Before we get to the good stuff, I just wanted to take a moment and point out the Chief got his annual Kings' Season Preview up earlier this week. He puts an interesting spin on a classic movie moment and has some quality analysis of his boys in purple and black. Do yourself a favor and check it out.
Here at GameTime, TBD©, we generally try to avoid talking about the most obvious news stories of the week because, let us be honest, after five full news cycles, mentioning it in our Link Dump would just be beating a dead horse. But every now and then, a story comes a long that takes a life of its own, and we can not ignore. As we were putting the final touches on last week's Link Dump, our (second) favorite sports blog, Deadspin, was busying posting a video of Brett Favre's non-infamous voicemails and dirty texts (or "sexts" as the young folks call 'em) to Jenn Sterger, who is about as much of a report as Ines Sainz (after all, her claim to fame was dressing like this at Florida State football games). Like any hot topic, everyone is coming out the woodwork to comment on the "barrel of worms" Deadspin opened last week. Some we agree with, some we do not, and some are just plain funny. But to us, the Favre dong scandal (which happens to make the nut shot Favre took in practice this week even more funny) is just another example of an alarming trend that must be stopped.
That is why we here at GameTime, TBD© have decided to start the "A.S.S." movement. Do not adjust your screen, you read that correctly, the "A.S.S." movement, or "Athlete's Shouldn't Sext" (we're also in favor of starting another type of ass movement, but that's a topic for another time). The fact of the matter is, Favre is just another in a long string of dong incidents involving athletes. I can neither confirm nor deny that I have ever sent or received a suggestive text message. But were I to have sent or received said messages, the likelihood that these messages would have been sent or received by my Better Half is very, very high (read: someone I love dearly and have been in a long-term committed relationship with). Athletes, on the other hand, tend to sext any number of individuals ranging from current girlfriends to road beef (read: girls who are likely to want to publish them when said athlete stops calling). There have been enough scandals in recent memory to safely say that athletes believe they are entitled to live a lifestyle different than the rest of us are expected to live and, sadly, many wives of athletes are more than willing to turn the other cheek to keep the lavish lifestyle being married to an athlete affords them. And while it saddens me that women are willing to make such a compromise (though, it appears Deanna Favre might not be one of them), it saddens me more that every time I check out Deadspin, I run the risk the of seeing man junk. And while I have safely navigated my way around the Favre pictures, it will probably cost me thousands of dollars in therapy sessions to erase the likes of Grady Sizemore and Leg Greg Odom from my memory. Seriously, if I wanted to see that, I would go watch some porn (though, that might not be an option soon).
So, we here at GameTime, TBD© kindly request that you take up our cause and join the "A.S.S." movement. Together, we can stop the image of man junk from being seared into our eyes every time an athlete crosses a fame whore. So, while we go put together some sort of sign-up sheet for you all to sign, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:
- The NFL apologizes to London for choosing two crappy teams for this year's International Series game by hiring Marisa Miller as spokesperson. Congrats, London. [Editor's Note: While it is true that we often reference suggestive pictures of attractive models and celebrities on this site, we are keenly aware that many young women struggle with body image issues as a result of society and the media's current definition of "beauty". That is why we fully support this effort, and vow to refrain from making such references all next week.]
- Things go from bad to downright embarrassing for Tom Brady's hair.
- Well, this certainly is a first for the Lions.
- "And countless others will be home watching NBC with their porch lights off so they won't be bothered while the game is on." If only someone would invent some sort of device that would . . . oh, I don't know . . . allow people to pause live television or something. That just might save Halloween for the children of New Orleans. [Editor's Note: Also, "The Treat Dats"? Really?]
- It turns out the Baltimore Ravens organization is not a fan of chicks being awesome.
- Remember that Delaware gambler from last week? Apparently he missed the Sports Betting 101 class where they discussed how to properly hedge your bet.
- The second biggest story of the week (behind you-know-what) was the former-agent tell all in this week's Sports Illustrated. If you are not a subscriber to the magazine, here is the story.
- If you are eating or have eaten recently, you might want to skip this story.
- Two things about Ole Miss's new mascot: (1) ironically, the only bear native to Mississippi is the Louisiana Black Bear; and (ii) I suppose Rebel Black Bear fought for slavery and states' rights. It is somewhat uninspiring to take your inspiration from the losing side in a war, is it not?
- You stay classy Internet commentors.
- What? LeBron James merchandise is not selling well in Cleveland? SHOCKING!
- Dear A.J. Burnett, The word "simulated" in "Simulated Game" is not meant to be taken literally. Xoxo, Your Teammates.
- Sara Saco-Vertiz, who first stole your heart in the classic love story "I Got Hit By A Foul Ball in Houston When My Then-Boyfriend Dove for Cover", is back in the news.
- Roy Oswalt; good pitcher, better interview bomber.
- A table tennis story that does not suck. Go figure.
Wow, I did not realize how much good stuff went down [Editor's Note: that's what she said!] this week because of all the coverage Brett Favre's dong was getting. That is why we really hope our "A.S.S." movement gains some momentum sooner rather than later. Speaking of movement, here are some moving picture, commonly referred to as "video", clips we thought might make your Friday a little better:
- Ever wonder what it would be like to parachute in with the game ball in front of huge crowd? Turns out it would be pretty freakin' awesome.
- Some scientists did a study on my life and The Onion is here with the results.
- Your "Fail of the Week" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . . click click click click . . . click click click . . . click click . . . click]: Guy Mounting Elephant!
- I flunked out of sign language class. Can someone please translate for me?
- We have long been a fan of Steve Nash's ability to make great videos. His recent commercials for FIFA Soccer 11 with Landycakes are no exception. So here are parts one and two.
- This one goes out to all my readers who are also San Francisco Giants fans . . . all two of you.
- I always knew Dora was a slut.
