Before we get into the goods, a note to my female readers: you will find no references to the Brett Favre/Green Bay Packers saga in this weeks Link Dump. You can thank my Better Half for that. Every Sunday morning in the fall, when I turn on a football game, the first question out of my Better Half's mouth is "Are the Packers playing?" It is not like she is a Packers fan . . . oh, no . . . she just wants to know if she will be bored for the next three hours or if she will get to gaze longingly at the legend that is Brett Favre for the next three hours. I will be the first completely heterosexual male to admit that Brett Favre is a good looking dude, but talk about a punch to the gut. I am getting a little queasy just thinking about it. So, without further ado, here are some non-Favre related things you might have missed:
As much as I hate the evil empire, I really do love their e-Ticket features.
Gretzky versus Montana for the right to throw to Smith? Ah, only in my hometown.
If you are willing to make the down payment, I am willing to let you stay in one of the guest houses for a night . . . but just one.
While this is reason enough to get a Wii, I think I will stick with actual beer pong.
In an effort to increase female viewership, Desperate Housewives star and Tampa Bay Rays third-baseman (I personally think that's a little sexist) Eva Longoria selected to the American League All-Star team.
Of course, the week would not be complete without a little something for your viewing enjoyment. It was a slow week in the video department (unless you're a big fan of people getting injured while riding their bike), but I still found a few treats to help you get through the afternoon.
For all you California drivers, I hope you remembered to get your new hands-free device.
If this was 1998, this kid would never get laid. Lucky for him, it is 2008. (eds. note: this video is 8 minutes long, but will be appreciated by anyone who has played Guitar Hero on any level.)
Since my intro got my reminiscing about TGIF, here is a little number you might recall.
Have a great weekend everyone!
[Update: Just found one more article that is really touching. If you only have time for one link this week, make this be the one.]
Ah, the Fourth of July. The day where we, as Americans, celebrate the 1996 Jerry Bruckheimer-produced action extravaganza Independence Day. We take the time to remember the sacrifices made by Randy Quaid and the heroism of Will Smith. We contemplate how we ever let Bill Pullman be a film actor (or get cast in a role as the President of the United States), and we wonder if Jeff Goldblum is like that all the time, and whether or not that would effect whether or not we’d like to meet him. We think of how far Mary McDonnell has come, now serving as the President of the twelve colonies on Battlestar Galactica, and . . . wait, what is that you say? We are actually celebrating America's independence? Well that makes more sense; I had always been a little confused on why Congress had gone out of its way to honor a movie.
Well, regardless of whether you are celebrating Bruckheimer's Independence Day or our Independence Day, unfortunately you will have to suffer through one more week without a Link Dump. But that should not matter because I know all of you will be out at a BBQ tomorrow, rocking out to The Boss, maybe some Neil Diamond, enjoying the day we celebrate this country's declaration of its independence (well, there is actually some debate on what officially occurred on the 4th. Most believe that it was the date the Declaration of Independence was signed but that is unclear. It is for sure the date that the Continental Congress voted to publish the Declaration, which indicates that it may have been signed prior to the 4th . . . but I digress) from the country in which I was born. Do not worry, I have been a full-fledged naturalized citizen since day one . . . you have not been supporting some foreigner. My dad had been transferred to England as part of his job for a couple of years and I just happened to pop out while they were there, surprise!
Anyways, please have a happy and a safe Fourth of July weekend. Here is a little something to help get you through the last few hours of today.
It has been a tough year for the . . . err . . . "family jewels" so far. No, I am not talking about my "family jewels" (though they have been known to take an arrant knee every now and then from my Better Half), but rather those of many professional athletes.
This epidemic of testicle-related injuries (wow, never thought I would ever type the phrase "epidemic of testicle-related injuries" . . . I'm starting to feel a little sick to my stomach) began back in baseball's string training. That is when we first learned of the tragic tale of Chicago Cubs' outfielder Felix Pie (pronounced P-eh) and his twisted testicle. Apparently the twist was so severe that Pie had to have corrective surgery to fix the problem. I can bring myself to even type a brief description of the procedure, so you can go read about it yourself.
A little over a month later, Patrick Thoresen became a household name for a different reason than he would have preferred:
If you had the stomach to watch the video, two observations: (1) you have to feel bad for Mr. Thoresen (more on that in a moment); and (b) I do not think those male fans would be cheering if they knew why Thoresen was not getting up. As thisDeadspin post (appropriately titled "Do Protective Cups Even Help Anymore?") notes, "Thoresen got hit with the puck right in the peach basket, which dented his "protective" cup and left severe bruising" and almost result in the removal of his right testicle. Ye-owzers! [editor's note: if you have not seen the demonstration video for the Nutty Buddy, do yourself a favor and check it out . . . if you dare.]
Of course, in soccer, the nut shot is not very uncommon. You likely recall this video from a prior Link Dump, and you may have seen this video of David Beckham making another player question his manhood. It is about the only time in soccer you do not think someone is flopping.
So why I am I bringing this up now you ask? Because in the past twenty-four hours we have had two more confirmed cases of this terrible epidemic. First is the sad story of Yadir . . . no wait, Benji . . . Jose? There is three of them? . . . the sad story of Jose Molina getting crossed up on a Mariano Rivera fastball and catching it (get it, catching it? He's a catcher, and he "catches it" . . . ah, nevermind) where it hurts: Though there have been no reports on the injury, other than to his pride, I can only imagine how Molina feels this morning.
But then, my dear readers, there is the most tragic tale of them all. If you are aspiring to be a major league catcher, you might want to consider changing your mind. Arizona Diamondbacks' catcher Chris Snyder was placed on the 15-day disabled list yesterday because of something I cannot even bring myself to type. So I'll just copy and past the following quote: "the Arizona Diamondbacks put left fielder Eric Byrnes and catcher Chris Snyder on the 15-day disabled list on Tuesday. Byrnes is out with a strained left hamstring, Snyder with a left testicular fracture." I did not even know it was possible to fracture a testicle. But I guess when you take a foul-tip to the groin, bad things are going to happen. Snyder is scheduled to have surgery today, but is unclear whether we will wake up half the man he used to be.
Since Congress has been all to eager to stick its nose into sports lately, I think they should form a commission to look into this new epidemic. The future of our race may be in danger. Sorry if I have ruined your day.
