Rule #76

[Editor's Note:  it's Wedding Crashers day here at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  We have these days ever so often, reserved specifically for those days when the Chief is not in the best of moods.  Nothing is worse than a grumpy Chief, and thanks to the NHL and their crappy officials, that's what we're dealing with today.  Very scientific studies have shown that quoting Wedding Crashers ad nuaseum usually gets at least a laugh or two out of the big guy, so that's what we're going with.]

Sometimes there is no better way to start your Friday than with a trip down memory lane.  And this trip happens to involve a little game I am sure you are all familiar with:  Marry-[censored]-Kill.  As avid readers of GameTime, TBD©, I am sure you are all the type of people who have played it before.  If you have not . . . well . . . you should be ashamed of yourself and I will have to strongly reconsider whether you are worthy of reading this site.  But since we are trying to keep things positive for the Chief today, I will just direct you here to get a quick overview of the rules and move on.  Sure, it is a game we used to play in middle school, and usually the subjects were our teachers, school administrators, or the girls who had been deemed "unsightly" by their fellow classmates.  But every now then something happens [read: you get drunk], and you find you and your friends playing a friendly game of M-F-K just like you were twelve years old again.

Well, one of the many sports blogs we frequent during the preparation of your weekly source of entertainment [read: the Link Dump] runs a weekly M-F-K feature, and this week's was a duesy.  So much so that we thought everyone should be forced to ponder it.  So I ask you, dear readers, of the following three choices, who would you marry, [censored], and kill:  (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Marisa Miller; and (iii) Bar Refaeli?  For those of you who are frequent visitor to our little corner of the world wide web, the Chief's answer should be obvious.  His affliction for blonds, especially one in particular, means poor Ms. Refaeli has an early appointment with death, poor Ms. Decker only gets to taste the goods once, and Ms. Miller becomes Ms. GameTime, TBD© (shocking, I know).  But we are not all like the Chief, so I challenge you to drop us a line with your picks.  And remember, no matter what you decide, one of the great beauties of this generation must be sacrificed.  Rule #76:  No excuses.  Play like a champion.

Once you have finished pondering one of life's great questions, do not fear, we have more ways for you to pass the time on this beautiful Friday.  Like with these links:

• I am calling B.S. on this study, especially after reading the first summary point.  [Editor's Note: just use some basic mathematics . . .]
• Apparently Sports Illustrated thought it had been too long since they ran a piece about Lance Armstrong probably being a cheater.
• Don't waste your time on girls with [Swedish jerseys]. They tend to be very proper.
  Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the [Swedish jersey] just eye-[censored] the [censored] out of me.
• If you are in possession of a Blake Griffin rookie card, I would hold onto it for a little while longer.  Or you could just go ahead and throw it on eBay.
• Phil Mickelson is back to eating meat . . . wait, what?
• Golfer plays world record 10,800 holes in a single year. No, not that golfer.
• In need of a good laugh?  Vince Young is here to help.
• 2011 is quickly becoming the "Year of the Homeless Man".
• Looking for a little extra pick me up in your training?  Go with the deer antler velvet extract.
• Infographics are fun.
• I wonder what Will Hill's interviews will be like at the NFL combine?  [Editor's Note: language may be considered slightly offensive.]
• Get it? Get it? You see, it is funny because he is fat.
• I am not sure it was the execution that was as much the problem as the original plan.  I am just saying . . .
• Are they built for speed or comfort?
• "Many locals in the crowd showed embarrassment that two grown men should fight over something so stupid, while many teenage males egged it on, the witness said."  Are you sure they were not showing embarrassment for actually being at a lawnmower race?

Rumor has it some of you out there had an extra special Thursday night and are in no mood to be doing any work today.  [*wink*]  Well, if that is the case, you have two choices: you can either (1) make me an exact replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field; or (b) just go ahead and check out these videos:

• EVERYBODY . . .
• If you are not watching The Onion's "Sports Dome", here is what you have been missing.  [Editor's Note: uncensored version.]
• Being from Southern California, I am not too familiar with snow plows.  But I am pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
• It takes a special kind of outburst for a coach to get a standing ovation.
• Some people find cat videos irresistibly funny.  If you are one of those people, this video is for you.
• Oh, and this one too.
• This is why Los Angeles needs a better subway system.
• Did you know the Australian Open (yes, the tennis tournament) had started?  Well, apparently it has been quite entertaining thus far.
• So, I guess we are in that whole "every major sports announcement requires a spoof of 'The Decision'" phase then?  Good to know.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Happy Holidays!

The GameTime, TBD© gift exchange is almost done, and that can mean only one thing: it is time for us to give you, our dear readers, a little something special for the holidays.  [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]

This is officially our 200th post, so we wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your endless support of our little corner of the world wide web.  It is hard to believe that we started this thing over four years ago and that we are still going strong.  And it is because of all of you that we keep striving to make this a better site day-in and day-out.  We might not be able to keep up as much as we would like, but believe you me, we try are darnedest to do so.  We hope you and your families have the happiest and healthiest of holiday seasons.  We have some new surprises in store for everyone next year and we are looking forward to an amazing 2011.  Thank you again for your endless support and we look forward to seeing you in the new year!

. . . .

Oh, and one more thing.  Since this is technically the last day of everyone's work week, and since we sincerely doubt any of you have an ounce of motivation to do some work, here is our holiday gift to you:

• Not surprisingly, NFL cheerleaders look good when they rock the holiday-themed outfits.
• Remember, you should be spreading Christmas cheer at all hours of the day.
• It is the week before Christmas, so that means it is time for Lonely Island to bail Saturday Night Live out with a funny new digital short.  [Editor's Note: featuring rising-GameTime, TBD© favorite Blake Lively nonetheless!]
• Speaking of Saturday Night Live, once upon a time they managed to create funny holiday skits on their own.

Have a great holiday season everyone! We will see you in 2011!

Is This Thing On?

Testing . . . testing . . . one, two, three.  Are we on?  Okay, good.

With the holiday season upon us, things start to get crazy.  Office is closed; people work shorter days; people take longer weekends; in general, work productivity begins to decline.  The GameTime, TBD© office is no exception.  As such, things have been dark around here for the past few weeks. [Editor's Note: as evidenced by our November 19th post (from which, I might add, we learned a large proportion of our male readers find Blake Lively and her . . . um . . . "large proportions" quite satisfying) and the subsequent Thanksgiving weekend break.]  But we are up and running at full steam this week.

However, you will fins this Link Dump is dominated by entertaining videos.  Unfortunately, sports-related news have been dominated this past week by LeBron's return to Cleveland and the Cam Newton pay-for-play scandal.  And you know that we pride ourselves on finding you the non-mainstream articles; the stuff you will not find on the front page of ESPN.  So when not one, but two stories are dominating the news cycle, those obscure stories we love so much become harder to find.  That being said, The Chief would like to take a brief moment to comment on the Cam Newton pay-to-play scandal.

When the Chief was in law school, he was a staff writer for, and then Editor-in-Chief of, the Entertainment Law Review at his school.  The Review focused on legal issues related to . . . shockingly . . . the field of entertainment, which included sports.  As a staff writer, the Chief devoted many hours and even more pages crafting a defense of the NCAA for its rulings on the eligibility of former-USC receiver Mike Williams and former-Colorado kick-returner/Olympic skier Jeremy Bloom (both had been ruled ineligible by the NCAA for various reasons).  As such, the NCAA's recent ruling with regard to Cam Newton left him a little disappointed.  For those of you not completely familiar with the scandal, allegedly Cam Newton's father, with the help of another individual (known in the recruiting world as "a runner"), sought money (allegedly upwards of $180k) from Mississippi St. to secure a commitment from his son.  Mississippi St. was Cam's number one choice because his former quarterback coach was now coaching there.  As the allegations go, Mississippi St. said "No thanks." and Cam's father told him he was not going there and that is how Cam ended up at Auburn.  Yes, we find it very suspect that all of these allegations have arisen as Auburn approaches a national championship and Cam a Heisman trophy, but now that they are out there, would we not expect the NCAA to do the right thing? [Editor's Note: don't answer that . . .]

Without boring you with too many specifics, various NCAA bylaws declare a student-athlete ineligible if he or she, or his or her relatives and friends, accepts money, travel, or other benefits from someone marketing his or her athletic talents (see, e.g., the Reggie Bush scandal).  Auburn found Cam Newton violated these rules, declared him ineligible, and then immediately sought reinstatement from the NCAA.  The NCAA reviewed the facts and found Cam's father (a pastor nonetheless) and this runner had inappropriately sought money for Cam's services in violation of the bylaws.  HOWEVER, it also found that there was no evidence that Cam had knowledge of this, applied a safety-net provision of the bylaws, and declared Cam eligible to play.  And that, my dear readers, is where the NCAA loses all credibility in this ruling.  He had no knowledge?  Common sense would tell you he knew what was up.  Do not believe me?  Imagine you have your heart set on going to one school and one school only (let's call it . . . oh, I don't know . . . Mississippi St.).  You tell your dad it is your dream to go to this school and he says that sounds good.  Then, a few months later, completely out of the blue, your dad says you can not go to the school you dreamed of, but instead you have to go to another specific school (let's call School B . . . um . . . Auburn . . . that sounds like a fun word).  So, Mr. NCAA, am I supposed to believe that, when presented with this exact situation, Cam did not question his father or get the least bit suspicious?  This is a boy who dreamed of being reunited with his quarterback coach.  And I am expected to believe that when his father said that was not going to happen Cam did not want to know why?  Give me a break.  Logic, common sense, basic reasoning skills; these are the only things everyone needed to use to know that Newton should be declared ineligible.  Unfortunately, logic, common sense, and basic reasoning are three things the NCAA lacks . . . especially when it could result in a non-BCS team wining the national championship.

Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.  Sorry, we got a little fired up there.  So, while we go for a short walk, maybe grab some lunch, and take a few deep breaths, here are some none-LeBron and non-Cam Newton stories you might have missed from this past week:

• It is good to see that Marisa Miller is already in the holiday gift-giving mood.  First, she went on Conan in this dress.  Then, she went on The DP Show and said that, if she was in an experimenting mood, she would not mind spending some quality time with Jessica Biel.  Yeah, good luck getting that image out of your head anytime soon.
• Deadspin's Drew Magary hits the nail on the head with his "Hater's Guide to Taylor Swift".  I think he should start writing songs . . .
• In case you were confused with your United States geography, Dallas-Fort Worth is located in the east-to-northeast portion of the country.  So much for those funny southern jokes we like to make.
• Soon, all college girls will be able to justify the "Freshman 15".
• As if we needed another reason to prove the BCS system sucks, Nevada cost itself only about $1 million by beating Boise St. last week.
• Deplorable does not even begin to describe this crime.
• Mediocre hockey players serve as proof to what we already new: hot chicks love money.
• Okay, we lied, one link related to LeBron's return to Cleveland.
• Only with the Los Angeles Clippers does this sort of thing happen.
• Man sues former NBA player for coming onto his court and taking it to the hole.
• If you can get past all the grammatical errors [Editor's Note: did I mention I'm an editor?], here is a look a MJ's new crib.
• Just go ahead and add "pools w/ observation windows" to the list of places I am afraid to swim.
• If you are not too busy on this fine Friday afternoon, here is a look at some of the funnier things associated with the WWE.

I am not going to beat around the bush, we have some pretty fantastic videos lined up for you this week.  It helps that we have been out of commission for a while so that we a couple extra weeks worth of videos for you.  So, with that:

• What is the most adventurous thing you have done lately? Quadruple flip from a ninety-nine foot rope swing?  You win.
• Every once in a while, Saturday Night Live actually pulls something out of the funny bag.  We like to save you the trouble of having to watch the other eighty-eight minutes of the show.
• Only in the South is a beer bong interrupted by this kind of unidentified flying object.
• Around Christmas time, Oprah surprises one lucky audience by being part of her "Favorite Things" episode, during which she gives everyone in attendance a crap load of her . . . well . . . favorite things of the year.  And the audience goes nuts . . . literally.
• I am sure you all have seen this interception a thousand times by now, but it still remains the most impressive interception I have ever seen.
• I am going to go out on a limb and say that is not her first time doing that . . .
• I do not know how Jimmy Kimmel does it week-in and week-out, but his "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" always gets me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Makes Me Wanna Say . . .

[Editor's Note: we're sorry for the late arriving Link Dump.  Apparently a "holiday" Friday can't stop emergencies from popping up at our actual "work".  As such, we've been running behind schedule all morning getting the various links and videos finalized.  But we never want to let you down, so here it is in all its glory.]

. . . oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh my god.  It is the one day of the year that the Link Dump introduction pretty much writes itself.  Why?  Because it is the Friday before that special weekend where society has found the decency to allow women to express their inner-sluttiness with out facing judgment.  And since we love scantily-clad women around these parts, we love what Halloween has become.

But that does not mean there is not an alarming trend that must addressed.  Any of you who know me know then that I am one of the clearest cases out there of someone who has out kicked his coverage.  Seriously, if you were to poll my friends, family, and random strangers walking down the street, the results would be unanimous.  My Better Half is smarter and hotter than me and, when all is said and done, is probably going to end up more successful.  Why do you think I had to lock that [censored] down her freshman year of college?  So, I am not ashamed to admit that, come Halloween, I want to show her off a little.  But she is a little reserved about just how hot she is, so every year we have a back-and-forth about what she will dress up as.  I mean, I am not about to try and convince her to dress up like Daisy Duke or a naughty nurse (speaking of Daisy Duke, I wanted to congratulate the producers of Project Runway for that life-like fat suit they convinced Jessica Simpson to wear during the finale that ran last night; I mean, it was so real looking that she even had trouble opening her mouth to speak except anytime someone mentioned food . . . wait, what's that? It wasn't a costume? Good god, man.  What happened to the old Jessica? . . . but I digress), but is a sexy Batman or pirate too much to ask?  Well, as luck would have it, I actually convinced her to wear something that is a little more "risque" than normal for her and so off I went to look for ideas to show her.  But as I was searching through the various Halloween costume websites, I noticed a surprisingly high number of women's costumes (which pretty much only fall into the categories of sexy, slutty, or "companion for Charlie Sheen's next episode") were available in regular and . . . wait for it . . .  plus sizes.  Look, I am not about to say that the larger girls should not be allowed to express their skankier side (fat chicks need lovin' too), but I do not think we should be encouraging them to try and squeeze into costumes that, perhaps, only twenty percent of the female population should be squeezing into in the first place (a portion of the population that, thankfully, includes my Better Half . . . and football cheerleaders).  For some reason our country has turned into a country where people are not allowed to have hurt feelings.  If skinny chicks can dress slutty, then the fat chicks should be allowed to look just as slutty.  Well, I say, suck it up.  Hurt feelings help you build character.  So, if you are "big boned", either drop a few "el-bee-esses" before next Halloween or pick something other than that sexy referee costume you have been eying.

If you were finishing your lunch or afternoon snack and happened to click on that first Jessica Simpson link or the referee costume link, we apologize.  We probably should have given you some sort of warning.  "E" us.  So, to help make it up to you, here are some entertaining stories you might have missed from the past week:

• Nothing says football like leather pants and super-high heels. As such, nothing says football like Marisa Miller.
• For those recently engaged and/or those planning on popping the question sometime soon [Editor's Note: congrats to you!], here is a must read article.
• Ever wonder what it takes to close a wound caused by an inadvertent skate to the neck?  [Editor's Note: remember that warning we should have given before the Jessica Simpson picture?]
• The Wallstreet Journal has provided us with some great analysis of all the NFL pre-game shows that you should not miss.
• "She could make millions if she ever cashed in on all the naked photos she gets from friends."  Shocking.
• While the bathroom might be ridiculous, those ladies can certainly join me in it anytime they want.
•  Believe it or not, the Lingerie Football League might actually be helping the economy more ways than one.
• The tragedy at Notre Dame truly is a sad event, and Deadspin wants you to know just how avoidable it was.
• And will the tragedy have any affect on this?
•  This week in failed analogies: the Phillies loss and the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.  Go.
• Did the Feds have something to do with Jose Guillen being left off the Giants' playoff roster?
• The World Series always brings out the best in people, like those who are willing to go that extra mile for a ticket to the World Series, or those who are willing to do anything just to watch their team play.
• Sad news out of Germany this week (just this week?): Paul the octopus has died.
•  We do not normally link to NASCAR stories around these parts unless the story involves something more than NASCAR . . . you know, like hot twin sisters.

Since we know what type of readers this site attracts, we are fairly confident you all have great plans for tonight and tomorrow night.  We sincerely hope that what ever you have planned results in many treats for your eyes to enjoy.  And since we think there will be plenty of treats for your eyes to enjoy this weekend, we thought we would give you some tricks (and some other stuff) for your eyes to enjoy today:

• Part Three of the epic Nash-Donovan showdown.
• As the title of this video suggests, people are awesome.
• Question: at what point in life does someone decide "I'm going to learn cool tricks on a unicycle"?
• "They're smoking weed!"
• Sounds like the Obamas are ready to party. 
• The Brett Favre sexting scandal had SNL commercial written all over it.
• Speaking of commercials, here is LeBron's new Nike commercial in which he proves he still does not get it.
• "Nuts and bolts, we got screwed."  Yup, it is the greatest meltdown in high school football history.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Running on Empty

[Editor's Note: In support of the Chief's half marathon training, we have decided all Link Dump titles will be running related, usually drawing inspiration from movies or song. Also, training seems to be going pretty well for the Big Guy. You track his progress over there to right . . . now down a little . . . to the right . . . there you go.]

So, we ended up taking an unexcused absence last week on account of Memorial Day weekend and some trouble with the "standard" maintenance my car went in for last Thursday. Long story short, it looked for a brief moment like I was going to be taking the dealer's loaner car to Palm Springs for "Sausagefest 2010", but they got it done in time. And, yes, we dropped the ball by not even getting you at least a little eye candy to make, what I am sure was, a short Friday at the office even better (As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids).

Before we get to the goods (other than the ones we just gave you), the staff here at GameTime, TBD© would like to send out our thoughts and prayers to the Wooden family. As I am sure you all know by now, "The Wizard of Westwood" was recently admitted to the UCLA Medical Center. Most people wonder how I became such a big fan of UCLA since I did not go there and did not have an family go there until much later in life (when my sister married a Bruin and my Better Half went to grad school). Well, as a young basketball fan growing up in Southern California whose only NBA allegiance was to a team playing thousands of miles away (the Pistons), it was pretty easy to learn to love UCLA basketball and the great tradition of the program created by Wooden. I have printed his pyramid of success more than a few times and refer to it often. I can still pick up my (personally-signed) copy of A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court, read a chapter or two, and instantly feel motivated to be the best I can be. If you have not seen the documentary on Wooden's time at UCLA, The UCLA Dynasty [Editor's Note: no, we do not own shares of Amazon.com], do yourself a favor and pick up a copy and check it out. The man truly was, is, and always will be the greatest coach in the history of sports. So, Coach, we are pulling for you. Get well soon. After all, Steve Lavin will probably need some advice on how to actually coach a basketball team. Who else will he be able to call?

Well, it certainly is not our intention to bum anyone out on a Friday. So we feel it is only appropriate to find the best, most entertaining stories from the past week or so to help get you through the rest of your Friday. What is that you say? You would not mind some more attractive ladies? Well, I think we can accommodate that:

• We start with a small request: help us get some GameTime, TBD© buzz going. We would like to retire sooner rather than later.
• If England seems a little tense during its opening match against the United States next week, I think we will all know why. In related news, Abigail Clancy--fiancee to English striker Peter Crouch--is hot.
• Surprise, surprise. No one likes the new ball designed specially for the World Cup.
• Even Brazilian sex workers are trying to cash in on the World Cup craze (no, we are not talking about that . . . get your mind out of the gutter).
• Apparently we all need to be paying a little more attention to women's tennis . . .
  
• . . . and the Women's College World Series.
• So you got robbed by a couple "professional" ladies, what is the big deal? Oh, I see.
• The Florida Marlins cordially invite you to a game that already happened.
• Apparently steroids do not have as great of affect on the player's ability to go deep as we thought. And, yes, cropping that photo was totally uncalled for by Yahoo!. Allow us to correct their mistake.
• As much as I dislike the San Francisco Giants, I do love me a good, funny Tim Lincecum story.
• I actually strongly disagree with this man's suggestion. Believe it or not, they do actually hate each other that much.
• As if the sport of cycling was not enough of a joke already.
• The pussification of youth sports continues.

I actually have a lot to say on that last topic, and it is something we plan on addressing in the upcoming weeks. First, we have to get the Chief [Editor's note: *insert sheepish grin and shoulder shrug here*] to finish up the Kings year-in-review piece he has been writing, re-writing, and re-re-writing for the past few weeks. So, while we go lecture him on the art of closing [Editor's note: which I, myself, did not master until I met my Better Half], here are some videos for you all to enjoy on this fine Friday:

• Today does feel like it is going to be a great day, but probably not for the same reason as his. . . .
  
• . . . I think it has more to do with this.
• I sincerely hope you bit the bullet and proposed to your better half before this video hit "the net". If not, sucks to be you . . . or, do whatever you can to make sure she never learns of its existence . . . but let us be honest, twenty of her girlfriends have already forwarded it to her saying something like, "he's made you wait 5 years, so he better do something like this." Yes, my friend, you. are. screwed.
• "This is why women aren't in charge of sports." Yikes.
• I wonder how many drinks it took to get this guy to go all Dukes of Hazard on his way out of the airport.
• We close with the greatest (cover band) drummer ever. EVER.

Have a great weekend everyone!

It Has All Been Building to This . . .

. . . three days, 63 holes (I'm such a slut), lots of money. Last year, I was invited to a golf tournament started by one of the partners of my firm and his friends, which has lasted about twenty years now. It runs Saturday through Monday, in which you play eighteen holes on Saturday, twenty-seven on Sunday, and eighteen more on Monday (if you can still swing your club by that point . . . HEY-OH!). The whole thing is handicap adjusted, and matches you and a teammate (this year I'm bringing my good buddy Coop, Coop-a-loop) for all the money. Even better, we get to play three great courses: Rancho San Marcos (Saturday), Alisal Ranch (Sunday), and Sandpiper (Monday). Do not be jealous . . . okay, be a little jealous.

I have been looking forward to this weekend for the past fifty-one weekends. You see, it was at this tournament last year (my first invite) that I discovered my swing had too many flaws to make it in the long run. My game went all David Duval circa-2002 on me and I pretty much embarrassed myself and my buddy Hizzle the whole weekend. I realized my swing had become a house of cards, and the more I tried to fix it myself, the more hitches and hiccups I put that served as little more than temporary patches. I never thought about giving up the game, and for the first time in a long time, I did not just go by a new club to make me feel better. I found myself a golf teacher and, over the past five months, I have torn my swing down and built it back up. I may not be scoring as well as I would like to heading into this weekend (my handicap is the highest it has been in over a decade), I know that comes mostly from only having played two rounds in the past three months. As I get out there more, I know more scores will come down as I remember all of my course management skills. However, I am confident going into this weekend because my ball striking (Matt Holliday knows a thing or two about ball striking) is back to where it was in college and I am hitting the ball longer and straighter (for the most part) than I may ever have. Since the tournament is handicap adjusted, the scoring will take care of itself. Yes, my short game still needs a lot . . . nay . . . A LOT of work (hence the not scoring well), but that will come with more time spent on the course (and less time putting from the rough . . . HEY-OH!). More importantly than all that though, I have remembered how much fun golf actually is; I remember why I fell in love with the game in the first place. So now I have focused, confident, and ready to hand it to three challenging course (read: get it handed to me), all with a smile on my face.

Are you still with me? I know that is not the most entertaining Link Dump introduction we have ever written here at GameTime, TBD©, but what can I say, I am excited. If you made it this far, we appreciate you sticking around and would like to reward you. Here are some things you might have missed:

• Friday Night Lights, the best show you (or anyone else for that matter) are not watching, returns October 26th on DirecTV's The 101. A cast easy on the eyes does not hurt either.
  
• Speaking of easy on the eyes, Esquire went and did this. Gentlemen, you. Are. Welcome.
• [We interrupt our Link Dump for some non-sports-related news.] What do you do when you have your Miss Teen Louisiana crown striped after a pot bust (note to self, remember to not leave identifying items behind when pulling the old dine-and-dash trick)? This of course. [We now return to our regularly scheduled Link Dump.]
  
• Let me see, that is three more medals for the United States and one gold for New Zealand.
• Last night was a tough night for St. Louis fans all around.
  
• Mike Hamrick is just living the dream.
• You were not the only one to miss the major storyline in this past Monday's MNF game.
  
• Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em.
  
• Good news Romosexuals, Tony can count to four.
  
• Ron Artest politely asks blog writer [Editor's note: not me] to fellate a certain unmentionable.
  
• The Nationals should give this guy season tickets or something.
• "They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore." "Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?" "Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my [arm] off."
• Sometimes the headline writes itself.
  
• If you thought the Madden Curse was bad, wait until you read about the Lakefront Marathon Curse.

Well, it is hard to deny, I am in a great mood right now. I have a three-day weekend ahead of me just so I can golf. It does not get much better than that. But since I know not all of you are as lucky as I am right now, I feel it is only appropriate we provide you with only the finest videos for your weekly viewing enjoyment. Let us say we call it a special gift to you, our dedicated readers, because the Chief is feeling it today.

• With playoff baseball finally here, it is time we enjoy one of the best calls in the history of the game.
  
• Sixty yards in the air, between two defenders, nothing but victory.
• "Tasing on my butt." That's what she said.
  
• Come for the public service announcement, stay for the attractive female celebrities groping each other.
  
• Wow, just wow.
  
• Question: what is pole dancing without a sturdy pole? Answer: Hilarious (yes, I am a terrible, terrible human being).
  
• I support The Fun Theory, and so should you.
  
• And, he is out.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Could You Describe the Ruckus, Sir?

Hello all. It has been far too long. I am sorry for the relative lack of activity taking place around these parts of the world wide web, but my schedule has been absolutely crazy. It still is, actually, but I was not going to let it stop me from taking care of my favorite people (the avid GameTime, TBD© readers) once again. And for a while I bounced around how to start off this week's Link Dump. Do I regale you with stories of my adventures in Point Pleasant, West Virginia (ever heard of the Mothman?)? Or the fact that Vanessa Hudgens loves taking pictures of herself . . . in the mirror . . . without any clothes on (she's 18 right? [Googling Vanessa Hudgens] 20, phew . . . oh yeah, that one's NSFW)? Or maybe I could tease you with details of my upcoming vacation (that's just cruel). But then, as it so often does, life picked the topic for me.

You may or may not have heard (I'm going to guess you have), but John Hughes passed away yesterday at the far-too-young age of fifty-nine. I am willing to wager that there is not a single person out there who does not have at least one Hughes-written movie amongst their top ten favorite movies of all time. Sure, his more recent credits might not be all that impressive, but look at the run he had from 1983 to 1991: Mr. Mom; Vacation; Sixteen Candles; The Breakfast Club; European Vacation; Weird Science; Pretty in Pink; Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Planes, Trains & Automobiles, The Great Outdoors, Uncle Buck, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, and Dutch. That is an impressive eight-year run. Having not attended high school until the late-1990s, I can not say I appreciated The Breakfast Club, or the other Brat Pack movies, as much as some of my older readers, but they are still great movies. And there is not a week that goes by that I do not follow up one of my far-too-intellectual jokes with "Bueller? . . . Bueller? . . . Anyone? . . . Anyone?" And I will be the first to admit that I will still watch Home Alone when it is on during the holiday, and you can bet that Christmas Vacation is right there for the encore. But I would have to say that Planes, Trains & Automobiles ranks as my favorite John Hughes movie (I knew Rich Eisen and I would be best buddies). It is by far John Candy's best work (sorry all you Who's Harry Crumb lovers) and, if you know me, you know there is not a pre-Bowfinger Steve Martin movie I do not love, and it was written by, perhaps, my second-favorite film/television writer of all time (sorry Hughes family, Sorkin takes the cake).

And while I am sure we could spend the rest of the day debating why we prefer one Hughes movies over another, that is not really why you are here. Obviously the thoughts and prayers of the GameTime, TBD© team go out to the Hughes family, but we are here to make sure you all are a little happier on this Friday afternoon, not bummed out. So to help you get through the rest of your afternoon (and to help me get to vacation a little faster), here are some things you might have missed:

• This countdown alone could kill the rest of your afternoon, but it is totally worth it: The 50 Most Badass Moments In Sports.
• I can not decide if the fourteen points UCLA got in the preseason coaches' poll means they are overrated or underrated.
• Round 1 goes to Delaware; round 2 to the NCAA. But rest assured, Montana is safe.
  
• UCF should know that college football fans take their drunk co-eds tailgating very seriously.
• "I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame." Good to know Vince does not have any self-esteem issues.
• Something tells me that Michael Crabtree will probably not let his cousin speak on his behalf for much longer.
• I do not care if it is $90 or $60, it better be the best pizza ever made for that kind of money.
• The Juice may be loose sooner than expected.
• I have said it before, and I will say it again, the litigious nature of this society drives me mad.
• When the gravy train stops running, a girl has got to earn a living somehow.
• Here is a fine example of second place being the first winner: the view.
• He's a she; she's a he; he's a she-he.
• A new fight for those right-wing freaks that have hijacked my beloved Republican party.
• Although this photo spread has nothing to do with Marisa Miller (or other attractive women for that matter), I promise you, making it through all 20 galleries is well worth your time.

If you have truly taken the time to enjoy all of those links, it has probably taken you about an hour to get this far (I think that is some kind of record for the Link Dump). And for your effort, you deserve to rewarded. While I am willing to wager that only one of these videos' writing rises to the level of John Hughes (heck, two of them are unscripted), I think they are all equally enjoyable and will likely bring a smile to your face (oh, and probably a slight cringe):

• "Those aren't pillows!" (okay, I cheated, Hughes actually wrote it).
• Livin' the dream, baby!
• And he's out!
• Remember when laser pointers used to be cool? Not anymore.
• Still trying to keep you in the Tweet Boxx loop: Episode 5, Episode 6, and Episode 7.
• I am about a week late on this one, but you have got to respect their dedication to Trey (and college rivalries).
• Of course, you can have that last one without this one. [Editor's Note: remember, username: GameTimeTBD; password: gametime]

The GameTime, TBD© office is closed next week; sorry about that. Regardless, have a great weekend (and week) everyone!

Words of Wisdom from The Chief to BBO

No, I am not talking about bad body odor (though, I did work out this morning and may or may not have remembered to put on deodorant . . . just kidding . . . but seriously).

I gave "the staff" the day off in honor of the arrival of the newest member (future writer?) of the GameTime, TBD© family: BBO, my nephew. The little one arrived safe, healthy, and happy (babies are happy when they're born, right? I mean, sure, they cry. But those are tears of joy, right? Anyone?) this morning. That being said, we do not have a lot of time for a drawn out introduction to this week's Link Dump (which, I learned this morning is a hot ticket item . . . the introduction that is . . . apparently it's quite prestigious to be the subject of the Link Dump introduction and now I'm not entirely sure my Better Half is talking to me today. But I am proud of her and all her accomplishments as well. She just has to understand that it is impossible for me to corrupt her at this point in life . . .). I have to get all my actual work done as quickly as possible so I can bounce early and introduce myself to BBO. I have been trying to figure out what to say to him the first time we meet, and here is what I have got thus far:

"Hello, I am your Uncle . . . your cool Uncle that is (not that there was any real competition). The Uncle who is going to teach you things Mom does not want you to know and Dad does not want to get in trouble for teaching you. Speaking of trouble, if you ever get in it (and, knowing your Mom, I'm sure you will), always blame me, even though we know it was probably your Dad's fault. He paid my runner $1,000 cash in an envelope so I would commit to this, so don't forget it. Years from now, you will realize you want to be exactly like me. Who would blame you? However, for your Mother's sake, let's just keep that between you and me."

Welcome to the world little man. Here are some things that happened during the week of your birth:

• I disagree (circle gets the square).
• I would say that bad decision is worth more than $4.8 million.
• *cough* Shotgun wedding *cough* *cough*.
  
• Greg Paulus's relationship with his center is about to get a whole lot more personal.
• Right Darren, the first thing I noticed was that she is a professional volleyball player.
• North Carolina A&T: currently the best team in college football.
• I am sure this has nothing to do with the fact that Sam Keller was not drafted by anyone in the NFL.
• Remember when hot Russians were supposed to start dominating women's tennis and then they did not? Looks like they have moved on to something else.
• Jockeys will do anything to beat a drug test . . . yes, you read that correctly, jockeys.
• Boy, if I had a nickel for every time my rugby team staged a group orgy . . .

It is a really exciting day around here, and I have actually been looking forward to the video portion of this week's Link Dump since Monday. Originally I was going to go with only one video because, well, it is THAT good. But because today is celebration, I have decided to celebrate with a few extras.

• How has this pitcher not been called up yet?
• "A comeback is like a yo-yo. You're gonna go down, but you're coming right back up . . . . and then you may end up walking the dog."
• This is the one. You can thank me later.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Update: if you want to see the uncensored version of that last video and don't have a Hulu account, I've created one for GameTime, TBD© readers. Username: GameTimeTBD; Password: gametime. Creative, I know.]

Home for the Holidays

Hello all. The fine folks here at GameTime, TBD© will be closing up shop for the next week or so to celebrate the holidays with our families. We wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you, our avid readers, for your continued support and we hope that you will be back in the new year for some more good times.

Even though times are tough out there right now, we hope you all are able to enjoy the things to be thankful for. In case you are having a harder time than normal, here is a story from Rick Reilly to remind you that there are still great things going on out there, no matter what the media and our government is saying.

And for those of you still looking for the perfect gift to get that special someone for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday you might be celebrating, allow me to remind you of the greatest gift you could give:



Please, please, please have a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season. We will see you in 2009!

Rounding Into Form

[Editor's Note: updated at 1:40pm]

After a slow start to the month of December, the holiday season is finally rounding into form for the folks here at GameTime, TBD©. Over the course of the next eight days, there are multiple holiday parties for the staff to attend and at least two separate birthday celebrations for the man in charge of this little show (don't make us out to be saints just yet . . . we do turn a small profit . . . after all, someone has to pay for the, uh, lap dancers for the big guy here). There is no wonder people call this the most wonderful time of the year.

It is also around this time of year that other blogs start to get a little lazy. I could have made this week's Link Dump a collection of the various "Top __" lists that everyone puts out this time of year. I could have called it something catchy like the "Top 12 Top __ Lists of This Holiday Season", but what fun would that be? I refuse to get lazy; that would not be fair to you, my avid readers, who turn out every week to provide your insights and support. It does make it a little more difficult to find those not-so-obvious news stories you have come to expect from the GameTime, TBD© Link Dump, but that will not stop me. This is, after all, the season of giving. Which reminds me, anyone have any thoughts on what you give your wife of four months on your first Christmas as a married couple?

While I spend the rest of my afternoon searching for the perfect present, here are some things you might have missed to help get you through the rest of your Friday:

• If only there was some place on this whole world wide web thing that had a complete collection of Marisa Miller photos . . .
• There are some crimes that are so heinous, so unforgivable, that even I believe the death penalty is called for. Murdering a cheerleader? Check.
• The Professional Cheerleader Blog (wow, the Internet really does have everything these days) would like you to know that the Chicago Luvabulls have been dominating the Miss Illinois USA pageant for the last couple of years.
• With a name like Starr Spangler, I would have expected a different career path after her Dallas Cowboys cheerleading days came to an end (clearly I'm talking about singing our national anthem at sporting events . . . get your mind out of the gutter).
• Gisele claims that size does not matter. Tom, is there something you would like to tell us?
  
• Speaking of the Cowboys, T.O. is upset he did not get invited to the Romo-Witten slumber party.
• Your team is 0-13 and you are tired of losing. Do you (1) suck it up and actually win a game, or (b) flick off the fans?
• With the economy failing, the Big 3 about to go bankrupt, and increased tension in the Middle East, it is good to see Congressman Barton's head is in the right place.
• Urban Meyer, tired of staring at Florida co-eds cheering on his team, admits his preference for catholic schoolgirls. Welcome to the club.
  
• I do not know what "chutzpah" but means, but I am sure Senator Bunning is excited about being elected into its hall of fame.
  
• Daly confuses fan's camera with one of his empty beer cans.
• Barry Melrose, whose mullet was fired after only 16 games as head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightening, has moved on . . . clearly.
• If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that an NHLer's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not break multiple fingers in a freak snow blower accident.
• Referee to Ryan Miller: you will RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

Wow, three television/movie references in one Link Dump, that must be some new kind of record. Anyways, I have put together another excellent set of videos for your weekly viewing pleasure. I even intentionally went into the vault for a previously unused clip that goes well with Saturday Night Live's most recent gem of a digital short:

• Of course, the old "draw a name out of the hat" trick. It all makes sense now.
• Just go ahead and let me know when we are back on the air. [warning: includes some strong language]
• I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of NFL defenders cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced by the realization that there is a second Barry Sanders. [That makes four!]
  
• When I first saw this, I thought someone had videotaped my first year of law school with my buddy DJ.
• Stepped outside, into the rain, looked at my phone, saw you rang . . .

Have a great weekend everyone!

Working On Something Special

Dear avid readers and those of you who have stumbled upon this gift to the world for the first time,

I invite you to count your blessings. I have been fired up this whole week about the people and their positions on Proposition 8 (a prop on this year's ballot here in California for anyone who might be reading this from some exotic location such as Asia, Europe, the Caribbean, or Missouri). I was all ready to get on my "I'm Smarter Than You" soapbox and lay some knowledge on everyone as the introduction to this week's Link Dump, but I decided against it. I realized (1) I am not about to turn GameTime, TBD© into a hot bed of political debate, it goes against everything I stand for; (b) I do not think most of you would find it very entertaining, which is the point of the weekly Link Dump; and (iii) my Detroit Lions are working on something special this season.

Entering Week 8 of the NFL season, the Lions are 0-6, with losses against such powerhouses as the Atlanta Falcons, San Francisco 49ers, and, most recently, Houston Texans. Having already had their bye week, things do not get any easier the rest of the way. Of their remaining games, only two teams currently have sub-.500 records (Minnesota Vikings and New Orleans Saints), and it is like that by the time they play, those teams will be above .500. It is also likely that their last three opponents (at Indianapolis, home vs. New Orleans, at Green Bay) will be in the middle of the playoff race, not having necessarily clinched spots and, therefore, not resting players. The Lions have not had a quarterback throw for more than 300 yards (Kitna had 276 in Week 2) or a running back rush for more than 100 yards (Johnson had 83 in Week 3) in a game this year. And with the Washington Redskins coming to town this weekend (the first Lions game to be blacked out locally since Ford Field opened), that is not likely to change anytime soon.

While the general consensus is that the Kansas City Chiefs are the worst team in the NFL, they have something the Lions do not: a win. The Lions are on track to do something that not even the 2007 Miami Dolphins could do: go 0-16. Yes, I know that the Cincinnati Bengals are also currently winless, but I think they have enough offensive talent to squeeze out one or two wins before the season is over, especially since they close out the season at home against the previously-mentioned Chiefs. Since the 1970 merger of the NFL and AFL, only the 1976 expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers have gone oh-for-the-entire-season, finishing 0-14 (yes, I know, Baltimore went 0-8-1 in the strike-shortened 1982 season, but they did not lose every game). So, I encourage everyone to watch the scoreboard closely this weekend (or, if your brother-in-law has DirecTV's Sunday Ticket, you can watch the game live) and follow the Lions' Odyssey-esque quest to become the first team to go winless over a 16-game season.

Best Regards,

The Management

P.S. Here are some things you might have missed:

• Marisa Miller did a photoshoot for . . . you are probably not even reading this anymore, so who cares.
• "Coach" athletes who do not care to be coached or hang out with his soon-to-be-second ex-wife (third wife overall)? Interesting decision Lute.
• Seriously people, if my concealed weapons permit does not allow me to pull a gun on my child's soccer coach in a dispute over playing time, why have one?
• Rachel Glandorf fans of the world rejoice (for those of you scratching your head right now, this is Rachel Glandorf . . . not to be mistaken with Glandorf the Grey of course).
• Remember when boys used to throw pebbles at girls in P.E. to "flirt"? Would this then be considered the college version of that?
• You seek revenge against a fellow athlete who dropped a few racial slurs at a party that you were not at. Do you (a) report him to school officials so that they can discipline him, or (b) hold up the wrong people at (B.B.) gun point while robbing them, thankful that you left your illegal sawed-off shotgun at home?
• In this weeks edition of "It Could Happen to You": meet Matt, a Tarleton State (where?) transfer student who kicked a 30-yard field goal to win free rent for a month and may now being kicking for your Texas Tech Red Raiders (that's right, the #8 team in the nation) this weekend.
• Some have been hit harder than you would have expected by this economic downturn.
• I must have missed the church service where the pastor explained where the Bible tells us that girls can not play football. Can someone please point me to the right verse?
• In non-sports related news, allow me to offer some advice: when pulling off the good ol' "dine-and-ditch", it is best that you do not leave your purse behind. Yes, I am talking to you Miss Teen Louisiana.

P.P.S. As for your weekly viewing enjoyment, I have put together quite an impressive combination of videos for you. You might say that I hit the motherload this week. So you can officially write off the rest of your Friday:

• Nice stick, but next time wrap him up (or, you could go with the blow-to-the-head like they do in high school).
• The world is a better place because of post-game press conferences.
• A behind-the-scenes look at the strenuous life of an Oregon cheerleader.
• "Mom, help! I am pathetic." [I'm just guessing, I don't speak Asian.]
• What is creepier, the guy's hair or what his step-daughter has to say about it? [with great Fargo-like accent goodness]
• People think that SNL has been a little biased in its campaign coverage. Where could they have possibly gotten that idea?
• Be warned: click on this link and you will have the song stuck in your head for the next four days. Oh, the wonder that is local television commercials.

P.P.P.S. Have a great weekend everyone!