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Before we get to the good stuff, I just wanted to take a moment and point out the Chief got his annual Kings' Season Preview up earlier this week.  He puts an interesting spin on a classic movie moment and has some quality analysis of his boys in purple and black.  Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we generally try to avoid talking about the most obvious news stories of the week because, let us be honest, after five full news cycles, mentioning it in our Link Dump would just be beating a dead horse.  But every now and then, a story comes a long that takes a life of its own, and we can not ignore.  As we were putting the final touches on last week's Link Dump, our (second) favorite sports blog, Deadspin, was busying posting a video of Brett Favre's non-infamous voicemails and dirty texts (or "sexts" as the young folks call 'em) to Jenn Sterger, who is about as much of a report as Ines Sainz (after all, her claim to fame was dressing like this at Florida State football games).  Like any hot topic, everyone is coming out the woodwork to comment on the "barrel of worms" Deadspin opened last week.  Some we agree with, some we do not, and some are just plain funny.  But to us, the Favre dong scandal (which happens to make the nut shot Favre took in practice this week even more funny) is just another example of an alarming trend that must be stopped.

That is why we here at GameTime, TBD© have decided to start the "A.S.S." movement.  Do not adjust your screen, you read that correctly, the "A.S.S." movement, or "Athlete's Shouldn't Sext" (we're also in favor of starting another type of ass movement, but that's a topic for another time).  The fact of the matter is, Favre is just another in a long string of dong incidents involving athletes.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I have ever sent or received a suggestive text message.  But were I to have sent or received said messages, the likelihood that these messages would have been sent or received by my Better Half is very, very high (read: someone I love dearly and have been in a long-term committed relationship with).  Athletes, on the other hand, tend to sext any number of individuals ranging from current girlfriends to road beef (read: girls who are likely to want to publish them when said athlete stops calling).  There have been enough scandals in recent memory to safely say that athletes believe they are entitled to live a lifestyle different than the rest of us are expected to live and, sadly, many wives of athletes are more than willing to turn the other cheek to keep the lavish lifestyle being married to an athlete affords them.  And while it saddens me that women are willing to make such a compromise (though, it appears Deanna Favre might not be one of them), it saddens me more that every time I check out Deadspin, I run the risk the of seeing man junk.  And while I have safely navigated my way around the Favre pictures, it will probably cost me thousands of dollars in therapy sessions to erase the likes of Grady Sizemore and Leg Greg Odom from my memory.  Seriously, if I wanted to see that, I would go watch some porn (though, that might not be an option soon).

So, we here at GameTime, TBD© kindly request that you take up our cause and join the "A.S.S." movement.  Together, we can stop the image of man junk from being seared into our eyes every time an athlete crosses a fame whore.  So, while we go put together some sort of sign-up sheet for you all to sign, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• The NFL apologizes to London for choosing two crappy teams for this year's International Series game by hiring Marisa Miller as spokesperson.  Congrats, London.  [Editor's Note: While it is true that we often reference suggestive pictures of attractive models and celebrities on this site, we are keenly aware that many young women struggle with body image issues as a result of society and the media's current definition of "beauty".  That is why we fully support this effort, and vow to refrain from making such references all next week.]
• Things go from bad to downright embarrassing for Tom Brady's hair.
• Well, this certainly is a first for the Lions.
• "And countless others will be home watching NBC with their porch lights off so they won't be bothered while the game is on."  If only someone would invent some sort of device that would . . . oh, I don't know . . . allow people to pause live television or something.  That just might save Halloween for the children of New Orleans.  [Editor's Note: Also, "The Treat Dats"? Really?]
• It turns out the Baltimore Ravens organization is not a fan of chicks being awesome.
• Remember that Delaware gambler from last week?  Apparently he missed the Sports Betting 101 class where they discussed how to properly hedge your bet.
• The second biggest story of the week (behind you-know-what) was the former-agent tell all in this week's Sports Illustrated. If you are not a subscriber to the magazine, here is the story.
•  If you are eating or have eaten recently, you might want to skip this story.
• Two things about Ole Miss's new mascot:  (1) ironically, the only bear native to Mississippi is the Louisiana Black Bear; and (ii) I suppose Rebel Black Bear fought for slavery and states' rights.  It is somewhat uninspiring to take your inspiration from the losing side in a war, is it not?
• You stay classy Internet commentors.
• What? LeBron James merchandise is not selling well in Cleveland? SHOCKING!
• Dear A.J. Burnett, The word "simulated" in "Simulated Game" is not meant to be taken literally.  Xoxo, Your Teammates.
• Sara Saco-Vertiz, who first stole your heart in the classic love story "I Got Hit By A Foul Ball in Houston When My Then-Boyfriend Dove for Cover", is back in the news.
• Roy Oswalt; good pitcher, better interview bomber.
• A table tennis story that does not suck.  Go figure.

Wow, I did not realize how much good stuff went down [Editor's Note: that's what she said!] this week because of all the coverage Brett Favre's dong was getting.  That is why we really hope our "A.S.S." movement gains some momentum sooner rather than later.  Speaking of movement, here are some moving picture, commonly referred to as "video", clips we thought might make your Friday a little better:

• Ever wonder what it would be like to parachute in with the game ball in front of huge crowd?  Turns out it would be pretty freakin' awesome.
• Some scientists did a study on my life and The Onion is here with the results.
• Your "Fail of the Week" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . . click click click click . . . click click click . . . click click . . . click]: Guy Mounting Elephant!
• I flunked out of sign language class. Can someone please translate for me?
• We have long been a fan of Steve Nash's ability to make great videos.  His recent commercials for FIFA Soccer 11 with Landycakes are no exception.  So here are parts one and two.
• This one goes out to all my readers who are also San Francisco Giants fans . . . all two of you.
• I always knew Dora was a slut.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Now I Know My "ABC"s

There are some people out there who consider it to be the greatest seven minutes in cinematic history.  Others, who are not willing to go that far, are at least willing to concede it is, perhaps, the greatest seven-minute cameo appearance in a movie.  After all, it is one of the most quoted monologues ever performed.  We quote it around the GameTime, TBD© offices at least once per week (the Chief more frequently), and the chances are you do the same.  It is entirely possible you quote it without even knowing it; you heard someone else quoting it once, liked what you heard, and quickly incorporated it into your repertoire.  We would not blame you.  Yet, sadly, there are those of you who have absolutely no clue what I am even talking about.  Shame.  On.  You.  Well, by now, you should know that we are not going to leave you hanging.  [Editor's Note: Who loves you? We do.  But a word to the wise: the language in that clip is definitely NSFW!  So, we advise you too watch it only if you (1) have headphones, (b) have an office door you can close, or (iii) have been looking for a good way to get fired and plan to go down swinging.]  It is important you watch that clip before proceeding.  We will wait . . .

. . .

"A, always; B, be; C, closing.  Always be closing.  Always . . . be closings."  I challenge any and all of you to come up with a movie quote more applicable to everyday life (seriously though, please do . . . if the Chief responds to one more of my questions with "Always be closing", I just might snap).  At work?  Obviously.  Right before you sink the game-winning shot in beer pong? Naturally.  Getting your buddy pumped up before heading out for the night?  You know it.  Any wingman worth his weight in gold knows a pregame speech that includes the phrases "brass balls" (wait, what?) and "always be closing" is guaranteed to get your buddy cocked, locked, and ready to rock.  Then all you have to do is make sure he does not trip over himself the rest of the night, which, assuming you do not ride the short bus to school, should not be too difficult. [Editor's Note: oh, if only that were true . . .]  And while I would love to regale you with tales of nights gone fantastically awesome and horribly wrong, (1) I am not one to kiss and tell, (b) you would not believe me even if I did tell you, and (iii) what I really want to talk about is Los Angeles Kings hockey.  That is right, my dear readers, it is your 2010-2011 Los Angeles Kings season preview.

Like with other sports, a hockey team's ultimate success or failure is usually directly correlated to its ability to close.  As proof, you need look no further than the last two seasons for the Kings.  [Editor's Note: Weird how that worked out, right?]  The 2008-2009 Kings finished twenty-sixth out of thirty teams in the NHL, and fourteenth out of fifteen teams in the Western Conference, posting a 34-37-11 record.  If we break that record down a little more, we find the Kings were 24-4-2 when leading after two periods (80% win percentage), 6-5-5 when tied after two (37.5%), and 4-28-4 when trailing after two periods (11.1%).  Much like their finishing position, the eighty percent win percentage was ranked twenty-fifth in the NHL.  While we generally try not to make any excuses around here, it is true that the 2008-2009 Kings were the second youngest team in the league with an average age of 25.658 years old (only Chicago was younger, at 25.470 years old).  More than a few games slipped away from this young team late in the game.  They were not closers.

So, what made the 2009-2010 Kings one of the biggest surprises of the season?  Even though they were still the second youngest team in the NHL at 26.290 years old (again behind Chicago at 26.243 years old . . . and, yes, Chicago did win the Stanley Cup), the Kings learned to always be closing.  The Kings finished sixth in the highly-competitive Western Conference, ninth overall, with a 46-27-9, and found the themselves in the playoffs for the first time in eight years.  Looking at the same stats as we did above, the Kings were 29-0-2 when leading after two periods (93.5% win percentage), 9-4-4 when tied after two (23.5%), and 8-23-3 when trailing after two (23.5%).  That is a double-digit percentage increase in each category.  Their ninety-three percent win percentage when leading after two was fifth best in the league, and they were one of only five teams to earn at least one point in every game they led after two (fun fact: Buffalo was the only team to be perfect when leading after two, going 30-0-0).  The Kings were better both offensively and defensively, ranking ninth in the league in both categories, and, with their new found ability to close, the Kings were winning the close games late, as opposed to losing. [Editor's Note: Do we thank the 2008-2009 Kings for that or all the girls in the South Bay bars?]

While the 2009-2010 Kings were closers during the regular season, they learned a hard lesson come playoff time: it is harder to close when the stakes are higher.  Closing during the regular season is like picking up the USC girl at the bar; two drinks and you are good to go.  Closing during the playoffs, however, it like picking up the UCLA girl; it is going to take all you have and then some, but, in the end, the victory is that much sweeter.  [Editor's Note: also, disease free . . .]  In the six games the Kings played against the Vancouver Canucks in their opening-round match up of the 2010 Stanley Cup playoffs, they were 1-2 when leading after two periods (33% win percentage), 1-1 when tied after two (50%), and 0-1 when trailing at two (0%).  That is correct; the Kings were leading or tied after two periods in five of the six games they played, and could not even force a game seven.

As the Kings begin their 2010-2011 campaign, I hope they continue to build on the lessons they learned way back in 2008-2009.  [Update: 1-1-0 when trailing after two periods early in the 2010-2011 season.]  If they do that, a return to the playoffs is definitely in the cards and they can then begin applying the lessons they learned last year.  But they will also face a new challenge this season: expectations.  With their success last season, big things are expected from the Kings.  They are returning the main nucleus of last years team, with the only notable departure being Alexander Frolov, who was known mostly for his consistently inconsistent play.  And while the Kings ultimately missed out on signing prized free agent Ilya Kolvachuk, I am part of the minority who thinks they are actually better off without him.  Do not get me wrong, having a legitimate fifty-goal scorer makes any team instantly better, and I would have loved to see Kolvachuk in the purple and black.  But had the organization signed him, they would have been handcuffed in their ability to re-sign their core players in the coming years.  The Kings, instead, were able to sign a solid defensive-defenseman in Willie Mitchell and partially replace Frolov's (lack of) scoring with Alexei Ponikarovsky, a four-time twenty-goal scorer.  Plus, Dean Lombardi still has the cap space to add a top-six forward as the season progresses, while also re-signing future-Norris trophy winner Drew Doughty, future-Hart trophy winner Anze Kopitar, and the rest of their young guns to the long-term contracts they deserve.  And it is this core group of players that will need to continue their improvement if the Kings are going to take that next step: a deep run in the playoffs and, at long last, a Stanley Cup championship.

There is no denying that, in order to improve on last season, the Kings will have to improve their five-on-five scoring.  While the Kings finished tied for ninth overall in scoring, they were nineteenth overall in five-on-five scoring.  And while they are now technically only the tenth youngest team in the NHL, some of that scoring burden will fall on a crop of prospects the Kings have been grooming in their farm system.  Do not be misled by the Kings average age of 27.337 years old; they feature nine rookies on their opening day roster.  Not all of the rookies will be around for the long-term, but rather are keeping roster spots warm for the likes of Scott Parse and Matt Greene, who will start the season on injured reserve.  But the Kings will be expecting some of these prospects to stick around for most of the season and for them to make a non-prospect-like contribution to the stat sheet.  Yes, Andrei Loktionov, Brayden Schenn, Kyle Clifford, and/or Jake Muzzin, I am talking to you.

And, of course, no Kings' season preview would be complete with my breakout player of the year prediction.  And I was obviously spot on with my last two picks of Wayne Simmonds and Jonathan Quick . . . Okay, okay, I did not pick Simmonds and Quick, and yes, my last two picks (Brian Boyle and Teddy Purcell) did not even finish the season as part of the Kings organization.  So, in order to salvage any sort of credibility I might have, I am going with, perhaps, the most obviously pick there is: goaltender Jonathan Bernier.  I know what you are thinking: "The back-up goalie?"  Please, hear me out.  Jonathan Quick was, by far, the biggest surprise of the 2009-2010 season for the Kings.  For the first in who knows how long, the Kings had a goaltender who was solid in net, night-in and night-out.  Quick posted a phenomenal 39-24-7 record for the Kings with 2.57 goals-against-average and .907 save percentage.  But Quick played in seventy-two games last season, was part of the U.S. Olympic team, a looked a little tired down the stretch.  Jonathan Bernier was long been considered the Kings "goalie of the future" and, but for Quick's breakout season, probably would have gotten his chance to prove it last year.  In a short, late-season call-up, Bernier went 3-0-0 with a 1.30 goals-against-average and .957 save percentage.  While Quick enters the season as the undisputed number one goaltender on the depth chart, having Bernier backing him up should reduce his workload.  And I expect Bernier to seize the opportunity and be the most productive back-up goaltender in the league.  Also, it helps that he just signed a contract extension, so at least I know the organization is planning on keeping him around.

And that, of course, brings us to the final question of every Kings' season preview: where will the Kings finish the season?  If you believe the experts, expectations are substantially higher for the Kings entering the season.  And, to be honest, this might be the first time I agree.  The Kings proved last season that they can play with anybody and team chemistry should not be an issue.  With all the experience they gained last year, and two legitimate goaltenders backstopping an improved defense, I am expecting great things out of the 2010-2011 Los Angeles Kings.  They will return to the playoffs, this time with home-ice advantage as the Pacific Division.   A run to the Western Conference finals, at a minimum, would not be unexpected and, if Dean Lombardi is able to finally add that top-six forward he has long been craving (without sacrificing his long-term plan), the Kings just might finally get the chance to raise the Cup.  You heard it here first.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go get myself a cup of coffee.  And when I get back, maybe I will tell you about that one time on the tram from . . .

A New Experiment

We here at GameTime, TBD© are not the first, nor will we be the last, people in this world who find ourselves asking "Where does the time go?"  I am sure it will come as no surprise to our avid readers, but we clearly have not had as much time over the past few months as we would have liked to dedicate to our little corner of the world wide web.  As frustrating for us as that may be [Editor's Note: believe that would fall under the category "very".], it has not stopped us from trying to find new and improved ways to make our site more accessible to our fans and also attract new readers.  After all, the more profitable this site becomes, more greater the possibility we could actually do this for a living.

To that end, we have taken the plunge and joined Twitter.  For those of you who are already members on Twitter, you can click on the "Twitter" button up there to your right, or, if you are reading this on some sort of mobile device, you can search for "GameTimeTBD" via your Twitter for iPhone, Twitter for Blackberry, or Twitter for Android application.  If, for whatever valid reason, you are not a member but have been thinking about joining, you should.  We had been pretty hesitant to join for a long time and had bounced back and forth on the idea over the past couple of weeks.  As it turns out, it is actually pretty cool.  Do not worry, we made the Chief promise he would not "tweet" from the bathroom or do anything weird like that, but we figure it allows us to at least give our two cents about breaking sports and pop culture news (assuming our two cents can be summarized in 140 characters or less).  Plus, it turns out some people are pretty fun to follow.  Our favorites thus far have been Stephen Colbert (funny/random comments), Barney Stinson/Neil Patrick Harris (great bro advice), and SI Swimsuit (sneak peeks of the 2011 Swimsuit Issue on location).

We are still trying to figure out all the ins and outs of the site [Editor's Note: that's what she said!], so it may be a while until we are fully up and running.  In fact, we are expecting a link to this post to be our first official tweet.  Look at that, you are all a part of history.  So, while we go make sure we understand exactly how to shrink a link [Editor's Note: I've heard cold water works well . . . ba-ZING!], here is an extended Link Dump featuring girls, humor, more girls, and some sports:

• Though you have probably already seen it, we could not pass up the greatest sports photograph of the year.
• I can not say I have ever heard of 944 magazine, but any magazine willing to feature Marisa Miller is fine by me.
• As part of the Pac-10, Arizona State plays UCLA.  Ergo, this story is relevant . . . somehow.
• Apparently Playboy did not have the guts to pick the Lions to make the playoffs.  Since they are 0-4, I guess that seems like a smart decision.  So, if I have to pick one, I say "Go Ravens"!
• If you ask me, there is a simple solution to this problem: select hotter cheerleaders next time.
• An obvious prank? Yes.  Still funny?  You betcha.
• Along those same lines . . .
• And, it might be a while until New Mexico State University officials have to deal with a similar problem.
• Early in the baseball season, Deadspin ran this story. His results?  A $324.34 profit.
• To hedge or not to hedge, that is the question.  Though, the answer should be fairly obvious.  [Editor's Note: I once had a $2 ten-team parlay come down to the over/under of Game 5 of the 2004 NBA Finals. Foolishly, I did not hedge my bet.]
• Just another reason for Cleveland fans to hate Cleveland.  [Editor's Note: don't they have enough already?]
• Dear Ben Roethlisberger, Commissioner Goodell already reduced your suspension to four games.  Your fake remorse is no longer necessary.  Xoxo, The Chief.
• Dedicated fan or one crazy dude?  [Editor's Note: Anyone else think this article was about Mark Dantonio, Michigan St.'s head coach, at first?]
• Pole reveals female reporters should stay out of NFL locker rooms . . . strangely, male reporters okay in Niners locker room.
• Say hello to your 2010 Tour De France champion, Andy Schleck.
• I need Verizon to get the iPhone . . . STAT!  
• You love sports. You love Saved by the Bell. Ergo, you will love this Saved by the Bell sports quiz.

 Surprising exactly none of you, the Chief when ten-for-ten on that sports quiz.  Also surprising exactly none of you, we are following up our extended set of "news" stories with an extended set of videos to really make those last few hours of your work week fly by.  And, yes, I promise we are not including the Brett Favre dong video.  You.  Are.  Welcome.

• Supwitchugirl follows up their break-out 2009 classic, "I Love My Ducks", with a sure-to-be 2010 hit, "Return of the Quack".
• This video did not go viral until after we went to print last week.  That means, you get to enjoy it all over again this week.
• Wait, what is going to happen on 10.10.10? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ON 10.10.10?!?!?!?!?
• Ever wonder what touchdown celebrations are like in the Lingerie Football League?  Pretty much exactly like you would expect.
• "The Jersey Shore RPG" . . . enough said.
• We have shown a lot of impressive soccer goals on this site.  This one may take the cake.
• Some of the writers from 30 Rock decided to make this "tribute" to John Lennon for what would have been his 70th birthday.
• Well, what would you expect with a question like that?
• Approaching lift off in three . . . two . . . ouch.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I Went Green . . .

. . . and I liked it. As a result of some Friday night plans with the Better Half (which help to kick off my third "Weekend of Awesomeness" in the last five weekends . . . man I need to slow down), it was advantageous for me not to have a car in Downtown Los Angeles today. So, I devised a plan whereby my Better Half would drop me off at a Metro station (which, as it turns out, is not place where a lot of metrosexuals hang out . . . who knew?), and I would take the train into work and then also after work to meet up with her at our destination. So I rode the train (just like the Quad City DJs told me to), read a book along the way, and got to work surprisingly refreshed. Now, I can not say I plan to make a habit out this little adventure (and, if you know the route I had to take, it certainly can be an adventure), but I might have to start doing it every now and then for a nice relaxing morning.

So, we were conspicuously absent last week, and we apologize. For those of you who have been following this site since its early days, you know just how big of UCLA fan the Chief is. So the Chief closed down the office, packed his bags, and flew off to Austin, Texas for the UCLA-Texas game. He swore up and down that he would "finalize the Link Dump from his hotel room Friday morning." Well, that was about as likely as us winning the Mega Millions, retiring, and doing this full time. And who suffered? You, our avid readers. Rest assured, the Chief punished himself severely the rest of the weekend, and was still paying for it through about Tuesday night. And we had absolutely no intention of leaving you hanging for a second week in a row, especially when I am feeling so good.

What has got me feeling so good, you ask? Well, for those of you who have been following this site since its early days (is there an echo in here?), you know how important music is to the Chief. I have an extensive CD collection, spent more money on iTunes than I care to admit, performed for a former-President of the United States and the last General Secretary of the Soviet Union, performed in a nationally-ranked show choir, and, perhaps most importantly, met my Better Half while singing in the Glee Club at Occidental College (this one time, at choir retreat . . .). And tonight, for the first time in many years, I get to revisit where it all began . . . The Phantom of the Opera!!!!! Okay, stop laughing . . . Seriously . . . You are just being rude now . . . Finished? . . . Go ahead, get it all out . . . Okay? Good. Nearly twenty-two years (22?!?!?! Yikes!), my parents took me to see The Phantom of the Opera for the first time; tonight, I see it for the fifth time. Having all-but minored in music in college, I will be the first to admit that Andrew Lloyd Weber does not exactly write the most complex musicals. However, as a young eight-year-old boy, seeing Phantom at the Ahmanson Theatre, was my first exposure to music outside of Mom "rocking out" to oldies around the house and in the car. The lights, the performers, the costumes, the pyrotechnics, and, most of all, the music, left an indelible mark on my soul and introduced me and art form in which I could excel. And tonight, I get to sit back, relax, and enjoy that feeling once again. Only, this time, I get to share it with the person I might not have met but for that performance twenty-two years ago.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa . . . cup check (*clearing throat . . . adjusting pants*). We got a little carried away there with the personal stuff. Sorry about that. You come here for funny anecdotes, a fresh perspective, and stories about sports, not musicals and love. So let us get to the goods:

• First, we ask that you join us in a moment of silence for teenage boners around the world. . . . Thank you.
• Since he is officially divorced, it is no longer cheating. Also, can you blame him?
• YES! We are officially one step closer to ESPN8, "The Ocho".
• Speaking of Ocho, why am I not surprised something like this would happen with Ochocinco's cereal?
  
• Payback is a . . .
  
• Is it mere coincidence the number one recruit in basketball commits to Duke . . .
• . . . the same day this hits the internet?
• A case of "he-said, she-said" where he said the same thing as she said, but the prosecutor has decided to do nothing. In this case, "numerous prosecutors of both genders" ranks right up there with "don't be offended, but . . .".
  
• The hippies win again.
• "Sports don't build character, they reveal it." Well said.
• Our Little Snowflake got hurt playing football. What should we do? Sue the league and coaches of course.
• [*Dialing American Airlines reservations line*] Yes, when is your next flight to Australia? I would like to see what the Gold Coast has to offer.

Since we dropped the ball last week with the Link Dump, and since The Chief is all fired up for Phantom tonight, we decided to give you a double dose of videos this week. First up, we have the usual collection of entertaining clips you have grown to love her at GameTime, TBD©:

• This is one fall release you definitely should not miss.
• I have a feeling it will be a little while before Doug Gottlieb gets a chance to interview Jim Mora (the younger version, not the "Playoffs?" version) again.
• Jamie Pressly can clean my golf balls anytime she wants.
• So, since we dropped the ball last week [Editor's Note: must have been dirty], we have not one, but two "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" for you.
• I waited a long time for this moment: "The Greatest Reality Television Screw Up Ever".
• Three words: Mike. Tyson. Dancing.

Second, we thought we would drop some musical numbers we recently came across:

• Okay, we did not really come across this one "recently". In fact, it has been here before. But we still love it. [Editor's Note: if you're a Star Wars nerd, raise your hand (*raises hand*).]
• This one too.
• Prep school girls rocking a Dr. Dre classic.
• Yes, I was in a college a cappella group; no, we did not rock out like this. [Editor's Note: language NSFW, so close your door.]
• You want to know why I love music? People like this.

Have a great weekend everyone!

What a Week

I do not know about you all, but it is hard to believe it is Friday already. This week seemed to fly by. Between "actual" work and the many hot-button news stories circulating through the sports world, the GameTime, TBD© office was in a constant state of chaos for the better part of the week.

Between Reggie returning the Heisman, the Jets harassing a "reporter", the TEA Party high-jacking the Republican Party, and the Lions getting screwed out of win last Sunday, the stories have been coming faster than the star quarterback on prom night. [Editor's Note: Yeah, that just happened.] These stories have garnered so much attention this week, we are going to try something new with this Link Dump: not take an official position on any of them. Well, that is kind of a lie; "technically" we took a position on Bush giving back his Heisman last week. We are choosing to pass on the other three major stories for a variety of reasons, namely: (1) a position on "InesGate" is not likely to end well for the Chief when he gets home to his Better Half tonight; (B) a position on the TEA Party might end the Chief's political aspirations before they have even really begun; and (iii) we do not think today is the day we should test the word limit of Blogger by letting the Chief get going on Calvin Johnson's game-winning (non-)touchdown. So, instead, we are just going to get right to the links and let others chime in:

• I never thought I would see the day: Bill Simmons has the most reasonable take of the week on "InesGate".
• You know whose opinion I would really like to get on "InesGate"? Jenn Sterger. Yes, the woman who dressed like this as a "reporter" for the Jets and . . . oh good, she decided to open her mouth.
• Regardless of whether Megatron's catch was or was not a touchdown, I firmly believe Jim Schwartz is the coach that will return the Lions to greatness. [Editor's Note: Wait, the Lions were once great?]
• These girls or so desperate to become Lions' cheerleaders, they are willing to accept not being Lions cheerleaders.
  
• Matt Forte: last season's fantasy bust, this season's fiance bust.
• You know, when I think of Jon Gruden, I usually compare him to Forrest Gump as well. Wait, what?
• It is only week three of the college football season and we already have our "Say It Isn't So" injury of the year.
• A Denard Robinson tribute song? Some might think it is a little early in the season for that. I say "Did you see the Notre Dame/Michigan game?"
• Here is a fun slideshow on baseball's oddest injuries.
  
• If this reporter is right, the McCourt divorce is going to do more damage to the Dodgers than we previously thought.
  
• Why am I not surprised that this guy is a Walmart patron?
• Looks like John Calipari is still up to his old tricks.
• Your bizarre but true story of the week is brought to you by: [*spins wheel*] Togo.

I am not going to sugar coat it; as great as this week was for large news stories, it was equally as bad for new entertaining videos. But rest assured, our dear readers, that we have saved a few in the vault for just such an occasion:

• By now, must of you are probably familiar with this entertaining news interview. However, you probably are not as familiar with the song it inspired.
• A word of caution to all you singers out there: do not lock your knees.
• Not positive, but I think that is a touch back.
• "This is a BET spin-off, Elementary School Musical."
  
• It has been a couple of weeks, but Jimmy Kimmel was finally back with a new "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship". [Editor's Note: Really Delaware Republicans? Christine O'Donnell?]
• "Imma fry this chicken in my han'."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Those Short Weeks

It is hard to believe, but we are approaching the Fourth Anniversary of the day The Chief started GameTime, TBD©. We have not finalized any plans for this momentous occasion, but I am sure there is something in the works. I know things have not gone quite like The Chief would have hoped, but we are still fighting. I am confident he will come up with some ways to make our fifth year of service to you, our loyal readers, the best yet. In the meantime, we will keep doing what we do, and that starts with our weekly Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods, I just wanted to take a brief moment to touch upon the "Should Reggie Bush give back his Heisman Trophy?" debate that was elevated in light of this week's report by Yahoo! Sports' that the Heisman Trust was going to take it from him. Well, the Heisman Trust has since denied the report (oops . . . sorry Yahoo! Sports, can't win 'em all), but that has not stopped the debate. And, so, we figured you all would want our two cents as well. No? Well tough. This is our site and we will do whatever we want (nan-ny, nan-ny, boo, boo).

In the interest of full and fair disclosure, we are UCLA people, so we have never been too fond of Reggie Bush. He has, since day one at USC, been one of the most arrogant and selfish players out there (though, it was nice to see that arrogance bite him in the butt against Texas). We like him a lot more now that he single-handedly brought the full force of the NCAA Sanctions Committee down on the USC football program, but as a person, he still sucks. All that being said, he should get to keep his Heisman Trophy. Quoting from the Heisman Trust website (which, I remind you, is not associated with the NCAA): "the Heisman Trophy Trust of New York City, will award the annual Heisman Memorial Trophy to an individual who deserves designation as the most outstanding college football player in the United States." As much as I hate the guy, it is hard to deny that Reggie Bush was the "most outstanding college football player" in 2005. Yes, Vince Young made the USC defense look silly in the National Championship game, but over the course of the season, Reggie Bush was rather impressive. Believe you me, his 260 yards and two touchdowns against UCLA that year were not fun to watch. Yes, he violated NCAA rules. However, to the best of our knowledge, none of the extra benefits the Bush family received enhanced Reggie's performance on the field. If it turned out he was taking steroids or some other form of PEDs, then you might have a case for stripping him of his trophy. But the trophy is about on-the-field performance, not the character of the player off the field. Otherwise, the Heisman Trust better spend the time and energy doing background checks on all past winners and future winners (the NCAA would probably appreciate that). Besides, some dude named Orenthal James Simpson is still listed as the 1968 winner of the Heisman Trophy . . .

Alright, enough with that. I typed the letters "USC" three times in that paragraph and not once was it immediately followed by the letters "sucks" or immediately preceded by the letters "[expletive deleted]". Now I just feel dirty. So while I go shower off, here are some things you might have missed:

• The best 2010 NFL preview you will read.
• We have an injury report update for Week 1 of the NFL: Chris Berman (mustache) listed as awesome for Sunday's NFL Countdown.
• High-Definition Televisions 1, Ridiculously High Ticket Prices 0.
  
• Last week we talked about the return of college football and somehow failed to mention what it means: the return of the University of Oregon cheerleaders. [Editor's Note: We apologize for this inexcusable oversight. Those responsible have been identified and . . . um . . . "let go". It was for their own good.]
• Speaking of cheerleaders, the "Is it or is it not a sport?" debate continues.
  
• What is the going rate for a game-used college football jersey these days? A four-game suspension.
• Meanwhile, the NCAA kindly request you buy these non-game-used jersey so that they can exploit college athletes for even more money. Would you look at that; A.J. Green is the only number available for Georgia fans. Weird.
• Tennessee football is getting back to fundamentals.
  
• I am sorry, it costs how much?
• I smell Disney movie. You know, one where the 63-year-old fat dude is played by George Clooney and the Can-Am League is suddenly the Majors and we are told it is "based" on a true story.
• Who knew Corey Pavin (Go Bruins!) had out kicked his coverage?

[*Yelling from shower*] Still feeling dirty . . . scrubbing round five . . . enjoy these videos in my absence:

• POW! Right in the kisser. [Editor's Note: and just like that, I am hooked on The Amazing Race.]
• Sometimes, parodies are good. Sometimes, you get this.
• "At [the PGA Tour], we're better than you, and we know it."
• INCOMING!
• Warning: this video arrived in our Inbox this morning and we can not stop watching it.
• A wise blogger once said: "You can never go wrong with a clip from Wedding Crashers." Spoiler Alert: that blogger was me!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Full On Double Awesome All The Way

[Editor's Note: if you don't get the title, you don't remember some of the best stuff this site has provided you. You should be ashamed of yourself. But, because I'm a nice guy, here it is again.]

There is nothing quite like the Friday before a holiday weekend. For all we know, our avid readers could have decided to skip town early. Why have a three-day weekend when you could make it four? Regardless, we do not do this just for our avid readers. We created GameTime, TBD© to make the world [wide web] a better place, one post at a time.

Not to brag, but I can not even begin to tell you how awesome this weekend is going to be . . . but do not think that will stop me from trying. So awesome is this weekend going to be, I think it deserves a name. Henceforth, Labor Day weekend 2010 shall be known as the "Weekend of Awesomeness". [Editor's Note: Wow, someone drank the creative juice this morning.] When bestowing on something a nickname as awesome as "Weekend of Awesomeness", some explanation is necessary. Allow me.

The first, and perhaps most obvious, reason this weekend is going to rock: the return of college football. For all intents and purposes, my Better Half has the next fourteen Saturdays all to herself. Thankfully, she will choose to spend some of those Saturdays with me, and not bankrupting our family on an entirely new wardrobe and hanging out with her best girlfriends, but for the most part I will be spending my Saturdays (1) glued to the couch, (b) at the Rose Bowl, or (iii) both (1) and (b) between now and the first week of December. Try as she might to convince me to do something else [Editor's Note: oh, she has her ways . . .], I need only point to section II, paragraph 4, sub-paragraph (G)(ii), clause 5 of our only slightly technical prenuptial agreement, which I am confident she read as thoroughly as our Congress reads legislation before voting on it, that states: "the Better Half hereby agrees that, beginning with the first week of college football season and lasting until the later of (1) UCLA's last game or (2) the National Championship game, the Chief shall be excused from performing any and all marital duties on each and every Saturday during the above defined period and any and all necessary travel days to accommodate UCLA's football schedule . . . ." It, of course, goes on to list the penalties for violation of this provision, but there is no need for bedroom talk here. [Editor's Note: If only Frank McCourt had asked me to draft his Marital Property Agreement . . . but I digress . . .] So if you need to reach me on a Saturday over the next four months, you should probably just try to get in touch with my Better Half instead.

The return of college football, while enough to make this a "Weekend of Awesomeness", is not the sole reason we are amped for this weekend. In fact, I will be taking my UCLA watching on the road to Chicago, to hang out with my Better Half and BFF. If you have been to Chicago, no further explanation is necessary. If you have not, well, sucks to be you. We are taking the red-eye out tonight and will be spending the weekend hanging with the BFF, her boyfriend, and her adorable baby girl. Throw in rubbing elbows with some professional athletes [Editor's Note: MLS players are considered professional athletes, right?], staying with Agman and his wife, and fulfilling one of my life-long dreams of finally getting two chicks in bed at the same time to see a baseball game at historic Wrigley Field, and you can see just why Labor Weekend 2010 is the official "Weekend of Awesomeness".

Regardless of how awesome my weekend is going to be (did I mention it's going to be awesome?), we still have to get through the rest of this Friday together. So while I go make sure I have all my travel documents ready, here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time:

• This is not the first time Rachel Uchitel has been black-balled in the past year. [Editor's Note: Hey-OH!]
• It is good to see that the Nitty Lion mascot is already in mid-season form.
• Instead of the normal cupcake opponent that many major schools schedule for the first week of the season, LSU gets UNC's second team.
• If you are attending the Colorado-Colorado State football this weekend, make sure you leave the sizzurp outside.
• This kid's dreams of earning a Division I football scholarship end on account of being an adult.
• I feel like a 2.5 karat diamond would stick out on a football field, no?
• No, no Terry, tell us how you really feel.
• Did not respond to the lawsuit? I would have thought its lawyers knew "truth" is a defense to a libel claim.
• Gary Bettman wants players to stop accepting those ridiculous deals being offered by his GMs and owners. Cause, you know, it is the players' fault.
• "Well I can think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo, live or stuffed; preferably stuffed for safety sake. And three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge [and throw in a 25-acre fire.]"
• Here is a story for all you golfers to remember the next time you "forget" about that ball you hit out of bounds.
• Kid Rock is still alive? AND singing?
• When people have too much time on their hands, *stuff* gets weird.

Still with us or totally jealous of how awesome our weekend is going to be? Look, it is only natural. We do not blame you. So, to help ease the pain, here are some videos to help you get throw those last minutes of your pre-holiday-weekend Friday:

• One good Billy Madison reference deserves another.
• We are suckers for any sort of trick-shot compilation. This week? Super Cool Bowling Awesome.
• A lot of people felt the need to get punchy this week [Editor's Note: we can neither confirm nor deny they heard about the "Weekend of Awesomeness" immediately prior to the events you are about to see]: (1) finally, an MLB fight that does not suck (Gaby Sanchez, for the win); (b) mullet-wearing fan of "the U" believes he can fly (Spoiler Alert: he can't); and (iii) New York tool versus the rest of the U.S. Open crowd (who you got?).
• Sean Penn goes between two ferns.
• Is Roger Federrer the new Peyton Manning of commercials? [Editor's Note: Don't you dare talk about my man crush like that; Roger Federrer will never match this, this, or this, just to name a few.]
• Epic. Football. Fail.

Have a great weekend everyone!

It's All About Product Placement

When we first introduced GameTime, TBD© to the world a little under four years ago, our goal was to provide you with an interesting spin on all things sports, pop culture, and hot chicks. And to say the Chief's mind has an "interesting" spin on things is . . . well . . . an understatement. But with our limited resources, over time we have refined the direction of the site and made the focus sports and hot chicks (I mean, the two practically go hand-in-hand, right?) and pop culture was moved to the back burner. We did not want to eliminate it completely, but it certainly has not been a focal point of our little corner of the World Wide Web for quite some time. But today, we have decided to go back to our roots, and use our Link Dump introduction to bring you a little piece of pop culture gold.

By now you all know that one of the Chief's biggest weaknesses is reality television that highlights the worst of American society. And there is no denying that MTv cast out a large hook with its release of Jersey Shore in 2009. The Chief valiantly tried to resist but, ultimately, the bait was too tempting and he got hooked. And the Chief was not the only one; in fact, we have first hand knowledge that several of you, our dear readers, could not resist the temptation either (there goes your aspiring political career). In fact, the American public's new-found infatuation with the "guido culture" has been quite astonishing. So infatuated has the American public become [Editor's Note: thanks, Yoda], a publishing company approached the founder of GuidoFistPump.com, Guido DiErio, and asked if he would be willing to write a book that helped provide the American public world with a better understanding of the guido culture.

Willing he was . . . minus that whole writing thing. So Mr. DiErio enlisted the help of his college buddy, and a good friend of the GameTime, TBD© family, Rick "The Happenstance" Marinara, and together they created what is sure to be the breakout book of 2010: Fist Pump: An In-Your-Face Guide to Going Guido. Though its official release date is Tuesday, August 24th (like, next Tuesday), if you follow that link to Amazon, or if you swing on by Urban Outfitters' website, you can order yourself a copy today and have it before then. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to piggyback on someone else's success, we caught up with Mssr. Marinara yesterday during his whirlwind publicity tour for the book (read: on gchat during his day job) to get his thoughts on the book. Though he had much to say about his excitement for the book's release ("It finally made it to [Urban Outfitters] . . . its natural home."), Mssr. Marinara is most proud of the prominent position he expects his masterpiece to hold in your book collection: "Fist Pump is sure to provide an interesting wrinkle to your coffee table . . . ok, let's face it, this is destined for your bathroom."

Believe you me, we here at GameTime, TBD© love quality bathroom reading material. We have ordered our copy and anxiously await its arrival (also, the arrival of Kick-Ass . . . afterall, how can you pass up free super saver shipping?) early next week. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy for your home and [Editor's Note: spoiler alert to GameTime, TBD© staff members with upcoming birthdays] a couple for your friends with birthdays right around the corner. Once you have done that, come on back and check some things you might have missed from this past week in the world of sports:

• The third edition of the Oxford English Dictionary was published on Thursday. Highlights of the 2,000 newest words and phrases to make the big book are "bromance" [Editor's Note: got one], "buzzkill" [Editor's Note: yes, you are], and "vuvuzela".
• We really dropped the ball by not providing you all with weekly updates of the McCourt divorce for the past few months. We start now with this weeks fireworks: (1) how Frank milks even more money out of the organization; and (B) how Frank falsified the ownership documents.
• With confidence at an all-time high after their successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, the Feds look to keep the gravy train rolling along.
• If you are compiling a list of people we should be feeling bad for during this recession, do not forget to include ticket scalpers.
  
• The Tampa Bay Rays truly travel in style.
• Seems like the right thing to do.
  
• ESPN is sick of all the "drama king" athletes and their constant need for media attention . . .
  
• . . . which is why they spend so much time covering Brett Favre and LeBron James and not stories like this.
• Looking for the perfect gift for that someone special (well, besides Fist Pump of course)? Here is an idea for you.
• Maybe I should pick up a copy of Madden 11 after all.
• "Time was when they wouldn’t allow you to bring a soda into the stands at the high school gym for fear that you might spill it." Times, they are a changing.
• They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Apparently Eva Longoria's butt is worth twelve eyes.

Did you order your copy of the book yet? If you did, you may proceed to the next section of the Link Dump. If you have not, kindly click here, follow the instructions, return to GameTime, TBD©, and proceed to the fine clips we have collected for your viewing pleasure:

• Jimmy Kimmel is taking over late-night television. His weekly "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" segment certainly does not hurt.
• Here is your weekly dose of uh-mazing local commercials.
• And for Antonio Cromartie's next trick, he will list the names of his baby mamas. [Editor's Note: how did that phrase not make the OED?]
• Cause a seven-pound rubber sex toy to the face is bad for your health.
• This week's edition of "Real or Fake?" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . click click click click click, click click click, click . . . click . . . . . click] Roger Federer.
• You might think this video deserves the "Real or Fake?" tag as well, but, if you watch golf, you know these guys can do a lot with a club and ball.
• Stephen Colbert pulls a Brett Favre, only after making fun of Brett Favre. How many more times can I say Brett Favre? Brett Favre.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Actual Sick Day

Unfortunately, the GameTime, TBD© household has been ravaged by a fierce cold over the course of this past week. In fact, both My Better Half and The Chief got sent home from work early during the week by their respective bosses because their colds were that bad. We checked in with The Chief this morning and he said that an afternoon under the care of Dr. Elliot Reid had really helped, he was feeling significantly better, and he would be back to full strength hopefully by the end of the weekend so that all systems would be a go next week.

So, while we do not have any official Link Dump for you today, we thought a picture of Dr. Elliot Reid might help make you feel better on this Friday as well:


Have a great weekend everyone!

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Race

[Face shows mock surprise] Oh, hello there. We did not expect to see you so soon. You might have picked up some small hints that things were getting pretty crazy in the real world and that, as a result, our little corner of the World Wide Web was suffering. Okay, so maybe it was not a hint so much as an outright declaration, but you know how we like to keep you all in the loop. But, thankfully, things quieted down a lot faster than we anticipated and we are back with a fresh and fantastic Link Dump to help get you to that weekend.

As you know, a little over ten weeks ago, the Chief embarked on quest to get himself ready for, and run in, the San Francisco Half Marathon. He set what he thought was a conservative time goal of two hours (a pace of just under 9:10 per mile), but, as he spoke to some more experienced runners, he began to think that goal might be a little to aggressive. After all, this was a man who was twelve years and fifty pounds removed from high school cross country. So, he kept pounding the pavement, going mile after mile, while doubt slowly crept into his head.

So the Chief and My Better Half [Editor's note: wait, what?] traveled to San Francisco; July 25th finally arrived; the race was run. And it is with great pleasure that we report to you, our avid readers and great supporters of the Chief, that he traversed the 13.1 miles in 1:59:33 (9:08 per mile), beating his goal with a full twenty-seven seconds to spare. And then a funny thing happened, except, it is not funny if you know the Chief. In fact, it was downright predictable.

Mixing the Chief with athletic competition never ends well for the athletic competition . . . I mean, the saying "It's a competition, and [the Chief's] in it" didn't just materialize out of nothingness. By the time My Better Half had finished providing her celebratory compliments and kisses [Editor's note: should I be worried?], the following thought had already run through the Chief's head: "If I can run sub-2:00, why can't I run sub-1:55? And if I can run sub-1:55, why can't I run sub-1:45?" And once those thoughts went through his head . . . well . . . it was only a matter of time. By the following Tuesday the Chief had mapped out every workout between July 27, 2010 and February 6, 2011, when he will run not his second, but third half marathon in a little over six months with a sprint-distance triathlon thrown in just for kicks. So mark you calendars for November 14, 2010 (Big Sur Half Marathon in Monterey, CA) and February 6, 2011 (Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach, CA), and get ready for some classic Chief competition stories, because this train is moving down the tracks and there is no stopping it now.

Between you and me, I think the Chief has got a few wires loose upstairs. I mean, do not get us wrong, he is still as smart, witty, and charming as ever, but who wants to train for and run three half marathons in six months? So, while we sit here and carefully watch the Chief for signs of . . . well . . . we do not know what exactly, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was:

• There is a reason we keep things as anonymous as possible around here, and, let us be honest, we are not even that important.
• Come for the skydiving scrabble, stay for the everything else.
  
• I am going to go out on a limb and say John P. Lopez was never in a fraternity.
  
• "Suh won in a blowout reminiscent of a typical Lions’ Sunday." Yup, that about sums up the Detroit Lions organization.
  
• You stay classy, Michael Irvin.
• This story contains the following phrases: "neighborhood pool", "9-year-old kids", and "gainers off the board". Yet, it is totally not what you think.
  
• Fear the Penguins.
• You did not think crappy baseball was the only reason people were not showing up to Rays baseball games, did you?
• It is nice to see that economists have found a good use for their time during this global economic downturn. You know, like analyzing Jose Cancesco's impact on his teammates.
• I am willing to bet having 14.3-times more than the normal ratio of testosterone in your system might make you a little over-aggressive as well.
  
• Deep inside the walls of Bristol, ESPN is probably planning its next great one-hour prime time special. [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch the videos.]
• Green Power Ranger successful in MMA debut, guilty of profiting off of lamest catch phrase ever. Rita Repulsa unavailable for poorly-dubbed comment.

Since we deprived you of your weekly source of entertainment for the past two weeks, we decided to make it up to you with a collection of videos that is 14.3-times the normal ratio of awesomeness:

• "Hey Janice? Great talk." The best fifty-seven seconds of Vince Vaughn's career. [Editor's Note: that's what she said . . . HEY-OH]
  
• Asian carp also make very skilled outfielders.
• Reason number 2,743,691 we are thankful for the World Wide Web.
• Judging by the sculptor's reaction, the reporter should be glad he is walking away fully intact.
• Another "This Week In Unnecessary Censorship"? Yes please.
• And the hits just keep on coming.
• This video is UH-MAZING on so many levels; I wish I was of UGA's Class of 2014.

Have a great weekend everyone!