It's Back, And So Are We (Almost)

It has been exactly one hundred and sixty-five days--that is five months and twelve days for those of you not willing to count--since the San Jose Sharks end our beloved Los Angeles Kings 2010-2011 season in the first round of the playoffs.  And while some friends of the program [*cough* Ballgame *cough*] are too busy dancing around in fields of dandelions to notice, in a little over twenty-three minutes, the puck will drop on the Kings' 2011-2012 season and their first legitimate shot at a run for the Stanley Cup since a guy named Gretzky played here.

I know what you are thinking right about now: "A ten a.m. faceoff? The NHL has truly lost its mind."  Well, yes and no.  It is a ten a.m. faceoff because the game is being played in Stockholm, Sweden.  This is both cool and lame.  Cool, because it is fun to see the NHL share its talent with the world; lame, because it falls at the start of the work day here in California and, more importantly to our avid readers, in the middle of when the Chief should be putting the finishing touches on your weekly source of entertainment known as our Link Dump.

Well, needless to say, the Chief is far too preoccupied this morning with the expectations of the season to get around to a Link Dump for everyone, but at our "staff" meeting last night he made a few announcements that we are excited to share with you all today:  (1) the Chief's always entertaining season preview is in its final stages of preparation (blame Drew Doughty) and should be up and running sometime this weekend; (b) with expectations high for this year's team, the Chief has decided to it would be enjoyable for all of you to feel what he feels throughout the course of the season and will be writing weekly, if not more frequent, season updates for your enjoyment; and (iii) since he could not find the time to get you a Link Dump, the Chief at least was willing to find time to find a way (that's a lot of finding he did) to get you all somewhat interested in the start of the Kings season, with a little help from Kings Ice Girl Gabby.  It truly is summer all year long in Southern California.

The Chief also want me to reassure all of you that GameTime, TBD© is not about to become a Kings-only site; we will to our best to continue our Link Dumps and touch upon any major sports-related topic that may arise in the normal course of business.  For example, do not forget to tune in to Monday Night Football this coming Monday, when Jay Cutler may ACTUALLY die on the football field when his offensive line-less Chicago Bears travel to Detroit for the much anticipated (at least by the Chief) showdown with the Lions.

In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!

No Time; There's Never Any Time . . .

There is so much to talk about these days but, unfortunately, we do not have any time to talk about them . . . at least today.

First and foremost, we had an unexcused absence last week, and for that we apologize.  The Chief got hauled of to Chicago for actual work and, well, nothing happens around these parts without the Chief's say.  He was originally supposed to have time last Friday morning to finalize a short message but instead tried to catch an earlier flight home.  You can not blame a man for trying to get back to Southern California early, can you? 

What is that? You can?  Hmmm . . . I will make sure to pass that information along.

Unfortunately, actual work is also going to keep us from bringing you a full fledged Link Dump this week as well.  It is sad, really, because there is so much for us to talk about.  The Detroit Lions are back; the Los Angeles Kings played their first preseason game (hockey's back!); it is Bruce Springsteen's birthday today; the Boston Red Sox are in the middle of an epic end-of-season collapse which has decimated our once-promising experiment; we could go on and on and on.  But it was not meant to be today.  We. Are. Sorry.  Hopefully Marisa can cleanse us of our guilt (see what I did there?).

So, while we are not bringing you a full Link Dump this week, we thought we would at least provide you with some videos to help get you through your Friday.  Better than nothing, right?

• Take it from someone who has been there, nothing good comes from being the straight-gay friend.
• A look at what the Chief does in his spare time.  He is talented like that.  [Editor's Note: yes, I know a million other things ran through your head about what the Chief does in his spare time . . .]
• I knew Alec was hiding from his brothers!
• "Ain't no way, yo!"
• FIFA 12 is coming out soon for your preferred game system, and EA Sports has mercilessly abused my man crush on both Steve Nash and Landon Donovan to promote it.
• I have no idea what this event is, but at least Joey is okay.
• Keep your eye on the ball kid.  Well done.
• Last night was the 300th edition of JKL's "Unnecessary Censorship", and apparently someone in the audience really liked hearing Mr. Rogers fake swear.
• Secondary highlight of this video: "Craig Jams 4 Senataur (paid 4 by espn)"
• What better way to learn the rules of rugby than from scantily-clad/oiled-up ladies?  You. Are. Welcome.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Dear God, It's Beautiful!

[Editor's Note: the title of this post is to be read like this, not like you're in a church service.  That is all.]

College football started last weekend, the NFL officially kicked off last night, the NHL returns in a month, and it is still bikini season in Southern California.  Life.  Is.  Good.

Another little-known highlight of this time of year is watching the Chief's great debate over fantasy football.  I am not talking about him agonizing over which player to draft when (to be honest, I've always been impressed with his "just tell me who's been injured and I'll go from there" attitude when drafting).  No, the Chief's great debate is always over how many leagues he should join.  It is comical.  Every year around early-August, the first invite comes in and, invariably, the Chief announces "I'm cutting back this year; it's time."  So, it is time for us to ask the question: Chief, how did that "cutting back" go this year?

Survey says . . . [click].

On Wednesday, the Chief entered the GameTime, TBD© offices with quite the serious look on his face.  Asked what the problem was, the Chief merely shook his head in disgust and responded "I just agreed to join a sixth fantasy football league."  You read that right, his SIXTH (6th) fantasy football league.  So much for cutting back.  To be fair, up until Tuesday, the Chief had done a mighty fine job of limiting himself to the four leagues he considers most important: (1) the sixteenth season with his high school friends; (b) the big money "actual work" league that he has dominated for four years; (iii) a keeper league with GameTime, TBD© regulars Moneybags, Ballgame, and the rest of the extended-college crew; and (4) a league full of jackasses (true story).  Little did the chief know that, on Wednesday morning, Grantland was going to introduce the world to a new type of fantasy football:  The Bad Quarterback League.  I kid you not when I say that, within minutes of that article being posted, the Chief's email and gchat exploded with invitations to join a Bad Quarterback League ("BQL").  How could he possibly resist a new type of league?  I will not lie, the fact he was able to limit himself to only two BQLs is a bit of a miracle in-and-of-itself.  But, nevertheless, here we are, one day into the 2011 NFL season and the Chief is juggling six different teams.  Come December, the Chief is either going to be rolling in the dough, or having that awkward conversation with My Better Half about why her Christmas gift is going to be a little smaller than normal.

My oh my, it is going to be a stressful season for the Chief.  But if there is one thing you know to be true, the Chief will never root for a player when facing his beloved Detroit Lions, no matter what is on the line.  So, while help the Chief sort through his various rosters and make those final starting line-up decisions, here are some things you might have missed to help get you through your Friday afternoon:

• This one goes out to all of you who are (1) fans of the Lions, and (b) fans of an attractive woman wearing practically nothing.  [Editor's Note: is underboob considered NSFW?]
• If you have not heard (what, do you live in a cave?), the Chief's man crush is missing a game for the first time in his career . . . and that is a tough break for Rick Reilly.
• Arian Foster might not care what you think about his fantasy stats, but the NFL certainly does.
• Do not know which teams to bet on this weekend?  When all else fails, look to the WAGs.
• Just when I thought you could not possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this . . . and totally one up yourself.  Thank you, Canada.
• Women set record for world's longest hockey game.  Ten days long? Man, that is a lot of periods.
• Ah yes, the old "Do you know who I am?" defense.  Never seems to work out like you expect it to.
• "Should Notre Dame's Coach Be Fired for Cursing?"  Yes, you read that correctly.
•  Your sports-related "Good Samaritan of the Week" award goes to these two college football players.
• Which, naturally, leads us to our sports-related "Not-So-Good Samaritan of the Week" award . . . look at that face, is anyone really surprised?
• Speaking of faces, look at this face.  It screams cheater, does it not?
• Single and ready to mingle in England?  Here is hoping that the two percent of your population that looks good in lingerie are also Newcastle United fans.

As if I did not feel bad enough for England already.  First they had to deal with the heartbreak of the Chief declining duel citizenship when he turned eighteen.  And now comes word that only two percent . . . TWO PERCENT . . . of their population looks good in lingerie?  Ouch.  Well, at least we have a collection of videos for you that look in anything and everything.  I guess things are looking up for our English readers:

• The Onion Sports Network prepares you for the first week of NFL action as only the Onion Sports Network can . . . with rape jokes.  Yikes.
• To help the Chief make it through the first week of football without Peyton Manning since 1998, here are three of his favorite Manning commercials:  (1) laser-rocket arm, natch; (b) oh, CUT cut; and (iii) taking a hike.
• New Era is almost making me want to buy hats again, thanks to its Rivalry campaign, which has now brought us John Krapulewski and proof that 9-1-1 for rich people actually exists.
• You would think getting to bang Brooklyn Decker whenever you want would give you a cheery disposition, no?
• Soccer fail?  Soccer fail.
• Who knew BMX biking was so exciting?  Apparently these guys.

Before we bid you all adieu, we wanted to take a moment to remember all those lost ten years ago this Sunday on September 11th, 2001. The Chief was unable to come up with any words he deemed worthy enough to honor those who died on that, so he decided to add one extra video to this week's Link Dump.  It is the opening moments of David Letterman's first show after the events that have changed our country forever.  We remember those who lost their lives and give thanks for those who managed to survive.

Please, have a great weekend everyone!

Time to Tune In

Over the next three weeks, three of the "Big Four" sports leagues will play their annual All Star Game.  Yes, I know what your are thinking right now:  "Big Four?  I only count three."  Well, shame on you.  I still consider the NHL to be part of the Big Four of sports and so should you.  Sure, whenever I say I am going to a Kings game I am bound to hear jokes like "Why would you want to go to Sacramento?" or "Wait, it's hockey season?".  [Editor's Note: man, if I wanted to hear jokes that bad, I'd just hang around the GameTime, TBD© offices all day . . . oh, wait . . .]  Yes, hockey's popularity took a brutal hit as a result of the 2004-2005 Lockout and their inability to develop stars to build the league around until Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin arrived.  [Editor's Note:  which reminds me, the folks here at GameTime, TBD© would like to say happy belated-birthday to The Great One, who turned 50 this week.]  But now it is time for you all to start tuning back in.

And there is no better time to start than tonight, when the NHL kicks off its All Star weekend.  Why, you ask?  Well for starters, the league and players decided to go old school and will let the team captains pick their own squads.  We all remember what it was like back in elementary school when teams were picked of that game of basketball or soccer.  And now, tonight, we get to watch grown men twitch, fidget, and pray that they will not be the last one picked.  And then, come Sunday, you can watch what is, hands down, the best All Star Game amongst the Big Four.  NHL players actually look forward to the All Star Game; they actually appreciate the opportunity to give back to the fans.  They are not looking for excuses to get out of it, the league has not had to make the game worth home-ice advantage come Stanley Cup finals time to make it more competitive, and it is not a defenseless score-a-thon.  Sure, there will not be any fights or thunderous checks, and scoring will be a little higher than a normal game, but I would expect that from teams consisting of players like Ovechkin, Steven Stamkos, the Ginger Sedin twins, Patrick Kane, Rick Nash, and, of course, my boy Anze Kopitar.  [Editor's Note:  for the record, the Kings deserved to have at least 3 All Stars this year, but thanks to that December/January slump (don't get me started), they were left with one.]

You know you need your weekend quota of sports, and I know you have no intention of watching the Pro Bowl.  So do yourself a favor and tune in to the NHL All Star Game festivities this weekend.  Who knows, you might finally see what you have been missing all along.  But since the fun does not start until 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time tonight, we know you are in need of something to help you get through the rest of the work day.  Ask and ye shall receive:

• If the Packers win the Super Bowl, the Detroit Lions will be able to say they beat the eventual champion.  I think that, in and of itself, is deserving of this picture.
• Speaking of the Lions, a woman has accused a Detroit Lions player of trying to be the first to score in the postseason in over a decade.
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, all those strippers that were hit hard by the recession might want to make their way to Dallas.
• As friend of the program Ballgame put it: "It doesn't win you trophies, but it wins me Fantasy Football leagues."
• Because two football teams in Los Angeles worked so well the last time, right?
• And you thought American football was overly strict with its dress code/touchdown celebrations . . .
• Are you confused by the offside rule in Soccer?  Here is a helpful analogy that will clear things right up get you fired.
• Talk about excessive foreplay . . .
• Kevin Love wants to be an all star so badly, he started a website to help his chances. [Editor's Note: make sure you watch the "The Numbers" video.]
• I am not going to lie, when I read the words "scandalous photos" and "girls' locker room", my mind may have gone a different direction.
• What?  People gave up fancy gym memberships for more cost-friendly gym memberships during the greatest recession since the Great Depression?  Get right out of town.
• As an avid blogger and message board nerd, I can definitely relate to some of this story.
• In non-sports related news, I think they would have been better served going with the volleyball scene.

In reviewing the introduction, the Chief raised an excellent point: "You know, the readers might not know what channel Versus is on their cable/satellite provider."  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of the NHL's television deals.  And while we tried to find a comprehensive listing of the Versus channels, the best we could come up with is TV Guide's listing application.  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of Versus's website and marketing.  And now that you are all prepared for this weekend's festivities, here are some videos to help kill those last few hours of your work week:

• "I RIDE THE RIDE!  I RIDE THE RIDE!"  Que the viral video.  [Editor's Note:  need YouTube account.  Normally we'd share ours but it is linked to email and this blog, so that's a no-go.]
• So much fail in so little time.
• As impressive as this is, I am pretty sure the tornado-like winds blowing into his face might have played a role.
• Nothing like adding a little insult to injury.
• I think the real highlight of this video is not the stiff jab, but rather the one mother's shock over the ejection.  Ah, youth basketball.
• Must be nice to have teammates like that, right?
• Even in mini golf, the rules require that you play it as it flies.
• Wheel of Fortune is really starting to spice things up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Well, Hello 2011!

Welcome back everyone!  Happy New Year!  We sincerely hope you all had a happy, healthy, safe and fun 2010 holiday season.  It was a banner year at the GameTime, TBD© household, with the whole family in town for some good, old-fashioned (read: drunk) fun.

And just when we thought we had finally worked off the hangover (apparently you don't recover as fast in your 30s as you do in your 20s . . . getting old sucks . . . but I digress), the Los Angeles Kings go out there and string together five straight losses.  Nothing gets the Chief in a salty mood faster than a prolonged slump by the Kings.  Mix that together with the Chief's re-focused attitude as to weight-loss and training and, well, things have been getting a little tense around the office.  In fact, unless you are an incredibly attractive blond (read: my Better Half), you might want to avoid him until the Kings win one.  On the plus side, we are four weeks away from the Chief's next go at a half marathon, and all signs point to him peeking at just the right time.  But we do not want to share too much right now as you will get all the juicy details in our first fully-original content post of the new year, our annual New Year's Resolution post, which should be up sometime early next week.

Aside from the Kings' winless start to 2011, things have been pretty crazy around the office here to start the year.  Between technical difficulties and actual work blowing up, it has not exactly been the calm start to the new year we had become accustom to around these parts.  Yes, of course this is all code for "short introduction to our first Link Dump of the year", but rest assured we are still bringing you the goods on this, the first of fifty-two Fridays of the 2011 calendar year.  So, we are just going to stop talking (typing?) now and get to the real reason you are here:

• There is nothing like getting the year started with some perfectly-timed sports photos.
• Speaking of photos, this photo pretty much captions itself . . .
• Yes, we live in Los Angeles.  But we still appreciate great sportswriters from other cities; writers like Steve Buckley of the Boston Herald.  That is why we recommend you take a look at his most recent piece.
• Thank you Captain Obvious.
• "The habitually upbeat Carroll became agitated, however, when reporters began to question whether he had a complete understanding of how the playoff system worked, and whether, by extension, he misunderstood the entire structure of the NFL."
• Rounding is a [censored].
• He might be out of football, but Freddie Mitchell still loves him some Freddie Mitchell.  
• Every now and then we try to do something for our female readers, like by introducing them to a real winner.
• Nantz goes up for the rebound and puts it back in.
• Those Russians sure know how to celebrate a victory . . . with vodka, lots and lots of vodka.
• This (attractive) female reporter has been banned from talking smack about CR7 . . . or, at least I think that is what we were supposed to take away from this overly-dramatic female-written soccer blog.  [Editor's Note: chicks . . . (sigh).]
• The Hooters' Golf Tour (yup, a real thing) would kindly like to remind you to not pull a Johnson.
• Not going to lie, we are a little disappointed none of you gave us the heads-up.  I mean, come on, we could have taken these two jagbags.
• We could not decide whether to count this as an article or video, so we decided to put it here as the last link in the article section before moving on to videos (sneaky, right?).  So, if you have some time to spare, here are the "50 Biggest NFL Playoff Fails" . . . video style.

 If you actually clicked on that last link, went through each of the fifty fails, and watched all the videos, we are guessing you are reading this sentence on Saturday.  That is the kind of dedication we like to see around these parts.  If you did not click on that link, or did click on the link and realized it was a little overwhelming (like we did), bookmark it and watch them over the next few days when you have some down time.  I mean, there really is nothing like fifty fails to make you feel better about yourself.  Oh, and speaking of fails:

• It is the best fails of 2010.  You.  Are.  Welcome.
• I know the year is only [counting on fingers] seven days old, but is it possible that we already have our soccer fail of the year?
• And our marathon running fail of the year?
• And since we are on this negative kick (I told you the Chief was headed for a dark place), here are one hundred great movie insults to make you feel better about yourself.
• And here is the coolest fail you will ever see, compliments of the NHL.  [Editor's Note: wow, turrrrrrible pun totally intended.]
• Let us take a turn towards Positivetown with some "sick" whiffleball pitches.
• And some "extreme" shepherding.
• And, of course, there is nothing like a "This Week In Unnecessary Censorship" to bring us down the home stretch.

Once again, Happy New Year!  Have a great weekend everyone!

Quick and Dirty

That's what she said! [Editor's Note: HEY-OH!]

While our Friday is shaping up to be one of those Fridays you do not look forward to (read: busy), we figured we still had enough time to slip in a Link Dump so long as we kept the introduction short, sweet, and to the point.

The GameTime, TBD© family would like to take a moment to send our thoughts and prayers to the family of legendary manager George "Sparky" Anderson, who passed away yesterday.  The Chief had the privilege and honor of meeting Sparky Anderson a few years ago.  By a few years ago, I mean way back in first grade.  [Editor's Note: Yes, I am having trouble coping with the fact I turn 30 this year, so I am pretending first grade was only "a few years ago".]  To many of the first graders in his class, meeting Sparky Anderson was not that big of deal.  After all, most of the six and seven-year-old kids had never heard of the guy.  But the Chief's family had just moved to Southern California from Rochester Hills, Michigan, and he was more than familiar with Anderson's success with the Detroit Tigers and their 1984 World Series victory.  When asked what he recalled about meeting Sparky, the Chief simply shrugged.  After all, it was twenty-three years ago and he was seven.  He does remember being the most excited student in class that day, shaking his hand, and catching Sparky off guard with his knowledge of the Tigers.  But mostly the Chief is just honored to be able to say he once met one of the greatest managers in Major League Baseball history.

It is always awkward when you try to transition from discussing someone's death to a bunch of funny links of random sports stories.  You know what makes it even more awkward? Pointing out that it is awkward.  And with that, I am just going to shut up and get to the stuff you came for:

• We get started with a video/explanation combo deal, compliments of Canada.  Are we really that surprised?
• The NFL Network completed its list of the Top 100 players of all time.  The line for debaters forms to your right.
• Should I be sad that it is news when the Lions sellout a game?
• The Onion may have inadvertently written an accurate news story.  Good news though: it is still funny.
• Your source is one hundred-thousand-million-trillion percent accurate?  Oh, well count me as a believer then.
• This does not bode well for Cam Newton, his Heisman chances, or the rest of Auburn's season.
• Call me nuts, but I think you have the balls to make it here.
• What is the problem with WTF?
• If you are the owners of the Dodgers, and your bitter divorce is sucking up all the organization's money, what are you to do?  Why, sue a random hamburger joint in New York of course.
• Come on.  Is betting on the Mets to lose really considered gambling?

We are not going to lie.  Not a lot of exciting news stories came out of the sports world this week.  Yes, the Vikings waiving Randy Moss caught most everyone completely by surprise.  But you know that it not the type of main-stream story we look to post on GameTime, TBD©.  Nor are we about to link you all to the thousands of "Brett Favre Dong Sexter" Halloween costume pictures we have seen over the past week.  That being said, this past week produced solid crop of videos we thought you would appreciate.  So here you go:

• DJ Steve Porter (remember him?) returns with his newest mix: Randy Moss One Clap.
• You stay classy, San Diego.
• Yup, it is a tribute song to Zenyatta . . . who is a horse, a horse, of course, of course.  [Editor's Note: aw, how cute.]
• Speaking of tribute songs, this video is described as "a tribute song to terrible players on championship teams."  Can not go wrong with Scrubs with Rings.
• Hard to deny, that is a catchy jingle.
• Since my family is from upstate New York, I know all about Buffalo winters.  Luckily, Florida-native C.J. Spiller is getting the training he needs.
• This may be the first and only time the Los Angeles Clippers will make the Link Dump, compliments of Ralph Lawler.  Luckily, you do not have to watch past the eleven-second mark.
• Wow, Manny Pacquiao has some pipes.
• And, of course, it is not the end of the week until Jimmy Kimmel has mocked the FCC.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Public Service Announcement

Before we get to the good stuff, I just wanted to take a moment and point out the Chief got his annual Kings' Season Preview up earlier this week.  He puts an interesting spin on a classic movie moment and has some quality analysis of his boys in purple and black.  Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we generally try to avoid talking about the most obvious news stories of the week because, let us be honest, after five full news cycles, mentioning it in our Link Dump would just be beating a dead horse.  But every now and then, a story comes a long that takes a life of its own, and we can not ignore.  As we were putting the final touches on last week's Link Dump, our (second) favorite sports blog, Deadspin, was busying posting a video of Brett Favre's non-infamous voicemails and dirty texts (or "sexts" as the young folks call 'em) to Jenn Sterger, who is about as much of a report as Ines Sainz (after all, her claim to fame was dressing like this at Florida State football games).  Like any hot topic, everyone is coming out the woodwork to comment on the "barrel of worms" Deadspin opened last week.  Some we agree with, some we do not, and some are just plain funny.  But to us, the Favre dong scandal (which happens to make the nut shot Favre took in practice this week even more funny) is just another example of an alarming trend that must be stopped.

That is why we here at GameTime, TBD© have decided to start the "A.S.S." movement.  Do not adjust your screen, you read that correctly, the "A.S.S." movement, or "Athlete's Shouldn't Sext" (we're also in favor of starting another type of ass movement, but that's a topic for another time).  The fact of the matter is, Favre is just another in a long string of dong incidents involving athletes.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I have ever sent or received a suggestive text message.  But were I to have sent or received said messages, the likelihood that these messages would have been sent or received by my Better Half is very, very high (read: someone I love dearly and have been in a long-term committed relationship with).  Athletes, on the other hand, tend to sext any number of individuals ranging from current girlfriends to road beef (read: girls who are likely to want to publish them when said athlete stops calling).  There have been enough scandals in recent memory to safely say that athletes believe they are entitled to live a lifestyle different than the rest of us are expected to live and, sadly, many wives of athletes are more than willing to turn the other cheek to keep the lavish lifestyle being married to an athlete affords them.  And while it saddens me that women are willing to make such a compromise (though, it appears Deanna Favre might not be one of them), it saddens me more that every time I check out Deadspin, I run the risk the of seeing man junk.  And while I have safely navigated my way around the Favre pictures, it will probably cost me thousands of dollars in therapy sessions to erase the likes of Grady Sizemore and Leg Greg Odom from my memory.  Seriously, if I wanted to see that, I would go watch some porn (though, that might not be an option soon).

So, we here at GameTime, TBD© kindly request that you take up our cause and join the "A.S.S." movement.  Together, we can stop the image of man junk from being seared into our eyes every time an athlete crosses a fame whore.  So, while we go put together some sort of sign-up sheet for you all to sign, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• The NFL apologizes to London for choosing two crappy teams for this year's International Series game by hiring Marisa Miller as spokesperson.  Congrats, London.  [Editor's Note: While it is true that we often reference suggestive pictures of attractive models and celebrities on this site, we are keenly aware that many young women struggle with body image issues as a result of society and the media's current definition of "beauty".  That is why we fully support this effort, and vow to refrain from making such references all next week.]
• Things go from bad to downright embarrassing for Tom Brady's hair.
• Well, this certainly is a first for the Lions.
• "And countless others will be home watching NBC with their porch lights off so they won't be bothered while the game is on."  If only someone would invent some sort of device that would . . . oh, I don't know . . . allow people to pause live television or something.  That just might save Halloween for the children of New Orleans.  [Editor's Note: Also, "The Treat Dats"? Really?]
• It turns out the Baltimore Ravens organization is not a fan of chicks being awesome.
• Remember that Delaware gambler from last week?  Apparently he missed the Sports Betting 101 class where they discussed how to properly hedge your bet.
• The second biggest story of the week (behind you-know-what) was the former-agent tell all in this week's Sports Illustrated. If you are not a subscriber to the magazine, here is the story.
•  If you are eating or have eaten recently, you might want to skip this story.
• Two things about Ole Miss's new mascot:  (1) ironically, the only bear native to Mississippi is the Louisiana Black Bear; and (ii) I suppose Rebel Black Bear fought for slavery and states' rights.  It is somewhat uninspiring to take your inspiration from the losing side in a war, is it not?
• You stay classy Internet commentors.
• What? LeBron James merchandise is not selling well in Cleveland? SHOCKING!
• Dear A.J. Burnett, The word "simulated" in "Simulated Game" is not meant to be taken literally.  Xoxo, Your Teammates.
• Sara Saco-Vertiz, who first stole your heart in the classic love story "I Got Hit By A Foul Ball in Houston When My Then-Boyfriend Dove for Cover", is back in the news.
• Roy Oswalt; good pitcher, better interview bomber.
• A table tennis story that does not suck.  Go figure.

Wow, I did not realize how much good stuff went down [Editor's Note: that's what she said!] this week because of all the coverage Brett Favre's dong was getting.  That is why we really hope our "A.S.S." movement gains some momentum sooner rather than later.  Speaking of movement, here are some moving picture, commonly referred to as "video", clips we thought might make your Friday a little better:

• Ever wonder what it would be like to parachute in with the game ball in front of huge crowd?  Turns out it would be pretty freakin' awesome.
• Some scientists did a study on my life and The Onion is here with the results.
• Your "Fail of the Week" is brought to you by [*spins wheel* . . . . click click click click . . . click click click . . . click click . . . click]: Guy Mounting Elephant!
• I flunked out of sign language class. Can someone please translate for me?
• We have long been a fan of Steve Nash's ability to make great videos.  His recent commercials for FIFA Soccer 11 with Landycakes are no exception.  So here are parts one and two.
• This one goes out to all my readers who are also San Francisco Giants fans . . . all two of you.
• I always knew Dora was a slut.

Have a great weekend everyone!

What a Week

I do not know about you all, but it is hard to believe it is Friday already. This week seemed to fly by. Between "actual" work and the many hot-button news stories circulating through the sports world, the GameTime, TBD© office was in a constant state of chaos for the better part of the week.

Between Reggie returning the Heisman, the Jets harassing a "reporter", the TEA Party high-jacking the Republican Party, and the Lions getting screwed out of win last Sunday, the stories have been coming faster than the star quarterback on prom night. [Editor's Note: Yeah, that just happened.] These stories have garnered so much attention this week, we are going to try something new with this Link Dump: not take an official position on any of them. Well, that is kind of a lie; "technically" we took a position on Bush giving back his Heisman last week. We are choosing to pass on the other three major stories for a variety of reasons, namely: (1) a position on "InesGate" is not likely to end well for the Chief when he gets home to his Better Half tonight; (B) a position on the TEA Party might end the Chief's political aspirations before they have even really begun; and (iii) we do not think today is the day we should test the word limit of Blogger by letting the Chief get going on Calvin Johnson's game-winning (non-)touchdown. So, instead, we are just going to get right to the links and let others chime in:

• I never thought I would see the day: Bill Simmons has the most reasonable take of the week on "InesGate".
• You know whose opinion I would really like to get on "InesGate"? Jenn Sterger. Yes, the woman who dressed like this as a "reporter" for the Jets and . . . oh good, she decided to open her mouth.
• Regardless of whether Megatron's catch was or was not a touchdown, I firmly believe Jim Schwartz is the coach that will return the Lions to greatness. [Editor's Note: Wait, the Lions were once great?]
• These girls or so desperate to become Lions' cheerleaders, they are willing to accept not being Lions cheerleaders.
  
• Matt Forte: last season's fantasy bust, this season's fiance bust.
• You know, when I think of Jon Gruden, I usually compare him to Forrest Gump as well. Wait, what?
• It is only week three of the college football season and we already have our "Say It Isn't So" injury of the year.
• A Denard Robinson tribute song? Some might think it is a little early in the season for that. I say "Did you see the Notre Dame/Michigan game?"
• Here is a fun slideshow on baseball's oddest injuries.
  
• If this reporter is right, the McCourt divorce is going to do more damage to the Dodgers than we previously thought.
  
• Why am I not surprised that this guy is a Walmart patron?
• Looks like John Calipari is still up to his old tricks.
• Your bizarre but true story of the week is brought to you by: [*spins wheel*] Togo.

I am not going to sugar coat it; as great as this week was for large news stories, it was equally as bad for new entertaining videos. But rest assured, our dear readers, that we have saved a few in the vault for just such an occasion:

• By now, must of you are probably familiar with this entertaining news interview. However, you probably are not as familiar with the song it inspired.
• A word of caution to all you singers out there: do not lock your knees.
• Not positive, but I think that is a touch back.
• "This is a BET spin-off, Elementary School Musical."
  
• It has been a couple of weeks, but Jimmy Kimmel was finally back with a new "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship". [Editor's Note: Really Delaware Republicans? Christine O'Donnell?]
• "Imma fry this chicken in my han'."

Have a great weekend everyone!

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Race

[Face shows mock surprise] Oh, hello there. We did not expect to see you so soon. You might have picked up some small hints that things were getting pretty crazy in the real world and that, as a result, our little corner of the World Wide Web was suffering. Okay, so maybe it was not a hint so much as an outright declaration, but you know how we like to keep you all in the loop. But, thankfully, things quieted down a lot faster than we anticipated and we are back with a fresh and fantastic Link Dump to help get you to that weekend.

As you know, a little over ten weeks ago, the Chief embarked on quest to get himself ready for, and run in, the San Francisco Half Marathon. He set what he thought was a conservative time goal of two hours (a pace of just under 9:10 per mile), but, as he spoke to some more experienced runners, he began to think that goal might be a little to aggressive. After all, this was a man who was twelve years and fifty pounds removed from high school cross country. So, he kept pounding the pavement, going mile after mile, while doubt slowly crept into his head.

So the Chief and My Better Half [Editor's note: wait, what?] traveled to San Francisco; July 25th finally arrived; the race was run. And it is with great pleasure that we report to you, our avid readers and great supporters of the Chief, that he traversed the 13.1 miles in 1:59:33 (9:08 per mile), beating his goal with a full twenty-seven seconds to spare. And then a funny thing happened, except, it is not funny if you know the Chief. In fact, it was downright predictable.

Mixing the Chief with athletic competition never ends well for the athletic competition . . . I mean, the saying "It's a competition, and [the Chief's] in it" didn't just materialize out of nothingness. By the time My Better Half had finished providing her celebratory compliments and kisses [Editor's note: should I be worried?], the following thought had already run through the Chief's head: "If I can run sub-2:00, why can't I run sub-1:55? And if I can run sub-1:55, why can't I run sub-1:45?" And once those thoughts went through his head . . . well . . . it was only a matter of time. By the following Tuesday the Chief had mapped out every workout between July 27, 2010 and February 6, 2011, when he will run not his second, but third half marathon in a little over six months with a sprint-distance triathlon thrown in just for kicks. So mark you calendars for November 14, 2010 (Big Sur Half Marathon in Monterey, CA) and February 6, 2011 (Surf City Half Marathon in Huntington Beach, CA), and get ready for some classic Chief competition stories, because this train is moving down the tracks and there is no stopping it now.

Between you and me, I think the Chief has got a few wires loose upstairs. I mean, do not get us wrong, he is still as smart, witty, and charming as ever, but who wants to train for and run three half marathons in six months? So, while we sit here and carefully watch the Chief for signs of . . . well . . . we do not know what exactly, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was:

• There is a reason we keep things as anonymous as possible around here, and, let us be honest, we are not even that important.
• Come for the skydiving scrabble, stay for the everything else.
  
• I am going to go out on a limb and say John P. Lopez was never in a fraternity.
  
• "Suh won in a blowout reminiscent of a typical Lions’ Sunday." Yup, that about sums up the Detroit Lions organization.
  
• You stay classy, Michael Irvin.
• This story contains the following phrases: "neighborhood pool", "9-year-old kids", and "gainers off the board". Yet, it is totally not what you think.
  
• Fear the Penguins.
• You did not think crappy baseball was the only reason people were not showing up to Rays baseball games, did you?
• It is nice to see that economists have found a good use for their time during this global economic downturn. You know, like analyzing Jose Cancesco's impact on his teammates.
• I am willing to bet having 14.3-times more than the normal ratio of testosterone in your system might make you a little over-aggressive as well.
  
• Deep inside the walls of Bristol, ESPN is probably planning its next great one-hour prime time special. [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch the videos.]
• Green Power Ranger successful in MMA debut, guilty of profiting off of lamest catch phrase ever. Rita Repulsa unavailable for poorly-dubbed comment.

Since we deprived you of your weekly source of entertainment for the past two weeks, we decided to make it up to you with a collection of videos that is 14.3-times the normal ratio of awesomeness:

• "Hey Janice? Great talk." The best fifty-seven seconds of Vince Vaughn's career. [Editor's Note: that's what she said . . . HEY-OH]
  
• Asian carp also make very skilled outfielders.
• Reason number 2,743,691 we are thankful for the World Wide Web.
• Judging by the sculptor's reaction, the reporter should be glad he is walking away fully intact.
• Another "This Week In Unnecessary Censorship"? Yes please.
• And the hits just keep on coming.
• This video is UH-MAZING on so many levels; I wish I was of UGA's Class of 2014.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Gone Quiet

Sorry for the recent lack of activity around these parts, life keeps getting in the way. If any of you know of a good way for us to make a lot of money doing this so that we can quit work, please do no hesitate to contact us at the email address listed in the upper right-hand corner.

That being said, we do not want to leave you completely empty handed. For starters, we thought we would switch things up and, instead of the usual Marisa Miller picture, go with one from a Hollywood up-and-comer. She can currently be seen [Editor's Note: GameTime, TBD© guilty pleasure spoiler alert] on one of our favorite shows, Gossip Girl, and last week gave thousands of comic book nerds, young and old, their first man moment. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is Blake Lively at Comic Con last weekend.



Also, we have a couple videos for you. The first is embedded into this post because (1) it is fun to see Jeopardy acknowledge the futility of the Detroit Lions, and (B) the woman's reaction is priceless.



The second video has been making the rounds this week and chances are you have already seen it. Although it is animated and looks like it is meant for kids, the language becomes extremely not safe for work. That being said [Editor's Note: twice in one post? really?], it is a 100% accurate depiction of how consumers respond to new Apple products. Enjoy.

We hope to be back up to full capacity next week. In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!

Run, Chief Run

It is one of those days. When we arrived in the office, we had a decision to make: was today's Link Dump going to be (1) heavy on intro, short on links; or (b) short on intro, heavy on links? We decided on the latter. Do not get me wrong, I have no shortage of love for my own writing; I love me some me. But GameTime, TBD©, is not about me. This site is for you, my avid readers, which is why we always encourage you to contact us with anything and everything you would like see done around here.

We have to be short on the intro because, as can happen from time-to-time, actual work in getting the way. While we would have loved to dive into the LeBron love fest that went down last night on the Evil Empire, time is not on our side today. But we do have time to squeeze in a few quick comments. First, I love that ESPN got out-scoped on LeBron's choice by both Stephen A. Smith (on June 28th), and former-hockey writer/current-Knicks writer Marc Berman of the New York Post (early morning of July 8th). Say what you will about Screamin' A., but that man did not hedge against his sources and was willing to go down with the ship. Second, LeBron, if "loyalty" and "unfinished business" were two of the main factors you considered in making this decision, you should have clarified that you were being loyal to yourself, and that you personally had unfinished business, otherwise you would still be a Cleveland Cavalier. As this whole process has shown, LeBron is a lot more self-centered than we all once thought. But he made that perfectly clear when he talked about not having to share the spotlight with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, but rather each player having their own spotlight. And here I always thought basketball was a team game.

One last note, if you happen to be in the Chief's presence anytime soon, I strongly recommend not mentioning the words "Ilya Kolvachuk". Kolvachuk and Kings' GM Dean Lombardi are still dancing the free agency dance. The Kings have been in and out of the negotiations more times than the guy that took the head cheerleader to prom (HEY-OH!). I think the Chief has aged about five years in the past week. But if you have about three hours to spare, want to see some post-4th of July fireworks, and are in the presence of the Chief, go ahead and mention it. We double dog dare you.

Well, that was a little more of an intro than we anticipated. But like I said, I love me some me. I am the LeBron James of GameTime, TBD©. So while I go plan my own hour-long television special, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• FHM readers voted Marisa Miller the "Sexiest Woman in the World". No. Argument. Here.
• Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler finally got what they have long deserved.
• This headline says it all about the Matt Millen era. From this, Deadspin decided to put together a fun little game.
• Now that LeBron has officially screwed over Cleveland, I think it is time the real story come out. Who is with me?
• If you have not read Dan Gilbert's open letter to Cleveland Cavaliers fans, here is your chance.
• Death threats against Paul the Octopus? Man, the World Cup just got real.
• How seriously do the Dutch take soccer? Apparently their loss in the 1974 final "has often been compared to the assassination of JFK on America".
• This sounds like a scene out of Road House . . . only, Patrick Swayze would have come out ahead in his 1-on-10 Tennessee football players brawl.
• Dick Vitale has taken up residence in Cameron Indoor Arena until at least 2022. Congrats to you, Duke.
• Rick Reilly's bromance with Lance Armstrong continues.
• "Even sniffing glue calls Purple Drank stupid."
• Is it too early to call this the "Headline of the Century"?

Okay, since I took too long with the intro, we are skipping any witty banter (Ilya Kolvachuk), and moving right into (Ilya Kolvachuk) a set of clips sure to make your Friday afternoon (Ilya Kolvachuk . . . man, if you could only see the Chief's face right now) that much more enjoyable.

• I guarantee one of these girls could have sealed the deal with Ilya Kolvachuk by now . . . or was the head cheerleader on prom night (HEY-OH!).
• With Jimmy Kimmel in re-runs this week, I decided to go with one of my all-time favorite "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" clips: the Sesame Street edition.
• This video has been declared "the best own goal" in soccer history. I can not say I disagree.
• Yes, this video may make you feel uncomfortable. Yes, it is totally worth it.
• Jason Werth, expanding the vocabularies of young kids everywhere since July 2010.
• I call fake. You be the judge.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh the Madness!!!

[Editor's Note: we've been having some technical difficulties with the site over the past couple of days and few things are still not back to normal. If anything appears out of the ordinary or is not working properly, we apologize. Hopefully we'll be back up a running properly soon . . . and hopefully this Link Dump works properly.]

So, Selection Sunday is right around the corner and all the major sports media outlets have there Cinder-Bracket-Bouble-Ology-Watch-Ella stories running at full speed. As always, I am uber-excited for the tournament, especially after (knock on wood) the Bruins complete their magical run to the tournament this weekend (nothing says dominant conference like your conference tournament champion getting a 14 seed). As usual, I will be spending some of the opening weekend in Las Vegas with my friends going to some shows placing bets on random five-twelve match-ups.

But as excited as I am for Selection Sunday and the start of the Tournament, there is one thing about this time of year that gets me annoyed: all the other bracket-type features websites and blogs run this time of year. I can not tell you how many emails we get around this time of year or how many links pop up on our favorite sites directing us to some bracket trying to determine "The Greatest Sports Movie of All Time" (Caddieshack), or "The College with the Hottest Chicks" (decent), or "The Best Celebrity Couple", or, of course "The Hottest Woman" (ok, I can get behind that one . . . that's what she said . . . ba-ZING). Even How I Met Your Mother had an episode based on a bracket (but that one was totally awesome, no complaints here). I mean, look, if Sports Illustrated wants to decide the "Hottest Swimsuit Photo of All Time", you are not going to see me complaining (though, let's agree to disagree on the result . . . a fair choice, but I think a little swayed by Ms. Decker's current popularity . . . plus, the bracket lost all credibility once the editors decided to leave out this picture). But why does it have to be in bracket form and why does it have to in March? Is March "Bracket Appreciation March"? Did Congress declare March "National Bracket Month"? I mean, it is only a matter of time before someone starts up "The Best Non-NCAA Tournament Bracket" bracket (hmm . . . I could be onto something, maybe I should copyright that or something . . . anyone know a good attorney?). And then, it is only a matter of time until the whole world comes to an end, which is kind of a bummer.

I do not normally say something like this, but it should let you know just how tired of this I am: please do not send me any links to brackets. I spend a decent amount of times on sports websites and blogs, so there is a good chance (read: I guarantee) I have seen it already. I know, I know, I am not one to chastise my readers, but a man can only take so much. I hope you understand where I am coming from on this one though, and can find it in your heart to stick around as a GameTime, TBD© fan. Maybe these will help:

• If you had the Hartford Courant in the "First Paper to Run Article About How NCAA Office Pool Will Turn You Into a Degenerate" pool, please collect your winnings to the right.
• I was under the impression Tiger did not have much of an image left to manage.
  
• Jim Schwartz goes all ex-boyfriend-stalker crazy to land himself a top free agent; no complaints here.
• Yes Dan, you are just an idiot.
• Lethargy rehab? Is nothing safe from rehab theses days?
• When you are used to playing in hockey hotbeds like Raleigh and Nashville, things in D.C. can be scary.
• The Canada Post puts out amber alert on hockey cards.
  
• So, about that time you had sex with your sister . . .
• I do not know what is sodder, the fact Florida State has a "Sod Cemetery" or that someone bothered to asterisk each of the vacated wins.
• The Pinstripe Bowl? Is that really something we need?
• This year's MLB pre-season "race remarks taken out of context" are brought to you by [*spins wheel*]: Torii Hunter.
• Looks like Nails has gotten himself caught in yet another [legal] pickle.
• It must be a contract year.
• Some quick math tells me that is 1,050 per prostitute for the entire event, or thirty-five per prostitute per day. Gross.

I know what you are thinking right about now: "It's the week before the NCAA tournament. Here comes the 'UCLA comeback versus Gonzaga' video clip". Do not be silly. That clip is worthy of its own post each and every year and you can rest assured that post will come next Wednesday. In the meantime, here are some crazy-entertaining non-NCAA Tournament clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Nothing says "It's baseball season" like a bench-clearing brawl with not one, but two felony assaults.
• While Jimmy Fallon might have fallen short on his Saved by the Bell reunion efforts, he certainly knocked this one out of the park.
• And then he topped off the week with this reunion.
• My Better Half and I are visiting my Bro and SIL at the end March and we plan on seeing a Boston Bruins hockey game. We better also see this.
• Real bears playing hockey. Enough said.+
• This was an inexcusable omission from last week's Link Dump. Rest assured, we have addressed the issue and "taken care of it".
• Look at that, Heidi Montag (at least I think that's Heidi Montag) did something almost funny.

Have a great weekend everyone!