In the Dark, There Is Light

As you may recall from last week's Link Dump, the Chief decided to run a little "investment" experiment with the Red Sox.  Something about betting on them to win every game I think.  In that gem of a post, he provided the following commentary:  "Worst case scenario, Red Sox start the season in a slump and early profits are not high enough to offset the losses and the nest egg dries up."  For those of you following along at home, the Red Sox have yet to win a game.  Ouch.

But the night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promised the Chief, the dawn is coming.  For starters, the "brain trust" is out today, so the Chief has already lined up wings, beer, The Masters, and the late innings of the Red Sox/Yankees game during his lunch hour.  By my calculation, that right there gives the Chief more wins than the Red Sox.

And then we thought we would help cheer up the Chief a little more with one of his favorite things: attractive women.  The Chief's dad is a very successful businessman and his role model (bare with us, we're getting to the ladies).  One strategy the Chief learned from his dad, and which he has incorporated into his running of this website, is how to make people feel like they are making decisions while actually doing what he wants.  He is sneaky like that.  It goes like this: (1) the Chief asks you your opinion on what should be done; (b) the Chief "thinks about" the options he was presented; (iii) the Chief chooses his idea.  To top it off, he is so polite about it, you do not even realize he has totally disregarded everything you said until much later.  So, what does this have to do with attractive women you ask?  Simple.  In our March Madness Link Dump, we mentioned Esquire magazine was asking its readers to help it select 2011's "Sexiest Woman Alive".  It is the second straight year they have run this NCAA tournament-style bracket.  So, in April of 2010, the readers voted Brooklyn Decker the Sexiest Woman Alive.  Not our top choice, but we would hardly complain.  And what did Esquire do? They stole a play straight out of the Chief's playbook and, in November of 2010, declared Minka Kelly the Sexiest Woman Alive.  So, this year, when they ran the 2011 "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket, they made the slight change of asking readers to help determine "your" (the reader's) Sexiest Woman Alive, meaning that, come November, we can expect them to tell us who they think the Sexiest Woman Alive is.  So, even though 30 Rock hottie Katrina Bowden pulled off the upset over defending champion Decker, we can expect someone new in November.

Now, about those attractive women.  If you have not already noticed, what we did right there is list three women; three women that, within the last twelve month, have all been named the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire.  And when there are three women in play, there is only one thing for us to do.  That is right, dear readers, it is time for GameTime, TBD©'s next installment of M-F-K: the Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Edition.  So, we would like to know who of these sexy ladies you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Brooklyn Decker; (b) Minka Kelly; and (iii) Katrina Bowden.

While the Chief mulls over his options, here are some things you might have missed from the previous week:

• Some people have a lot of extra time on their hands.  We here at GameTime, TBD© appreciate when they put that extra time to good use.
• Now THIS is customer service.
• New season, new foods to take years off your life.
• Troy Tulowitzki continues to be baseball's MVP of walk-up music.
• If you are a fan of the giveaways, mark these dates on your calendar.
• That trial regarding the former NL West outfielder (no, not that trial, the other trial) is getting a little weird.
• Speaking of extra time, when you are a back-up hockey goalie, you have a lot of extra time on your hands during games.  It is good to see Marty Turco putting his time to go use as well.
• For those of you worried about how Aaron Rogers would handle the NFL lockout, he seems to be doing okay; after all, he has a date with Destiny . . . [Editor's Note:  hardy-har-har]
• We always try to give you at least one feel-good story each week.  This week, it is the story of a ring large enough to be a bracelet.
• If arrest lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention. 

Ok, the Chief has "mulled" it over and believes the answer is clear.  He loves him his blonds and fears what diseases Derek Jeter might be incubating within his jock; talk about tainted goods.  So, Minka must go.  Also, as you may recall from our last M-F-K installment, the Chief has an unnatural fear of large boobs and the damage they might cause in the throes of passion.  While he is willing to offer Brooklyn a ride, he is worried about long-term brain damage from constant blows to the head . . . wait, what? [Editor's Note: concussion and bedroom sports, it's time to get serious].  So, Brooklyn gets the [censored] of her life and is shown the door.  Which leaves him with Katrina.  I mean, just look at that butt.  How could you not want to come home to that every night? [Editor's Note: truth be told, I already do.]  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.  Speaking of winners . . . 

• You. Are. Welcome.
• Rest assured, ladies, these men DO NOT speak for everyone.
• You can always count on The Onion to tell it like it is should be.
• I know I railed against April Fools jokes last week, but this one was actually worthy of being shared. 
• This commercial is only made better by the fact the Red Sox currently sit winless.
• And the whiff.
• Floor remains undefeated in epic battle with human heads.

Have a great weekend everyone!