It is one of those days. When we arrived in the office, we had a decision to make: was today's Link Dump going to be (1) heavy on intro, short on links; or (b) short on intro, heavy on links? We decided on the latter. Do not get me wrong, I have no shortage of love for my own writing; I love me some me. But GameTime, TBD©, is not about me. This site is for you, my avid readers, which is why we always encourage you to contact us with anything and everything you would like see done around here.
We have to be short on the intro because, as can happen from time-to-time, actual work in getting the way. While we would have loved to dive into the LeBron love fest that went down last night on the Evil Empire, time is not on our side today. But we do have time to squeeze in a few quick comments. First, I love that ESPN got out-scoped on LeBron's choice by both Stephen A. Smith (on June 28th), and former-hockey writer/current-Knicks writer Marc Berman of the New York Post (early morning of July 8th). Say what you will about Screamin' A., but that man did not hedge against his sources and was willing to go down with the ship. Second, LeBron, if "loyalty" and "unfinished business" were two of the main factors you considered in making this decision, you should have clarified that you were being loyal to yourself, and that you personally had unfinished business, otherwise you would still be a Cleveland Cavalier. As this whole process has shown, LeBron is a lot more self-centered than we all once thought. But he made that perfectly clear when he talked about not having to share the spotlight with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, but rather each player having their own spotlight. And here I always thought basketball was a team game.
One last note, if you happen to be in the Chief's presence anytime soon, I strongly recommend not mentioning the words "Ilya Kolvachuk". Kolvachuk and Kings' GM Dean Lombardi are still dancing the free agency dance. The Kings have been in and out of the negotiations more times than the guy that took the head cheerleader to prom (HEY-OH!). I think the Chief has aged about five years in the past week. But if you have about three hours to spare, want to see some post-4th of July fireworks, and are in the presence of the Chief, go ahead and mention it. We double dog dare you.
Well, that was a little more of an intro than we anticipated. But like I said, I love me some me. I am the LeBron James of GameTime, TBD©. So while I go plan my own hour-long television special, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:
- FHM readers voted Marisa Miller the "Sexiest Woman in the World". No. Argument. Here.
- Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler finally got what they have long deserved.
- This headline says it all about the Matt Millen era. From this, Deadspin decided to put together a fun little game.
- Now that LeBron has officially screwed over Cleveland, I think it is time the real story come out. Who is with me?
- If you have not read Dan Gilbert's open letter to Cleveland Cavaliers fans, here is your chance.
- Death threats against Paul the Octopus? Man, the World Cup just got real.
- How seriously do the Dutch take soccer? Apparently their loss in the 1974 final "has often been compared to the assassination of JFK on America".
- This sounds like a scene out of Road House . . . only, Patrick Swayze would have come out ahead in his 1-on-10 Tennessee football players brawl.
- Dick Vitale has taken up residence in Cameron Indoor Arena until at least 2022. Congrats to you, Duke.
- Rick Reilly's bromance with Lance Armstrong continues.
- "Even sniffing glue calls Purple Drank stupid."
- Is it too early to call this the "Headline of the Century"?
Okay, since I took too long with the intro, we are skipping any witty banter (Ilya Kolvachuk), and moving right into (Ilya Kolvachuk) a set of clips sure to make your Friday afternoon (Ilya Kolvachuk . . . man, if you could only see the Chief's face right now) that much more enjoyable.
- I guarantee one of these girls could have sealed the deal with Ilya Kolvachuk by now . . . or was the head cheerleader on prom night (HEY-OH!).
- With Jimmy Kimmel in re-runs this week, I decided to go with one of my all-time favorite "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" clips: the Sesame Street edition.
- This video has been declared "the best own goal" in soccer history. I can not say I disagree.
- Yes, this video may make you feel uncomfortable. Yes, it is totally worth it.
- Jason Werth, expanding the vocabularies of young kids everywhere since July 2010.
- I call fake. You be the judge.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Things are a bit crazy right now here at the GameTime, TBD© offices. We are going to be dark all next week on account of a vacation, and so we are frantically trying to finish up some last minute work so that we can shut things down at a reasonable hour today. But do not think for one second that a vacation next week is going to stop us from getting you a Link Dump this week. It does mean, however, that our short, pithy introduction is going to be even shorter and pithier today. And it goes like this:
It is amazing how much things can change over the course of a forty-five minute drive into work. I got up extra early this morning so I could get to the gym, get home, get showered and shaved, and be ready for work in time to watch the first half of the (now-infamous) United States versus Slovenia World Cup match. Then I would get in my car and listen to the second half on the radio while I drove (because, you know, as ESPN has told us all throughout the World Cup, this game is available on ESPN, ESPNRadio, and ESPN3.com). Well, after the first half, I was all set to write an introduction about how it is just another disappointing run for the US at the World Cup. But now, thanks to that forty-five minute drive, I get to complain about ESPN instead, which is even better.
You see, listening to the game on ESPNRadio apparently means listen to the game streaming over the internet via ESPNRadio, NOT listen to the game on your local ESPNRadio affiliate. No sir. In case you did not know, the Lakers won the NBA Championship last night, and our local ESPNRadio affiliate here in Los Angeles also happens to be the home station of Los Angeles Lakers basketball. So what was on ESPNRadio here in Los Angeles this morning? "Twenty-four hours of Lakers' championship coverage." That right there is their words, not mine. So, while most of you [Editor's Note: if you have been fastidiously avoiding all mention of the final results of the US/Slovenia game, please skip to the next paragraph] were enjoying the United States' dramatic comeback/subsequent referee hose job (when is a win a draw? well, apparently we learned that today), I was frantically surfing the radio searching for at least some score updates. Thankfully, my boy Dan Patrick came through, like he always does, with "World Cup-dates" after every commercial break. As if I was not over ESPN enough already, maybe next time they will make sure all their affiliates are on board or be a little more specific as what "listen to the game on ESPNRadio" means. (Side note: and, as if I needed one more reason to hate 710ESPN here in Los Angeles . . . I don't even think die-hard Lakers fans want 24 hours of coverage).
Welcome back to those of you who skipped ahead to avoid learning the results of the game. Even with all that venting, I am still a little fired up. So, in order to avoid possibly saying something that will get me in trouble, I am just going to dive into the stuff you came to see:
- Erin Pageviews is ready to play the field. What a . . . err . . . nevermind. [Editor's Note: SUCK IT, ESPN! . . . yup, still bitter.]
- FIFA is, perhaps, the only organization in the world that would be angry about a group of thirty hot, Dutch blonds showing up at their event.
- Speaking of hot blonds associated with the World Cup, my money is on Clancy . . . but you knew this already.
- "Because nothing says good old fashioned Christianity than beating a loved one to death over a remote control."
- BleacherReport, a GameTime, TBD© favorite, has really gone the extra mile this time: Comparing Tiger Woods' Mistresses to His Rivals.
- Gentlemen, listen closely: compassion and cash go a long way with women and groupies. Who knew?
- Instrument of torture? Utah executes a guy by firing squad and you want to call the vuvuzela an instrument of torture?
- "Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill."
- I smell Lifetime original movie.
- A lot has been going in the NFL . . . the what? . . . over the past few weeks. I will let Deadspin summarize it all for you.
- So let me get this straight, the whole team was suspended and then two players were suspended on top of that? Suspended from what at that point?
- "Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend . . ."
Man, I know that last one is not really sports related, but still . . . damn. Also, anything that gives me the opportunity to throw in an Old School reference is deserving of a spot in the Link Dump. Speaking of deserving of a spot, here are some videos that fit that description quite nicely:
- Admit it, after four weeks, your Fridays are not bearable until you have had the chance to watch this.
- Speaking of great, entertaining music videos, OK Go made another one.
- Ron Artest is crazy. If you could possibly need any more proof of this, check out Ron-Ron's post-game interview from last night.
- I am going to say this is fifty percent real, fifty percent fake, and one hundred percent awesome.
- Oh Jimmy, I love when you [censored] the FCC.
- Your "Marisa Miller Link of the Week" comes courtesy of a banned Guitar Hero commercial. [Editor's Note: insert "Marisa Miller can bang my drum any day of the week" joke here . . . wait, what?]
Have a great weekend everyone!
It was a banner night in the GameTime, TBD© house last Friday night. My Better Half flew the coop and head off to San Diego for a "girls weekend", leaving me all alone as the king of my castle. Unfortunately, the plans for my big group orgy fell through, so that left my calendar pretty open. As you know, I was fully prepared to watch Coco host The Tonight Show for the last time, but how I was going to pass the time before it started was a complete mystery. Well, as life often does, the answer became clear the minute I got home.
For starters, my Better Half had ever so nicely sorted the dirty laundry in the bedroom. Now, I am not nearly as smart as she is, so it took me a while to decipher the code, which, as it turns out, was "Do the laundry." But laundry is not something that requires constant attention (unless sitting in your garage and watching a machine shake is entertaining to you . . . but then, I'd assume you're not reading this blog . . . but I digress), so I needed something to pass the time while the washing machine worked its magic. And that is when I saw it, right there on my DirecTV channel guide: the season finale of Jersey Shore. One word: UH-MAZING! I had never watched any of the season, but had heard plenty about it from the likes of BFF and Barnicle, one of my oldest friends. Barnicle had even hosted a Jersey Shore season finale viewing party the night before. As the show progressed, I could literally feel the brain cells in my head dying off. Then, out of nowhere, J-Woww (an actual character nickname) described her ideal man as a "juice-head gorilla", and when she went to the beach to find her some man meat, she inquired "Where are all the juice-head gorillas?" And that was when it happened, my IQ took a fifty point hit; that, and I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, I stuck around for Jersey Shore: The Reunion. I mean, who does not need to learn about the art of fist pumping? This is serious people, the beat wants to fight you so you have to beat the beat up. To think, for the longest time, I thought this was a big spoof; now I know it is real.
What I am trying to say is this: if I seem M.I.A. for the next week or so, do not be afraid. It just means my daily G.T.L. schedule has gotten the best of me. Speaking of which, I am running a little late on the daily schedule. So, while I head out to get my G.T.L. on, here are some things you might have missed to keep you entertained (and smart) for the rest of the afternoon:
- If you had Ray Maualuga in the "Next Cincinnati Bengal to Get Arrested" pool, you may collect your winnings now. Pays double if you also had "DUI in a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire."
- If you see this man in or around the Miami area on February 7, 2010, please contact your local police station. He may be rocking out a great set list.
- "Saintsmania" has permeated the city? EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES (or just take the week off).
- "This is not Detroit, man. THIS IS THE SUPER BOWL." Yes, I am offended (not really).
- I heard his wife had already bought the shears.
- Three words I never thought I would write together: transgender sodomy lawsuit.
- If you are lucky, this man will be playing for your NFL team come next season. Congratulations.
- The SEC is not a fan of fans who love their schools in moments of great triumph.
- Talk about one of your all-time backfires. [Editor's Note: Make sure to watch the video as well, and then check out what happened while the news reporter was filming his intro to the story.]
- This is a story of a cursed high school hockey rink.
- Not too long ago, Charlie Davies was lucky to be alive. Now, it is possible he will be back with the national team in time for the 2010 World Cup.
- Meanwhile, this guy probably will not make it to South Africa this summer.
- It always comes full circle with sex offenders.
- I am sorry, Jim Nantz said what?
Seriously people, one week of G.T.L. and I am feeling swolle' and looking good. All I need is some 'roids so I can complete my transformation to juice-head gorilla; just the man my Better Half has always wanted. Now, I just need to get my hair cut so I can load it up with twenty pounds of gel. I do not want it flopping around while I am out at the clubs beating up the beat. So, while I try to find my local Guido Cuts, you should enjoy this collection of clips for your viewing pleasure:
- I hope, for your sake, your college does not have to play the mighty Nanooks of Alaska, Fairbanks this season.
- With the Olympics right around the corner, I have found myself wondering what it would be like to compete in the Skeleton. Oh look, the answer.
- A decently funny Lonely Island spoof. Never thought it could happen.
- I am sorry, they have tremendous what?
- I am thankful there are people out there with may too much free time on their hands.
- Perhaps all celebration music should be this great. Oh yeah, nice goal too.
- And, yes, we can not have a post about Jersey Shore without one or two shockingly accurate representations of what the show is all about.
Have a great weekend everyone!
