All In The Name Of Science

Well, it is with great sadness that I, the Chief, must announce this is final Link Dump and post that will ever grace the pages of GameTime, TBD©.  Sadly, things back in the real world have gotten a little too complicated and we are going to have to close up shop, for good.

APRIL FOOLS!  Hahahahaha; oh man, that was classic.  You should have seen all of your faces.  Man, I kill myself sometimes.

Sadly, that is far from the lamest April Fools joke we have heard/seen today.  Even more sad, we did not even have to try to make it better than some we have seen.  Look, if you are still in college or younger, feel free to pull as many April Fools pranks as you would like.  But please, people, let us put April Fools Day onto that list of things people should no longer care about once they grow up.  Besides, we have more important things to talk about . . . WINNING.

So, I was pretty confident that the Chief's degenerate gambling ways were behind him, but one weekend-long run in Vegas, followed by a dinner with a fellow recovering degenerate gambler, has brought us to this:  The Chief's 2011 "Investment" Experiment.  You may recall last October we alerted you to the epic journey of one man, who bet on his beloved Pirates to lose, every game, to the tune of a 9.8% return on his "investment" over the course of the season.  Well, with the baseball season upon us (Opening Day was yesterday . . . you know, just in case you live in a cave and the only website your iPhone allows you to visit is this one), and that got the Chief thinking about running a little experiment of his own.  Now, for starters, the Chief cares about baseball only to the extent he has a player on his fantasy baseball team.  He does not have one favorite team that he follows at all costs.  Also, unlike the guy who "loves" his Pirates so much he could stomach to bet on them to lose every game, the Chief is an eternal optimist, who believes his team will always triumph (see, e.g., his beloved Kings, no way he could bet on them, he freaks out enough already).  Lastly, what is the fun of betting on someone to lose every game?  Would you not enjoy it more if you could turn a profit by betting on someone to win every game?

And that brings us to the details of the Chief's newest "investment" experiment.  Two guys, two hundred dollars each, betting twenty dollars that the Boston Red Sox will win every game this year.  Yes, that is one hundred and sixty-two (162) individual bets, all in the name of science.  How did these two groundbreaking scientists decide on the Red Sox you ask?  Well, for starters, the Chief wanted a team that he could tolerate that was expected to win significantly more games than they lose this year.  So that eliminated the New York Yankees.  Then, because they are only making a single straight wager every game, the Chief had to figure out what winning team was likely going to have the best average odds over the course of the season.  Looking at the Phillies and Red Sox (the only other two teams expected to win a statistically significant number of games more than they lose), the Red Sox play in the much more competitive American League East, and the American League in general seems to more competitive across the board.  So it was decided that the Boston Red Sox would be the guinea pig for this little experiment.  So, for example, today the Chief has the Red Sox money line (-125) versus the Texas Rangers in their season opener ($20 to win $16).  But to ensure that the average odds stay as close to minus-110 as possible (other gamblers understand this), when the Red Sox face lesser opponents or a team's fifth starter, the Chief will consider taking the run line over the money line.  Yes, that means that, in theory, the Red Sox could win but the Chief will still lose, but we are talking about science her people . . . and WINNING.

Should be a wild ride.  Worst case scenario, Red Sox start the season in a slump and early profits are not high enough to offset the losses and the nest egg dries up.  Best case scenario, the Red Sox set a new major league record for wins (currently 116 by the 2001 Seattle Mariners and 1906 Chicago Cubs).  The most likely result, however, is that Red Sox do as expected and the Chief is able to eek out a five to ten percent profit over the course of the season.  And it all starts today at 1:05 p.m. (PST).  So, while we go enjoy the start of the Chief's experiment, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was (and we promise, no April Fools links):

• Kate Upton is modeling for Guess? I guess I am okay with that.
• You know it is baseball season when [spins wheel]: Dodgers fans show just how classless they truly are.
• You know it is baseball season when [spins wheel]: the Washington Nationals can notanything right, even on Opening Day. do
• Let us take a look at the New York Mets payroll . . . for players no longer on team.  And, just for kicks, here is a closer look at what they still owe Bobby Bonilla.
• Pitcher's perfect game is good enough for a mention in the seventh paragraph . . . of an eight-paragraph story.
• What? A BCS Bowl is corrupt and abusing the money it receives?  Get right out of town.  I hope the BCS committee does the right thing when all is said and done.
• I wonder if he regrets titling his autobiography "Touched"?
• Congrats to all of you who took Wichita State in your NIT brackets.  [Editor's Note: the what?]
• From "Tomorrow Night's Mantra: Keep Your Cool and Respect Yourself" to "Dear TEAM CHI OMYGOD", this story will make your day.
• Thirteen-year-old has already perfected the "I never knowingly . . ." defense.  Sounds like he is ready for the big leagues.
• This story is the perfect bookend to the way we started this Dump . . . maybe not.

If there is one thing you do not want read right before you settle in for start of your "investment' experiment, it is probably something like this:  "[Texas starter] CJ Wilson was 3-0 with an 0.86 ERA in his three starts against Boston last year. The Red Sox hit only .157 against him with 20 strikeouts and only two runs in 21 innings."  And so it begins.  So, how about those videos now:

• Study up, we will be holding tryouts to fill out the Team GameTime, TBD© roster next weekend.
• "And then I was all, talk to the palm cause you ain't the bomb."
• I have something Kaley can practice with . . .  
• The only good thing about VCU's Final Four song is that it allows me to re-post one of the greatest music videos ever made.  [Editor's Note: Did you know The Hoff helped bring down the Berlin Wall? True story.]
• Oh fail, how I have missed you.
• With The Hangover II right around the corner, it is always fun to remember some of Alan's finer moments in Vegas.
• Apparently a lot of important people said a lot of inappropriate things this week.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Music to My Ears

The sounds of waves crashing along the beach is music to my ears.  And in two short days I will be listening to the most beautiful symphony ever composed while enjoying a cocktail (or ten) on the beaches of the Big Island.  Okay, now I am just bragging and that is not fair to you, my dear readers.  So I apologize.  But hey, since we are on the subject of music, let us talk a little more about it.  That is right, since I am in such a good mood, I have decided to present to you another edition of "Funny Things from the Chief's Past You Might Not Have Known".

Most of you who have gotten to know me recently probably only see the current image of the Chief:  sports fan, college golfer, frat guy, fun-loving partier, the work-hard-play-hard type of guy.  Nothing wrong with that.  And though we have hinted at it in the past, it is time you know something else.  Have you ever watched an episode of Glee?  I have, all of them.  And, for the most part, I have enjoyed them all.  Confused?  It is okay; it is only natural.  But it is time you that Glee is essentially the reincarnation of my high school experience.  That is right, I was a member of a nationally-ranked high school show choir and I loved it . . . jazz hands and all.  I am just going to go ahead and give you a moment to let that sink in  . . .

. . .

To be honest, most of you would be shocked with home competitive things get with show choir (remember, it's a competition and the Chief's in it).  And it was a great way to meet to incredibly attractive girls.  I mean, without it, I would not have joined the college glee club and met my Better Half.  And it certainly did not prevent me from lettering in three sports at the same time.  In fact, it was encouraged.  But my love for music extends well beyond show tunes and cheesy arrangements of current pop hits (though I still have a soft spot in my heart for them)  In fact, during high school I went through a pretty big Nine Inch Nails phase.  I did not dress the part, but I certainly loved everything Trent Reznor produced (which, most recently, includes the score to The Social Network . . . wild, right?)  And to this day, Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots remain two of my all-time favorite bands.  Jar of Flies is one of the few albums I can listen to start-to-finish without wanting to skip a track, and you have not lived until you have seen STP play an all-acoustic set with a giant lava lamp as the back drop.  And that is why I also wanted to draw your attention to this: KROQ's Locals Only Playlist.  If you could all take the time to scroll down to the voting section and type in "Motor Gun Hotel - Pay the Price" in the "Other" box, it would be greatly appreciated.  You see, MGH is a fantastic local band I have gotten to know over the past few years.  It is comprised of a talented guitarist, a phenomenal bassist, and an awesome female drummer.  That is it.  Three members that, together, knock out song after song that sound eerily like a cross between Chains and STP.  I encourage you to check out some of their performances on YouTube.   It is certainly not the "untz, untz, untz" music many of your prefer (myself included these days), but it certainly is worth a listen as you get ready to cut loose this weekend.

So, please go and vote for Motor Gun Hotel so we can get them more airtime down here in Southern California.  And then, once you have voted, come on back and enjoy the entertaining links we have lined up for you.  Or, if you are a strictly untz-untz person, just go ahead and start reading the links now:

• We should all strive to live the like great Ron Swanson.
• A must-read for HIV deniers, teleporters, Randy Quaid, train-wreck enthusiasts and fans of quality reportage.  So really, a win for all.
• Ladies, if your man wrote you a poem for Valentine's Day, I hope he is more of a wordsmith than C.J. Leslie.
• What? Potential corruption in the BCS? Get right out of town . . .
• With baseball right around the corner, let us make sure we are not getting ripped off at the stadiums.
• Whenever ever I start working some place new, I always like to make sure I criticize my new boss right out of the gates.  You know, to make a good first impression.
• A heart-warming story about a giant insurance company acting like . . . well . . . a giant insurance company. 
• Ability to receive pictures on cell phone and being under eighteen considered a plus. 
• Is this what the Spice Girls meant by "girl power"?
• Normally, when you read a team shot seven-percent from three-point range, it is not followed with "on one hundred and three attempts."
• You did not think China restricted its age falsification program to Summer Olympic events, did you? [*shaking head*]

Jimmer Fredette.  [Editor's Note: every now and then I randomly yell out "JIMMER!"  It's fun and always freaks out the people around you.  Try it, you'll feel great afterward, I promise.]  Well, Jimmer-mania has carried over into this NCAA season, and his play has been deserving of the praise.  So we get this week's video portion of the Link Dump started with Jimmer . . . JIMMER!:

• Would someone please teach me, teach me how to Jimmer?
• Jimmer Fredette breaks ankles with his crossover.
• Three-and-a-half minutes of Blake Griffin dunking?  Yes please.
• Yeah, I like to shoot a little stick.  [Editor's Note: that's what she said . . . wait, what?]
• Apparently the trick shot craze has spread to quaterbacks and douches soccer goalies.
• If you are not watching Tosh.0 on Comedy Central, shame. on. you.
• The current vote stands at Fake: 2, Real: 0.  You be the judge.
• Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy now has two memorable press conferences.  You all remember the first.  And here is the second.  
• If you do not know who Keenan Cahill is, you should.
• Even though we will be dark next, I can guarantee JKL will bring you another quality "Unnecessary Censorship", just like he has this week.

Just a friendly reminder that we will be on vacation all next week.  Look for new and exciting things to start popping up on GameTime, TBD© come March.  In the meantime, have a great week everyone!

I Swear, I Am Not Crazy

Happy Friday to you all. I hope everyone is surviving this crazy weather we are having . . . well . . . pretty much across the country. At our weekly GameTime, TBD© "staff meeting" this morning it was decided that this will be the second to last official Link Dump of 2009. Apparently, some people were not to thrilled with the idea of trying to put something together for Christmas or New Years. "But what about our Jewish readers?" I replied. Then I discovered when offices close for Christmas, that means everyone stays home. Turns out New Years also falls on Friday. I thought it best to let my "staff" sleep it off that day, rather than putting together some rambling, incoherent Link Dump. So, next week will be the last Friday of 2009 for us to provide you with your weekly does of news and entertainment (it also happens to be the day after the Chief's 29th birthday . . . hint, hint . . .).

Yesterday morning, a nice young man (we'll call him Matt . . . if only because that's what his name tag said) woke up and said "I have to remember to go to my shelf-stocker job at Vons this afternoon." Meanwhile, somewhere across town, it was decided that I would stop and do the grocery shopping after work, while my Better Half spent the day cranking out a take-home (seriously?) final. Now, if you know me (which you obviously do by now), you know that I am a huge popcorn fan (borderline snob). And I am not talking about that microwaveable crap. No; I am talking about the fresh kernels that are popped over an open flame on the stove. Now, back to Matt. Matt went about his day as usual, got work, and began the tedious process of restocking shelves and helping old women reach cans of soup. Then, at about 6:53 p.m. PST, Matt took that fateful turn down the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle, where he ran into me. The conversation went something like this

The Chief: Excuse me, do you know if you have any non-microwave popcorn in the back?
Matt: Whatever we have is already out here.
The Chief: Really?
Matt: [*reaching for bottom shelf*] We have this bag of kernels right here.
The Chief: [*giving the old "really?" expression*] Is that it? You only have Safeway brand?
Matt: Sir, I can assure you the Safeway brand is a quality popcorn.
The Chief: Have you ever had it?
Matt: No.
The Chief: So then, would it be fair to say that you can neither confirm nor deny whether the Safeway brand popcorn kernels are of equal quality to Orville Redenbacher kernels?
Matt: I guess. [*giving the old "what did I do to deserve this?" expression]
The Chief: Okay, well, I know what I am about to say is going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of apples, but between you and me, the two are not even close. Write that down.
Matt: I don't have a pen.
The Chief: Well, remember that then. In the mean time, I'll take what I can and enjoy this Safeway brand popcorn to the best of my ability.
Matt: Well, have a nice night, sir. [*giving the old "I hope you get mowed down in the parking lot by that old lady I just helped who clearly shouldn't be driving" look*]

I know what you are all thinking right about now and, yes, it is true, I did direct him to Orville Redenbacher's Wikipedia page in the middle of our conversation. And, to be quite honest, I think that is where I lost Matt. I think I was about to win him over, but that was just a little too far. But at least he learned something at work yesterday, and that is something he can thank me for next time I pacing the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle looking for my Orville Redenbacher popping corn. And since I was nice enough to teach Matt something this week, here are some things to help make you more informed sports fans:

• In the spirit of the Holiday Season, we start with Marisa Miller in the December issue of Access magazine. Have I ever heard of Access magazine? Who cares.
• While the Senate is stuck debating health care reform, the House has moved on to more important things.
• Brian Kelly's former players wish him nothing but success at his new job.
• Tennessee expects me to believe these chicks are not running the spread offense for high school recruits?
• Speaking of hostesses, here is a brief history of their use at various colleges.
• Penbrook will not tolerate Steelers fans in their county . . . oops, nevermind, apparently they forgot about that whole First Amendment thing. Honest mistake.
• Your "Chad Ochocinco is the most amazing professional athlete ever" update of the week.
• Yesterday, there was some tragic news out of Seattle. Brace yourself.
• I am officially considering a career change.
  
• What could possibly go wrong?
• Tracy McGrady has yet to play in a game this NBA season. Keep that in mind when reading this headline.
• "Bonds' agent concedes slugger's playing days are over." Now, who gets to go tell Barry?
• High school volleyball player lets one get past the blockers, gets benched, sues school. Talk about your no-win situation.

Okay, level with me, should I be feeling guilty about last night? No? Good, I did not think so. I mean, I am not being crazy here. Orville Redenbacher versus Safeway brand? There really is no comparison. Good, thanks for the support. Moving on. Here are some clips for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully, you do not think they suck:

• Selection Sunday at the BCS Headquarters went about as well as anyone expected.
• "Well, a bet's a bet." Only the finest live in the South.
  
• Let me see, goalie scores a goal? Check. Goalie runs the length of the field to celebrate? Check. Teammate gets on top of him and simulates sex? Check.
• My lone mention of Tiger this week: the Tiger Woods Anthem.
• I have said it before, and I will say it again: local commercials rule.
• "Why the Internet is Great" reason number 1,763,459: videos like this.
  
• David Letterman sent out his first official tweet this week, as only David Letterman could.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Where Do We Go From Here?

Actual work (sucks) is going to keep the fine folks at GameTime, TBD© from getting a full Link Dump out to all you fine individuals today. We apologize. But the Chief had a few things he wanted to say real quick before giving you a few videos to at least make your Friday afternoon a little more bearable.

Had we been able to compile a complete Link Dump for you today, undoubtedly fifty percent of the articles would have been related to Tiger Woods and his inability to keep his drives from going down the wrong fairways. Yes, Weiss and (Body by) Mangino were fired; yes, AI is back in Philadelphia; yes, the BCS still sucks; yes, T.J. Simers proved, once again, he is the only Los Angeles Times writer with a brain; and yes, my Better Half and I did watch Marisa Miller and the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show together (your honor, we offer into evidence defense exhibit #1,420,693 as proof my Better Half is awesome: "Alessandra Ambrosio? I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed." The defense rests). However, I am estimating that three out of every five sports articles written this week were about Tiger. As my parents always said, "Nothing good happens after midnight", and when that nothing good happens to the first billion dollar athlete, people seem to take notice. Look, I love that I can make a Tiger Woods' joke now and it brings down the house (did so 3 times last night alone), but I am not about to attack a man's personal problems on the World Wide Web. Yes, I am in the, apparent, minority that believes Tiger is right in requesting we respect his privacy.

But here is what I did want to say: it can not be easy growing up these days. I was a lucky kid in that I had to great parents that I can proudly call role models. But many kids (is that divorce rate still hovering around 50%?) are not that lucky. Instead, they turn to athletes, musicians, and celebrities. Last time I checked, there are not that many good ones out there either (though, to all you ladies age 18-and-over, I strongly recommend Rihanna [*wink*]). And now, perhaps the one man we thought was a good role model, is about to shell out another fifty-five million dollars just to convince his wife to stick around for at least five more years (Elin, take the $30 million and the 3-iron and just tell him to have a nice day). The folks at IMG had done a pretty nice job of packaging Tiger as the perfect man: the best in his sport, generous, and a great family man. And yes, we all make mistakes and no one is perfect (except my Better Half). Yet, while I am still a fan of Tiger Woods the golfer, it is sad to see what has become of him as a person in one week: someone I would not want my yet-to-be-conceived son looking up to.

Sorry to get all heavy there on you for a moment, but like I always say (and it's good to know DP feels the same way): if you need to have a pre-nuptial agreement, you probably should not be getting married in the first place. And with that, here are some video clips to help make at least part of your afternoon a little better:

• Just your average lunch break around the BCS offices.
• Tuts my barreh. [Editor's note: that's what she said!]
• Still debating whether the Slap Chop is the perfect holiday gift for that special somebody? Maybe this will help you decide.
• Looks like he zagged when he should have zigged.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Remember, Don't Eat the Yellow Snow

GameTime, TBD© pop quiz: What do the numbers 10, 15, 25, and 21 have in common? [Editor's Note: cue the Jeopardy music.]

No, my dear readers, they are not the margins of loss in the Lions' first four games this season. Though, I would not blame you for thinking so. Give up?

Those beautiful numbers, my friends, are the forecasted highs in East Rochester, New York for the next the four days. Why, you may be asking yourself, do the fine people at GameTime, TBD© care about the highs in East Rochester when it is sunny and 80 glorious degrees in Los Angeles right now? Well, at 11:45 p.m. this evening, my Better Half and I will be departing on a red-eye bound for Chicago (current temperature, according to weather.com, 1 degree . . . but it feels like -13? . . . awesome) and then on to East Rochester to visit my grandparents. Some might think it unwise to head for upstate New York in mid-January but to you I say this: have you not always wanted to see what happens when you put a petite California-blond in sub-freezing temperatures for a weekend? It is like the ultimate science experiment . . . nay . . . like an episode of MTv's Exiled (look, I'm not proud of my guilty pleasures, it's just something I have to live with). Sources close to GameTime, TBD© can confirm that my Better Half is reporting that she has only been snowed on once in her life. She has been IN the snow several times, but it was only when she was in New York City showing the United Nations a thing or two about diplomacy during her senior year of college that she actually got snowed on. Do not get me wrong, my blood has definitely thinned since my days of living just south of our neighbors to the north, but I can still remember the layers of clothes I had put on just to go out for recess in kindergarten. Not fun.

So, while I figure out ways to (1) make my blood thicker between now and 5:30 a.m. CST, and (b) convince my Better Half it would be fun to run outside in her bikini and boots (unfortunately, she's about 100-times smarter than I am . . . and I'm pretty damn smart), here are some things you might have missed:

• Apparently Lions management failed to read my road map to success before hiring their new head coach. A note to Mr. Schwartz, do not expect to be in Detroit for four years if Lewand sticks around.
• Perhaps a six pack of one of these might help you get through the NFC Championship game on Sunday. Unfortunately, you probably won't see much of the AFC Championship then.
• My friends and I have already mapped out our training schedule for the next year.
• A raging catfight? Lesbian girlfriends? Someone's hair set on fire? Anyone else smell 2010 summer blockbuster?
• Eddie Curry sued for sexual harassment . . . by ex-chauffeur . . . ex-MALE-chauffeur.
• My yet-to-be-conceived first son would like everyone to know that he has already committed to play basketball at UCLA.
• Another rule change in the works intended to make the BCS better. Unfortunately, rule change not spelled P-L-A-Y-O-F-F.
• Lack of lane violations gets coach's wife suing mad.
  
• Coach of high school basketball team that just won 94-1: "don't hate the player, hate the game." What is that? She said respect the game? She must have been confused.
• Yes, there is a 6' 8" female high school basketball player out there and, yes, she does look and sound like a grown man.
• We here at GameTime, TBD© have been known to make light of your everyday male student/female teacher sex scandal. We do, however, realize that these relationships can have severe emotional affects on a teenage boy.
• What do you get for being a mom who poses as her daughter to enroll in high school and try out for the cheerleading squad? Why, an all-expense-paid trip to the loony bin of course.
• Looks like Bonds might be in the clear (see what I did there? . . . genius, I know).
• No, this recession will not stop the New York Yankees from screwing over the City of New York.
• David Feherty: great guy, funniest man in sports.

And for your weekly viewing pleasuer, I lead with an apology. We hear at GameTime, TBD© often forget the awesome power this section of our Link Dump wields over our readers. So, to those of you who have had a particular song stuck in your head for the past week, we are sorry. But you were warned going into it. As for your viewing pleasure this week, we do include a song (that probably won't get stuck in your head) and revisit The Chief's epic man-crush (bromance?):

• Well, he clearly loves the BCS.
• New best Peyton Manning commercial . . .
• barely edging out his laser-rocket arm . . .
• and all the support he gives to the everyday people (yes, there are 3 different videos there).
• And, lest we forget, he is a great role model for the kids.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Video Update: The Stars Wars trilogy as you have never seen it/heard it before.]

Anything Exciting Going on This Weekend?

"Sanjay Collins."
"Chuck Vindaloo. Excited to be here!"

As I am sure you dedicated GameTime, TBD© readers are well aware, the "staff" that runs this here gift to mankind has quite the affinity for Wedding Crashers. And starting this weekend, and lasting all through next week, we will be relying on that piece of cinematic genius to get us by. Unfortunately it is not because we will be crashing weddings at alarming rates in an effort to constantly hook up with ridonkulously attractive women (two reasons: (1) I don't have any friends that are slick enough to pull this off, and (b) my Better Half probably wouldn't appreciate it . . . wait, I probably should reverse those . . . if only there was a way to delete that like a "delete" button, or maybe "backspace", so my Better Half would think that she's the #1 reason . . . anyone?). No, that is not the case. It is because I will be drawing on rule number seventy-six, as first laid down by the great Chazz Reinhold, "No excuses. Play like a champion!"

That is right my friends, this weekend the good folks at GameTime, TBD© are packing their bags and heading to Jackson, Mississippi . . . well, Copiah County, Mississippi to be exact, but I think Jackson just sounds sexier. Turning to my trusty sidekick, Wikipedia, I see that Copiah County's population is estimated to be at 29,317. The county encompasses 779 square miles of prime real estate, of which 777 square miles are land and 3 square miles are water (just let that sink in . . . I think they call that Mississippi math). Wikipedia was nice enough to point out that for every 100 females over the age of eighteen in Copiah County, there are 89.10 males. That means the odds are in my favor (kidding) and that I really need to find out where they keep that .10 of a man. Wikipedia did fail, however, to tell me the percentage of the population that wears overalls, the average number of teeth per individual, or why it is no longer considered the "Tomato Capital of the World". To top it all off, I am going for work, which means I can not go around making fun of people. I mean, seriously, what is the point? And that is why I will have to take my "A" game with me and play like a champion, because I do not want to throw down with any of those farmers (unless it is because of something that may or may not have happened with one of their daughters . . . baZING!).

I know, I know, I have totally bummed you out and made you crazy jealous of the amazing week I have ahead of me. But I am sure that you all have some pretty exciting things lined up. So here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time until your rockin' weekend begins:

• Heidi versus Marisa: gentlemen, you. are. welcome.
• We here at GameTime, TBD© love a good scandal that includes the phrases "cheerleader" (I'm listening), "18-year-old" (legal, nice!), and "penises" (wait, what? Damn it!). TMZ would like us to know, however, that there are two sides to every story.
• How come "streaking" was not a tradition at my high school? I am moving to Canada.
• 52-year-old custodian really loves his moped, redefines the word "awesome".
• Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm (you read that right) and is brave enough to go on camera to discuss her harrowing tale.
• John Daly would like to set the record straight.
• Apparently Lute Olson's ex-wife is a little bit crazy.
• I will give you 100 guesses as to why Florida State safety Myron Rolle is going to miss the Seminoles' November 22nd game at Maryland, and then 100 more.
• Oregon baseball jerseys now as ugly as football jerseys (but at least their cheerleaders are still hot).
• The crappy play of the Chicago Blackhawks is systematically eliminating an entire family.
• Ryan Leaf back in the news for being . . . well . . . Ryan Leaf.
• Florida alum goes gator on her husband . . . shockingly, alcohol may have been involved.

And for your view pleasure, we break the vault wide open; we have got a little something for everyone (if by "a little something" you mean "hot chicks" and "everyone" you mean "the dudes"). But ladies, do not fear, I have got your back as well:

• Heidi Klum (twice in one post, nice) gives Guitar Hero: World Tour the Risky Business treatment; and here is the Director's Cut (when did commercials start needing Director's . . . oh, I see . . . carry on).
• It was only a matter of time before cheerleading and the Nintendo Wii joined forces. And may I add that Natalie is quite . . . um . . . insightful with her review.
• While this is an amazing catch, the real question is: why does this high school have three different camera angles?
  
• The secrets of the BCS have finally been revealed. Let us see how they worked out Week 1 and Week 2.
• In honor of Californians deciding to give more rights to animals than gay couples, we bring back the most popular GameTime, TBD© Link Dump video of all time. If you are a GameTime, TBD© reader and voted yes on Prop 8, there is the door; don't let it hit you on the way out.

Have a great weekend everyone!