Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

Unless you live under a rock (in which case, you're probably not much of a GameTime, TBD© reader), you probably heard somewhere that John Calipari ditched Memphis for Kentucky (and Ashley Judd . . . nice). And to think that all it took was an eight-year, $31.65 million dollar contract, with a few extra perks (Ashley Judd? No? Bummer).

Now, you all know that the weekly Link Dump is usually reserved for the more, shall we say, "obscure" sports stories, but I had to take a moment to comment on this. That is because at some point during this past week, Calipari called Kentucky the "Notre Dame of basketball." Putting aside for a moment the fact that, last time I checked, Notre Dame had its own basketball team, who died and made Kentucky the "most storied" program in the history of college basketball (at least that's what I'm assuming Calipari meant when he made that comparison, not that he thought Kentucky was actually in South Bend, Indiana and was a Catholic private school . . . but hey, free throws don't matter either right Cal?). Those Kentucky apologists out there claim it is the program's history that makes then the greatest, so let us see what history tells us.

It is true that Kentucky has the most victories all-time (1,988), the most conference titles (49), the most NCAA tournament appearances (50), and the most tournament victories (100 . . . but wouldn't that naturally flow from having the most tournament appearances?) . However, the SEC has long been considered a football conference and only three SEC schools have won NCAA basketball titles (Kentucky has 7, Florida 2, Arkansas 1). Kentucky's thirteen Final Four appearances are only fourth best and their tournament winning percentage is only sixty-nine (hehe) percent. There are a few other programs, like UCLA, North Carolina, and Duke, that might think they are at the top, and they all have compelling arguments.

North Carolina, for example, is not too far behind Kentucky for most victories (1,982), is tied for the most Final Fours (18 . . . with UCLA), has won 33 ACC titles (a much more competitive conference), and appeared in the NCAA tournament a record twenty-seven straight years from 1975 to 2001. They have also won four NCAA titles and have won seventy-one percent of their tournament games (in 41 appearances). Conference rival Duke's resume does not look half-bad either. The Blue Devils have the fourth most victories (1,876), the third most Final Four appearances (14), and the highest NCAA tournament winning percentage (75% in 33 appearances). They have also won twenty-one ACC titles, three national titles, and have sat atop the AP rankings for 110 weeks, second only to UCLA's 148 weeks. Which, of course, brings us to UCLA. Yes, I know UCLA only has the eighth most victories (1,672), but it does have the most NCAA titles (11), is tied for the most Final Four appearances (18), and once had an amazing 88-game winning streak (which was, ironically enough, snapped by . . . Notre Dame). It has also won thirty conference titles in a much more competitive basketball conference (the Pac-10 has had five teams win national titles) and is second in NCAA tournament winning percentage (74% in 43 appearances). And UCLA even had to deal with the Steve Lavin era.

So John, why not let Notre Dame be the Notre Dame of college basketball, and you worry about your own backyard for a while. And while the folks here at GameTime, TBD© debate which program is the best, here are some things the rest of you might have missed:

• In non-sports related news, Offer "You Following Me Camera Guy?" Shlomi gives hooker the old Slap Chop. Sham, WOW!
• Close on the heels of the U.S. Pole Dancing Championships comes word of a war that I can definitely get behind.
• Finally, some sound advice for the Lions and what to do with the number one overall pick.
• With Cutler in Chicago now, here is a nice little history lesson on the Bears and quarterbacks.
• The best show you are not watching (and I'm not just saying that because it might have the hottest female ensemble since forever) will be back for at least two more seasons.
  
• Put all your money on Michigan St., immediately. [Editor's Note: not ACTUAL gambling advice]
• Come on guys, was your season so bad that you really had to start shooting your own?
• The Pittsburgh Pirates have to be feeling real good about their farm system right about now.
• Ah yes, it is the age-old question: when is it appropriate to change Rick to Dick?
• I see you are skilled in the ancient arts of manipulation and seduction.
• If I dated an underwear model, I would be "popping a second cork" too (ba-ZING!).
• It takes a real man to lay-up on a Par 3 (with a little appetizer for your viewing enjoyment).

Now that your appetite for viewing enjoyment has been properly wetted, let us move on to the main course. We have a fine selection of choices this week, including one rare clip that was thought lost forever:

• How did Guitar Hero commercials go from this to this?
• I would take 9 minutes out of my day for Norm McDonald's awesomely-uncomfortable (and surprisingly dated) monologue from the 1998 ESPY's any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
• A Brewers' fan is courageously keeping the world safe for bikini-clad sunbathing girls, one home run ball at a time.
• Dear Goalie, Today I own you. Very truly yours, Linus.
  
• Excuse me. Coming through. Got a package people!

Have a great weekend everyone!