Does Size Really Matter?

Hello friends.  Well, sadly, actual work has once again reared its ugly head, and that has left the writers here at GameTime, TBD© without enough time or oversight to bring you your weekly dose of entertainment, also known as the Link Dump.  But what would a Friday be without a little entertainment and, more importantly, a heated debate amongst friends?

As most of you know, the Chief is a legs and butt man.  A woman with a nice set of stems will drive him wild.  This developed mostly out of (1) his love for petite women, and (b) his fear of the damage that can be caused by a set of large knockers.  Do not get me, he is not about turn a blind eye to what a woman has going on up top (after all, a lot of them paid good money for those), but he has an unnatural fear of getting knocked unconscious by an arrant boob shot to the head.  [Editor's Note: seriously, try as you might, you will never be able to convince me that a set like these couldn't kill a man.  I mean, I could think of worse ways to go, but still . . .].  Plus, a nice pair of legs and a shapely butt usually tend to indicate that the woman takes care of her body, so you are likely to find the rest of her very appealing as well.

Well, if we are talking about the Chief's preference in women, and we do not have enough time for a full Link Dump, that can only me one thing.  That is right, dear readers, it is time for GameTime, TBD©'s next installment of M-F-K: the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee ("IBTC") Edition.  So, we would like to know who of these "IBTC" members you would marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Kristen Bell; (b) Keira Knightley; and (iii) Natalie Portman.

We asked the Chief to provide us with his analysis, so here we go.  Three beautiful women, all with great legs and butts [Editor's Note: boy, researching for this post was really tough . . .], and a top half proportionate to their body?  You can not really go wrong here.  That being said, those of you who know my preference in women, and know my Better Half, know that I will be marrying Kristen Bell.  No point in trying to pretend otherwise.  As part of our inevitable prenuptial agreement, I would negotiate a clause requiring her to walk three feet in front of me at all times just so I could constantly be checking her out her backside.  I mean, is that not why we gentlemen live by the motto "ladies first"?  Personally, I think the Japanese culture got it backwards by making women walk behind their husbands.  You can not enjoy the view that way.

As for which one I [censored] and which one I kill, that is a bit trickier.  If you had presented this scenario to me a couple of years ago, it would have been simple, Natalie Portman gets to taste the goods and Keira Knightley meets an untimely end.  Natalie Portman was my first celebrity crush, dating all the way back to her roll as Matilda in The Professional.  [Editor's Note: we're only 6-months apart age wise, so that isn't as creepy as it sounds . . . I hope.]  The funny thing is, while Natalie Portman has peeked career-wise over the past few years, her curb appeal has dropped a little in my book.  First, she went all boy haircut on us, and then she decided to go and get herself knocked up.  Keira Knightley, on the other hand, is the model of consistency.   The movie she is in might not be is not very good, but she is going to look good doing it and her accent rocks.  All that being said, you know I am loyal to a fault.  I wish I knew how to quit you Natalie Portman.  [Editor's Note: her being in like eleventy billion movies this year isn't helping, that's for sure.]  So, dear Keira, as good as you looked as pirate, it is time for you to walk the plank while Natalie walks my plank (Hey-OH!).

So, with that, we must cut things short and get back to life in the real world.  We hope you are able to enjoy your Friday afternoon and the heated debate we know you are about to have with those around you.  But with all this talk of legs and boobs, we thought we would leave you with one more relevant video, compliments of Spring Break 2011: "She's top heavy guys, she's top heavy."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rise and FIRE!

Can you smell that?  The sweet, sweet aroma of March Madness is in the air.

That is right, the productivity of American workers is slowly grinding to a halt as we are a mere twenty-three hours away from the tip-off of the NCAA Tournament.  Okay, so I guess the Tournament technically started last night, but let us be honest, no one is really counting these play-in "first" round games as part of the tournament.  Chances are you, like me, have joined one or two (or twenty) pools and did not even have to pick the first four games unless you expected one of the teams to advance past their next opponent.

More importantly, this means over the next two days we all get to pretend we are actually working while, in actuality, we are following the games from the (dis)comfort of our desk chairs.  I mean, if unrest in the Middle East and a potential nuclear meltdown in Japan can not stop Obama from filing out a bracket for ESPN, who are we expected to focus on normal work?  Some of you are doing the smart thing and just taking the two days off, or maybe just Friday.  Heck, even my Better Half said she was considering taking Friday as a sick day so she could stay home, watch the games, and BBM-trash talk me about how her bracket is better than mine.  I mean, if the Tournament is going to get her to ditch work, it has to make you consider just how important it is.

But that also made the Chief realize that that makes today practically Friday.  So he sent up the GameTime, TBD© signal and called for a special, Tournament edition of the Link Dump. When you think about it, it makes sense.  I mean, we are even closing up shop early on Friday to head to Vegas to catch some of the action.  Thankfully, part of the GameTime, TBD© family is headed out first thing tomorrow morning, so we will have legal action on all of the Thursday and Friday games.

Now, we were very tempted to dedicate this entire Link Dump to the greatness that is Gus Johnson, since Gus Johnson and the NCAA Tournament go hand-and-hand.  But as it turns out, there is actually some other Tournament-related news out there that we thought you might enjoy and some non-Gus Johnson related videos from the week that should help make your Hump Day [Editor's Note: Hey-OH] go by a little faster.  But rest assured, our dear readers, that there is plenty of Gus Johnson to go around:

• I will get this out the way: Gus Johnson is the voice of March.
• Jimmer Fredette is wildly popular in the New York prison system . . . wait, what?
• If you are finding it difficult to make bracket number thirty-seven seem different from bracket twenty-three, here are some strategies to help you out.
• A look at March Madness by the numbers.  Congratulations to you on being part of the 8.4 million.
• Speaking of "by the numbers", here is a bracket filed out using the median salary of graduates from each of the teams.
• There is nothing like a good drinking game to help ensure you are passed out by the late games.

Of course, around this time of year every website and their mother runs their own gimmicky NCAA-style bracket.  If you have not noticed, Esquire is picking the "Sexiest Woman Alive" (even though last October they declared Minka Kelly the sexiest woman alive . . . did I miss something? Is Minka dead? Was she severely disfigured in a horrific acid accident in the last 5 months?) and Spike is helping Captain Morgan find the "Ultimate Morganette" from a pool of only the "classiest" of ladies.  Attractive women NCAA-style brackets are a dime a dozen this time of year.  So we thought we would draw your attention to some other notable brackets:

• Black Lab, FTW!
• I am not positive, but I do not think this will really be much of a competition.

And then there are the videos.  Oh, the videos.  Let us face it, there is nothing quite like a Gus Johnson-called dramatic ending.  And while listening alone is fun, watching is even better.  But do not fear, we have not gone with a complete tribute to Gus Johnson because not even March Madness can stop funny things from happening:

• Like everything great in life, even the NCAA Tournament ends with a montage, every year, always to "One Shining Moment".  So here you go, fifteen years of "One Shining Moment".
• "Sorrentine . . . FROM THE PARKING LOT!"
• "Heart. Break. City."  Yes, it is the greatest 40.8 seconds in NCAA-tournament history (I might be biased), and it was called by G.J.
• Not convinced? Here is how it looked from UCLA's band section.  How has someone not mixed this with Johnson's call yet?
• While we are certain to have many memorable fan reactions during this year's Tournament, it may be tough to match this.
• The best anti-bullying PSA? Looks to me like a perfect visual representation of a one-versus-sixteen match-up.  [Editor's Note: all kidding aside, it's time parents start taking some initiative and talk to their kids about bullying.  For the record, that's the bullier getting the short end of the stick.]
• It is about this time of year that a guy figures out just how great his significant other is.  Hopefully you chose wisely.  [Editor's Note: like me!]
• Worried that the NCAA Tournament is going to take its toll on your Diet? Jimmy K is here to help!

We hope you enjoy the NCAA Tournament and we wish you the best luck in all of your pools or with all the action you decide to lay . . . and also your bets.  Ba-ZING!

Bite Your Tongue

I am not going to lie, I was a little stressed out this morning during my train ride into the GameTime, TBD© office.  The Chief usually wants to know what the Link Dump introduction subject matter is going to be first thing in the morning so he has the necessary time to research the topic before making the final edits and sending the post "to print".  Well, so many things happened this week, I was having trouble picking one.  Do I go with commentary on college basketball officiating or the latest controversy in the NHL regarding dangerous hits?  What about UCLA's complete failure to show up last night versus a lesser opponent?  To be honest, I was leaning towards the UCLA introduction.  For starters, officiating is an issue I could beat to death, revive, then beat to death again, and I would still feel unsatisfied and the Zdeno Chara hit might be a little too heavy for a Friday afternoon.  Plus, under those two topics, I am liable to say something that finally puts GameTime, TBD© on the map . . . for all the wrong reasons.  So I thought it best to bite my tongue and go with UCLA because, after all, in reliving the nightmare that was last night's game, at least I would get to reference Oregon's cheerleaders.  But then a funny thing happened while I was standing in line at Starbucks waiting to get my morning coffee . . .

I am always amazed by what people are willing to talk about while out in public.  As you know, one of the the Chief's biggest pet peeves is when people talk on their cellphones in elevators.  It is not just because he is stuck in a tiny cube and forced to listen to someone yakking away that drives him nuts; it is often the conversation the people are having.  You might recall the time he was forced to listen to a woman discuss her friends . . . errr . . . "exploits" from the previous evening (which include such classic lines as "And he just thought you'd let him stick it there the first time?").  Nasty.  Or there was the girl on the treadmill next me telling her friend all about how she was going to seduce the father of the kids she served as part-time nanny for.  Charming.  And I can not even begin to go into the ridiculous conversations I hear on the train.  I wish I could claim I was a compulsive eavesdropper, but unfortunately people just talk loud.

Which brings me to this morning, in the lonnnnnnnnnnnng line at Starbucks, where I had to listen to the woman in front of me talk to her co-worker about her ex-husband's mission to buy their child's love.  Any thing that child wants, his father buys him: video games, sports equipment, clothes, blah, blah, blah.  And she did not think it was fair because he was the big-shot executive with all the money.  How could she compete?  After about five minutes (did I mention it was a lonnnnnnnnng line?), I almost felt like I was entitled to give my opinion on the subject.  It was, after all, your classic tale of man bones secretary, wife finds out, man hires better divorce attorney, you know the rest.  For what it is worth, I thought perhaps the husband felt guilty about the trouble he brought on his family and was trying to make it up to his kid, albeit with material things.  But before I could get there, I got Captain Over Share's opinion (and I quote): "Do you think he found out I've been sleeping with Steve and is now trying to turn [our son] against me?  I mean, I know he's good friends with Steve, but Steve promised he wouldn't say a thing." You stay classy, random woman at Starbucks.

Look people, I am very familiar with the "these are all strangers, I'll never see them again, so what do I care what they hear?" line of reasoning.  But strangers or not, there is such a thing as common courtesy.  And I want to hear about your personal life about as much as you want to hear about mine.  There is so much going on in the world to talk about, why not save the personal stuff for the privacy of your office or your car? So please, random people of the world, learn to bite your tongue . . . or you might find your exploits being posted on a random blog for all my avid readers to enjoy.

Speaking of things for my avid readers to enjoy:

• In non-sports related news, apparently the internet has made it more difficult for people to hide their "I used to be a porn star" pasts.
• Your "No duh!" link of the week: apparently we should be paying more attention to women's surfing.  [Editor's Note: for the sake of . . . ummm . . . journalistic integrity, we have confirmed that, yes, Alana Blanchard doesn't mind showing a cheek or two while surfing.]
• Oh, NCAA, if there is one thing you do so well, its hypocrisy.  [Editor's Note: read both the main article and then the supplement reaction from the author.]
• Come on, Bill James, you can never completely eliminate the human element from an equation.  [Editor's Note: or, as long-time friend of the program Ballgame put it, the "crapping the bed" element.]
• Wow, it sucks to be from the Ohio Valley Conference.
• “[Stanford] accommodates athletes in the manner that they accommodate students with disabilities.”
• Apparently it has been a rough spring training for players' rides.  [Editor's Note: anyone else think we should start using the word "purloined" more often?]
• Well, I am glad we got that all cleared up.
•  For all those people out there who think it is crazy for the NBA to talk contraction, I present you with this:  Blake Griffin is able to sell out a New Jersey Nets game while Kobe and Lebron play to a half-full arena in Miami.
• Maybe he liked the view?
• I think Aston Villa should change their mascot to the "Hermit of the Holte End".
• He must be crazy. A love-hate relationship with the McRib?

It feels good to be back up and running at full capacity post-vacation.  We were planning to spend part of this Link Dump apologizing for our lack of a full Dump last week, but word on the street is that Ms. Upton was a sufficient apology.  Should we be offended?  While we debate this in the privacy of our office, here are some videos to help you make that final push to the weekend:

• WINNING!
• Tom Brady proudly invites you to "Dance Party, U.S.A."!
• Worst. Sportscast. Ever.  At least have the common decency to drop a catch phrase that will live forever, fellas.
• If being stuck in the office all day has got you down, here is a four-minute walk across the Appalachian Trail.  If nothing else, it is a beautiful look at the longest foot trail in America.
• Call the travel, ref!
• This is fantastically fake (I hope) . . . but also a reminder to be careful when stealing someone's parking spot (you know, like put your top up).
• Nothing like an awesome mash-up to get our weekend started off on the right foot.
• Someone could create a video of Jennifer Aniston sitting on a park bench reading and I would probably still post it here.  But, thankfully for you, SmartWater made a funny video with "Jen" Aniston instead.  [Editor's Note: and, yes, I would have gladly auditioned for the role of "Nut Shot Guy" . . . too much?]

Have a great weekend everyone!

Site News: What Happened to that Vacation?

[Editor's Note: as you all know by now, anytime the words "Site News" appear in the title, bad news is coming . . . ]

A funny thing happened last week: we went on vacation. It. Was. Marvelous.  Eighty-one and sunny in late-February?  Yes, please.  But you know what was crazy?  Apparently the rest of the world felt the need to keep on working.  Did they not get the memo?  Vacation.  [Editor's Note: well, apparently the LA Metro maintenance workers got the memo because my 20-minute delay on the train ride into this office this morning certainly didn't help our chances of getting anything of substance prepared for you.  Seriously, though, don't they know I have readers to entertain? . . . but I digress . . . ]

So, while we were on vacation, enjoying the sun, a cocktail or two (or twenty), and thinking of new and great ways to improve GameTime, TBD©, the rest of the world was acting out in pure jealousy.  Ever wonder what the Leaning Tower of Pisa looks like in person?  Well, I could have saved you the expensive plane ticket to Italy.  The stack of work waiting for me when I returned defied the laws of physics.  That said, I have been forced to spend the week catching up on more work than I care to admit, all while putting out the fires that manage to pop up on a weekly.  If ever there was a week I really wanted to win the lottery, this is it.

Unfortunately, that means we will not be able to provide you with the one thing you look forward to most every Friday.  What? No, calm down people.  The weekend will still get here.  And to be honest, I am a little insulted (yet, also flattered that you think we here at GameTime, TBD© have that much power). No, no.  We are unable to provide you with a full Link Dump.  Epic. Fail.

But you also know by now that we are never willing to leave you completely empty-handed.  That is right, per usual, we hope to make it up to you with a hot chick and some funny videos.  We figured that by now you were tired of picture after picture of attractive blonds like Marisa Miller, Kristen Bell, and Blake Lively, so we decided to mix things up this week and go with a picture of . . . well . . . attractive blond Kate Upton, the blog-o-sphere's consensus pick as the hottest new addition to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue:

Seriously though, any one else think their guidance counselor failed them by not mentioning fashion photographer as a career option?

As for the videos, we obviously have many to catch up on, seeing as with missed a whole week.  So you can bet that next week there will an extra long video portion of the Link Dump.  But for now, we hope these seven will do:

• In case you were wondering, America's dominance over Canada extends all the way to soccer.
• As if this course was not crazy of enough for a BMXer, the throw in a dog.
• Remember that dude who got dumped by his girlfriend after he let her get hit by a ball at an Astros's game last summer?  It was probably for the best.
• Anyone else think The Onion managed to hire actual pedophiles for this news piece?
• Holy cheerleader spazz out, Batman!
• Any guess at who the slowest runner at the NFL combine was?
• It is the new workout we should all be doing, especially with those who are already doing it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Music to My Ears

The sounds of waves crashing along the beach is music to my ears.  And in two short days I will be listening to the most beautiful symphony ever composed while enjoying a cocktail (or ten) on the beaches of the Big Island.  Okay, now I am just bragging and that is not fair to you, my dear readers.  So I apologize.  But hey, since we are on the subject of music, let us talk a little more about it.  That is right, since I am in such a good mood, I have decided to present to you another edition of "Funny Things from the Chief's Past You Might Not Have Known".

Most of you who have gotten to know me recently probably only see the current image of the Chief:  sports fan, college golfer, frat guy, fun-loving partier, the work-hard-play-hard type of guy.  Nothing wrong with that.  And though we have hinted at it in the past, it is time you know something else.  Have you ever watched an episode of Glee?  I have, all of them.  And, for the most part, I have enjoyed them all.  Confused?  It is okay; it is only natural.  But it is time you that Glee is essentially the reincarnation of my high school experience.  That is right, I was a member of a nationally-ranked high school show choir and I loved it . . . jazz hands and all.  I am just going to go ahead and give you a moment to let that sink in  . . .

. . .

To be honest, most of you would be shocked with home competitive things get with show choir (remember, it's a competition and the Chief's in it).  And it was a great way to meet to incredibly attractive girls.  I mean, without it, I would not have joined the college glee club and met my Better Half.  And it certainly did not prevent me from lettering in three sports at the same time.  In fact, it was encouraged.  But my love for music extends well beyond show tunes and cheesy arrangements of current pop hits (though I still have a soft spot in my heart for them)  In fact, during high school I went through a pretty big Nine Inch Nails phase.  I did not dress the part, but I certainly loved everything Trent Reznor produced (which, most recently, includes the score to The Social Network . . . wild, right?)  And to this day, Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots remain two of my all-time favorite bands.  Jar of Flies is one of the few albums I can listen to start-to-finish without wanting to skip a track, and you have not lived until you have seen STP play an all-acoustic set with a giant lava lamp as the back drop.  And that is why I also wanted to draw your attention to this: KROQ's Locals Only Playlist.  If you could all take the time to scroll down to the voting section and type in "Motor Gun Hotel - Pay the Price" in the "Other" box, it would be greatly appreciated.  You see, MGH is a fantastic local band I have gotten to know over the past few years.  It is comprised of a talented guitarist, a phenomenal bassist, and an awesome female drummer.  That is it.  Three members that, together, knock out song after song that sound eerily like a cross between Chains and STP.  I encourage you to check out some of their performances on YouTube.   It is certainly not the "untz, untz, untz" music many of your prefer (myself included these days), but it certainly is worth a listen as you get ready to cut loose this weekend.

So, please go and vote for Motor Gun Hotel so we can get them more airtime down here in Southern California.  And then, once you have voted, come on back and enjoy the entertaining links we have lined up for you.  Or, if you are a strictly untz-untz person, just go ahead and start reading the links now:

• We should all strive to live the like great Ron Swanson.
• A must-read for HIV deniers, teleporters, Randy Quaid, train-wreck enthusiasts and fans of quality reportage.  So really, a win for all.
• Ladies, if your man wrote you a poem for Valentine's Day, I hope he is more of a wordsmith than C.J. Leslie.
• What? Potential corruption in the BCS? Get right out of town . . .
• With baseball right around the corner, let us make sure we are not getting ripped off at the stadiums.
• Whenever ever I start working some place new, I always like to make sure I criticize my new boss right out of the gates.  You know, to make a good first impression.
• A heart-warming story about a giant insurance company acting like . . . well . . . a giant insurance company. 
• Ability to receive pictures on cell phone and being under eighteen considered a plus. 
• Is this what the Spice Girls meant by "girl power"?
• Normally, when you read a team shot seven-percent from three-point range, it is not followed with "on one hundred and three attempts."
• You did not think China restricted its age falsification program to Summer Olympic events, did you? [*shaking head*]

Jimmer Fredette.  [Editor's Note: every now and then I randomly yell out "JIMMER!"  It's fun and always freaks out the people around you.  Try it, you'll feel great afterward, I promise.]  Well, Jimmer-mania has carried over into this NCAA season, and his play has been deserving of the praise.  So we get this week's video portion of the Link Dump started with Jimmer . . . JIMMER!:

• Would someone please teach me, teach me how to Jimmer?
• Jimmer Fredette breaks ankles with his crossover.
• Three-and-a-half minutes of Blake Griffin dunking?  Yes please.
• Yeah, I like to shoot a little stick.  [Editor's Note: that's what she said . . . wait, what?]
• Apparently the trick shot craze has spread to quaterbacks and douches soccer goalies.
• If you are not watching Tosh.0 on Comedy Central, shame. on. you.
• The current vote stands at Fake: 2, Real: 0.  You be the judge.
• Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy now has two memorable press conferences.  You all remember the first.  And here is the second.  
• If you do not know who Keenan Cahill is, you should.
• Even though we will be dark next, I can guarantee JKL will bring you another quality "Unnecessary Censorship", just like he has this week.

Just a friendly reminder that we will be on vacation all next week.  Look for new and exciting things to start popping up on GameTime, TBD© come March.  In the meantime, have a great week everyone!

Don't Be Jealous

[Editor's Note:  We were piecing together a solid introduction on responsible blogging, but a funny thing happened on the way to print . . . actual work.  What's that about?  So, we have had to scrap that introduction in the short term and move on with a quicker, more efficient opening.  But responsible blogging is a subject I take very seriously and is something I will definitely touch upon in the near future.  In the meantime, you have settle for another topic near and dear to my heart . . .]

I think it is safe to say that we all love vacations.  There are few things in this world better than spending an extended period of time without the worries and stresses of our everyday lives.  And, of course, who does not love the pre-vacation countdown?  And how about the direct correlation between days left until vacation and work productivity?  Well, today marks single digits remaining until the Chief and the Better Half head off on a much needed vacation.  That is right, they are official t-minus nine days and counting.  We do not want to make you jealous of where they are going [Editor's Note: *cough* *cough* Hawaii *cough* *cough* . . . boy, I hope I'm able to kick this cold before vacation . . .], so we will just leave it at that.  And, of course, a vacation for the Chief means a vacation for the rest of the GameTime, TBD© office because we are equal opportunity vacationers.  Sounds good, right?  But rest assured, dear readers, no matter where the Chief is, he is always trying to find ways to improve things around here to make it even better for you.  In fact, he is already holding "staff" meetings to cover what he hopes we will be able to accomplish on behalf of our little slice of the world wide web pie while the office is dark.  And I imagine he will be traveling with his prized journal, the holder of his creative genius, so that he can finally crank out the first original pieces of GameTime, TBD© content this year.  Believe you me, nothing gets the Chief's creative juices flowing like sipping cocktails and catching some rays on the white-sand beaches of the Big Island some tropical destination that shall remain nameless.

But let us not get too far ahead of ourselves.  Nine days means we still have two Fridays and, thus, two Link Dumps to get through.  After all, as our work productivity slowly works it way towards zero, we need something to keep us entertained.  And, more importantly, you, our dear readers, still have a Friday afternoon to get through without going postal on your boss and/or co-workers.  That is why we are here.

So, while we prepare for the next staff meeting, and while the Chief finalizes what restaurants he and the Better Half are going to be enjoying, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• What is wrong with this sentence:  "Marisa Miller is a fairly attractive young lady."?
• Speaking of Marisa, it is good to know she prefers the four-point stance when playing football.
• A brief follow-up to last week's M-F-K:  Mike Fisher's wife now cheers for the Nashville Predators.
• So, this guy is pretty much the anti-Lenny Dykstra of entrepreneurial professional athletes then?
• A classy move by a hockey player saves a dumb* fan ten dollars. [Editor's Note:  *everyone knows setting your beer on the dasher boards is just asking for trouble. EVERYBODY!]
• An estimated 111 million people watched the Super Bowl. That means an estimated 111 million people saw A-Rod get fed popcorn like the little [censored] he is.  His response? To be a little [censored].
• Ballsy move by Mike McCarthy before the Super Bowl even kicked off.
• Well, that is a huge weight of my chest.  Baseball Prospectus has finally figured out what baseball game Ferris, Sloane, and Cameron went to.
• A perfect record we should all applaud.
• For the record, this is not an NCAA violation.  Common sense would have told you that, but that is one thing the NCAA seems to be lacking.
• Who knew saying something like "Well, you guys don't go out and play [racial slur deleted] basketball." would get you canned?  Everyone but this guy.
• One day, Disney will write a movie "based" on a true story.  Of course, in that movie the double-amputee pitcher does not get cut from his high school baseball team.
• Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys . . . soccer players make way more.

If you are not following us on Twitter [Editor's Note: Shame. On. You.], then you missed the news that the Chief rocked the Surf City Half Marathon last weekend, setting a new personal best of 1:57:20.  Well, he ran with a camera and for this week's video portion of the Link Dump we proudly present one hour and fifty-seven minutes of running . . . just kidding.  Though, from what we hear, it would be a pretty entertaining video.  As the Chief put it: "I found this runner who was looked in on my target pace and ran about five yards behind the whole race.  The runner also happened to be an attractive female, so that was nice.  I was a category five creeper for the entire run."  Good work, Chief!  To celebrate, funny videos:

• You need a YouTube account, the language will get you fired, and females who do not read this site regularly are likely to be offended . . . must be a winner.
• If this does not get excited for the next Lions’ season (if there is one) then I do not know what will.  No, seriously.
• Thank you, Captain Obvious.  
• You got served.  Oh, it is on.
• Is this the worst miss in the history of . . . well . . . ever?
• There is only one way to follow up a miss like that . . .
• Poor form, a little rough on the landing; may have to settle for the bronze.
• The saga of Harry Baals.
• Hey Jennifer, call me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Fun (?) in the Sun

Well, we are t-minus two days from the Chief embarking on his third half marathon in a little over seven months.  He will be running the Surf City Half Marathon on Sunday down in sunny Huntington Beach, California.  And while he is not necessarily an "elite" runner, the Chief's competitive streak has been well documented on GameTime, TBD©.  So, as you can imagine, he is taking these final two days (a little too) seriously.  For example, a buddy of his who is an avid racer, including an Iron Man, once told him the key to race-day hydration is extra hydration two days prior to the race (that would be today).  So, upon entering the GameTime, TBD© office this morning, the Chief announced he would be peeing clear by noon.  [Editor's Note:  TMI? Probably.  Would you expect anything less from us?  Absolutely not.]  He informed me that today's Link Dump was completely up to me because he was going to "be drinking straight outta the Pure water machine all day."  That is putting a lot of power in my hands.  But, with great power comes great responsibility.  So here we go.

Over the past two Link Dumps, we have featured two of our favorite things as the introduction:  (1) hockey, and (b) hot chicks.  Since then, we have seen hockey viewing and our readership both increase.  Coincidence?  We think not.  And this got me thinking: "How do we build on this momentum?"  By combining the two!  Ain't that right, Boom?  

So it is with great pleasure I present to you, Marry-[Censored]-Kill:  Hockey WAG Edition.  I briefly consider M-F-K: Kings Ice Crew Edition, but realized I did not want to alienate our non-Los Angeles readership.  I must admit, it was both fun and educational preparing this introduction.  For starters, being a WAG (a common acronym for "wives and girlfriends") is much different than being a Puck Bunny; nothing good comes from calling someone a puck bunny.  And, as it turns out, there are a lot of hockey players pulling in top-notch tail.  Of course, some of the top-notch tail is more well known than others, so we focused on those women with more notoriety.  Then we narrowed down the contestants to current WAGs only, no ex-WAGs allowed (sorry Kournikova, you're out).  And after lengthy deliberations (read: Google image searches), we found our three.  So readers of GameTime, TBD©, we ask you, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Melanie Collins (ESPN's Pageviews 2.0 and girlfriend of Phoenix forward Scottie Upshall); (b) Willa Ford (singer/model and wife of Detroit forward Mike Modano); or (iii) Carrie Underwood (singer and wife of Ottawa forward Mike Fisher)?  Have fun.

While you debate the merits of these hockey WAGs, we are going to go check on the Chief to make sure his hydration is going well.  And just in case we are not back by the time you finish (hey-oh!), here are some things you might have missed from the past week:

• Askmen.com tells the world something readers of GameTime, TBD© already know:  Blake Lively is hot.
• It turns out the New York Islanders' marketing team is about as good as the hockey team.
• Hope the snow storm did not make you late to last night's Boston Bruins-Dallas Stars game.
• If your office Super Bowl squares do not turn out well (like mine), invite everyone to play a little Super Bowl Bingo.
• "You can make it with some loser you found on the Internet anytime … the Super Bowl is only once a year."  That about sums it up.
• When a quarterback in your league takes illegal funds, you drag your feet.  But when a school dares to use attractive women during national signing day, you take immediate action.  That is the SEC for you.
• Three stars for football skills, five stars for illegal procedure.
• "America, we have laws. Laws against killing, laws against stealing. And it is just accepted that as a member of American society, you will live by these laws. In [Allen], Texas, there is another society which has it's own laws. Football is a way of life."
• Everyone should feel bad for Cal Ripken, Jr. now.  [Editor's Note: here's the card.]
• Sometimes people from the South make it too easy.
• It is still real to me, damn it.

This is your "Hydration Watch 2011" update:  although the Chief still insisted on having his morning coffee, he has managed to consume eight cups of water this morning.  However, we have yet to receive confirmation that his "pee clear before noon" mission has been a success.  We will keep you updated throughout the day as this story progresses.  In the meantime, here are some videos for you to enjoy:

• Your "Sad, But True" fact of the day: we all know someone who does this dance a little too well.
• Who wants to see Bill Simmons have a fangasm over Blake Griffin?  Of course you do.
• I will go ahead and say The Weather Channel is the perfect place for Jim Cantore to be working.
• Speaking of weathermen, let us remember that they are paid to predict the weather, not count.
• What were you saying about injuries?
• In case you "happened" to miss that Croatia vs. Slovakia mens' doubles tennis match this past week, here is the highlight.
• One and done.  [Update: apparently it's one and done for 4-6 weeks...]
• Not the best time to lose an edge there, ref.
• And, of course, no Link Dump is complete without JKL's latest installment of TWIUC.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Time to Tune In

Over the next three weeks, three of the "Big Four" sports leagues will play their annual All Star Game.  Yes, I know what your are thinking right now:  "Big Four?  I only count three."  Well, shame on you.  I still consider the NHL to be part of the Big Four of sports and so should you.  Sure, whenever I say I am going to a Kings game I am bound to hear jokes like "Why would you want to go to Sacramento?" or "Wait, it's hockey season?".  [Editor's Note: man, if I wanted to hear jokes that bad, I'd just hang around the GameTime, TBD© offices all day . . . oh, wait . . .]  Yes, hockey's popularity took a brutal hit as a result of the 2004-2005 Lockout and their inability to develop stars to build the league around until Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin arrived.  [Editor's Note:  which reminds me, the folks here at GameTime, TBD© would like to say happy belated-birthday to The Great One, who turned 50 this week.]  But now it is time for you all to start tuning back in.

And there is no better time to start than tonight, when the NHL kicks off its All Star weekend.  Why, you ask?  Well for starters, the league and players decided to go old school and will let the team captains pick their own squads.  We all remember what it was like back in elementary school when teams were picked of that game of basketball or soccer.  And now, tonight, we get to watch grown men twitch, fidget, and pray that they will not be the last one picked.  And then, come Sunday, you can watch what is, hands down, the best All Star Game amongst the Big Four.  NHL players actually look forward to the All Star Game; they actually appreciate the opportunity to give back to the fans.  They are not looking for excuses to get out of it, the league has not had to make the game worth home-ice advantage come Stanley Cup finals time to make it more competitive, and it is not a defenseless score-a-thon.  Sure, there will not be any fights or thunderous checks, and scoring will be a little higher than a normal game, but I would expect that from teams consisting of players like Ovechkin, Steven Stamkos, the Ginger Sedin twins, Patrick Kane, Rick Nash, and, of course, my boy Anze Kopitar.  [Editor's Note:  for the record, the Kings deserved to have at least 3 All Stars this year, but thanks to that December/January slump (don't get me started), they were left with one.]

You know you need your weekend quota of sports, and I know you have no intention of watching the Pro Bowl.  So do yourself a favor and tune in to the NHL All Star Game festivities this weekend.  Who knows, you might finally see what you have been missing all along.  But since the fun does not start until 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time tonight, we know you are in need of something to help you get through the rest of the work day.  Ask and ye shall receive:

• If the Packers win the Super Bowl, the Detroit Lions will be able to say they beat the eventual champion.  I think that, in and of itself, is deserving of this picture.
• Speaking of the Lions, a woman has accused a Detroit Lions player of trying to be the first to score in the postseason in over a decade.
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, all those strippers that were hit hard by the recession might want to make their way to Dallas.
• As friend of the program Ballgame put it: "It doesn't win you trophies, but it wins me Fantasy Football leagues."
• Because two football teams in Los Angeles worked so well the last time, right?
• And you thought American football was overly strict with its dress code/touchdown celebrations . . .
• Are you confused by the offside rule in Soccer?  Here is a helpful analogy that will clear things right up get you fired.
• Talk about excessive foreplay . . .
• Kevin Love wants to be an all star so badly, he started a website to help his chances. [Editor's Note: make sure you watch the "The Numbers" video.]
• I am not going to lie, when I read the words "scandalous photos" and "girls' locker room", my mind may have gone a different direction.
• What?  People gave up fancy gym memberships for more cost-friendly gym memberships during the greatest recession since the Great Depression?  Get right out of town.
• As an avid blogger and message board nerd, I can definitely relate to some of this story.
• In non-sports related news, I think they would have been better served going with the volleyball scene.

In reviewing the introduction, the Chief raised an excellent point: "You know, the readers might not know what channel Versus is on their cable/satellite provider."  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of the NHL's television deals.  And while we tried to find a comprehensive listing of the Versus channels, the best we could come up with is TV Guide's listing application.  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of Versus's website and marketing.  And now that you are all prepared for this weekend's festivities, here are some videos to help kill those last few hours of your work week:

• "I RIDE THE RIDE!  I RIDE THE RIDE!"  Que the viral video.  [Editor's Note:  need YouTube account.  Normally we'd share ours but it is linked to email and this blog, so that's a no-go.]
• So much fail in so little time.
• As impressive as this is, I am pretty sure the tornado-like winds blowing into his face might have played a role.
• Nothing like adding a little insult to injury.
• I think the real highlight of this video is not the stiff jab, but rather the one mother's shock over the ejection.  Ah, youth basketball.
• Must be nice to have teammates like that, right?
• Even in mini golf, the rules require that you play it as it flies.
• Wheel of Fortune is really starting to spice things up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rule #76

[Editor's Note:  it's Wedding Crashers day here at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  We have these days ever so often, reserved specifically for those days when the Chief is not in the best of moods.  Nothing is worse than a grumpy Chief, and thanks to the NHL and their crappy officials, that's what we're dealing with today.  Very scientific studies have shown that quoting Wedding Crashers ad nuaseum usually gets at least a laugh or two out of the big guy, so that's what we're going with.]

Sometimes there is no better way to start your Friday than with a trip down memory lane.  And this trip happens to involve a little game I am sure you are all familiar with:  Marry-[censored]-Kill.  As avid readers of GameTime, TBD©, I am sure you are all the type of people who have played it before.  If you have not . . . well . . . you should be ashamed of yourself and I will have to strongly reconsider whether you are worthy of reading this site.  But since we are trying to keep things positive for the Chief today, I will just direct you here to get a quick overview of the rules and move on.  Sure, it is a game we used to play in middle school, and usually the subjects were our teachers, school administrators, or the girls who had been deemed "unsightly" by their fellow classmates.  But every now then something happens [read: you get drunk], and you find you and your friends playing a friendly game of M-F-K just like you were twelve years old again.

Well, one of the many sports blogs we frequent during the preparation of your weekly source of entertainment [read: the Link Dump] runs a weekly M-F-K feature, and this week's was a duesy.  So much so that we thought everyone should be forced to ponder it.  So I ask you, dear readers, of the following three choices, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Marisa Miller; and (iii) Bar Refaeli?  For those of you who are frequent visitor to our little corner of the world wide web, the Chief's answer should be obvious.  His affliction for blonds, especially one in particular, means poor Ms. Refaeli has an early appointment with death, poor Ms. Decker only gets to taste the goods once, and Ms. Miller becomes Ms. GameTime, TBD© (shocking, I know).  But we are not all like the Chief, so I challenge you to drop us a line with your picks.  And remember, no matter what you decide, one of the great beauties of this generation must be sacrificed.  Rule #76:  No excuses.  Play like a champion.

Once you have finished pondering one of life's great questions, do not fear, we have more ways for you to pass the time on this beautiful Friday.  Like with these links:

• I am calling B.S. on this study, especially after reading the first summary point.  [Editor's Note: just use some basic mathematics . . .]
• Apparently Sports Illustrated thought it had been too long since they ran a piece about Lance Armstrong probably being a cheater.
• Don't waste your time on girls with [Swedish jerseys]. They tend to be very proper.
  Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the [Swedish jersey] just eye-[censored] the [censored] out of me.
• If you are in possession of a Blake Griffin rookie card, I would hold onto it for a little while longer.  Or you could just go ahead and throw it on eBay.
• Phil Mickelson is back to eating meat . . . wait, what?
• Golfer plays world record 10,800 holes in a single year. No, not that golfer.
• In need of a good laugh?  Vince Young is here to help.
• 2011 is quickly becoming the "Year of the Homeless Man".
• Looking for a little extra pick me up in your training?  Go with the deer antler velvet extract.
• Infographics are fun.
• I wonder what Will Hill's interviews will be like at the NFL combine?  [Editor's Note: language may be considered slightly offensive.]
• Get it? Get it? You see, it is funny because he is fat.
• I am not sure it was the execution that was as much the problem as the original plan.  I am just saying . . .
• Are they built for speed or comfort?
• "Many locals in the crowd showed embarrassment that two grown men should fight over something so stupid, while many teenage males egged it on, the witness said."  Are you sure they were not showing embarrassment for actually being at a lawnmower race?

Rumor has it some of you out there had an extra special Thursday night and are in no mood to be doing any work today.  [*wink*]  Well, if that is the case, you have two choices: you can either (1) make me an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field; or (b) just go ahead and check out these videos:

• EVERYBODY . . .
• If you are not watching The Onion's "Sports Dome", here is what you have been missing.  [Editor's Note: uncensored version.]
• Being from Southern California, I am not too familiar with snow plows.  But I am pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
• It takes a special kind of outburst for a coach to get a standing ovation.
• Some people find cat videos irresistibly funny.  If you are one of those people, this video is for you.
• Oh, and this one too.
• This is why Los Angeles needs a better subway system.
• Did you know the Australian Open (yes, the tennis tournament) had started?  Well, apparently it has been quite entertaining thus far.
• So, I guess we are in that whole "every major sports announcement requires a spoof of 'The Decision'" phase then?  Good to know.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bank Error In Your Favor

[Editor's Note: for those of you who don't follow hockey too closely, you might not be aware that the Kings have started 2011 with a 1-5 record and have lost seven of eight dating back to late-December.  Needless to say, this has gotten the Chief in a bit of a tizzy.  His first draft of his New Year's Resolution post had to be scraped because we couldn't post something that essentially read: [censored].  We promise it's coming soon.]

There is a saying we have used frequently around these parts: "It's a competition and the Chief is in it."  Yes, those of you who have grown to love the Chief know that he is just a leeeeeeeeee-ttle bit competitive.  But what you may not know is that his competitive side is not restricted strictly to athletic competition; no sir.  If there is an activity which only ends once there is a clear-cut winner and loser, you can bet your life savings on the Chief's competitive spirit rearing its sometimes-ugly head.  Take, for example, one of the Chief's favorite board games, Monopoly.  He does not just want to have the most money when all is said and done, he wants to humiliate his opponents by having them mortgage their kids to pay off rent at his hotels.  This is a man who has researched the mathematical statistics associated with the game and has created what he believes to be the perfect strategy to effectuate a victory the likes of which we have not seen since Sherman marched to the sea.  Believe you me, if you land on New York Avenue before he does, do not buy it, lest you want to be cursed at and threatened with physical harm.  And, of course, you have not truly lived until you have seen his "Bank Error in Your Favor" dance.  Seriously, it can be like salt in the wounds.

So, what does this anecdote have to with today's Link Dump?  Pretty much nothing.  Except that today there was, in fact, a banking error in the Chief's favor.  For roughly eight hours, the Chief was pretty much the highest paid attorney (at least base salary wise) in the state of California.  That is, apparently, what happens when someone throws an extra zero at the end of a salary.  Of course, it did not take to long for the firm's CFO to figure this all out considering the firm was suddenly running low on its cash supply.  And while the Chief has generously given the necessary authority for payroll to reverse the transaction, he is still in possession of the original payroll direct deposit confirmation and intends to frame it.

Additionally, it means that we have decided to give a little "bank" error in your favor and provide you with an extended Link Dump with more stories and videos to help you get through your Friday afternoon:

• We dabble in celebrity gossip every now and then, especially when it involves an attractive female.  Well, would you look at that (headline).
• Apparently we should be attending more basketball games at University of Oregon's new Matthew Knight Arena.
• Man, Reebok totally gets it.  When I see Erin Andrews on the set of College Gameday or Good Morning America [Editor's Note: she's on GMA?], the first thing I think is "I wonder what shoes she trains in?".  Yes, that is exactly what I think. or
• This might come as a shock to many of you, but the folks here at GameTime, TBD© could be considered what some of you might call "comic book nerds".  [Editor's Note: I know, right?]  That being said, is this really happening?
• It is time to play "What famous athlete is this person related to?".  You can find your answer here.
• Freddie Mitchell, fresh off his successful retelling of his one career highlight, continues to put the word [censored] in class.
• We were sad to see that Kris Benson retired from baseball on Monday.  Why, you ask, would be we sad to see an average pitcher retire?  Because now we are less likely to see his wife, Anna Benson, in the news.
• While Ryan Howard may strike out at the plate quite often, he sure knows how to hit those random interview references out of the park.
•  Is there anything Ken Griffey's rookie card can not do?
• In case you were wondering, yes, average basketball players make far too much money in the NBA.
• ESPN has confirmed that excessive Duke ball washing will continue until at least 2015.
• Remember when the National Enquirer turned out to be right about Tiger "the Potent Putter" Woods?  They should have quit while they were ahead.
• Apparently the Philadelphia Union's new sponsor has resulted in many of their female fans feeling alienated.  I know, we were shocked to learn the Union had many female fans too.
• How dare someone destroy such a fine piece of art in what we are sure is a classy joint.

Oh man, nothing like a Saved by the Bell-related news story to raise your spirits as you head into the weekend.  You know what also helps raise our spirits?  Funny videos.  Well, would you look at that:

• What do you get when Will Arnett, Jimmy Fallon, and Horatio Sanz get together?  Pure genius.
• I am sure it is just pure coincidence that Wes Welker made ten foot references at a press conference this week . . . pure coincidence.
• 'Cuz a basketball court to the face is bad for your health.
• Wait, Dora wants to what like animals?
• Count it!
• "Katuse puhastus" is Estonian for FAIL.
• Ever wonder what it would be like to walk around a store on your phone telling someone else what the other shoppers are doing?
• We close with my two favorite commercials that are currently on television: (1) you know we love us some eTrade baby (wait, what?); and (b) "Well that's a problem, cause I like Johnny."

Have a great weekend everyone!