Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

I love short weeks. I l-o, l-o, l-o-v-e them (in a "have to have a shotgun wedding" type of way). There is just something about only having to work four days in a given week without having to use a vacation or sick day. It is almost liberating, like you are sticking it to the man.

Yet even with this short week, there is still something about Fridays. I can not quite put my finger on it, but there is something about this day that causes time slow down or, on occasion, completely stop. If you have a theory or understanding as to why this happens, please feel free to let me know. In the mean time, I will continue to do my duty as editor-in-chief of GameTime, TBD©, faithfully providing entertainment to the masses. I know we have been a little light on original entertainment over the past couple of weeks, but for good reason. This is a one-man shop and this one man has been incredibly busy. I do not mean to make excuses, but I am hoping that in your heart of hearts you will be able to forgive me. So, while you mull over whether you are going to forgive me, here are some things you might have missed in the world of sports:

• Unused tickets from Game 2 of the 1996 Stanley Cup Semifinals game between the Detroit Red Wings and Colorado Avalanche just became a whole lot more valuable.
• Joakim Noah: A Model Idiot.
• I will take "Know Your Opponent" for $1000, Alex.
  
• Much like Major League Baseball, the Detroit Tiger have been slow to respond to the rhoids issues.
• Manu Ginobli will be broke by the end of next season.
  
• A sumo wrestler with a ladle . . . stop me if you have heard this one already.
• Blah, blah, blah . . . women's tennis . . . blah, blah, blah . . . Playboy . . . blah, blah, blah . . . wait, what?
• I used to feel bad for players who were traded for the infamous "Player-to-be-Named Later".
• The Dan Marino of the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
• The Seattle Mariners have managed to ruin the only good thing they have going for them this season.

You may recall that a couple weeks back my Bro got married. Late Friday night/early Saturday morning of that weekend, Crazy Cooter, Brother-in-Law and myself were showing off some of our favorite YouTube videos. In the process of searching, we stumbled across perhaps one of the greatest hidden gems of our time. For your viewing enjoyment, I present some of our favorites and the hidden gem:

• "It's the woo-WOOOOOO. You know what I'm sayin'?"
• I can not decide which video I like better, this one . . .
• . . . or this one?
• Let me get this straight, they are goats in a tree and they can talk?
  
• The Hidden Gem.
• And in case you did not already know, Mariah Carey proved once again that she is physically retarded.
  

Have a great weekend everyone!

Failure to Launch

Dear avid readers and new readers alike,

Unfortunately I will be unable to provide you with your weekly does of news and good fun.  I was traveling all week for work and am now about to take off with a group of friends to Yosemite for the long Memorial Day weekend.  Since most of you are likely leaving work early anyways, this should not be that big of deal.

Looking ahead to the next couple weeks, there are some big things in the works.  Most notably, my Better Half will make her long awaited debut on GameTime, TBD© as we play point/counter-point with the recently released Maxim Hot 100 list. I have had the opportunity to peruse the list and I must say I am a little disappointed with some of the choices (but, as mentioned last week, not their number one choice).  Plus, the NHL draft is right around the corner and the Lions have still not fired Matt Millan.

So, enjoy your long weekend.  Kick back with some friends and enjoy a cold "adult" beverage or two.  We will pick things up again next week.

Best Regards,

The GameTime, TBD© Staff

Party Time!

I know it is only Thursday but, sometimes, something comes up that forces you to move your schedule around and plan accordingly. In this instance, the "something" I am talking about is Bro's wedding. I know you have heard me talking about my wedding (more like poking fun at my Better Half about our wedding, but that's neither here nor there . . .), but it turns out that there are two weddings in la familia de BAP this year.

Here is the 411 on Bro: older than me by a good six years and made it known when we were younger. Unfortunately for him, I was to become the bigger of the two sons so picking on me never really lasted. Most of you who know Bro know that he is crazy smart, probably the smartest person I know. He has got a Phd in some type of chemistry (bio?) and speaks in languages no one can understand (are words with twenty-three syllables really necessary?). Seriously, half the time I think he is just making stuff up. He is a science nerd in every sense of the work but thankfully does not dress part. I have yet to figure out how exactly, but he somehow found himself an awesome girl, convinced her to move to Boston with him so he could keep going to school (a little place called Harvard . . . it's the Stansbury of the east), and got her to say "yes!" when he proposed. Call me crazy, but I think she has been drugged; I am pretty sure I can get a court order for a tox-screen no problem.

Okay, I am just kidding . . . about her being drugged at least. In all honesty, they are great together and I am so happy for the both of them. Best of all, this whole wedding thing means that I get to party with my whole family, and by "party with my whole family" I mean blow it out with my two cousins. So that is why this Link Dump comes to you on a Thursday and not a Friday. And because I am in an extra good mood, I have pull out all the stops for this week. So here are some things you might have missed:

• Maxim finally got it right!
• The NCAA finds 688 violations . . . not in one year, silly, at one school.
• High school cheer coach jailed for being awesome . . . or not . . . you decide.
• There is a Storm brewin' at ESPN. [note to self: worst pun EVER!]
• Charles Barkley, still not a role model.
• Apparently Bill Simmons's relationship with ESPN has fallen on hard times, so he went and started himself another blog . . . and posted a pretty interesting story.
• There is no "i" in team, and no "team" in Bonnie Richardson.
• Scotland really has some interesting hazards on its golf courses.
• All you Romosexuals can breathe again.
• One hundred and one . . . and counting.
• Some good might actually come from the O.J. Mayo scandal . . . at least if you are a fan of the Arizona Wildcats.
• If you are attending the 2008 Liberty College graduation, be aware that there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Since I am in such a good mood, I have put together quite a few clips for your viewing pleasure. Most are sure to make you laugh and one you will think is down-right amazing. I know, I know, get on with it already:

• While most of you may think that the Steeplechase is the lamest sport under the "track and field" heading, I have got not one, not two, but three reasons why you might find it mildly entertaining.
• Put simply: Manny being Manny.
• This is a video submitted to GameTime, TBD© by reader "Brother-in-Law". When I said one of the clips was down-right amazing, I might have been selling this one short.
• Since you are probably reading this at work, a word of advice: do not throw paper clips at your co-worker.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Goodbye Week, I Hardly Knew Thee

I have a confession to make: I have killed a man . . . and a woman . . . probably a baby or two . . . a lady of the night (I had to get my money back) . . . oh yeah, and a couple police officers, all within in the past week. Phew, it feels good to get that off my chest.

You may or may not have heard, but Grand Theft Auto IV sold six million copies and made $500 million in its first week of sales. As one commentator put it, "That's a whole lot of dead hookers." I am proud to say that I purchased GTA during its first week; yes, I am twenty-seven years old and I still play video games. And while I really enjoy playing GTA, I agree with the parent advocacy groups out there that strive to make this game unavailable to the younger gamers. While I have no problems disconnecting the game from reality, the violence and images portrayed in this game are very graphic. Take, for example, the advertisements for the game. Every morning on my way to work, I drive past the Hotel Figueroa (or "Hotel Fig" for us locals) in Downtown Los Angeles. Hotel Fig has three twenty-or-so story surfaces that they sell for advertising. Well, sure enough, the marketing team for GTA purchased the space and painted three twenty story pictures of characters from the game . . . and here is what it looks like (seriously, you can find anything using Google). While I thought it was funny at first, I have grown tired of it and actually believe the portrait on the left takes it a little too far. But I will always contend that it is time for society to grow up. Instead of blaming the video game producers and the retailers, it is time we put the onus back on the parents to take responsibility of their children and start teaching them wrong from right. Anyone who blames video games, music, and television for out societal problems needs a reality check.

But enough with the heavy stuff, it is Friday! I hope you all have a great weekend planned (don't forget to call your Mom on Sunday and thank her for teaching you wrong from right so you can play video games), I sure do. But if you are like me, I am sure you could use some entertainment to help get you through those last few hours of the day. So here are some things you might have missed:

• This is, without a doubt, one of the best stories I have read about in a long time.
• All good things must come to an end, including the greatest streak of all time.
• It is good to see that the Lingerie Football League (really?) cares about athleticism.
• People are starting to take this Yankee-Red Sox rivalry to a whole new level.
• I am 27 and my best round was a 192 . . . and I have two good eyes.
• I have never had a hole-in-one and this four-year-old scores one using a Snoopy driver. His reaction? Upset that he did not get to putt.
• Probably the most exciting article Tony Biasotti will pen for the Ventura County Star (that's my hometown's local paper).
• I never thought I would ever type this: Derek Jeter, my hero. (Side note: when the list is finally released, watch out for a point/counter-point from my Better Half and me).
• If the Eagles' cheerleaders really wanted to be "eco-friendly", they should have just gone sans-bikini. Who's with me?
• You know you are having a bad year when even the Canadians are after you.
  

As for your viewing pleasure, it was a pretty slow week in the comedy department. I have a couple short clips for you though that I think you might enjoy:

• A little rough on the landing, he might have to settle for the bronze . . .
• . . . only because this guy is gonna take the silver (degree of difficult is key).
• While a man should NEVER strike a woman, there is nothing out there that says he should let a collegiate gymnast lay him out.
  

Just in case that was not enough, and because I am in such a good mood, here are two of my recent favorites that we have enjoyed together in the past:

• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel: Point; Counter-Point.

Have a great weekend everybody (and a Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers out there)!

Don't Go There

Here at GameTime, TBD©, "our" readers are better than yours, and "we" know it.

As such, it did not come as any surprise when several of my avid readers inquired about the lull in Los Angeles Kings-related posts. Many noted that I had stayed relatively quiet while the Kings slid from the middle of the pack to last in the league. Several questioned why I never expressed concern over the Kings failure to move some of the bigger names on their roster at the trade deadline. Some even went so far as to (not so subtly) question my dedication to the franchise. That, my dear readers, is where I draw the line; no one EVER questions my dedication and loyalty to the Los Angeles Kings.

For starters, I never stopped following the Kings on this site. Sure, most of posts moved away from the Kings and more towards the UCLA Bruins and attractive women, but that does not mean I did not care about what was going on. [Speaking of attractive women, it turns out that Sports Illustrated's website has a section called "On Campus", which has an ongoing series of articles entitled "Cheerleader of the Week". For starters, I am a little disappointed that none of you out there gave me a little heads up on this, but I will let that slide. As it turns out, the series featured UCLA-fan favorite, and MOP of my NCAA Bracket breakdown, Brianna. Now, my expectations might have been a little high, but, as it turns out, Brianna is about as deep as a kiddy pool. Seriously, she wins the lottery and the first thing she buys is a blackberry? She grew up in Sunnyvale, I'm guessing daddy can get her one. Her best physical feature is her hair? Now she's just being modest; I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that when she goes for a guy, her hair is not what he notices first. Oh well, at least she's still easy on the eyes . . . but I digress.]

If work did not get in the way (ha, that's almost funny), I made it to every game for which we had tickets. I even made it to a couple of extra games thanks to my Brother-in-Law and his hook-up (read: job). You might have also noticed that, in the right-hand column, I tracked the Kings record for the entire season (though, admittedly, half way through the season I changed it from "Pacific Division Standings" to "Draft Watch: The Hunt for the Number 1 Pick"). This is not the first time in my life I have tracked the Kings record. You might remember way back in 2001 (February 21, 2001 to be exact), the Kings traded Rob Blake and a nobody to the Colorado Avalanche for Adam Deadmarsh, Aaron Miller, a draft pick and the ever-famous "future considerations". Well, at that time I declared the Kings were better off without Blake and would make the playoffs (they were in 10th at the time). So, I took one of the dry-erase boards in my dorm room (I was a sophomore in college at that time), wrote "Kings Record Post Blake" and tracked it through the end of the regular season. Well, the Kings went 13-2-5-2 (wins-losses-ties-overtime losses) over the last twenty-two games of the season, earning the seventh in 2001 Stanley Cup playoffs. True fans do not just remember the amazing serious win over the Detroit Red Wings in the first round, they remember what the Kings did to get there.

Still want to question my loyalty and dedication to this organization? Well then, let us talk about this season.  This was one of those seasons when nothing went right.  I should have seen this coming a mile away, all the signs were there . . . well, actually just one sign.  As you may recall, the Kings opened the season in London, England for two games against the Anaheim Ducks and the first game was delayed about a half-an-hour because, well, because they could not get the lights to come back on after the national anthems were sung.  Then after a brief stint in first place, the downward spiral began.  Sure, there were some high points:  Anze Kopitar proved he is a legitimate superstar, Patrick O'Sullivan showed signs of being the great player he has been touted as for so long, Jonathan Bernier showed flashes of brilliance in his limited action, Brian Boyle showed that he will be a force to be reckoned with up the middle, and Dan Cloutier's contract expired.  There was even the surprise of Erik Ersberg, who was called up after Jason LaBarbera's season ended due to injury and posted respectable numbers (6-5-3, 2.48 GAA, .927 save percentage).  I even got to attend the Kings-Sabres game that the Kings won 8-2 and at one point had seven goals to the Sabres' eight shots.

But, in general, this season did not go well.  It is not like the Kings were predicted to be a division winner, or even make the playoffs.  They were, however, expected to compete for a playoff spot and it was not out of the realm of possibilities that they would make it in as an eighth seed.  Instead, the were competing for last in the league and the number one overall pick.  Now, most experts have stated for sometime that Steven Stamkos, the expected number one pick, is the only NHL-ready difference maker in this years draft.  Well, the Kings could not even lose right this season.  The Kings were out of it by early January and proceeded to go a decent run from the end of January to late February.  In the end, they finished tied for last with the Tampa Bay Lightening and lost out on the number one overall pick.  Yet there I was, to the bitter end.  In the stands, or in front of the television, I was cheering on my Kings.

Still want to question my loyalty and dedication?  I did not think so; just do not go there.  Now, if you will excuse me, I will be scouring the Internet between now and June 21st trying to figure out who the Kings are going to take with the number TWO overall pick . . . and if know Dean Lombardi, it will be someone with second-round talent . . . ugh, I will save that for another day.

Fore!

I am playing a little hooky today, "working" from home. My brother's wedding is right around the corner so I am "forced" to attend his bachelor party this weekend in Vegas. Do not worry, I am not actually taking the time to post from Vegas . . . I would just be getting back to room at this hour. I head to Vegas tomorrow morning for the one day swing. Today, we golf.

Like all other sports, I enjoy golf. In fact, I am able to call myself a college athlete because of it. Now, do not go thinking that I shoot lights out on daily basis, constantly breaking par (never done that), but I am better than average. After college, however, between going to law school and becoming an attorney, I have not had the opportunity to keep my game at the level it once was. But do not think that will stop from taking an afternoon off, grabbing the clubs, and playing around. Do I get frustrated more often now? Yes. Do I have to actually pay for the rounds now? Yes. Am I able to enjoy the game more now that I am playing more for fun as opposed to competition? Well, let us see how I play first. If my session at the driving range yesterday was any indication, it should not be that bad. So, while I am out hitting "the links" and enjoying the sun, here are some things to help you get through the rest of your Friday:

• Please ASU, think of the children.
• Will you go to prom with me? If yes, spank left cheek.
• Do you think Ronaldo can sue for false advertising?
• "That whole thing . . . will be jammed with people, fifty thousand or so, and most of them staggering drunk. It’s a fantastic scene – thousands of people fainting, crying . . . and fighting with broken whiskey bottles.” Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 . . . Kentucky Derby?
• You think this looks tough? You should have seen the time I played a round of golf with a hang nail.
• Karl Malone likes 'em young.
• Crack, hookers, professional sports . . . so goes the life of "Straw".
• Good to see that things are still going well for Lenny Dykstra.

And for your Friday viewing pleasure, well, I hope you like baseball. These following videos are of some guy who is really good at impersonating professional baseball batting stances. So good in fact, you could make a drinking game out of it . . . oops, I forgot we are all at work. So, unless you are uber-good at guessing the players, you will probably want some sound.

• For all you St. Louis Cardinals fans out there.
• For all you New York Yankee fans out there.
• For all you Boston Red Sox fans out there.
• And, a "Best of the 1980s" montage.

As an added bonus, and for those of you who do not like baseball, here is a bonus video:

• Greatest exercise video ever!

Have a great weekend everyone!