Makes Me Wanna Say . . .

[Editor's Note: we're sorry for the late arriving Link Dump.  Apparently a "holiday" Friday can't stop emergencies from popping up at our actual "work".  As such, we've been running behind schedule all morning getting the various links and videos finalized.  But we never want to let you down, so here it is in all its glory.]

. . . oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh, oh oh . . . oh oh, oh my god.  It is the one day of the year that the Link Dump introduction pretty much writes itself.  Why?  Because it is the Friday before that special weekend where society has found the decency to allow women to express their inner-sluttiness with out facing judgment.  And since we love scantily-clad women around these parts, we love what Halloween has become.

But that does not mean there is not an alarming trend that must addressed.  Any of you who know me know then that I am one of the clearest cases out there of someone who has out kicked his coverage.  Seriously, if you were to poll my friends, family, and random strangers walking down the street, the results would be unanimous.  My Better Half is smarter and hotter than me and, when all is said and done, is probably going to end up more successful.  Why do you think I had to lock that [censored] down her freshman year of college?  So, I am not ashamed to admit that, come Halloween, I want to show her off a little.  But she is a little reserved about just how hot she is, so every year we have a back-and-forth about what she will dress up as.  I mean, I am not about to try and convince her to dress up like Daisy Duke or a naughty nurse (speaking of Daisy Duke, I wanted to congratulate the producers of Project Runway for that life-like fat suit they convinced Jessica Simpson to wear during the finale that ran last night; I mean, it was so real looking that she even had trouble opening her mouth to speak except anytime someone mentioned food . . . wait, what's that? It wasn't a costume? Good god, man.  What happened to the old Jessica? . . . but I digress), but is a sexy Batman or pirate too much to ask?  Well, as luck would have it, I actually convinced her to wear something that is a little more "risque" than normal for her and so off I went to look for ideas to show her.  But as I was searching through the various Halloween costume websites, I noticed a surprisingly high number of women's costumes (which pretty much only fall into the categories of sexy, slutty, or "companion for Charlie Sheen's next episode") were available in regular and . . . wait for it . . .  plus sizes.  Look, I am not about to say that the larger girls should not be allowed to express their skankier side (fat chicks need lovin' too), but I do not think we should be encouraging them to try and squeeze into costumes that, perhaps, only twenty percent of the female population should be squeezing into in the first place (a portion of the population that, thankfully, includes my Better Half . . . and football cheerleaders).  For some reason our country has turned into a country where people are not allowed to have hurt feelings.  If skinny chicks can dress slutty, then the fat chicks should be allowed to look just as slutty.  Well, I say, suck it up.  Hurt feelings help you build character.  So, if you are "big boned", either drop a few "el-bee-esses" before next Halloween or pick something other than that sexy referee costume you have been eying.

If you were finishing your lunch or afternoon snack and happened to click on that first Jessica Simpson link or the referee costume link, we apologize.  We probably should have given you some sort of warning.  "E" us.  So, to help make it up to you, here are some entertaining stories you might have missed from the past week:

• Nothing says football like leather pants and super-high heels. As such, nothing says football like Marisa Miller.
• For those recently engaged and/or those planning on popping the question sometime soon [Editor's Note: congrats to you!], here is a must read article.
• Ever wonder what it takes to close a wound caused by an inadvertent skate to the neck?  [Editor's Note: remember that warning we should have given before the Jessica Simpson picture?]
• The Wallstreet Journal has provided us with some great analysis of all the NFL pre-game shows that you should not miss.
• "She could make millions if she ever cashed in on all the naked photos she gets from friends."  Shocking.
• While the bathroom might be ridiculous, those ladies can certainly join me in it anytime they want.
•  Believe it or not, the Lingerie Football League might actually be helping the economy more ways than one.
• The tragedy at Notre Dame truly is a sad event, and Deadspin wants you to know just how avoidable it was.
• And will the tragedy have any affect on this?
•  This week in failed analogies: the Phillies loss and the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.  Go.
• Did the Feds have something to do with Jose Guillen being left off the Giants' playoff roster?
• The World Series always brings out the best in people, like those who are willing to go that extra mile for a ticket to the World Series, or those who are willing to do anything just to watch their team play.
• Sad news out of Germany this week (just this week?): Paul the octopus has died.
•  We do not normally link to NASCAR stories around these parts unless the story involves something more than NASCAR . . . you know, like hot twin sisters.

Since we know what type of readers this site attracts, we are fairly confident you all have great plans for tonight and tomorrow night.  We sincerely hope that what ever you have planned results in many treats for your eyes to enjoy.  And since we think there will be plenty of treats for your eyes to enjoy this weekend, we thought we would give you some tricks (and some other stuff) for your eyes to enjoy today:

• Part Three of the epic Nash-Donovan showdown.
• As the title of this video suggests, people are awesome.
• Question: at what point in life does someone decide "I'm going to learn cool tricks on a unicycle"?
• "They're smoking weed!"
• Sounds like the Obamas are ready to party. 
• The Brett Favre sexting scandal had SNL commercial written all over it.
• Speaking of commercials, here is LeBron's new Nike commercial in which he proves he still does not get it.
• "Nuts and bolts, we got screwed."  Yup, it is the greatest meltdown in high school football history.

Have a great weekend everyone!