Gone, But Not Forgotten

[Editor's Note: yup, the bathroom scene still gets me every time.]

Summer vacation was fun while it lasted, but it feels good to be back up and running at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  After an extended break like we took, you almost forget how much fun it is to review stories and videos with an eye towards the Link Dump for Friday.  So here we are, ready to go again. [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]

I am not going to lie, I did not have a good time watching the U.S. Women's National Team lose to Japan last Sunday.  It certainly did not help in my recovery from the wedding My Better Half and I had attended the night before (I think she was still drunk during the match).  Watching that game, it was hard to believe that we were only a week removed from one of the greatest moments in soccer (of any gender) history.  [Editor's Note: still gives me chills . . .]  But while the Women's World Cup may be gone, the women of the World Cup are certainly not forgotten.  Every where you look this week, someone from the USWNT is there.  So, we figured, why not cash in on some of the hype as well?  And, well, from there, it was fairly obvious (to us at least) how best to "cash in" on said hype . . .

That is right, dear readers, it is time for the next installment of GameTime, TBD©'s favorite game, Marry-[Censored]-Kill, the USWNT Edition.  Outside of Abby Wambach and her forehead, the two other players to receive a significant amount of attention over the past three weeks were goaltender Hope Solo and striker Alex Morgan, and it was not just because of their play on the field.  [Editor's Note: that depends on what "field" you're referring to, no? BIYOMBO!]  To the surprise of many onlookers, it turned out Hope and Alex are pretty easy on the eyes (I mean just look how excited a Washington State fan got for Alex, a Berkeley alum . . . that's saying something).  So, with two of our three contestants ready for a showdown, who should join them?  I am sure there are many people out there who find Abby attractive, but short hair is not really my thing which would make the choice too obvious.  We like out competition to be stiff.  [Editor's Note: yeah we did.]  So, without a doubt, we have to go with perennial USWNT hottie Heather Mitts, who missed the 2003 and 2007 WWCs due to injury.  With that being settled, we would like to know which of these soccer ladies you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Heather Mitts; (b) Alex Morgan; and (iii) Hope Solo.

Let me begin by saying it was difficult to find comparative pictures of all the ladies.  Alex Morgan has been a sports blog-favorite for several years, so her Facebook photos have been splashed all over the internet.  And Heather Mitts has posed for the Sports IllustratedSwimsuit Issue with her husband, quaterback A.J. Feeley.  Hope, on the other, burst on to the hotness scene during the World Cup, so the options were somewhat limited for her.  That is why, in fairness to all, we went with photos from a team photo shoot.  That being said, the photos do not really do any of these ladies justice, so do yourself a favor and run a search in Google images (you know, "research" the topic).  When asked to weigh in, The Chief threw us a wild card.  We "type-cast" Mitts for The Chief, and what does he do?  He goes out there and says "It's a sad day when an attractive blond has to bite the bullet."  Apparently, there is something about Hope's new brunette look that The Chief "can't explain, but [he finds] her shockingly attractive."  Plus, friend-of-the-program Ballgame is absolutely in love with Alex and her pink sports bra, so the Chief could not possibly take her from him.  But, sleep with her once?  Eskimo Brothers it is.

It is never easy, is it?  For some of you, it might take a while to "research" the topic and mull over your options.  Others of you will probably just fire from the hip.  So, it is best that move on to the links for those of you who have already decided:

• The eighth and final season of Entourage premieres (premiered?) this week.  So, to help you get ready, here is a look back at the hottest girls from seasons one through seven.
• I must say, it is not very often that someone can upstage Kate Upton in a photo shoot.
• If you are in Boston and have seen the Stanley Cup, please notify Nathan Horton's wife.  She would like to have her day with the Cup. 
• Let us all hope that the second time is the charm for the LAPD.
• Seattle only lost by a touchdown?  Wow, looks like Pete Carroll has that team headed in . . . What is that you say? Wrong football? Oh.
• If you are interested in carrying Tiger's woods and balls, he is hiring.
• Hey Lute, ever heard of a little thing I like to call karma?
• There is nothing like a good, judicial verbal lashing that makes me proud to be an attorney.
• You stay classy, parents of twelve-year-old softball players.
• Speaking of softball, remember that one time Meatloaf was a softball coach?

Well, it appears that many of you enjoyed the video-heavy Link Dump we went with last week.  So, we figured, why not do it again?  After all, there are quite a few videos out there that we did not get a chance to post during our summer vacation.  So, here is another extra-large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure:

• A time-lapse video that is almost too beautiful to be real.  But it is.
• It was only a matter of time before Jim and Alec's rivalry affected innocent bystanders.
• I feel like Steve Nash and I would have a lot of fun together if we were friends.  Steve, consider this an open invitation.
• Chad Reed is rested and recovered after . . . oops . . . might need some more rest and recovery.
• A little rough on the landing, might have to settle for the bronze . . .
• . . . which means this guy might be out of medal contention altogether.
• The answer is no, you are not smarter than a fifth grader.
• It is nice to see J.T. feign humility for at least two second.
• Something tells me Susan Hendricks does not need dolls to mimic that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rule #76

[Editor's Note:  it's Wedding Crashers day here at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  We have these days ever so often, reserved specifically for those days when the Chief is not in the best of moods.  Nothing is worse than a grumpy Chief, and thanks to the NHL and their crappy officials, that's what we're dealing with today.  Very scientific studies have shown that quoting Wedding Crashers ad nuaseum usually gets at least a laugh or two out of the big guy, so that's what we're going with.]

Sometimes there is no better way to start your Friday than with a trip down memory lane.  And this trip happens to involve a little game I am sure you are all familiar with:  Marry-[censored]-Kill.  As avid readers of GameTime, TBD©, I am sure you are all the type of people who have played it before.  If you have not . . . well . . . you should be ashamed of yourself and I will have to strongly reconsider whether you are worthy of reading this site.  But since we are trying to keep things positive for the Chief today, I will just direct you here to get a quick overview of the rules and move on.  Sure, it is a game we used to play in middle school, and usually the subjects were our teachers, school administrators, or the girls who had been deemed "unsightly" by their fellow classmates.  But every now then something happens [read: you get drunk], and you find you and your friends playing a friendly game of M-F-K just like you were twelve years old again.

Well, one of the many sports blogs we frequent during the preparation of your weekly source of entertainment [read: the Link Dump] runs a weekly M-F-K feature, and this week's was a duesy.  So much so that we thought everyone should be forced to ponder it.  So I ask you, dear readers, of the following three choices, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Marisa Miller; and (iii) Bar Refaeli?  For those of you who are frequent visitor to our little corner of the world wide web, the Chief's answer should be obvious.  His affliction for blonds, especially one in particular, means poor Ms. Refaeli has an early appointment with death, poor Ms. Decker only gets to taste the goods once, and Ms. Miller becomes Ms. GameTime, TBD© (shocking, I know).  But we are not all like the Chief, so I challenge you to drop us a line with your picks.  And remember, no matter what you decide, one of the great beauties of this generation must be sacrificed.  Rule #76:  No excuses.  Play like a champion.

Once you have finished pondering one of life's great questions, do not fear, we have more ways for you to pass the time on this beautiful Friday.  Like with these links:

• I am calling B.S. on this study, especially after reading the first summary point.  [Editor's Note: just use some basic mathematics . . .]
• Apparently Sports Illustrated thought it had been too long since they ran a piece about Lance Armstrong probably being a cheater.
• Don't waste your time on girls with [Swedish jerseys]. They tend to be very proper.
  Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the [Swedish jersey] just eye-[censored] the [censored] out of me.
• If you are in possession of a Blake Griffin rookie card, I would hold onto it for a little while longer.  Or you could just go ahead and throw it on eBay.
• Phil Mickelson is back to eating meat . . . wait, what?
• Golfer plays world record 10,800 holes in a single year. No, not that golfer.
• In need of a good laugh?  Vince Young is here to help.
• 2011 is quickly becoming the "Year of the Homeless Man".
• Looking for a little extra pick me up in your training?  Go with the deer antler velvet extract.
• Infographics are fun.
• I wonder what Will Hill's interviews will be like at the NFL combine?  [Editor's Note: language may be considered slightly offensive.]
• Get it? Get it? You see, it is funny because he is fat.
• I am not sure it was the execution that was as much the problem as the original plan.  I am just saying . . .
• Are they built for speed or comfort?
• "Many locals in the crowd showed embarrassment that two grown men should fight over something so stupid, while many teenage males egged it on, the witness said."  Are you sure they were not showing embarrassment for actually being at a lawnmower race?

Rumor has it some of you out there had an extra special Thursday night and are in no mood to be doing any work today.  [*wink*]  Well, if that is the case, you have two choices: you can either (1) make me an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field; or (b) just go ahead and check out these videos:

• EVERYBODY . . .
• If you are not watching The Onion's "Sports Dome", here is what you have been missing.  [Editor's Note: uncensored version.]
• Being from Southern California, I am not too familiar with snow plows.  But I am pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
• It takes a special kind of outburst for a coach to get a standing ovation.
• Some people find cat videos irresistibly funny.  If you are one of those people, this video is for you.
• Oh, and this one too.
• This is why Los Angeles needs a better subway system.
• Did you know the Australian Open (yes, the tennis tournament) had started?  Well, apparently it has been quite entertaining thus far.
• So, I guess we are in that whole "every major sports announcement requires a spoof of 'The Decision'" phase then?  Good to know.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bank Error In Your Favor

[Editor's Note: for those of you who don't follow hockey too closely, you might not be aware that the Kings have started 2011 with a 1-5 record and have lost seven of eight dating back to late-December.  Needless to say, this has gotten the Chief in a bit of a tizzy.  His first draft of his New Year's Resolution post had to be scraped because we couldn't post something that essentially read: [censored].  We promise it's coming soon.]

There is a saying we have used frequently around these parts: "It's a competition and the Chief is in it."  Yes, those of you who have grown to love the Chief know that he is just a leeeeeeeeee-ttle bit competitive.  But what you may not know is that his competitive side is not restricted strictly to athletic competition; no sir.  If there is an activity which only ends once there is a clear-cut winner and loser, you can bet your life savings on the Chief's competitive spirit rearing its sometimes-ugly head.  Take, for example, one of the Chief's favorite board games, Monopoly.  He does not just want to have the most money when all is said and done, he wants to humiliate his opponents by having them mortgage their kids to pay off rent at his hotels.  This is a man who has researched the mathematical statistics associated with the game and has created what he believes to be the perfect strategy to effectuate a victory the likes of which we have not seen since Sherman marched to the sea.  Believe you me, if you land on New York Avenue before he does, do not buy it, lest you want to be cursed at and threatened with physical harm.  And, of course, you have not truly lived until you have seen his "Bank Error in Your Favor" dance.  Seriously, it can be like salt in the wounds.

So, what does this anecdote have to with today's Link Dump?  Pretty much nothing.  Except that today there was, in fact, a banking error in the Chief's favor.  For roughly eight hours, the Chief was pretty much the highest paid attorney (at least base salary wise) in the state of California.  That is, apparently, what happens when someone throws an extra zero at the end of a salary.  Of course, it did not take to long for the firm's CFO to figure this all out considering the firm was suddenly running low on its cash supply.  And while the Chief has generously given the necessary authority for payroll to reverse the transaction, he is still in possession of the original payroll direct deposit confirmation and intends to frame it.

Additionally, it means that we have decided to give a little "bank" error in your favor and provide you with an extended Link Dump with more stories and videos to help you get through your Friday afternoon:

• We dabble in celebrity gossip every now and then, especially when it involves an attractive female.  Well, would you look at that (headline).
• Apparently we should be attending more basketball games at University of Oregon's new Matthew Knight Arena.
• Man, Reebok totally gets it.  When I see Erin Andrews on the set of College Gameday or Good Morning America [Editor's Note: she's on GMA?], the first thing I think is "I wonder what shoes she trains in?".  Yes, that is exactly what I think. or
• This might come as a shock to many of you, but the folks here at GameTime, TBD© could be considered what some of you might call "comic book nerds".  [Editor's Note: I know, right?]  That being said, is this really happening?
• It is time to play "What famous athlete is this person related to?".  You can find your answer here.
• Freddie Mitchell, fresh off his successful retelling of his one career highlight, continues to put the word [censored] in class.
• We were sad to see that Kris Benson retired from baseball on Monday.  Why, you ask, would be we sad to see an average pitcher retire?  Because now we are less likely to see his wife, Anna Benson, in the news.
• While Ryan Howard may strike out at the plate quite often, he sure knows how to hit those random interview references out of the park.
•  Is there anything Ken Griffey's rookie card can not do?
• In case you were wondering, yes, average basketball players make far too much money in the NBA.
• ESPN has confirmed that excessive Duke ball washing will continue until at least 2015.
• Remember when the National Enquirer turned out to be right about Tiger "the Potent Putter" Woods?  They should have quit while they were ahead.
• Apparently the Philadelphia Union's new sponsor has resulted in many of their female fans feeling alienated.  I know, we were shocked to learn the Union had many female fans too.
• How dare someone destroy such a fine piece of art in what we are sure is a classy joint.

Oh man, nothing like a Saved by the Bell-related news story to raise your spirits as you head into the weekend.  You know what also helps raise our spirits?  Funny videos.  Well, would you look at that:

• What do you get when Will Arnett, Jimmy Fallon, and Horatio Sanz get together?  Pure genius.
• I am sure it is just pure coincidence that Wes Welker made ten foot references at a press conference this week . . . pure coincidence.
• 'Cuz a basketball court to the face is bad for your health.
• Wait, Dora wants to what like animals?
• Count it!
• "Katuse puhastus" is Estonian for FAIL.
• Ever wonder what it would be like to walk around a store on your phone telling someone else what the other shoppers are doing?
• We close with my two favorite commercials that are currently on television: (1) you know we love us some eTrade baby (wait, what?); and (b) "Well that's a problem, cause I like Johnny."

Have a great weekend everyone!

Attention Citizens! Attention Citizens!

The National Weather Service has issued the following weather advisory for Friday, December 17, 2010 for San Francisco, California:

"A hurricane warning advisory is now in effect for San Francisco, California until 9:00 a.m PST on Saturday, December 18, 2010.  Hurricane GameTime is expected to make landfall some time this evening around 6:30 p.m. PST with sustained winds out of the south at 0.08% or greater on the BAC meter and increasing over the course of the evening.  Visibility will be blurry, at best, and there is a significant risk of multiple blackouts."

San Francisco, you. have. been.  warned.  That is right, ladies and gentlemen, it is party time: The Chief turns THIRTY today!  And the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD© could think of no better way to celebrate than to close up shop a little early and head off to San Francisco to celebrate with all most of The Chief's best friends.  If all goes according to plan, it will be a weekend The Chief will never forget.  [Editor's Note: well . . . I guess you can't really forget what you were never able to remember in the first place, right?]

But do not think we are going to leave you hanging yet again.  [Editor's Note: the holidays have been a killer on my writing time this year...]  No way!  In fact, The Chief made us promise we would not crack open the booze until we provided you all with just what you needed on this Friday: entertainment!  And believe you me, anything thing that stands between us and some booze is something that must be taken care of.  As such, here is a special birthday edition of the Link Dump, in honor of The Chief reaching the big 3-ugh:

• There is only one way to start off The Chief's birthday Dump (say what?):  a link toone of the greatest Marisa Miller pictures ever.
• This story may be a month old, but we are hoping someone can track down the uncensored versions as a birthday present to The Chief.
• In non-sports related news, is that what they mean when they say "junk mail"?
• Unfortunately, I did not get to watch the premiere of HBO's newest 24/7 series, which leads up to the Penguins/Capitals Winter Classic meeting.  Thankfully, Justin Bourne did.
• Maybe next time the Florida Everglades (yes, that's an actual minor-league hockey team) should consult with the University of Oregon before picking their special holiday jerseys (yes, those are actual jerseys).
• Poor Tiger.  He has to spend Christmas all alone in this.
• Upon learning his season, and possibly career, are over, Yao Ming had this to say:  "Right now I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken."  Poor guy is taking it so hard.
• Oh, Donald Sterling.  Just when I thought you could not possibly be any worse as an owner, you go and do something like this . . . and totally redeem yourself!
• I might not be a Boston sports fan, but even I have to admit that this would be pretty crazy.
• Maria Sharapova's new tennis outfit is designed to offer "unrestricted mobility around the top". In other news, tennis's television ratings are expected to hit record highs next season.

It is that time of year when every news outlet and blog starts going bat-[censored] crazy with "Greatest This" and "Top That" lists.  The Chief hates these lists; they drive him nuts.  He thinks it is just lazy reporting.  But every now and then he finds one or two that he enjoys.  We present the two he found this week here:

• As annoyed as we get with all the Brett Favre coverage, no one can deny that his 297 consecutive starts was an amazing streak.  So, Time decided to take a look at "The 25 Greatest Sports Streaks".
• Who does not love a good announcing gaffe?  Well, here is one blog's look at "The Top 10 Announcing Gaffes of 2010".

Obviously, The Chief's special birthday blog has to include an extra-special video collection.  First, we thought it would be great to get a bunch of sports stars to wish him happy birthday in video form.  Well, unfortunately, it turns we do not really know a bunch of sports stars.  Go figure.  Then we thought we would just get Marisa Miller to send him a special birthday wish.  Well, as it turns out, supermodels do not really appreciate it when you just follow them around with a video camera, hiding behind cars and in the bushes outside their home.  So, one restraining order and bail money for our cameraman later, that idea was a no go as well.  But rest assured, the world got together and, as it always does, produced a solid batch of videos just for The Chief:

• I can not decide what I like more in this video, the dunk or the beard?
• It's raining teddies.  Hallelujah, it's raining teddies.  Hey, hey.
• Now this is how you wish someone a Merry Christmas!
• How do you follow up a video of a half-naked woman dancing? (I'll wait 'til you're back from that video you had just skipped . . . [checking watch] . . . are we ready?)  Why, with dogs being cute of course.
• Walk much?
• Marine karate chop, FTW!
• Yup, that just happened.
• If you post a video mocking the music of Mariah Carey, it will most definitely find its way into a Link Dump.  [Editor's Note: which reminds me . . .]
• Also, if you post a video that allows us to bring back the "Bed Intruder Song", we will post your video as well.
• Jimmy Kimmel pulled out all the stops for The Chief's birthday: "This Year in Unnecessary Censorship".

Have a great weekend everyone!

Worst. Relationship. Ever.

You know what a city with already ridiculous traffic congestion could really use this morning?  A visit from the President.  As such, things are running a little behind schedule this morning at the GameTime, TBD© offices and that always gets the Chief a little antsy.  But rest assured that we are operating at full capacity and are to send you off into the weekend on the right foot.

I was talking with long-time friend of the program Q early this week, and she was a little (read: a lot) distraught over her Phillies' lack luster performance in Game 4 of the National League Championship Series.  And as a tried to talk her off the ledge (trust me, as a Kings, Lions, and UCLA fan, I have plenty of experience in this area), she said something that really got me thinking: "Being a fan . . . it's like being in a relationship.  Like a complicated one.  When it's great, it's GREAT . . . when it's bad . . . oh man."  My initial response was that that was the perfect analogy.  But the more I thought about, the less I was convinced.

Let us be honest, we all have been stuck in a bad relationship at some point in our life.  [Editor's Note: if you ever want to feel better about your bad relationship, talk the Chief and you'll feel better . . . trust us.]  It is that relationship that is well past its expiration date but for some reason you keep going back for more.  It is that relationship that your friends keep begging you to end, but for some reason you do not listen to them.  You have to put in all the effort; you have to pay for everything; then, at the end of the day, you are not even sure if you are going to get any.  Did I describe your bad relationship?  Probably.  Did I also describe what it is like to be a fan?  You betcha.  Perhaps our good friend Ballgame summarized it best when he said "It's like the girlfriend who is so incredibly awesome at making out, you stick around for all the torture, just waiting for the big payday that never happens."  Does that sound like a complicated relationship?  No, that sounds like the worst. relationship. ever.  Yet here we are, still waiting for that payday that might never come.

The more we talk about this, the more we risk the Chief having some sort of 'Nam-like flashback.  Believe you me, they are never pretty.  So, I think it best we switch gears and get to the good stuff.  Here are some things you might have missed from the past week:

• I can not decide what I like more, the old guy stealing second in public or the reaction of the guys trying to document it all?
• Tiger says he is finally "at peace" with his life because . . . you know . . .  now he does not have to be worried about a wife finding out.
• Here's to you, (former-King) Matt Moulson.  A true class act.
• When I win the lottery tonight, I am buying this.
• Sasha Vujacic has certainly out-kicked his coverage.  Good for him.
• Please, Commissioner Stern, think about the agents, the entourages, and the baby mamas . . .
• MSG's loss is our gain.
• Headed to the Big House for a Michigan game?  Do not forget to pack your M16s.  
• Colts punter seeks to become the Peyton Manning of public intoxication.
• Did you win your fantasy football match-up this week because of Chris Johnson's late touchdown?  Well, apparently you have ESPN's greed to thank for that.
• Speaking of ESPN, this is the kind of publicity they always seem to love.
• Oh, wait, you strenuously deny the charges? Oh, well you must be innocent then.
• Peruvian soccer team takes the phrase "win at all costs" to the next level.

Before we get the videos, a funny story.  As we mentioned at the start of the Link Dump, the President is in Los Angeles today.  His first stop is a rally at the University of Spoiled Children here in downtown and then he has a radio interview in Glendale.  Since many of you are probably not up to date on the layout of the Los Angeles freeway system, you should know that there is only one freeway that gets you from downtown to Glendale and the surrounding area.  Well, that fact has made it quite convenient for not one, not two, not three, but six attorneys in my office to feel as though they should beat traffic and "work" from home this afternoon.  But do not fear, we know that many of you will not be bailing out early.  So here are some videos to help get you through your Friday afternoon:

• No one disputes that Rick Rypien was wrong in grabbing at a taunting fan. No one except the homer Vancouver announcers, that is.
• This seemingly innocent compilation of footage captured by sports fanatics will probably give you the sudden urge to buy rugged cameras, skateboards, snowboards, surfboards, race cars, and motocross bikes. I would warn you more, but I have stunts to practice.
• "Lincecum, [censored] yeah!"  You know, if we are not careful, people might start to think we like the Giants as well.  [Editor's Note: We DON'T! Also, video's language is NSFW.]
• Sadly, this will be the highlight of Pepperdine's basketball season. 
• Wait, this is an ad for a motorcycle insurance company? Weird, I thought it was for a new women's body wash.
• When the robots finally rise up against us, at least we will still be able to out bowl them.
• Mad Lib time: "It's been another wild season of fist-______ and hard _______ . . ."

Have a great weekend everyone!

I Went Green . . .

. . . and I liked it. As a result of some Friday night plans with the Better Half (which help to kick off my third "Weekend of Awesomeness" in the last five weekends . . . man I need to slow down), it was advantageous for me not to have a car in Downtown Los Angeles today. So, I devised a plan whereby my Better Half would drop me off at a Metro station (which, as it turns out, is not place where a lot of metrosexuals hang out . . . who knew?), and I would take the train into work and then also after work to meet up with her at our destination. So I rode the train (just like the Quad City DJs told me to), read a book along the way, and got to work surprisingly refreshed. Now, I can not say I plan to make a habit out this little adventure (and, if you know the route I had to take, it certainly can be an adventure), but I might have to start doing it every now and then for a nice relaxing morning.

So, we were conspicuously absent last week, and we apologize. For those of you who have been following this site since its early days, you know just how big of UCLA fan the Chief is. So the Chief closed down the office, packed his bags, and flew off to Austin, Texas for the UCLA-Texas game. He swore up and down that he would "finalize the Link Dump from his hotel room Friday morning." Well, that was about as likely as us winning the Mega Millions, retiring, and doing this full time. And who suffered? You, our avid readers. Rest assured, the Chief punished himself severely the rest of the weekend, and was still paying for it through about Tuesday night. And we had absolutely no intention of leaving you hanging for a second week in a row, especially when I am feeling so good.

What has got me feeling so good, you ask? Well, for those of you who have been following this site since its early days (is there an echo in here?), you know how important music is to the Chief. I have an extensive CD collection, spent more money on iTunes than I care to admit, performed for a former-President of the United States and the last General Secretary of the Soviet Union, performed in a nationally-ranked show choir, and, perhaps most importantly, met my Better Half while singing in the Glee Club at Occidental College (this one time, at choir retreat . . .). And tonight, for the first time in many years, I get to revisit where it all began . . . The Phantom of the Opera!!!!! Okay, stop laughing . . . Seriously . . . You are just being rude now . . . Finished? . . . Go ahead, get it all out . . . Okay? Good. Nearly twenty-two years (22?!?!?! Yikes!), my parents took me to see The Phantom of the Opera for the first time; tonight, I see it for the fifth time. Having all-but minored in music in college, I will be the first to admit that Andrew Lloyd Weber does not exactly write the most complex musicals. However, as a young eight-year-old boy, seeing Phantom at the Ahmanson Theatre, was my first exposure to music outside of Mom "rocking out" to oldies around the house and in the car. The lights, the performers, the costumes, the pyrotechnics, and, most of all, the music, left an indelible mark on my soul and introduced me and art form in which I could excel. And tonight, I get to sit back, relax, and enjoy that feeling once again. Only, this time, I get to share it with the person I might not have met but for that performance twenty-two years ago.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa . . . cup check (*clearing throat . . . adjusting pants*). We got a little carried away there with the personal stuff. Sorry about that. You come here for funny anecdotes, a fresh perspective, and stories about sports, not musicals and love. So let us get to the goods:

• First, we ask that you join us in a moment of silence for teenage boners around the world. . . . Thank you.
• Since he is officially divorced, it is no longer cheating. Also, can you blame him?
• YES! We are officially one step closer to ESPN8, "The Ocho".
• Speaking of Ocho, why am I not surprised something like this would happen with Ochocinco's cereal?
  
• Payback is a . . .
  
• Is it mere coincidence the number one recruit in basketball commits to Duke . . .
• . . . the same day this hits the internet?
• A case of "he-said, she-said" where he said the same thing as she said, but the prosecutor has decided to do nothing. In this case, "numerous prosecutors of both genders" ranks right up there with "don't be offended, but . . .".
  
• The hippies win again.
• "Sports don't build character, they reveal it." Well said.
• Our Little Snowflake got hurt playing football. What should we do? Sue the league and coaches of course.
• [*Dialing American Airlines reservations line*] Yes, when is your next flight to Australia? I would like to see what the Gold Coast has to offer.

Since we dropped the ball last week with the Link Dump, and since The Chief is all fired up for Phantom tonight, we decided to give you a double dose of videos this week. First up, we have the usual collection of entertaining clips you have grown to love her at GameTime, TBD©:

• This is one fall release you definitely should not miss.
• I have a feeling it will be a little while before Doug Gottlieb gets a chance to interview Jim Mora (the younger version, not the "Playoffs?" version) again.
• Jamie Pressly can clean my golf balls anytime she wants.
• So, since we dropped the ball last week [Editor's Note: must have been dirty], we have not one, but two "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" for you.
• I waited a long time for this moment: "The Greatest Reality Television Screw Up Ever".
• Three words: Mike. Tyson. Dancing.

Second, we thought we would drop some musical numbers we recently came across:

• Okay, we did not really come across this one "recently". In fact, it has been here before. But we still love it. [Editor's Note: if you're a Star Wars nerd, raise your hand (*raises hand*).]
• This one too.
• Prep school girls rocking a Dr. Dre classic.
• Yes, I was in a college a cappella group; no, we did not rock out like this. [Editor's Note: language NSFW, so close your door.]
• You want to know why I love music? People like this.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh the Madness!!!

[Editor's Note: we've been having some technical difficulties with the site over the past couple of days and few things are still not back to normal. If anything appears out of the ordinary or is not working properly, we apologize. Hopefully we'll be back up a running properly soon . . . and hopefully this Link Dump works properly.]

So, Selection Sunday is right around the corner and all the major sports media outlets have there Cinder-Bracket-Bouble-Ology-Watch-Ella stories running at full speed. As always, I am uber-excited for the tournament, especially after (knock on wood) the Bruins complete their magical run to the tournament this weekend (nothing says dominant conference like your conference tournament champion getting a 14 seed). As usual, I will be spending some of the opening weekend in Las Vegas with my friends going to some shows placing bets on random five-twelve match-ups.

But as excited as I am for Selection Sunday and the start of the Tournament, there is one thing about this time of year that gets me annoyed: all the other bracket-type features websites and blogs run this time of year. I can not tell you how many emails we get around this time of year or how many links pop up on our favorite sites directing us to some bracket trying to determine "The Greatest Sports Movie of All Time" (Caddieshack), or "The College with the Hottest Chicks" (decent), or "The Best Celebrity Couple", or, of course "The Hottest Woman" (ok, I can get behind that one . . . that's what she said . . . ba-ZING). Even How I Met Your Mother had an episode based on a bracket (but that one was totally awesome, no complaints here). I mean, look, if Sports Illustrated wants to decide the "Hottest Swimsuit Photo of All Time", you are not going to see me complaining (though, let's agree to disagree on the result . . . a fair choice, but I think a little swayed by Ms. Decker's current popularity . . . plus, the bracket lost all credibility once the editors decided to leave out this picture). But why does it have to be in bracket form and why does it have to in March? Is March "Bracket Appreciation March"? Did Congress declare March "National Bracket Month"? I mean, it is only a matter of time before someone starts up "The Best Non-NCAA Tournament Bracket" bracket (hmm . . . I could be onto something, maybe I should copyright that or something . . . anyone know a good attorney?). And then, it is only a matter of time until the whole world comes to an end, which is kind of a bummer.

I do not normally say something like this, but it should let you know just how tired of this I am: please do not send me any links to brackets. I spend a decent amount of times on sports websites and blogs, so there is a good chance (read: I guarantee) I have seen it already. I know, I know, I am not one to chastise my readers, but a man can only take so much. I hope you understand where I am coming from on this one though, and can find it in your heart to stick around as a GameTime, TBD© fan. Maybe these will help:

• If you had the Hartford Courant in the "First Paper to Run Article About How NCAA Office Pool Will Turn You Into a Degenerate" pool, please collect your winnings to the right.
• I was under the impression Tiger did not have much of an image left to manage.
  
• Jim Schwartz goes all ex-boyfriend-stalker crazy to land himself a top free agent; no complaints here.
• Yes Dan, you are just an idiot.
• Lethargy rehab? Is nothing safe from rehab theses days?
• When you are used to playing in hockey hotbeds like Raleigh and Nashville, things in D.C. can be scary.
• The Canada Post puts out amber alert on hockey cards.
  
• So, about that time you had sex with your sister . . .
• I do not know what is sodder, the fact Florida State has a "Sod Cemetery" or that someone bothered to asterisk each of the vacated wins.
• The Pinstripe Bowl? Is that really something we need?
• This year's MLB pre-season "race remarks taken out of context" are brought to you by [*spins wheel*]: Torii Hunter.
• Looks like Nails has gotten himself caught in yet another [legal] pickle.
• It must be a contract year.
• Some quick math tells me that is 1,050 per prostitute for the entire event, or thirty-five per prostitute per day. Gross.

I know what you are thinking right about now: "It's the week before the NCAA tournament. Here comes the 'UCLA comeback versus Gonzaga' video clip". Do not be silly. That clip is worthy of its own post each and every year and you can rest assured that post will come next Wednesday. In the meantime, here are some crazy-entertaining non-NCAA Tournament clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Nothing says "It's baseball season" like a bench-clearing brawl with not one, but two felony assaults.
• While Jimmy Fallon might have fallen short on his Saved by the Bell reunion efforts, he certainly knocked this one out of the park.
• And then he topped off the week with this reunion.
• My Better Half and I are visiting my Bro and SIL at the end March and we plan on seeing a Boston Bruins hockey game. We better also see this.
• Real bears playing hockey. Enough said.+
• This was an inexcusable omission from last week's Link Dump. Rest assured, we have addressed the issue and "taken care of it".
• Look at that, Heidi Montag (at least I think that's Heidi Montag) did something almost funny.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Time To Let It Out

The Chief can not decide whether he should be happy or insulted that nothing came into the GameTime, TBD© inbox inquiring about our weekly gift to the World Wide Web last week. While we are sorry we were not able to get you a Link Dump last week, Kristen Bell seemed to ease your pain nicely. But for the record, the Chief does actually agonize over the things that go on around these parts of the Internet, which is why you get the following Link Dump introduction this week:

As the deposition I [Editor's note: The Chief] was stuck on last Friday pushed on to its tenth (of 12.5 . . . happy Friday to you to) hour, I decided to zone out for a bit and take a look at some of the more recent GameTime, TBD© posts. That is when it hit me: I have really done a solid job of avoiding posting original material on here lately.

My Better Half is always trying to get me to open up more about how I am feeling, and probably for good reason. I have always played it pretty close to the chest when it comes what is going on with the big guy. I have been working on that and, while progress may be slow, it is progressing. But now I realize this same pattern of behavior has spilled over to the pages of GameTime, TBD©. You see, I started this blog for two reasons: (1) as a creative outlet from my otherwise not-so-creative-outlety job (a little mental stimulation is good for the soul), and (b) to provide the world with a little west coast regarding sports and chicks . . . but mostly sports and mostly my Los Angeles Kings. In previous years (3.5 and counting!), I was pretty successful at doing so. But that changed this year and I think I have figured out why. In previous years, the Kings were bad. And let us be honest, we are talking Whitney-Houston-Recent-Australia-Performance bad. So it was easy to make light of the situation, crack a few jokes, and tell everybody that next year is going to be different. Well, the problem is, the ever illusive "next year" has finally arrived. I have waited eight years for the "next year" to actually get here, and now that it has I have held everything in. As sad as it sounds, I have been living and dying with every game, waiting for the shoe to drop. And I have been afraid that if I start talking about it, the dream might end. But now I realize that is not fair to you, the avid reader, me, the man aging twenty years in one hockey season, or my Better Half, who nobly sits next me during every game. I also realize that I should not be afraid of what is going on, but rather, I should embrace it. So I vow to stop holding it in and finally let it out . . . as only I can (which means some pop culture references, a lot of crazy talk . . . oh, and a bunch of hot chicks). And I promise it will start with something new being produced this weekend. You. Are. Welcome.

Well, clearly I have got a lot of work to do, so I best be getting to it. So, while I go saddle up my horse (that's what she said), here are some things you might have missed from the past week or two:

• Olympians have been shown to be much more satisfied with a bronze than a silver, even though it is clearly the Jan Brady of medals.
• Note to self: Steve Williams, not a good wingman (ladies, I'm just joking . . . but seriously . . . joking . . . seriously).
• "I haven't seen Tiger since the late '90s", but that check he sent me last week to write this sure was nice.
• Bill Simmons compared Tiger's eventual comeback to that of Muhammad Ali. Want to see how it turned out?
• Here is a golf story about a girl named Kandi (yes, with a "K") and it somehow does not involve Tiger. Go figure.
• "As I stood there looking like a Roy Orbison impersonator in my specially polarized glasses, I made a mental note to call my wife and apologize for the money we'll be dropping on 3-D televisions in the next few years."
• Highlights of this story include: "DUI", "Chevrolet Equinox", "bike patrol officer", "cited and released", and "Oregon Cheerleader" . . . who can be seen here on the left.
• Kansas to Kentucky: We see your Ashley Judd, and raise you one "adult" film star.
• Perhaps the Oregon cheerleading team should steal a play out of the Texas A&M-Commerce (Casino?) football playbook.
• I do not buy it. I am fairly confident Erin Andrews is plenty used to spinning and turning in heels. [Editor's Note: Hey-OH!]
• Can someone please tell me what exactly "digital insertion with their fingers" means?
• When sports stars talk about money, it is usually just as funny as you would expect.

I always hear that "admitting you have a problem" is the first step to recovery, and I have got to tell you, I think they are right. I am super geeked right now. Just thinking about all the things I have to talk about has really got the blood flowing. Just in case those stories were not enough to get your blood flowing, these videos should help do the trick:

• My favorite part of the NFL offseason went down on Monday. Have a look.
• Wind 1, Team 0.
• Our boy from Tweet Boxx is back, but now he is laying down the law in his office. [Editor's Note: strong language.]
• I am sure by now you all know ESPN got pranked by Howard Stern's Captain Janks at Scott Van Pelt's expense. On the off chance you have not actually seen it yet, here you go.
• I think, for once, I am actually going to side with the coach.
• Douchy McDoucherson has come out of retirement . . . and he is douchier than ever.
• As my friend Barnicle put it: "It's like the best Mouse Trap game ever."

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Bar Is Open

If you are an avid reader of this fine website (and really, who isn't?), then you know that we here at GameTime, TBD© have generally tried to avoid talking about Tiger Woods and his little "situation". The Chief was of the opinion, and still is of the opinion, that something of that magnitude should not be speculated on. Do we have our theories on what really happened that night? Of course we do. But The Chief said early on that we would not talk about it until we heard something concrete from the source. Finally, we got that today and, now, the bar is open.

First things first: I do not, for one second, believe I ever "knew" Tiger Woods. With all the press and media coverage (whether wanted or unwanted) celebrities, athletes, and politicians get these days, a lot of people begin to feel like they really know all the famous people out there. News flash: you do not. You know what they are willing to show in public. Do not get me wrong, infidelity is a big . . . nay . . . HUGE no-no to me. And yes, my common decency does allow me to feel disappointed that a man who has prided himself character and integrity got himself into such a situation. But Tiger does not now, and never has owed me an apology, and he has never owed one to anyone else other than his family, Elin's family, and maybe some close friends. I appreciate what he said today, and I do believe he was as sincere and sorry as he came across as being, but it is just ridiculous that he even had to hold this press conference in the first place. The only thing I care about hearing from Tiger is (1) when he is returning to golf, (b) how much he is paying Elin to stick around, and (iii) which girl was best (kidding . . . but seriously . . . I'm just joking . . . seriously though . . .).

Which brings me to point two: now that he has had this press conference, there are still some things I am skeptical about:

(1) If Tiger is truly as angry about the rumors/lies he claims people have been spreading, why wait two and a half months to speak up? Clearly, some sort of physical altercation occurred that night, and all signs point to Elin coming out the winner. Tiger can protect her now, then, and forever, but a simple release on his website would have done that and could have done that from the very start. So no, Tiger, I do not believe your teeth look brand new simply because you have had impeccable dental hygiene over the past few months.
(B) You are in therapy (which, don't get me wrong, is great), because you got caught. We are not stupid. If the National Enquirer never runs its story, Elin never goes all Buster-Douglas-versus-Mike-Tyson on you, you are still playing golf, and probably on your second round of skanks, having played through the first eighteen holes. Sure, you may have realized the error in your ways. But have some respect for our common sense. Do not try to make me believe you would have magically come to this realization had you not gotten caught. All celebrities, athletes, and politicians play this card and it drives me nuts. Well, all except one: Michael Vick. He admitted in an interview to DP that, had he not gotten caught, he would probably still be doing the things he was doing. Now that is a man.
(III) I am not trying to open a can of worms here, but was anyone else thrown off by the performance-enhancing drugs denial? Yes, I know a story about PEDs snuck into the press cycle about a month ago, but it just struck me as odd that, in the middle his "I'm sorry I'm a man and I like sex" apology, Tiger would issue such a strong denial and then move on. I am not about to accuse the man of using them (doing so is the third rail of sports blogging), but his statement regarding PEDs really caught me off guard.

Before we get to the reason you are all really here (yes, I've accepted the fact you're here for the links and not my words of wisdom), I have one last thing to touch on. Why is it that only famous people have sex addictions? Or, more specifically, married famous people. Derek Jeter plows through more tail in the average off season than Tiger Woods has in the past few years, yet Jeter is the man and Tiger is in therapy. I understand the obvious point of Tiger being married and Jeter being single; really, I get it. But find me a man who says he does not like sex and I will gladly call him a liar to his face. I am sure my Better Half is going give the business tonight (baZING) about the actual medical side of addictions and why, yes, it is possible, but I can not help but feel a little suspect about the whole thing when the only time I hear about sex addiction is when someone famous gets caught straying from his marriage.

With that, I hope we, as a society (but mostly the media) can all move on now. To show you just how ready and willing I am to move on, here are two three Tiger-related and several non-Tiger-related things you might have missed from the week:

• "Why don't you try reading the rules, Skankapotamus."
• In case you missed it, Tiger had a second press conference immediately after the first.
• Look at that, Bill Simmons did not buy it either.
  
• "Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmmm, capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!"
• Taking a brief time out for a serious note: the GameTime, TBD© family's thoughts and prayers go out to a great NBA coach and his family.
• Askmen.com put together a list of the "Top 10 Las Vegas Sporting Experiences". The list loses all credibility at Number 8, which clearly is Number 1.
• Mark McGwire would like you to remember he is not here to talk about the past.
• Attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft AND resisting a public officer? [*commencing slow clap*]
• Apparently robbing two people and swimming naked is a crime. Go figure.
  
• No, no Tony, tell us how you really feel.
• It takes a certain kind of person (white trash?) to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs; a type of person the TSA at Philadelphia airport would call a terrorist.
• T.O. likes to do his little on thing on the catwalk.
• Ladies, I hope you are ready for the most uncomfortably loud mani-pedi ever.
  

Is it just me, or is it kind of ridiculous how worked up everyone is getting over NBC's coverage of the Winter Olympics? Yes, I understand, for the first time in eight years, everything is happening in a very convenient time zone. But should we not be used to everything being taped delayed? Is it really that big of deal? I knew the results of the amazing 4x100 freestyle relay race at the 2008 Summer Olympics before I saw it, but that did not change how excited I got watching it. Do I wish I could ditch work and spend all day watching the Olympics? Of course, I do. But I can not. And most of the people complaining probably can not either. And to prove to you just how entertaining taped-delayed video can be, here are this week's clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Happy Friday! [Editor's Note: Is that the Sanchize?]
• How on Earth did this song not go big?
  
• Does anyone know when the funeral services are for the staffer who failed to tell Oprah about the birth mark?
• Last week, it was a great moment from The Price is Right. This week: Jeopardy.
• Word to the wise: When a (possibly racist) 67-year-old man wearing an "I AM a motherf****r" t-shirt gives you guff on an Oakland bus, just let it go. [Editor's Note: language is super NSFW.]
• Did you know Johnny Weir has his own television show? UH-mazing!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Great Googly Moogly

We are running a little behind schedule this morning (borderline afternoon), but that is not going to stop us from getting some entertainment headed your direction. No judge, no matter how long-winded or how meticulous, is going to stop GameTime, TBD© from getting you your weekly source of entertainment, or as you call it, the Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said.], a brief comment on the Pacific 10 Men's Basketball Conference . . . or as I now call it, the Wac-10. The Wac-10 is appropriate for two reasons: (1) I think any team from the Western Athletic Conference (the actual WAC conference) could compete in the Pac-10 this season; and (b) things have gotten just down right wacky in the conference this season. Everyone (and their mother) knew the Pac-10 was going to have a down year in terms of overall performance, but no one knew it was going to get this bad. The conference is a combined 5-13 against AP Top 25 teams this year and all teams are within two games of the conference lead. California and Arizona State (really?) are tied for the league lead and Washington, the preseason favorite to essentially runaway with the league, is struggling at 3-4 in the league after last nights last-second loss to UCLA. Oh, UCLA.

It seems like only yesterday you were playing in your third-straight Final Four. After watching you struggle through your non-conference schedule (5-7), you started Pac-10 play with a surprising win over Arizona State. Then you got blown out by Arizona, and that pattern has continued; a nice win in your mid-week game, a blow out loss on the weekend. Yet I can not quit you. At 3-3 in the conference, you are right there in the mix. Now if only you would string a few nice games together with, oh, I do not know, a little effort. You might be surprised at the result.

So with that being said, I encourage you to follow the Wac-10 for the rest of the season. Not because of the great basketball you are going to see, but rather because of just how crazy-bad things are. But before you go boning (hehehe . . . bone) up on your Wac-10 information, feel free to check out some things you might have missed:

• In non-sports related [read: hot-chick related] news, the world was rocked by news that Marisa Miller would parting ways with Victoria's Secret. Thankfully, Victoria has since stated the story is false. What would we have done without this?
• I did not realize "ambiguous sexual characteristics" required the creation of "special medical centers". I thought the five o'clock shadow (amongst other "things") usually gave it away.
  
• Are you ready for the AFC and NFC championships? The Sports Guy certainly is.
• You too can see JaMarcus Russell's c-cups for just a handful of beads.
  
• Hey Rueben, how have you been spending your time since being cut by the Giants? Oh, I see.
• With all the "hostess" hoopla going on in the SEC, Mississippi State is going a different route to attract recruits. [Editor's Note: sorry in advance for the picture.]
  
• I really wish this was a link to a story by The Onion. Sadly, it is not.
• While most Major League Baseball players are trying to get off the juice, Miguel Cabrera is trying to get off the sauce.
• Maybe he can get together with Hammer.
• Sportsmanship at its finest . . . if by finest you mean fouling the other team to keep the clock from running so you can still reach one hundred points. Karma's a bitch.
  

Sorry we are a little light on links this week. Between running behind and the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is football, things were a little scarce in the creativity and humor department. So, in our infinite wisdom (someone's got to have some, right?), we have decided to give an extra large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure on this very wet Friday:

• John Daly (looking svelte as ever my man) weighs in on Tiger Woods 'cause . . . well . . . why not?
• This was the "Highlight of the Night" on Sports Centre . . . no, that is not a typo.
  
• You know that we are a suckers for a good nut shot . . . no matter how long ago it occurred.
  
• Could 2010 be the year of win? . . .
  
• . . . Guess not. Remember kids, crack kills.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, it is good remember the great moments we are likely to see (besides wardrobe malfunctions of course).
• David Letterman proves yet again he is his writers are still the funniest in late night television [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch Coco's final show on NBC tonight.]
• Speaking of Coco, he is on a mission to spend as much money as possible during his final week at NBC. Here are attempts one and two.

Have a great weekend everyone!