Life Day

Unfortunately, my dear readers, I have to a "Life Day" today. It is a little different than a personal day, because were I to be home sick, I still would be willing to provide you with your weekly dose of entertainment, more commonly referred to a Link Dump. However, today is a Life Day because I will traveling next week for work and have a lot of stuff to get done before I go. I am hoping to be able to provide you with at least some entertainment next week from the road, as I also have a family vacation coming up that will prevent me from tending to my duties.

But I do not want you leave totally empty-handed, so I would like to leave you with a small question I have been debating with myself all week. I am sure you are all familiar with "The Most Interesting Man in the World" ad campaign for Dos Equis beer. Admittedly, I think they do a pretty good job with them. The actor looks like a pretty interesting guy and I usually find his various "feats" pretty entertaining. But after hearing one of the commercials on my drive into work on Monday morning, some struck me as odd. The tag line of the commercials, as I am sure you know, is "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Read that one more time and see if anything strikes you as odd . . . [tick, tock, tick, tock] . . .

Okay, so here is the thing, he does not always drink beer (totally understandable, I see the Most Interesting Man in the World as more of a $300 bottle of wine, 18 year old Scotch, or maybe even a Courvoiser type of guy). But when he does drink beer, he only prefers Dos Equis. So that means, when he decides to drink beer, he only prefers to drink it, but does not drink it all the time. So what am I supposed to think of Dos Equis now? They have these entertaining commercials about a cool guy, and they can not even say that whenever he drinks beer, it is always Dos Equis? I thought when you advertise your product you are supposed to make it seem like the best, no? Admittedly, I enjoy a Dos Equis every now and then (usually of the Amber variety), but now I am thinking maybe I should go a different direction. I mean, if the company that sells the beer can not even have the character it created (again, dubbed The Most Interesting Man in the World) always drink the beer, should I be concerned?

Anyways, that is what has been keeping me up late at night this week. Sorry we do not have more for you this week. We will back in full swing as soon as possible.

Oh, and just because I can not see it enough, here is DeWayne Wise's perfect-game-saving catch from yesterday afternoon.

Have a great weekend everyone!

It Is Just One of Those Days

As I was finishing getting ready for work this morning, my Better Half said: "I'm sorry for making you get that growth removed." While I am by no means upset with her, the truth of the matter is I have been very frustrated for the past few weeks now. Please, allow me to explain.

I had a mass on my upper left chest biopsied last summer before my wedding. I had always joked that it was just my third nipple, but the truth of the matter is I did not want to get it checked out in case it was something bad. But I finally went through with it and it turned out it was just some scar tissue expanding because it was being directly fed by a blood vessel. Well, it grew back over the course of the year, and I finally had it completely removed in mid-June (if this seems like a massive over-share, please feel free to skip to the good stuff below). It was a quick procedure. Ten minutes, one running stitch, and three regular stitches later and I was good to go. Doc said it was stitches for two weeks and back to normal. Well, if you know me, it is never normal when it comes to medical stuff.

The stitches came out on July 3rd. By July 9th, I was back at the good doc's office because the scar had not stayed a scar so much as become a massive open wound (again, feel free to skip ahead). So now I am week-to-week, getting it checked out every week to see how it is progressing and they are using sterile suture strips to keep it from expanding too fast. I tell you all this because I have not been sleeping well lately (have to sleep on my back), and I can not do any of the activities I enjoy and do not know when I will get back to them. I have not been able to swing a golf club for a month (I can neither confirm nor deny reports that I have taken a few swings at one point during the recovery), I have not been able to train for the triathlon I am signed up for because I can not swim, and I have been told to generally limit the use of my left arm. Have I ever mentioned I am left-handed?

So, the long and short of it is that I have been pretty frustrated over the past few weeks, and kind of depressed. But I was even more bummed out that my Better Half thought it was her fault. While she encouraged me to do it, I still made the decision myself. And I will live with it, get through it, and move on . . . eventually. For the time being, however, I get the joy of providing you all with your weekly dose of entertainment, sports style. So, here are some things you might have missed:

• God bless the person at UK's GQ magazine who thought it would be a good idea to put Marisa Miller in a bath tub. [Editor's note: borderline NSFW]
• It is nice to see the NCAA is finally mandating health insurance for college athletes . . . in the cryptic, completely unintelligible way that only the NCAA can do.
• Boy, it is really nice of the Detroit Lions to offer us the opportunity to relive the 2008 season . . .
• Someone should have told Steve McNair about LegalZoom.com.
• I was shocked, SHOCKED, to discover the NFL is not a fan of sports betting.
• The headline says it all: "Coach Fired After Parents Drink Beers". Yup, you read that right.
• No surprise here, it turns out the Cubs' failure extends beyond the field.
• Turns out his name was Bob Johnson and he was 30 years old.
• Minor league teams keep trying to one-up each other with promotions. Do we have a new leader in the clubhouse?
• This guy was "forced to open a brothel". Right, I am sure he really hemmed-and-hawed over that one.
• "It's good for business, it's good for the environment - and it's good for the girls."
• Ah, the old "inadvertent contamination in a nightclub" defense. Works every time!
• Your stupid criminal of the week story is sponsored by Great Britain.
• Congrats to Phil Ivey for finally making the final table at the WSOP Main Event. Go get 'em Phil!

Believe you me, I was worried about posting that Marisa Miller picture first. I was concerned you might not make through the rest of the post. If you did make it (read: if you're one of my female readers), we have got a good variety of clips for your weekly view entertainment. Hopefully your network is running faster than the old 14.4, otherwise you might as well right off the rest of your day right now. Here is what we have got for you:

• I was most impressed with the Rubik's Cube, clapping, and cup stacking.
• You could set any video to the Requiem For a Dream theme and I am sure I would like it. Basketball trick shots? Sure, why not?
• Lay out for it!
• Okay Brazilians, we get it, you are good at soccer (and at removing "unwanted" hair . . . ba-ZING!).
• Romosexuals of the world put on suicide watch as it is revealed Tony is just not that funny.
• Alright Hitler, I do not mind that you are siding with Jessica Simpson on this one. But calling Megan Fox overrated? That is where I draw the line.
• I forgot to keep you all in the Tweet Boxx loop. Here are episodes two, three, and four.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Get Over Yourself

[Editor's Note: sorry there was nothing up last Friday. Apparently the "save now" button is different from the "publish post" button . . . who knew? So I had a nice little 4th of July post featuring Lou Gehrig's "luckiest man on the face of the Earth" speech given on July 4, 1939 that went totally unpublished. My bad.]

There is a little phrase in the "business" that you might have heard: burying the lead. It refers usually to an article or segment in which the author bores the reader for a while before dropping the bomb. That is not our style here at GameTime, TBD©, especially when the story is one we feel is deserving of comment. It is very likely that most of you have already heard about the college kid who dunked on LeBron and Nike's subsequent pitiful attempt at justifying a cover-up. Too bad for them, Ryan Miller (no relation to Ryan Miller, Buffalo Sabres goalie) knows how to read. Go figure.

Before I get to my point, a little disclaimer: I have know idea what it is like to be a world-wide superstar (as far as you know . . .). It is sad to me that Nike, which has gone out of its way to make brands out of the likes of LeBron James and Tiger Woods, attempts to control every aspect of these peoples, which usually ends up making things worse. They are so concerned about image, that they forget these are people. I have had two opportunities to be in close proximity to Tiger; once when he was by himself and once when his Nike handler was present. During the latter encounter, it was like Tiger's less-personable, not as fun twin brother had showed up. I get it Nike, you have invested hundreds of millions of dollars in this guy. However, last time I checked, the Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery. I do not think you have to worry about Tiger doing something to tarnish your image, unless you think winning every tournament he enters will tarnish your image, or hitting shots that are a Nike advertisement in-and-of-themselves (though, he could use a few "high-fiving" lessons).

So, instead of dehumanizing these people who are making you millions of dollars in profit, why not humanize them instead? I get it, you think LeBron is the greatest thing to come along since sliced bread; and no one will deny that he is an amazing basketball player. And now some college kid has gone out there and dunked on him. Oh no, stop the press, Armageddon is upon us. I am not positive but I think I once read about Nostradamus predicting such an event will result in Earth's gravitational forces being pulled out of whack, thus resulting in the end of human life as we know. Or, at least, that is what all your actions seem to indicate is going to happen. He got dunked on, big deal. Poor Frederic Weis has to live with this for the rest of his life, but something tells me he will survive. Let Jordan Crawford have his fifteen minutes of fame, even if it is at LeBron's expense. From what I hear, the kid was even wearing LeBron's shoes. So why would you not want that out there? I would not think less of LeBron because of it, and I am pretty sure most everyone else out there feels the same way. I would even go so far as to say that letting LeBron make fun of himself with this might make him even more appealable.

Nike, it is time to get over yourself. Oh, an it is also time to learn that it is okay to let Tiger sign more than five autographs at a time. He does not have to sign one for me, but I saw more than a few kids out there who think Tiger stiffed them on an autograph when really it was his handler moving him along. Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I think it is time I go burn all my Nike golf gear and replace it with Adidas gear . . . er . . . maybe I should think about it for a while first. So, while I consider the pros and cons of that, here are some things you might have missed:

• I had such high hopes for this "Best Bikini Body" bracket, but then I saw they had Marisa Miller as an 11-seed in a bracket with Jennifer Aniston as a 1-seed. You are telling me this is ten seeds better than this? I must still be drunk from last night.
• Our thoughts and prayers go out to Phil Mickelson yet again. That guy can not catch a break (though he still has no problem catching a donut or two . . . too soon?).
• Monty 1, Pirates (not of Pittsburgh) 0.
• SI wrote a timely piece on PEDs in sports . . . 40 years ago.
• I am sure the government will help Lenny Dykstra blow through bankruptcy just like it did GM.
• I am sure the people of Florida will have no problem footing the $2.4 billion (yes, with a "b") bill for the Marlins' new stadium, what with our booming economy and all.
• I caught a foul ball once (if by caught you mean garbing it after it bounced of my Brother-in-Law and landed in my Dad's lap while he hid like a little girl) and gave it to my Grandma for free. And somehow I think that relates to this.
• When the hearings for my Supreme Court nomination begin, you better believe David Cone will be on my witness list. Wait, what?
• It is good to see Ochocinco and the NFL getting along so well.
• The United Football League wants you to get excited about their "enhancements".
• I am at a loss for words right now. These people wanted to lose their money in Vegas and Vegas said no thanks?
• This story is from Georgia . . . enough said.
• And this story is from Rick Reilly . . . too much said.
• If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. A tree branch, however, is a whole different story.
• A word of warning for anyone traveling to Australia anytime soon: they take their pooping in hotel hallways very seriously over there.

Alright, I thought it over, and I feel it would be just a little too expensive for me burn all of my Nike golf stuff and replace it. But I will gladly listen to sponsorship offers from any golf companies who would like to force the issue. With my game in such great shape right now, it will only be a matter of time before my phone is ringing off the hook. Speaking of off the hook, that is exactly what this week's collection of videos is:

• "Taking some punishment" (that is not a euphemism).
• This girl can handle my driver anytime she wants (that may or may not be . . . you decide).
• Le Tour de France is back, time for a video of a professional biker and a corner.
• Looks like I will have to find a new place to get my tiny guitars and novelty sombreros. Thankfully, however, Vegas already has the three-foot plastic margarita glasses. [Editor's Note: language is borderline NSFW . . . if people speak Spanish.]
• Bruno comes out today and . . . would you look at that . . . Bruno did the Top 10 List on last night's Letterman.
• Something tells me this is not real; but I will let you be the judge.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Somedays The Intro Just Writes Itself

It is odd what we can remember and what we can not. For some reason, I can still recall where I was when I heard the news that Chris Farley, of all people, had died (for the record, I was driving home from the local mall with mom . . . it probably helps that it was the day after my seventeenth birthday as well). I was a big fan of Farley's movies and his physical style of comedy. It was the suddenness with which the news broke that has permanently left that image ingrained in my head.

Like that day in December 1997, I will always remember that I was sitting at my desk in my office on June 25, 2009 when I received the following text from My Better Half: "wow, farrah fawcett and michael jackson both in one day" (am I the only person on this planet who makes the painstaking effort to ensure that even my text message's are grammatically correct?). I had heard that Fawcett had passed away. Most people knew it was coming after a long battle with cancer. And I had heard that Jackson had been taken to the hospital, but I had assumed it was just another one of his random illnesses. I did not even notice that, apparently, several of the support staff members of my firm were visibly shaken by the news. I can not say I was ever a huge Jackson 5 or Michael Jackson fan, but as a music lover/former performer, I appreciated the music and, to this day, have a good number of their songs on my iPod. I will even go so far as to say my favorite music video of all time is one of Jackson's (and, no, it's not Thriller). And while I may not be the biggest Jackson fan (mostly because all of his other issues factor in with me), I can not deny the global impact he had; the way he brought people of different cultures, religions, and nationalities together. And he truly was the greatest performer, at least of this generation. Even with all his legal issues of the past few years, the tributes currently going on around the world are all well deserved.

And now, to the less important, but more likely to make you smile portion of our weekly Link Dump. Here are some things you might have missed:

• A draft lottery of . . .er . . . different sorts. The kind of sorts we men prefer (if you get my drift *wink*).
• The highlight of last night's NBA draft? Kevin Love's tweets of course. Questioning of your organization's decision-making process? Check. Calling the organization outright crazy? Check. Realizing that is probably not the best career move? Check. Cracking a joke at David Stern's expense? He saved the best for last.
• Jeff Jordan makes a wise decision in what I can only imagine is a no-win situation.
  
• Mike Garrett thinks highly of himself (what would you expect from a Trojan?). Thankfully, the rest of us have a brain.
• A photo gallery of the Oregon Ducks' new football jerseys. No, this is not a repeat of 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 . . .
• It was an exciting week for recreational golfers: (1) they should have probably just let him play through; and (b) nothing like a DUI in your golf cart.
• Speaking of golf, do you often find yourself getting it confused with another . . . shall we say . . . "recreational activity"?
• Your sexist comment of the week goes to . . . (*spins wheel*) . . . Lleyton Hewitt. Congratulations Lleyton, enjoy the next week on the couch instead of in bed with her.
• Just to recap: killing a man, thirty days; stealing Lance Armstrong's bike, three years.
• Hey ladies, have a couple . . . err . . . problem spots you would like taken care of? Well, the Mahoning Valley Scrappers have a fan giveaway for you.

When I think of the "King of Pop", I can not help but think of some of the amazing music videos he made. Whether it be Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean, or Scream, they were are all pretty amazing. But there is still one that, in my opinion, tops them all. So we start this week's video portion of the Link Dump with my tribute to MJ:

• "You've been hit by . . . (dun, dun) . . . you've been hit by . . ."
  
• Listened to FM radio this morning on the drive into work (once DP was over), heard a little Boston, was reminded of this.
• Mash-ups of classic press-conference moments never get old, especially when they are good.
• Conan O'Brien is supposedly loosing viewership in the fly-over states. I wonder why?
• We are tweet-happy this week (caution: some strong language).
• Apparently that bat trick from last week was just the warm-up to this.

Have a great weekend everyone!

There's Never Any Time

It has been one crazy week. My Better Half and I are getting ready to move tomorrow morning, which means I have spent all week packing up the "old" place. I also thought it would be a good time to get a lump of scar tissue removed, which means I am down to one arm during this whole process. So, between those two tasks and, of course, actual work (wait, what?), it has been a crazy week. That has left me feeling like there is no time, like there is never any time, and like I will never get into Stanford. Oh well, my college years were pretty solid as is, I guess I will just have to live with it. But rest assured, my dear readers, that, come hell or high water, at least once a week I will still have time for you. For no person should be forced to endure a Friday without a Link Dump brought to you by the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD©.

And what a week it was. The most valuable player of the week had to be the American justice system, which, in its infinite wisdom, allowed Dante Stallworth to plead out his DUI-Manslaughter case and sentenced him to thirty days in prison. So, just to recap: killing dogs, two years; killing a human being, thirty days. Now, do not get me wrong, I can not stand the thought of what Michael Vick did. He deserved what he got. But how can we be surprised that people have lost a little faith in our justice system (and think that athletes get a free pass) when something like this happens? Yes, I understand that Stallworth had to pay the family a sizable chunk of change for their civil suit, but that does not change the fact he killed someone, accidentally or not. The dude had a blood alcohol level of .12 . . . at 7 a.m. the next morning. His thirty-day sentence is fifteen days less than Paris Hilton was sentenced to back in 2007 for a simple probation violation. Sure, he will also have to spend two years under house arrest, wearing one of those nice little ankle bracelets (can I get that with diamonds? a Nike logo?), but I would hardly call that "hard time".

What I have to keep reminding myself, however, is that this was a plea bargain. Stallworth agreed to plead guilty for a reduced sentence that was offered to him by the district attorney and agreed to by the presiding judge. Michael Vick did the same thing. So, really, we should be asking the district attorney and judge why they would think this was justice being served; why thirty days for the taking of a person's life is equivalent to two years for animal cruelty of the worst kind. And that is what leaves me scratching my head.

Enough negative talk. It is Friday; a day we are supposed to be happy about. So while I go track down some Tylenol to take the pain away (where the stitches are, I'm no pill popper), here are some things you might have missed:

• Have we already forgotten that Matt Millen was the worst GM in the history of the NFL?
• Mr. Irrelevant now officially Mr. Making-It-Rain.
• Someone needs to turn Ryan Leaf's life into a movie . . . seriously.
  
• Need a deal on a new car? Call Ed O'Bannon.
• Since Meyer's arrival, you may have noticed that Florida football, while winning lots of games, has had a few (read: 24) run-ins with the law. Now meet their attorney; a guy who puts the word a** in class.
• This guy has a weird way of showing his appreciation for Bill Simmons. [Editor's Note: If you'd prefer to skip the Lakers/Kobe ball-washing, feel free to jump straight to point 4.]
  
• Are you graduating? Are you graduating? There's no graduating! THERE'S NO GRADUATING IN BASEBALL!
• Ump lets high school players experience life as a Washington Nationals' player.
• The rights to Mel Hall acquired by state of Texas, and for good reason.
• Women . . . loud grunts and groans . . . I am sure there is a joke in here somewhere. [Editor's Note: and here's a game to keep you occupied for a little bit.]
• I hope this guy remembered his swim trunks and his flippie-floppies.
• "But I guess I'd rather be alive than play soccer."

It is always nice to end on a happy note . . . which is why we have videos, and some good ones at that if may take a moment to toot my own horn. There were a lot of candidates this week, and instead of trying to narrow them down, we have decided to let you have all of them (go big or go home, right?). Say good-bye to your afternoon, cause you have some watching to do:

• Models . . . on a roller coaster . . . in their underwear. You. Are. Welcome.
• I really would have thought this tragic news would have gotten more national attention.
• You should not laugh at this. Unfortunately, you will.
• Your "FAIL" videos of the week brought to you by a referee and a news anchor.
• I always felt Gus Johnson would make an excellent golf announcer.
  
• I watched this video at least five times before I believed it was real.
• SVP proving, once again, he is too good for the Evil Empire.

Have a great weekend everyone!

So Much To Say . . .

. . . so little time.

When I closed up shop and headed home for the night yesterday, I instantly started thinking about the introduction for today's Link Dump. I had a lot of options. I had a break through in my golf lessons that has me all fired up about getting my game back to pre-law school form (i.e., when I played for my college team). Also, on Tuesday night, I met Pete Carroll. Well, meet might be a strong verb; I really just said hi. My mother always taught me that if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. So I kept my mouth shut [things I could have said included (1) Did you thank Tim Floyd for taking the fall for you?; (b) recruiting a little young these days, aren't we (he was holding a baby)?; or (III) How's that Song Girl coach doing these days?]. I also thought about going with an apology for the lack of original content thus far this summer. I feel like I have been letting all of my avid readers down lately and the guilt is starting to weigh me down. But all of that was trumped by something that is becoming all too common in basketball (both college and professional).

When you are leading by three with less than the length of the shot clock remaining in the game, you foul. You do not let Derek Fisher dribble across center court and pull up for an uncontested three (and you certainly don't walk back to your bench afterwards with a stupid smile on your face while the rest of your team looks shell-shocked; yes, I'm talking to you Jameer Nelson). I have seen it far too many times in basketball games, with last night's Lakers/Magic game equalling that of the 2008 Memphis/Kansas NCAA Championship game. The theory is simple: as soon as the team crosses center court, you foul the person with the ball. They take their two shots from the free throw line and at best, AT BEST, pull their team to within one. You get the ball back, get to burn a second or two more off the clock, and will end up shooting free throws yourself. You make them, and force your opponent to try a desperate long range three to tie, or maybe win if you missed one. Regardless, their last second shot is not going to be easy, and the odds are in your favor.

Why is this so difficult to understand (and why is it so difficult for Boobs McGee to find her seat)? It gets me fired up every time. If I were the Magic, I would fire Stan Van Gundy and cut Jameer Nelson on the spot. I would have done the same with John Calipari in 2008 (well, I would have never even hired Calipari in the first place, but that's just me getting personal). I do not care how much you trust your defense. You take any chance of a tie, no matter how remote, out of the equation. If you allow a team to make a last-second three to send it to overtime, you have roughly a zero percent chance of winning. You could see it in the faces of the Memphis players in 2008 after Collins made his shot, and you could see it last night in the body language of the Magic after Fisher made his. You might as well not even come out for overtime at that point.

Just thinking about that idiotic look on Jameer Nelson's face has got me all fired up again. I need to go for a walk or something. So while I do that, here are some things you might have missed:

• Somehow this piece set off yet another mainstream media attack on the blogging world. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a 42-year-old living in my parents basement . . .
• Fact: you are a d-bag.
• Montana joins Washington, much to the surprise of Idaho.
• Orwellian injury disclosure policy . . . blah, blah, blah . . . shrouds of subterfuge . . . ya-da, ya-da, ya-da . . . damaged testicle . . . wait, what?
• Andy Sandberg, on a boat; Tom Brady, not.
• I can't quit you, Carson.
  
• Remember when the Rams had one of the most lovable owners in the NFL? That might be about to change.
  
• Just to recap: he did not kill nobody, or rape nobody. Oh, Manny.
• Remember this ESPN the Magazine commercial? Hopefully they listen to their advice, go with primarily female athletes.
• When running a sportsbook, are you not supposed to make money?
• There is no "I" in "team", but there is a me.

It was a banner week in terms of video entertainment. My sources kept coming up with great stuff from all around the globe. In my opinion, you all are in for quite a treat this week. I am not even going to waste any more of your time and am going to get right to it:

• If you have not seen The Hangover yet, here is some of what you have been missing.
• This Remi fellow, yeah, he is alright (and I am doing fine, thanks for asking).
• Look, I am all for videotaping your child's early years; there are sure to be great memories. But posting things on the Internet so they can then be spliced together into a comedic video is bad form (and we thank you for it).
• This video totally reminded me of Billy Madison, only in real life.
• Steve Nash: better point guard or reporter? You decide.
• No tag line I write will match the greatness of our last video. You. Are. Welcome.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Back In The Game

Sorry for last week's lack of a Link Dump (say that ten times fast). Believe you me, there are few things in this world the Chief looks forward to more than a weekend of forced interaction with his entire firm. Anywho, we are back in the game this week.

If you did not notice, the Los Angeles Lakers are back in the NBA Finals. What is that you say? You did notice? My guess is that the eleventy-billion window flags gave it away. Is there anything more annoying than a car with a Lakers window flag? Why yes, a car with a Lakers window flag on both rear windows. Two weekends ago, when I driving home from Palm Springs, I was behind a car that had two window flags on its rear window. Predictably, one of them broke off and hit my car. For a split second, I felt like running the car off the road (not mine, hers . . . it's always women . . . ), but I thought that would be letting the driver off too easy. Instead, I took solace in thought of her reaction when she reached her destination, only to discover one of her beloved window flags had broken off. Probably not a good night to be that girl's main squeeze (though, having seen her, it begs the question: is there ever a good night?).

But more annoying than window flags, is the entitlement complex most fans and the media have about "their" Lakers. They made it this far, so the championship deserves to be theirs; it is as if Boston beating them last year is the greatest travesty of the past twenty years. How are the Lakers not as hated as the Yankees? Lakers fans are just as arrogant. I mean, Orlando has made it this far, why are they not entitled to it? For starters, they clearly have the hotter cheerleaders, and you know that is worth something . . . at least in my book. I know last night's Magic performance does not help my point any, but I do not think Orlando is just going to roll over (I hope). I think they will make a series out of this yet.

Do not get me wrong, the atmosphere in Los Angeles is always great when the Lakers make the Finals, and I hope the Lakers win (after all, I can watch the parade from my office). But lets give the other guys some credit . . . and put away the damn window flags.

So, while I stare out my office window, counting window flags on the passing cars for the rest of the afternoon (if numbers actually go that high), here are some things you might have missed:

• Apparently you can "perfect your game" with Anna Kournikova. I would rather just bid for that date with May Anderson . . . after all, my game is already perfect.
• Twenty-seven points? That is about twenty-seven too many if you ask me.
• Remember those problems with the Phoenix Coyotes we talked about a few weeks ago? Well, I never, ever, ever would have seen this coming. Ever. Shocking.
• Tough decisions must be made in these tough economic times.
• Simmons doing what Simmons does best . . . ball-washing the Red Sox of course. What did you think I meant?
• So, let us see now, looks like all this kid needs to do now is break every MLB record . . . those expectations should not be tough to meet.
• Thankfully Deadspin took the time to (1) track all of SI's "Chosen Ones" and (B) track the moonshot.
• Danica Patrick says what baseball players knew fifteen years ago, takes heat.
• Sosa has hall of fame induction speech all ready to go . . . apparently forgetting that one must be inducted to give said speech.
• "You don't even see that in tee ball." Well played, sir. Well played.
• Memphis probes alleged violations about as well as it shoots free throws.
• I love you Golden State, please [don't] draft me.
• Does that come with a happy ending?
• What are the chances that Brett Favre reads soccer news?

Boy, I do not know about you, but I am still reeling from that Gretzky news (fifty-seven, fifty-eight, sixty). That is just totally unbelievable (sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy). Regardless, let us move on to the more important stuff (eighty-five, eight-six, ninety).

• "And the pigeon is no more" . . .
  
• . . . which reminds me, congrats to Randy Johnson on his 300th . . . win that is.
• In honor of the upcoming SBC movie, Bruno, here is one of the best Ali G clips of all time (or you could just go and check out the thirteen greatest Bruno moments from the show . . . slightly NSFW).
• Ouch . . . that about sums it up.
• From the Vault: what is that noise?

I think my favorite part of that Randy Johnson video (one hundred ten, one hundred eleven) is the catcher's reaction. Just watch how he bails out of there.

Have a great weekend everyone (one hundred thirty-three, one hundred thirty-four)!

Site News: No Go

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that there will be no Link Dump this week. The Chief's firm's annual retreat is this weekend, so he has to be down in San Diego tomorrow morning. Sorry for the inconvenience.

To make it up to you (or at least to the male GameTime, TBD© readers), here is a picture of Marisa Miller for you to stare at for an uncomfortably long period of time:


Well, it is probably safe to say that we are toeing the line with our "family friendly" policy on that one. Oh well. If you are interested in more Marisa (and who isn't?), this site might be helpful.

Just a couple quick items of note before we head out. The Chief would be absolutely appalled if we left our avid readers (both male and female alike this time) with out some sort of entertainment for their Friday afternoons. So, here are some videos to help you out:

• Some interesting rule changes in store for the NHL.
• Two year old shows skill on felt, bangs reporter.
• Only in Ohio.

Also, remember a few weeks back when we told you all to go over to MLB.com and vote Manny Ramirez in as a starter for the All-Star Game? Well, apparently we were not the only ones who thought that would be funny and the idea is picking up some momentum. So remember to go and vote!

Have a great weekend everyone!

What To Do, What To Do?

You may have noticed over the past few weeks a few Editor's Notes relating to the speed of the Internet around these parts. When we joke about the 14.4 or 28.8 modems being down and out, we do not necessarily feel like we are joking. There have been discussions around the actual office about bandwidth issues because people are leaving their Internet windows up all day (who on Earth would do such a thing?). Our "experienced" and "professional" IT department (if you can call one person a department), has assured the firm on countless occasions that there is plenty of bandwidth and that everyone else is the problem.

Now, I agree with him that everyone leaving an Internet window open all day will cause continuous traffic across whatever fiber lines they have running through here. But I spent enough summers working at Dad's company to know that a single browser window open on someone's computer should not take use back to the days when we anxiously waited to hear those precious, precious words: "You've got mail!" (YES!) Especially when I pass along the following tale . . .

Last week, one of the firm's managing partners up and quit. He took his team and went to greener pastures. That, in turn, resulted in several support staff members having to be let go because we did not have a need for them anymore (isn't it nice when you can finally fire people you've been dying to fire, and then point the finger at someone else?). So as of today, we are leaner by about ten employees. Which, in theory, should mean ten fewer Internet windows up and running all day and, thus, there should be, on average, more bandwidth available to the entire firm. Yet somehow, the entire network has been running even SLOWER this week. I should have worked from home today before heading out to Palm Springs to be with my buddies. As unreliable as our Verizon DSL is, it sure beats a dial-up modem. Sure, I am leaving early for the long weekend, but I still have my duties (hehe . . . duties) to you, my loyal GameTime, TBD© readers, to attend to.

So, while I check in with the guys who are already in Palm Springs to make sure we have enough sunscreen and beer to get us through the weekend, here are some things you might have missed to get your Memorial Day weekend off on the right foot:

• Where was this when I was in college?
  
• It is Vancouver. What did you expect the Olympic torch to look like?
• And in related news (related in a very loose sense of the word), coaches, athletes, and prostitutes (wait, what?) are all getting the necessary training for the Olympics.
• Please, Roger Goodell is far too busy dealing with Michael Vick to worry about such trivial problems.
• Hey look, Ryan Leaf is back in the news. For a second there, I was getting worried he had turned over a new leaf (See what I did there?).
• A foursome with Anna Rawson? Yes please.
• Q: What do Callaway and Lance Armstrong have in common? A: Their ball doesn't conform to industry standards. (Editor's Note: great writers steal outright.)
• Would you look at that, something exciting actually happened at a Royals' game.
• No word on whether getting railed by MJ contributed to her illness (Editor's Note: too soon?).
• No word on whether getting railed by MJ contributed to his illness (ba-ZING!).
• You might think a six-page exposé on Professional Bull Riding is a little excessive, but then you get this: "It sounds like fish slapping on pavement." God bless groupies.
• I am sure this was all just one big misunderstanding.

So, I took Dad and Grandma to the Mets/Dodgers game Monday night. Yes, the one where the Mets committed five errors and the Dodgers still needed eleven innings to finish them off. I only bring it up now because it makes for a smooth transition to our video section. You see, Albert Clifford Slater threw out the first pitch of that game (if you could call it a throw). And while I do not know how that pitch will affect his scholarship to Iowa, it certainly does allow for a Saved by the Bell-themed video section:

• Sure, Asher Roth may love college, and these Davidson guys may love the Commons (hey, is that Stephen Curry?), but everyone loves Bayside.
• It is amazing how a little [beep] can change everything.
• Yes, I am recording, and yes, I am immediately posting this on the Internet.
• Ah, local commercials, you never get old.

Have a great long weekend everyone!

Words of Wisdom from The Chief to BBO

No, I am not talking about bad body odor (though, I did work out this morning and may or may not have remembered to put on deodorant . . . just kidding . . . but seriously).

I gave "the staff" the day off in honor of the arrival of the newest member (future writer?) of the GameTime, TBD© family: BBO, my nephew. The little one arrived safe, healthy, and happy (babies are happy when they're born, right? I mean, sure, they cry. But those are tears of joy, right? Anyone?) this morning. That being said, we do not have a lot of time for a drawn out introduction to this week's Link Dump (which, I learned this morning is a hot ticket item . . . the introduction that is . . . apparently it's quite prestigious to be the subject of the Link Dump introduction and now I'm not entirely sure my Better Half is talking to me today. But I am proud of her and all her accomplishments as well. She just has to understand that it is impossible for me to corrupt her at this point in life . . .). I have to get all my actual work done as quickly as possible so I can bounce early and introduce myself to BBO. I have been trying to figure out what to say to him the first time we meet, and here is what I have got thus far:

"Hello, I am your Uncle . . . your cool Uncle that is (not that there was any real competition). The Uncle who is going to teach you things Mom does not want you to know and Dad does not want to get in trouble for teaching you. Speaking of trouble, if you ever get in it (and, knowing your Mom, I'm sure you will), always blame me, even though we know it was probably your Dad's fault. He paid my runner $1,000 cash in an envelope so I would commit to this, so don't forget it. Years from now, you will realize you want to be exactly like me. Who would blame you? However, for your Mother's sake, let's just keep that between you and me."

Welcome to the world little man. Here are some things that happened during the week of your birth:

• I disagree (circle gets the square).
• I would say that bad decision is worth more than $4.8 million.
• *cough* Shotgun wedding *cough* *cough*.
  
• Greg Paulus's relationship with his center is about to get a whole lot more personal.
• Right Darren, the first thing I noticed was that she is a professional volleyball player.
• North Carolina A&T: currently the best team in college football.
• I am sure this has nothing to do with the fact that Sam Keller was not drafted by anyone in the NFL.
• Remember when hot Russians were supposed to start dominating women's tennis and then they did not? Looks like they have moved on to something else.
• Jockeys will do anything to beat a drug test . . . yes, you read that correctly, jockeys.
• Boy, if I had a nickel for every time my rugby team staged a group orgy . . .

It is a really exciting day around here, and I have actually been looking forward to the video portion of this week's Link Dump since Monday. Originally I was going to go with only one video because, well, it is THAT good. But because today is celebration, I have decided to celebrate with a few extras.

• How has this pitcher not been called up yet?
• "A comeback is like a yo-yo. You're gonna go down, but you're coming right back up . . . . and then you may end up walking the dog."
• This is the one. You can thank me later.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Update: if you want to see the uncensored version of that last video and don't have a Hulu account, I've created one for GameTime, TBD© readers. Username: GameTimeTBD; Password: gametime. Creative, I know.]