My Better Half has quite the weekend lined up. Believe you me, nothing says a good time like getting down to business and writing a few papers for school (ah, grad school, how I do not miss you). Now, I am a firm believer of making sure you take care of yourself and have a good time on the weekends, so she has assured me her weekend will also consist of a hair cut and an eyebrow waxing . . . wait, what? Men and women certainly do have different weekend priorities. Regardless, she claims this weekend is going to be legendary. But for some reason, I do not think she means it in the same sense as our good pal Barney does. She also said she has a pretty nice little Saturday; she is going to Home Depot, you know, to buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond, she does not know. She does not know if she will have enough time.
I believe I can safely assume you are confused as to why she would be running such errands on her own (if she was actually running those errands . . . if you didn't get that, you should be ashamed of yourself . . . ASHAMED). Well, my dear readers, I shamelessly used my Better Half's weekend homework plans to lead into . . . well . . . some bragging. That is right, I am calling it an early Friday and heading to the airport so I can catch my flight to San Francisco. It has been far too long since I have had a weekend of debauchery with just the boys . . . wait, that came out wrong. The plans include Point Break Live, drinking, possibly attending the Cal/Stanford game, drinking, hitting up the O Club for some squash (no, that's not a euphemism . . . get your mind out of the gutter, we run a classy joint here), drinking, watching my Lions beat down on the Cleveland Browns (believe it or not, the Lions are favored in game; I'll give you moment to stop laughing . . . okay, seriously . . . it's not that funny . . . okay, now you're just be rude), oh, and probably some drinking. Dare I say, this weekend is going to be legen . . . wait for it . . . dary. A weekend that even Barney would be proud of . . . if you exclude suiting up and hooking up with random skanks.
Well, I have got to get some things done before I bail out early to catch my flight (that is why I actually wrote this introduction on Thursday night). For those of you who have plans for the weekend, I hope they are go as well as you hope they will. For those of you who do not, you are losers I hope you are able to relax and have an enjoyable time nonetheless. Regardless, here are some things you might have missed to help you get to those plans a little faster:
- The newest target in stupid parents' attempts to make childhood no fun anymore: dodgeball.
- Zach Greinke is having quite the week. On Tuesday, he won the American League Cy Young Award; on Saturday, he is going to marry her. Tough life.
- Who knew Googling athletes could be so fun?
- Chad Ochocinco is fast becoming my favorite non-Lion NFL player. If you bookmark his Twitter page, he will become yours too.
- If only all Tebow fans were (1) hot, and (b) wore painted-on clothes.
- Rick Neuheisel has taken a novel approach to recruiting: sleeping with the recruits mom.
- Notre Dame is going to replace Charlie Weis without the wrath of ravenous internet bloodhounds.
- As much as we like to bash USC around these parts, it is good to see Stafon Johnson was able to speak again. Surprisingly, his first words were not, "Where's the nearest Song Girl?"
- Once you read their analysis of Kirk Herbstreit, ask yourself this question: did they actually watch any of these people before ranking them?
- One of the greatest endings to a college football game, compliments of the Division II playoffs (with video highlights . . . hey BCS fools, take a hint).
- Anyone who has been to a Pac-10 basketball in the past ten years was already aware of this.
- You remember that awesome video of the New Mexico soccer player taking out her aggression on BYU? Yes, the media response was blown way out of proportion, so let us get her side of things.
- I can think of about ten thousand better ways to spend $200,000, and those are just the ways involving women.
Tick . . . tock . . . tick . . . tock. Seriously, has my clock stopped? My 4:45 p.m. flight seems like it will never get here. On the other hand, you are probably thinking your 5:00 p.m work departure time will never get here. Rest assured, my dear readers, we have a fine collection of clips for your viewing pleasure to help it get here faster:
- When you watch this video, you'll probably think the barista slipped something into your Starbucks this morning. I promise, she did not.
- Cartwheeling goalie for the . . . fail.
- "Wait 'til they see my 'O'" (face? . . . ba-ZING!).
- If she lived in Columbia, she would be shot on the spot. Here in America, she is just cute.
- Sir, I am not positive, but I think those are the wrong balls.
- It is good to celebrate your goals in style.
- If only all of John Mellencamp's commercials were this good.
Have a great weekend everyone!
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