It is odd what we can remember and what we can not. For some reason, I can still recall where I was when I heard the news that Chris Farley, of all people, had died (for the record, I was driving home from the local mall with mom . . . it probably helps that it was the day after my seventeenth birthday as well). I was a big fan of Farley's movies and his physical style of comedy. It was the suddenness with which the news broke that has permanently left that image ingrained in my head.
Like that day in December 1997, I will always remember that I was sitting at my desk in my office on June 25, 2009 when I received the following text from My Better Half: "wow, farrah fawcett and michael jackson both in one day" (am I the only person on this planet who makes the painstaking effort to ensure that even my text message's are grammatically correct?). I had heard that Fawcett had passed away. Most people knew it was coming after a long battle with cancer. And I had heard that Jackson had been taken to the hospital, but I had assumed it was just another one of his random illnesses. I did not even notice that, apparently, several of the support staff members of my firm were visibly shaken by the news. I can not say I was ever a huge Jackson 5 or Michael Jackson fan, but as a music lover/former performer, I appreciated the music and, to this day, have a good number of their songs on my iPod. I will even go so far as to say my favorite music video of all time is one of Jackson's (and, no, it's not Thriller). And while I may not be the biggest Jackson fan (mostly because all of his other issues factor in with me), I can not deny the global impact he had; the way he brought people of different cultures, religions, and nationalities together. And he truly was the greatest performer, at least of this generation. Even with all his legal issues of the past few years, the tributes currently going on around the world are all well deserved.
And now, to the less important, but more likely to make you smile portion of our weekly Link Dump. Here are some things you might have missed:
- A draft lottery of . . .er . . . different sorts. The kind of sorts we men prefer (if you get my drift *wink*).
- The highlight of last night's NBA draft? Kevin Love's tweets of course. Questioning of your organization's decision-making process? Check. Calling the organization outright crazy? Check. Realizing that is probably not the best career move? Check. Cracking a joke at David Stern's expense? He saved the best for last.
- Jeff Jordan makes a wise decision in what I can only imagine is a no-win situation.
- Mike Garrett thinks highly of himself (what would you expect from a Trojan?). Thankfully, the rest of us have a brain.
- A photo gallery of the Oregon Ducks' new football jerseys. No, this is not a repeat of 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 . . .
- It was an exciting week for recreational golfers: (1) they should have probably just let him play through; and (b) nothing like a DUI in your golf cart.
- Speaking of golf, do you often find yourself getting it confused with another . . . shall we say . . . "recreational activity"?
- Your sexist comment of the week goes to . . . (*spins wheel*) . . . Lleyton Hewitt. Congratulations Lleyton, enjoy the next week on the couch instead of in bed with her.
- Just to recap: killing a man, thirty days; stealing Lance Armstrong's bike, three years.
- Hey ladies, have a couple . . . err . . . problem spots you would like taken care of? Well, the Mahoning Valley Scrappers have a fan giveaway for you.
When I think of the "King of Pop", I can not help but think of some of the amazing music videos he made. Whether it be Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean, or Scream, they were are all pretty amazing. But there is still one that, in my opinion, tops them all. So we start this week's video portion of the Link Dump with my tribute to MJ:
- "You've been hit by . . . (dun, dun) . . . you've been hit by . . ."
- Listened to FM radio this morning on the drive into work (once DP was over), heard a little Boston, was reminded of this.
- Mash-ups of classic press-conference moments never get old, especially when they are good.
- Conan O'Brien is supposedly loosing viewership in the fly-over states. I wonder why?
- We are tweet-happy this week (caution: some strong language).
- Apparently that bat trick from last week was just the warm-up to this.
Have a great weekend everyone!
It has been one crazy week. My Better Half and I are getting ready to move tomorrow morning, which means I have spent all week packing up the "old" place. I also thought it would be a good time to get a lump of scar tissue removed, which means I am down to one arm during this whole process. So, between those two tasks and, of course, actual work (wait, what?), it has been a crazy week. That has left me feeling like there is no time, like there is never any time, and like I will never get into Stanford. Oh well, my college years were pretty solid as is, I guess I will just have to live with it. But rest assured, my dear readers, that, come hell or high water, at least once a week I will still have time for you. For no person should be forced to endure a Friday without a Link Dump brought to you by the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD©.
And what a week it was. The most valuable player of the week had to be the American justice system, which, in its infinite wisdom, allowed Dante Stallworth to plead out his DUI-Manslaughter case and sentenced him to thirty days in prison. So, just to recap: killing dogs, two years; killing a human being, thirty days. Now, do not get me wrong, I can not stand the thought of what Michael Vick did. He deserved what he got. But how can we be surprised that people have lost a little faith in our justice system (and think that athletes get a free pass) when something like this happens? Yes, I understand that Stallworth had to pay the family a sizable chunk of change for their civil suit, but that does not change the fact he killed someone, accidentally or not. The dude had a blood alcohol level of .12 . . . at 7 a.m. the next morning. His thirty-day sentence is fifteen days less than Paris Hilton was sentenced to back in 2007 for a simple probation violation. Sure, he will also have to spend two years under house arrest, wearing one of those nice little ankle bracelets (can I get that with diamonds? a Nike logo?), but I would hardly call that "hard time".
What I have to keep reminding myself, however, is that this was a plea bargain. Stallworth agreed to plead guilty for a reduced sentence that was offered to him by the district attorney and agreed to by the presiding judge. Michael Vick did the same thing. So, really, we should be asking the district attorney and judge why they would think this was justice being served; why thirty days for the taking of a person's life is equivalent to two years for animal cruelty of the worst kind. And that is what leaves me scratching my head.
Enough negative talk. It is Friday; a day we are supposed to be happy about. So while I go track down some Tylenol to take the pain away (where the stitches are, I'm no pill popper), here are some things you might have missed:
- Have we already forgotten that Matt Millen was the worst GM in the history of the NFL?
- Mr. Irrelevant now officially Mr. Making-It-Rain.
- Someone needs to turn Ryan Leaf's life into a movie . . . seriously.
- Need a deal on a new car? Call Ed O'Bannon.
- Since Meyer's arrival, you may have noticed that Florida football, while winning lots of games, has had a few (read: 24) run-ins with the law. Now meet their attorney; a guy who puts the word a** in class.
- This guy has a weird way of showing his appreciation for Bill Simmons. [Editor's Note: If you'd prefer to skip the Lakers/Kobe ball-washing, feel free to jump straight to point 4.]
- Are you graduating? Are you graduating? There's no graduating! THERE'S NO GRADUATING IN BASEBALL!
- Ump lets high school players experience life as a Washington Nationals' player.
- The rights to Mel Hall acquired by state of Texas, and for good reason.
- Women . . . loud grunts and groans . . . I am sure there is a joke in here somewhere. [Editor's Note: and here's a game to keep you occupied for a little bit.]
- I hope this guy remembered his swim trunks and his flippie-floppies.
- "But I guess I'd rather be alive than play soccer."
It is always nice to end on a happy note . . . which is why we have videos, and some good ones at that if may take a moment to toot my own horn. There were a lot of candidates this week, and instead of trying to narrow them down, we have decided to let you have all of them (go big or go home, right?). Say good-bye to your afternoon, cause you have some watching to do:
Have a great weekend everyone!
. . . so little time.
When I closed up shop and headed home for the night yesterday, I instantly started thinking about the introduction for today's Link Dump. I had a lot of options. I had a break through in my golf lessons that has me all fired up about getting my game back to pre-law school form (i.e., when I played for my college team). Also, on Tuesday night, I met Pete Carroll. Well, meet might be a strong verb; I really just said hi. My mother always taught me that if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. So I kept my mouth shut [things I could have said included (1) Did you thank Tim Floyd for taking the fall for you?; (b) recruiting a little young these days, aren't we (he was holding a baby)?; or (III) How's that Song Girl coach doing these days?]. I also thought about going with an apology for the lack of original content thus far this summer. I feel like I have been letting all of my avid readers down lately and the guilt is starting to weigh me down. But all of that was trumped by something that is becoming all too common in basketball (both college and professional).
When you are leading by three with less than the length of the shot clock remaining in the game, you foul. You do not let Derek Fisher dribble across center court and pull up for an uncontested three (and you certainly don't walk back to your bench afterwards with a stupid smile on your face while the rest of your team looks shell-shocked; yes, I'm talking to you Jameer Nelson). I have seen it far too many times in basketball games, with last night's Lakers/Magic game equalling that of the 2008 Memphis/Kansas NCAA Championship game. The theory is simple: as soon as the team crosses center court, you foul the person with the ball. They take their two shots from the free throw line and at best, AT BEST, pull their team to within one. You get the ball back, get to burn a second or two more off the clock, and will end up shooting free throws yourself. You make them, and force your opponent to try a desperate long range three to tie, or maybe win if you missed one. Regardless, their last second shot is not going to be easy, and the odds are in your favor.
Why is this so difficult to understand (and why is it so difficult for Boobs McGee to find her seat)? It gets me fired up every time. If I were the Magic, I would fire Stan Van Gundy and cut Jameer Nelson on the spot. I would have done the same with John Calipari in 2008 (well, I would have never even hired Calipari in the first place, but that's just me getting personal). I do not care how much you trust your defense. You take any chance of a tie, no matter how remote, out of the equation. If you allow a team to make a last-second three to send it to overtime, you have roughly a zero percent chance of winning. You could see it in the faces of the Memphis players in 2008 after Collins made his shot, and you could see it last night in the body language of the Magic after Fisher made his. You might as well not even come out for overtime at that point.
Just thinking about that idiotic look on Jameer Nelson's face has got me all fired up again. I need to go for a walk or something. So while I do that, here are some things you might have missed:
- Somehow this piece set off yet another mainstream media attack on the blogging world. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a 42-year-old living in my parents basement . . .
- Fact: you are a d-bag.
- Montana joins Washington, much to the surprise of Idaho.
- Orwellian injury disclosure policy . . . blah, blah, blah . . . shrouds of subterfuge . . . ya-da, ya-da, ya-da . . . damaged testicle . . . wait, what?
- Andy Sandberg, on a boat; Tom Brady, not.
- I can't quit you, Carson.
- Remember when the Rams had one of the most lovable owners in the NFL? That might be about to change.
- Just to recap: he did not kill nobody, or rape nobody. Oh, Manny.
- Remember this ESPN the Magazine commercial? Hopefully they listen to their advice, go with primarily female athletes.
- When running a sportsbook, are you not supposed to make money?
- There is no "I" in "team", but there is a me.
It was a banner week in terms of video entertainment. My sources kept coming up with great stuff from all around the globe. In my opinion, you all are in for quite a treat this week. I am not even going to waste any more of your time and am going to get right to it:
- If you have not seen The Hangover yet, here is some of what you have been missing.
- This Remi fellow, yeah, he is alright (and I am doing fine, thanks for asking).
- Look, I am all for videotaping your child's early years; there are sure to be great memories. But posting things on the Internet so they can then be spliced together into a comedic video is bad form (and we thank you for it).
- This video totally reminded me of Billy Madison, only in real life.
- Steve Nash: better point guard or reporter? You decide.
- No tag line I write will match the greatness of our last video. You. Are. Welcome.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Sorry for last week's lack of a Link Dump (say that ten times fast). Believe you me, there are few things in this world the Chief looks forward to more than a weekend of forced interaction with his entire firm. Anywho, we are back in the game this week.
If you did not notice, the Los Angeles Lakers are back in the NBA Finals. What is that you say? You did notice? My guess is that the eleventy-billion window flags gave it away. Is there anything more annoying than a car with a Lakers window flag? Why yes, a car with a Lakers window flag on both rear windows. Two weekends ago, when I driving home from Palm Springs, I was behind a car that had two window flags on its rear window. Predictably, one of them broke off and hit my car. For a split second, I felt like running the car off the road (not mine, hers . . . it's always women . . . ), but I thought that would be letting the driver off too easy. Instead, I took solace in thought of her reaction when she reached her destination, only to discover one of her beloved window flags had broken off. Probably not a good night to be that girl's main squeeze (though, having seen her, it begs the question: is there ever a good night?).
But more annoying than window flags, is the entitlement complex most fans and the media have about "their" Lakers. They made it this far, so the championship deserves to be theirs; it is as if Boston beating them last year is the greatest travesty of the past twenty years. How are the Lakers not as hated as the Yankees? Lakers fans are just as arrogant. I mean, Orlando has made it this far, why are they not entitled to it? For starters, they clearly have the hotter cheerleaders, and you know that is worth something . . . at least in my book. I know last night's Magic performance does not help my point any, but I do not think Orlando is just going to roll over (I hope). I think they will make a series out of this yet.
Do not get me wrong, the atmosphere in Los Angeles is always great when the Lakers make the Finals, and I hope the Lakers win (after all, I can watch the parade from my office). But lets give the other guys some credit . . . and put away the damn window flags.
So, while I stare out my office window, counting window flags on the passing cars for the rest of the afternoon (if numbers actually go that high), here are some things you might have missed:
- Apparently you can "perfect your game" with Anna Kournikova. I would rather just bid for that date with May Anderson . . . after all, my game is already perfect.
- Twenty-seven points? That is about twenty-seven too many if you ask me.
- Remember those problems with the Phoenix Coyotes we talked about a few weeks ago? Well, I never, ever, ever would have seen this coming. Ever. Shocking.
- Tough decisions must be made in these tough economic times.
- Simmons doing what Simmons does best . . . ball-washing the Red Sox of course. What did you think I meant?
- So, let us see now, looks like all this kid needs to do now is break every MLB record . . . those expectations should not be tough to meet.
- Thankfully Deadspin took the time to (1) track all of SI's "Chosen Ones" and (B) track the moonshot.
- Danica Patrick says what baseball players knew fifteen years ago, takes heat.
- Sosa has hall of fame induction speech all ready to go . . . apparently forgetting that one must be inducted to give said speech.
- "You don't even see that in tee ball." Well played, sir. Well played.
- Memphis probes alleged violations about as well as it shoots free throws.
- I love you Golden State, please [don't] draft me.
- Does that come with a happy ending?
- What are the chances that Brett Favre reads soccer news?
Boy, I do not know about you, but I am still reeling from that Gretzky news (fifty-seven, fifty-eight, sixty). That is just totally unbelievable (sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy). Regardless, let us move on to the more important stuff (eighty-five, eight-six, ninety).
- "And the pigeon is no more" . . .
- . . . which reminds me, congrats to Randy Johnson on his 300th . . . win that is.
- In honor of the upcoming SBC movie, Bruno, here is one of the best Ali G clips of all time (or you could just go and check out the thirteen greatest Bruno moments from the show . . . slightly NSFW).
- Ouch . . . that about sums it up.
- From the Vault: what is that noise?
I think my favorite part of that Randy Johnson video (one hundred ten, one hundred eleven) is the catcher's reaction. Just watch how he bails out of there.
Have a great weekend everyone (one hundred thirty-three, one hundred thirty-four)!
Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that there will be no Link Dump this week. The Chief's firm's annual retreat is this weekend, so he has to be down in San Diego tomorrow morning. Sorry for the inconvenience.
To make it up to you (or at least to the male GameTime, TBD© readers), here is a picture of Marisa Miller for you to stare at for an uncomfortably long period of time:
Well, it is probably safe to say that we are toeing the line with our "family friendly" policy on that one. Oh well. If you are interested in more Marisa (and who isn't?), this site might be helpful.
Just a couple quick items of note before we head out. The Chief would be absolutely appalled if we left our avid readers (both male and female alike this time) with out some sort of entertainment for their Friday afternoons. So, here are some videos to help you out:
Also, remember a few weeks back when we told you all to go over to MLB.com and vote Manny Ramirez in as a starter for the All-Star Game? Well, apparently we were not the only ones who thought that would be funny and the idea is picking up some momentum. So remember to go and vote!
Have a great weekend everyone!
You may have noticed over the past few weeks a few Editor's Notes relating to the speed of the Internet around these parts. When we joke about the 14.4 or 28.8 modems being down and out, we do not necessarily feel like we are joking. There have been discussions around the actual office about bandwidth issues because people are leaving their Internet windows up all day (who on Earth would do such a thing?). Our "experienced" and "professional" IT department (if you can call one person a department), has assured the firm on countless occasions that there is plenty of bandwidth and that everyone else is the problem.
Now, I agree with him that everyone leaving an Internet window open all day will cause continuous traffic across whatever fiber lines they have running through here. But I spent enough summers working at Dad's company to know that a single browser window open on someone's computer should not take use back to the days when we anxiously waited to hear those precious, precious words: "You've got mail!" (YES!) Especially when I pass along the following tale . . .
Last week, one of the firm's managing partners up and quit. He took his team and went to greener pastures. That, in turn, resulted in several support staff members having to be let go because we did not have a need for them anymore (isn't it nice when you can finally fire people you've been dying to fire, and then point the finger at someone else?). So as of today, we are leaner by about ten employees. Which, in theory, should mean ten fewer Internet windows up and running all day and, thus, there should be, on average, more bandwidth available to the entire firm. Yet somehow, the entire network has been running even SLOWER this week. I should have worked from home today before heading out to Palm Springs to be with my buddies. As unreliable as our Verizon DSL is, it sure beats a dial-up modem. Sure, I am leaving early for the long weekend, but I still have my duties (hehe . . . duties) to you, my loyal GameTime, TBD© readers, to attend to.
So, while I check in with the guys who are already in Palm Springs to make sure we have enough sunscreen and beer to get us through the weekend, here are some things you might have missed to get your Memorial Day weekend off on the right foot:
- Where was this when I was in college?
- It is Vancouver. What did you expect the Olympic torch to look like?
- And in related news (related in a very loose sense of the word), coaches, athletes, and prostitutes (wait, what?) are all getting the necessary training for the Olympics.
- Please, Roger Goodell is far too busy dealing with Michael Vick to worry about such trivial problems.
- Hey look, Ryan Leaf is back in the news. For a second there, I was getting worried he had turned over a new leaf (See what I did there?).
- A foursome with Anna Rawson? Yes please.
- Q: What do Callaway and Lance Armstrong have in common? A: Their ball doesn't conform to industry standards. (Editor's Note: great writers steal outright.)
- Would you look at that, something exciting actually happened at a Royals' game.
- No word on whether getting railed by MJ contributed to her illness (Editor's Note: too soon?).
- No word on whether getting railed by MJ contributed to his illness (ba-ZING!).
- You might think a six-page exposé on Professional Bull Riding is a little excessive, but then you get this: "It sounds like fish slapping on pavement." God bless groupies.
- I am sure this was all just one big misunderstanding.
So, I took Dad and Grandma to the Mets/Dodgers game Monday night. Yes, the one where the Mets committed five errors and the Dodgers still needed eleven innings to finish them off. I only bring it up now because it makes for a smooth transition to our video section. You see, Albert Clifford Slater threw out the first pitch of that game (if you could call it a throw). And while I do not know how that pitch will affect his scholarship to Iowa, it certainly does allow for a Saved by the Bell-themed video section:
Have a great long weekend everyone!
No, I am not talking about bad body odor (though, I did work out this morning and may or may not have remembered to put on deodorant . . . just kidding . . . but seriously).
I gave "the staff" the day off in honor of the arrival of the newest member (future writer?) of the GameTime, TBD© family: BBO, my nephew. The little one arrived safe, healthy, and happy (babies are happy when they're born, right? I mean, sure, they cry. But those are tears of joy, right? Anyone?) this morning. That being said, we do not have a lot of time for a drawn out introduction to this week's Link Dump (which, I learned this morning is a hot ticket item . . . the introduction that is . . . apparently it's quite prestigious to be the subject of the Link Dump introduction and now I'm not entirely sure my Better Half is talking to me today. But I am proud of her and all her accomplishments as well. She just has to understand that it is impossible for me to corrupt her at this point in life . . .). I have to get all my actual work done as quickly as possible so I can bounce early and introduce myself to BBO. I have been trying to figure out what to say to him the first time we meet, and here is what I have got thus far:
"Hello, I am your Uncle . . . your cool Uncle that is (not that there was any real competition). The Uncle who is going to teach you things Mom does not want you to know and Dad does not want to get in trouble for teaching you. Speaking of trouble, if you ever get in it (and, knowing your Mom, I'm sure you will), always blame me, even though we know it was probably your Dad's fault. He paid my runner $1,000 cash in an envelope so I would commit to this, so don't forget it. Years from now, you will realize you want to be exactly like me. Who would blame you? However, for your Mother's sake, let's just keep that between you and me."
Welcome to the world little man. Here are some things that happened during the week of your birth:
- I disagree (circle gets the square).
- I would say that bad decision is worth more than $4.8 million.
- *cough* Shotgun wedding *cough* *cough*.
- Greg Paulus's relationship with his center is about to get a whole lot more personal.
- Right Darren, the first thing I noticed was that she is a professional volleyball player.
- North Carolina A&T: currently the best team in college football.
- I am sure this has nothing to do with the fact that Sam Keller was not drafted by anyone in the NFL.
- Remember when hot Russians were supposed to start dominating women's tennis and then they did not? Looks like they have moved on to something else.
- Jockeys will do anything to beat a drug test . . . yes, you read that correctly, jockeys.
- Boy, if I had a nickel for every time my rugby team staged a group orgy . . .
It is a really exciting day around here, and I have actually been looking forward to the video portion of this week's Link Dump since Monday. Originally I was going to go with only one video because, well, it is THAT good. But because today is celebration, I have decided to celebrate with a few extras.
- How has this pitcher not been called up yet?
- "A comeback is like a yo-yo. You're gonna go down, but you're coming right back up . . . . and then you may end up walking the dog."
- This is the one. You can thank me later.
Have a great weekend everyone!
[Update: if you want to see the uncensored version of that last video and don't have a Hulu account, I've created one for GameTime, TBD© readers. Username: GameTimeTBD; Password: gametime. Creative, I know.]
[Editor's Note: if the office's 14.4 modem doesn't get its act together, I'm going to have to start drafting GameTime, TBD©'s Link Dump on Thursday night, and then I miss out on the Friday morning news cycle. So let's hope the office decides to upgrade to a 28.8 soon, or maybe even a 56k . . . if we're lucky.]
True story: two weeks ago, my office building put up a huge advertisement for the Dodgers with a picture of Manny Ramirez and the headline "Mannywood" on our parking garage. It is still there, but for how much longer is any one's guess.
I would like take this opportunity to dust off my soap box for a few minutes and wax poetic about recent events. The news of Manny's fifty-game, $7.6 million, suspension (I hope payroll checks never expire . . . see paragraph 3) broke yesterday morning. It took all of about 3.729 seconds for the sports commentators and bloggers of the world to begin the Manny-bashing parade, a parade that has at least continued on through the night and into this morning. It was not long before even life-long Red Sox apologist Bill Simmons was questioning the 2004 and 2007 World Championships his boys won. So, let me get this part out of the way. Am I disappointed by this recent development? Yes, I fell in love with "Manny being Manny" as much as every other Dodger fan. Do I believe he did not know what he was taking? Of course not, I am not dumb. But do I blame him for doing what he did? No way.
Everyone wants to say that the fans are the ones who are getting hurt the most by this. Give me a break. When fans go to a game, they want to see the long ball (I'm definitely in the minority of fans who love a good pitchers duel). The fans know what is going on in locker rooms and training facilities all over the world. You know who gets hurt the most by this? Barry Bonds (wait, what?). I was at the Oakland Coliseum for the last out of the 1994 season, as the players' strike began. That strike really hurt baseball, and it has never been same. When the strike was resolved, fans did not come back (the NHL should have taken notes). It was not until the Summer of 1998 that fans began returning; not until Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa began their "epic" chase to break the single-season home run record, which both would ultimately do. Nobody seemed to notice at the time that both McGwire and Sosa's uniforms were practically bursting at the seems. It did not matter, because baseball was fun again and two of its most likeable players had put it back on the map.
But everything was different for Bonds. Bonds had the type of personality that tended to rub people the wrong way (myself included). So when he broke the lovable Mark McGwire's record in 2001, all of the sudden we had to start questioning how he did it. And just like that, Bonds became the scapegoat for Major League Baseball. League officials and team owners turned a blind-eye for years because they were making money like never before. And rather than point the finger at themselves, they started a which hunt and pointed their fingers squarely at Bonds. It only got worse for Bonds as he approached, and ultimately broke, Hank Aaron's career home run record. And now the guy will never play in the big leagues again. Do not think for one second that I like Barry Bonds, I do not. But it is for reasons completely unrelated to his juicing. Major League Baseball got exactly what it deserved when Bonds broke Aaron's record, and it is getting what it deserves every time a big-name player tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs. And you want me to feel bad for the fans or for the game itself?
Give me a break. When Ramirez returns on July 3rd, he will be welcomed back with open arms. More scrutiny, yes, but open arms nonetheless; just like A-Rod tonight. Hell, Ramirez's name still appears on the All Star Game ballot. In fact, I want you all to join me in my quest to vote for Manny Ramirez so that he is selected as a starter, by the fans, for the game. How are you going to explain that one Mr. Selig?
Okay, enough of that, I am getting all fired up. While I try to calm down, here are some other things you might have missed:
- Thirteen days to finish a marathon? You, sir, can take all the time you want.
- Need some hitting advice? Go see this blind dude . . . wait, what?
- Dear Mr. Bettman, We are broke. Love, The Coyotes.
- Oops.
- As an avid gambler (should I be admitting that?), this pains me greatly.
- For some reason, I am not surprised that this is only a misdemeanor in Alabama.
- John Wall signs letter-of-intent to play for N.C. State.
- Zach Greinke, a winner on and off the field.
- Matt Garza, Bristol Palin, and Hayden Panettierre walk into a room . . . stop me if you have heard this one before.
- The best toilets $51 million can buy.
- Apparently high prices are not the only reason seats are empty at the new Yankee Stadium.
- Sorry ladies, Bruce Pearl is off the market.
- "But I’ve never been as passionate as I am now. Before a game, I’m crazed, sending mass e-mails: ‘Please pray for Tony’s protection.’" Wow, that Tony Romo is one lucky dude.
I would say it has been a pretty good week, no? Well, it is about to get even better (at least in my opinion). We got some good stuff lined up for your weekly viewing enjoyment. I hope you enjoy:
Have a great weekend everyone (and a "Happy Mother's Day" to all you moms and moms-to-be out there)!
[Editor's Note: the office's 28.8 dial-up modem is on the fritz this morning, so I apologize if there are any issues with this week's Link Dump. I have not been able to confirm whether are links are still active. Feel free to let me know if you come across a dead link.]
Did anyone else out there feel like this week was never going to end? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Anyone?
I do not know about you, but I thought Friday was never going to get here. So, when I woke up this morning to discover that it was, in deed, Friday, I was a little excited. Who am I kidding, I was a lot excited. And now I have all of you thinking "What does BAP have planned for the weekend?" We all have things that get us a little extra amped for the weekend, and this weekend is no exception.
Some of you out there probably have special plans for this evening. Others probably just want to celebrate the fact it is weekend. But I am amped up for a completely different reason. For starters, I am driving up to my parents tonight after work (crazy exciting, I know). The reason I am driving up is twofold: (1) I desperately need a haircut and, as a creature of habit, still go to the same stylist I have been going to since high school; and (b) I finally get to use my Boom Stick. Get your mind out of the gutter people. It is not like I am going to Senior Prom or anything. I got a new driver last weekend [2009 Taylor Made (You Hooked Up With a) Burner] and I am finally going to unleash the beast tomorrow late-morning/early-afternoon when I play a round of golf with Dad. Is it sad that I get this excited about a new golf club? Probably. But just remember, there is no better sport for sexual innuendos (in-her-end-OH?) than golf, and I know those last two sentences made you giggle just a little. No? Bummer. More importantly, I am just excited about the opportunity to spend some time with Dad. Do not get me wrong, I see my parents quite frequently, but there is something about being able to spend five hours with Coach.
So, while I am busy spending the afternoon thinking about driving my wood right down the fairway (ba-ZING), here are some things you might have missed:
- Someone took the time to write the most amazing Lions draft recap ever . . . and that someone was me.
- You would think there are better ways for Congress to spend its Friday.
- Mike Leach wants you to know how feels . . . not once, but twice (bonus points if you can spot the irony).
- Your tailgate will never be the same.
- Hey ladies, let me know if you have a birthday coming up.
- Chris Cooley continues to be one of my favorite NFL players.
- I do not care when the first round of the NFL draft is next year, from here on out, I am a NFL Network guy.
- Strange things are afoot in the desert.
- Pittsburgh and Washington will have, at most, four periods to decide game.
- With the Kentucky Derby going off this weekend, let us look back at some of the . . . err . . . "more memorable" horse names in Kentucky Derby history.
- NBA to Ohio State blogging sensation Mark Titus (of Club Trillion fame): "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
- The new (and improved?) John Daly.
- And just like that, women's' tennis is relevant again.
- A word of advice: if you are going to sleep with a teenager, it is best that you do not argue with your husband over it.
- Like, cheerleading tryouts are, like, always so dramatic and stuff (sadly, my high school was no exception)
Enough of the petty high school drama, let us get to the important stuff. Do not think I am stupid; I know the real reason you stop by every Friday. It is the videos, and I do not blame you (and I hope you enjoyed the extra two are already threw in for you):
Have a great weekend everyone!
Here is a direct quote from our "And Just Like That . . . " post, dated April 9, 2009: "[The Chief] will also, of course, recap what is inevitably going to be a debacle of an NFL draft for the Detroit Lions."
Do not get me wrong, I love . . . nay . . . LOVE to be right (just ask my family or, more importantly, my Better Half). However, believe you me, I would l-o, l-o, l-o, l-o-v-e to have been wrong about this one. Unfortunately, what transpired last Saturday and Sunday might well have been the most obvious thing in the history of obvious things. After all, what did William Clay Ford, Sr. do after he fired Matt Millen, arguably the worst GM in the history of sports? He replaced him with Martin Mayhew, Millen's right-hand man during his tenure. And people wonder why Ford Motor Company is in so much trouble?
Let me get this out of the way: I get why they drafted Matthew Stafford. I do not necessarily agree with the pick, but I get that the Lions did not want to be known as "The Team That Passed on Stafford" in the event he becomes a franchise quarterback. But being taken early in the first round has, historically, been a curse for quarterbacks. John Elway, Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan, those are the exception, not the rule. And answer me this, Mr. Ford: how can you be willing to pay a player $78-million over the next six years (with $41.7-million guaranteed) when he has taken the exact same number of snaps in the NFL as I have? [Do not get me wrong, I am a "rare" physical specimen and could have just as easily won as many games for the Lions as their quarterbacks did last year . . . but I digress] I have nothing against Matthew Stafford. For obvious reasons, I hope he turns out to be one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game. But would I have taken him with the first overall pick?
No way! Granted, the Lions have so many holes they could have drafted a player at any position and it would have helped them. But why go with quarterback when (1) everyone is saying Daunte Culpepper looked great at the mini-camp; (b) your track record with "skill position" players over the past ten years is by no means great; and (iii) you have no offensive line to block for him? Having a fit, healthy, and confident Culpepper means you have a very serviceable, if not, above-average quarterback in your system. Culpepper was at his best in Minnesota when he had the deep threat of Randy Moss to lob the ball to and you have that here in Calvin Johnson, the only skill position pick the Lions got right. Culpepper has had the entire offseason to learn the new offense and there is no reason to think he can not perform better this season than he did last. Now, if the Lions came out and said they were not going to start Stafford at all this season, I might feel better. But we know that is not going to happen when they are paying the kid that much money and they need to sell tickets (paging Joey Harrington).
Speaking of Joey Harrington, let us take a moment to look back at the Lions' first round picks since 2000 (when the Millen regime took over): 2000 - Stockar McDougle, OT (currently a free agent); 2001 - Jeff Backus, OT (has never missed a game in career, 128 consecutive starts); 2002 - Joey Harrington, QB (back-up for N.O. Saints, 4th team of career); 2003 - Charles Rogers, WR (15 games, 36 catches, 4 TDs over 3 seasons; no longer in league); 2004 - Roy Williams, WR (59 TDs over 4+ seasons; traded to Dallas), Kevin Jones, RB (now with Chicago, what to do with his old jersey . . .); 2005 - Mike Williams, WR (about what you would expect from a Trojan, no longer in league); 2006 - Ernie Sims, LB (has started all 48 games during 3-year career, 456 tackles, defensive captain); 2007 - Calvin Johnson, WR (stud); 2008 - Gosder Cherilus, OT (pronounced GOS-der, SHARE-uh-luss; started 13 games as a rookie and played in all 16).
As you run through that list, a pattern begins to emerge. With the exception of one "skill position" pick (Calvin Johnson), the best first-round picks made by the Lions have been on the offensive line or defense. Those picks remain a productive part of the team. So after an 0-16 season, why would you not want to play it safe and take a player that was guaranteed to make a difference? Jason Smith or Aaron Curry sure would have looked good in those "snazzy" new uniforms. But as I said before, I can at least see why they drafted Stafford. And why worry? The Lions still had another first round pick and, while most draft experts thought this was a weaker draft class in general, the draft was deep at offensive tackle and linebacker. So that is why it was a no-brainer for the Lions to take Brandon Pettigrew, a tight end, with the twentieth overall pick. Really? REALLY? I recorded the first day of the draft for THIS? Rest assured, the Lions did take an offensive tackle . . . in the SEVENTH round (only 228th overall). But do not worry, Mel Kiper wants us to know that Lydon Murtha has tremendous upside potential. Boy, I feel better knowing (1) Mel Kiper likes this pick, and (b) Murtha is blessed with tremendous upside potential.
Maybe I am missing something with the Pettigrew pick. Everyone is saying that he is the best blocking tight end to come out (a tight end coming out . . . hehehe) in the past five years. Maybe the Lions are planning on going with six lineman all season; interesting strategy.
Thankfully, because I had recorded the draft, I could fast forward through everything to get to the Lions second-round pick. With James Laurinaitis and Rey "I Really Don't Have to Want to Like a Trojan" Maualuga still on the board, the Lions were destined to pick the new anchor of their defense for years to come. That is, of course, why they picked Louis Delmas, the top safety in the draft. Okay, if Delmas proves to be the second coming of Bob Sanders, this pick will not bother me as much as, say, oh, I do not know, Brandon Pettigrew. Seriously, I almost threw my remote through the television.
In the end, the Lions' draft looked like this:
1st Round - Matthew Stafford, QB; Brandon Pettigrew, TE
2nd Round - Louis Delmas, S
3rd Round - DeAndre Levy, OLB; Derrick Williams, WR
4th Round - Sammy Lee Hill, DT
6th Round - Aaron Brown, RB
7th Round - Lydon Murtha, OT; Zach Follett, OLB; Dan Gronkowski, TE
You read that right. All those holes to fill and the Lions drafted a wide receiver in the third round and ANOTHER tight end in seventh round. I have done zero research on what I am about to say, but I am roughly 93.724% positive it is an accurate statement: the Lions are the first team to draft two (2) tight ends in the same draft. I will get my "research department" to look that up eventually.
Different year, same story with my Detroit Lions. It is hard to believe that twenty years ago the Lions took Barry Sanders in the first round. I know things can not get any worse, but I really thought the Lions might be ready to make a change for the better for once, to start moving in the right direction. I guarantee the Lions will win a game this season, but, looking at their schedule, that might not come until week eight against the St. Louis Rams. That means their losing streak could reach twenty-three games (Week 17 of 2007 season through Week 8 of 2009 season). Ouch. And if that happens, if the Lions start 0-3, 0-4, or 0-5, then you know we will see Stafford early on. And if that happens (is there an echo in here?), I guess we will see if Stafford is everything the management thinks he is, or if he will assume his place along side Joey Harrington as a promising young talent whose confidence was destroyed by an owner who could not afford to leave that much money holding a clipboard on the sideline.
Congrats to you William Clay Ford, Sr., Martin Mayhew, and Tim Lewand. You did what no one thought was possible. You drafted as if Matt Millen was still running the show, ensuring the Lions will fail to have a winning record for the ump-teenth consecutive season (or 9th, whatever) and will miss the playoffs for the tenth consecutive season. At least you are consistent.
While I try to find a sliver of hope somewhere in the Lions' 2009 draftees, I can not help but wonder if there is anyone out there who is happy the Lions selected Stafford first overall. Who am I kidding? Of course there is: Sam Bradford.
