Bite Your Tongue

I am not going to lie, I was a little stressed out this morning during my train ride into the GameTime, TBD© office.  The Chief usually wants to know what the Link Dump introduction subject matter is going to be first thing in the morning so he has the necessary time to research the topic before making the final edits and sending the post "to print".  Well, so many things happened this week, I was having trouble picking one.  Do I go with commentary on college basketball officiating or the latest controversy in the NHL regarding dangerous hits?  What about UCLA's complete failure to show up last night versus a lesser opponent?  To be honest, I was leaning towards the UCLA introduction.  For starters, officiating is an issue I could beat to death, revive, then beat to death again, and I would still feel unsatisfied and the Zdeno Chara hit might be a little too heavy for a Friday afternoon.  Plus, under those two topics, I am liable to say something that finally puts GameTime, TBD© on the map . . . for all the wrong reasons.  So I thought it best to bite my tongue and go with UCLA because, after all, in reliving the nightmare that was last night's game, at least I would get to reference Oregon's cheerleaders.  But then a funny thing happened while I was standing in line at Starbucks waiting to get my morning coffee . . .

I am always amazed by what people are willing to talk about while out in public.  As you know, one of the the Chief's biggest pet peeves is when people talk on their cellphones in elevators.  It is not just because he is stuck in a tiny cube and forced to listen to someone yakking away that drives him nuts; it is often the conversation the people are having.  You might recall the time he was forced to listen to a woman discuss her friends . . . errr . . . "exploits" from the previous evening (which include such classic lines as "And he just thought you'd let him stick it there the first time?").  Nasty.  Or there was the girl on the treadmill next me telling her friend all about how she was going to seduce the father of the kids she served as part-time nanny for.  Charming.  And I can not even begin to go into the ridiculous conversations I hear on the train.  I wish I could claim I was a compulsive eavesdropper, but unfortunately people just talk loud.

Which brings me to this morning, in the lonnnnnnnnnnnng line at Starbucks, where I had to listen to the woman in front of me talk to her co-worker about her ex-husband's mission to buy their child's love.  Any thing that child wants, his father buys him: video games, sports equipment, clothes, blah, blah, blah.  And she did not think it was fair because he was the big-shot executive with all the money.  How could she compete?  After about five minutes (did I mention it was a lonnnnnnnnng line?), I almost felt like I was entitled to give my opinion on the subject.  It was, after all, your classic tale of man bones secretary, wife finds out, man hires better divorce attorney, you know the rest.  For what it is worth, I thought perhaps the husband felt guilty about the trouble he brought on his family and was trying to make it up to his kid, albeit with material things.  But before I could get there, I got Captain Over Share's opinion (and I quote): "Do you think he found out I've been sleeping with Steve and is now trying to turn [our son] against me?  I mean, I know he's good friends with Steve, but Steve promised he wouldn't say a thing." You stay classy, random woman at Starbucks.

Look people, I am very familiar with the "these are all strangers, I'll never see them again, so what do I care what they hear?" line of reasoning.  But strangers or not, there is such a thing as common courtesy.  And I want to hear about your personal life about as much as you want to hear about mine.  There is so much going on in the world to talk about, why not save the personal stuff for the privacy of your office or your car? So please, random people of the world, learn to bite your tongue . . . or you might find your exploits being posted on a random blog for all my avid readers to enjoy.

Speaking of things for my avid readers to enjoy:

• In non-sports related news, apparently the internet has made it more difficult for people to hide their "I used to be a porn star" pasts.
• Your "No duh!" link of the week: apparently we should be paying more attention to women's surfing.  [Editor's Note: for the sake of . . . ummm . . . journalistic integrity, we have confirmed that, yes, Alana Blanchard doesn't mind showing a cheek or two while surfing.]
• Oh, NCAA, if there is one thing you do so well, its hypocrisy.  [Editor's Note: read both the main article and then the supplement reaction from the author.]
• Come on, Bill James, you can never completely eliminate the human element from an equation.  [Editor's Note: or, as long-time friend of the program Ballgame put it, the "crapping the bed" element.]
• Wow, it sucks to be from the Ohio Valley Conference.
• “[Stanford] accommodates athletes in the manner that they accommodate students with disabilities.”
• Apparently it has been a rough spring training for players' rides.  [Editor's Note: anyone else think we should start using the word "purloined" more often?]
• Well, I am glad we got that all cleared up.
•  For all those people out there who think it is crazy for the NBA to talk contraction, I present you with this:  Blake Griffin is able to sell out a New Jersey Nets game while Kobe and Lebron play to a half-full arena in Miami.
• Maybe he liked the view?
• I think Aston Villa should change their mascot to the "Hermit of the Holte End".
• He must be crazy. A love-hate relationship with the McRib?

It feels good to be back up and running at full capacity post-vacation.  We were planning to spend part of this Link Dump apologizing for our lack of a full Dump last week, but word on the street is that Ms. Upton was a sufficient apology.  Should we be offended?  While we debate this in the privacy of our office, here are some videos to help you make that final push to the weekend:

• WINNING!
• Tom Brady proudly invites you to "Dance Party, U.S.A."!
• Worst. Sportscast. Ever.  At least have the common decency to drop a catch phrase that will live forever, fellas.
• If being stuck in the office all day has got you down, here is a four-minute walk across the Appalachian Trail.  If nothing else, it is a beautiful look at the longest foot trail in America.
• Call the travel, ref!
• This is fantastically fake (I hope) . . . but also a reminder to be careful when stealing someone's parking spot (you know, like put your top up).
• Nothing like an awesome mash-up to get our weekend started off on the right foot.
• Someone could create a video of Jennifer Aniston sitting on a park bench reading and I would probably still post it here.  But, thankfully for you, SmartWater made a funny video with "Jen" Aniston instead.  [Editor's Note: and, yes, I would have gladly auditioned for the role of "Nut Shot Guy" . . . too much?]

Have a great weekend everyone!

Happy Holidays!

The GameTime, TBD© gift exchange is almost done, and that can mean only one thing: it is time for us to give you, our dear readers, a little something special for the holidays.  [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]

This is officially our 200th post, so we wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your endless support of our little corner of the world wide web.  It is hard to believe that we started this thing over four years ago and that we are still going strong.  And it is because of all of you that we keep striving to make this a better site day-in and day-out.  We might not be able to keep up as much as we would like, but believe you me, we try are darnedest to do so.  We hope you and your families have the happiest and healthiest of holiday seasons.  We have some new surprises in store for everyone next year and we are looking forward to an amazing 2011.  Thank you again for your endless support and we look forward to seeing you in the new year!

. . . .

Oh, and one more thing.  Since this is technically the last day of everyone's work week, and since we sincerely doubt any of you have an ounce of motivation to do some work, here is our holiday gift to you:

• Not surprisingly, NFL cheerleaders look good when they rock the holiday-themed outfits.
• Remember, you should be spreading Christmas cheer at all hours of the day.
• It is the week before Christmas, so that means it is time for Lonely Island to bail Saturday Night Live out with a funny new digital short.  [Editor's Note: featuring rising-GameTime, TBD© favorite Blake Lively nonetheless!]
• Speaking of Saturday Night Live, once upon a time they managed to create funny holiday skits on their own.

Have a great holiday season everyone! We will see you in 2011!

A New Experiment

We here at GameTime, TBD© are not the first, nor will we be the last, people in this world who find ourselves asking "Where does the time go?"  I am sure it will come as no surprise to our avid readers, but we clearly have not had as much time over the past few months as we would have liked to dedicate to our little corner of the world wide web.  As frustrating for us as that may be [Editor's Note: believe that would fall under the category "very".], it has not stopped us from trying to find new and improved ways to make our site more accessible to our fans and also attract new readers.  After all, the more profitable this site becomes, more greater the possibility we could actually do this for a living.

To that end, we have taken the plunge and joined Twitter.  For those of you who are already members on Twitter, you can click on the "Twitter" button up there to your right, or, if you are reading this on some sort of mobile device, you can search for "GameTimeTBD" via your Twitter for iPhone, Twitter for Blackberry, or Twitter for Android application.  If, for whatever valid reason, you are not a member but have been thinking about joining, you should.  We had been pretty hesitant to join for a long time and had bounced back and forth on the idea over the past couple of weeks.  As it turns out, it is actually pretty cool.  Do not worry, we made the Chief promise he would not "tweet" from the bathroom or do anything weird like that, but we figure it allows us to at least give our two cents about breaking sports and pop culture news (assuming our two cents can be summarized in 140 characters or less).  Plus, it turns out some people are pretty fun to follow.  Our favorites thus far have been Stephen Colbert (funny/random comments), Barney Stinson/Neil Patrick Harris (great bro advice), and SI Swimsuit (sneak peeks of the 2011 Swimsuit Issue on location).

We are still trying to figure out all the ins and outs of the site [Editor's Note: that's what she said!], so it may be a while until we are fully up and running.  In fact, we are expecting a link to this post to be our first official tweet.  Look at that, you are all a part of history.  So, while we go make sure we understand exactly how to shrink a link [Editor's Note: I've heard cold water works well . . . ba-ZING!], here is an extended Link Dump featuring girls, humor, more girls, and some sports:

• Though you have probably already seen it, we could not pass up the greatest sports photograph of the year.
• I can not say I have ever heard of 944 magazine, but any magazine willing to feature Marisa Miller is fine by me.
• As part of the Pac-10, Arizona State plays UCLA.  Ergo, this story is relevant . . . somehow.
• Apparently Playboy did not have the guts to pick the Lions to make the playoffs.  Since they are 0-4, I guess that seems like a smart decision.  So, if I have to pick one, I say "Go Ravens"!
• If you ask me, there is a simple solution to this problem: select hotter cheerleaders next time.
• An obvious prank? Yes.  Still funny?  You betcha.
• Along those same lines . . .
• And, it might be a while until New Mexico State University officials have to deal with a similar problem.
• Early in the baseball season, Deadspin ran this story. His results?  A $324.34 profit.
• To hedge or not to hedge, that is the question.  Though, the answer should be fairly obvious.  [Editor's Note: I once had a $2 ten-team parlay come down to the over/under of Game 5 of the 2004 NBA Finals. Foolishly, I did not hedge my bet.]
• Just another reason for Cleveland fans to hate Cleveland.  [Editor's Note: don't they have enough already?]
• Dear Ben Roethlisberger, Commissioner Goodell already reduced your suspension to four games.  Your fake remorse is no longer necessary.  Xoxo, The Chief.
• Dedicated fan or one crazy dude?  [Editor's Note: Anyone else think this article was about Mark Dantonio, Michigan St.'s head coach, at first?]
• Pole reveals female reporters should stay out of NFL locker rooms . . . strangely, male reporters okay in Niners locker room.
• Say hello to your 2010 Tour De France champion, Andy Schleck.
• I need Verizon to get the iPhone . . . STAT!  
• You love sports. You love Saved by the Bell. Ergo, you will love this Saved by the Bell sports quiz.

 Surprising exactly none of you, the Chief when ten-for-ten on that sports quiz.  Also surprising exactly none of you, we are following up our extended set of "news" stories with an extended set of videos to really make those last few hours of your work week fly by.  And, yes, I promise we are not including the Brett Favre dong video.  You.  Are.  Welcome.

• Supwitchugirl follows up their break-out 2009 classic, "I Love My Ducks", with a sure-to-be 2010 hit, "Return of the Quack".
• This video did not go viral until after we went to print last week.  That means, you get to enjoy it all over again this week.
• Wait, what is going to happen on 10.10.10? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ON 10.10.10?!?!?!?!?
• Ever wonder what touchdown celebrations are like in the Lingerie Football League?  Pretty much exactly like you would expect.
• "The Jersey Shore RPG" . . . enough said.
• We have shown a lot of impressive soccer goals on this site.  This one may take the cake.
• Some of the writers from 30 Rock decided to make this "tribute" to John Lennon for what would have been his 70th birthday.
• Well, what would you expect with a question like that?
• Approaching lift off in three . . . two . . . ouch.

Have a great weekend everyone!

What a Week

I do not know about you all, but it is hard to believe it is Friday already. This week seemed to fly by. Between "actual" work and the many hot-button news stories circulating through the sports world, the GameTime, TBD© office was in a constant state of chaos for the better part of the week.

Between Reggie returning the Heisman, the Jets harassing a "reporter", the TEA Party high-jacking the Republican Party, and the Lions getting screwed out of win last Sunday, the stories have been coming faster than the star quarterback on prom night. [Editor's Note: Yeah, that just happened.] These stories have garnered so much attention this week, we are going to try something new with this Link Dump: not take an official position on any of them. Well, that is kind of a lie; "technically" we took a position on Bush giving back his Heisman last week. We are choosing to pass on the other three major stories for a variety of reasons, namely: (1) a position on "InesGate" is not likely to end well for the Chief when he gets home to his Better Half tonight; (B) a position on the TEA Party might end the Chief's political aspirations before they have even really begun; and (iii) we do not think today is the day we should test the word limit of Blogger by letting the Chief get going on Calvin Johnson's game-winning (non-)touchdown. So, instead, we are just going to get right to the links and let others chime in:

• I never thought I would see the day: Bill Simmons has the most reasonable take of the week on "InesGate".
• You know whose opinion I would really like to get on "InesGate"? Jenn Sterger. Yes, the woman who dressed like this as a "reporter" for the Jets and . . . oh good, she decided to open her mouth.
• Regardless of whether Megatron's catch was or was not a touchdown, I firmly believe Jim Schwartz is the coach that will return the Lions to greatness. [Editor's Note: Wait, the Lions were once great?]
• These girls or so desperate to become Lions' cheerleaders, they are willing to accept not being Lions cheerleaders.
  
• Matt Forte: last season's fantasy bust, this season's fiance bust.
• You know, when I think of Jon Gruden, I usually compare him to Forrest Gump as well. Wait, what?
• It is only week three of the college football season and we already have our "Say It Isn't So" injury of the year.
• A Denard Robinson tribute song? Some might think it is a little early in the season for that. I say "Did you see the Notre Dame/Michigan game?"
• Here is a fun slideshow on baseball's oddest injuries.
  
• If this reporter is right, the McCourt divorce is going to do more damage to the Dodgers than we previously thought.
  
• Why am I not surprised that this guy is a Walmart patron?
• Looks like John Calipari is still up to his old tricks.
• Your bizarre but true story of the week is brought to you by: [*spins wheel*] Togo.

I am not going to sugar coat it; as great as this week was for large news stories, it was equally as bad for new entertaining videos. But rest assured, our dear readers, that we have saved a few in the vault for just such an occasion:

• By now, must of you are probably familiar with this entertaining news interview. However, you probably are not as familiar with the song it inspired.
• A word of caution to all you singers out there: do not lock your knees.
• Not positive, but I think that is a touch back.
• "This is a BET spin-off, Elementary School Musical."
  
• It has been a couple of weeks, but Jimmy Kimmel was finally back with a new "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship". [Editor's Note: Really Delaware Republicans? Christine O'Donnell?]
• "Imma fry this chicken in my han'."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Those Short Weeks

It is hard to believe, but we are approaching the Fourth Anniversary of the day The Chief started GameTime, TBD©. We have not finalized any plans for this momentous occasion, but I am sure there is something in the works. I know things have not gone quite like The Chief would have hoped, but we are still fighting. I am confident he will come up with some ways to make our fifth year of service to you, our loyal readers, the best yet. In the meantime, we will keep doing what we do, and that starts with our weekly Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods, I just wanted to take a brief moment to touch upon the "Should Reggie Bush give back his Heisman Trophy?" debate that was elevated in light of this week's report by Yahoo! Sports' that the Heisman Trust was going to take it from him. Well, the Heisman Trust has since denied the report (oops . . . sorry Yahoo! Sports, can't win 'em all), but that has not stopped the debate. And, so, we figured you all would want our two cents as well. No? Well tough. This is our site and we will do whatever we want (nan-ny, nan-ny, boo, boo).

In the interest of full and fair disclosure, we are UCLA people, so we have never been too fond of Reggie Bush. He has, since day one at USC, been one of the most arrogant and selfish players out there (though, it was nice to see that arrogance bite him in the butt against Texas). We like him a lot more now that he single-handedly brought the full force of the NCAA Sanctions Committee down on the USC football program, but as a person, he still sucks. All that being said, he should get to keep his Heisman Trophy. Quoting from the Heisman Trust website (which, I remind you, is not associated with the NCAA): "the Heisman Trophy Trust of New York City, will award the annual Heisman Memorial Trophy to an individual who deserves designation as the most outstanding college football player in the United States." As much as I hate the guy, it is hard to deny that Reggie Bush was the "most outstanding college football player" in 2005. Yes, Vince Young made the USC defense look silly in the National Championship game, but over the course of the season, Reggie Bush was rather impressive. Believe you me, his 260 yards and two touchdowns against UCLA that year were not fun to watch. Yes, he violated NCAA rules. However, to the best of our knowledge, none of the extra benefits the Bush family received enhanced Reggie's performance on the field. If it turned out he was taking steroids or some other form of PEDs, then you might have a case for stripping him of his trophy. But the trophy is about on-the-field performance, not the character of the player off the field. Otherwise, the Heisman Trust better spend the time and energy doing background checks on all past winners and future winners (the NCAA would probably appreciate that). Besides, some dude named Orenthal James Simpson is still listed as the 1968 winner of the Heisman Trophy . . .

Alright, enough with that. I typed the letters "USC" three times in that paragraph and not once was it immediately followed by the letters "sucks" or immediately preceded by the letters "[expletive deleted]". Now I just feel dirty. So while I go shower off, here are some things you might have missed:

• The best 2010 NFL preview you will read.
• We have an injury report update for Week 1 of the NFL: Chris Berman (mustache) listed as awesome for Sunday's NFL Countdown.
• High-Definition Televisions 1, Ridiculously High Ticket Prices 0.
  
• Last week we talked about the return of college football and somehow failed to mention what it means: the return of the University of Oregon cheerleaders. [Editor's Note: We apologize for this inexcusable oversight. Those responsible have been identified and . . . um . . . "let go". It was for their own good.]
• Speaking of cheerleaders, the "Is it or is it not a sport?" debate continues.
  
• What is the going rate for a game-used college football jersey these days? A four-game suspension.
• Meanwhile, the NCAA kindly request you buy these non-game-used jersey so that they can exploit college athletes for even more money. Would you look at that; A.J. Green is the only number available for Georgia fans. Weird.
• Tennessee football is getting back to fundamentals.
  
• I am sorry, it costs how much?
• I smell Disney movie. You know, one where the 63-year-old fat dude is played by George Clooney and the Can-Am League is suddenly the Majors and we are told it is "based" on a true story.
• Who knew Corey Pavin (Go Bruins!) had out kicked his coverage?

[*Yelling from shower*] Still feeling dirty . . . scrubbing round five . . . enjoy these videos in my absence:

• POW! Right in the kisser. [Editor's Note: and just like that, I am hooked on The Amazing Race.]
• Sometimes, parodies are good. Sometimes, you get this.
• "At [the PGA Tour], we're better than you, and we know it."
• INCOMING!
• Warning: this video arrived in our Inbox this morning and we can not stop watching it.
• A wise blogger once said: "You can never go wrong with a clip from Wedding Crashers." Spoiler Alert: that blogger was me!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Time To Let It Out

The Chief can not decide whether he should be happy or insulted that nothing came into the GameTime, TBD© inbox inquiring about our weekly gift to the World Wide Web last week. While we are sorry we were not able to get you a Link Dump last week, Kristen Bell seemed to ease your pain nicely. But for the record, the Chief does actually agonize over the things that go on around these parts of the Internet, which is why you get the following Link Dump introduction this week:

As the deposition I [Editor's note: The Chief] was stuck on last Friday pushed on to its tenth (of 12.5 . . . happy Friday to you to) hour, I decided to zone out for a bit and take a look at some of the more recent GameTime, TBD© posts. That is when it hit me: I have really done a solid job of avoiding posting original material on here lately.

My Better Half is always trying to get me to open up more about how I am feeling, and probably for good reason. I have always played it pretty close to the chest when it comes what is going on with the big guy. I have been working on that and, while progress may be slow, it is progressing. But now I realize this same pattern of behavior has spilled over to the pages of GameTime, TBD©. You see, I started this blog for two reasons: (1) as a creative outlet from my otherwise not-so-creative-outlety job (a little mental stimulation is good for the soul), and (b) to provide the world with a little west coast regarding sports and chicks . . . but mostly sports and mostly my Los Angeles Kings. In previous years (3.5 and counting!), I was pretty successful at doing so. But that changed this year and I think I have figured out why. In previous years, the Kings were bad. And let us be honest, we are talking Whitney-Houston-Recent-Australia-Performance bad. So it was easy to make light of the situation, crack a few jokes, and tell everybody that next year is going to be different. Well, the problem is, the ever illusive "next year" has finally arrived. I have waited eight years for the "next year" to actually get here, and now that it has I have held everything in. As sad as it sounds, I have been living and dying with every game, waiting for the shoe to drop. And I have been afraid that if I start talking about it, the dream might end. But now I realize that is not fair to you, the avid reader, me, the man aging twenty years in one hockey season, or my Better Half, who nobly sits next me during every game. I also realize that I should not be afraid of what is going on, but rather, I should embrace it. So I vow to stop holding it in and finally let it out . . . as only I can (which means some pop culture references, a lot of crazy talk . . . oh, and a bunch of hot chicks). And I promise it will start with something new being produced this weekend. You. Are. Welcome.

Well, clearly I have got a lot of work to do, so I best be getting to it. So, while I go saddle up my horse (that's what she said), here are some things you might have missed from the past week or two:

• Olympians have been shown to be much more satisfied with a bronze than a silver, even though it is clearly the Jan Brady of medals.
• Note to self: Steve Williams, not a good wingman (ladies, I'm just joking . . . but seriously . . . joking . . . seriously).
• "I haven't seen Tiger since the late '90s", but that check he sent me last week to write this sure was nice.
• Bill Simmons compared Tiger's eventual comeback to that of Muhammad Ali. Want to see how it turned out?
• Here is a golf story about a girl named Kandi (yes, with a "K") and it somehow does not involve Tiger. Go figure.
• "As I stood there looking like a Roy Orbison impersonator in my specially polarized glasses, I made a mental note to call my wife and apologize for the money we'll be dropping on 3-D televisions in the next few years."
• Highlights of this story include: "DUI", "Chevrolet Equinox", "bike patrol officer", "cited and released", and "Oregon Cheerleader" . . . who can be seen here on the left.
• Kansas to Kentucky: We see your Ashley Judd, and raise you one "adult" film star.
• Perhaps the Oregon cheerleading team should steal a play out of the Texas A&M-Commerce (Casino?) football playbook.
• I do not buy it. I am fairly confident Erin Andrews is plenty used to spinning and turning in heels. [Editor's Note: Hey-OH!]
• Can someone please tell me what exactly "digital insertion with their fingers" means?
• When sports stars talk about money, it is usually just as funny as you would expect.

I always hear that "admitting you have a problem" is the first step to recovery, and I have got to tell you, I think they are right. I am super geeked right now. Just thinking about all the things I have to talk about has really got the blood flowing. Just in case those stories were not enough to get your blood flowing, these videos should help do the trick:

• My favorite part of the NFL offseason went down on Monday. Have a look.
• Wind 1, Team 0.
• Our boy from Tweet Boxx is back, but now he is laying down the law in his office. [Editor's Note: strong language.]
• I am sure by now you all know ESPN got pranked by Howard Stern's Captain Janks at Scott Van Pelt's expense. On the off chance you have not actually seen it yet, here you go.
• I think, for once, I am actually going to side with the coach.
• Douchy McDoucherson has come out of retirement . . . and he is douchier than ever.
• As my friend Barnicle put it: "It's like the best Mouse Trap game ever."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Better Late Than Never

Well, we finally got settled into our new digs and they look . . . well . . . exactly like the old ones, only, there is a lot more noise because more people are around. Hmm; I miss the island of solitude our old office provided. Can someone please remind me why we did this? Oh, right, because it was "strongly recommended" by the boss. Nevermind.

If the NHL wanted to gain some fans, they should have done whatever it took to broadcast last night's Los Angeles Kings versus Pittsburgh Penguins match up. It was one of the best hockey games I have ever seen. I was there with 18,116 of my closest friends (what can I say, I'm huge on Facebook) and Dad (I can neither confirm nor deny the truth a wager was made in which I bet one of my kidneys against whether Dad would be paying for playoff hockey tickets this season . . . don't let me down boys, I'm kinda attached to Larry and Ralph). The game featured goals on both of the teams first shots of the game, solid two-way action for the first two periods, and a third period in which the Kings absolutely took it to the defending Stanley Cup champions in a 5-2 rout. The Penguins, like several other teams (including Detroit, Philadelphia, New York, and Montreal), have a large contingency of fans no matter where they play. Not since the 2000-2001 season have I heard Kings fans drown out visiting fans like they did last night. It was the way Staples Center should be for every home game (is there an echo in here?)

Last night was not the first time I was reminded of the 2000-2001 time frame this week. I am sure you all have heard by now that the twenty-fifth ranked Orangemen of Syracuse lost to the mighty Division II Dolphins of Le Moyne on Tuesday in a college basketball exhibition game. You might not have heard, however, that UCLA tried desperately to match Syracuse's feat against NAIA "powerhouse" Concordia on Wednesday but eeked out a win in the final seconds. Well, I generally do not put too much stock into exhibition games . . . except when they occur during the 2000-2001 season and, through the transitive property of victories, result in my Occidental Tigers being crowned the National Champions of Division I basketball. In early November 2000, the gritty Tigers traveled up the I-5 to face off against Division I opponent Cal State University at Northridge (the Matadors) on their home court (the Matadome . . . yup, you read that correctly). Well, Oxy squeaked out a close victory that triggered a chain of events the likes of which have never been seen. On November 21, 2000, the Matadors traveled to UCLA and defeated the then-fifteenth ranked Bruins, 78-74. On February 3, 2001, UCLA swung by Maples Pavilion and knocked off the top-ranked Cardinal of Stanford, 79-73 (ah, Steve Lavin, your coaching never ceased to amaze me), who, on December 21, 2000, had defeated the number one ranked Duke Blue Devils, 84-83. This story, of course, would not have a point unless those Blue Devils (Duke SUCKS) had not gone and beat Arizona 82-72 on April 2, 2001 to win the Division I National Championship. So, you see, Oxy beat CSUN, who beat UCLA, who beat Stanford, who beat Duke, who won the National Championship. And that, my friends, is how the Occidental Tigers became the 2000-2001 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Champions. I think we should hang a banner.

Did I lose you there? I would not be surprised. If someone had told me that story I probably would have followed it up with my traditional response: "Cool story Hansel." If you know me, you know that is not usually a good thing. Anyways, I am sure you all loved it and have totally bought into my "transitive property of victories" theory. If you have not, kindly show yourself the door. If you have, here are some other things you might find interesting:

• Up for a challenge (and some chicks)? Try your hand at this cheerleader uniform quiz.
• Speaking of uniforms, this list is supposedly the "12 Hottest Female Sports Uniforms". However, boobs and/or nudity did not make the list, thus throwing all credibility out the window.
• Speedskating just got a whole lot more popular, satirical.
• What do you get when you place a large group of professional athletes in a city for one whole week? Answer.
• Can you imagine a world in which Gus Johnson is replaced by Dick Vitale? Welcome to your new reality.
• Dear UCF, Please find enclosed a check for $3 million. Xoxo, Michael Jordan. P.S. Sorry about my son.
  
• Aw, nobody wants to play with them.
• Sing it with me: I was gonna win the Cy Young, but then I got high.

One thing I appreciate on The Dan Patrick Show is when DP takes the time give shout outs to all the new stations that have started carrying his show. I think that is a classy move. So I decided we are going to start giving shout outs to our new dedicated fans. This week's shout outs go to BF, Q, and Cow who, after being featured in last week's Link Dump, have all become loyal GameTime, TBD© readers. Welcome aboard ladies. For you, and the rest of my dedicated readers out there, here are some clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Now that is how you earn your indefinite suspension.
• Reebok attempts to sell women's shoes by marketing to men. I am listening . . .
• Bruce Lee even plays ping pong like a bad @$$.
• Oh Magic 8 Ball, do not fail me now.
• This has to be a joke, right?
• Matti Hoyla (who?) exits the ice in style.
• I can not say I am surprised he is playing in a semi-pro league after that play.
• With the Winter Olympics less than one hundred days away, this video has started making the rounds. Certainly gets me fired up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

That Special Time of Year

Girls from Orange County, California are, on average, hotter than normal. Trust me, I married one. This class of "hotter than normal" girls can be broken down further into two sub-classes: (1) classy hot (see, e.g., my Better Half), and, well, (b) USC hot (read: sluts). A portion of my morning commute takes me past USC, and it is about this time of year that this second class of OC girls begins filling the crosswalks around the campus. Personally, I have always equated destroyed-denim miniskirts, skimpy tank tops with daddy's high school graduation gifts hanging out, and Ugg boots as early-summer outfits; these girls call them uniforms for 8:00 a.m. classes. And while these "uniforms" may be the only redeeming quality of USC as a whole, they are also the first sign that summer is over . . . and that bums me out.

I must say that I had a pretty awesome summer. With the exception of an extended rehabilitation from what should have been a simple surgical procedure, I can not think of anything to really complain about. We had great weather pretty much all summer long down here in Southern California (what else is new); I became an uncle twice over; I had a great 4th of July party/weekend with many of my friends; I got to travel for work a couple of times; I started getting my golf game back to form; my Better Half and I celebrated our first anniversary; we took an awesome vacation with my family to Aruba; and I completed my first (mini) triathlon. No, it was not the same kind of fun my friends and I used have back at the Malibu Sands Beach Club; it was more of an adult fun (*wink*), but it was fun nonetheless.

And I was not the only person to have a great summer. No sir. Just look at the summer young Matthew Stafford had:

• Drafted first overall by the Detroit Lions (against my sage advice);
• Got himself paid to the tune of six-years, $78 million, of which nearly $42 million is guaranteed (without even taking a professional snap);
• Took that new coin and invested wisely (bravo Matthew, bravo);
• Had a nice little 4th of July party of his own (my invite must have gotten lost in the mail); and
  
• Became the highest paid clipboard holder the Lions' starting quarterback.

Wait, what? Seriously? I have got to believe this decision was not actually made by Jim Schwartz. I am pretty sure his phone rang on the 6th and the conversion went something like this:

"Hey Marty [Lions' GM Martin Mayhew], how's it going?"
"Hi Jimmy, things are going well."
"Good to hear, good to hear. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I just got off the phone with Willie [Lions' owner William Clay Ford], and we both wanted to let you know how happy we are you decided to make Stafford the starting quarterback. This situation has [former-first round bust] Joey Harrington written all over it, and we couldn't be more excited."
"Um, Marty, I haven't made it public yet, but I'm going to name [veteran-quarterback] Daunte [Culpepper] the starter tomorrow. I would think you guys wouldn't want a Harrington repeat."
"Don't be silly Jimmy. We've been watching the games too and you know we can't afford to have $78 million on the sidelines in this economy . . . err . . . I mean, you know we have the best chance of winning with Stafford out there."
"Well, I guess I would have to dis. . ."
"Sorry to cut you off there Jimmy, but I've got to run. Send our congrats to Stafford."

You have got to feel bad for Schwartz. This guy is doing everything he can to right this ship, to change the culture of the organization, to [insert cliche of choice here], and it is likely his first major decision was not even one of his own. Sure, it did not help that Daunte needed eight stitches in a toe before the final preseason game, but we are talking about a team in search of its first win in over a season. As you all know, the Lions have lost 17 games in a row [Update: 18 19] (final game of 2007 season and all of the 2008 season). Here is a brief look at the Lions 2009 schedule and my predicted outcome:

Week 1: at New Orleans - LOSS (fantastic offense vs. poor defense, it's a no-brainer)
Week 2: vs. Minnesota - LOSS (when the schedule first came out, I had this as a win . . . then Favre happened)
Week 3: vs. Washington - TOSS UP (could this finally be the week? I would have this as a win with Daunte at the helm)
Week 4: at Chicago - LOSS (while the Lions might win a game this season, it won't be in the NFC North)
Week 5: vs. Pittsburgh - LOSS (did you know Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?)
Week 6: at Green Bay - LOSS (I think the Lions are oh-for-Barry-Sanders's-retirement at Lambeau Field)
Week 7: BYE (a bye is a win in my book)
Week 8: vs. St. Louis - WIN (a bad team, after a bye week, at home? Finally!)
Week 9: at Seattle - TOSS UP (will Matt Hasselbeck still be alive for this game? That will be the key)
Week 10: at Minnesota - LOSS (any chance Favre will be watching this game in his Wranglers?)
Week 11: vs. Cleveland - WIN (I'm glad we drew the AFC North this season)
Week 12: vs. Green Bay - LOSS (here's hoping the entire starting 22 of the Packers eats too much turkey the night before Thanksgiving . . . hey, they could be that stupid)
Week 13: at Cincinnati - TOSS UP (at least one thing is certain, a Bengal or two will have been arrested by this point in the season and that can't hurt our chances)
Week 14: at Baltimore - LOSS (unless the o-line is much improved this season, Stafford might lose his life here)
Week 15: vs. Arizona - LOSS (since 1997, all but 2 of the defending Super Bowl losers have failed to make the playoffs the following season . . . I'm just saying)
Week 16: at San Francisco - TOSS UP (Frank Gore will be running on stumps by this point in time, but that could still be good enough to beat the Lions . . . sad, but true)
Week 17: vs. Chicago - TOSS UP (this is the Lions' one shot to steal an NFC North game . . . assuming the Bears have clinched a playoff birth by then)

So there you go. I had the guts to call two, TWO, for-sure wins this entire season. If they can squeak out wins in fifty percent of the games I have labeled as a "toss up" (5 of them), then we are looking at a 4-and-12 or 5-and-11 (not to brag, but the Vegas over/under on Lions wins is 4.5). More importantly, if the Lions do not win that week three match-up against the Washington Redskins (Insert Name Here), it is likely their losing streak will reach . . . dear lord! . . . twenty-three games. Yes sir, in the modern era of football, we might witness a team go nearly a season-and-a-half without a win. That is nearly 22 months, or 679 days, between wins; and that is assuming they are able to beat the Rams in week eight.

My point here is this: if you were the Lions, and you were trying to turn this franchise around, would you not focus on just getting wins in 2009 season? They are not going to contend for a playoff spot, and everyone knows it. And for every Peyton Manning or Matt Ryan out there, there is a Ryan Leaf, Akili Smith, or JOEY HARRINGTON. Are we not supposed to learn from history so we do not repeat the mistakes of our past? Having seen some of the preseason action, I have soften my stance on Stafford being a bad pick; the kid has got talent and the potential to be a franchise quarterback. Still, he needs time to develop and the Lions need wins. But can we really be surprised the team is in this situation when they are run by the same guys who run Ford Motor Company? Anyone interested in going in with me on an NFL franchise? All we need is $872 million.

Regardless, summer is coming to an end (boooooo) (bah . . . hehehe), and football season has finally arrived (yay). Things are looking up for the Lions, the Bruins look to be competitive again, and the NHL and College Basketball are right around the corner. I guess it truly is that special time year.

Back With A Bang

[Editor's Note: We apologize to those of you who show up every Friday more for the fantastically witty introductions. Today's Link Dump will have a shorter introduction because (1) the Chief was stuck in court all morning and unable to finalize everything in a timely manner; (b) we have more links of note than normal; and (iii) it's the start of a long weekend and we expect that most of you do not need that much entertainment before your inevitable early departure from work.]

On Wednesday, my buddy Pong and I had the following gchat conversation:

Me: So, the college football season kicks off tomorrow.
Pong: Check is in the mail.

With the sports book account re-upped to its normal level, college football season is officially back. Putting my annual quest for supplemental income aside for the time being, it did not take long for the 2009 college football season to get the entire Blogosphere moving at the speed of sound. In fact, all it took was a right cross (and a bad Ali impersonation) from LeGarrette "Roll Me a Fatty" Blount (pronounced "blunt" for those of you not understanding the reference) at the end of last night's Oregon/Boise St. game (I would love to include a link to a video at this point, but ESPN has forced any and all posters of the video to remove it from YouTube . . . so I refuse to link to ESPN's version of the video out of principal). So now everyone from print media, television media, and the blogs is weighing on what punishment should be handed down to young Mr. Roll Me a Fatty. So, I figured GameTime, TBD© might as well jump on the bandwagon and throw in our two cents. After watching the events unfold, then rewinding the DVR and watching them a few more times, we feel: (1) it was nice of Boise St. head coach Chris Petersen to tee up his own player like that; the shot could not have been any easier from Blount; (b) while I do not condone Blount's actions, it does kind of seem like Boise St.'s Byron Hout got what he deserved; and (iii) it is funny that fans are always tough guys from behind the barricade, right up until that point when the player is about to cross over the barricade; suddenly those fans can not flee fast enough.

Does Blount deserve to be punished? Yes, of course he does. Criminally like some people are suggesting? Probably not. I expect that Blount will be sitting out at least the next three to four games, and I will be disappointed in both the University of Nike Oregon and the Pac-10 if it is anything less than that. Considering Blount was suspended by the school during the preseason, I would not be surprised if he was asked to sit out the rest of the season. Especially now that Coach Kelly laid an egg in his first game as a head coach in front of a national television audience.

Well, that is all we really have to say about the topic. More importantly, it is time for us to go make our picks for the weekend. So, while I go figure out what spreads I like (Penn St. -27.5 versus Akron in College Station? Yes please.), here are some things you might have missed to help get you to that long weekend a little faster:

• It looks like I will be seeing a match-up of Top 20 teams next week in Tennessee after all.
• College football sideline reporters are hired based on talent alone . . . talent, of course, being defined as blond hair and a healthy set of sweater kittens.
• A collection of fantastic team photos. Thank you, Deadspin.
• America's Sideline Princess returned to work last night, and Zennie Abraham (who?) is just a little suspicious about the timing of everything.
• If you can read Part I and Part II of Simmons's recounting of his most recent trip to Vegas without making comparisons to your group of friends, well then good sir, you are a better man than I.
• Looking for a way to liven up your fantasy football draft? Here is one suggestion for you.
  
• Having to sign a quarterback just for a preseason game so that your one healthy quarterback does not have to take every snap because he is your team's future? Only the Lions.
• Allow me to introduce you to the scapegoat for the 2009 Dallas Cowboys' season.
• As it turns out, Daniel Synder's bad decisions extend beyond player personnel.
• 2009 has been a great year for the Jagodzinski family.
• Apparently quarterback greatness is not hereditary.
• Headed to a game at Boise St. this season to see the blue turf? Make sure to wear the proper gang colors.
• Please UConn, think of the children.
• I am sorry, they are going to do what?
• When tackling a 14-year-old girl with a gun, recruiters would like you to remember to keep your head up and drive through your opponent.
• Where does Roger Federer stay during the U.S. Open? Why, the Roger Federer suite of course. Wait, what?
• I guess it is time to cross chess off the list of "Things People Do Better When Drunk".
  

We had to throw those last couple links in there to make sure you did not think we spent the whole week reading about football. Oh wait, that is exactly how we spent the whole week. Regardless, we will keep the football to minimum in these clips selected for your viewing pleasure:

• Those guys who make all those videos of crazy basketball shots went to summer camp this past summer. What did they do at summer camp? Made a video of crazy basketball shots.
• Unfortunately, the punching bag Blount used to train for this upcoming season does not make an appearance during this tour of the Ducks' home locker room. Looks like it is tough playing for the University of Nike Oregon.
• Fat chick + mechanical bull = predictable ending.
• Narcolepsy is not something to be joked about. Okay, maybe just this once.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Back In The Game

Sorry for last week's lack of a Link Dump (say that ten times fast). Believe you me, there are few things in this world the Chief looks forward to more than a weekend of forced interaction with his entire firm. Anywho, we are back in the game this week.

If you did not notice, the Los Angeles Lakers are back in the NBA Finals. What is that you say? You did notice? My guess is that the eleventy-billion window flags gave it away. Is there anything more annoying than a car with a Lakers window flag? Why yes, a car with a Lakers window flag on both rear windows. Two weekends ago, when I driving home from Palm Springs, I was behind a car that had two window flags on its rear window. Predictably, one of them broke off and hit my car. For a split second, I felt like running the car off the road (not mine, hers . . . it's always women . . . ), but I thought that would be letting the driver off too easy. Instead, I took solace in thought of her reaction when she reached her destination, only to discover one of her beloved window flags had broken off. Probably not a good night to be that girl's main squeeze (though, having seen her, it begs the question: is there ever a good night?).

But more annoying than window flags, is the entitlement complex most fans and the media have about "their" Lakers. They made it this far, so the championship deserves to be theirs; it is as if Boston beating them last year is the greatest travesty of the past twenty years. How are the Lakers not as hated as the Yankees? Lakers fans are just as arrogant. I mean, Orlando has made it this far, why are they not entitled to it? For starters, they clearly have the hotter cheerleaders, and you know that is worth something . . . at least in my book. I know last night's Magic performance does not help my point any, but I do not think Orlando is just going to roll over (I hope). I think they will make a series out of this yet.

Do not get me wrong, the atmosphere in Los Angeles is always great when the Lakers make the Finals, and I hope the Lakers win (after all, I can watch the parade from my office). But lets give the other guys some credit . . . and put away the damn window flags.

So, while I stare out my office window, counting window flags on the passing cars for the rest of the afternoon (if numbers actually go that high), here are some things you might have missed:

• Apparently you can "perfect your game" with Anna Kournikova. I would rather just bid for that date with May Anderson . . . after all, my game is already perfect.
• Twenty-seven points? That is about twenty-seven too many if you ask me.
• Remember those problems with the Phoenix Coyotes we talked about a few weeks ago? Well, I never, ever, ever would have seen this coming. Ever. Shocking.
• Tough decisions must be made in these tough economic times.
• Simmons doing what Simmons does best . . . ball-washing the Red Sox of course. What did you think I meant?
• So, let us see now, looks like all this kid needs to do now is break every MLB record . . . those expectations should not be tough to meet.
• Thankfully Deadspin took the time to (1) track all of SI's "Chosen Ones" and (B) track the moonshot.
• Danica Patrick says what baseball players knew fifteen years ago, takes heat.
• Sosa has hall of fame induction speech all ready to go . . . apparently forgetting that one must be inducted to give said speech.
• "You don't even see that in tee ball." Well played, sir. Well played.
• Memphis probes alleged violations about as well as it shoots free throws.
• I love you Golden State, please [don't] draft me.
• Does that come with a happy ending?
• What are the chances that Brett Favre reads soccer news?

Boy, I do not know about you, but I am still reeling from that Gretzky news (fifty-seven, fifty-eight, sixty). That is just totally unbelievable (sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy). Regardless, let us move on to the more important stuff (eighty-five, eight-six, ninety).

• "And the pigeon is no more" . . .
  
• . . . which reminds me, congrats to Randy Johnson on his 300th . . . win that is.
• In honor of the upcoming SBC movie, Bruno, here is one of the best Ali G clips of all time (or you could just go and check out the thirteen greatest Bruno moments from the show . . . slightly NSFW).
• Ouch . . . that about sums it up.
• From the Vault: what is that noise?

I think my favorite part of that Randy Johnson video (one hundred ten, one hundred eleven) is the catcher's reaction. Just watch how he bails out of there.

Have a great weekend everyone (one hundred thirty-three, one hundred thirty-four)!

What Day Is It?

[Editor's Note: the office's 28.8 dial-up modem is on the fritz this morning, so I apologize if there are any issues with this week's Link Dump. I have not been able to confirm whether are links are still active. Feel free to let me know if you come across a dead link.]

Did anyone else out there feel like this week was never going to end? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Anyone?

I do not know about you, but I thought Friday was never going to get here. So, when I woke up this morning to discover that it was, in deed, Friday, I was a little excited. Who am I kidding, I was a lot excited. And now I have all of you thinking "What does BAP have planned for the weekend?" We all have things that get us a little extra amped for the weekend, and this weekend is no exception.

Some of you out there probably have special plans for this evening. Others probably just want to celebrate the fact it is weekend. But I am amped up for a completely different reason. For starters, I am driving up to my parents tonight after work (crazy exciting, I know). The reason I am driving up is twofold: (1) I desperately need a haircut and, as a creature of habit, still go to the same stylist I have been going to since high school; and (b) I finally get to use my Boom Stick. Get your mind out of the gutter people. It is not like I am going to Senior Prom or anything. I got a new driver last weekend [2009 Taylor Made (You Hooked Up With a) Burner] and I am finally going to unleash the beast tomorrow late-morning/early-afternoon when I play a round of golf with Dad. Is it sad that I get this excited about a new golf club? Probably. But just remember, there is no better sport for sexual innuendos (in-her-end-OH?) than golf, and I know those last two sentences made you giggle just a little. No? Bummer. More importantly, I am just excited about the opportunity to spend some time with Dad. Do not get me wrong, I see my parents quite frequently, but there is something about being able to spend five hours with Coach.

So, while I am busy spending the afternoon thinking about driving my wood right down the fairway (ba-ZING), here are some things you might have missed:

• Someone took the time to write the most amazing Lions draft recap ever . . . and that someone was me.
• You would think there are better ways for Congress to spend its Friday.
• Mike Leach wants you to know how feels . . . not once, but twice (bonus points if you can spot the irony).
• Your tailgate will never be the same.
• Hey ladies, let me know if you have a birthday coming up.
• Chris Cooley continues to be one of my favorite NFL players.
• I do not care when the first round of the NFL draft is next year, from here on out, I am a NFL Network guy.
• Strange things are afoot in the desert.
• Pittsburgh and Washington will have, at most, four periods to decide game.
• With the Kentucky Derby going off this weekend, let us look back at some of the . . . err . . . "more memorable" horse names in Kentucky Derby history.
• NBA to Ohio State blogging sensation Mark Titus (of Club Trillion fame): "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
• The new (and improved?) John Daly.
• And just like that, women's' tennis is relevant again.
• A word of advice: if you are going to sleep with a teenager, it is best that you do not argue with your husband over it.
• Like, cheerleading tryouts are, like, always so dramatic and stuff (sadly, my high school was no exception)

Enough of the petty high school drama, let us get to the important stuff. Do not think I am stupid; I know the real reason you stop by every Friday. It is the videos, and I do not blame you (and I hope you enjoyed the extra two are already threw in for you):

• The world would be a better place if this was real.
• Congrats Detroit, this is the new face of your franchise.
• Padraig Harrington is fast becoming one of my favorite golfer.
• Potato Gun Baseball . . . it ends exactly as you would expect.
• As a GameTime, TBD© reader, I know you watch How I Met Your Mother and, therefore, love NPH.

Have a great weekend everyone!