. . . and to all a good night. I know that is not the exact quote, but we try to keep things politically correct here at GameTime, TBD© and we like to think we have attracted a diverse readership. That would mean not everyone coming across our little corner of the World Wide Web celebrates Christmas and we are fine with that.
This here is our last official Link Dump of 2009, and that means it is the last official Link Dump of the first decade of the twenty-first century. I am sure you all have noticed the gluttony of "Top __" lists floating around the Internet over the past month or so, all relating to what the biggest deals of the last decade were. If you have come looking for our "Top __" list of the decade, we are sad to say you might be a little disappointed. For starters, the Chief has not decided if it would be too cliche to write up a list of things that happened over the past decade. He is still going back and forth on the whole idea.
We had hoped to get a final answer from him this morning, but . . . well . . . yesterday was his birthday and a long lunch with some colleagues and a dinner with more than a few glasses of wine have left the Chief moving a little slow this morning. In fact, on several occasions we have had to poke him just to make sure he is alive. Turns out he is. The Chief has vowed to live his last three hundred and sixty-five days of his twenties to the fullest, and he certainly appears to have kicked it off with a bang. Good big or go home, that is what the Chief always says, and it is amazing he has not learned to regret those words. We think, however, his mission is more driven out of the fear of actually turning thirty than just actually enjoying his last year of the twenties. So we are turning to you readers who may have already turned that corner, or those who are familiar with someone who has, for a little advice. Should we be worried? Are there any signs we should be looking for that might indicate the Chief is falling off the rails a little bit? Is there anything we can do to make the transition smoother or do we just let him run head first into his thirties like he used to do with cupboards as a child? [Editor's note: true story . . . explains a lot.] Nothing is off limits right now. We love our Chief and we want to make sure he is primed and ready to make his thirties just as great as his twenties. [Editor's note: I think we've just found our "Top __" list, The Top __ Things of the Chief's 20s . . . check back early next week when you're in the office doing anything and everything you can to NOT be working.]
So, we are off to go poke the Chief yet again and start collaborating on this list about his twenties. This can only go one of one ways: UH-MAZING. In the meantime, here are some things you might have missed from this past week:
- Marisa Miller backstage at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show certainly gets me in the holiday spirit.
- Tiger gets support from the one guy he was hoping for . . . I think . . . probably not.
- Did you know Tiger has been on the front cover of the New York Daily News for twenty straight days? Do you know the last time that happened? 9/11. Between the pending divorce and this, I am willing to wager his streak will not end anytime soon.
- My Jimmy Schwartz is trying to motivate his Kitties the old fashioned way: telling them they suck.
- Mack Brown got a small raise recently and [*gasp*] the rest of the Texas faculty is not too happy about it.
- At this rate, I would not be surprised to see the Alabama government declare Marshall Law for a week. God bless my Alabama brethren.
- Speaking of lawyers and the law, here is your legal lesson for the day: eminent domain.
- Dear Juan, In recognition of your hard work in keeping us alive while Manny was out, we are sending you to Chicago for no one in particular. Xoxoxo, The Dodgers. P.S. Happy Holidays.
- Missouri basketball players get all punchy with a Missouri cheerleader . . . but it is not like you think.
- Screw you guys, I am going home. Ah, ah . . . screw you . . . home.
- I have heard of a lot of strange things happening during workouts, but this takes the cake.
Since it is the Holiday Season (capitalized? not capitalized? who cares), we thought it would be best to go with (almost) all holiday-themed clips. If these do not get you in the mood for a great Christmas (if that's your thing), then I do not know what will.
- Gift ideas from the Chief's man crush? Priceless.
- Tiger finally clears the air. [Editor's Note: STRONG language.]
- If only all Christmas shopping was this fun.
- "Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says 'Peep Show', that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at the new toys before Christmas."
- To this day, it remains the greatest gift idea ever. [Editor's Note: remember, username: gametimetbd@gmail.com, password: gametime]
From "all of us" here at GameTime, TBD©, we wish you and your family a happy, healthy, and safe 2009 Holiday Season.
Happy Friday to you all. I hope everyone is surviving this crazy weather we are having . . . well . . . pretty much across the country. At our weekly GameTime, TBD© "staff meeting" this morning it was decided that this will be the second to last official Link Dump of 2009. Apparently, some people were not to thrilled with the idea of trying to put something together for Christmas or New Years. "But what about our Jewish readers?" I replied. Then I discovered when offices close for Christmas, that means everyone stays home. Turns out New Years also falls on Friday. I thought it best to let my "staff" sleep it off that day, rather than putting together some rambling, incoherent Link Dump. So, next week will be the last Friday of 2009 for us to provide you with your weekly does of news and entertainment (it also happens to be the day after the Chief's 29th birthday . . . hint, hint . . .).
Yesterday morning, a nice young man (we'll call him Matt . . . if only because that's what his name tag said) woke up and said "I have to remember to go to my shelf-stocker job at Vons this afternoon." Meanwhile, somewhere across town, it was decided that I would stop and do the grocery shopping after work, while my Better Half spent the day cranking out a take-home (seriously?) final. Now, if you know me (which you obviously do by now), you know that I am a huge popcorn fan (borderline snob). And I am not talking about that microwaveable crap. No; I am talking about the fresh kernels that are popped over an open flame on the stove. Now, back to Matt. Matt went about his day as usual, got work, and began the tedious process of restocking shelves and helping old women reach cans of soup. Then, at about 6:53 p.m. PST, Matt took that fateful turn down the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle, where he ran into me. The conversation went something like this
The Chief: Excuse me, do you know if you have any non-microwave popcorn in the back?
Matt: Whatever we have is already out here.
The Chief: Really?
Matt: [*reaching for bottom shelf*] We have this bag of kernels right here.
The Chief: [*giving the old "really?" expression*] Is that it? You only have Safeway brand?
Matt: Sir, I can assure you the Safeway brand is a quality popcorn.
The Chief: Have you ever had it?
Matt: No.
The Chief: So then, would it be fair to say that you can neither confirm nor deny whether the Safeway brand popcorn kernels are of equal quality to Orville Redenbacher kernels?
Matt: I guess. [*giving the old "what did I do to deserve this?" expression]
The Chief: Okay, well, I know what I am about to say is going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of apples, but between you and me, the two are not even close. Write that down.
Matt: I don't have a pen.
The Chief: Well, remember that then. In the mean time, I'll take what I can and enjoy this Safeway brand popcorn to the best of my ability.
Matt: Well, have a nice night, sir. [*giving the old "I hope you get mowed down in the parking lot by that old lady I just helped who clearly shouldn't be driving" look*]
I know what you are all thinking right about now and, yes, it is true, I did direct him to Orville Redenbacher's Wikipedia page in the middle of our conversation. And, to be quite honest, I think that is where I lost Matt. I think I was about to win him over, but that was just a little too far. But at least he learned something at work yesterday, and that is something he can thank me for next time I pacing the Peanuts/Popcorn aisle looking for my Orville Redenbacher popping corn. And since I was nice enough to teach Matt something this week, here are some things to help make you more informed sports fans:
- In the spirit of the Holiday Season, we start with Marisa Miller in the December issue of Access magazine. Have I ever heard of Access magazine? Who cares.
- While the Senate is stuck debating health care reform, the House has moved on to more important things.
- Brian Kelly's former players wish him nothing but success at his new job.
- Tennessee expects me to believe these chicks are not running the spread offense for high school recruits?
- Speaking of hostesses, here is a brief history of their use at various colleges.
- Penbrook will not tolerate Steelers fans in their county . . . oops, nevermind, apparently they forgot about that whole First Amendment thing. Honest mistake.
- Your "Chad Ochocinco is the most amazing professional athlete ever" update of the week.
- Yesterday, there was some tragic news out of Seattle. Brace yourself.
- I am officially considering a career change.
- What could possibly go wrong?
- Tracy McGrady has yet to play in a game this NBA season. Keep that in mind when reading this headline.
- "Bonds' agent concedes slugger's playing days are over." Now, who gets to go tell Barry?
- High school volleyball player lets one get past the blockers, gets benched, sues school. Talk about your no-win situation.
Okay, level with me, should I be feeling guilty about last night? No? Good, I did not think so. I mean, I am not being crazy here. Orville Redenbacher versus Safeway brand? There really is no comparison. Good, thanks for the support. Moving on. Here are some clips for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully, you do not think they suck:
- Selection Sunday at the BCS Headquarters went about as well as anyone expected.
- "Well, a bet's a bet." Only the finest live in the South.
- Let me see, goalie scores a goal? Check. Goalie runs the length of the field to celebrate? Check. Teammate gets on top of him and simulates sex? Check.
- My lone mention of Tiger this week: the Tiger Woods Anthem.
- I have said it before, and I will say it again: local commercials rule.
- "Why the Internet is Great" reason number 1,763,459: videos like this.
- David Letterman sent out his first official tweet this week, as only David Letterman could.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Actual work (sucks) is going to keep the fine folks at GameTime, TBD© from getting a full Link Dump out to all you fine individuals today. We apologize. But the Chief had a few things he wanted to say real quick before giving you a few videos to at least make your Friday afternoon a little more bearable.
Had we been able to compile a complete Link Dump for you today, undoubtedly fifty percent of the articles would have been related to Tiger Woods and his inability to keep his drives from going down the wrong fairways. Yes, Weiss and (Body by) Mangino were fired; yes, AI is back in Philadelphia; yes, the BCS still sucks; yes, T.J. Simers proved, once again, he is the only Los Angeles Times writer with a brain; and yes, my Better Half and I did watch Marisa Miller and the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show together (your honor, we offer into evidence defense exhibit #1,420,693 as proof my Better Half is awesome: "Alessandra Ambrosio? I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed." The defense rests). However, I am estimating that three out of every five sports articles written this week were about Tiger. As my parents always said, "Nothing good happens after midnight", and when that nothing good happens to the first billion dollar athlete, people seem to take notice. Look, I love that I can make a Tiger Woods' joke now and it brings down the house (did so 3 times last night alone), but I am not about to attack a man's personal problems on the World Wide Web. Yes, I am in the, apparent, minority that believes Tiger is right in requesting we respect his privacy.
But here is what I did want to say: it can not be easy growing up these days. I was a lucky kid in that I had to great parents that I can proudly call role models. But many kids (is that divorce rate still hovering around 50%?) are not that lucky. Instead, they turn to athletes, musicians, and celebrities. Last time I checked, there are not that many good ones out there either (though, to all you ladies age 18-and-over, I strongly recommend Rihanna [*wink*]). And now, perhaps the one man we thought was a good role model, is about to shell out another fifty-five million dollars just to convince his wife to stick around for at least five more years (Elin, take the $30 million and the 3-iron and just tell him to have a nice day). The folks at IMG had done a pretty nice job of packaging Tiger as the perfect man: the best in his sport, generous, and a great family man. And yes, we all make mistakes and no one is perfect (except my Better Half). Yet, while I am still a fan of Tiger Woods the golfer, it is sad to see what has become of him as a person in one week: someone I would not want my yet-to-be-conceived son looking up to.
Sorry to get all heavy there on you for a moment, but like I always say (and it's good to know DP feels the same way): if you need to have a pre-nuptial agreement, you probably should not be getting married in the first place. And with that, here are some video clips to help make at least part of your afternoon a little better:
- Just your average lunch break around the BCS offices.
- Tuts my barreh. [Editor's note: that's what she said!]
- Still debating whether the Slap Chop is the perfect holiday gift for that special somebody? Maybe this will help you decide.
- Looks like he zagged when he should have zigged.
Have a great weekend everyone!
