There is nothing quite like the Friday before a holiday weekend. For all we know, our avid readers could have decided to skip town early. Why have a three-day weekend when you could make it four? Regardless, we do not do this just for our avid readers. We created GameTime, TBD© to make the world [wide web] a better place, one post at a time.
Not to brag, but I can not even begin to tell you how awesome this weekend is going to be . . . but do not think that will stop me from trying. So awesome is this weekend going to be, I think it deserves a name. Henceforth, Labor Day weekend 2010 shall be known as the "Weekend of Awesomeness". [Editor's Note: Wow, someone drank the creative juice this morning.] When bestowing on something a nickname as awesome as "Weekend of Awesomeness", some explanation is necessary. Allow me.
The first, and perhaps most obvious, reason this weekend is going to rock: the return of college football. For all intents and purposes, my Better Half has the next fourteen Saturdays all to herself. Thankfully, she will choose to spend some of those Saturdays with me, and not bankrupting our family on an entirely new wardrobe and hanging out with her best girlfriends, but for the most part I will be spending my Saturdays (1) glued to the couch, (b) at the Rose Bowl, or (iii) both (1) and (b) between now and the first week of December. Try as she might to convince me to do something else [Editor's Note: oh, she has her ways . . .], I need only point to section II, paragraph 4, sub-paragraph (G)(ii), clause 5 of our only slightly technical prenuptial agreement, which I am confident she read as thoroughly as our Congress reads legislation before voting on it, that states: "the Better Half hereby agrees that, beginning with the first week of college football season and lasting until the later of (1) UCLA's last game or (2) the National Championship game, the Chief shall be excused from performing any and all marital duties on each and every Saturday during the above defined period and any and all necessary travel days to accommodate UCLA's football schedule . . . ." It, of course, goes on to list the penalties for violation of this provision, but there is no need for bedroom talk here. [Editor's Note: If only Frank McCourt had asked me to draft his Marital Property Agreement . . . but I digress . . .] So if you need to reach me on a Saturday over the next four months, you should probably just try to get in touch with my Better Half instead.
The return of college football, while enough to make this a "Weekend of Awesomeness", is not the sole reason we are amped for this weekend. In fact, I will be taking my UCLA watching on the road to Chicago, to hang out with my Better Half and BFF. If you have been to Chicago, no further explanation is necessary. If you have not, well, sucks to be you. We are taking the red-eye out tonight and will be spending the weekend hanging with the BFF, her boyfriend, and her adorable baby girl. Throw in rubbing elbows with some professional athletes [Editor's Note: MLS players are considered professional athletes, right?], staying with Agman and his wife, and fulfilling one of my life-long dreams of finally getting
Regardless of how awesome my weekend is going to be (did I mention it's going to be awesome?), we still have to get through the rest of this Friday together. So while I go make sure I have all my travel documents ready, here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time:
- This is not the first time Rachel Uchitel has been black-balled in the past year. [Editor's Note: Hey-OH!]
- It is good to see that the Nitty Lion mascot is already in mid-season form.
- Instead of the normal cupcake opponent that many major schools schedule for the first week of the season, LSU gets UNC's second team.
- If you are attending the Colorado-Colorado State football this weekend, make sure you leave the sizzurp outside.
- This kid's dreams of earning a Division I football scholarship end on account of being an adult.
- I feel like a 2.5 karat diamond would stick out on a football field, no?
- No, no Terry, tell us how you really feel.
- Did not respond to the lawsuit? I would have thought its lawyers knew "truth" is a defense to a libel claim.
- Gary Bettman wants players to stop accepting those ridiculous deals being offered by his GMs and owners. Cause, you know, it is the players' fault.
- "Well I can think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo, live or stuffed; preferably stuffed for safety sake. And three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge [and throw in a 25-acre fire.]"
- Here is a story for all you golfers to remember the next time you "forget" about that ball you hit out of bounds.
- Kid Rock is still alive? AND singing?
- When people have too much time on their hands, *stuff* gets weird.
- One good Billy Madison reference deserves another.
- We are suckers for any sort of trick-shot compilation. This week? Super Cool Bowling Awesome.
- A lot of people felt the need to get punchy this week [Editor's Note: we can neither confirm nor deny they heard about the "Weekend of Awesomeness" immediately prior to the events you are about to see]: (1) finally, an MLB fight that does not suck (Gaby Sanchez, for the win); (b) mullet-wearing fan of "the U" believes he can fly (Spoiler Alert: he can't); and (iii) New York tool versus the rest of the U.S. Open crowd (who you got?).
- Sean Penn goes between two ferns.
- Is Roger Federrer the new Peyton Manning of commercials? [Editor's Note: Don't you dare talk about my man crush like that; Roger Federrer will never match this, this, or this, just to name a few.]
- Epic. Football. Fail.
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