Time to Tune In

Over the next three weeks, three of the "Big Four" sports leagues will play their annual All Star Game.  Yes, I know what your are thinking right now:  "Big Four?  I only count three."  Well, shame on you.  I still consider the NHL to be part of the Big Four of sports and so should you.  Sure, whenever I say I am going to a Kings game I am bound to hear jokes like "Why would you want to go to Sacramento?" or "Wait, it's hockey season?".  [Editor's Note: man, if I wanted to hear jokes that bad, I'd just hang around the GameTime, TBD© offices all day . . . oh, wait . . .]  Yes, hockey's popularity took a brutal hit as a result of the 2004-2005 Lockout and their inability to develop stars to build the league around until Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin arrived.  [Editor's Note:  which reminds me, the folks here at GameTime, TBD© would like to say happy belated-birthday to The Great One, who turned 50 this week.]  But now it is time for you all to start tuning back in.

And there is no better time to start than tonight, when the NHL kicks off its All Star weekend.  Why, you ask?  Well for starters, the league and players decided to go old school and will let the team captains pick their own squads.  We all remember what it was like back in elementary school when teams were picked of that game of basketball or soccer.  And now, tonight, we get to watch grown men twitch, fidget, and pray that they will not be the last one picked.  And then, come Sunday, you can watch what is, hands down, the best All Star Game amongst the Big Four.  NHL players actually look forward to the All Star Game; they actually appreciate the opportunity to give back to the fans.  They are not looking for excuses to get out of it, the league has not had to make the game worth home-ice advantage come Stanley Cup finals time to make it more competitive, and it is not a defenseless score-a-thon.  Sure, there will not be any fights or thunderous checks, and scoring will be a little higher than a normal game, but I would expect that from teams consisting of players like Ovechkin, Steven Stamkos, the Ginger Sedin twins, Patrick Kane, Rick Nash, and, of course, my boy Anze Kopitar.  [Editor's Note:  for the record, the Kings deserved to have at least 3 All Stars this year, but thanks to that December/January slump (don't get me started), they were left with one.]

You know you need your weekend quota of sports, and I know you have no intention of watching the Pro Bowl.  So do yourself a favor and tune in to the NHL All Star Game festivities this weekend.  Who knows, you might finally see what you have been missing all along.  But since the fun does not start until 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time tonight, we know you are in need of something to help you get through the rest of the work day.  Ask and ye shall receive:

• If the Packers win the Super Bowl, the Detroit Lions will be able to say they beat the eventual champion.  I think that, in and of itself, is deserving of this picture.
• Speaking of the Lions, a woman has accused a Detroit Lions player of trying to be the first to score in the postseason in over a decade.
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, all those strippers that were hit hard by the recession might want to make their way to Dallas.
• As friend of the program Ballgame put it: "It doesn't win you trophies, but it wins me Fantasy Football leagues."
• Because two football teams in Los Angeles worked so well the last time, right?
• And you thought American football was overly strict with its dress code/touchdown celebrations . . .
• Are you confused by the offside rule in Soccer?  Here is a helpful analogy that will clear things right up get you fired.
• Talk about excessive foreplay . . .
• Kevin Love wants to be an all star so badly, he started a website to help his chances. [Editor's Note: make sure you watch the "The Numbers" video.]
• I am not going to lie, when I read the words "scandalous photos" and "girls' locker room", my mind may have gone a different direction.
• What?  People gave up fancy gym memberships for more cost-friendly gym memberships during the greatest recession since the Great Depression?  Get right out of town.
• As an avid blogger and message board nerd, I can definitely relate to some of this story.
• In non-sports related news, I think they would have been better served going with the volleyball scene.

In reviewing the introduction, the Chief raised an excellent point: "You know, the readers might not know what channel Versus is on their cable/satellite provider."  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of the NHL's television deals.  And while we tried to find a comprehensive listing of the Versus channels, the best we could come up with is TV Guide's listing application.  Yes, that truly is a sad commentary on the state of Versus's website and marketing.  And now that you are all prepared for this weekend's festivities, here are some videos to help kill those last few hours of your work week:

• "I RIDE THE RIDE!  I RIDE THE RIDE!"  Que the viral video.  [Editor's Note:  need YouTube account.  Normally we'd share ours but it is linked to email and this blog, so that's a no-go.]
• So much fail in so little time.
• As impressive as this is, I am pretty sure the tornado-like winds blowing into his face might have played a role.
• Nothing like adding a little insult to injury.
• I think the real highlight of this video is not the stiff jab, but rather the one mother's shock over the ejection.  Ah, youth basketball.
• Must be nice to have teammates like that, right?
• Even in mini golf, the rules require that you play it as it flies.
• Wheel of Fortune is really starting to spice things up.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rule #76

[Editor's Note:  it's Wedding Crashers day here at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  We have these days ever so often, reserved specifically for those days when the Chief is not in the best of moods.  Nothing is worse than a grumpy Chief, and thanks to the NHL and their crappy officials, that's what we're dealing with today.  Very scientific studies have shown that quoting Wedding Crashers ad nuaseum usually gets at least a laugh or two out of the big guy, so that's what we're going with.]

Sometimes there is no better way to start your Friday than with a trip down memory lane.  And this trip happens to involve a little game I am sure you are all familiar with:  Marry-[censored]-Kill.  As avid readers of GameTime, TBD©, I am sure you are all the type of people who have played it before.  If you have not . . . well . . . you should be ashamed of yourself and I will have to strongly reconsider whether you are worthy of reading this site.  But since we are trying to keep things positive for the Chief today, I will just direct you here to get a quick overview of the rules and move on.  Sure, it is a game we used to play in middle school, and usually the subjects were our teachers, school administrators, or the girls who had been deemed "unsightly" by their fellow classmates.  But every now then something happens [read: you get drunk], and you find you and your friends playing a friendly game of M-F-K just like you were twelve years old again.

Well, one of the many sports blogs we frequent during the preparation of your weekly source of entertainment [read: the Link Dump] runs a weekly M-F-K feature, and this week's was a duesy.  So much so that we thought everyone should be forced to ponder it.  So I ask you, dear readers, of the following three choices, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Marisa Miller; and (iii) Bar Refaeli?  For those of you who are frequent visitor to our little corner of the world wide web, the Chief's answer should be obvious.  His affliction for blonds, especially one in particular, means poor Ms. Refaeli has an early appointment with death, poor Ms. Decker only gets to taste the goods once, and Ms. Miller becomes Ms. GameTime, TBD© (shocking, I know).  But we are not all like the Chief, so I challenge you to drop us a line with your picks.  And remember, no matter what you decide, one of the great beauties of this generation must be sacrificed.  Rule #76:  No excuses.  Play like a champion.

Once you have finished pondering one of life's great questions, do not fear, we have more ways for you to pass the time on this beautiful Friday.  Like with these links:

• I am calling B.S. on this study, especially after reading the first summary point.  [Editor's Note: just use some basic mathematics . . .]
• Apparently Sports Illustrated thought it had been too long since they ran a piece about Lance Armstrong probably being a cheater.
• Don't waste your time on girls with [Swedish jerseys]. They tend to be very proper.
  Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the [Swedish jersey] just eye-[censored] the [censored] out of me.
• If you are in possession of a Blake Griffin rookie card, I would hold onto it for a little while longer.  Or you could just go ahead and throw it on eBay.
• Phil Mickelson is back to eating meat . . . wait, what?
• Golfer plays world record 10,800 holes in a single year. No, not that golfer.
• In need of a good laugh?  Vince Young is here to help.
• 2011 is quickly becoming the "Year of the Homeless Man".
• Looking for a little extra pick me up in your training?  Go with the deer antler velvet extract.
• Infographics are fun.
• I wonder what Will Hill's interviews will be like at the NFL combine?  [Editor's Note: language may be considered slightly offensive.]
• Get it? Get it? You see, it is funny because he is fat.
• I am not sure it was the execution that was as much the problem as the original plan.  I am just saying . . .
• Are they built for speed or comfort?
• "Many locals in the crowd showed embarrassment that two grown men should fight over something so stupid, while many teenage males egged it on, the witness said."  Are you sure they were not showing embarrassment for actually being at a lawnmower race?

Rumor has it some of you out there had an extra special Thursday night and are in no mood to be doing any work today.  [*wink*]  Well, if that is the case, you have two choices: you can either (1) make me an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field; or (b) just go ahead and check out these videos:

• EVERYBODY . . .
• If you are not watching The Onion's "Sports Dome", here is what you have been missing.  [Editor's Note: uncensored version.]
• Being from Southern California, I am not too familiar with snow plows.  But I am pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
• It takes a special kind of outburst for a coach to get a standing ovation.
• Some people find cat videos irresistibly funny.  If you are one of those people, this video is for you.
• Oh, and this one too.
• This is why Los Angeles needs a better subway system.
• Did you know the Australian Open (yes, the tennis tournament) had started?  Well, apparently it has been quite entertaining thus far.
• So, I guess we are in that whole "every major sports announcement requires a spoof of 'The Decision'" phase then?  Good to know.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bank Error In Your Favor

[Editor's Note: for those of you who don't follow hockey too closely, you might not be aware that the Kings have started 2011 with a 1-5 record and have lost seven of eight dating back to late-December.  Needless to say, this has gotten the Chief in a bit of a tizzy.  His first draft of his New Year's Resolution post had to be scraped because we couldn't post something that essentially read: [censored].  We promise it's coming soon.]

There is a saying we have used frequently around these parts: "It's a competition and the Chief is in it."  Yes, those of you who have grown to love the Chief know that he is just a leeeeeeeeee-ttle bit competitive.  But what you may not know is that his competitive side is not restricted strictly to athletic competition; no sir.  If there is an activity which only ends once there is a clear-cut winner and loser, you can bet your life savings on the Chief's competitive spirit rearing its sometimes-ugly head.  Take, for example, one of the Chief's favorite board games, Monopoly.  He does not just want to have the most money when all is said and done, he wants to humiliate his opponents by having them mortgage their kids to pay off rent at his hotels.  This is a man who has researched the mathematical statistics associated with the game and has created what he believes to be the perfect strategy to effectuate a victory the likes of which we have not seen since Sherman marched to the sea.  Believe you me, if you land on New York Avenue before he does, do not buy it, lest you want to be cursed at and threatened with physical harm.  And, of course, you have not truly lived until you have seen his "Bank Error in Your Favor" dance.  Seriously, it can be like salt in the wounds.

So, what does this anecdote have to with today's Link Dump?  Pretty much nothing.  Except that today there was, in fact, a banking error in the Chief's favor.  For roughly eight hours, the Chief was pretty much the highest paid attorney (at least base salary wise) in the state of California.  That is, apparently, what happens when someone throws an extra zero at the end of a salary.  Of course, it did not take to long for the firm's CFO to figure this all out considering the firm was suddenly running low on its cash supply.  And while the Chief has generously given the necessary authority for payroll to reverse the transaction, he is still in possession of the original payroll direct deposit confirmation and intends to frame it.

Additionally, it means that we have decided to give a little "bank" error in your favor and provide you with an extended Link Dump with more stories and videos to help you get through your Friday afternoon:

• We dabble in celebrity gossip every now and then, especially when it involves an attractive female.  Well, would you look at that (headline).
• Apparently we should be attending more basketball games at University of Oregon's new Matthew Knight Arena.
• Man, Reebok totally gets it.  When I see Erin Andrews on the set of College Gameday or Good Morning America [Editor's Note: she's on GMA?], the first thing I think is "I wonder what shoes she trains in?".  Yes, that is exactly what I think. or
• This might come as a shock to many of you, but the folks here at GameTime, TBD© could be considered what some of you might call "comic book nerds".  [Editor's Note: I know, right?]  That being said, is this really happening?
• It is time to play "What famous athlete is this person related to?".  You can find your answer here.
• Freddie Mitchell, fresh off his successful retelling of his one career highlight, continues to put the word [censored] in class.
• We were sad to see that Kris Benson retired from baseball on Monday.  Why, you ask, would be we sad to see an average pitcher retire?  Because now we are less likely to see his wife, Anna Benson, in the news.
• While Ryan Howard may strike out at the plate quite often, he sure knows how to hit those random interview references out of the park.
•  Is there anything Ken Griffey's rookie card can not do?
• In case you were wondering, yes, average basketball players make far too much money in the NBA.
• ESPN has confirmed that excessive Duke ball washing will continue until at least 2015.
• Remember when the National Enquirer turned out to be right about Tiger "the Potent Putter" Woods?  They should have quit while they were ahead.
• Apparently the Philadelphia Union's new sponsor has resulted in many of their female fans feeling alienated.  I know, we were shocked to learn the Union had many female fans too.
• How dare someone destroy such a fine piece of art in what we are sure is a classy joint.

Oh man, nothing like a Saved by the Bell-related news story to raise your spirits as you head into the weekend.  You know what also helps raise our spirits?  Funny videos.  Well, would you look at that:

• What do you get when Will Arnett, Jimmy Fallon, and Horatio Sanz get together?  Pure genius.
• I am sure it is just pure coincidence that Wes Welker made ten foot references at a press conference this week . . . pure coincidence.
• 'Cuz a basketball court to the face is bad for your health.
• Wait, Dora wants to what like animals?
• Count it!
• "Katuse puhastus" is Estonian for FAIL.
• Ever wonder what it would be like to walk around a store on your phone telling someone else what the other shoppers are doing?
• We close with my two favorite commercials that are currently on television: (1) you know we love us some eTrade baby (wait, what?); and (b) "Well that's a problem, cause I like Johnny."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Well, Hello 2011!

Welcome back everyone!  Happy New Year!  We sincerely hope you all had a happy, healthy, safe and fun 2010 holiday season.  It was a banner year at the GameTime, TBD© household, with the whole family in town for some good, old-fashioned (read: drunk) fun.

And just when we thought we had finally worked off the hangover (apparently you don't recover as fast in your 30s as you do in your 20s . . . getting old sucks . . . but I digress), the Los Angeles Kings go out there and string together five straight losses.  Nothing gets the Chief in a salty mood faster than a prolonged slump by the Kings.  Mix that together with the Chief's re-focused attitude as to weight-loss and training and, well, things have been getting a little tense around the office.  In fact, unless you are an incredibly attractive blond (read: my Better Half), you might want to avoid him until the Kings win one.  On the plus side, we are four weeks away from the Chief's next go at a half marathon, and all signs point to him peeking at just the right time.  But we do not want to share too much right now as you will get all the juicy details in our first fully-original content post of the new year, our annual New Year's Resolution post, which should be up sometime early next week.

Aside from the Kings' winless start to 2011, things have been pretty crazy around the office here to start the year.  Between technical difficulties and actual work blowing up, it has not exactly been the calm start to the new year we had become accustom to around these parts.  Yes, of course this is all code for "short introduction to our first Link Dump of the year", but rest assured we are still bringing you the goods on this, the first of fifty-two Fridays of the 2011 calendar year.  So, we are just going to stop talking (typing?) now and get to the real reason you are here:

• There is nothing like getting the year started with some perfectly-timed sports photos.
• Speaking of photos, this photo pretty much captions itself . . .
• Yes, we live in Los Angeles.  But we still appreciate great sportswriters from other cities; writers like Steve Buckley of the Boston Herald.  That is why we recommend you take a look at his most recent piece.
• Thank you Captain Obvious.
• "The habitually upbeat Carroll became agitated, however, when reporters began to question whether he had a complete understanding of how the playoff system worked, and whether, by extension, he misunderstood the entire structure of the NFL."
• Rounding is a [censored].
• He might be out of football, but Freddie Mitchell still loves him some Freddie Mitchell.  
• Every now and then we try to do something for our female readers, like by introducing them to a real winner.
• Nantz goes up for the rebound and puts it back in.
• Those Russians sure know how to celebrate a victory . . . with vodka, lots and lots of vodka.
• This (attractive) female reporter has been banned from talking smack about CR7 . . . or, at least I think that is what we were supposed to take away from this overly-dramatic female-written soccer blog.  [Editor's Note: chicks . . . (sigh).]
• The Hooters' Golf Tour (yup, a real thing) would kindly like to remind you to not pull a Johnson.
• Not going to lie, we are a little disappointed none of you gave us the heads-up.  I mean, come on, we could have taken these two jagbags.
• We could not decide whether to count this as an article or video, so we decided to put it here as the last link in the article section before moving on to videos (sneaky, right?).  So, if you have some time to spare, here are the "50 Biggest NFL Playoff Fails" . . . video style.

 If you actually clicked on that last link, went through each of the fifty fails, and watched all the videos, we are guessing you are reading this sentence on Saturday.  That is the kind of dedication we like to see around these parts.  If you did not click on that link, or did click on the link and realized it was a little overwhelming (like we did), bookmark it and watch them over the next few days when you have some down time.  I mean, there really is nothing like fifty fails to make you feel better about yourself.  Oh, and speaking of fails:

• It is the best fails of 2010.  You.  Are.  Welcome.
• I know the year is only [counting on fingers] seven days old, but is it possible that we already have our soccer fail of the year?
• And our marathon running fail of the year?
• And since we are on this negative kick (I told you the Chief was headed for a dark place), here are one hundred great movie insults to make you feel better about yourself.
• And here is the coolest fail you will ever see, compliments of the NHL.  [Editor's Note: wow, turrrrrrible pun totally intended.]
• Let us take a turn towards Positivetown with some "sick" whiffleball pitches.
• And some "extreme" shepherding.
• And, of course, there is nothing like a "This Week In Unnecessary Censorship" to bring us down the home stretch.

Once again, Happy New Year!  Have a great weekend everyone!