By now you all know that one of the Chief's biggest weaknesses is reality television that highlights the worst of American society. And there is no denying that MTv cast out a large hook with its release of Jersey Shore in 2009. The Chief valiantly tried to resist but, ultimately, the bait was too tempting and he got hooked. And the Chief was not the only one; in fact, we have first hand knowledge that several of you, our dear readers, could not resist the temptation either (there goes your aspiring political career). In fact, the American public's new-found infatuation with the "guido culture" has been quite astonishing. So infatuated has the American public become [Editor's Note: thanks, Yoda], a publishing company approached the founder of GuidoFistPump.com, Guido DiErio, and asked if he would be willing to write a book that helped provide the American public world with a better understanding of the guido culture.
The third edition of the Oxford English Dictionary was published on Thursday. Highlights of the 2,000 newest words and phrases to make the big book are "bromance" [Editor's Note: got one], "buzzkill" [Editor's Note: yes, you are], and "vuvuzela".
We really dropped the ball by not providing you all with weekly updates of the McCourt divorce for the past few months. We start now with this weeks fireworks: (1) how Frank milks even more money out of the organization; and (B) how Frank falsified the ownership documents.
ESPN is sick of all the "drama king" athletes and their constant need for media attention . . .
. . . which is why they spend so much time covering Brett Favre and LeBron James and not stories like this.
Looking for the perfect gift for that someone special (well, besides Fist Pump of course)? Here is an idea for you.
Maybe I should pick up a copy of Madden 11after all.
"Time was when they wouldn’t allow you to bring a soda into the stands at the high school gym for fear that you might spill it." Times, they are a changing.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Apparently Eva Longoria's butt is worth twelve eyes.
This week's edition of "Real or Fake?" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . click click click click click, click click click, click . . . click . . . . . click] Roger Federer.
You might think this video deserves the "Real or Fake?" tag as well, but, if you watch golf, you know these guys can do a lot with a club and ball.
Stephen Colbert pulls a Brett Favre, only after making fun of Brett Favre. How many more times can I say Brett Favre? Brett Favre.
So, while we do not have any official Link Dump for you today, we thought a picture of Dr. Elliot Reid might help make you feel better on this Friday as well:
[Face shows mock surprise] Oh, hello there. We did not expect to see you so soon. You might have picked up some small hints that things were getting pretty crazy in the real world and that, as a result, our little corner of the World Wide Web was suffering. Okay, so maybe it was not a hint so much as an outright declaration, but you know how we like to keep you all in the loop. But, thankfully, things quieted down a lot faster than we anticipated and we are back with a fresh and fantastic Link Dump to help get you to that weekend.
As you know, a little over ten weeks ago, the Chief embarked on quest to get himself ready for, and run in, the San Francisco Half Marathon. He set what he thought was a conservative time goal of two hours (a pace of just under 9:10 per mile), but, as he spoke to some more experienced runners, he began to think that goal might be a little to aggressive. After all, this was a man who was twelve years and fifty pounds removed from high school cross country. So, he kept pounding the pavement, going mile after mile, while doubt slowly crept into his head.
So the Chief and My Better Half [Editor's note: wait, what?] traveled to San Francisco; July 25th finally arrived; the race was run. And it is with great pleasure that we report to you, our avid readers and great supporters of the Chief, that he traversed the 13.1 miles in 1:59:33 (9:08 per mile), beating his goal with a full twenty-seven seconds to spare. And then a funny thing happened, except, it is not funny if you know the Chief. In fact, it was downright predictable.
Mixing the Chief with athletic competition never ends well for the athletic competition . . . I mean, the saying "It's a competition, and [the Chief's] in it" didn't just materialize out of nothingness. By the time My Better Half had finished providing her celebratory compliments and kisses [Editor's note: should I be worried?], the following thought had already run through the Chief's head: "If I can run sub-2:00, why can't I run sub-1:55? And if I can run sub-1:55, why can't I run sub-1:45?" And once those thoughts went through his head . . . well . . . it was only a matter of time. By the following Tuesday the Chief had mapped out every workout between July 27, 2010 and February 6, 2011, when he will run not his second, but third half marathon in a little over six months with a sprint-distance triathlon thrown in just for kicks. So mark you calendars for November 14, 2010 (Big Sur Half Marathon in Monterey, CA) and February 6, 2011 (Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach, CA), and get ready for some classic Chief competition stories, because this train is moving down the tracks and there is no stopping it now.
Between you and me, I think the Chief has got a few wires loose upstairs. I mean, do not get us wrong, he is still as smart, witty, and charming as ever, but who wants to train for and run three half marathons in six months? So, while we sit here and carefully watch the Chief for signs of . . . well . . . we do not know what exactly, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was:
You did not think crappy baseball was the only reason people were not showing up to Rays baseball games, did you?
It is nice to see that economists have found a good use for their time during this global economic downturn. You know, like analyzing Jose Cancesco's impact on his teammates.
I am willing to bet having 14.3-times more than the normal ratio of testosterone in your system might make you a little over-aggressive as well.
Deep inside the walls of Bristol, ESPN is probably planning its next great one-hour prime time special. [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch the videos.]
Green Power Ranger successful in MMA debut, guilty of profiting off of lamest catch phrase ever. Rita Repulsa unavailable for poorly-dubbed comment.
Since we deprived you of your weekly source of entertainment for the past two weeks, we decided to make it up to you with a collection of videos that is 14.3-times the normal ratio of awesomeness:
"Hey Janice? Great talk." The best fifty-seven seconds of Vince Vaughn's career. [Editor's Note: that's what she said . . . HEY-OH]
