Road Game!

So, about a month-and-a-half ago, My Better Half casually mentioned she would be going to Las Vegas for work in late-November/early-December.  Naturally, I assumed she meant some mid-week conference at the MGM Grand or something.  Well, here I am, writing this Link Dump from the comfort of my Bellagio room while My Better Half learns the intricacies of health care accreditation twenty-three floors below.  Query: how early is too early to be playing Three Card Poker by yourself?  Road games rule!

Speaking of road games, while I was flying the friendly skies with Mike Tyson (#humblebrag), apparently Greg Popovich caused a little stir in the NBA by opting to rest his four best players at the end of the Spurs' second lengthy road trip of this young season.  Not content with having already ruined one professional sports league, David Stern did what David Stern does best and went off the deep end.  You see, David Stern is absolutely convinced he is the smartest person in all of sports . . . hell, he might believe he is the smartest person in the world . . . so he obviously knows what is best for everybody.  So he gets a little testy when someone does something that is actually smart, but goes against what he believes is smart.  So Stern felt the need to apologize to NBA fans (all five of them) and declared the Spurs organization will face "substantial sanctions" for Pop's actions.  No, admittedly, I am no NBA fan.  And I realize that Stern has built the "success" of the NBA around its individual superstars and the teams.  This, however, is just riDONKulous.

Davie, level with me, would you not rather have the Spurs, one of the more popular franchises in the league, ready to make a deep playoff run when all the games are nationally televised?  I think one regular season game is worth that cost.  Especially when you look at the scheduling you gave the Spurs.  It was to be their fourth game in five nights, and fifth game in seven.  Meanwhile, the Heat had been sitting at home since Saturday.  The Spurs have already played eleven games on the road; the Heat have played twelve games . . . total.  You have to think that type of scheduling is not good for one of the older teams in the league.  So do not act so surprised that one of the league's best coaches did the smart thing for the good of his team, which, last time I checked, is who is signing is paycheck.  And it seems a little disingenuous that you get upset over one regular season game when, for years, you have let franchises tank entire seasons to get a high lottery pick (see, e.g., the Cavaliers trying to get your beloved Bron-Bron). Look, if I go to an NBA game (don't ask me the last time that was), I want to see the best game possible, which implies the teams will play their best players.  But my tickets does not provide me an absolute guarantee that will happen; I get what I get.  I have seen some good teams get blown out by crappy teams with their entire roster, while the Heat needed a last-second three to beat the Spurs last night.  So, Davie, if you are going to run this league for another ten years (really?), I think you best get over yourself and learn to appreciate when a coach like Pop is honest.

Boy, I got a little fired up there.  If you did not notice, I am not exactly a big David Stern fan.  I do partially blame him for the problems of the NHL and, let us be honest, he is kind of a douche.  So, while I do some laps around the room to calm myself down, here are some things you might have missed to help get you through your Friday afternoon:

• I have watched this gif roughly eleventy billion times and it never gets old.  You. Are. Welcome.
• Mike Fisher, just the latest casualty of the NHL lockout.  MAN DOWN!
• You see . . . I . . . uh . . . well . . . 
• Two years for teabagging?  How are Louisiana prisons not grossly overpopulated?
• Survey shows college basketball players are (1) liars, and (b) have terrible taste in women.
• Good thing that suspension is with pay.  Otherwise, how could he take Tulsa Minus-2.5 in the Conference USA title game?
• When we last spoke, we told you about Eric Berry's fear of horses.  Today, we top that.
• Nothing says exciting NBA basketball like Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Keep up the good work Davie.
• I think the real story here is that Michael Jordan is still wearing cargo shorts . . . in 2012.
• It is like always say, if you are going to get busted for a DUI, do it in style.  [Editor's Note: we never say that.]
• This should end well for every other Denver-area female high school swimmer.
• Go time!
• Everybody loves a good tease . . .
• What ever happened to beer pong being the sport of gentlemen?
• Yeah, this is happening!

Speaking of road games (is there an echo in here?), my Bruins shoot for a trip to the Rose Bowl tonight in the Pac-12 title game tonight at Stanford.  Not going to lie, I am more than a little nervous about this game after what went down six short days ago.  I think it is best I get up and try to work off some of this nervous energy (hey, is that a Three Card Poker table?) and maybe see which way the line has moved since last night.  As for you guys, hope these clips selected for your viewing enjoyment help get you through your Friday with a smile on your face:

• Nothing says own goal like IN THE FACE!
• Turns out the laws of physics are alive and well in pee wee football.
• Not gonna lie, the Will Arnett looks pretty yummy . . . and I bet the drink is good too.  [Editor's Note: if you haven't watched the 30-for-30 short on Arnold Schwarzanegger, do yourself a favor and check it out.]
• Who knew a name could be so hypnotizing?
• I will be honest, if this happened to me I would totally soil myself.  Yes, I am a wuss.
• As someone who has taken his fair share of tumbles on ice, I appreciate this video.

Have a great weekend everyone!

How Does This Work Again?

[*dusts off keyboard*]

How does one go about apologizing to his thousands hundreds dozens handful of loyal readers after inexcusably disappearing for over a year?

Well, for starters, I think I would say that if you are actually here reading this, I truly appreciate you sticking around all this time.  Then, I would let you know about how painful this past year was, both in terms of not being able to bring you the Pulitzer-worthy writings you had grown to love and expect from my little corner of the world wide web, and the actual reason I became so suddenly unavailable.  Finally, I would tell you how sorry I am, hope you can forgive me, and promise I am a changed man and that things will be better than they were before my indiscretion (cause, you know, apparently this is now also Lifetime's next drama about a lover scorned . . . don't worry, I didn't spend the last year trying to make up for sins committed against My Better Half; a wise man knows when he has massively out-kicked his coverage and does everything in his power not to screw that up.)

Long story short, people left our firm, which resulted in a little game I like to call "Shuffle the Associates."  Now, I work by a motto my father taught me: "Work Hard; Have Fun; Make Money."  The theory is, if you work hard, and have a little fun while doing it, you are going to be successful (make money).  Well, when the game came to an end, I end up being assigned to partner of firm whose motto, if he had one, would be: "Work Hard, Work Harder, You're Not Working Hard Enough, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM WITH WORK?"  This might come as a surprise to you, but it turns out that is (1) not a fun environment to work in, (b) may cause some employees to resent you; and (iii) does not create a very productive work experience (shocking, right?).  While I never let it break me, it certainly did restrict my ability to enjoy the creative outlet that is GameTime, TBD©.  I kept fighting the good fight, grinding it out, and eventually I was able to find my way onto a team with a partner whose operating philosophy is more in line with mine.  In the words of William Wallace . . . FREEDOM!!!!!!!

Now, I can not guarantee it will be business as usual around these parts.  I have got to find my mojo again; and there will certainly be times when work gets in the way; but I love sharing my wisdom with you all too much to not make this happen.  So much has happened in the past year, I have plenty of ideas on how to make GameTime, TBD© better than ever, both in terms of user experience and content.  In just writing these first few paragraphs, I can already feel the excitement returning.  So stick around, it is bound to be a great show.

Well I finish getting things back up and running, reaching out to my contacts, and crafting my battle plan for continuing world domination, here are some things you might have missed from the past week to get you through your Friday afternoon.  That is right, my dear readers, it is Link Dump time:

• It is rivalry week here in Los Angeles, so naturally this and this happened.  GO BRUINS!
• Dear NCAA, Just a friendly reminder that your mission is to protect student athletes and their future.  Kthxbye.
• Somewhere Herm Edwards is reminding people "You PLAY. TO WIN. THE GAME."
• When do the owners cancel Gary Bettman's life?
• Surprising absolutely no one, this happened at a Cleveland Browns game.  Oh, Cleveland.
• Last time I checked a map, Cincinnati and Louisville were west of Philadelphia.  Did someone re-align the country again without telling me?   
• Hey bro, probably should have thought this one through a little more before going to print.
• Not very often you can say a team scored 104 points in a high school football game and did not run up the score.
• With Thanksgiving right around the corner, the end of the year is nearly upon.  And that means all those "Best of the Year" lists the Chief hates so much.  Like this one, that proves sports and innuendos go hand-in-hand.
• Speaking of Thanksgiving, that means it is time for Black Friday sales.  If you are headed to Williams Sonoma, here is some advice.
• In non-sports related news, do yourself a favor and check out the image.

I guess it is true what they say, some things in life truly are just like riding a bike.  You get back on and get going. [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]  It feels really good to be back in the driver's seat, so let us keep this party train moving forward.  First we tickled your brain, now we tickle your eyes . . . and may a few other places:

• When we last spoke, "model" Melanie Iglesias was flipbooking her way into your heart with some Halloween costumes.  As luck would have, she released a new flipbook today in an effort to untz-untz her way back into your heart.
• What, was Rebecca Black not available?
• I am sorry, what?
• Nice tats boss . . . oh, and that goal was pretty solid too.  [Editor's Note: speaking of tats, wow . . . just wow . . .]
• You see . . . I . . . uh . . . well . . .
• Exactly how does one break a rib and three vertebrae?  Oh, that does not look like fun.
• Current favorite word of the week: equinophobia.
• What do you get when cross the Galapagos Islands with the Miss Reef calendar girls?  One ass-tastic piece of art.

Man, it feels good to be back.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Second Verse, Same As The First

[Editor's Note:  yes, I know the NHL regular season is a week old now, but I know you all are still dying to know what lies ahead for the Los Angeles Kings this season, right? RIGHT?]

It seems like only yesterday (probably cause I was still blacked-out until yesterday) that my friends and my Better Half teamed up to secretly add multiple ounces of sake to my beer before boisterously declaring it was time for another round of sake bombs on what was (from what I remember) a truly epic thirtieth birthday celebration.  Sadly though, the big three-one is already right around corner (December 17th . . . *hint* *hint* *wink* *wink*) and, as Father Time prepares to put another tick mark next my name, I find myself having more and more adult-like thoughts . . . and it scares me.

Though I refuse to admit it around my Better Half (so don't go telling on me), I do actually find myself thinking more and more about what it will be like to have kids.  And what emotion do these thoughts evoke the most?  Fear, pure fear.  It is not a general fear about having kids.  Nah, I am pretty down with that thought.  Rather, it is fear that arises from being a self-aware individual that knows his shortcomings and knows that many of these shortcomings fly directly in the face of what I know I can expect once I become a father.  Having had the privilege of watching my siblings and siblings-in-law raise multiple future hockey players and/or GameTime, TBD© writers, I have gained a general understanding of what goes into to raising a monster child.  Sadly, it means I have also gained an understanding of where the challenges are going to lie.  Most notably, while I am known for my patience, one thing I absolutely hate having to do is repeat myself.  Can not stand it; I get uber-frustrated uber-quickly when I have to repeat myself.  So, that should make years two through eighteen pretty fun when the time comes, right?

So, as a man who hates to repeat himself, imagine my frustration when I sat down to prepare my 2011-2012 Los Angeles Kings Season Preview and I realized I could pretty much regurgitate everything I wrote when previewing the 2010-2011 season.  I mean, do not get me wrong, it was a great preview.  Plus, as it turns out, I was pretty much spot on with everything I wrote.  To summarize, I stated that for the Kings' 2010-2011 season to be successful, they must (1) maintain their regular-season closing ability, (b) learn to close in the playoffs, and (iii) improve their five-on-five scoring.  I also predicted Jonathan Bernier would be the Kings' breakout player of the year.  So, how did the season play out?  Well:

• Regular-season closing:  like the year prior, the 2010-2011 Kings managed at least one point in every game they led after two periods, going 26-0-1 (.963 win percentage), which was third best in the league.  They also were able to go 16-9-3 in games that were tied after two periods (.571 win percentage).  The 2010-2011 Kings proved they could still close in the regular season.
• Playoff closing: after earning their second-straight trip to the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the Kings showed they had learned nothing from the year before.  As evidence, look no further than their game three collapse against San Jose in which they blew leads of 4-0 and 5-3 in the second period alone.  Once they lost that one, it was pretty clear that a first-round exit was inevitable and out in six they were.
• Five-on-five scoring:  well, the Kings offense was far from pretty last year.  If it was not for their spectacular defense (6th overall, 4th-best penalty kill, fewest power-play goals allowed), the Kings would not have made the playoffs.  Their offense was offensive, finishing 25th in the league overall and 21st on the power play.  The Kings managed only 148 goals five-on-five last year (17th best in the league) and scored only 209 goals total.
• Breakout player:  I chose our back-up goalie as our breakout player because I thought he would reduce the burden on Jonathan Quick by serving as a productive back-up goalie.  Bernier started 22 games last season, posting an 11-8-3 record with a respectable 2.48 goals-against average and .913 save percentage.  This allowed Quick to play in eleven fewer games and post career bests in goals-against average (2.24) and save percentage (.918).

So, at the risk of ticking myself off, the keys to the Kings 2011-2012 season are (1) maintaining their ability to close in the regular season, (b) learning to close in the playoffs, and (iii) improving their five-on-five scoring.  [Editor's Note: is there an echo in here?]  Thankfully, the Kings have Dean Lombardi, the best general manager in hockey, who spent the entire offseason making sure the Kings would not have a repeat season.  To be fair, the Kings offense took a major hit when they lost Anze Kopitar to a broken ankle with seven games left in the season.  But those seven games did not stop them from being a top-twenty offense.  And DL did try to address the scoring issues before Kopitar went down by acquiring Dustin Penner from Edmonton for a pile of [expletive deleted] at the trade deadline (jury is still out on who got the better deal).  But to be extra sure the offense improves this season, DL went on a shopping spree, trading uber-prospect Braden Schenn and fan-favorite Wayne Simmonds to Philadelphia for stud-center Mike Richards, signing veteran-winger Simon Gagne, re-signing franchise-defenseman Drew Doughty, and adding veteran depth/locker room leadership with the under-the-radar signings of Ehtan Moreau and Trent Hunter.

When all was said-and-done this offseason, the Kings had added $114.6 million in salary.  Ironically, Philip Anschutz-owned AEG bought the Kings out of bankruptcy in 1995 for only $113.25 million.  The addition of Richard and Gagne should, assuming Penner got himself into shape this offseason (jury is still out on that), give the Kings something they have lacked since the Gretzky era: two legitimate scoring lines and depth down the middle with Kopitar, Richards, and Jarret Stoll.  To top it all off, the Kings still have the cap space to add yet another top-six winger before the trade deadline if necessary (Zach Parise should would look nice in a Kings uniform).  By re-signing Doughty, the Kings are returning the same defensive group that allowed only 2.39 goals per game last year.  Add to that the fact the Kings have two number one goaltenders again this year, and you have yourself the makings of a pretty exciting season . . . at least on paper.  I guess it should come as no surprise that some experts have the Kings making their second Stanley Cup Finals appearance in franchise history.

Which brings me to this year's breakout player, the guy who is going to play the biggest role in helping the Kings get over the hump.  It is probably cheating to pick Mike Richards, what, since he already has two thirty-goal seasons, has scored 349 points in six season, and was the captain of the Flyers the last two seasons.  So I am going to go out on a limb and say this years breakout player is Simon Gagne.  Sure, Gagne is a two-time forty-goal scorer, but he has spent the better part of the last two seasons battling through injury and trying to regain his scoring touch.  If healthy, he will find that scoring touch.  It helps that he is being reunited with Richards, his former linemate during part of his ten seasons in Philadelphia.  I expect Gagne to net at least twenty-five goals this season, and if he plays in seventy-plus games, thirty is not out of the question.  Production like that gives the Kings two productive scoring lines to contend with come playoff time.

Come playoff time?  You bet your [expletive deleted] the Kings are headed back to the playoffs.  Expectations are again high for the Kings and, as was previously noted, so are mine.  I am both excited and nervous for the eighty-two games [Editor's Note: 78 . . .] that lie ahead because, for the first time in a long time (ever?), it is not just my bias that believes the Kings have legitimate shot at a run for the Cup.  Anything thing less than a deep playoff run will be a disappoint to most of the fans, myself included, and could actually spell the end of reign of Murray II.  I think they have what it takes this year, which means, come May/June, I fully expect to see Commissioner Bettman handing Lord Stanley's Cup to Dustin Brown.

And if that were to happen, maybe I will have my own future-hockey player/GameTime, TBD© writer come March 2013 . . . wait, what?

It's Back, And So Are We (Almost)

It has been exactly one hundred and sixty-five days--that is five months and twelve days for those of you not willing to count--since the San Jose Sharks end our beloved Los Angeles Kings 2010-2011 season in the first round of the playoffs.  And while some friends of the program [*cough* Ballgame *cough*] are too busy dancing around in fields of dandelions to notice, in a little over twenty-three minutes, the puck will drop on the Kings' 2011-2012 season and their first legitimate shot at a run for the Stanley Cup since a guy named Gretzky played here.

I know what you are thinking right about now: "A ten a.m. faceoff? The NHL has truly lost its mind."  Well, yes and no.  It is a ten a.m. faceoff because the game is being played in Stockholm, Sweden.  This is both cool and lame.  Cool, because it is fun to see the NHL share its talent with the world; lame, because it falls at the start of the work day here in California and, more importantly to our avid readers, in the middle of when the Chief should be putting the finishing touches on your weekly source of entertainment known as our Link Dump.

Well, needless to say, the Chief is far too preoccupied this morning with the expectations of the season to get around to a Link Dump for everyone, but at our "staff" meeting last night he made a few announcements that we are excited to share with you all today:  (1) the Chief's always entertaining season preview is in its final stages of preparation (blame Drew Doughty) and should be up and running sometime this weekend; (b) with expectations high for this year's team, the Chief has decided to it would be enjoyable for all of you to feel what he feels throughout the course of the season and will be writing weekly, if not more frequent, season updates for your enjoyment; and (iii) since he could not find the time to get you a Link Dump, the Chief at least was willing to find time to find a way (that's a lot of finding he did) to get you all somewhat interested in the start of the Kings season, with a little help from Kings Ice Girl Gabby.  It truly is summer all year long in Southern California.

The Chief also want me to reassure all of you that GameTime, TBD© is not about to become a Kings-only site; we will to our best to continue our Link Dumps and touch upon any major sports-related topic that may arise in the normal course of business.  For example, do not forget to tune in to Monday Night Football this coming Monday, when Jay Cutler may ACTUALLY die on the football field when his offensive line-less Chicago Bears travel to Detroit for the much anticipated (at least by the Chief) showdown with the Lions.

In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!

Never Mix Your Downers and Your Uppers

We have on good authority that the Chief has finally come to terms with end of the Los Angeles Kings' season and is finally ready to get things back up and running at full speed here in the GameTime, TBD© offices.  As such, we spent the better part of Wednesday and Thursday bouncing around ideas for the introduction for this week's Link Dump.  And, obviously, the topic we kept coming back to is the death of Osama bin Laden.  Now, we, like everyone else, are ready to never hear that man's name uttered ever again, but with his death, and the subsequent news coverage, we have all been reminded of just how far reaching the impact of September 11th was.  And, so we thought we would take this opportunity to share one of the many sports-related stories you may not have heard before.

Whenever someone attends their first Los Angeles Kings' game at the Staples Center, a lot of times you hear them ask this question: "Why is the Kings' mascot named Bailey?"  I am not surprised by the question; Bailey does seem like an odd name for a lion (the King of beasts) mascot.  I am more surprised with how few Kings fans actually know the answer.  So here we go:

Garnet "Ace" Bailey won two Stanley Cups with the Boston Bruins (1970 and 1972).  But his real impact in the NHL came from his career after his playing days, as a scout.  His keen eye for talent helped build the great Edmonton Oilers' dynasty of the mid-to-late 1980s.  During his time in Edmonton, he had become a mentor and close friend to the NHL's greatest ambassador, Wayne Gretzky.  In 1994, he was hired by the Kings to serve as their Director of Pro Scouting, a position he held until 2001.

On a warmer-than-average September morning in Boston, Massachusetts, Ace Bailey and fellow-Kings scout Mark Bavis meet at Logan International Airport in preparation for their flight to Los Angeles for the start of the Kings' training camp and the beginning of the season.  They board their flight with fifty-four other passengers, push back from the gate at 7:58 a.m., and officially depart for Los Angeles at 8:14 a.m.  Unfortunately, Bailey and Bavis will never make it to Los Angeles.  That is because, at the direction of Osama bin Laden, five hijackers will take over United Airlines flight 175 and, at 9:03 a.m., with the world watching live on television, fly the plane into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

Since the President announced that the U.S. had finally tracked down and killed the most wanted in the world last Sunday, news organizations far and wide began tracking down both survivors and the families of those who lost their life in the attacks of September 11th, to get their response to news.  ESPN's Scott Burnside had the opportunity to catch up with the Bailey family, who have carried on Ace's legacy through a foundation helping children battling serious illnesses.  Burnside also took the time to catch up with current-Washington Capitals head coach Bruce Boudreau, who, at the time, was the head coach of the Kings' AHL affiliate in Manchester, New Hampshire and had his own connection to Bailey.  And for those of us who cheer on the Kings every season, we are reminded of Garnet "Ace" Bailey with the presence of a lion, the Kings' mascot Bailey.

I am not going to lie, there are exactly zero good ways to transition from a story of 9/11 to the entertaining part of the Link Dump, the links.  I will say this, if you have not been following this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs, you have been missing out on the best playoffs of recent memory, games that are head and shoulders ahead of anything the NBA can produce in terms of drama and excitement.  Seriously, I can not recommend strongly enough that you try to check out some of the action this weekend.  I promise it will be worth your time.  Speaking of worth your time:

• Men in green tights have not been this entertaining since Mel Brooks did his thing.  So, NHL, stop trying to ruin a good thing.
• Please add "Wayne Gretzky Rookie Card" to your "Things That Are Recession Proof" list.
• Flutie did it! Flutie did it!
• What? Police using racial profiling? Get right out of town.
• Just a friendly reminder that, while the First Amendment gives you the right to speak your mind freely, it does not protect you from the consequences of exercising that right poorly.
• Only with the Browns. 
• "We're not moving to Toronto." But Los Angeles sure is nice in the winter.
• Heartbreak city.
• For the talent portion of the competition, Miss Michigan will demonstrate her skill with a blade.
• Your "Horrible Person of the Week" award goes to . . . 
• Anyone know when Amazon.com will be accepting pre-orders for this one? 
• The biggest mover up my list of favorite sports is cricket; twenty-fifth and climbing.  [Editor's Note: make sure you enjoy the audio portion of the story.]

The video portion of the Link Dump is always an interesting process.  Some weeks the idiots stay home so we have to dig through our archives for yet-to-be-shown entertaining videos.  Other weeks it is like there is an idiot convention on the internet and every one is rushing to one-up each other with videos.  Well, thankfully for you, this week was the latter of the two:

• Nut shot + "I pooped myself a little" = #WINNING.  [Editor's Note: normally nut shots don't require sound to be entertaining . . . watch this one without sound first, and then discover how it is eleventy billion times funnier with sound.]
• I like a man who is not afraid to put his money kidney where his mouth is.
• At what point, exactly, does one come to the decision that it is a good idea to get in front of a snowmobile rolling down a hill?  1:35 apparently  . . .
• Security guard, FTW!
• Pull-up Bar 1, Jag-Bag Trainer 0.
• You have to be awfully confident in your job performance to pull off this office prank.
• Smashville, population camera guy.
• I thought I heard a Rebecca Black reference in Obama's speech last Sunday.
• Is it lazy of us to post Jimmy Kimmel's "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" every week?  Probably.  Will we stop? [Censored] no!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Don't Be Jealous

[Editor's Note:  We were piecing together a solid introduction on responsible blogging, but a funny thing happened on the way to print . . . actual work.  What's that about?  So, we have had to scrap that introduction in the short term and move on with a quicker, more efficient opening.  But responsible blogging is a subject I take very seriously and is something I will definitely touch upon in the near future.  In the meantime, you have settle for another topic near and dear to my heart . . .]

I think it is safe to say that we all love vacations.  There are few things in this world better than spending an extended period of time without the worries and stresses of our everyday lives.  And, of course, who does not love the pre-vacation countdown?  And how about the direct correlation between days left until vacation and work productivity?  Well, today marks single digits remaining until the Chief and the Better Half head off on a much needed vacation.  That is right, they are official t-minus nine days and counting.  We do not want to make you jealous of where they are going [Editor's Note: *cough* *cough* Hawaii *cough* *cough* . . . boy, I hope I'm able to kick this cold before vacation . . .], so we will just leave it at that.  And, of course, a vacation for the Chief means a vacation for the rest of the GameTime, TBD© office because we are equal opportunity vacationers.  Sounds good, right?  But rest assured, dear readers, no matter where the Chief is, he is always trying to find ways to improve things around here to make it even better for you.  In fact, he is already holding "staff" meetings to cover what he hopes we will be able to accomplish on behalf of our little slice of the world wide web pie while the office is dark.  And I imagine he will be traveling with his prized journal, the holder of his creative genius, so that he can finally crank out the first original pieces of GameTime, TBD© content this year.  Believe you me, nothing gets the Chief's creative juices flowing like sipping cocktails and catching some rays on the white-sand beaches of the Big Island some tropical destination that shall remain nameless.

But let us not get too far ahead of ourselves.  Nine days means we still have two Fridays and, thus, two Link Dumps to get through.  After all, as our work productivity slowly works it way towards zero, we need something to keep us entertained.  And, more importantly, you, our dear readers, still have a Friday afternoon to get through without going postal on your boss and/or co-workers.  That is why we are here.

So, while we prepare for the next staff meeting, and while the Chief finalizes what restaurants he and the Better Half are going to be enjoying, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:

• What is wrong with this sentence:  "Marisa Miller is a fairly attractive young lady."?
• Speaking of Marisa, it is good to know she prefers the four-point stance when playing football.
• A brief follow-up to last week's M-F-K:  Mike Fisher's wife now cheers for the Nashville Predators.
• So, this guy is pretty much the anti-Lenny Dykstra of entrepreneurial professional athletes then?
• A classy move by a hockey player saves a dumb* fan ten dollars. [Editor's Note:  *everyone knows setting your beer on the dasher boards is just asking for trouble. EVERYBODY!]
• An estimated 111 million people watched the Super Bowl. That means an estimated 111 million people saw A-Rod get fed popcorn like the little [censored] he is.  His response? To be a little [censored].
• Ballsy move by Mike McCarthy before the Super Bowl even kicked off.
• Well, that is a huge weight of my chest.  Baseball Prospectus has finally figured out what baseball game Ferris, Sloane, and Cameron went to.
• A perfect record we should all applaud.
• For the record, this is not an NCAA violation.  Common sense would have told you that, but that is one thing the NCAA seems to be lacking.
• Who knew saying something like "Well, you guys don't go out and play [racial slur deleted] basketball." would get you canned?  Everyone but this guy.
• One day, Disney will write a movie "based" on a true story.  Of course, in that movie the double-amputee pitcher does not get cut from his high school baseball team.
• Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys . . . soccer players make way more.

If you are not following us on Twitter [Editor's Note: Shame. On. You.], then you missed the news that the Chief rocked the Surf City Half Marathon last weekend, setting a new personal best of 1:57:20.  Well, he ran with a camera and for this week's video portion of the Link Dump we proudly present one hour and fifty-seven minutes of running . . . just kidding.  Though, from what we hear, it would be a pretty entertaining video.  As the Chief put it: "I found this runner who was looked in on my target pace and ran about five yards behind the whole race.  The runner also happened to be an attractive female, so that was nice.  I was a category five creeper for the entire run."  Good work, Chief!  To celebrate, funny videos:

• You need a YouTube account, the language will get you fired, and females who do not read this site regularly are likely to be offended . . . must be a winner.
• If this does not get excited for the next Lions’ season (if there is one) then I do not know what will.  No, seriously.
• Thank you, Captain Obvious.  
• You got served.  Oh, it is on.
• Is this the worst miss in the history of . . . well . . . ever?
• There is only one way to follow up a miss like that . . .
• Poor form, a little rough on the landing; may have to settle for the bronze.
• The saga of Harry Baals.
• Hey Jennifer, call me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Fun (?) in the Sun

Well, we are t-minus two days from the Chief embarking on his third half marathon in a little over seven months.  He will be running the Surf City Half Marathon on Sunday down in sunny Huntington Beach, California.  And while he is not necessarily an "elite" runner, the Chief's competitive streak has been well documented on GameTime, TBD©.  So, as you can imagine, he is taking these final two days (a little too) seriously.  For example, a buddy of his who is an avid racer, including an Iron Man, once told him the key to race-day hydration is extra hydration two days prior to the race (that would be today).  So, upon entering the GameTime, TBD© office this morning, the Chief announced he would be peeing clear by noon.  [Editor's Note:  TMI? Probably.  Would you expect anything less from us?  Absolutely not.]  He informed me that today's Link Dump was completely up to me because he was going to "be drinking straight outta the Pure water machine all day."  That is putting a lot of power in my hands.  But, with great power comes great responsibility.  So here we go.

Over the past two Link Dumps, we have featured two of our favorite things as the introduction:  (1) hockey, and (b) hot chicks.  Since then, we have seen hockey viewing and our readership both increase.  Coincidence?  We think not.  And this got me thinking: "How do we build on this momentum?"  By combining the two!  Ain't that right, Boom?  

So it is with great pleasure I present to you, Marry-[Censored]-Kill:  Hockey WAG Edition.  I briefly consider M-F-K: Kings Ice Crew Edition, but realized I did not want to alienate our non-Los Angeles readership.  I must admit, it was both fun and educational preparing this introduction.  For starters, being a WAG (a common acronym for "wives and girlfriends") is much different than being a Puck Bunny; nothing good comes from calling someone a puck bunny.  And, as it turns out, there are a lot of hockey players pulling in top-notch tail.  Of course, some of the top-notch tail is more well known than others, so we focused on those women with more notoriety.  Then we narrowed down the contestants to current WAGs only, no ex-WAGs allowed (sorry Kournikova, you're out).  And after lengthy deliberations (read: Google image searches), we found our three.  So readers of GameTime, TBD©, we ask you, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Melanie Collins (ESPN's Pageviews 2.0 and girlfriend of Phoenix forward Scottie Upshall); (b) Willa Ford (singer/model and wife of Detroit forward Mike Modano); or (iii) Carrie Underwood (singer and wife of Ottawa forward Mike Fisher)?  Have fun.

While you debate the merits of these hockey WAGs, we are going to go check on the Chief to make sure his hydration is going well.  And just in case we are not back by the time you finish (hey-oh!), here are some things you might have missed from the past week:

• Askmen.com tells the world something readers of GameTime, TBD© already know:  Blake Lively is hot.
• It turns out the New York Islanders' marketing team is about as good as the hockey team.
• Hope the snow storm did not make you late to last night's Boston Bruins-Dallas Stars game.
• If your office Super Bowl squares do not turn out well (like mine), invite everyone to play a little Super Bowl Bingo.
• "You can make it with some loser you found on the Internet anytime … the Super Bowl is only once a year."  That about sums it up.
• When a quarterback in your league takes illegal funds, you drag your feet.  But when a school dares to use attractive women during national signing day, you take immediate action.  That is the SEC for you.
• Three stars for football skills, five stars for illegal procedure.
• "America, we have laws. Laws against killing, laws against stealing. And it is just accepted that as a member of American society, you will live by these laws. In [Allen], Texas, there is another society which has it's own laws. Football is a way of life."
• Everyone should feel bad for Cal Ripken, Jr. now.  [Editor's Note: here's the card.]
• Sometimes people from the South make it too easy.
• It is still real to me, damn it.

This is your "Hydration Watch 2011" update:  although the Chief still insisted on having his morning coffee, he has managed to consume eight cups of water this morning.  However, we have yet to receive confirmation that his "pee clear before noon" mission has been a success.  We will keep you updated throughout the day as this story progresses.  In the meantime, here are some videos for you to enjoy:

• Your "Sad, But True" fact of the day: we all know someone who does this dance a little too well.
• Who wants to see Bill Simmons have a fangasm over Blake Griffin?  Of course you do.
• I will go ahead and say The Weather Channel is the perfect place for Jim Cantore to be working.
• Speaking of weathermen, let us remember that they are paid to predict the weather, not count.
• What were you saying about injuries?
• In case you "happened" to miss that Croatia vs. Slovakia mens' doubles tennis match this past week, here is the highlight.
• One and done.  [Update: apparently it's one and done for 4-6 weeks...]
• Not the best time to lose an edge there, ref.
• And, of course, no Link Dump is complete without JKL's latest installment of TWIUC.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Time to Tune In

Over the next three weeks, three of the "Big Four" sports leagues will play their annual All Star Game.  Yes, I know what your are thinking right now:  "Big Four?  I only count three."  Well, shame on you.  I still consider the NHL to be part of the Big Four of sports and so should you.  Sure, whenever I say I am going to a Kings game I am bound to hear jokes like "Why would you want to go to Sacramento?" or "Wait, it's hockey season?".  [Editor's Note: man, if I wanted to hear jokes that bad, I'd just hang around the GameTime, TBD© offices all day . . . oh, wait . . .]  Yes, hockey's popularity took a brutal hit as a result of the 2004-2005 Lockout and their inability to develop stars to build the league around until Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin arrived.  [Editor's Note:  which reminds me, the folks here at GameTime, TBD© would like to say happy belated-birthday to The Great One, who turned 50 this week.]  But now it is time for you all to start tuning back in.

And there is no better time to start than tonight, when the NHL kicks off its All Star weekend.  Why, you ask?  Well for starters, the league and players decided to go old school and will let the team captains pick their own squads.  We all remember what it was like back in elementary school when teams were picked of that game of basketball or soccer.  And now, tonight, we get to watch grown men twitch, fidget, and pray that they will not be the last one picked.  And then, come Sunday, you can watch what is, hands down, the best All Star Game amongst the Big Four.  NHL players actually look forward to the All Star Game; they actually appreciate the opportunity to give back to the fans.  They are not looking for excuses to get out of it, the league has not had to make the game worth home-ice advantage come Stanley Cup finals time to make it more competitive, and it is not a defenseless score-a-thon.  Sure, there will not be any fights or thunderous checks, and scoring will be a little higher than a normal game, but I would expect that from teams consisting of players like Ovechkin, Steven Stamkos, the Ginger Sedin twins, Patrick Kane, Rick Nash, and, of course, my boy Anze Kopitar.  [Editor's Note:  for the record, the Kings deserved to have at least 3 All Stars this year, but thanks to that December/January slump (don't get me started), they were left with one.]

You know you need your weekend quota of sports, and I know you have no intention of watching the Pro Bowl.  So do yourself a favor and tune in to the NHL All Star Game festivities this weekend.  Who knows, you might finally see what you have been missing all along.  But since the fun does not start until 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time tonight, we know you are in need of something to help you get through the rest of the work day.  Ask and ye shall receive:

• If the Packers win the Super Bowl, the Detroit Lions will be able to say they beat the eventual champion.  I think that, in and of itself, is deserving of this picture.
• Speaking of the Lions, a woman has accused a Detroit Lions player of trying to be the first to score in the postseason in over a decade.
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, all those strippers that were hit hard by the recession might want to make their way to Dallas.
• As friend of the program Ballgame put it: "It doesn't win you trophies, but it wins me Fantasy Football leagues."
• Because two football teams in Los Angeles worked so well the last time, right?
• And you thought American football was overly strict with its dress code/touchdown celebrations . . .
• Are you confused by the offside rule in Soccer?  Here is a helpful analogy that will clear things right up get you fired.
• Talk about excessive foreplay . . .
• Kevin Love wants to be an all star so badly, he started a website to help his chances. [Editor's Note: make sure you watch the "The Numbers" video.]
• I am not going to lie, when I read the words "scandalous photos" and "girls' locker room", my mind may have gone a different direction.
• What?  People gave up fancy gym memberships for more cost-friendly gym memberships during the greatest recession since the Great Depression?  Get right out of town.
• As an avid blogger and message board nerd, I can definitely relate to some of this story.
• In non-sports related news, I think they would have been better served going with the volleyball scene.

In reviewing the introduction, the Chief raised an excellent point: "You know, the readers might not know what channel Versus is on their cable/satellite provider."  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of the NHL's television deals.  And while we tried to find a comprehensive listing of the Versus channels, the best we could come up with is TV Guide's listing application.  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of Versus's website and marketing.  And now that you are all prepared for this weekend's festivities, here are some videos to help kill those last few hours of your work week:

• "I RIDE THE RIDE!  I RIDE THE RIDE!"  Que the viral video.  [Editor's Note:  need YouTube account.  Normally we'd share ours but it is linked to email and this blog, so that's a no-go.]
• So much fail in so little time.
• As impressive as this is, I am pretty sure the tornado-like winds blowing into his face might have played a role.
• Nothing like adding a little insult to injury.
• I think the real highlight of this video is not the stiff jab, but rather the one mother's shock over the ejection.  Ah, youth basketball.
• Must be nice to have teammates like that, right?
• Even in mini golf, the rules require that you play it as it flies.
• Wheel of Fortune is really starting to spice things up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bank Error In Your Favor

[Editor's Note: for those of you who don't follow hockey too closely, you might not be aware that the Kings have started 2011 with a 1-5 record and have lost seven of eight dating back to late-December.  Needless to say, this has gotten the Chief in a bit of a tizzy.  His first draft of his New Year's Resolution post had to be scraped because we couldn't post something that essentially read: [censored].  We promise it's coming soon.]

There is a saying we have used frequently around these parts: "It's a competition and the Chief is in it."  Yes, those of you who have grown to love the Chief know that he is just a leeeeeeeeee-ttle bit competitive.  But what you may not know is that his competitive side is not restricted strictly to athletic competition; no sir.  If there is an activity which only ends once there is a clear-cut winner and loser, you can bet your life savings on the Chief's competitive spirit rearing its sometimes-ugly head.  Take, for example, one of the Chief's favorite board games, Monopoly.  He does not just want to have the most money when all is said and done, he wants to humiliate his opponents by having them mortgage their kids to pay off rent at his hotels.  This is a man who has researched the mathematical statistics associated with the game and has created what he believes to be the perfect strategy to effectuate a victory the likes of which we have not seen since Sherman marched to the sea.  Believe you me, if you land on New York Avenue before he does, do not buy it, lest you want to be cursed at and threatened with physical harm.  And, of course, you have not truly lived until you have seen his "Bank Error in Your Favor" dance.  Seriously, it can be like salt in the wounds.

So, what does this anecdote have to with today's Link Dump?  Pretty much nothing.  Except that today there was, in fact, a banking error in the Chief's favor.  For roughly eight hours, the Chief was pretty much the highest paid attorney (at least base salary wise) in the state of California.  That is, apparently, what happens when someone throws an extra zero at the end of a salary.  Of course, it did not take to long for the firm's CFO to figure this all out considering the firm was suddenly running low on its cash supply.  And while the Chief has generously given the necessary authority for payroll to reverse the transaction, he is still in possession of the original payroll direct deposit confirmation and intends to frame it.

Additionally, it means that we have decided to give a little "bank" error in your favor and provide you with an extended Link Dump with more stories and videos to help you get through your Friday afternoon:

• We dabble in celebrity gossip every now and then, especially when it involves an attractive female.  Well, would you look at that (headline).
• Apparently we should be attending more basketball games at University of Oregon's new Matthew Knight Arena.
• Man, Reebok totally gets it.  When I see Erin Andrews on the set of College Gameday or Good Morning America [Editor's Note: she's on GMA?], the first thing I think is "I wonder what shoes she trains in?".  Yes, that is exactly what I think. or
• This might come as a shock to many of you, but the folks here at GameTime, TBD© could be considered what some of you might call "comic book nerds".  [Editor's Note: I know, right?]  That being said, is this really happening?
• It is time to play "What famous athlete is this person related to?".  You can find your answer here.
• Freddie Mitchell, fresh off his successful retelling of his one career highlight, continues to put the word [censored] in class.
• We were sad to see that Kris Benson retired from baseball on Monday.  Why, you ask, would be we sad to see an average pitcher retire?  Because now we are less likely to see his wife, Anna Benson, in the news.
• While Ryan Howard may strike out at the plate quite often, he sure knows how to hit those random interview references out of the park.
•  Is there anything Ken Griffey's rookie card can not do?
• In case you were wondering, yes, average basketball players make far too much money in the NBA.
• ESPN has confirmed that excessive Duke ball washing will continue until at least 2015.
• Remember when the National Enquirer turned out to be right about Tiger "the Potent Putter" Woods?  They should have quit while they were ahead.
• Apparently the Philadelphia Union's new sponsor has resulted in many of their female fans feeling alienated.  I know, we were shocked to learn the Union had many female fans too.
• How dare someone destroy such a fine piece of art in what we are sure is a classy joint.

Oh man, nothing like a Saved by the Bell-related news story to raise your spirits as you head into the weekend.  You know what also helps raise our spirits?  Funny videos.  Well, would you look at that:

• What do you get when Will Arnett, Jimmy Fallon, and Horatio Sanz get together?  Pure genius.
• I am sure it is just pure coincidence that Wes Welker made ten foot references at a press conference this week . . . pure coincidence.
• 'Cuz a basketball court to the face is bad for your health.
• Wait, Dora wants to what like animals?
• Count it!
• "Katuse puhastus" is Estonian for FAIL.
• Ever wonder what it would be like to walk around a store on your phone telling someone else what the other shoppers are doing?
• We close with my two favorite commercials that are currently on television: (1) you know we love us some eTrade baby (wait, what?); and (b) "Well that's a problem, cause I like Johnny."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Attention Citizens! Attention Citizens!

The National Weather Service has issued the following weather advisory for Friday, December 17, 2010 for San Francisco, California:

"A hurricane warning advisory is now in effect for San Francisco, California until 9:00 a.m PST on Saturday, December 18, 2010.  Hurricane GameTime is expected to make landfall some time this evening around 6:30 p.m. PST with sustained winds out of the south at 0.08% or greater on the BAC meter and increasing over the course of the evening.  Visibility will be blurry, at best, and there is a significant risk of multiple blackouts."

San Francisco, you. have. been.  warned.  That is right, ladies and gentlemen, it is party time: The Chief turns THIRTY today!  And the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD© could think of no better way to celebrate than to close up shop a little early and head off to San Francisco to celebrate with all most of The Chief's best friends.  If all goes according to plan, it will be a weekend The Chief will never forget.  [Editor's Note: well . . . I guess you can't really forget what you were never able to remember in the first place, right?]

But do not think we are going to leave you hanging yet again.  [Editor's Note: the holidays have been a killer on my writing time this year...]  No way!  In fact, The Chief made us promise we would not crack open the booze until we provided you all with just what you needed on this Friday: entertainment!  And believe you me, anything thing that stands between us and some booze is something that must be taken care of.  As such, here is a special birthday edition of the Link Dump, in honor of The Chief reaching the big 3-ugh:

• There is only one way to start off The Chief's birthday Dump (say what?):  a link toone of the greatest Marisa Miller pictures ever.
• This story may be a month old, but we are hoping someone can track down the uncensored versions as a birthday present to The Chief.
• In non-sports related news, is that what they mean when they say "junk mail"?
• Unfortunately, I did not get to watch the premiere of HBO's newest 24/7 series, which leads up to the Penguins/Capitals Winter Classic meeting.  Thankfully, Justin Bourne did.
• Maybe next time the Florida Everglades (yes, that's an actual minor-league hockey team) should consult with the University of Oregon before picking their special holiday jerseys (yes, those are actual jerseys).
• Poor Tiger.  He has to spend Christmas all alone in this.
• Upon learning his season, and possibly career, are over, Yao Ming had this to say:  "Right now I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken."  Poor guy is taking it so hard.
• Oh, Donald Sterling.  Just when I thought you could not possibly be any worse as an owner, you go and do something like this . . . and totally redeem yourself!
• I might not be a Boston sports fan, but even I have to admit that this would be pretty crazy.
• Maria Sharapova's new tennis outfit is designed to offer "unrestricted mobility around the top". In other news, tennis's television ratings are expected to hit record highs next season.

It is that time of year when every news outlet and blog starts going bat-[censored] crazy with "Greatest This" and "Top That" lists.  The Chief hates these lists; they drive him nuts.  He thinks it is just lazy reporting.  But every now and then he finds one or two that he enjoys.  We present the two he found this week here:

• As annoyed as we get with all the Brett Favre coverage, no one can deny that his 297 consecutive starts was an amazing streak.  So, Time decided to take a look at "The 25 Greatest Sports Streaks".
• Who does not love a good announcing gaffe?  Well, here is one blog's look at "The Top 10 Announcing Gaffes of 2010".

Obviously, The Chief's special birthday blog has to include an extra-special video collection.  First, we thought it would be great to get a bunch of sports stars to wish him happy birthday in video form.  Well, unfortunately, it turns we do not really know a bunch of sports stars.  Go figure.  Then we thought we would just get Marisa Miller to send him a special birthday wish.  Well, as it turns out, supermodels do not really appreciate it when you just follow them around with a video camera, hiding behind cars and in the bushes outside their home.  So, one restraining order and bail money for our cameraman later, that idea was a no go as well.  But rest assured, the world got together and, as it always does, produced a solid batch of videos just for The Chief:

• I can not decide what I like more in this video, the dunk or the beard?
• It's raining teddies.  Hallelujah, it's raining teddies.  Hey, hey.
• Now this is how you wish someone a Merry Christmas!
• How do you follow up a video of a half-naked woman dancing? (I'll wait 'til you're back from that video you had just skipped . . . [checking watch] . . . are we ready?)  Why, with dogs being cute of course.
• Walk much?
• Marine karate chop, FTW!
• Yup, that just happened.
• If you post a video mocking the music of Mariah Carey, it will most definitely find its way into a Link Dump.  [Editor's Note: which reminds me . . .]
• Also, if you post a video that allows us to bring back the "Bed Intruder Song", we will post your video as well.
• Jimmy Kimmel pulled out all the stops for The Chief's birthday: "This Year in Unnecessary Censorship".

Have a great weekend everyone!