[Editor's Note: the title of this post is to be read like this, not like you're in a church service. That is all.]
College football started last weekend, the NFL officially kicked off last night, the NHL returns in a month, and it is still bikini season in Southern California. Life. Is. Good.
Another little-known highlight of this time of year is watching the Chief's great debate over fantasy football. I am not talking about him agonizing over which player to draft when (to be honest, I've always been impressed with his "just tell me who's been injured and I'll go from there" attitude when drafting). No, the Chief's great debate is always over how many leagues he should join. It is comical. Every year around early-August, the first invite comes in and, invariably, the Chief announces "I'm cutting back this year; it's time." So, it is time for us to ask the question: Chief, how did that "cutting back" go this year?
Survey says . . . [click].
On Wednesday, the Chief entered the GameTime, TBD© offices with quite the serious look on his face. Asked what the problem was, the Chief merely shook his head in disgust and responded "I just agreed to join a sixth fantasy football league." You read that right, his SIXTH (6th) fantasy football league. So much for cutting back. To be fair, up until Tuesday, the Chief had done a mighty fine job of limiting himself to the four leagues he considers most important: (1) the sixteenth season with his high school friends; (b) the big money "actual work" league that he has dominated for four years; (iii) a keeper league with GameTime, TBD© regulars Moneybags, Ballgame, and the rest of the extended-college crew; and (4) a league full of jackasses (true story). Little did the chief know that, on Wednesday morning, Grantland was going to introduce the world to a new type of fantasy football: The Bad Quarterback League. I kid you not when I say that, within minutes of that article being posted, the Chief's email and gchat exploded with invitations to join a Bad Quarterback League ("BQL"). How could he possibly resist a new type of league? I will not lie, the fact he was able to limit himself to only two BQLs is a bit of a miracle in-and-of-itself. But, nevertheless, here we are, one day into the 2011 NFL season and the Chief is juggling six different teams. Come December, the Chief is either going to be rolling in the dough, or having that awkward conversation with My Better Half about why her Christmas gift is going to be a little smaller than normal.
My oh my, it is going to be a stressful season for the Chief. But if there is one thing you know to be true, the Chief will never root for a player when facing his beloved Detroit Lions, no matter what is on the line. So, while help the Chief sort through his various rosters and make those final starting line-up decisions, here are some things you might have missed to help get you through your Friday afternoon:
- This one goes out to all of you who are (1) fans of the Lions, and (b) fans of an attractive woman wearing practically nothing. [Editor's Note: is underboob considered NSFW?]
- If you have not heard (what, do you live in a cave?), the Chief's man crush is missing a game for the first time in his career . . . and that is a tough break for Rick Reilly.
- Arian Foster might not care what you think about his fantasy stats, but the NFL certainly does.
- Do not know which teams to bet on this weekend? When all else fails, look to the WAGs.
- Just when I thought you could not possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this . . . and totally one up yourself. Thank you, Canada.
- Women set record for world's longest hockey game. Ten days long? Man, that is a lot of periods.
- Ah yes, the old "Do you know who I am?" defense. Never seems to work out like you expect it to.
- "Should Notre Dame's Coach Be Fired for Cursing?" Yes, you read that correctly.
- Your sports-related "Good Samaritan of the Week" award goes to these two college football players.
- Which, naturally, leads us to our sports-related "Not-So-Good Samaritan of the Week" award . . . look at that face, is anyone really surprised?
- Speaking of faces, look at this face. It screams cheater, does it not?
- Single and ready to mingle in England? Here is hoping that the two percent of your population that looks good in lingerie are also Newcastle United fans.
As if I did not feel bad enough for England already. First they had to deal with the heartbreak of the Chief declining duel citizenship when he turned eighteen. And now comes word that only two percent . . . TWO PERCENT . . . of their population looks good in lingerie? Ouch. Well, at least we have a collection of videos for you that look in anything and everything. I guess things are looking up for our English readers:
- The Onion Sports Network prepares you for the first week of NFL action as only the Onion Sports Network can . . . with rape jokes. Yikes.
- To help the Chief make it through the first week of football without Peyton Manning since 1998, here are three of his favorite Manning commercials: (1) laser-rocket arm, natch; (b) oh, CUT cut; and (iii) taking a hike.
- New Era is almost making me want to buy hats again, thanks to its Rivalry campaign, which has now brought us John Krapulewski and proof that 9-1-1 for rich people actually exists.
- You would think getting to bang Brooklyn Decker whenever you want would give you a cheery disposition, no?
- Soccer fail? Soccer fail.
- Who knew BMX biking was so exciting? Apparently these guys.
Before we bid you all adieu, we wanted to take a moment to remember all those lost ten years ago this Sunday on September 11th, 2001. The Chief was unable to come up with any words he deemed worthy enough to honor those who died on that, so he decided to add one extra video to this week's Link Dump. It is the opening moments of David Letterman's first show after the events that have changed our country forever. We remember those who lost their lives and give thanks for those who managed to survive.
Please, have a great weekend everyone!
