Failville, Population Fail

It has been a pretty quiet week around the GameTime, TBD© offices, what with the Los Angeles Kings' season coming to an end this past night.  The Chief is clearly still in mourning.  Just not himself.  I mean, the "brain trust" is out for the day and he still says he has "things to get done for the end of the month."  Clearly, he is taking this harder than we expected.

And, well, all you people telling the Chief that there are plenty of seats available on the Canucks and/or Sharks' bandwagons are not doing us any favors.  I mean, really, you think the Chief is going throw his support behind the last two teams to eliminate his Kings from playoffs?  The Chief has asked one Ms. Kristen Bell to respond to these offers on his behalf:

That is correct, [censored] you.  Go Preds!

Now, if you have not figured it out by now, we will not be having a full Link Dump again this week.  Yes, that makes two in a row, a losing streak.  But we do, however, have a little story to share regarding an internet sensation that developed right under our noses.  If you head to YouTube and search "double dream hands", you are going to find a series of videos parodying a white guy doing a dance he calls "Double Dream Hands".  Some of you might have already done this and be well aware of what we are talking about.  That man is John Jacobson, and the dance is absolutely real.  How do I know this you ask?  

Well, you may recall that one time the Chief revealed that little secret about him being part of a nationally-ranked show choir back when he was in high school.  But the choir was not just about crushing opponents left and right in competitions across the country.  They also participated in many events for the children in the community, and donated their time to some charities.  One such charity is called America Sings!, which is a non-profit organization that puts on non-competitive choral festivals to help raise food, clothing, and money for disadvantaged children across the country.  Well, American Sings! was founded by a composer, arranger, choreographer, and 2008 Congressional candidate; one John Jacobson.    That is right, my dear readers, your beloved Chief has met, learned choreography from, and performed on stage with Mr. Double Dream Hands himself . . . on several occasions.  So, for your viewing pleasure, we present you two original John Jacobson productions:

• The dance that started it all, the original Double Dream Hands for all of you to learn and love.
• To easy? Well, now you can rock out with Double Dream Feet.  You. Are. Welcome.

The Chief informs us that they always learned the necessary choreography over the course of a sixteen-hour, two-day weekend event with Mr. Jacobson, months before America Sings! came to town.  Pretty much the ideal weekend for your average high school student, right?  Do yourself a favor and check out some of the YouTube parodies, they are pretty solid.  And check out the clips with Ellen Degeneres as well, classic.  But do not think those are the only things we have in store for your viewing enjoyment today.  In addition to Kristen Bell rocking the black-bra-under-white-shirt look (hot, right?), and John Jacobson making you want to stand up and dance in your office or cubicle (hot, right?), we have a few extra nuggets for you:

• I do not know about you, but I always feel good just getting past "ping, pong, rally, on."  So I guess that makes this pretty impressive.
• This interview pretty much confirms everything we expected about Hollywood screenwriters.
• Oh Martin, you will always be Ned Nederlander to me.
• I guarantee you this is not the first time Melanie Collins has been invited to watch someone do their business.
• You can bet the Chief was in need of necessary censorship on Monday night.

We will do our best to get the Chief back in shape by Monday.  In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!

Just One of Those Days . . .

Well, this happened last night and, not surprisingly, the Chief called in "sick" this morning.  He told us to close up shop earlier because it is Good Friday and "apparently that's some sort of holiday that people use as an excuse to leave work early."  Far be it from us to argue with a man telling us to go home early.

That being said, he demanded we not get too lazy and "make sure [we] send all of GameTime, TBD©'s avid readers off with a little treat for the holiday weekend."  I am not completely clear on what he meant by treat, but I am going to guess he meant this:

 

 Ah, Marisa, welcome back.  It has been far too long.  The picture was posted to her blog as a "sneak peek" of a recent photo shoot she did.  She does not reveal what shoot it was, but she casually mentions "I haven’t done something this sexy in a while."  Needless to say, we can not wait to see what the rest of the shoot looked like.  That being said, I am definitely going to try to convince my Better Half that she should be lounging around the house in high heels and her underwear from now on.  That should go well.

Also, our original intention with our "little treat" was to find a picture of an attractive female wearing a Kings jersey to remind the Chief that at least something good can come from wearing the uniform, but our search went about as well as Jonathan Quick stopped pucks over these past two games.  So, it you are an attractive female looking for more exposure, you should totally email or tweet us a picture of you in a Kings jersey and help make the Chief feel a little better.

Last, but certainly not least, do not think we would dare consider sending you off without at least a few clips for your viewing pleasure.  This is, after all, a civilized blog.  So:

• Esquire has put together a list of fifty songs all guys should know.  And to help you remember them, they enlisted Glee's Heather Morris to dance to them. So, now when you are asked what song was your favorite, you can respond "Huh? Songs?"
• Can you tell me how to get to Houston Street?
• I think Brian Wilson's beard ranks second on my list of "Most Distracting Things in the World".
• [*Mortal Kombat voice*] Flawless victory.
• Cause, you know, the blue blends right in with the ice . . .
• Note to self: Sarah Palin will not give sympathy BJs to the Democrats.

Have a great weekend everyone!

One Game Down, Down One Game

Here are some of things we learned from last night's opener of the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Shark's playoff series:

1. The Kings are down one game to none.
2. It is going to be a great series.
3. Thirty seconds into the game, My Better Half had the nerve to say: "They're good.  I mean, no offense, but that was a nice play."
4. According to random homeless guys in San Francisco, "75% of teams that have won the Stanley Cup lost game 1."*
5. There is a very real possibility that the Chief can not be friends with any of his friends/family members who are San Jose Sharks fans for the next two weeks, give or take a couple of days.  The real question is: will they want to be friends with him when it is all said and done? Mostly said though . . . 
6. Three twenty-two ounce beers with an alcohol-by-volume of 9.5% or more will render a grown man relatively useless the next day.

Indeed, the Chief walked into to work looking like a man whose team lost an overtime playoff game last night.  It truly was a sight to be seen.  When asked for comment on the game he responded: "Shhhhh, do you have to yell?  I'm right here."  I guess the body does not recover like it used to when you are an old man.  And then I had to do something I am not proud of.  I said: "Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!"

His first look made me think I was going to lose my job.  But then we caught a glimpse of the Chief we all know and love.  He chugged his venti coffee, took a deep breath, and gave us his analysis.  He was pleased with the Kings effort, blah, blah, blah.  Glad they did not get down on themselves after giving up that early goal, yada, yada, yada.  And then he touched the third rail, saying "there is no way that Jarret Stoll should be suspended for the second game", which is a rumor circulating on Twitter right now.  He claims to have watched the hit one hundred times since the game ended (we wouldn't doubt him), and he maintains that it was an unfortunate result of Ian White being in a bad position at the time of the hit.  It is unfortunate when a play like that ends in an injury, but Stoll is not a dirty player.  That being said, the NHL, like every other league, is trying to crack down on "hits to the head" and I would not be surprised if the league sat Stoll for a game.  The Chief acknowledged he would not be surprised if that happened either but maintained his position that it was not warranted and also pointed out that, "if Stoll is suspended for one game, then Sharks defenseman Jason Demers should sit for a game for his non-penalized hit on Ryan Smyth.  Last time I checked, leaving your feet is charging, and throwing an elbow at a player's head would seem to constitute a 'hit to the head' in my book.  The only difference I can see is that Smyth was not hurt on the play while White was."  Pretty impressive that the Chief can link to sources while talking, is it not?  Oh, and he makes a decent point too.

And to prove that the Chief we know and love is still in there, he finished with "Now, get that Link Dump done so we can go grab some beer and wings; I could really use a little hair of the dog."  Ask and ye shall receive:

• Allow us to introduce you to the sport of Hurling with such phrases as "fractured eye socket," "had the finger reattached," and "shattered one testicle, had to have half the second removed".
• "Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi." 
• Major League Baseball looks at the data and discovers that, apparently, high-definition television are not going anywhere anytime soon.
• Your "Uplifting Story of the Week": prognosis good for partially-paralyzed outfielder.
• Hmm . . . did I ever bet on a University of San Diego basketball game?
• But what happens to the statue when he has to return the Heisman in two years?
• NFL Network trades Joe Theismann and Matt Millen for Mike Mayock and an announcer to be named later. 
• Did you mean "train wreck", Matt?
• Want to miss the cut at the Masters?  This yardage book should help.
• Speaking of missing the cut, I am going to go out on a limb and say it will take an impressive second round out of Kevin Na for him to make the cut after this. 
• I would not mind having Sophie Horn in my next foursome . . . wait, what?
• Should be much easier for Mike Tyson to eat those children now.
• Clijsters got hurt how?
• British courts are not afraid to order gagging as part of affairs? Kinky.
• Taking the phrase "sex sells" to a whole new level.

So, anyone interested in joining us for beer, wings, and whatever sports happen to be on television right now?  Ha, trick question.  You are all too busy reading this Link Dump, enjoying those links above, and getting ready to enjoy the videos.  But, if you would like to join us, drop us a line . . . once you have watched these:

• Have you watched the intro video to Kate Upton's website?  No?  You. Are. Welcome.
• Am I supposed to be surprised an unmanned tractor wreaked havoc in a Walmart parking lot?  
• Good to see the Royals organization's ability to fail extends beyond just their baseball team.
• As the title of the video suggests, is this even human?
• If you missed the first episode of Norm McDonald's new sports show (conveniently titled "Sports Show with Norm McDonald"), then you missed this.
• And if you missed opening day at Wrigley Field, then you missed this.  Of course, you might just have been too drunk to remember.
• Sounds like Mayor Viaragosa has some interesting plans for Los Angeles moving forward.  

Have a great weekend everyone!


*No homeless people were hurt in the making of this blog.

The Deuces are Wild

With the exception of the Chief's little "experiment", we do not really care too much about the baseball season.  That being said, being from Los Angeles, one of the few things we truly enjoy about the long season is listening to a game being called by the legendary Vin Scully.  Sure, he might have lost it a bit in these last few seasons, but there is something about the way he seems genuinely excited to be at the ballpark everyday.  And of course, there are all his predictable catch phrases.  Though he is no Jim Brockmire when it comes to catch phrases, if there are two balls, two strikes, and two outs in the inning, you know Vin is going to drop "The deuces are wild".  And if there is a runner on third, you can bet he will ask "Begs the question, how many wild pitches has [insert pitcher here] thrown?"  It is like clockwork; and we love it.

A significant percentage of our readership has recently contacted us regarding the content of our site.  While these readers continue to appreciate their Friday entertainment, they are concerned that (1) there has not been a lot of any original content recently, and (b) there has been a heavy dose women.  As it turns out, we have a solid female readership that actually enjoys our perspective on things other then women.  Who knew?  So all this begs the question, what ever happened to that blog dedicated to sports and life?

Well, the Chief dropped a tablet of truth this morning and here it is: the Chief feels like he has lost his "voice" and has gotten a little gun shy.  And once he got that feeling that his "voice" was gone, he fell back on one of the easier topics to cover: attractive women.  When dealing with attractive women, writing takes a back seat.  All you have to do is link to a picture and let it do all the work.  It was a quick and easy solution for the guy who lost his confidence.  Sure, he had to try and find a way to make the ladies relevant to the here and the now, but, as you can see, that was not really that difficult.  Having taken a good, hard look at himself in the mirror this morning, the Chief decided it was time to get back in the saddle.  And there is no day like today, the start of the Los Angeles Kings' first-round playoff series, to do just that.  You did not actually think we were going to spend an entire post talking about baseball, did you?

I am a firm believer that patterns play an integral role in the sports world, and when you look at the Kings over the last two weeks of the regular season, you see one: the deuces are wild.  Heading into to the final two weeks of the season, the Kings were on a tear, having gone 19-4-5 over a span of twenty-eight games and surged into contention for home-ice in the opening round of the playoffs.  In game twenty-six of that the stretch, they lost Justin Williams, their second-leading scorer, to a dislocated shoulder.  Two games later, they lost Anze Kopitar, their leading scorer, to torn tendons in his ankle, which required surgery.  Two games, top two offensive weapons gone, in the tightest playoff race the Western Conference had seen in recent memory.  Yup, that is pretty much the worst thing that could happen to the Kings.

Over the final two weeks of the season, the Kings played seven games against Western Conference opponents, the final five against division rivals.  Over those seven games without their top two scores, the Kings scored more than two goals once.  They did manage to win three of those games thanks to solid goaltending from the two Jonathans, Quick and Bernier.  When the Kings finally clinched a playoff spot with their April 6th win over Phoenix, they had two games left and needed only two points to clinch the fourth seed in the West and secure home-ice advantage in the first round.  Sadly, the Kings lost both of the games by scoring a combined two goals and dropped to seventh in the Western Conference heading in the playoffs.

That brings us to today, when the Kings begin their opening-round playoff series against the second-seeded San Jose Sharks at HP Pavilion.  Like most Kings fans, my dreams of a deep playoff run were crushed when it was announced that Kopitar needed surgery and was out indefinitely.  And sliding all the way down to seventh did nothing to ease my fears of not advancing to the second round.  For starters, the Sharks have quietly been one of the best teams in the league all season.  Their offense is led by two thirty-goal scorers, including Patrick Marleau who has absolutely destroyed the Kings throughout his career.  More over, the Sharks had the second-ranked power play during the regular season, going off at a 23.5% efficiency.  Ouch.

But while I began my outline of this post expecting to write about the absolutely dismantling the Kings were going to face at the hands of the Sharks, the numbers (other than all those twos) started to tell a little different story.  For starters, the Kings did post their second-straight forty-win season and reached the playoffs for the second straight year after an eight-year drought.  And, it was announced yesterday that Williams will be back for tonight's game, a much needed boost to the Kings stagnant offense (though, I would have also liked to see the Kings recall über-prospect Brayden Schenn after his QMJHL team was eliminated from the playoffs, but that doesn't seem to be happening now).  That being said, Williams will have to pick up his offensive production against the Sharks, having registered only two assists in the four games he played against San Jose this season.  More importantly, it turns out the Sharks had done an impressive job shutting down Kopitar this season, holding him to four assists in the five games he played.  Against the Sharks, the Kings have been led offensively by captain Dustin Brown (4 goals, 1 assist) and veteran winger Ryan Smyth (2 goals, 1 assist), both of whom are healthy and ready to go.  And while the Sharks may have the second-best power play and sixth-best offense in the league, the Kings have the fourth-best penalty kill and sixth-best defense in the league.  And though the Kings ranked only twenty-first on the power play (16.2%), the Sharks ranked twenty-fourth (79.4%) on the penalty kill.  They say that special teams are an important part of winning a playoff series, and San Jose's strengths and weaknesses on special teams match up perfectly to those of the Kings.  When compared to the other Western Conference playoff teams, the Shark's offense-first mentality may just be the ideal match-up for the Kings and their defense-first mentality.

So where do all these numbers leave us?  There is no denying that the Kings are facing an uphill battle just to advance to the second round this year.  While the return of Williams should help a struggling offense, they still lack a true offensive leader with Kopitar out.  But if the Kings can manage to light lamp more then once a game, and play responsibly in the defensive zone (staying in position, clean breakouts of their zone, and not taking silly penalties), it is not too far fetched to see Jonathan Quick take care of business in net and lead the Kings past a team with a long history of playoff failures.  Surprising the Sharks and taking game one tonight would be a big step in that direction.

And while my heart still only sees the Kings raising Lord Stanley's Cup come June, my brain tells a different story. It says the Sharks take the series in six.  However, win or lose, you can expect this series will take at least two years off my life.

Go Kings Go!

In the Dark, There Is Light

As you may recall from last week's Link Dump, the Chief decided to run a little "investment" experiment with the Red Sox.  Something about betting on them to win every game I think.  In that gem of a post, he provided the following commentary:  "Worst case scenario, Red Sox start the season in a slump and early profits are not high enough to offset the losses and the nest egg dries up."  For those of you following along at home, the Red Sox have yet to win a game.  Ouch.

But the night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promised the Chief, the dawn is coming.  For starters, the "brain trust" is out today, so the Chief has already lined up wings, beer, The Masters, and the late innings of the Red Sox/Yankees game during his lunch hour.  By my calculation, that right there gives the Chief more wins than the Red Sox.

And then we thought we would help cheer up the Chief a little more with one of his favorite things: attractive women.  The Chief's dad is a very successful businessman and his role model (bare with us, we're getting to the ladies).  One strategy the Chief learned from his dad, and which he has incorporated into his running of this website, is how to make people feel like they are making decisions while actually doing what he wants.  He is sneaky like that.  It goes like this: (1) the Chief asks you your opinion on what should be done; (b) the Chief "thinks about" the options he was presented; (iii) the Chief chooses his idea.  To top it off, he is so polite about it, you do not even realize he has totally disregarded everything you said until much later.  So, what does this have to do with attractive women you ask?  Simple.  In our March Madness Link Dump, we mentioned Esquire magazine was asking its readers to help it select 2011's "Sexiest Woman Alive".  It is the second straight year they have run this NCAA tournament-style bracket.  So, in April of 2010, the readers voted Brooklyn Decker the Sexiest Woman Alive.  Not our top choice, but we would hardly complain.  And what did Esquire do? They stole a play straight out of the Chief's playbook and, in November of 2010, declared Minka Kelly the Sexiest Woman Alive.  So, this year, when they ran the 2011 "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket, they made the slight change of asking readers to help determine "your" (the reader's) Sexiest Woman Alive, meaning that, come November, we can expect them to tell us who they think the Sexiest Woman Alive is.  So, even though 30 Rock hottie Katrina Bowden pulled off the upset over defending champion Decker, we can expect someone new in November.

Now, about those attractive women.  If you have not already noticed, what we did right there is list three women; three women that, within the last twelve month, have all been named the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire.  And when there are three women in play, there is only one thing for us to do.  That is right, dear readers, it is time for GameTime, TBD©'s next installment of M-F-K: the Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Edition.  So, we would like to know who of these sexy ladies you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Minka Kelly; and (iii) Katrina Bowden.

While the Chief mulls over his options, here are some things you might have missed from the previous week:

• Some people have a lot of extra time on their hands.  We here at GameTime, TBD© appreciate when they put that extra time to good use.
• Now THIS is customer service.
• New season, new foods to take years off your life.
• Troy Tulowitzki continues to be baseball's MVP of walk-up music.
• If you are a fan of the giveaways, mark these dates on your calendar.
• That trial regarding the former NL West outfielder (no, not that trial, the other trial) is getting a little weird.
• Speaking of extra time, when you are a back-up hockey goalie, you have a lot of extra time on your hands during games.  It is good to see Marty Turco putting his time to go use as well.
• For those of you worried about how Aaron Rogers would handle the NFL lockout, he seems to be doing okay; after all, he has a date with Destiny . . . [Editor's Note:  hardy-har-har]
• We always try to give you at least one feel-good story each week.  This week, it is the story of a ring large enough to be a bracelet.
• If arrest lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention. 

Ok, the Chief has "mulled" it over and believes the answer is clear.  He loves him his blonds and fears what diseases Derek Jeter might be incubating within his jock; talk about tainted goods.  So, Minka must go.  Also, as you may recall from our last M-F-K installment, the Chief has an unnatural fear of large boobs and the damage they might cause in the throes of passion.  While he is willing to offer Brooklyn a ride, he is worried about long-term brain damage from constant blows to the head . . . wait, what? [Editor's Note: concussion and bedroom sports, it's time to get serious].  So, Brooklyn gets the [censored] of her life and is shown the door.  Which leaves him with Katrina.  I mean, just look at that butt.  How could you not want to come home to that every night? [Editor's Note: truth be told, I already do.]  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.  Speaking of winners . . . 

• You. Are. Welcome.
• Rest assured, ladies, these men DO NOT speak for everyone.
• You can always count on The Onion to tell it like it is should be.
• I know I railed against April Fools jokes last week, but this one was actually worthy of being shared. 
• This commercial is only made better by the fact the Red Sox currently sit winless.
• And the whiff.
• Floor remains undefeated in epic battle with human heads.

Have a great weekend everyone!

All In The Name Of Science

Well, it is with great sadness that I, the Chief, must announce this is final Link Dump and post that will ever grace the pages of GameTime, TBD©.  Sadly, things back in the real world have gotten a little too complicated and we are going to have to close up shop, for good.

APRIL FOOLS!  Hahahahaha; oh man, that was classic.  You should have seen all of your faces.  Man, I kill myself sometimes.

Sadly, that is far from the lamest April Fools joke we have heard/seen today.  Even more sad, we did not even have to try to make it better than some we have seen.  Look, if you are still in college or younger, feel free to pull as many April Fools pranks as you would like.  But please, people, let us put April Fools Day onto that list of things people should no longer care about once they grow up.  Besides, we have more important things to talk about . . . WINNING.

So, I was pretty confident that the Chief's degenerate gambling ways were behind him, but one weekend-long run in Vegas, followed by a dinner with a fellow recovering degenerate gambler, has brought us to this:  The Chief's 2011 "Investment" Experiment.  You may recall last October we alerted you to the epic journey of one man, who bet on his beloved Pirates to lose, every game, to the tune of a 9.8% return on his "investment" over the course of the season.  Well, with the baseball season upon us (Opening Day was yesterday . . . you know, just in case you live in a cave and the only website your iPhone allows you to visit is this one), and that got the Chief thinking about running a little experiment of his own.  Now, for starters, the Chief cares about baseball only to the extent he has a player on his fantasy baseball team.  He does not have one favorite team that he follows at all costs.  Also, unlike the guy who "loves" his Pirates so much he could stomach to bet on them to lose every game, the Chief is an eternal optimist, who believes his team will always triumph (see, e.g., his beloved Kings, no way he could bet on them, he freaks out enough already).  Lastly, what is the fun of betting on someone to lose every game?  Would you not enjoy it more if you could turn a profit by betting on someone to win every game?

And that brings us to the details of the Chief's newest "investment" experiment.  Two guys, two hundred dollars each, betting twenty dollars that the Boston Red Sox will win every game this year.  Yes, that is one hundred and sixty-two (162) individual bets, all in the name of science.  How did these two groundbreaking scientists decide on the Red Sox you ask?  Well, for starters, the Chief wanted a team that he could tolerate that was expected to win significantly more games than they lose this year.  So that eliminated the New York Yankees.  Then, because they are only making a single straight wager every game, the Chief had to figure out what winning team was likely going to have the best average odds over the course of the season.  Looking at the Phillies and Red Sox (the only other two teams expected to win a statistically significant number of games more than they lose), the Red Sox play in the much more competitive American League East, and the American League in general seems to more competitive across the board.  So it was decided that the Boston Red Sox would be the guinea pig for this little experiment.  So, for example, today the Chief has the Red Sox money line (-125) versus the Texas Rangers in their season opener ($20 to win $16).  But to ensure that the average odds stay as close to minus-110 as possible (other gamblers understand this), when the Red Sox face lesser opponents or a team's fifth starter, the Chief will consider taking the run line over the money line.  Yes, that means that, in theory, the Red Sox could win but the Chief will still lose, but we are talking about science her people . . . and WINNING.

Should be a wild ride.  Worst case scenario, Red Sox start the season in a slump and early profits are not high enough to offset the losses and the nest egg dries up.  Best case scenario, the Red Sox set a new major league record for wins (currently 116 by the 2001 Seattle Mariners and 1906 Chicago Cubs).  The most likely result, however, is that Red Sox do as expected and the Chief is able to eek out a five to ten percent profit over the course of the season.  And it all starts today at 1:05 p.m. (PST).  So, while we go enjoy the start of the Chief's experiment, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was (and we promise, no April Fools links):

• Kate Upton is modeling for Guess? I guess I am okay with that.
• You know it is baseball season when [spins wheel]: Dodgers fans show just how classless they truly are.
• You know it is baseball season when [spins wheel]: the Washington Nationals can notanything right, even on Opening Day. do
• Let us take a look at the New York Mets payroll . . . for players no longer on team.  And, just for kicks, here is a closer look at what they still owe Bobby Bonilla.
• Pitcher's perfect game is good enough for a mention in the seventh paragraph . . . of an eight-paragraph story.
• What? A BCS Bowl is corrupt and abusing the money it receives?  Get right out of town.  I hope the BCS committee does the right thing when all is said and done.
• I wonder if he regrets titling his autobiography "Touched"?
• Congrats to all of you who took Wichita State in your NIT brackets.  [Editor's Note: the what?]
• From "Tomorrow Night's Mantra: Keep Your Cool and Respect Yourself" to "Dear TEAM CHI OMYGOD", this story will make your day.
• Thirteen-year-old has already perfected the "I never knowingly . . ." defense.  Sounds like he is ready for the big leagues.
• This story is the perfect bookend to the way we started this Dump . . . maybe not.

If there is one thing you do not want read right before you settle in for start of your "investment' experiment, it is probably something like this:  "[Texas starter] CJ Wilson was 3-0 with an 0.86 ERA in his three starts against Boston last year. The Red Sox hit only .157 against him with 20 strikeouts and only two runs in 21 innings."  And so it begins.  So, how about those videos now:

• Study up, we will be holding tryouts to fill out the Team GameTime, TBD© roster next weekend.
• "And then I was all, talk to the palm cause you ain't the bomb."
• I have something Kaley can practice with . . .  
• The only good thing about VCU's Final Four song is that it allows me to re-post one of the greatest music videos ever made.  [Editor's Note: Did you know The Hoff helped bring down the Berlin Wall? True story.]
• Oh fail, how I have missed you.
• With The Hangover II right around the corner, it is always fun to remember some of Alan's finer moments in Vegas.
• Apparently a lot of important people said a lot of inappropriate things this week.

Have a great weekend everyone!