One Game Down, Down One Game

Here are some of things we learned from last night's opener of the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Shark's playoff series:

1. The Kings are down one game to none.
2. It is going to be a great series.
3. Thirty seconds into the game, My Better Half had the nerve to say: "They're good.  I mean, no offense, but that was a nice play."
4. According to random homeless guys in San Francisco, "75% of teams that have won the Stanley Cup lost game 1."*
5. There is a very real possibility that the Chief can not be friends with any of his friends/family members who are San Jose Sharks fans for the next two weeks, give or take a couple of days.  The real question is: will they want to be friends with him when it is all said and done? Mostly said though . . . 
6. Three twenty-two ounce beers with an alcohol-by-volume of 9.5% or more will render a grown man relatively useless the next day.

Indeed, the Chief walked into to work looking like a man whose team lost an overtime playoff game last night.  It truly was a sight to be seen.  When asked for comment on the game he responded: "Shhhhh, do you have to yell?  I'm right here."  I guess the body does not recover like it used to when you are an old man.  And then I had to do something I am not proud of.  I said: "Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!"

His first look made me think I was going to lose my job.  But then we caught a glimpse of the Chief we all know and love.  He chugged his venti coffee, took a deep breath, and gave us his analysis.  He was pleased with the Kings effort, blah, blah, blah.  Glad they did not get down on themselves after giving up that early goal, yada, yada, yada.  And then he touched the third rail, saying "there is no way that Jarret Stoll should be suspended for the second game", which is a rumor circulating on Twitter right now.  He claims to have watched the hit one hundred times since the game ended (we wouldn't doubt him), and he maintains that it was an unfortunate result of Ian White being in a bad position at the time of the hit.  It is unfortunate when a play like that ends in an injury, but Stoll is not a dirty player.  That being said, the NHL, like every other league, is trying to crack down on "hits to the head" and I would not be surprised if the league sat Stoll for a game.  The Chief acknowledged he would not be surprised if that happened either but maintained his position that it was not warranted and also pointed out that, "if Stoll is suspended for one game, then Sharks defenseman Jason Demers should sit for a game for his non-penalized hit on Ryan Smyth.  Last time I checked, leaving your feet is charging, and throwing an elbow at a player's head would seem to constitute a 'hit to the head' in my book.  The only difference I can see is that Smyth was not hurt on the play while White was."  Pretty impressive that the Chief can link to sources while talking, is it not?  Oh, and he makes a decent point too.

And to prove that the Chief we know and love is still in there, he finished with "Now, get that Link Dump done so we can go grab some beer and wings; I could really use a little hair of the dog."  Ask and ye shall receive:

• Allow us to introduce you to the sport of Hurling with such phrases as "fractured eye socket," "had the finger reattached," and "shattered one testicle, had to have half the second removed".
• "Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi." 
• Major League Baseball looks at the data and discovers that, apparently, high-definition television are not going anywhere anytime soon.
• Your "Uplifting Story of the Week": prognosis good for partially-paralyzed outfielder.
• Hmm . . . did I ever bet on a University of San Diego basketball game?
• But what happens to the statue when he has to return the Heisman in two years?
• NFL Network trades Joe Theismann and Matt Millen for Mike Mayock and an announcer to be named later. 
• Did you mean "train wreck", Matt?
• Want to miss the cut at the Masters?  This yardage book should help.
• Speaking of missing the cut, I am going to go out on a limb and say it will take an impressive second round out of Kevin Na for him to make the cut after this. 
• I would not mind having Sophie Horn in my next foursome . . . wait, what?
• Should be much easier for Mike Tyson to eat those children now.
• Clijsters got hurt how?
• British courts are not afraid to order gagging as part of affairs? Kinky.
• Taking the phrase "sex sells" to a whole new level.

So, anyone interested in joining us for beer, wings, and whatever sports happen to be on television right now?  Ha, trick question.  You are all too busy reading this Link Dump, enjoying those links above, and getting ready to enjoy the videos.  But, if you would like to join us, drop us a line . . . once you have watched these:

• Have you watched the intro video to Kate Upton's website?  No?  You. Are. Welcome.
• Am I supposed to be surprised an unmanned tractor wreaked havoc in a Walmart parking lot?  
• Good to see the Royals organization's ability to fail extends beyond just their baseball team.
• As the title of the video suggests, is this even human?
• If you missed the first episode of Norm McDonald's new sports show (conveniently titled "Sports Show with Norm McDonald"), then you missed this.
• And if you missed opening day at Wrigley Field, then you missed this.  Of course, you might just have been too drunk to remember.
• Sounds like Mayor Viaragosa has some interesting plans for Los Angeles moving forward.  

Have a great weekend everyone!


*No homeless people were hurt in the making of this blog.