We are running a little behind schedule this morning (borderline afternoon), but that is not going to stop us from getting some entertainment headed your direction. No judge, no matter how long-winded or how meticulous, is going to stop GameTime, TBD© from getting you your weekly source of entertainment, or as you call it, the Link Dump.
Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said.], a brief comment on the Pacific 10 Men's Basketball Conference . . . or as I now call it, the Wac-10. The Wac-10 is appropriate for two reasons: (1) I think any team from the Western Athletic Conference (the actual WAC conference) could compete in the Pac-10 this season; and (b) things have gotten just down right wacky in the conference this season. Everyone (and their mother) knew the Pac-10 was going to have a down year in terms of overall performance, but no one knew it was going to get this bad. The conference is a combined 5-13 against AP Top 25 teams this year and all teams are within two games of the conference lead. California and Arizona State (really?) are tied for the league lead and Washington, the preseason favorite to essentially runaway with the league, is struggling at 3-4 in the league after last nights last-second loss to UCLA. Oh, UCLA.
It seems like only yesterday you were playing in your third-straight Final Four. After watching you struggle through your non-conference schedule (5-7), you started Pac-10 play with a surprising win over Arizona State. Then you got blown out by Arizona, and that pattern has continued; a nice win in your mid-week game, a blow out loss on the weekend. Yet I can not quit you. At 3-3 in the conference, you are right there in the mix. Now if only you would string a few nice games together with, oh, I do not know, a little effort. You might be surprised at the result.
So with that being said, I encourage you to follow the Wac-10 for the rest of the season. Not because of the great basketball you are going to see, but rather because of just how crazy-bad things are. But before you go boning (hehehe . . . bone) up on your Wac-10 information, feel free to check out some things you might have missed:
- In non-sports related [read: hot-chick related] news, the world was rocked by news that Marisa Miller would parting ways with Victoria's Secret. Thankfully, Victoria has since stated the story is false. What would we have done without this?
- I did not realize "ambiguous sexual characteristics" required the creation of "special medical centers". I thought the five o'clock shadow (amongst other "things") usually gave it away.
- Are you ready for the AFC and NFC championships? The Sports Guy certainly is.
- You too can see JaMarcus Russell's c-cups for just a handful of beads.
- Hey Rueben, how have you been spending your time since being cut by the Giants? Oh, I see.
- With all the "hostess" hoopla going on in the SEC, Mississippi State is going a different route to attract recruits. [Editor's Note: sorry in advance for the picture.]
- I really wish this was a link to a story by The Onion. Sadly, it is not.
- While most Major League Baseball players are trying to get off the juice, Miguel Cabrera is trying to get off the sauce.
- Maybe he can get together with Hammer.
- Sportsmanship at its finest . . . if by finest you mean fouling the other team to keep the clock from running so you can still reach one hundred points. Karma's a bitch.
Sorry we are a little light on links this week. Between running behind and the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is football, things were a little scarce in the creativity and humor department. So, in our infinite wisdom (someone's got to have some, right?), we have decided to give an extra large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure on this very wet Friday:
- John Daly (looking svelte as ever my man) weighs in on Tiger Woods 'cause . . . well . . . why not?
- This was the "Highlight of the Night" on Sports Centre . . . no, that is not a typo.
- You know that we are a suckers for a good nut shot . . . no matter how long ago it occurred.
- Could 2010 be the year of win? . . .
- . . . Guess not. Remember kids, crack kills.
- With the Olympics right around the corner, it is good remember the great moments we are likely to see (besides wardrobe malfunctions of course).
- David Letterman proves yet again
he is his writers are still the funniest in late night television [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch Coco's final show on NBC tonight.] - Speaking of Coco, he is on a mission to spend as much money as possible during his final week at NBC. Here are attempts one and two.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Happy Friday to you all. I hope everyone is surviving this crazy weather we are having . . . well . . . pretty much across the country. At our weekly GameTime, TBD© "staff meeting" this morning it was decided that this will be the second to last official Link Dump of 2009. Apparently, some people were not to thrilled with the idea of trying to put something together for Christmas or New Years. "But what about our Jewish readers?" I replied. Then I discovered when offices close for Christmas, that means everyone stays home. Turns out New Years also falls on Friday. I thought it best to let my "staff" sleep it off that day, rather than putting together some rambling, incoherent Link Dump. So, next week will be the last Friday of 2009 for us to provide you with your weekly does of news and entertainment (it also happens to be the day after the Chief's 29th birthday . . . hint, hint . . .).
Yesterday morning, a nice young man (we'll call him Matt . . . if only because that's what his name tag said) woke up and said "I have to remember to go to my shelf-stocker job at Vons this afternoon." Meanwhile, somewhere across town, it was decided that I would stop and do the grocery shopping after work, while my Better Half spent the day cranking out a take-home (seriously?) final. Now, if you know me (which you obviously do by now), you know that I am a huge popcorn fan (borderline snob). And I am not talking about that microwaveable crap. No; I am talking about the fresh kernels that are popped over an open flame on the stove. Now, back to Matt. Matt went about his day as usual, got work, and began the tedious process of restocking shelves and helping old women reach cans of soup. Then, at about 6:53 p.m. PST, Matt took that fateful turn down the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle, where he ran into me. The conversation went something like this
The Chief: Excuse me, do you know if you have any non-microwave popcorn in the back?
Matt: Whatever we have is already out here.
The Chief: Really?
Matt: [*reaching for bottom shelf*] We have this bag of kernels right here.
The Chief: [*giving the old "really?" expression*] Is that it? You only have Safeway brand?
Matt: Sir, I can assure you the Safeway brand is a quality popcorn.
The Chief: Have you ever had it?
Matt: No.
The Chief: So then, would it be fair to say that you can neither confirm nor deny whether the Safeway brand popcorn kernels are of equal quality to Orville Redenbacher kernels?
Matt: I guess. [*giving the old "what did I do to deserve this?" expression]
The Chief: Okay, well, I know what I am about to say is going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of apples, but between you and me, the two are not even close. Write that down.
Matt: I don't have a pen.
The Chief: Well, remember that then. In the mean time, I'll take what I can and enjoy this Safeway brand popcorn to the best of my ability.
Matt: Well, have a nice night, sir. [*giving the old "I hope you get mowed down in the parking lot by that old lady I just helped who clearly shouldn't be driving" look*]
I know what you are all thinking right about now and, yes, it is true, I did direct him to Orville Redenbacher's Wikipedia page in the middle of our conversation. And, to be quite honest, I think that is where I lost Matt. I think I was about to win him over, but that was just a little too far. But at least he learned something at work yesterday, and that is something he can thank me for next time I pacing the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle looking for my Orville Redenbacher popping corn. And since I was nice enough to teach Matt something this week, here are some things to help make you more informed sports fans:
- In the spirit of the Holiday Season, we start with Marisa Miller in the December issue of Access magazine. Have I ever heard of Access magazine? Who cares.
- While the Senate is stuck debating health care reform, the House has moved on to more important things.
- Brian Kelly's former players wish him nothing but success at his new job.
- Tennessee expects me to believe these chicks are not running the spread offense for high school recruits?
- Speaking of hostesses, here is a brief history of their use at various colleges.
- Penbrook will not tolerate Steelers fans in their county . . . oops, nevermind, apparently they forgot about that whole First Amendment thing. Honest mistake.
- Your "Chad Ochocinco is the most amazing professional athlete ever" update of the week.
- Yesterday, there was some tragic news out of Seattle. Brace yourself.
- I am officially considering a career change.
- What could possibly go wrong?
- Tracy McGrady has yet to play in a game this NBA season. Keep that in mind when reading this headline.
- "Bonds' agent concedes slugger's playing days are over." Now, who gets to go tell Barry?
- High school volleyball player lets one get past the blockers, gets benched, sues school. Talk about your no-win situation.
Okay, level with me, should I be feeling guilty about last night? No? Good, I did not think so. I mean, I am not being crazy here. Orville Redenbacher versus Safeway brand? There really is no comparison. Good, thanks for the support. Moving on. Here are some clips for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully, you do not think they suck:
- Selection Sunday at the BCS Headquarters went about as well as anyone expected.
- "Well, a bet's a bet." Only the finest live in the South.
- Let me see, goalie scores a goal? Check. Goalie runs the length of the field to celebrate? Check. Teammate gets on top of him and simulates sex? Check.
- My lone mention of Tiger this week: the Tiger Woods Anthem.
- I have said it before, and I will say it again: local commercials rule.
- "Why the Internet is Great" reason number 1,763,459: videos like this.
- David Letterman sent out his first official tweet this week, as only David Letterman could.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Despite my continued illness, it has been a pretty good week. For starters, my Better Half and I had a great Valentine's Day yesterday, including a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers and nice dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Plus, as I know you are all aware, Marisa Miller made the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As the cover model, Miller has become the de facto spokeswoman for the swimsuit issue, making appearances, giving interviews, and showing up just about everywhere you turn (including a three-story billboard in the middle of New York City). While I have to deal with a new building obstructing the view from my office, some schmuck in the Big Apple gets three-stories of Marisa Miller. Sometimes life just is not fair.
In case you are wondering, my Better Half was a little disappointed with year's swimsuit issue. First, she was not impressed with any of the bathing suits; though, she did promise me she would try out the coconut bikini bottoms on our honeymoon (bonus). Then, and I actually agree with her, she was not impressed with any of the models or their photo shoots (though, she did pick her favorite on the grounds she looked "young and innocent" . . . yowzers!). All and all, I did not really think the 2008 swimsuit issue lived up to its predecessors, or my expectations were a little high because there was a lot of Marisa on the cover. Maybe I will have to give it a second run through this weekend to make I am not overlooking anything. But for now, I just have to get to the weekend, and so do you. Here are some things you might have missed to help get you there faster:
- While most people would love finding a copy of the SI Swimsuit Issue on their office floor, this lady would prefer tea . . . TEA! What is the harm in having some NFL cheerleaders in thongs first thing in the morning?
- For all you traveling to Kentucky to catch the Tonya Harding boxing match, looks like your ticket is not worth much anymore.
- Looking to fill out the rest of their roster, Michigan football holds open tryouts for anyone interested in playing. Hey Michigan fans, still feel good about that Rick Rodriguez hiring?
- Apparently the author of this article does not that Rob Blake is known as the "King of Manhattan Beach."
- Having discovered everything there is to discover in the universe, NASA turns to the next best thing . . . swimsuits.
- Reggie Bush is apparently VERY interested in ensuring that this illegal benefits case he is dealing with goes away quietly . . . and in the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car.
- Parents are angry that public school achievement test is in English. In Chicago... you know, the one in Illinois... in the USA.
If you could tell for the articles I was able to find, it has been a pretty slow news week. Most of the world was focused on Clemens' hearing before Congress. Not that exciting. I tell you what is exciting though, these two clips I have for your viewing pleasure (well, at least for the viewing pleasure of my male readers). Since this week has essentially become the week in which we honor Marisa Miller, here is some more Marisa for you:
- What is the best way to train for the swimsuit issue? If you guessed boxing, please collect your prize on the way out.
- If I recall correctly, David Letterman has a bad heart. How did he possibly survive this then?
- As an added bonus (and for my female readers), here is a video of people getting their faces rearranged by a volleyball; and I have got to say, when it comes to comedy, a volleyball to the face is a close second to the nut shot.
Have a great weekend everyone!
