Runnin' Down A Dream

Things are a bit crazy right now here at the GameTime, TBD© offices. We are going to be dark all next week on account of a vacation, and so we are frantically trying to finish up some last minute work so that we can shut things down at a reasonable hour today. But do not think for one second that a vacation next week is going to stop us from getting you a Link Dump this week. It does mean, however, that our short, pithy introduction is going to be even shorter and pithier today. And it goes like this:

It is amazing how much things can change over the course of a forty-five minute drive into work. I got up extra early this morning so I could get to the gym, get home, get showered and shaved, and be ready for work in time to watch the first half of the (now-infamous) United States versus Slovenia World Cup match. Then I would get in my car and listen to the second half on the radio while I drove (because, you know, as ESPN has told us all throughout the World Cup, this game is available on ESPN, ESPNRadio, and ESPN3.com). Well, after the first half, I was all set to write an introduction about how it is just another disappointing run for the US at the World Cup. But now, thanks to that forty-five minute drive, I get to complain about ESPN instead, which is even better.

You see, listening to the game on ESPNRadio apparently means listen to the game streaming over the internet via ESPNRadio, NOT listen to the game on your local ESPNRadio affiliate. No sir. In case you did not know, the Lakers won the NBA Championship last night, and our local ESPNRadio affiliate here in Los Angeles also happens to be the home station of Los Angeles Lakers basketball. So what was on ESPNRadio here in Los Angeles this morning? "Twenty-four hours of Lakers' championship coverage." That right there is their words, not mine. So, while most of you [Editor's Note: if you have been fastidiously avoiding all mention of the final results of the US/Slovenia game, please skip to the next paragraph] were enjoying the United States' dramatic comeback/subsequent referee hose job (when is a win a draw? well, apparently we learned that today), I was frantically surfing the radio searching for at least some score updates. Thankfully, my boy Dan Patrick came through, like he always does, with "World Cup-dates" after every commercial break. As if I was not over ESPN enough already, maybe next time they will make sure all their affiliates are on board or be a little more specific as what "listen to the game on ESPNRadio" means. (Side note: and, as if I needed one more reason to hate 710ESPN here in Los Angeles . . . I don't even think die-hard Lakers fans want 24 hours of coverage).

Welcome back to those of you who skipped ahead to avoid learning the results of the game. Even with all that venting, I am still a little fired up. So, in order to avoid possibly saying something that will get me in trouble, I am just going to dive into the stuff you came to see:

• Erin Pageviews is ready to play the field. What a . . . err . . . nevermind. [Editor's Note: SUCK IT, ESPN! . . . yup, still bitter.]
• FIFA is, perhaps, the only organization in the world that would be angry about a group of thirty hot, Dutch blonds showing up at their event.
• Speaking of hot blonds associated with the World Cup, my money is on Clancy . . . but you knew this already.
  
• "Because nothing says good old fashioned Christianity than beating a loved one to death over a remote control."
• BleacherReport, a GameTime, TBD© favorite, has really gone the extra mile this time: Comparing Tiger Woods' Mistresses to His Rivals.
• Gentlemen, listen closely: compassion and cash go a long way with women and groupies. Who knew?
• Instrument of torture? Utah executes a guy by firing squad and you want to call the vuvuzela an instrument of torture?
• "Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill."
• I smell Lifetime original movie.
• A lot has been going in the NFL . . . the what? . . . over the past few weeks. I will let Deadspin summarize it all for you.
• So let me get this straight, the whole team was suspended and then two players were suspended on top of that? Suspended from what at that point?
• "Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend . . ."

Man, I know that last one is not really sports related, but still . . . damn. Also, anything that gives me the opportunity to throw in an Old School reference is deserving of a spot in the Link Dump. Speaking of deserving of a spot, here are some videos that fit that description quite nicely:

• Admit it, after four weeks, your Fridays are not bearable until you have had the chance to watch this.
• Speaking of great, entertaining music videos, OK Go made another one.
• Ron Artest is crazy. If you could possibly need any more proof of this, check out Ron-Ron's post-game interview from last night.
• I am going to say this is fifty percent real, fifty percent fake, and one hundred percent awesome.
• Oh Jimmy, I love when you [censored] the FCC.
• Your "Marisa Miller Link of the Week" comes courtesy of a banned Guitar Hero commercial. [Editor's Note: insert "Marisa Miller can bang my drum any day of the week" joke here . . . wait, what?]

Have a great weekend everyone!

Who's Watching You?

[Editor's Note: So, it turned out our last Link Dump was (1) hugely popular amongst my Better Half and her friends, so yay for that; and (b) our 150th post (fanfare, fanfare, fanfare . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fireworks . . . grand finale . . . thank you, you're all too kind). But seriously, for those of you who keep coming back week in and week out, I, The Chief, want to thank you for your support. We will keep doing this until (1) you all stop coming around, or (b) I run for political office. It could be a while.]

Finally getting that Kings preview up was like getting the proverbial "monkey off my back" in terms of new, hip, fresh material. I realized I was taking myself much too seriously. After all, it is not like I am trying to win a Pulitzer Prize or anything. So, with this post, it is important you are all in the proper frame of mind. Since it goes with the title, I strongly recommend you have the Geico commercial music playing in the background. This can be accomplished one of two ways: (1) you can let this YouTube video play continuously in the background (don't mistake it for the original please); or (b) you can download the song for free here and put it on repeat in your iTunes (it also makes for a nice song to add to your iPod when you workout at the gym . . . no, this iPost is not sponsored by Apple . . . but it could be . . . hey Apple, call me). I will give you a few moments to get everything ready . . .

. . .

Ready? Good; let us begin.

When the playoffs for any sport begin, you always here radio talk show hosts and television personalities talking about the league's "dream match-up". Take, for example, this year's Major League Baseball playoffs. Everybody knows the league was dying for a World Series in which the Los Angeles Dodgers faced off against the New York Yankees. This is because advertising is driven by viewership, and a Dodgers/Yankees World Series would all but guarantee huge ratings for MLB. It would have the two most storied teams facing off against each other; it would have the Torre, Mattingly, and Manny back to the Bronx storyline. Long story short, it was Bud Selig's wet dream (yeah, I went there). Unfortunately, they got Yankees/Phillies. I do not know about you, but as we head in to tonight's Game 6, I do not even think I have tuned into nine innings total of this year's Series; more to the point, most of the innings I have watched were at the gym. On Monday, I was on an elliptical machine (yes, that's 17 days in a row) right in front of a television showing the Game 5, yet there I was craning my neck to watch the Monday Night Football match-up of the Saints and Falcons. If I had not been trash talking with Q all throughout the playoffs (see, e.g., last week's Link Dump), I probably would not have even watched the six total innings of play that I have up to this point. In fact, I probably will not even know who won Game 6 until tomorrow. Anyone feel like calling me with a heads up?

Moving away from the national spotlight, the Los Angeles sports market is a whole different can of worms. Between sports, Hollywood, the beach, movie premieres, celebrity parties, etc., there is always something for the famous to do. The only way you know your team has arrived in the Los Angeles market is when the celebrities show up for your games. The Los Angeles Lakers are the obvious example. It does not matter what day of the week it is, or what time tip off is, the crowd is going to include quite the who's-who of celebrities. Whether it be Leonardo DiCaprio, Penny Marshall, Denzel Washington, Andy Garcia, Ice Cube, Anthony Kiedis, Dyan Cannon, or, most notably, Jack Nicholson, the crowd at Staples Center for Lakers' home games always has the seen and be seen feel to it. As much as it pains me to say it, the Lakers are the marque sports draw in Los Angeles.

Which brings me to my Kings. You can tell how the Kings season is going not necessarily by the number of people in attendance (the Kings have a very loyal and knowledgeable fan base . . . unlike the Coyotes who managed a paid attendance of 5,855 on Monday in their 5-3 loss to my boys in purple and black), but rather by which celebrities show up. During the Gretzky-era of the early 1990s, the Kings filled The Forum with just as many celebrities as the Lakers. Even during the reign of Murray I, there was a minor resurgence of the celebrity presence, but it really did not happen until later in the season once the Kings were playoff bound. But with the exception of those two time periods, it has generally been uncool for a celebrity to be caught at a Los Angeles Kings hockey game. After all, there are so many other places the rich and ditzy can be photographed by the paparazzi on your average Tuesday.

So here we are, fifteen games into the season, and things are looking good for my boys. They currently stand one point [Update: 3 points . . . stupid Nabokov and his shootout skills] out of first in the Pacific Division and fourth overall (because league leaders get top 3 seeds) in the Western Conference. They also have two players (Kopitar and Smyth) ranked in the top six in league scoring, only made more impressive by the fact that Anze Kopitar continues to lead the league in scoring (11 goals, 13 assists, 24 points). Additionally, Drew Doughty is showing no signs of a sophomore slump (3rd overall in defensive scoring and an increased physical presence) and rookie Davis Drewiske and second-year Wayne Simmonds are ranked in the top ten in the underrated plus/minus category (4th and 8th respectively). To say the least, it has been a team effort thus far. Hopefully they will continue to carry this effort throughout the entire season. They play the Pittsburgh Penguins tomorrow night at home (yeah, I'll be there . . . will you?), which should be a nice test to see just how far they have come. Pittsburgh, after all, is the defending Stanley Cup champion and has yet to lose on the road this season (7-0-0).

So finally we arrive at my main question: who will be watching the Kings, not only on Thursday night versus one of the top teams in the league, but for the rest of the season? I was at the Kings/Blue Jackets game on October 25th (a 6-2 Kings win . . . did I mention they have the fourth most goals scored in the league?) and not only was the game not a sell out, but here are the celebrities I spotted in attendance: Jason Seaver (who looks suspiciously like Alan Thicke . . . and who had a television placed in front of him so he could watch Game 6 of the Angels/Yankees series . . . why even bother showing up Dr. Seaver? I'm sure Mike was off getting himself into trouble with Boner . . . hehehe); "that guy who plays the main werewolf in the Twilight series" (turns out his name is Taylor Lautner . . . if I don't know your name, you don't count as a celebrity); and the biggest celebrity in attendance, Taylor Swift. Really? An eighties' sit-com star, a teen-movie heartthrob, and an country singer? Look, I will admit Ms. Swift is certainly easy on the eyes (your Honor, the defense enters into evidence exhibits 1, 2, and 3), but she is hardly the A-list celebrity that announces a team has arrived here in Los Angeles. In fact, if I did not know better, I would think Mr. Werewolf Boy was simply trying to promote the next installment of the Twilight series and brought his girlfriend along with him, who just happened to be Taylor Swift. That would mean the only celebrity that chose to be there was that Alan Thicke lookalike, and he needed a television to watch a baseball game. This is unacceptable.

The Kings finally have the team I have been waiting for since I first started this blog (*checking date* . . . three years ago? really?) three years ago. This team has already shown they have come a long way and are a legitimate contender for not just a lower playoff seed, but rather one that may come with home ice at least for the first round. And that my friends, is why it is time for us to, once again, pack that building from wall-to-wall. This Kings team deserves to play in front of a sold-out Staples Center (for those of you scoring at home, that's 18,118 fans per game) ever time they take the ice. So I am calling on everyone, whether you are an average Joe or an A-, B-, or C-list (or Kathy Griffin and her D-list) celebrity: put down that grande half-caf skim mocha latte frappucino with an add shot and come support the Los Angeles Kings. There is plenty of room on the bandwagon, but you best be reserving your seats now (don't worry Ms. Swift [*googling Taylor Swift* . . . 19-years-old . . . phew], you can ride shotgun).

Back In The Game

Sorry for last week's lack of a Link Dump (say that ten times fast). Believe you me, there are few things in this world the Chief looks forward to more than a weekend of forced interaction with his entire firm. Anywho, we are back in the game this week.

If you did not notice, the Los Angeles Lakers are back in the NBA Finals. What is that you say? You did notice? My guess is that the eleventy-billion window flags gave it away. Is there anything more annoying than a car with a Lakers window flag? Why yes, a car with a Lakers window flag on both rear windows. Two weekends ago, when I driving home from Palm Springs, I was behind a car that had two window flags on its rear window. Predictably, one of them broke off and hit my car. For a split second, I felt like running the car off the road (not mine, hers . . . it's always women . . . ), but I thought that would be letting the driver off too easy. Instead, I took solace in thought of her reaction when she reached her destination, only to discover one of her beloved window flags had broken off. Probably not a good night to be that girl's main squeeze (though, having seen her, it begs the question: is there ever a good night?).

But more annoying than window flags, is the entitlement complex most fans and the media have about "their" Lakers. They made it this far, so the championship deserves to be theirs; it is as if Boston beating them last year is the greatest travesty of the past twenty years. How are the Lakers not as hated as the Yankees? Lakers fans are just as arrogant. I mean, Orlando has made it this far, why are they not entitled to it? For starters, they clearly have the hotter cheerleaders, and you know that is worth something . . . at least in my book. I know last night's Magic performance does not help my point any, but I do not think Orlando is just going to roll over (I hope). I think they will make a series out of this yet.

Do not get me wrong, the atmosphere in Los Angeles is always great when the Lakers make the Finals, and I hope the Lakers win (after all, I can watch the parade from my office). But lets give the other guys some credit . . . and put away the damn window flags.

So, while I stare out my office window, counting window flags on the passing cars for the rest of the afternoon (if numbers actually go that high), here are some things you might have missed:

• Apparently you can "perfect your game" with Anna Kournikova. I would rather just bid for that date with May Anderson . . . after all, my game is already perfect.
• Twenty-seven points? That is about twenty-seven too many if you ask me.
• Remember those problems with the Phoenix Coyotes we talked about a few weeks ago? Well, I never, ever, ever would have seen this coming. Ever. Shocking.
• Tough decisions must be made in these tough economic times.
• Simmons doing what Simmons does best . . . ball-washing the Red Sox of course. What did you think I meant?
• So, let us see now, looks like all this kid needs to do now is break every MLB record . . . those expectations should not be tough to meet.
• Thankfully Deadspin took the time to (1) track all of SI's "Chosen Ones" and (B) track the moonshot.
• Danica Patrick says what baseball players knew fifteen years ago, takes heat.
• Sosa has hall of fame induction speech all ready to go . . . apparently forgetting that one must be inducted to give said speech.
• "You don't even see that in tee ball." Well played, sir. Well played.
• Memphis probes alleged violations about as well as it shoots free throws.
• I love you Golden State, please [don't] draft me.
• Does that come with a happy ending?
• What are the chances that Brett Favre reads soccer news?

Boy, I do not know about you, but I am still reeling from that Gretzky news (fifty-seven, fifty-eight, sixty). That is just totally unbelievable (sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy). Regardless, let us move on to the more important stuff (eighty-five, eight-six, ninety).

• "And the pigeon is no more" . . .
  
• . . . which reminds me, congrats to Randy Johnson on his 300th . . . win that is.
• In honor of the upcoming SBC movie, Bruno, here is one of the best Ali G clips of all time (or you could just go and check out the thirteen greatest Bruno moments from the show . . . slightly NSFW).
• Ouch . . . that about sums it up.
• From the Vault: what is that noise?

I think my favorite part of that Randy Johnson video (one hundred ten, one hundred eleven) is the catcher's reaction. Just watch how he bails out of there.

Have a great weekend everyone (one hundred thirty-three, one hundred thirty-four)!

Coffee with Kurt

I am, admittedly, not the biggest fan of the NBA. When it comes to basketball, I prefer the college ranks to the pros. Having followed the ramblings here at GameTime, TBD©, I know that is not hard for most of you to believe. But living in the greater Los Angeles area, and with the NBA Finals set to tip off tonight with the Lakers at the Boston Celtics, it is hard not to get swept up in all the hoopla surrounding the team.

While I wish it was the Los Angeles Kings that had hoisted the Stanley Cup last night, it is exciting anytime your city gets the opportunity to win a championship of any sport. I enjoy the way such an event seems to really bring an entire area together, if only for a few weeks. Will I watch the Finals? Yes. Will I buy one of those Lakers window flags? Hell no! (seriously, those are the most annoying things ever. Do you really need one? for your rear windows? for all four windows? Ugh, I get annoyed just thinking about them . . . but I digress.) But here is the funny thing, I have actually been rooting for the Lakers over the last three to four months more than I ever have, and it is not just because they are winning (as evidenced by my undying support of the Kings, I clearly don't often root for the front runners).

You see, on most week days for the past three to four months I have had the opportunity to share coffee with former-Laker "great" and current-assistant-coach Kurt Rambis. Well, share might be a bit of an overstatement; we go to the same Starbucks at the same time. The first few times I noticed him (a 6' 8" white guy kinda sticks out in a crowd), I was kind of star struck. When I was younger, and a bigger fan of The League than I am today, Rambis was one of my favorites. He was not the most talented player, but he worked hard night-in and night-out, epitomized team play, and I respected that. Plus, I loved the 80's porn mustache [editor's note to Jeff Kent: grow it back buddy, it's about the only thing you had going for you] and the black thick-rimmed glasses; what a combo.

So one morning, after a Lakers' victory the previous night, I finally got the courage to talk to Kurt (yeah, we're on a first name basis). I simply introduced myself and said that I wanted to congratulate him on a nice victory. Here was the great thing, he did not just say thanks or shrug me off. Instead, he responded with something to the effect of "Well, it was nice to get the win, but there are certainly some things we have to work on." Then, he proceeded to talk with me for about five minutes about the Lakers' inability to close out on the outside shooter on defense and their problems with slashing point guards. He talked about how their offense was good enough to overcome these deficiencies on most nights, but that it was something they definitely needed to address to be successful come playoff time. Needless to say, it was one of the best sports experiences I have had recently.

Since that time, I have had several other conversations with Kurt while he waits for his lattes. He is always willing to share some insights into the game and the team which has allowed me to enjoy the NBA more than I used to. He also always gets two lattes. I keep meaning to ask him: is that for the Mrs. or does Phil make you get him a coffee every morning? I think it is best that I just let that one go for now (until we're actually on a first name basis). Instead, I will just sit here and wonder what will happen once the season is over. Will he still need coffee at 8:15 a.m.? I hope so.

Albom may have had his Tuesdays with Morrie, but I get my coffee with Kurt. Now, when do I get my dinner and drinks with Dan (Patrick that is)?