The Bar Is Open

If you are an avid reader of this fine website (and really, who isn't?), then you know that we here at GameTime, TBD© have generally tried to avoid talking about Tiger Woods and his little "situation". The Chief was of the opinion, and still is of the opinion, that something of that magnitude should not be speculated on. Do we have our theories on what really happened that night? Of course we do. But The Chief said early on that we would not talk about it until we heard something concrete from the source. Finally, we got that today and, now, the bar is open.

First things first: I do not, for one second, believe I ever "knew" Tiger Woods. With all the press and media coverage (whether wanted or unwanted) celebrities, athletes, and politicians get these days, a lot of people begin to feel like they really know all the famous people out there. News flash: you do not. You know what they are willing to show in public. Do not get me wrong, infidelity is a big . . . nay . . . HUGE no-no to me. And yes, my common decency does allow me to feel disappointed that a man who has prided himself character and integrity got himself into such a situation. But Tiger does not now, and never has owed me an apology, and he has never owed one to anyone else other than his family, Elin's family, and maybe some close friends. I appreciate what he said today, and I do believe he was as sincere and sorry as he came across as being, but it is just ridiculous that he even had to hold this press conference in the first place. The only thing I care about hearing from Tiger is (1) when he is returning to golf, (b) how much he is paying Elin to stick around, and (iii) which girl was best (kidding . . . but seriously . . . I'm just joking . . . seriously though . . .).

Which brings me to point two: now that he has had this press conference, there are still some things I am skeptical about:

(1) If Tiger is truly as angry about the rumors/lies he claims people have been spreading, why wait two and a half months to speak up? Clearly, some sort of physical altercation occurred that night, and all signs point to Elin coming out the winner. Tiger can protect her now, then, and forever, but a simple release on his website would have done that and could have done that from the very start. So no, Tiger, I do not believe your teeth look brand new simply because you have had impeccable dental hygiene over the past few months.
(B) You are in therapy (which, don't get me wrong, is great), because you got caught. We are not stupid. If the National Enquirer never runs its story, Elin never goes all Buster-Douglas-versus-Mike-Tyson on you, you are still playing golf, and probably on your second round of skanks, having played through the first eighteen holes. Sure, you may have realized the error in your ways. But have some respect for our common sense. Do not try to make me believe you would have magically come to this realization had you not gotten caught. All celebrities, athletes, and politicians play this card and it drives me nuts. Well, all except one: Michael Vick. He admitted in an interview to DP that, had he not gotten caught, he would probably still be doing the things he was doing. Now that is a man.
(III) I am not trying to open a can of worms here, but was anyone else thrown off by the performance-enhancing drugs denial? Yes, I know a story about PEDs snuck into the press cycle about a month ago, but it just struck me as odd that, in the middle his "I'm sorry I'm a man and I like sex" apology, Tiger would issue such a strong denial and then move on. I am not about to accuse the man of using them (doing so is the third rail of sports blogging), but his statement regarding PEDs really caught me off guard.

Before we get to the reason you are all really here (yes, I've accepted the fact you're here for the links and not my words of wisdom), I have one last thing to touch on. Why is it that only famous people have sex addictions? Or, more specifically, married famous people. Derek Jeter plows through more tail in the average off season than Tiger Woods has in the past few years, yet Jeter is the man and Tiger is in therapy. I understand the obvious point of Tiger being married and Jeter being single; really, I get it. But find me a man who says he does not like sex and I will gladly call him a liar to his face. I am sure my Better Half is going give the business tonight (baZING) about the actual medical side of addictions and why, yes, it is possible, but I can not help but feel a little suspect about the whole thing when the only time I hear about sex addiction is when someone famous gets caught straying from his marriage.

With that, I hope we, as a society (but mostly the media) can all move on now. To show you just how ready and willing I am to move on, here are two three Tiger-related and several non-Tiger-related things you might have missed from the week:

• "Why don't you try reading the rules, Skankapotamus."
• In case you missed it, Tiger had a second press conference immediately after the first.
• Look at that, Bill Simmons did not buy it either.
  
• "Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmmm, capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!"
• Taking a brief time out for a serious note: the GameTime, TBD© family's thoughts and prayers go out to a great NBA coach and his family.
• Askmen.com put together a list of the "Top 10 Las Vegas Sporting Experiences". The list loses all credibility at Number 8, which clearly is Number 1.
• Mark McGwire would like you to remember he is not here to talk about the past.
• Attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft AND resisting a public officer? [*commencing slow clap*]
• Apparently robbing two people and swimming naked is a crime. Go figure.
  
• No, no Tony, tell us how you really feel.
• It takes a certain kind of person (white trash?) to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs; a type of person the TSA at Philadelphia airport would call a terrorist.
• T.O. likes to do his little on thing on the catwalk.
• Ladies, I hope you are ready for the most uncomfortably loud mani-pedi ever.
  

Is it just me, or is it kind of ridiculous how worked up everyone is getting over NBC's coverage of the Winter Olympics? Yes, I understand, for the first time in eight years, everything is happening in a very convenient time zone. But should we not be used to everything being taped delayed? Is it really that big of deal? I knew the results of the amazing 4x100 freestyle relay race at the 2008 Summer Olympics before I saw it, but that did not change how excited I got watching it. Do I wish I could ditch work and spend all day watching the Olympics? Of course, I do. But I can not. And most of the people complaining probably can not either. And to prove to you just how entertaining taped-delayed video can be, here are this week's clips for your viewing pleasure:

• Happy Friday! [Editor's Note: Is that the Sanchize?]
• How on Earth did this song not go big?
  
• Does anyone know when the funeral services are for the staffer who failed to tell Oprah about the birth mark?
• Last week, it was a great moment from The Price is Right. This week: Jeopardy.
• Word to the wise: When a (possibly racist) 67-year-old man wearing an "I AM a motherf****r" t-shirt gives you guff on an Oakland bus, just let it go. [Editor's Note: language is super NSFW.]
• Did you know Johnny Weir has his own television show? UH-mazing!

Have a great weekend everyone!