Slumpbusters

I know you will not be proud to admit it, but I guarantee everyone reading this knew (knows) of their college's slumpbuster(s) (seriously, 50% of my college would have been considered slumpbusters at other schools). Do not play dumb with me and pretend you do not know what I am talking about. So you hit a little bit of a dry spell; your confidence was shaken; you just needed to get back in the game. So you lowered your standards a little bit, ran into someone at a kegger on Saturday night who looked "good" (beer goggles anyone?), and "busted" out of your proverbial "slump". Look, it happens to the best of us (Editor's Note: not me; unless you count my Better Half as my slumpbuster of bad relationships), and, assuming your slumpbuster had some redeeming qualities, you have nothing to be ashamed of (just ignore your friends laughing at you; their turn will come).

But there are other slumps out there that need busting too. The Los Angeles Dodgers were in one of those slumps. Since the Dodgers last won the World Series in 1988, they had won exactly one (1) playoff game in twenty years (a gem of a performance by Jose "Lima Time" in 2004 versus the St. Louis Cardinals). In a city where success is defined by championships, that is a slump. So the Dodgers did what any person in a slump does: go looking for a slumpbuster. They found theirs, however, in the most unlikely of places: Boston. The Boston Red Sox were willing to give up Manny Ramierez for free . . . nothing . . . zilch . . . nada (if you've got an extra half an hour after reading the rest of this, check out Bill Simmons' in depth look at the real villain of the Manny-t0-L.A.-for-nothing deal). Now the Dodgers have a 2-0 lead in their NLDS against the Chicago Cubs (talk about a slump . . .) and are one win away from their first series victory since, well, 1988. It is fun to be a baseball fan again in Los Angeles (and I'm talking about the real Los Angeles, not that fictional Los Angeles in Anaheim).

Well, rest assured that GameTime, TBD© will never find itself in a slump. That is because you, my avid readers, will always be in need of a little Friday afternoon distraction. So, to do just that, here are some things you might have missed:

• With the Yankees and Mets out of the playoffs, the New York Times fills its baseball writing quota with . . . wait for it . . . mowing patterns in major league stadiums.
• Fukudome is not so popular amongst Cubs fans or school administrators.
• Apparently I am not the only one who thought referring to Rays' third-baseman Evan Longoria as Eva Longoria was funny. Unfortunately, Eva Longoria does not find it funny.
• "Hey baby, I'm just calling to let you know that the Restraining Order you got against me just went through about 20 minutes ago."
• I guess it was only a matter of time before fantasy football scoring pushed someone over the edge.
• It is good to see Shanahan finally joking about his long standing feud with Al Davis. But did he really count all of the days? I am not positive, but I am pretty sure the Broncos have a game this weekend. Can anyone confirm that for me?
• "Luongo to lead the way from the rear." Sometimes these things write themselves.
• Apparently, newspaper are cutting back on their coverage of local hockey teams. Those of us who have read articles written by those who cover the Los Angeles Kings think this might be a good thing.
• I think I will parlay "AFC winning the coin toss" with "Born to Run" for this year's Super Bowl.
• While some were sad to learn the Golden State Warriors had to fire their mascot (thanks to the Seattle Supersonics . . . wait, they moved? To Oklahoma City? When? Huh, who knew?), this guy is clearly not one of them.

Seriously though, that last guy has some unresolved anger issues he needs to take care of before things spiral out of control for him. Maybe he needs to go find dad and let him know he understands and he forgives him. Or, maybe these three videos I have selected for your weekly viewing pleasure would help:

• Carey Price obviously took the red pill.
• Gravity 1, Roof Surfer 0: gravity's best punchline in years.
• Even with all of this economic turmoil, apparently it still feels good to be a banker. How good you ask? Damn good.

Have a great weekend everyone!

And Scene . . .

For the most part, we here at GameTime, TBD© try to avoid clichés and the like, but sometimes it is inevitable: Thank God It's Friday! Just to be clear, I am talking about the actual week day "Friday", not the restaurant or the block of some of the greatest situational comedies ("sitcoms") that aired on ABC from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. on Friday nights. I hope you all had a great Fourth of July holiday weekend. I did, and I have been paying for it all week. Needless to say, I am glad the weekend is here; I am looking forward to kicking back, relaxing, and catching up on some much needed sleep. But as the main (read: only) contributor to the world that is GameTime, TBD©, I refuse to let my little pity party keep me from my duties: to entertain you, my dear readers, as the last few hours of the work week click away.

Before we get into the goods, a note to my female readers: you will find no references to the Brett Favre/Green Bay Packers saga in this weeks Link Dump. You can thank my Better Half for that. Every Sunday morning in the fall, when I turn on a football game, the first question out of my Better Half's mouth is "Are the Packers playing?" It is not like she is a Packers fan . . . oh, no . . . she just wants to know if she will be bored for the next three hours or if she will get to gaze longingly at the legend that is Brett Favre for the next three hours. I will be the first completely heterosexual male to admit that Brett Favre is a good looking dude, but talk about a punch to the gut. I am getting a little queasy just thinking about it. So, without further ado, here are some non-Favre related things you might have missed:

• As much as I hate the evil empire, I really do love their e-Ticket features.
• Gretzky versus Montana for the right to throw to Smith? Ah, only in my hometown.
• If you are willing to make the down payment, I am willing to let you stay in one of the guest houses for a night . . . but just one.
• If you build it, the lawyers will come.
• It looks like I am going to have to upgrade my DVR before my honeymoon if I am going to be able to enjoy all of the coverage when I get back.
• An interesting look at the Pac-10 as fine wines; the Big Ten as beer; and the SEC as liquor.
• While this is reason enough to get a Wii, I think I will stick with actual beer pong.
• In an effort to increase female viewership, Desperate Housewives star and Tampa Bay Rays third-baseman (I personally think that's a little sexist) Eva Longoria selected to the American League All-Star team.

Of course, the week would not be complete without a little something for your viewing enjoyment. It was a slow week in the video department (unless you're a big fan of people getting injured while riding their bike), but I still found a few treats to help you get through the afternoon.

• For all you California drivers, I hope you remembered to get your new hands-free device.
• If this was 1998, this kid would never get laid. Lucky for him, it is 2008. (eds. note: this video is 8 minutes long, but will be appreciated by anyone who has played Guitar Hero on any level.)
  
• Since my intro got my reminiscing about TGIF, here is a little number you might recall.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Update: Just found one more article that is really touching. If you only have time for one link this week, make this be the one.]

Wait, What Day Is It?

That is right, it is Friday. I am sure you are all counting down the hours (or, for my east coast readers, the minutes) until your work day comes to an end. Believe you me, it cannot get here fast enough; this has been one of those weeks. I would tell you about it but (1) I want you to keep reading this blog, and (b) I am sure you all have had at least one of those weeks in your lifetime. So, in the interest of readership, I am going to spare you the details (you can all thank me later). Instead I will just get right to the good stuff. If you do not have a fantasy baseball team to help you pass the time on this "beautiful" Friday afternoon (I say "beautiful" because some company decided to build a 30-story building right next door to my building and they have built up past my floor, completely blocking my view . . . so, if it's nice where you are, go ahead and rub it in), here are some things you might have missed:

• With the NFL draft starting tomorrow, I cannot help but think of all the "great" drafts the Detroit Lions have had.
• Mysteriously absent from this article is any reference to Lenny "allegedly" (and when I say allegedly, I mean like O.J. is "allegedly" a murderer) molesting girls at his car wash. Though, apparently he likes to watch baseball from the Westlake High School student parking lot.
• Not to get political or anything, but it is nice to see Putin using his power for good.
• In a move purely intended to bolster attendance figures, the Tampa Bay Rays have signed Eva Longoria to a six-year deal. No word on how this affects Longoria's commitments to Desperate Housewives.
• Is the Aussie Olympic swim team really that good?
• So Miguel Tejada is two years older than we thought; who cares? Can someone please tell me how old Julio Franco is?
• Two puns in one headline . . . I will not even bother trying to top that.
• An attractive Serbian tennis player I have never heard of is, apparently, quite lickable. Maybe I should watch more women's tennis.
• Now that she is legal, I just might have to add Emma Watson to THE list; of course, having $20 million in the bank does not hurt.

And for your Friday viewing pleasure, I have a several good ones for you (it was a banner week in the video department). A couple of them (noted with a "w/s") are best with sound. Hope you enjoy these:

• "That was a bulls-eye . . ." (w/s)
• God bless the mascot who knows how to work it.
• It wasn't me!
• We all have a soft spot in our heart for the Super Mario Bros. theme. (w/s)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Now You Know . . . And Knowing Is Half the Battle

I know more than a few people out there (some avid readers, some not . . . their loss) whom are headed out to San Antonio, Texas because some colleges are finishing up some stupid tournament that no one really cares about (okay, that's a lie; I'm just jealous that they're going and I'm not). So, for all you Bruin faithful headed out to cheer on our team in person, I thought I would help you get prepared for the weekend. Here is everything you have "ever" wanted to know about the great city of San Antonio, Texas (what's that? You've never wanted to know anything about San Antonio? Well, keep reading and maybe you'll learn something new).

For starters, San Antonio is the second largest city in all of Texas, and the seventh largest city in the United States (of America . . . if you were confused and thought you might be headed to a foreign country). Located in Bexar county, San Antonio is "in the northern part of South Texas" (I am a little confused here . . . when did we split Texas into two states? I just counted and there are still only 50 stars on the American Flag. Did we revoke someone's statehood? I bet it was New Jersey. Stupid public school/pricey-private-college education . . . a lot of good you did me).

What is now San Antonio was originally a Coahuiltecan Indian village until Spain sent missionaries to colonize the native people some 300 years ago. In 1718, the Franciscans constructed a mission, San Antonio de Valero, to convert, educate, and serve as the economic core for the settlement. In 1731, Spain sent settlers from the Canary Islands to further establish their colonial presence and over the next few years, built four more missions along the river. A lack of military support and raids by neighboring Comanche and Apaches weakened Spain's control of the original mission and, in 1794, Mission San Antonia de Valero was secularized and became a Spanish military installation . . . a little place people like to call The Alamo.

You might remember The Alamo from its leading roll in the critically acclaimed performance of the Texas Revolution. It was not but 170 years ago (1836), that 189 Texas fighters (wait, we had war planes in 1836?) held off Antonia Lopez de Santa Anna and his 4,000-plus lackies for 13 days. Most famous among them was, of course, Davy Crockett, a great American folk hero and the owner of a very fancy Double Tree resort and vineyard in Santa Barbara, California where my sister and brother-in-law held their wedding reception. He has aged quite well for having been born sometime around 1786 and does not show much evidence of "dying" at the Battle of the Alamo.

When packing for your trip, do not forget to pack your shorts and, if you are not cool enough to live in Southern California, your sunscreen. The average daily temperature for San Antonio in April is 80 degrees. The record high in April was 101 degrees, set back in 1996. As for that sunscreen, I would not be expecting much rain. San Antonio averages only 2.6 inches of rain during the month of April.

For all of you Bruin fans looking for something to do on Sunday between UCLA games (or if you're a Memphis fan waiting for an afternoon flight home), San Antonio's "Hot Spot" is the River Walk, which works its way through Downtown San Antonio and has many restaurants and bars for you to celebrate (or drown your sorrows) at. If drinking is not your thing (though, you probably don't read GameTime, TBD© then), there is also SeaWorld San Antonio, Six Flags Fiesta Texas, and the Fairmont Hotel (built in 1906, the Fairmont stands as one of the heaviest buildings ever moved intact . . . in 1985 it was moved over four days to its current location 3 blocks south of The Alamo for the bargain price of only $650k). Unfortunately, with the Final Four being played at the Alamodome, the San Antonio Spurs will be playing at the Portland Trail Blazers, so I am unable to list Evan Longoria (not to be mistaken with Tampa Bay Rays' prospect Eva Longoria) as a local attraction. If your name is Matt Leinart, and for some reason you are reading GameTime, TBD©, I would like to let you know that your local attractions are likely to be found at the University of Texas at San Antonio or Trinity University (and I hear that ITT Tech and University of Phoenix have some hot co-eds at their San Antonio campuses, so check them out too Matty).

If you are lucky, maybe you will be able to spot one of San Antonio's finest (Henry Cisneros, Alberto Gonzalez, Oliver North, and Tommy Lee Jones), or their FINEST (Lara Flynn Boyle . . . oh wait, it turns out she's just married to some San Antonio businessman . . . but I feel like that's enough, don't you?), at the Final Four. I mean, it is not very likely that they will just give up their seats to you and you will end up in a picture in Sports Illustrated, but you never know (right Jimbo?).

So there you have it; everything you need to know about the great city of San Antonio. Well, actually, I cannot say I have ever actually been to San Antonio, but it seems great. Mostly I am just hoping that everyone gets to see the Bruins play twice in San Antonio. Thankfully Florida is not around this year, but my friends all say that if John Calipari were smart (which, thankfully, he's not), he would pay for Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Corey Brewer, and Taurean Green to come sit courtside during the UCLA/Memphis game on Saturday (tip off at 6:07 EST). You can rest assured that I will securely glued to my couch by then with all throwable objects moved a safe distance away.

I hope all you travelers have a safe and fun trip to San Antonio, regardless of which team you are rooting for. But if you are not having a good time, do not bother me, I will be busy celebrating the UCLA Bruins' 12th National Championship.

Would You Rather . . .

[DISCLAIMER: I ran this by My Better Half before posting it]

Usually, when it has taken GameTime, TBD© a while to get some new original content up, I lead with an apology. Not this time. The truth of the matter is that I had been working on, what only can be described as, an epic post when two things dawned on me: (1) at one thousand words and counting the post was far too long; and (b) the topic is much more suited for the end of the National Hockey League season, not pre-All Star break. So, I copied and pasted what I had written into a word document and put it on the shelf for a period time. Thankfully, a new topic fell into my lap this morning.

For those of you of have been following my weekly "Link Dump" column, you way recall that last week I made reference to the "Would You Rather" desk calendar my soon-to-be Mother-in-Law gave me in my Christmas stocking. I flipped through it on Christmas and found that I enjoyed most of the ones I read, so I decided to bring it into my office so I could have a little entertainment first thing in the morning. What I did not realize, however, is how many of the days would make for interesting discussion topic, especially on GameTime, TBD©. I thought I would start with today's "Would You Rather" which reads:

Would you rather have sex with Eva Longoria OR have sex with Rachel Ray and have her cook for you each night? (Emphasis in original.)

My gut instinct was to go with Eva Longoria, but I thought there might be more to this. For starters, neither of these two ladies have made my "Celebrity 5" list (you know, the list of celebrities that, if the opportunity arose, you could hook up with and not have to suffer any adverse consequences from your significant other? My list is fairly exclusive and actually has only two people on it right now. I am sure you all know who they are by now, they are displayed prominently on my header. To this day, My Better Half claims Marisa Miller is naked in that picture and I have to remind her that GameTime, TBD© is a family friendly, sometimes PG-13, environment so I would never include a naked picture of someone . . . but I digress). This means that I do not really hold either of these women in high esteem. So, they would have to work for it. And now you see my dilemma: according to the language of the question, Rachel Ray IS willing to work for it. What to do?

When searching for the answer to important questions like this, there is only one place to start: Ask Jeeves. Having asked Jeeves the original question, his first response is that Eva Longoria is rumored to have a sex tape. Nice! Point, Longoria. But as it turns out, Jeeves does not actually answer questions, he is a search engine in disguise. Who knew? So, I must turn to the ultimate source of information, the all-knowing (and ALWAYS correct) Wikipedia. As it turns out Eva Longoria is on her second marriage (San Antonio point guard Tony Parker, a French dude) and her first husband was some soap opera star (who I'm sure can only be described as a tool); she has also been romantically linked to an ex-N'SYNC singer and an ex-N'SYNC back-up dancer (wow, a back-up dancer?). Rachel Ray, on the other hand, is still on her first marriage and, although there are rumors of a divorce, I appreciate that she has not been around the block and back again . . . at least publicly. Point, Ray.

In terms of hotness factor, there really is no debate. If you know me (and if you know My Better Half), you know I like petite women. Eva Longoria fits that description; she is small but, at the same time, does not look emaciated. Rachel Ray, although not large by any stretch of the imagination, has a set of shoulders that makes it look like she could be playing linebacker in the National Football League (and while I am here talking about manly features of women, I'd like to know why so many women want to have biceps bigger than men? Seriously ladies, not attractive. Stick to the toned look; the heads you turn will have more looks of lust than fear). And having reviewed both women's spread in men's magazines online (Longoria appeared in Maxim, Ray in FHM), it is safe to say that Eva Longoria has much better "assets" (Zing!). Point, Longoria.

But then we get back to the fact that Rachel Ray is willing to work for it; she will cook for me each night. I can only speculate that that would mean a gourmet meal seven nights per week. Now, most of you would think that this is a good thing (like My Better Half said in responding to the question, "I'd tolerate the sex with Rachel Ray because a girl's gotta eat"). Now, I would normally agree with that line of reasoning, but if you have been following my other life (yes, I know, I've been blog-cheating on all of you and I'm sorry), you know I am in the middle of an aggressive weight loss program. So, that being said, a gourmet meal every night is probably not the best for me right now. Sorry Rachel, but point, Longoria.

So there you have it, apparently I would rather have sex with Eva Longoria. Like my teachers always told me when taking a multiple choice test: trust your gut instinct, it is right more than it is wrong (I probably would have done better on the SAT and LSAT if I had). It also would have saved you all from having to read this, just like if the question had been "would you rather have Marc Crawford or Andy Murray as the Los Angeles Kings head coach?" That one is a no-brainer, Andy Murray any day of the week and twice on Sunday . . . just like Longoria and I. But she is still not on my list.