How Does This Work Again?

[*dusts off keyboard*]

How does one go about apologizing to his thousands hundreds dozens handful of loyal readers after inexcusably disappearing for over a year?

Well, for starters, I think I would say that if you are actually here reading this, I truly appreciate you sticking around all this time.  Then, I would let you know about how painful this past year was, both in terms of not being able to bring you the Pulitzer-worthy writings you had grown to love and expect from my little corner of the world wide web, and the actual reason I became so suddenly unavailable.  Finally, I would tell you how sorry I am, hope you can forgive me, and promise I am a changed man and that things will be better than they were before my indiscretion (cause, you know, apparently this is now also Lifetime's next drama about a lover scorned . . . don't worry, I didn't spend the last year trying to make up for sins committed against My Better Half; a wise man knows when he has massively out-kicked his coverage and does everything in his power not to screw that up.)

Long story short, people left our firm, which resulted in a little game I like to call "Shuffle the Associates."  Now, I work by a motto my father taught me: "Work Hard; Have Fun; Make Money."  The theory is, if you work hard, and have a little fun while doing it, you are going to be successful (make money).  Well, when the game came to an end, I end up being assigned to partner of firm whose motto, if he had one, would be: "Work Hard, Work Harder, You're Not Working Hard Enough, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM WITH WORK?"  This might come as a surprise to you, but it turns out that is (1) not a fun environment to work in, (b) may cause some employees to resent you; and (iii) does not create a very productive work experience (shocking, right?).  While I never let it break me, it certainly did restrict my ability to enjoy the creative outlet that is GameTime, TBD©.  I kept fighting the good fight, grinding it out, and eventually I was able to find my way onto a team with a partner whose operating philosophy is more in line with mine.  In the words of William Wallace . . . FREEDOM!!!!!!!

Now, I can not guarantee it will be business as usual around these parts.  I have got to find my mojo again; and there will certainly be times when work gets in the way; but I love sharing my wisdom with you all too much to not make this happen.  So much has happened in the past year, I have plenty of ideas on how to make GameTime, TBD© better than ever, both in terms of user experience and content.  In just writing these first few paragraphs, I can already feel the excitement returning.  So stick around, it is bound to be a great show.

Well I finish getting things back up and running, reaching out to my contacts, and crafting my battle plan for continuing world domination, here are some things you might have missed from the past week to get you through your Friday afternoon.  That is right, my dear readers, it is Link Dump time:

• It is rivalry week here in Los Angeles, so naturally this and this happened.  GO BRUINS!
• Dear NCAA, Just a friendly reminder that your mission is to protect student athletes and their future.  Kthxbye.
• Somewhere Herm Edwards is reminding people "You PLAY. TO WIN. THE GAME."
• When do the owners cancel Gary Bettman's life?
• Surprising absolutely no one, this happened at a Cleveland Browns game.  Oh, Cleveland.
• Last time I checked a map, Cincinnati and Louisville were west of Philadelphia.  Did someone re-align the country again without telling me?   
• Hey bro, probably should have thought this one through a little more before going to print.
• Not very often you can say a team scored 104 points in a high school football game and did not run up the score.
• With Thanksgiving right around the corner, the end of the year is nearly upon.  And that means all those "Best of the Year" lists the Chief hates so much.  Like this one, that proves sports and innuendos go hand-in-hand.
• Speaking of Thanksgiving, that means it is time for Black Friday sales.  If you are headed to Williams Sonoma, here is some advice.
• In non-sports related news, do yourself a favor and check out the image.

I guess it is true what they say, some things in life truly are just like riding a bike.  You get back on and get going. [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]  It feels really good to be back in the driver's seat, so let us keep this party train moving forward.  First we tickled your brain, now we tickle your eyes . . . and may a few other places:

• When we last spoke, "model" Melanie Iglesias was flipbooking her way into your heart with some Halloween costumes.  As luck would have, she released a new flipbook today in an effort to untz-untz her way back into your heart.
• What, was Rebecca Black not available?
• I am sorry, what?
• Nice tats boss . . . oh, and that goal was pretty solid too.  [Editor's Note: speaking of tats, wow . . . just wow . . .]
• You see . . . I . . . uh . . . well . . .
• Exactly how does one break a rib and three vertebrae?  Oh, that does not look like fun.
• Current favorite word of the week: equinophobia.
• What do you get when cross the Galapagos Islands with the Miss Reef calendar girls?  One ass-tastic piece of art.

Man, it feels good to be back.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Rise and FIRE!

Can you smell that?  The sweet, sweet aroma of March Madness is in the air.

That is right, the productivity of American workers is slowly grinding to a halt as we are a mere twenty-three hours away from the tip-off of the NCAA Tournament.  Okay, so I guess the Tournament technically started last night, but let us be honest, no one is really counting these play-in "first" round games as part of the tournament.  Chances are you, like me, have joined one or two (or twenty) pools and did not even have to pick the first four games unless you expected one of the teams to advance past their next opponent.

More importantly, this means over the next two days we all get to pretend we are actually working while, in actuality, we are following the games from the (dis)comfort of our desk chairs.  I mean, if unrest in the Middle East and a potential nuclear meltdown in Japan can not stop Obama from filing out a bracket for ESPN, who are we expected to focus on normal work?  Some of you are doing the smart thing and just taking the two days off, or maybe just Friday.  Heck, even my Better Half said she was considering taking Friday as a sick day so she could stay home, watch the games, and BBM-trash talk me about how her bracket is better than mine.  I mean, if the Tournament is going to get her to ditch work, it has to make you consider just how important it is.

But that also made the Chief realize that that makes today practically Friday.  So he sent up the GameTime, TBD© signal and called for a special, Tournament edition of the Link Dump. When you think about it, it makes sense.  I mean, we are even closing up shop early on Friday to head to Vegas to catch some of the action.  Thankfully, part of the GameTime, TBD© family is headed out first thing tomorrow morning, so we will have legal action on all of the Thursday and Friday games.

Now, we were very tempted to dedicate this entire Link Dump to the greatness that is Gus Johnson, since Gus Johnson and the NCAA Tournament go hand-and-hand.  But as it turns out, there is actually some other Tournament-related news out there that we thought you might enjoy and some non-Gus Johnson related videos from the week that should help make your Hump Day [Editor's Note: Hey-OH] go by a little faster.  But rest assured, our dear readers, that there is plenty of Gus Johnson to go around:

• I will get this out the way: Gus Johnson is the voice of March.
• Jimmer Fredette is wildly popular in the New York prison system . . . wait, what?
• If you are finding it difficult to make bracket number thirty-seven seem different from bracket twenty-three, here are some strategies to help you out.
• A look at March Madness by the numbers.  Congratulations to you on being part of the 8.4 million.
• Speaking of "by the numbers", here is a bracket filed out using the median salary of graduates from each of the teams.
• There is nothing like a good drinking game to help ensure you are passed out by the late games.

Of course, around this time of year every website and their mother runs their own gimmicky NCAA-style bracket.  If you have not noticed, Esquire is picking the "Sexiest Woman Alive" (even though last October they declared Minka Kelly the sexiest woman alive . . . did I miss something? Is Minka dead? Was she severely disfigured in a horrific acid accident in the last 5 months?) and Spike is helping Captain Morgan find the "Ultimate Morganette" from a pool of only the "classiest" of ladies.  Attractive women NCAA-style brackets are a dime a dozen this time of year.  So we thought we would draw your attention to some other notable brackets:

• Black Lab, FTW!
• I am not positive, but I do not think this will really be much of a competition.

And then there are the videos.  Oh, the videos.  Let us face it, there is nothing quite like a Gus Johnson-called dramatic ending.  And while listening alone is fun, watching is even better.  But do not fear, we have not gone with a complete tribute to Gus Johnson because not even March Madness can stop funny things from happening:

• Like everything great in life, even the NCAA Tournament ends with a montage, every year, always to "One Shining Moment".  So here you go, fifteen years of "One Shining Moment".
• "Sorrentine . . . FROM THE PARKING LOT!"
• "Heart. Break. City."  Yes, it is the greatest 40.8 seconds in NCAA-tournament history (I might be biased), and it was called by G.J.
• Not convinced? Here is how it looked from UCLA's band section.  How has someone not mixed this with Johnson's call yet?
• While we are certain to have many memorable fan reactions during this year's Tournament, it may be tough to match this.
• The best anti-bullying PSA? Looks to me like a perfect visual representation of a one-versus-sixteen match-up.  [Editor's Note: all kidding aside, it's time parents start taking some initiative and talk to their kids about bullying.  For the record, that's the bullier getting the short end of the stick.]
• It is about this time of year that a guy figures out just how great his significant other is.  Hopefully you chose wisely.  [Editor's Note: like me!]
• Worried that the NCAA Tournament is going to take its toll on your Diet? Jimmy K is here to help!

We hope you enjoy the NCAA Tournament and we wish you the best luck in all of your pools or with all the action you decide to lay . . . and also your bets.  Ba-ZING!

Full On Double Awesome All The Way

[Editor's Note: if you don't get the title, you don't remember some of the best stuff this site has provided you. You should be ashamed of yourself. But, because I'm a nice guy, here it is again.]

There is nothing quite like the Friday before a holiday weekend. For all we know, our avid readers could have decided to skip town early. Why have a three-day weekend when you could make it four? Regardless, we do not do this just for our avid readers. We created GameTime, TBD© to make the world [wide web] a better place, one post at a time.

Not to brag, but I can not even begin to tell you how awesome this weekend is going to be . . . but do not think that will stop me from trying. So awesome is this weekend going to be, I think it deserves a name. Henceforth, Labor Day weekend 2010 shall be known as the "Weekend of Awesomeness". [Editor's Note: Wow, someone drank the creative juice this morning.] When bestowing on something a nickname as awesome as "Weekend of Awesomeness", some explanation is necessary. Allow me.

The first, and perhaps most obvious, reason this weekend is going to rock: the return of college football. For all intents and purposes, my Better Half has the next fourteen Saturdays all to herself. Thankfully, she will choose to spend some of those Saturdays with me, and not bankrupting our family on an entirely new wardrobe and hanging out with her best girlfriends, but for the most part I will be spending my Saturdays (1) glued to the couch, (b) at the Rose Bowl, or (iii) both (1) and (b) between now and the first week of December. Try as she might to convince me to do something else [Editor's Note: oh, she has her ways . . .], I need only point to section II, paragraph 4, sub-paragraph (G)(ii), clause 5 of our only slightly technical prenuptial agreement, which I am confident she read as thoroughly as our Congress reads legislation before voting on it, that states: "the Better Half hereby agrees that, beginning with the first week of college football season and lasting until the later of (1) UCLA's last game or (2) the National Championship game, the Chief shall be excused from performing any and all marital duties on each and every Saturday during the above defined period and any and all necessary travel days to accommodate UCLA's football schedule . . . ." It, of course, goes on to list the penalties for violation of this provision, but there is no need for bedroom talk here. [Editor's Note: If only Frank McCourt had asked me to draft his Marital Property Agreement . . . but I digress . . .] So if you need to reach me on a Saturday over the next four months, you should probably just try to get in touch with my Better Half instead.

The return of college football, while enough to make this a "Weekend of Awesomeness", is not the sole reason we are amped for this weekend. In fact, I will be taking my UCLA watching on the road to Chicago, to hang out with my Better Half and BFF. If you have been to Chicago, no further explanation is necessary. If you have not, well, sucks to be you. We are taking the red-eye out tonight and will be spending the weekend hanging with the BFF, her boyfriend, and her adorable baby girl. Throw in rubbing elbows with some professional athletes [Editor's Note: MLS players are considered professional athletes, right?], staying with Agman and his wife, and fulfilling one of my life-long dreams of finally getting two chicks in bed at the same time to see a baseball game at historic Wrigley Field, and you can see just why Labor Weekend 2010 is the official "Weekend of Awesomeness".

Regardless of how awesome my weekend is going to be (did I mention it's going to be awesome?), we still have to get through the rest of this Friday together. So while I go make sure I have all my travel documents ready, here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time:

• This is not the first time Rachel Uchitel has been black-balled in the past year. [Editor's Note: Hey-OH!]
• It is good to see that the Nitty Lion mascot is already in mid-season form.
• Instead of the normal cupcake opponent that many major schools schedule for the first week of the season, LSU gets UNC's second team.
• If you are attending the Colorado-Colorado State football this weekend, make sure you leave the sizzurp outside.
• This kid's dreams of earning a Division I football scholarship end on account of being an adult.
• I feel like a 2.5 karat diamond would stick out on a football field, no?
• No, no Terry, tell us how you really feel.
• Did not respond to the lawsuit? I would have thought its lawyers knew "truth" is a defense to a libel claim.
• Gary Bettman wants players to stop accepting those ridiculous deals being offered by his GMs and owners. Cause, you know, it is the players' fault.
• "Well I can think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo, live or stuffed; preferably stuffed for safety sake. And three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge [and throw in a 25-acre fire.]"
• Here is a story for all you golfers to remember the next time you "forget" about that ball you hit out of bounds.
• Kid Rock is still alive? AND singing?
• When people have too much time on their hands, *stuff* gets weird.

Still with us or totally jealous of how awesome our weekend is going to be? Look, it is only natural. We do not blame you. So, to help ease the pain, here are some videos to help you get throw those last minutes of your pre-holiday-weekend Friday:

• One good Billy Madison reference deserves another.
• We are suckers for any sort of trick-shot compilation. This week? Super Cool Bowling Awesome.
• A lot of people felt the need to get punchy this week [Editor's Note: we can neither confirm nor deny they heard about the "Weekend of Awesomeness" immediately prior to the events you are about to see]: (1) finally, an MLB fight that does not suck (Gaby Sanchez, for the win); (b) mullet-wearing fan of "the U" believes he can fly (Spoiler Alert: he can't); and (iii) New York tool versus the rest of the U.S. Open crowd (who you got?).
• Sean Penn goes between two ferns.
• Is Roger Federrer the new Peyton Manning of commercials? [Editor's Note: Don't you dare talk about my man crush like that; Roger Federrer will never match this, this, or this, just to name a few.]
• Epic. Football. Fail.

Have a great weekend everyone!

What Are You Doing Today?

It has arrived. Let the games begin. I hope you all got your fifteen brackets filled out and ready to go. For those of you stuck at work, we are here to help:



Gus Johnson not your cup of tea? You work for some Communists who might have blocked streaming video? Well, how about a gallery of Marisa Miller squeezing her rack into some bikinis? You. Are. Welcome.

Sorry my Better Half is not available for a running diary of all the days action. She is somewhere in the air between Los Angeles and Chicago on her way to visit BFF.

Enjoy the first day of games everyone; especially those men who got snipped this week just so they could stay at home for these two days. God bless your commitment.

Great Googly Moogly

We are running a little behind schedule this morning (borderline afternoon), but that is not going to stop us from getting some entertainment headed your direction. No judge, no matter how long-winded or how meticulous, is going to stop GameTime, TBD© from getting you your weekly source of entertainment, or as you call it, the Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said.], a brief comment on the Pacific 10 Men's Basketball Conference . . . or as I now call it, the Wac-10. The Wac-10 is appropriate for two reasons: (1) I think any team from the Western Athletic Conference (the actual WAC conference) could compete in the Pac-10 this season; and (b) things have gotten just down right wacky in the conference this season. Everyone (and their mother) knew the Pac-10 was going to have a down year in terms of overall performance, but no one knew it was going to get this bad. The conference is a combined 5-13 against AP Top 25 teams this year and all teams are within two games of the conference lead. California and Arizona State (really?) are tied for the league lead and Washington, the preseason favorite to essentially runaway with the league, is struggling at 3-4 in the league after last nights last-second loss to UCLA. Oh, UCLA.

It seems like only yesterday you were playing in your third-straight Final Four. After watching you struggle through your non-conference schedule (5-7), you started Pac-10 play with a surprising win over Arizona State. Then you got blown out by Arizona, and that pattern has continued; a nice win in your mid-week game, a blow out loss on the weekend. Yet I can not quit you. At 3-3 in the conference, you are right there in the mix. Now if only you would string a few nice games together with, oh, I do not know, a little effort. You might be surprised at the result.

So with that being said, I encourage you to follow the Wac-10 for the rest of the season. Not because of the great basketball you are going to see, but rather because of just how crazy-bad things are. But before you go boning (hehehe . . . bone) up on your Wac-10 information, feel free to check out some things you might have missed:

• In non-sports related [read: hot-chick related] news, the world was rocked by news that Marisa Miller would parting ways with Victoria's Secret. Thankfully, Victoria has since stated the story is false. What would we have done without this?
• I did not realize "ambiguous sexual characteristics" required the creation of "special medical centers". I thought the five o'clock shadow (amongst other "things") usually gave it away.
  
• Are you ready for the AFC and NFC championships? The Sports Guy certainly is.
• You too can see JaMarcus Russell's c-cups for just a handful of beads.
  
• Hey Rueben, how have you been spending your time since being cut by the Giants? Oh, I see.
• With all the "hostess" hoopla going on in the SEC, Mississippi State is going a different route to attract recruits. [Editor's Note: sorry in advance for the picture.]
  
• I really wish this was a link to a story by The Onion. Sadly, it is not.
• While most Major League Baseball players are trying to get off the juice, Miguel Cabrera is trying to get off the sauce.
• Maybe he can get together with Hammer.
• Sportsmanship at its finest . . . if by finest you mean fouling the other team to keep the clock from running so you can still reach one hundred points. Karma's a bitch.
  

Sorry we are a little light on links this week. Between running behind and the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is football, things were a little scarce in the creativity and humor department. So, in our infinite wisdom (someone's got to have some, right?), we have decided to give an extra large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure on this very wet Friday:

• John Daly (looking svelte as ever my man) weighs in on Tiger Woods 'cause . . . well . . . why not?
• This was the "Highlight of the Night" on Sports Centre . . . no, that is not a typo.
  
• You know that we are a suckers for a good nut shot . . . no matter how long ago it occurred.
  
• Could 2010 be the year of win? . . .
  
• . . . Guess not. Remember kids, crack kills.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, it is good remember the great moments we are likely to see (besides wardrobe malfunctions of course).
• David Letterman proves yet again he is his writers are still the funniest in late night television [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch Coco's final show on NBC tonight.]
• Speaking of Coco, he is on a mission to spend as much money as possible during his final week at NBC. Here are attempts one and two.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Doing Anything Special This Weekend?

Any particular reason you swung by GameTime, TBD© today? Of course there is. You are looking for your weekly dose of information, entertainment, and, maybe, just maybe, a few good laughs (also known as the Link Dump). But, of course, your Friday is just the start of your weekend, so we were wondering if you had anything special planned for this weekend?

My Better Half has quite the weekend lined up. Believe you me, nothing says a good time like getting down to business and writing a few papers for school (ah, grad school, how I do not miss you). Now, I am a firm believer of making sure you take care of yourself and have a good time on the weekends, so she has assured me her weekend will also consist of a hair cut and an eyebrow waxing . . . wait, what? Men and women certainly do have different weekend priorities. Regardless, she claims this weekend is going to be legendary. But for some reason, I do not think she means it in the same sense as our good pal Barney does. She also said she has a pretty nice little Saturday; she is going to Home Depot, you know, to buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond, she does not know. She does not know if she will have enough time.

I believe I can safely assume you are confused as to why she would be running such errands on her own (if she was actually running those errands . . . if you didn't get that, you should be ashamed of yourself . . . ASHAMED). Well, my dear readers, I shamelessly used my Better Half's weekend homework plans to lead into . . . well . . . some bragging. That is right, I am calling it an early Friday and heading to the airport so I can catch my flight to San Francisco. It has been far too long since I have had a weekend of debauchery with just the boys . . . wait, that came out wrong. The plans include Point Break Live, drinking, possibly attending the Cal/Stanford game, drinking, hitting up the O Club for some squash (no, that's not a euphemism . . . get your mind out of the gutter, we run a classy joint here), drinking, watching my Lions beat down on the Cleveland Browns (believe it or not, the Lions are favored in game; I'll give you moment to stop laughing . . . okay, seriously . . . it's not that funny . . . okay, now you're just be rude), oh, and probably some drinking. Dare I say, this weekend is going to be legen . . . wait for it . . . dary. A weekend that even Barney would be proud of . . . if you exclude suiting up and hooking up with random skanks.

Well, I have got to get some things done before I bail out early to catch my flight (that is why I actually wrote this introduction on Thursday night). For those of you who have plans for the weekend, I hope they are go as well as you hope they will. For those of you who do not, you are losers I hope you are able to relax and have an enjoyable time nonetheless. Regardless, here are some things you might have missed to help you get to those plans a little faster:

• The newest target in stupid parents' attempts to make childhood no fun anymore: dodgeball.
• Zach Greinke is having quite the week. On Tuesday, he won the American League Cy Young Award; on Saturday, he is going to marry her. Tough life.
• Who knew Googling athletes could be so fun?
• Chad Ochocinco is fast becoming my favorite non-Lion NFL player. If you bookmark his Twitter page, he will become yours too.
• If only all Tebow fans were (1) hot, and (b) wore painted-on clothes.
• Rick Neuheisel has taken a novel approach to recruiting: sleeping with the recruits mom.
• Notre Dame is going to replace Charlie Weis without the wrath of ravenous internet bloodhounds.
• As much as we like to bash USC around these parts, it is good to see Stafon Johnson was able to speak again. Surprisingly, his first words were not, "Where's the nearest Song Girl?"
• Once you read their analysis of Kirk Herbstreit, ask yourself this question: did they actually watch any of these people before ranking them?
• One of the greatest endings to a college football game, compliments of the Division II playoffs (with video highlights . . . hey BCS fools, take a hint).
• Anyone who has been to a Pac-10 basketball in the past ten years was already aware of this.
• You remember that awesome video of the New Mexico soccer player taking out her aggression on BYU? Yes, the media response was blown way out of proportion, so let us get her side of things.
• I can think of about ten thousand better ways to spend $200,000, and those are just the ways involving women.

Tick . . . tock . . . tick . . . tock. Seriously, has my clock stopped? My 4:45 p.m. flight seems like it will never get here. On the other hand, you are probably thinking your 5:00 p.m work departure time will never get here. Rest assured, my dear readers, we have a fine collection of clips for your viewing pleasure to help it get here faster:

• When you watch this video, you'll probably think the barista slipped something into your Starbucks this morning. I promise, she did not.
• Cartwheeling goalie for the . . . fail.
• "Wait 'til they see my 'O'" (face? . . . ba-ZING!).
• If she lived in Columbia, she would be shot on the spot. Here in America, she is just cute.
• Sir, I am not positive, but I think those are the wrong balls.
• It is good to celebrate your goals in style.
• If only all of John Mellencamp's commercials were this good.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Better Late Than Never

Well, we finally got settled into our new digs and they look . . . well . . . exactly like the old ones, only, there is a lot more noise because more people are around. Hmm; I miss the island of solitude our old office provided. Can someone please remind me why we did this? Oh, right, because it was "strongly recommended" by the boss. Nevermind.

If the NHL wanted to gain some fans, they should have done whatever it took to broadcast last night's Los Angeles Kings versus Pittsburgh Penguins match up. It was one of the best hockey games I have ever seen. I was there with 18,116 of my closest friends (what can I say, I'm huge on Facebook) and Dad (I can neither confirm nor deny the truth a wager was made in which I bet one of my kidneys against whether Dad would be paying for playoff hockey tickets this season . . . don't let me down boys, I'm kinda attached to Larry and Ralph). The game featured goals on both of the teams first shots of the game, solid two-way action for the first two periods, and a third period in which the Kings absolutely took it to the defending Stanley Cup champions in a 5-2 rout. The Penguins, like several other teams (including Detroit, Philadelphia, New York, and Montreal), have a large contingency of fans no matter where they play. Not since the 2000-2001 season have I heard Kings fans drown out visiting fans like they did last night. It was the way Staples Center should be for every home game (is there an echo in here?)

Last night was not the first time I was reminded of the 2000-2001 time frame this week. I am sure you all have heard by now that the twenty-fifth ranked Orangemen of Syracuse lost to the mighty Division II Dolphins of Le Moyne on Tuesday in a college basketball exhibition game. You might not have heard, however, that UCLA tried desperately to match Syracuse's feat against NAIA "powerhouse" Concordia on Wednesday but eeked out a win in the final seconds. Well, I generally do not put too much stock into exhibition games . . . except when they occur during the 2000-2001 season and, through the transitive property of victories, result in my Occidental Tigers being crowned the National Champions of Division I basketball. In early November 2000, the gritty Tigers traveled up the I-5 to face off against Division I opponent Cal State University at Northridge (the Matadors) on their home court (the Matadome . . . yup, you read that correctly). Well, Oxy squeaked out a close victory that triggered a chain of events the likes of which have never been seen. On November 21, 2000, the Matadors traveled to UCLA and defeated the then-fifteenth ranked Bruins, 78-74. On February 3, 2001, UCLA swung by Maples Pavilion and knocked off the top-ranked Cardinal of Stanford, 79-73 (ah, Steve Lavin, your coaching never ceased to amaze me), who, on December 21, 2000, had defeated the number one ranked Duke Blue Devils, 84-83. This story, of course, would not have a point unless those Blue Devils (Duke SUCKS) had not gone and beat Arizona 82-72 on April 2, 2001 to win the Division I National Championship. So, you see, Oxy beat CSUN, who beat UCLA, who beat Stanford, who beat Duke, who won the National Championship. And that, my friends, is how the Occidental Tigers became the 2000-2001 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Champions. I think we should hang a banner.

Did I lose you there? I would not be surprised. If someone had told me that story I probably would have followed it up with my traditional response: "Cool story Hansel." If you know me, you know that is not usually a good thing. Anyways, I am sure you all loved it and have totally bought into my "transitive property of victories" theory. If you have not, kindly show yourself the door. If you have, here are some other things you might find interesting:

• Up for a challenge (and some chicks)? Try your hand at this cheerleader uniform quiz.
• Speaking of uniforms, this list is supposedly the "12 Hottest Female Sports Uniforms". However, boobs and/or nudity did not make the list, thus throwing all credibility out the window.
• Speedskating just got a whole lot more popular, satirical.
• What do you get when you place a large group of professional athletes in a city for one whole week? Answer.
• Can you imagine a world in which Gus Johnson is replaced by Dick Vitale? Welcome to your new reality.
• Dear UCF, Please find enclosed a check for $3 million. Xoxo, Michael Jordan. P.S. Sorry about my son.
  
• Aw, nobody wants to play with them.
• Sing it with me: I was gonna win the Cy Young, but then I got high.

One thing I appreciate on The Dan Patrick Show is when DP takes the time give shout outs to all the new stations that have started carrying his show. I think that is a classy move. So I decided we are going to start giving shout outs to our new dedicated fans. This week's shout outs go to BF, Q, and Cow who, after being featured in last week's Link Dump, have all become loyal GameTime, TBD© readers. Welcome aboard ladies. For you, and the rest of my dedicated readers out there, here are some clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Now that is how you earn your indefinite suspension.
• Reebok attempts to sell women's shoes by marketing to men. I am listening . . .
• Bruce Lee even plays ping pong like a bad @$$.
• Oh Magic 8 Ball, do not fail me now.
• This has to be a joke, right?
• Matti Hoyla (who?) exits the ice in style.
• I can not say I am surprised he is playing in a semi-pro league after that play.
• With the Winter Olympics less than one hundred days away, this video has started making the rounds. Certainly gets me fired up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Could You Describe the Ruckus, Sir?

Hello all. It has been far too long. I am sorry for the relative lack of activity taking place around these parts of the world wide web, but my schedule has been absolutely crazy. It still is, actually, but I was not going to let it stop me from taking care of my favorite people (the avid GameTime, TBD© readers) once again. And for a while I bounced around how to start off this week's Link Dump. Do I regale you with stories of my adventures in Point Pleasant, West Virginia (ever heard of the Mothman?)? Or the fact that Vanessa Hudgens loves taking pictures of herself . . . in the mirror . . . without any clothes on (she's 18 right? [Googling Vanessa Hudgens] 20, phew . . . oh yeah, that one's NSFW)? Or maybe I could tease you with details of my upcoming vacation (that's just cruel). But then, as it so often does, life picked the topic for me.

You may or may not have heard (I'm going to guess you have), but John Hughes passed away yesterday at the far-too-young age of fifty-nine. I am willing to wager that there is not a single person out there who does not have at least one Hughes-written movie amongst their top ten favorite movies of all time. Sure, his more recent credits might not be all that impressive, but look at the run he had from 1983 to 1991: Mr. Mom; Vacation; Sixteen Candles; The Breakfast Club; European Vacation; Weird Science; Pretty in Pink; Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Planes, Trains & Automobiles, The Great Outdoors, Uncle Buck, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, and Dutch. That is an impressive eight-year run. Having not attended high school until the late-1990s, I can not say I appreciated The Breakfast Club, or the other Brat Pack movies, as much as some of my older readers, but they are still great movies. And there is not a week that goes by that I do not follow up one of my far-too-intellectual jokes with "Bueller? . . . Bueller? . . . Anyone? . . . Anyone?" And I will be the first to admit that I will still watch Home Alone when it is on during the holiday, and you can bet that Christmas Vacation is right there for the encore. But I would have to say that Planes, Trains & Automobiles ranks as my favorite John Hughes movie (I knew Rich Eisen and I would be best buddies). It is by far John Candy's best work (sorry all you Who's Harry Crumb lovers) and, if you know me, you know there is not a pre-Bowfinger Steve Martin movie I do not love, and it was written by, perhaps, my second-favorite film/television writer of all time (sorry Hughes family, Sorkin takes the cake).

And while I am sure we could spend the rest of the day debating why we prefer one Hughes movies over another, that is not really why you are here. Obviously the thoughts and prayers of the GameTime, TBD© team go out to the Hughes family, but we are here to make sure you all are a little happier on this Friday afternoon, not bummed out. So to help you get through the rest of your afternoon (and to help me get to vacation a little faster), here are some things you might have missed:

• This countdown alone could kill the rest of your afternoon, but it is totally worth it: The 50 Most Badass Moments In Sports.
• I can not decide if the fourteen points UCLA got in the preseason coaches' poll means they are overrated or underrated.
• Round 1 goes to Delaware; round 2 to the NCAA. But rest assured, Montana is safe.
  
• UCF should know that college football fans take their drunk co-eds tailgating very seriously.
• "I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame." Good to know Vince does not have any self-esteem issues.
• Something tells me that Michael Crabtree will probably not let his cousin speak on his behalf for much longer.
• I do not care if it is $90 or $60, it better be the best pizza ever made for that kind of money.
• The Juice may be loose sooner than expected.
• I have said it before, and I will say it again, the litigious nature of this society drives me mad.
• When the gravy train stops running, a girl has got to earn a living somehow.
• Here is a fine example of second place being the first winner: the view.
• He's a she; she's a he; he's a she-he.
• A new fight for those right-wing freaks that have hijacked my beloved Republican party.
• Although this photo spread has nothing to do with Marisa Miller (or other attractive women for that matter), I promise you, making it through all 20 galleries is well worth your time.

If you have truly taken the time to enjoy all of those links, it has probably taken you about an hour to get this far (I think that is some kind of record for the Link Dump). And for your effort, you deserve to rewarded. While I am willing to wager that only one of these videos' writing rises to the level of John Hughes (heck, two of them are unscripted), I think they are all equally enjoyable and will likely bring a smile to your face (oh, and probably a slight cringe):

• "Those aren't pillows!" (okay, I cheated, Hughes actually wrote it).
• Livin' the dream, baby!
• And he's out!
• Remember when laser pointers used to be cool? Not anymore.
• Still trying to keep you in the Tweet Boxx loop: Episode 5, Episode 6, and Episode 7.
• I am about a week late on this one, but you have got to respect their dedication to Trey (and college rivalries).
• Of course, you can have that last one without this one. [Editor's Note: remember, username: GameTimeTBD; password: gametime]

The GameTime, TBD© office is closed next week; sorry about that. Regardless, have a great weekend (and week) everyone!

So Much To Say . . .

. . . so little time.

When I closed up shop and headed home for the night yesterday, I instantly started thinking about the introduction for today's Link Dump. I had a lot of options. I had a break through in my golf lessons that has me all fired up about getting my game back to pre-law school form (i.e., when I played for my college team). Also, on Tuesday night, I met Pete Carroll. Well, meet might be a strong verb; I really just said hi. My mother always taught me that if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. So I kept my mouth shut [things I could have said included (1) Did you thank Tim Floyd for taking the fall for you?; (b) recruiting a little young these days, aren't we (he was holding a baby)?; or (III) How's that Song Girl coach doing these days?]. I also thought about going with an apology for the lack of original content thus far this summer. I feel like I have been letting all of my avid readers down lately and the guilt is starting to weigh me down. But all of that was trumped by something that is becoming all too common in basketball (both college and professional).

When you are leading by three with less than the length of the shot clock remaining in the game, you foul. You do not let Derek Fisher dribble across center court and pull up for an uncontested three (and you certainly don't walk back to your bench afterwards with a stupid smile on your face while the rest of your team looks shell-shocked; yes, I'm talking to you Jameer Nelson). I have seen it far too many times in basketball games, with last night's Lakers/Magic game equalling that of the 2008 Memphis/Kansas NCAA Championship game. The theory is simple: as soon as the team crosses center court, you foul the person with the ball. They take their two shots from the free throw line and at best, AT BEST, pull their team to within one. You get the ball back, get to burn a second or two more off the clock, and will end up shooting free throws yourself. You make them, and force your opponent to try a desperate long range three to tie, or maybe win if you missed one. Regardless, their last second shot is not going to be easy, and the odds are in your favor.

Why is this so difficult to understand (and why is it so difficult for Boobs McGee to find her seat)? It gets me fired up every time. If I were the Magic, I would fire Stan Van Gundy and cut Jameer Nelson on the spot. I would have done the same with John Calipari in 2008 (well, I would have never even hired Calipari in the first place, but that's just me getting personal). I do not care how much you trust your defense. You take any chance of a tie, no matter how remote, out of the equation. If you allow a team to make a last-second three to send it to overtime, you have roughly a zero percent chance of winning. You could see it in the faces of the Memphis players in 2008 after Collins made his shot, and you could see it last night in the body language of the Magic after Fisher made his. You might as well not even come out for overtime at that point.

Just thinking about that idiotic look on Jameer Nelson's face has got me all fired up again. I need to go for a walk or something. So while I do that, here are some things you might have missed:

• Somehow this piece set off yet another mainstream media attack on the blogging world. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a 42-year-old living in my parents basement . . .
• Fact: you are a d-bag.
• Montana joins Washington, much to the surprise of Idaho.
• Orwellian injury disclosure policy . . . blah, blah, blah . . . shrouds of subterfuge . . . ya-da, ya-da, ya-da . . . damaged testicle . . . wait, what?
• Andy Sandberg, on a boat; Tom Brady, not.
• I can't quit you, Carson.
  
• Remember when the Rams had one of the most lovable owners in the NFL? That might be about to change.
  
• Just to recap: he did not kill nobody, or rape nobody. Oh, Manny.
• Remember this ESPN the Magazine commercial? Hopefully they listen to their advice, go with primarily female athletes.
• When running a sportsbook, are you not supposed to make money?
• There is no "I" in "team", but there is a me.

It was a banner week in terms of video entertainment. My sources kept coming up with great stuff from all around the globe. In my opinion, you all are in for quite a treat this week. I am not even going to waste any more of your time and am going to get right to it:

• If you have not seen The Hangover yet, here is some of what you have been missing.
• This Remi fellow, yeah, he is alright (and I am doing fine, thanks for asking).
• Look, I am all for videotaping your child's early years; there are sure to be great memories. But posting things on the Internet so they can then be spliced together into a comedic video is bad form (and we thank you for it).
• This video totally reminded me of Billy Madison, only in real life.
• Steve Nash: better point guard or reporter? You decide.
• No tag line I write will match the greatness of our last video. You. Are. Welcome.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

Unless you live under a rock (in which case, you're probably not much of a GameTime, TBD© reader), you probably heard somewhere that John Calipari ditched Memphis for Kentucky (and Ashley Judd . . . nice). And to think that all it took was an eight-year, $31.65 million dollar contract, with a few extra perks (Ashley Judd? No? Bummer).

Now, you all know that the weekly Link Dump is usually reserved for the more, shall we say, "obscure" sports stories, but I had to take a moment to comment on this. That is because at some point during this past week, Calipari called Kentucky the "Notre Dame of basketball." Putting aside for a moment the fact that, last time I checked, Notre Dame had its own basketball team, who died and made Kentucky the "most storied" program in the history of college basketball (at least that's what I'm assuming Calipari meant when he made that comparison, not that he thought Kentucky was actually in South Bend, Indiana and was a Catholic private school . . . but hey, free throws don't matter either right Cal?). Those Kentucky apologists out there claim it is the program's history that makes then the greatest, so let us see what history tells us.

It is true that Kentucky has the most victories all-time (1,988), the most conference titles (49), the most NCAA tournament appearances (50), and the most tournament victories (100 . . . but wouldn't that naturally flow from having the most tournament appearances?) . However, the SEC has long been considered a football conference and only three SEC schools have won NCAA basketball titles (Kentucky has 7, Florida 2, Arkansas 1). Kentucky's thirteen Final Four appearances are only fourth best and their tournament winning percentage is only sixty-nine (hehe) percent. There are a few other programs, like UCLA, North Carolina, and Duke, that might think they are at the top, and they all have compelling arguments.

North Carolina, for example, is not too far behind Kentucky for most victories (1,982), is tied for the most Final Fours (18 . . . with UCLA), has won 33 ACC titles (a much more competitive conference), and appeared in the NCAA tournament a record twenty-seven straight years from 1975 to 2001. They have also won four NCAA titles and have won seventy-one percent of their tournament games (in 41 appearances). Conference rival Duke's resume does not look half-bad either. The Blue Devils have the fourth most victories (1,876), the third most Final Four appearances (14), and the highest NCAA tournament winning percentage (75% in 33 appearances). They have also won twenty-one ACC titles, three national titles, and have sat atop the AP rankings for 110 weeks, second only to UCLA's 148 weeks. Which, of course, brings us to UCLA. Yes, I know UCLA only has the eighth most victories (1,672), but it does have the most NCAA titles (11), is tied for the most Final Four appearances (18), and once had an amazing 88-game winning streak (which was, ironically enough, snapped by . . . Notre Dame). It has also won thirty conference titles in a much more competitive basketball conference (the Pac-10 has had five teams win national titles) and is second in NCAA tournament winning percentage (74% in 43 appearances). And UCLA even had to deal with the Steve Lavin era.

So John, why not let Notre Dame be the Notre Dame of college basketball, and you worry about your own backyard for a while. And while the folks here at GameTime, TBD© debate which program is the best, here are some things the rest of you might have missed:

• In non-sports related news, Offer "You Following Me Camera Guy?" Shlomi gives hooker the old Slap Chop. Sham, WOW!
• Close on the heels of the U.S. Pole Dancing Championships comes word of a war that I can definitely get behind.
• Finally, some sound advice for the Lions and what to do with the number one overall pick.
• With Cutler in Chicago now, here is a nice little history lesson on the Bears and quarterbacks.
• The best show you are not watching (and I'm not just saying that because it might have the hottest female ensemble since forever) will be back for at least two more seasons.
  
• Put all your money on Michigan St., immediately. [Editor's Note: not ACTUAL gambling advice]
• Come on guys, was your season so bad that you really had to start shooting your own?
• The Pittsburgh Pirates have to be feeling real good about their farm system right about now.
• Ah yes, it is the age-old question: when is it appropriate to change Rick to Dick?
• I see you are skilled in the ancient arts of manipulation and seduction.
• If I dated an underwear model, I would be "popping a second cork" too (ba-ZING!).
• It takes a real man to lay-up on a Par 3 (with a little appetizer for your viewing enjoyment).

Now that your appetite for viewing enjoyment has been properly wetted, let us move on to the main course. We have a fine selection of choices this week, including one rare clip that was thought lost forever:

• How did Guitar Hero commercials go from this to this?
• I would take 9 minutes out of my day for Norm McDonald's awesomely-uncomfortable (and surprisingly dated) monologue from the 1998 ESPY's any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
• A Brewers' fan is courageously keeping the world safe for bikini-clad sunbathing girls, one home run ball at a time.
• Dear Goalie, Today I own you. Very truly yours, Linus.
  
• Excuse me. Coming through. Got a package people!

Have a great weekend everyone!