I We Todd Did

It was a banner night in the GameTime, TBD© house last Friday night. My Better Half flew the coop and head off to San Diego for a "girls weekend", leaving me all alone as the king of my castle. Unfortunately, the plans for my big group orgy fell through, so that left my calendar pretty open. As you know, I was fully prepared to watch Coco host The Tonight Show for the last time, but how I was going to pass the time before it started was a complete mystery. Well, as life often does, the answer became clear the minute I got home.

For starters, my Better Half had ever so nicely sorted the dirty laundry in the bedroom. Now, I am not nearly as smart as she is, so it took me a while to decipher the code, which, as it turns out, was "Do the laundry." But laundry is not something that requires constant attention (unless sitting in your garage and watching a machine shake is entertaining to you . . . but then, I'd assume you're not reading this blog . . . but I digress), so I needed something to pass the time while the washing machine worked its magic. And that is when I saw it, right there on my DirecTV channel guide: the season finale of Jersey Shore. One word: UH-MAZING! I had never watched any of the season, but had heard plenty about it from the likes of BFF and Barnicle, one of my oldest friends. Barnicle had even hosted a Jersey Shore season finale viewing party the night before. As the show progressed, I could literally feel the brain cells in my head dying off. Then, out of nowhere, J-Woww (an actual character nickname) described her ideal man as a "juice-head gorilla", and when she went to the beach to find her some man meat, she inquired "Where are all the juice-head gorillas?" And that was when it happened, my IQ took a fifty point hit; that, and I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, I stuck around for Jersey Shore: The Reunion. I mean, who does not need to learn about the art of fist pumping? This is serious people, the beat wants to fight you so you have to beat the beat up. To think, for the longest time, I thought this was a big spoof; now I know it is real.

What I am trying to say is this: if I seem M.I.A. for the next week or so, do not be afraid. It just means my daily G.T.L. schedule has gotten the best of me. Speaking of which, I am running a little late on the daily schedule. So, while I head out to get my G.T.L. on, here are some things you might have missed to keep you entertained (and smart) for the rest of the afternoon:

• If you had Ray Maualuga in the "Next Cincinnati Bengal to Get Arrested" pool, you may collect your winnings now. Pays double if you also had "DUI in a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire."
• If you see this man in or around the Miami area on February 7, 2010, please contact your local police station. He may be rocking out a great set list.
• "Saintsmania" has permeated the city? EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES (or just take the week off).
• "This is not Detroit, man. THIS IS THE SUPER BOWL." Yes, I am offended (not really).
• I heard his wife had already bought the shears.
• Three words I never thought I would write together: transgender sodomy lawsuit.
• If you are lucky, this man will be playing for your NFL team come next season. Congratulations.
• The SEC is not a fan of fans who love their schools in moments of great triumph.
• Talk about one of your all-time backfires. [Editor's Note: Make sure to watch the video as well, and then check out what happened while the news reporter was filming his intro to the story.]
• This is a story of a cursed high school hockey rink.
• Not too long ago, Charlie Davies was lucky to be alive. Now, it is possible he will be back with the national team in time for the 2010 World Cup.
• Meanwhile, this guy probably will not make it to South Africa this summer.
• It always comes full circle with sex offenders.
• I am sorry, Jim Nantz said what?

Seriously people, one week of G.T.L. and I am feeling swolle' and looking good. All I need is some 'roids so I can complete my transformation to juice-head gorilla; just the man my Better Half has always wanted. Now, I just need to get my hair cut so I can load it up with twenty pounds of gel. I do not want it flopping around while I am out at the clubs beating up the beat. So, while I try to find my local Guido Cuts, you should enjoy this collection of clips for your viewing pleasure:

• I hope, for your sake, your college does not have to play the mighty Nanooks of Alaska, Fairbanks this season.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, I have found myself wondering what it would be like to compete in the Skeleton. Oh look, the answer.
• A decently funny Lonely Island spoof. Never thought it could happen.
• I am sorry, they have tremendous what?
• I am thankful there are people out there with may too much free time on their hands.
• Perhaps all celebration music should be this great. Oh yeah, nice goal too.
• And, yes, we can not have a post about Jersey Shore without one or two shockingly accurate representations of what the show is all about.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Great Googly Moogly

We are running a little behind schedule this morning (borderline afternoon), but that is not going to stop us from getting some entertainment headed your direction. No judge, no matter how long-winded or how meticulous, is going to stop GameTime, TBD© from getting you your weekly source of entertainment, or as you call it, the Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said.], a brief comment on the Pacific 10 Men's Basketball Conference . . . or as I now call it, the Wac-10. The Wac-10 is appropriate for two reasons: (1) I think any team from the Western Athletic Conference (the actual WAC conference) could compete in the Pac-10 this season; and (b) things have gotten just down right wacky in the conference this season. Everyone (and their mother) knew the Pac-10 was going to have a down year in terms of overall performance, but no one knew it was going to get this bad. The conference is a combined 5-13 against AP Top 25 teams this year and all teams are within two games of the conference lead. California and Arizona State (really?) are tied for the league lead and Washington, the preseason favorite to essentially runaway with the league, is struggling at 3-4 in the league after last nights last-second loss to UCLA. Oh, UCLA.

It seems like only yesterday you were playing in your third-straight Final Four. After watching you struggle through your non-conference schedule (5-7), you started Pac-10 play with a surprising win over Arizona State. Then you got blown out by Arizona, and that pattern has continued; a nice win in your mid-week game, a blow out loss on the weekend. Yet I can not quit you. At 3-3 in the conference, you are right there in the mix. Now if only you would string a few nice games together with, oh, I do not know, a little effort. You might be surprised at the result.

So with that being said, I encourage you to follow the Wac-10 for the rest of the season. Not because of the great basketball you are going to see, but rather because of just how crazy-bad things are. But before you go boning (hehehe . . . bone) up on your Wac-10 information, feel free to check out some things you might have missed:

• In non-sports related [read: hot-chick related] news, the world was rocked by news that Marisa Miller would parting ways with Victoria's Secret. Thankfully, Victoria has since stated the story is false. What would we have done without this?
• I did not realize "ambiguous sexual characteristics" required the creation of "special medical centers". I thought the five o'clock shadow (amongst other "things") usually gave it away.
  
• Are you ready for the AFC and NFC championships? The Sports Guy certainly is.
• You too can see JaMarcus Russell's c-cups for just a handful of beads.
  
• Hey Rueben, how have you been spending your time since being cut by the Giants? Oh, I see.
• With all the "hostess" hoopla going on in the SEC, Mississippi State is going a different route to attract recruits. [Editor's Note: sorry in advance for the picture.]
  
• I really wish this was a link to a story by The Onion. Sadly, it is not.
• While most Major League Baseball players are trying to get off the juice, Miguel Cabrera is trying to get off the sauce.
• Maybe he can get together with Hammer.
• Sportsmanship at its finest . . . if by finest you mean fouling the other team to keep the clock from running so you can still reach one hundred points. Karma's a bitch.
  

Sorry we are a little light on links this week. Between running behind and the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is football, things were a little scarce in the creativity and humor department. So, in our infinite wisdom (someone's got to have some, right?), we have decided to give an extra large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure on this very wet Friday:

• John Daly (looking svelte as ever my man) weighs in on Tiger Woods 'cause . . . well . . . why not?
• This was the "Highlight of the Night" on Sports Centre . . . no, that is not a typo.
  
• You know that we are a suckers for a good nut shot . . . no matter how long ago it occurred.
  
• Could 2010 be the year of win? . . .
  
• . . . Guess not. Remember kids, crack kills.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, it is good remember the great moments we are likely to see (besides wardrobe malfunctions of course).
• David Letterman proves yet again he is his writers are still the funniest in late night television [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch Coco's final show on NBC tonight.]
• Speaking of Coco, he is on a mission to spend as much money as possible during his final week at NBC. Here are attempts one and two.

Have a great weekend everyone!

This Sucks

I am sorry to say, the fine folks of GameTime, TBD© have been swamped and will not be able to get you your weekly dose of entertainment and news, more lovingly known as the Link Dump. We hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us. We were looking forward to it because of all that has transpired this week (seriously, of all the weeks . . .). If by chance the storm breaks in the near future, we will see what we can do.

But rest assured, we will never leave you empty handed. Our lone offer this week is Stephen Colbert and Mark McGwire's case of "pussy eye" [Editor's Note: his words, not ours]:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sport Report - Gilbert Arenas & Mark McGwire
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

Have a great weekend everyone!

Look What I Found

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we strive to bring you not only entertaining original work and weekly news, but also inside scoops that might not be available elsewhere.

I was enjoy lunch at my office desk last Friday, reminiscing about the fabulous Link Dump we had completed earlier in the day, when I nearly choked on my sandwich [Subway, eat fresh]. I had swung by ESPN.com to see if anything exciting had occurred and Chris Mortensen was reporting that Pete Carroll was leaving USC for the open Seattle Seahawks coaching position. I will admit, I was a little surprised when the Seahawks fired Jim Mora, Jr. after only one year, and it made sense that they would only fire him if they had someone lined up already, so I could see the validity in the Mort Report's . . . err . . . report. But I believe an ESPN scoop about as often as I believe the hot bartender is actually hitting on me and not just working for a bigger tip [read: not often]. Plus, these Pete-Carroll-to-the-NFL rumors happen every year and, as a UCLA fan, I have gotten tired of hoping he makes yet another bonehead decision and actually leaves for the NFL. But when I head Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News' Inside USC claim, while it was not official (because Seattle still had to comply with the "Rooney Rule" . . . is there any bigger sham in the NFL than the "Rooney Rule"? . . . what a joke . . . but I digress, something for another day), Carroll to Seattle was a "done deal".

Even though I am a UCLA guy, I, like everyone else in Southern California, know more than a few people who attended USC. Some of them annoy me to no end, while others are actually decent human beings. One such person is my buddy TR. He is one of those rare USC alums who, while a die hard fan, is down to earth and can talk evenly about SC and UCLA (like I said, rare). He, like many of the educated, knew Pete Carroll was a . . . err . . . not nice person, but put up with it because they were winning. TR is also a guy who always knows someone. Need tickets to something? TR can get them. Want to get into the newest and hottest club? Not a problem for TR. We all have a friend like this. So when the news broke, I immediately sent TR a text to see (1) how he was doing, and (b) what, if anything, he had heard from inside the USC Athletic Department. He, like most SC football fans, was praying it was not true but promised to get back to me once he talked to his "guy in the athletic department". Well, as promised, I received an email yesterday with some interesting details. This whole thing is one big power play pulled by the Board of Trustees, who are fed up with the job Mike Garrett has done. Here is the text of the entire email fromTR's "guy in the athletic department":

"Here is exactly what is happening, in a nutshell:

The early success of Pete Carroll ["PC"] created a chain reaction at USC. Whereas before, Mike Garrett was extremely hands-on in his treatment of football, he decided to let PC run the show without any interference. Further up the food chain, the University gave Garrett free rein to give PC free rein.

PC had unprecedented control of the football program. He often talked about that fact as why it was superior to being in the NFL. He could get any player he wanted into school, he raised funds for his own projects, he decided who his staff would and wouldn't be, he pushed for upgrades to facilities, he did everything in his style, with no restrictions, etc., etc., etc.

Over the course of time, there were issues. Players acting like fools (as they often do), investigations, PR embarrassments, etc. Individually, they were able to be handled without any problems. But over time, their accumulation started to create a perception that PC wasn't in control of things and that, indeed, NO ONE was in control.

Now, when [former basketball coach Tim] Floyd was hired, Garrett (in his infinite wisdom), decided to take the same hands-off approach with basketball. His [theory] was that if you leave your coaches alone, they'll succeed. As a result, there was zero oversight over basketball, as with football. Of course, this came back to bite Garrett on the ass, as Floyd (left to his own devices) got the program into trouble.

This is when the Board of Trustees started having enough and started demanding that Garrett re-assert his control over these two sports. Then, a few other PC pecadillos hit the grapevine and by the time the McKnight story hit, the University was well on its way to going over Garrett's head to take back control of what they saw as an out-of-control situation. This is why you saw University PR and legal handling Floyd's issue and McKnight's issue.

As all this happened, a movement started growing among the Trustees to use this whole process to get rid of Garrett and replace him with someone like [former USC quarterback and current Trustee] Pat Haden. Garrett did not have control of his coaches and his coaches were embarrassing the University. [Garrett] was brought into [USC President Steven B.] Sample's office at one point and Sample ripped him a new asshole. Garret, in an effort to show he had control, started getting involved in football and basketball and the [transition has] not been good as PC hasn't had to deal with Garrett butting in for most of the last eight years.

In the end, PC left because his most coveted possession--total control--was on the way out. He would've no longer been able to get whoever he wanted into school, he was going to have to relinquish control over how he did some things and there was going to be meddling over who could be on his staff and what kind of discipline would be instilled over the program.

Feelers started coming to PC during the season and when the offer from Seattle finally came, he took it. Simple as that. It was, in his mind, the best option available to him as he would no longer be able to be himself (as he saw it) at USC. Furthermore, it is in his nature to want to compete and proving himself at his true love--the NFL--has always been in his heart.

There will be some dirty laundry aired in the next few months. [Editor's Note: As Yahoo! Sports is reporting, the NCAA has concluded it's investigation of the USC Athletic Department (focusing on football and basketball), and this same guy has assured us sanctions are coming (likely in the spring) and they will be "disastrous".] But that is really not the reason PC left (though a lot of things contributed to the effort of the University to take back control)."

Take what you will from that email, but I thought I would at least share some of my thoughts: (1) I do not care what people say, the pending sanctions absolutely had something to do with Carroll's decision to leave; (b) if we needed any additional evidence that Carroll is a douche, I think we have it; and (iii) it appears time for Mike Garrett to update his resume.

It will be interesting to see what comes of USC's coaching search. There are already reports that the search is in the hands of Pat Haden and Trustee Chair Ed Roski, not Mike Garrett, and the pending sanctions against the program and/or athletic department will not make it any easier. A lot of names are already floating around (TR is begging for Boise State's Chris Peterson, but I don't see him leaving the friendly confines of the smurf turf with all that is going on at USC with NCAA and the fact Boise St. has a legitimate shot at the national title next season). Although he is denying it, my money is on former-USC linebacker Jack Del Rio. I know he has fifteen million reasons to stay with Jacksonville, but, as noted in last week's Link Dump, his job is not exactly secure at this point in time. I would not be surprised to see some financial settlement occur, whereby Del Rio "resigns" from the Jacksonville coaching position (a man has to keep his dignity) and becomes the new coach of the USC Trojans. So, I would like offer this one piece of advice to Mr. Del Rio when he begins his formal negotiations with USC: do not forget to ask for the house on The Strand.

[Editor's Note: here's your fun fact for the day: Mark McGwire (yes, that Mark McGwire) played baseball for USC from 1981 to 1984. The starting catcher those years? Why, that would be none other than Jack Del Rio. Grab a napkin, homie. You just got served . . . with knowledge.]

Off and Running

Happy New Year everyone! The folks here at GameTime, TBD© hope you all had happy, healthy, and safe 2009 holiday season. We certainly did.

About this time of year, all the magazines are telling you how to make 2010 the best year ever. Their first piece of advise is usually to cut down on the New Year's Resolutions, make them more reasonable. Well, the just would not be the Chief's style. No, no. At current count, there are five resolutions, and most of them are the usual resolutions (loss weight, make my Better Half as happy as possible, blah, blah, blah). But on of my resolutions was brought front and center during the first week of 2010. Who could ask for more?

The resolution I am talking about now is this: I would like to see GameTime, TBD© play some role in making the (sports) blog-o-sphere a more responsible arena for the sharing of information to the masses. There is no denying that sports blogs are here to stay and that they have reached the level of mainstream media. Many have the ability to break news or bring stories to more people faster than most normal channels of media. That is why many of the creators of the more popular blogs have been offered positions with more established media outlets (ESPN, SI, etc.). But there is one thing the sports blogs tend to do that established media outlets do not: post news and information with little to no fact checking.

Case in point: if you watched the Fiesta Bowl on Monday night, these ten seconds flashed across your television screen during halftime. Almost instantaneously, the blog-o-sphere was put to action, posting links to the video, creating animated GIFs, and generally having fun at the expense of a girl who seemed to be playing a pretty uninspired cowbell (really, explore the studio space this time). I saw the moment during the telecast and thought nothing of it. I saw the ten-second clip on most of the blogs I visit regularly and thought something just did not seem right; and I was right (she's never even been to Mt. Vesuvius). For the better part of six hours, many posts, hundreds (if not thousands) of emails (I got 5 myself within the first hour from some friends), and probably millions of comments were made about "Sad Cowbell Girl". And believe you me, most of the things people said were not nice.

Yes, I know around these parts we have fun at other people's expense quit frequently; I am not claiming to be some angel. But most of those videos we post are people doing stupid things (and yes, we have more for you today . . . 2010 starts with a bang). I am not trying to say that we should stop people from putting that ten-second clip on YouTube or what not. I am just saying that many of the sports blogs out there need to realize they are part of the mainstream media now. Some people turn to them more than ESPN or CBSSports or SI these days. And yes, I dream of a day when GameTime, TBD© plays a role similar to that (maybe I should consider putting a little more time into it then . . . hey, wait a sec, that's right there at #3 on my resolution list, go figure). So it is time that we all accept a little more responsibility for our actions. Thankfully the Boise St.'s cowbell player is blind, so she will only ever know what people tell her. She will never see those things that have been written about her. But her family will, and so will her friends, and I, for one, do not want to be a part of making anyone feel sad, hurt, or angry (unless they bring it upon themselves by letting someone video tape them doing something stupid and not destroying the evidence immediately thereafter . . . then you totally get what you deserve).

I am sure 2010 is going to be a great year of sports and the bloggers of the world will play a large in that. So I am calling on all of us to make sure we take whatever extra steps necessary to ensure that we are contributing to the greatness, not taking away from it (Fox is going to do plenty of that on its own, they don't need our help). With that, here is my first contribution to 2010:

• I do not know when this picture of Marisa Miller and Brooklyn Decker was taken . . . and more importantly, I do not care. You. Are. Welcome (assuming hot attractive female blonds are your thing).
  
• The title says it all: "10 Fictional Sporting Events We'd Pay Good Money to Attend". [Bonus: includes video.]
• The NBA would like to remind you that guns do not kill people, gambling debts that lead to people brandishing firearms kill people.
  
• Let me see, that makes four career touchdowns and four career arrests. Matt Millan's brilliance astounds me.
• Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio will interview next week for the head coaching position in Jacksonville. Wait a sec . . .
  
• Apparently whales are beaching themselves in Kansas City these days. I did not even realize Kansas City had beaches.
  
• Too bad for you, I submitted my resume yesterday morning. Rest assured, Sara Tetzler, your job is safe.
• Looks like Tennessee will not be fielding very many competitive teams next year.
• If you take only one thing from this article, let it be that the Baseball Writers Association of American has a Secretary Treasurer. And they wonder why everyone else thinks they are full of themselves.
• Countless (read: 5) fans will be devastated by this news.
• Why God, why?
• Tough break for those of you who took Houston (Lee) High +134. They almost had it.

I think my favorite quote in that last story is the one where the Yates' coach talks about not wanting to be a bad coach. I totally understand where he is coming from . . . not. That guy totally deserves to get punched in the face (I hear Jim Leavitt is available to help me out). Speaking of getting punched in the face:

• It is "The Best Fails of 2009" (long, but totally worth it).
• And we have an early candidate for "The Best Fails of 2010".
• Amazing goal . . . no amazing goal . . . no, amazing goal.
• DJ Steve Porter (whose first and second appearances on GameTime, TBD© were two of your favorites last year) is back with more goodness.

Well, there you have it. We are officially off and running in 2010. Have a great weekend everyone!

Happy Holidays To All . . .

. . . and to all a good night. I know that is not the exact quote, but we try to keep things politically correct here at GameTime, TBD© and we like to think we have attracted a diverse readership. That would mean not everyone coming across our little corner of the World Wide Web celebrates Christmas and we are fine with that.

This here is our last official Link Dump of 2009, and that means it is the last official Link Dump of the first decade of the twenty-first century. I am sure you all have noticed the gluttony of "Top __" lists floating around the Internet over the past month or so, all relating to what the biggest deals of the last decade were. If you have come looking for our "Top __" list of the decade, we are sad to say you might be a little disappointed. For starters, the Chief has not decided if it would be too cliche to write up a list of things that happened over the past decade. He is still going back and forth on the whole idea.

We had hoped to get a final answer from him this morning, but . . . well . . . yesterday was his birthday and a long lunch with some colleagues and a dinner with more than a few glasses of wine have left the Chief moving a little slow this morning. In fact, on several occasions we have had to poke him just to make sure he is alive. Turns out he is. The Chief has vowed to live his last three hundred and sixty-five days of his twenties to the fullest, and he certainly appears to have kicked it off with a bang. Good big or go home, that is what the Chief always says, and it is amazing he has not learned to regret those words. We think, however, his mission is more driven out of the fear of actually turning thirty than just actually enjoying his last year of the twenties. So we are turning to you readers who may have already turned that corner, or those who are familiar with someone who has, for a little advice. Should we be worried? Are there any signs we should be looking for that might indicate the Chief is falling off the rails a little bit? Is there anything we can do to make the transition smoother or do we just let him run head first into his thirties like he used to do with cupboards as a child? [Editor's note: true story . . . explains a lot.] Nothing is off limits right now. We love our Chief and we want to make sure he is primed and ready to make his thirties just as great as his twenties. [Editor's note: I think we've just found our "Top __" list, The Top __ Things of the Chief's 20s . . . check back early next week when you're in the office doing anything and everything you can to NOT be working.]

So, we are off to go poke the Chief yet again and start collaborating on this list about his twenties. This can only go one of one ways: UH-MAZING. In the meantime, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• Marisa Miller backstage at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show certainly gets me in the holiday spirit.
• Tiger gets support from the one guy he was hoping for . . . I think . . . probably not.
• Did you know Tiger has been on the front cover of the New York Daily News for twenty straight days? Do you know the last time that happened? 9/11. Between the pending divorce and this, I am willing to wager his streak will not end anytime soon.
• My Jimmy Schwartz is trying to motivate his Kitties the old fashioned way: telling them they suck.
• Mack Brown got a small raise recently and [*gasp*] the rest of the Texas faculty is not too happy about it.
• At this rate, I would not be surprised to see the Alabama government declare Marshall Law for a week. God bless my Alabama brethren.
• Speaking of lawyers and the law, here is your legal lesson for the day: eminent domain.
• Dear Juan, In recognition of your hard work in keeping us alive while Manny was out, we are sending you to Chicago for no one in particular. Xoxoxo, The Dodgers. P.S. Happy Holidays.
• Missouri basketball players get all punchy with a Missouri cheerleader . . . but it is not like you think.
• Screw you guys, I am going home. Ah, ah . . . screw you . . . home.
• I have heard of a lot of strange things happening during workouts, but this takes the cake.

Since it is the Holiday Season (capitalized? not capitalized? who cares), we thought it would be best to go with (almost) all holiday-themed clips. If these do not get you in the mood for a great Christmas (if that's your thing), then I do not know what will.

• Gift ideas from the Chief's man crush? Priceless.
  
• Tiger finally clears the air. [Editor's Note: STRONG language.]
• If only all Christmas shopping was this fun.
• "Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says 'Peep Show', that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas."
• To this day, it remains the greatest gift idea ever. [Editor's Note: remember, username: gametimetbd@gmail.com, password: gametime]

From "all of us" here at GameTime, TBD©, we wish you and your family a happy, healthy, and safe 2009 Holiday Season.

I Swear, I Am Not Crazy

Happy Friday to you all. I hope everyone is surviving this crazy weather we are having . . . well . . . pretty much across the country. At our weekly GameTime, TBD© "staff meeting" this morning it was decided that this will be the second to last official Link Dump of 2009. Apparently, some people were not to thrilled with the idea of trying to put something together for Christmas or New Years. "But what about our Jewish readers?" I replied. Then I discovered when offices close for Christmas, that means everyone stays home. Turns out New Years also falls on Friday. I thought it best to let my "staff" sleep it off that day, rather than putting together some rambling, incoherent Link Dump. So, next week will be the last Friday of 2009 for us to provide you with your weekly does of news and entertainment (it also happens to be the day after the Chief's 29th birthday . . . hint, hint . . .).

Yesterday morning, a nice young man (we'll call him Matt . . . if only because that's what his name tag said) woke up and said "I have to remember to go to my shelf-stocker job at Vons this afternoon." Meanwhile, somewhere across town, it was decided that I would stop and do the grocery shopping after work, while my Better Half spent the day cranking out a take-home (seriously?) final. Now, if you know me (which you obviously do by now), you know that I am a huge popcorn fan (borderline snob). And I am not talking about that microwaveable crap. No; I am talking about the fresh kernels that are popped over an open flame on the stove. Now, back to Matt. Matt went about his day as usual, got work, and began the tedious process of restocking shelves and helping old women reach cans of soup. Then, at about 6:53 p.m. PST, Matt took that fateful turn down the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle, where he ran into me. The conversation went something like this

The Chief: Excuse me, do you know if you have any non-microwave popcorn in the back?
Matt: Whatever we have is already out here.
The Chief: Really?
Matt: [*reaching for bottom shelf*] We have this bag of kernels right here.
The Chief: [*giving the old "really?" expression*] Is that it? You only have Safeway brand?
Matt: Sir, I can assure you the Safeway brand is a quality popcorn.
The Chief: Have you ever had it?
Matt: No.
The Chief: So then, would it be fair to say that you can neither confirm nor deny whether the Safeway brand popcorn kernels are of equal quality to Orville Redenbacher kernels?
Matt: I guess. [*giving the old "what did I do to deserve this?" expression]
The Chief: Okay, well, I know what I am about to say is going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of apples, but between you and me, the two are not even close. Write that down.
Matt: I don't have a pen.
The Chief: Well, remember that then. In the mean time, I'll take what I can and enjoy this Safeway brand popcorn to the best of my ability.
Matt: Well, have a nice night, sir. [*giving the old "I hope you get mowed down in the parking lot by that old lady I just helped who clearly shouldn't be driving" look*]

I know what you are all thinking right about now and, yes, it is true, I did direct him to Orville Redenbacher's Wikipedia page in the middle of our conversation. And, to be quite honest, I think that is where I lost Matt. I think I was about to win him over, but that was just a little too far. But at least he learned something at work yesterday, and that is something he can thank me for next time I pacing the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle looking for my Orville Redenbacher popping corn. And since I was nice enough to teach Matt something this week, here are some things to help make you more informed sports fans:

• In the spirit of the Holiday Season, we start with Marisa Miller in the December issue of Access magazine. Have I ever heard of Access magazine? Who cares.
• While the Senate is stuck debating health care reform, the House has moved on to more important things.
• Brian Kelly's former players wish him nothing but success at his new job.
• Tennessee expects me to believe these chicks are not running the spread offense for high school recruits?
• Speaking of hostesses, here is a brief history of their use at various colleges.
• Penbrook will not tolerate Steelers fans in their county . . . oops, nevermind, apparently they forgot about that whole First Amendment thing. Honest mistake.
• Your "Chad Ochocinco is the most amazing professional athlete ever" update of the week.
• Yesterday, there was some tragic news out of Seattle. Brace yourself.
• I am officially considering a career change.
  
• What could possibly go wrong?
• Tracy McGrady has yet to play in a game this NBA season. Keep that in mind when reading this headline.
• "Bonds' agent concedes slugger's playing days are over." Now, who gets to go tell Barry?
• High school volleyball player lets one get past the blockers, gets benched, sues school. Talk about your no-win situation.

Okay, level with me, should I be feeling guilty about last night? No? Good, I did not think so. I mean, I am not being crazy here. Orville Redenbacher versus Safeway brand? There really is no comparison. Good, thanks for the support. Moving on. Here are some clips for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully, you do not think they suck:

• Selection Sunday at the BCS Headquarters went about as well as anyone expected.
• "Well, a bet's a bet." Only the finest live in the South.
  
• Let me see, goalie scores a goal? Check. Goalie runs the length of the field to celebrate? Check. Teammate gets on top of him and simulates sex? Check.
• My lone mention of Tiger this week: the Tiger Woods Anthem.
• I have said it before, and I will say it again: local commercials rule.
• "Why the Internet is Great" reason number 1,763,459: videos like this.
  
• David Letterman sent out his first official tweet this week, as only David Letterman could.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Where Do We Go From Here?

Actual work (sucks) is going to keep the fine folks at GameTime, TBD© from getting a full Link Dump out to all you fine individuals today. We apologize. But the Chief had a few things he wanted to say real quick before giving you a few videos to at least make your Friday afternoon a little more bearable.

Had we been able to compile a complete Link Dump for you today, undoubtedly fifty percent of the articles would have been related to Tiger Woods and his inability to keep his drives from going down the wrong fairways. Yes, Weiss and (Body by) Mangino were fired; yes, AI is back in Philadelphia; yes, the BCS still sucks; yes, T.J. Simers proved, once again, he is the only Los Angeles Times writer with a brain; and yes, my Better Half and I did watch Marisa Miller and the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show together (your honor, we offer into evidence defense exhibit #1,420,693 as proof my Better Half is awesome: "Alessandra Ambrosio? I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed." The defense rests). However, I am estimating that three out of every five sports articles written this week were about Tiger. As my parents always said, "Nothing good happens after midnight", and when that nothing good happens to the first billion dollar athlete, people seem to take notice. Look, I love that I can make a Tiger Woods' joke now and it brings down the house (did so 3 times last night alone), but I am not about to attack a man's personal problems on the World Wide Web. Yes, I am in the, apparent, minority that believes Tiger is right in requesting we respect his privacy.

But here is what I did want to say: it can not be easy growing up these days. I was a lucky kid in that I had to great parents that I can proudly call role models. But many kids (is that divorce rate still hovering around 50%?) are not that lucky. Instead, they turn to athletes, musicians, and celebrities. Last time I checked, there are not that many good ones out there either (though, to all you ladies age 18-and-over, I strongly recommend Rihanna [*wink*]). And now, perhaps the one man we thought was a good role model, is about to shell out another fifty-five million dollars just to convince his wife to stick around for at least five more years (Elin, take the $30 million and the 3-iron and just tell him to have a nice day). The folks at IMG had done a pretty nice job of packaging Tiger as the perfect man: the best in his sport, generous, and a great family man. And yes, we all make mistakes and no one is perfect (except my Better Half). Yet, while I am still a fan of Tiger Woods the golfer, it is sad to see what has become of him as a person in one week: someone I would not want my yet-to-be-conceived son looking up to.

Sorry to get all heavy there on you for a moment, but like I always say (and it's good to know DP feels the same way): if you need to have a pre-nuptial agreement, you probably should not be getting married in the first place. And with that, here are some video clips to help make at least part of your afternoon a little better:

• Just your average lunch break around the BCS offices.
• Tuts my barreh. [Editor's note: that's what she said!]
• Still debating whether the Slap Chop is the perfect holiday gift for that special somebody? Maybe this will help you decide.
• Looks like he zagged when he should have zigged.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Time to be Thankful

I know you might all have been confused by the Christmas decorations at your local mall, the Christmas music playing in your favorite stores, and the Christmas cups your coffee has been served in ever since Halloween came and went, but I promise you have not missed Thanksgiving. Which (with a runner on third) begs the question: is there any other holiday that gets the shaft like Thanksgiving? [Editor's Note: no, Holiday down at your local Spearmint Rhino is not an acceptable answer . . . funny, yes . . . acceptable, no.]

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we love us some Thanksgiving. For those of you who have been around since the beginning, you will recall the fifth post The Chief ever wrote was an homage to his favorite Turkey Day Traditions. No one, and I mean no one, will stop us from enjoying our Thanksgiving day. Sure, some things have changed over the past three years (really, three already? *patting myself on back*), but they have not changed how much the love we have for Thanksgiving. So, I thought it might be nice if I let you all know about the five things I am most thankful this year:

5. Dean Lombardi: the man has single-handedly returned my beloved Los Angeles Kings to greatness. Okay, maybe not single-handedly, but he has been the most important piece, far and away. Yes, I know the team has hit a bit of a bump in the road (more on this in my quarter-season report coming soon . . . and in a more timely manner than my preseason report), but I have no doubt this team will play through it, regain their early season form, and make their way into the playoffs. Thanks Dean.

4. My Family: even with the death of my Grandpa in January of this year, the GameTime, TBD© family has had a great year. I became an Uncle twice over to two happy and healthy (ten fingers and ten toes!) nephews, got to visit with family members more often than usual, got to congratulate my Brother and Sister-in-Law on one year of marriage, discovered just how great in-laws can be (even as an out-law), saw Dad go back to work a full two-and-a-half years after "retiring" (officially making it two years longer than I expected), had a great family vacation in August, have another great family vacation lined up for New Years, and made more unforgettable memories than I can even begin to list here. I am thankful for the health and happiness of all of my family and am looking forward to another great year.

3. My Better Half: (oops . . . totally forgot about that disclaimer: this list is in no particular order) after seven years, of which we have been married for fifteen months, I can officially say I love her more today than did yesterday, and the day before that, and so on. I mean, seriously, this is a woman who puts up with me . . . if that is not three miracles for Sainthood, I do not know what is. Beyond the love and support I get from my family, I am beyond lucky to have the love and support of this amazing woman. Doing you know anyone who would so willingly let her life be played out over the internet on website devoted to sports and women? I certainly do not. And for that, amongst the many other things she does, I am thankful.

2. All of You: yes, I am thankful for all of my avid readers, those of you who keep me wanting to do more with this site every day. Do not be silly, I know many of you fall into one of the categories above (especially you Dean *wink* . . . wait, my Better Half, definitely meant my Better Half . . . if only there was some way to magically make that first part disappear), but I also know several of my friends have become avid readers and, at least according to my Google Analytics, some people I do not even know who keep coming back for more. As long as you all keep coming back for more, I will keep giving you more (that's what she said . . . ba-ZING).

1. Matthew Stafford: because now he is a man, apparently . . .


I hope all of you out there have a happy, healthy, and safe Thanksgiving weekend. Enjoy your long weekend. We will talk to you next week.

Doing Anything Special This Weekend?

Any particular reason you swung by GameTime, TBD© today? Of course there is. You are looking for your weekly dose of information, entertainment, and, maybe, just maybe, a few good laughs (also known as the Link Dump). But, of course, your Friday is just the start of your weekend, so we were wondering if you had anything special planned for this weekend?

My Better Half has quite the weekend lined up. Believe you me, nothing says a good time like getting down to business and writing a few papers for school (ah, grad school, how I do not miss you). Now, I am a firm believer of making sure you take care of yourself and have a good time on the weekends, so she has assured me her weekend will also consist of a hair cut and an eyebrow waxing . . . wait, what? Men and women certainly do have different weekend priorities. Regardless, she claims this weekend is going to be legendary. But for some reason, I do not think she means it in the same sense as our good pal Barney does. She also said she has a pretty nice little Saturday; she is going to Home Depot, you know, to buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond, she does not know. She does not know if she will have enough time.

I believe I can safely assume you are confused as to why she would be running such errands on her own (if she was actually running those errands . . . if you didn't get that, you should be ashamed of yourself . . . ASHAMED). Well, my dear readers, I shamelessly used my Better Half's weekend homework plans to lead into . . . well . . . some bragging. That is right, I am calling it an early Friday and heading to the airport so I can catch my flight to San Francisco. It has been far too long since I have had a weekend of debauchery with just the boys . . . wait, that came out wrong. The plans include Point Break Live, drinking, possibly attending the Cal/Stanford game, drinking, hitting up the O Club for some squash (no, that's not a euphemism . . . get your mind out of the gutter, we run a classy joint here), drinking, watching my Lions beat down on the Cleveland Browns (believe it or not, the Lions are favored in game; I'll give you moment to stop laughing . . . okay, seriously . . . it's not that funny . . . okay, now you're just be rude), oh, and probably some drinking. Dare I say, this weekend is going to be legen . . . wait for it . . . dary. A weekend that even Barney would be proud of . . . if you exclude suiting up and hooking up with random skanks.

Well, I have got to get some things done before I bail out early to catch my flight (that is why I actually wrote this introduction on Thursday night). For those of you who have plans for the weekend, I hope they are go as well as you hope they will. For those of you who do not, you are losers I hope you are able to relax and have an enjoyable time nonetheless. Regardless, here are some things you might have missed to help you get to those plans a little faster:

• The newest target in stupid parents' attempts to make childhood no fun anymore: dodgeball.
• Zach Greinke is having quite the week. On Tuesday, he won the American League Cy Young Award; on Saturday, he is going to marry her. Tough life.
• Who knew Googling athletes could be so fun?
• Chad Ochocinco is fast becoming my favorite non-Lion NFL player. If you bookmark his Twitter page, he will become yours too.
• If only all Tebow fans were (1) hot, and (b) wore painted-on clothes.
• Rick Neuheisel has taken a novel approach to recruiting: sleeping with the recruits mom.
• Notre Dame is going to replace Charlie Weis without the wrath of ravenous internet bloodhounds.
• As much as we like to bash USC around these parts, it is good to see Stafon Johnson was able to speak again. Surprisingly, his first words were not, "Where's the nearest Song Girl?"
• Once you read their analysis of Kirk Herbstreit, ask yourself this question: did they actually watch any of these people before ranking them?
• One of the greatest endings to a college football game, compliments of the Division II playoffs (with video highlights . . . hey BCS fools, take a hint).
• Anyone who has been to a Pac-10 basketball in the past ten years was already aware of this.
• You remember that awesome video of the New Mexico soccer player taking out her aggression on BYU? Yes, the media response was blown way out of proportion, so let us get her side of things.
• I can think of about ten thousand better ways to spend $200,000, and those are just the ways involving women.

Tick . . . tock . . . tick . . . tock. Seriously, has my clock stopped? My 4:45 p.m. flight seems like it will never get here. On the other hand, you are probably thinking your 5:00 p.m work departure time will never get here. Rest assured, my dear readers, we have a fine collection of clips for your viewing pleasure to help it get here faster:

• When you watch this video, you'll probably think the barista slipped something into your Starbucks this morning. I promise, she did not.
• Cartwheeling goalie for the . . . fail.
• "Wait 'til they see my 'O'" (face? . . . ba-ZING!).
• If she lived in Columbia, she would be shot on the spot. Here in America, she is just cute.
• Sir, I am not positive, but I think those are the wrong balls.
• It is good to celebrate your goals in style.
• If only all of John Mellencamp's commercials were this good.

Have a great weekend everyone!