In the Dark, There Is Light

As you may recall from last week's Link Dump, the Chief decided to run a little "investment" experiment with the Red Sox.  Something about betting on them to win every game I think.  In that gem of a post, he provided the following commentary:  "Worst case scenario, Red Sox start the season in a slump and early profits are not high enough to offset the losses and the nest egg dries up."  For those of you following along at home, the Red Sox have yet to win a game.  Ouch.

But the night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promised the Chief, the dawn is coming.  For starters, the "brain trust" is out today, so the Chief has already lined up wings, beer, The Masters, and the late innings of the Red Sox/Yankees game during his lunch hour.  By my calculation, that right there gives the Chief more wins than the Red Sox.

And then we thought we would help cheer up the Chief a little more with one of his favorite things: attractive women.  The Chief's dad is a very successful businessman and his role model (bare with us, we're getting to the ladies).  One strategy the Chief learned from his dad, and which he has incorporated into his running of this website, is how to make people feel like they are making decisions while actually doing what he wants.  He is sneaky like that.  It goes like this: (1) the Chief asks you your opinion on what should be done; (b) the Chief "thinks about" the options he was presented; (iii) the Chief chooses his idea.  To top it off, he is so polite about it, you do not even realize he has totally disregarded everything you said until much later.  So, what does this have to do with attractive women you ask?  Simple.  In our March Madness Link Dump, we mentioned Esquire magazine was asking its readers to help it select 2011's "Sexiest Woman Alive".  It is the second straight year they have run this NCAA tournament-style bracket.  So, in April of 2010, the readers voted Brooklyn Decker the Sexiest Woman Alive.  Not our top choice, but we would hardly complain.  And what did Esquire do? They stole a play straight out of the Chief's playbook and, in November of 2010, declared Minka Kelly the Sexiest Woman Alive.  So, this year, when they ran the 2011 "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket, they made the slight change of asking readers to help determine "your" (the reader's) Sexiest Woman Alive, meaning that, come November, we can expect them to tell us who they think the Sexiest Woman Alive is.  So, even though 30 Rock hottie Katrina Bowden pulled off the upset over defending champion Decker, we can expect someone new in November.

Now, about those attractive women.  If you have not already noticed, what we did right there is list three women; three women that, within the last twelve month, have all been named the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire.  And when there are three women in play, there is only one thing for us to do.  That is right, dear readers, it is time for GameTime, TBD©'s next installment of M-F-K: the Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Edition.  So, we would like to know who of these sexy ladies you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Minka Kelly; and (iii) Katrina Bowden.

While the Chief mulls over his options, here are some things you might have missed from the previous week:

• Some people have a lot of extra time on their hands.  We here at GameTime, TBD© appreciate when they put that extra time to good use.
• Now THIS is customer service.
• New season, new foods to take years off your life.
• Troy Tulowitzki continues to be baseball's MVP of walk-up music.
• If you are a fan of the giveaways, mark these dates on your calendar.
• That trial regarding the former NL West outfielder (no, not that trial, the other trial) is getting a little weird.
• Speaking of extra time, when you are a back-up hockey goalie, you have a lot of extra time on your hands during games.  It is good to see Marty Turco putting his time to go use as well.
• For those of you worried about how Aaron Rogers would handle the NFL lockout, he seems to be doing okay; after all, he has a date with Destiny . . . [Editor's Note:  hardy-har-har]
• We always try to give you at least one feel-good story each week.  This week, it is the story of a ring large enough to be a bracelet.
• If arrest lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention. 

Ok, the Chief has "mulled" it over and believes the answer is clear.  He loves him his blonds and fears what diseases Derek Jeter might be incubating within his jock; talk about tainted goods.  So, Minka must go.  Also, as you may recall from our last M-F-K installment, the Chief has an unnatural fear of large boobs and the damage they might cause in the throes of passion.  While he is willing to offer Brooklyn a ride, he is worried about long-term brain damage from constant blows to the head . . . wait, what? [Editor's Note: concussion and bedroom sports, it's time to get serious].  So, Brooklyn gets the [censored] of her life and is shown the door.  Which leaves him with Katrina.  I mean, just look at that butt.  How could you not want to come home to that every night? [Editor's Note: truth be told, I already do.]  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.  Speaking of winners . . . 

• You. Are. Welcome.
• Rest assured, ladies, these men DO NOT speak for everyone.
• You can always count on The Onion to tell it like it is should be.
• I know I railed against April Fools jokes last week, but this one was actually worthy of being shared. 
• This commercial is only made better by the fact the Red Sox currently sit winless.
• And the whiff.
• Floor remains undefeated in epic battle with human heads.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Public Service Announcement

Before we get to the good stuff, I just wanted to take a moment and point out the Chief got his annual Kings' Season Preview up earlier this week.  He puts an interesting spin on a classic movie moment and has some quality analysis of his boys in purple and black.  Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we generally try to avoid talking about the most obvious news stories of the week because, let us be honest, after five full news cycles, mentioning it in our Link Dump would just be beating a dead horse.  But every now and then, a story comes a long that takes a life of its own, and we can not ignore.  As we were putting the final touches on last week's Link Dump, our (second) favorite sports blog, Deadspin, was busying posting a video of Brett Favre's non-infamous voicemails and dirty texts (or "sexts" as the young folks call 'em) to Jenn Sterger, who is about as much of a report as Ines Sainz (after all, her claim to fame was dressing like this at Florida State football games).  Like any hot topic, everyone is coming out the woodwork to comment on the "barrel of worms" Deadspin opened last week.  Some we agree with, some we do not, and some are just plain funny.  But to us, the Favre dong scandal (which happens to make the nut shot Favre took in practice this week even more funny) is just another example of an alarming trend that must be stopped.

That is why we here at GameTime, TBD© have decided to start the "A.S.S." movement.  Do not adjust your screen, you read that correctly, the "A.S.S." movement, or "Athlete's Shouldn't Sext" (we're also in favor of starting another type of ass movement, but that's a topic for another time).  The fact of the matter is, Favre is just another in a long string of dong incidents involving athletes.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I have ever sent or received a suggestive text message.  But were I to have sent or received said messages, the likelihood that these messages would have been sent or received by my Better Half is very, very high (read: someone I love dearly and have been in a long-term committed relationship with).  Athletes, on the other hand, tend to sext any number of individuals ranging from current girlfriends to road beef (read: girls who are likely to want to publish them when said athlete stops calling).  There have been enough scandals in recent memory to safely say that athletes believe they are entitled to live a lifestyle different than the rest of us are expected to live and, sadly, many wives of athletes are more than willing to turn the other cheek to keep the lavish lifestyle being married to an athlete affords them.  And while it saddens me that women are willing to make such a compromise (though, it appears Deanna Favre might not be one of them), it saddens me more that every time I check out Deadspin, I run the risk the of seeing man junk.  And while I have safely navigated my way around the Favre pictures, it will probably cost me thousands of dollars in therapy sessions to erase the likes of Grady Sizemore and Leg Greg Odom from my memory.  Seriously, if I wanted to see that, I would go watch some porn (though, that might not be an option soon).

So, we here at GameTime, TBD© kindly request that you take up our cause and join the "A.S.S." movement.  Together, we can stop the image of man junk from being seared into our eyes every time an athlete crosses a fame whore.  So, while we go put together some sort of sign-up sheet for you all to sign, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• The NFL apologizes to London for choosing two crappy teams for this year's International Series game by hiring Marisa Miller as spokesperson.  Congrats, London.  [Editor's Note: While it is true that we often reference suggestive pictures of attractive models and celebrities on this site, we are keenly aware that many young women struggle with body image issues as a result of society and the media's current definition of "beauty".  That is why we fully support this effort, and vow to refrain from making such references all next week.]
• Things go from bad to downright embarrassing for Tom Brady's hair.
• Well, this certainly is a first for the Lions.
• "And countless others will be home watching NBC with their porch lights off so they won't be bothered while the game is on."  If only someone would invent some sort of device that would . . . oh, I don't know . . . allow people to pause live television or something.  That just might save Halloween for the children of New Orleans.  [Editor's Note: Also, "The Treat Dats"? Really?]
• It turns out the Baltimore Ravens organization is not a fan of chicks being awesome.
• Remember that Delaware gambler from last week?  Apparently he missed the Sports Betting 101 class where they discussed how to properly hedge your bet.
• The second biggest story of the week (behind you-know-what) was the former-agent tell all in this week's Sports Illustrated. If you are not a subscriber to the magazine, here is the story.
•  If you are eating or have eaten recently, you might want to skip this story.
• Two things about Ole Miss's new mascot:  (1) ironically, the only bear native to Mississippi is the Louisiana Black Bear; and (ii) I suppose Rebel Black Bear fought for slavery and states' rights.  It is somewhat uninspiring to take your inspiration from the losing side in a war, is it not?
• You stay classy Internet commentors.
• What? LeBron James merchandise is not selling well in Cleveland? SHOCKING!
• Dear A.J. Burnett, The word "simulated" in "Simulated Game" is not meant to be taken literally.  Xoxo, Your Teammates.
• Sara Saco-Vertiz, who first stole your heart in the classic love story "I Got Hit By A Foul Ball in Houston When My Then-Boyfriend Dove for Cover", is back in the news.
• Roy Oswalt; good pitcher, better interview bomber.
• A table tennis story that does not suck.  Go figure.

Wow, I did not realize how much good stuff went down [Editor's Note: that's what she said!] this week because of all the coverage Brett Favre's dong was getting.  That is why we really hope our "A.S.S." movement gains some momentum sooner rather than later.  Speaking of movement, here are some moving picture, commonly referred to as "video", clips we thought might make your Friday a little better:

• Ever wonder what it would be like to parachute in with the game ball in front of huge crowd?  Turns out it would be pretty freakin' awesome.
• Some scientists did a study on my life and The Onion is here with the results.
• Your "Fail of the Week" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . . click click click click . . . click click click . . . click click . . . click]: Guy Mounting Elephant!
• I flunked out of sign language class. Can someone please translate for me?
• We have long been a fan of Steve Nash's ability to make great videos.  His recent commercials for FIFA Soccer 11 with Landycakes are no exception.  So here are parts one and two.
• This one goes out to all my readers who are also San Francisco Giants fans . . . all two of you.
• I always knew Dora was a slut.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Those Short Weeks

It is hard to believe, but we are approaching the Fourth Anniversary of the day The Chief started GameTime, TBD©. We have not finalized any plans for this momentous occasion, but I am sure there is something in the works. I know things have not gone quite like The Chief would have hoped, but we are still fighting. I am confident he will come up with some ways to make our fifth year of service to you, our loyal readers, the best yet. In the meantime, we will keep doing what we do, and that starts with our weekly Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods, I just wanted to take a brief moment to touch upon the "Should Reggie Bush give back his Heisman Trophy?" debate that was elevated in light of this week's report by Yahoo! Sports' that the Heisman Trust was going to take it from him. Well, the Heisman Trust has since denied the report (oops . . . sorry Yahoo! Sports, can't win 'em all), but that has not stopped the debate. And, so, we figured you all would want our two cents as well. No? Well tough. This is our site and we will do whatever we want (nan-ny, nan-ny, boo, boo).

In the interest of full and fair disclosure, we are UCLA people, so we have never been too fond of Reggie Bush. He has, since day one at USC, been one of the most arrogant and selfish players out there (though, it was nice to see that arrogance bite him in the butt against Texas). We like him a lot more now that he single-handedly brought the full force of the NCAA Sanctions Committee down on the USC football program, but as a person, he still sucks. All that being said, he should get to keep his Heisman Trophy. Quoting from the Heisman Trust website (which, I remind you, is not associated with the NCAA): "the Heisman Trophy Trust of New York City, will award the annual Heisman Memorial Trophy to an individual who deserves designation as the most outstanding college football player in the United States." As much as I hate the guy, it is hard to deny that Reggie Bush was the "most outstanding college football player" in 2005. Yes, Vince Young made the USC defense look silly in the National Championship game, but over the course of the season, Reggie Bush was rather impressive. Believe you me, his 260 yards and two touchdowns against UCLA that year were not fun to watch. Yes, he violated NCAA rules. However, to the best of our knowledge, none of the extra benefits the Bush family received enhanced Reggie's performance on the field. If it turned out he was taking steroids or some other form of PEDs, then you might have a case for stripping him of his trophy. But the trophy is about on-the-field performance, not the character of the player off the field. Otherwise, the Heisman Trust better spend the time and energy doing background checks on all past winners and future winners (the NCAA would probably appreciate that). Besides, some dude named Orenthal James Simpson is still listed as the 1968 winner of the Heisman Trophy . . .

Alright, enough with that. I typed the letters "USC" three times in that paragraph and not once was it immediately followed by the letters "sucks" or immediately preceded by the letters "[expletive deleted]". Now I just feel dirty. So while I go shower off, here are some things you might have missed:

• The best 2010 NFL preview you will read.
• We have an injury report update for Week 1 of the NFL: Chris Berman (mustache) listed as awesome for Sunday's NFL Countdown.
• High-Definition Televisions 1, Ridiculously High Ticket Prices 0.
  
• Last week we talked about the return of college football and somehow failed to mention what it means: the return of the University of Oregon cheerleaders. [Editor's Note: We apologize for this inexcusable oversight. Those responsible have been identified and . . . um . . . "let go". It was for their own good.]
• Speaking of cheerleaders, the "Is it or is it not a sport?" debate continues.
  
• What is the going rate for a game-used college football jersey these days? A four-game suspension.
• Meanwhile, the NCAA kindly request you buy these non-game-used jersey so that they can exploit college athletes for even more money. Would you look at that; A.J. Green is the only number available for Georgia fans. Weird.
• Tennessee football is getting back to fundamentals.
  
• I am sorry, it costs how much?
• I smell Disney movie. You know, one where the 63-year-old fat dude is played by George Clooney and the Can-Am League is suddenly the Majors and we are told it is "based" on a true story.
• Who knew Corey Pavin (Go Bruins!) had out kicked his coverage?

[*Yelling from shower*] Still feeling dirty . . . scrubbing round five . . . enjoy these videos in my absence:

• POW! Right in the kisser. [Editor's Note: and just like that, I am hooked on The Amazing Race.]
• Sometimes, parodies are good. Sometimes, you get this.
• "At [the PGA Tour], we're better than you, and we know it."
• INCOMING!
• Warning: this video arrived in our Inbox this morning and we can not stop watching it.
• A wise blogger once said: "You can never go wrong with a clip from Wedding Crashers." Spoiler Alert: that blogger was me!

Have a great weekend everyone!

I We Todd Did

It was a banner night in the GameTime, TBD© house last Friday night. My Better Half flew the coop and head off to San Diego for a "girls weekend", leaving me all alone as the king of my castle. Unfortunately, the plans for my big group orgy fell through, so that left my calendar pretty open. As you know, I was fully prepared to watch Coco host The Tonight Show for the last time, but how I was going to pass the time before it started was a complete mystery. Well, as life often does, the answer became clear the minute I got home.

For starters, my Better Half had ever so nicely sorted the dirty laundry in the bedroom. Now, I am not nearly as smart as she is, so it took me a while to decipher the code, which, as it turns out, was "Do the laundry." But laundry is not something that requires constant attention (unless sitting in your garage and watching a machine shake is entertaining to you . . . but then, I'd assume you're not reading this blog . . . but I digress), so I needed something to pass the time while the washing machine worked its magic. And that is when I saw it, right there on my DirecTV channel guide: the season finale of Jersey Shore. One word: UH-MAZING! I had never watched any of the season, but had heard plenty about it from the likes of BFF and Barnicle, one of my oldest friends. Barnicle had even hosted a Jersey Shore season finale viewing party the night before. As the show progressed, I could literally feel the brain cells in my head dying off. Then, out of nowhere, J-Woww (an actual character nickname) described her ideal man as a "juice-head gorilla", and when she went to the beach to find her some man meat, she inquired "Where are all the juice-head gorillas?" And that was when it happened, my IQ took a fifty point hit; that, and I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, I stuck around for Jersey Shore: The Reunion. I mean, who does not need to learn about the art of fist pumping? This is serious people, the beat wants to fight you so you have to beat the beat up. To think, for the longest time, I thought this was a big spoof; now I know it is real.

What I am trying to say is this: if I seem M.I.A. for the next week or so, do not be afraid. It just means my daily G.T.L. schedule has gotten the best of me. Speaking of which, I am running a little late on the daily schedule. So, while I head out to get my G.T.L. on, here are some things you might have missed to keep you entertained (and smart) for the rest of the afternoon:

• If you had Ray Maualuga in the "Next Cincinnati Bengal to Get Arrested" pool, you may collect your winnings now. Pays double if you also had "DUI in a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire."
• If you see this man in or around the Miami area on February 7, 2010, please contact your local police station. He may be rocking out a great set list.
• "Saintsmania" has permeated the city? EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES (or just take the week off).
• "This is not Detroit, man. THIS IS THE SUPER BOWL." Yes, I am offended (not really).
• I heard his wife had already bought the shears.
• Three words I never thought I would write together: transgender sodomy lawsuit.
• If you are lucky, this man will be playing for your NFL team come next season. Congratulations.
• The SEC is not a fan of fans who love their schools in moments of great triumph.
• Talk about one of your all-time backfires. [Editor's Note: Make sure to watch the video as well, and then check out what happened while the news reporter was filming his intro to the story.]
• This is a story of a cursed high school hockey rink.
• Not too long ago, Charlie Davies was lucky to be alive. Now, it is possible he will be back with the national team in time for the 2010 World Cup.
• Meanwhile, this guy probably will not make it to South Africa this summer.
• It always comes full circle with sex offenders.
• I am sorry, Jim Nantz said what?

Seriously people, one week of G.T.L. and I am feeling swolle' and looking good. All I need is some 'roids so I can complete my transformation to juice-head gorilla; just the man my Better Half has always wanted. Now, I just need to get my hair cut so I can load it up with twenty pounds of gel. I do not want it flopping around while I am out at the clubs beating up the beat. So, while I try to find my local Guido Cuts, you should enjoy this collection of clips for your viewing pleasure:

• I hope, for your sake, your college does not have to play the mighty Nanooks of Alaska, Fairbanks this season.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, I have found myself wondering what it would be like to compete in the Skeleton. Oh look, the answer.
• A decently funny Lonely Island spoof. Never thought it could happen.
• I am sorry, they have tremendous what?
• I am thankful there are people out there with may too much free time on their hands.
• Perhaps all celebration music should be this great. Oh yeah, nice goal too.
• And, yes, we can not have a post about Jersey Shore without one or two shockingly accurate representations of what the show is all about.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Look What I Found

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we strive to bring you not only entertaining original work and weekly news, but also inside scoops that might not be available elsewhere.

I was enjoy lunch at my office desk last Friday, reminiscing about the fabulous Link Dump we had completed earlier in the day, when I nearly choked on my sandwich [Subway, eat fresh]. I had swung by ESPN.com to see if anything exciting had occurred and Chris Mortensen was reporting that Pete Carroll was leaving USC for the open Seattle Seahawks coaching position. I will admit, I was a little surprised when the Seahawks fired Jim Mora, Jr. after only one year, and it made sense that they would only fire him if they had someone lined up already, so I could see the validity in the Mort Report's . . . err . . . report. But I believe an ESPN scoop about as often as I believe the hot bartender is actually hitting on me and not just working for a bigger tip [read: not often]. Plus, these Pete-Carroll-to-the-NFL rumors happen every year and, as a UCLA fan, I have gotten tired of hoping he makes yet another bonehead decision and actually leaves for the NFL. But when I head Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News' Inside USC claim, while it was not official (because Seattle still had to comply with the "Rooney Rule" . . . is there any bigger sham in the NFL than the "Rooney Rule"? . . . what a joke . . . but I digress, something for another day), Carroll to Seattle was a "done deal".

Even though I am a UCLA guy, I, like everyone else in Southern California, know more than a few people who attended USC. Some of them annoy me to no end, while others are actually decent human beings. One such person is my buddy TR. He is one of those rare USC alums who, while a die hard fan, is down to earth and can talk evenly about SC and UCLA (like I said, rare). He, like many of the educated, knew Pete Carroll was a . . . err . . . not nice person, but put up with it because they were winning. TR is also a guy who always knows someone. Need tickets to something? TR can get them. Want to get into the newest and hottest club? Not a problem for TR. We all have a friend like this. So when the news broke, I immediately sent TR a text to see (1) how he was doing, and (b) what, if anything, he had heard from inside the USC Athletic Department. He, like most SC football fans, was praying it was not true but promised to get back to me once he talked to his "guy in the athletic department". Well, as promised, I received an email yesterday with some interesting details. This whole thing is one big power play pulled by the Board of Trustees, who are fed up with the job Mike Garrett has done. Here is the text of the entire email fromTR's "guy in the athletic department":

"Here is exactly what is happening, in a nutshell:

The early success of Pete Carroll ["PC"] created a chain reaction at USC. Whereas before, Mike Garrett was extremely hands-on in his treatment of football, he decided to let PC run the show without any interference. Further up the food chain, the University gave Garrett free rein to give PC free rein.

PC had unprecedented control of the football program. He often talked about that fact as why it was superior to being in the NFL. He could get any player he wanted into school, he raised funds for his own projects, he decided who his staff would and wouldn't be, he pushed for upgrades to facilities, he did everything in his style, with no restrictions, etc., etc., etc.

Over the course of time, there were issues. Players acting like fools (as they often do), investigations, PR embarrassments, etc. Individually, they were able to be handled without any problems. But over time, their accumulation started to create a perception that PC wasn't in control of things and that, indeed, NO ONE was in control.

Now, when [former basketball coach Tim] Floyd was hired, Garrett (in his infinite wisdom), decided to take the same hands-off approach with basketball. His [theory] was that if you leave your coaches alone, they'll succeed. As a result, there was zero oversight over basketball, as with football. Of course, this came back to bite Garrett on the ass, as Floyd (left to his own devices) got the program into trouble.

This is when the Board of Trustees started having enough and started demanding that Garrett re-assert his control over these two sports. Then, a few other PC pecadillos hit the grapevine and by the time the McKnight story hit, the University was well on its way to going over Garrett's head to take back control of what they saw as an out-of-control situation. This is why you saw University PR and legal handling Floyd's issue and McKnight's issue.

As all this happened, a movement started growing among the Trustees to use this whole process to get rid of Garrett and replace him with someone like [former USC quarterback and current Trustee] Pat Haden. Garrett did not have control of his coaches and his coaches were embarrassing the University. [Garrett] was brought into [USC President Steven B.] Sample's office at one point and Sample ripped him a new asshole. Garret, in an effort to show he had control, started getting involved in football and basketball and the [transition has] not been good as PC hasn't had to deal with Garrett butting in for most of the last eight years.

In the end, PC left because his most coveted possession--total control--was on the way out. He would've no longer been able to get whoever he wanted into school, he was going to have to relinquish control over how he did some things and there was going to be meddling over who could be on his staff and what kind of discipline would be instilled over the program.

Feelers started coming to PC during the season and when the offer from Seattle finally came, he took it. Simple as that. It was, in his mind, the best option available to him as he would no longer be able to be himself (as he saw it) at USC. Furthermore, it is in his nature to want to compete and proving himself at his true love--the NFL--has always been in his heart.

There will be some dirty laundry aired in the next few months. [Editor's Note: As Yahoo! Sports is reporting, the NCAA has concluded it's investigation of the USC Athletic Department (focusing on football and basketball), and this same guy has assured us sanctions are coming (likely in the spring) and they will be "disastrous".] But that is really not the reason PC left (though a lot of things contributed to the effort of the University to take back control)."

Take what you will from that email, but I thought I would at least share some of my thoughts: (1) I do not care what people say, the pending sanctions absolutely had something to do with Carroll's decision to leave; (b) if we needed any additional evidence that Carroll is a douche, I think we have it; and (iii) it appears time for Mike Garrett to update his resume.

It will be interesting to see what comes of USC's coaching search. There are already reports that the search is in the hands of Pat Haden and Trustee Chair Ed Roski, not Mike Garrett, and the pending sanctions against the program and/or athletic department will not make it any easier. A lot of names are already floating around (TR is begging for Boise State's Chris Peterson, but I don't see him leaving the friendly confines of the smurf turf with all that is going on at USC with NCAA and the fact Boise St. has a legitimate shot at the national title next season). Although he is denying it, my money is on former-USC linebacker Jack Del Rio. I know he has fifteen million reasons to stay with Jacksonville, but, as noted in last week's Link Dump, his job is not exactly secure at this point in time. I would not be surprised to see some financial settlement occur, whereby Del Rio "resigns" from the Jacksonville coaching position (a man has to keep his dignity) and becomes the new coach of the USC Trojans. So, I would like offer this one piece of advice to Mr. Del Rio when he begins his formal negotiations with USC: do not forget to ask for the house on The Strand.

[Editor's Note: here's your fun fact for the day: Mark McGwire (yes, that Mark McGwire) played baseball for USC from 1981 to 1984. The starting catcher those years? Why, that would be none other than Jack Del Rio. Grab a napkin, homie. You just got served . . . with knowledge.]

General Comings and Goings

It was a pretty slow week around the GameTime, TBD© office so I thought it would be best to give you all just a general update on a few things going on around here and then get right to the good stuff. Any objections? Hearing none, away we go.

You may recall a few weeks back when I, the Chief, vowed to get some things in my life back on track. Well, I certainly have been working on some new original content, some of which is up already, some of which is yet to come. I did, however, have to talk myself off the ledge earlier this week after my (Lefty McLefterson) Better Half and I had one of our typical dinner discussions. Of course, most of you would call these heated political debates, but it was business as usual for the Democrat and Republican who found love (can you say modern-day Romeo & Juliet . . . of course, without the [Editor's Note: spoiler alert for high school freshman] part where everyone dies at the end . . . which I guess would make the whole book pretty anti-climactic . . . cancel that idea . . . but I digress). It would also come as no surprise that this week's discussion centered mainly on health care. The details are not important, but let us just say that you all almost got an ear full about where Nancy Pelosi can gently place the bill she somehow got through the House.

I also wanted you to know that the quest to get back into high school shape is going pretty well. The streak of days working out reached twenty one (I'll stay) before a couple lazy mornings and evening family events brought it to an end earlier this week. I am already more than a few pounds lighter, feeling good, and the new streak already stands at three. One thing I have noticed, however, is that after twenty one straight days, it is definitely time for a new mix on the workout iPod (yes, I have an iPod just for the gym and one for everyday life, which currently has Akon telling me why it "Don't Matter", the theme to my modern day R&J remake . . . again with the digression, what is wrong with me today?). With that being said, I turn to you, my avid readers, for suggestions on songs to download and add to the iPod. I prefer upbeat stuff and it can be of any variety. I have a fairly large collection of music already but am more than willing to spend a few bucks on iTunes for the right songs.

But do not go rushing off to your iPods and iTunes (or other non-Apple music products) too fast. There is a reason you stopped by on this lovely Friday afternoon and I have not gotten there yet. So, without further adieu, here are some things you might have missed:

• Who will be performing the Super Bowl halftime show. No, that is not the question. The question is: will Tori Praver be there in her painted-on Who t-shirt?
• Montana puts Sonoma home on market. Idaho selling Napa estate.
• "Sometimes I love Ochocinco so much it hurts."
  
• There is no captain in the National Football League.
• Bill Self likes big butts; can not lie.
• CC Sabathia can be a teammate of mine any day of the week and twice on Sunday (but only if he brings the drinks).
• Want to know what this week's NCAA Football schedule has in store for you? Here are some charts and graphs to help.
• San Diego State's athletic director uses school funds to get his mack on, increase divorce rate. You stay classy San Diego.
  
• Please Jenn, think of the children.
• Remember that running shorts cost school state title link we ran a few weeks back? Well, another odd rule has derailed a team's title hopes yet again.
• "Female ski jumpers mount final appeal" (that's what she said . . . ba-ZING!).
• I hope my Better Half is not reading this, otherwise there will not be much of a surprise come Christmas.

No Usher, I will not "Make Love in this Club" with you. What kind of man do you take me for? I will readily admit that I would kill a man to have abs like yours, but I will . . . wait a sec, are we back? I hope no one read that. Boy that would be embarrassing. Moving on, let us get to the good stuff, like Usher's stomach . . . err, I mean . . . the several clips we have compiled this week for your viewing pleasure:

• A YouTube video with 6.6 million views does not usually escape my attention for a year. If you have already seen this John Williams' tribute, do yourself a favor and watch it again anyways.
• If every game was called by Marv Albert or Gus Johnson, I would be in heaven (wait a sec, am I dead? [*runs into door*] Ouch. Nope, not dead; just in need of some ice.)
• Chimpin' ain't easy.
• I would Hochdorfer their bikes. [Editor's Note: what does that even mean?]
• You may recall last year when we linked you to "Little Jovi" of Rutgers football fame. Well, last night Mr. L.J. probably had his first . . . um . . . "man experience", compliments of Erin Andrews.
• They are both considering foregoing their last year of eligibility to go pro.
• Richmond's announcers go from zero to bitter faster than my ex-girlfriend. [Editor's Note: nothing like an "F" bomb on live television; might want to keep the speakers low.]
• Dear country, You rock. That being said, please do not think Carrie Prejean is an accurate representation of California as a whole. To recap: dumb, crazy blonds with fake tits, yes; California as a whole, no. Best regards, The Chief

Have a great weekend everyone!

Back in the Saddle

Check . . . check . . . check 1. Sibilance . . . sibilance. Check . . . check . . . check 2. Sibilance . . . sibilance. Okay, good. It looks like we have everything back up and running. It is good to be back in the saddle of GameTime, TBD©. I apologize that I had to go dark for such an extended period of time.

I was finally able to make an honest woman out of my Better Half and what does she do? That is right, she "forces" me to go off and spend two weeks with her in French Polynesia (Tahiti, Moorea, and Huahine). Oh, the humanity. I do not know how I survived two weeks of lounging around in the sun with a beautiful woman, drinking beer, without a care in the world. Oh, and my wife was there too (sorry for the obvious joke, I'm a little rusty). French Polynesia is truly a beautiful place; we did not want to leave. Take my advice, if you are planning a vacation and want to go someplace tropical, you can not go wrong with the Society Islands.

So after two great weeks, I was relaxed and in a good place physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I was ready to get back to my responsibilities to you, the avid GameTime, TBD© reader. Well, unfortunately it only took work about .01 seconds to knock those good vibes right out of me, a feeling I know to which Milorad Cavic can totally relate. I never realized how much work can pile up on a desk in two weeks. And while I still have a few piles to get to, I was not going to let work keep me from finally getting back to something I love so much: GameTime, TBD© and its weekly link dump. Sure, I might have taken a little detour to the UCLA-Tennessee game; had a chance encounter with my hero, Dan Patrick (I haven't washed my right hand since Monday); sat through two fantasy football drafts; and made a few wagers on college foo . . . err . . . I mean . . . found a source of supplemental income, but here I am, back in the saddle and ready to let you know about some of the things you might have missed over the past week:

[Disclaimer: with the start of college football and the NFL, all of this week's links are related to football, and I'm not talking about that strange style of football they play in Europe.]

• In preparing for the Detroit Lions' season, I discovered that things might be looking up . . .
• . . . but then I remembered that Matt Millen is still our team president . . .
  
• . . . and our new runningback's underwear was stolen by the guy he is replacing. Oh the joys of being a Lions fan.
• FanIQ dares to ask the question: which cheerleaders are better, NCAA or NFL? (Though I question FanIQ's choice of the USC Song Girls as California's representative as opposed to GameTime, TBD© favorite Brianna and the UCLA cheerleaders.)
• Under the category of "shocking", Tennessee fans are not too pleased with phat Phil.
• Two stadiums, eight miles apart; its a fifty-fifty chance that the skydivers pick the right stadium. Let us see how it turns out.
• I used to idolize The Sports Guy; he is after all the reason I started this blog. But then he kind of got too big for himself and lost touch with who he really is. It is nice to see him return to form, if but only for a minute, in his NFL predictions.
• And what would football season be without mentioning Ryan Leaf? After reading this article ask yourself this: do I feel better about Ryan Leaf or sorry for myself?

As for your viewing entertainment, I am taking a risk and blending sports with politics. Okay, I guess it is not really a risk since sports and politics have mixed well for many years now. So, in honor of my party choosing a former-sportscaster as its vice-presidential candidate, here are some great moments in sportscasting history, with a little weather mixed in for fun:

• There is a theory that, in this day-and-age, once something is put on the internet it can never be completely destroyed. Therefore, my sincerest apologies to the Republican Party; try as you might, this Sarah Palin sportscast is not going anywhere. And trust me when I say, we are all better off because of it.
• Somewhere my Better Half is laughing because she knows I probably would have reacted the same way.
• Your first time never goes the way you dreamed it would.
• Brian Collins would like to remind you that "Boom Goes the Dynamite".

It really is good to be back. We will get the ball rolling on some new original content here shortly. In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!