I We Todd Did

It was a banner night in the GameTime, TBD© house last Friday night. My Better Half flew the coop and head off to San Diego for a "girls weekend", leaving me all alone as the king of my castle. Unfortunately, the plans for my big group orgy fell through, so that left my calendar pretty open. As you know, I was fully prepared to watch Coco host The Tonight Show for the last time, but how I was going to pass the time before it started was a complete mystery. Well, as life often does, the answer became clear the minute I got home.

For starters, my Better Half had ever so nicely sorted the dirty laundry in the bedroom. Now, I am not nearly as smart as she is, so it took me a while to decipher the code, which, as it turns out, was "Do the laundry." But laundry is not something that requires constant attention (unless sitting in your garage and watching a machine shake is entertaining to you . . . but then, I'd assume you're not reading this blog . . . but I digress), so I needed something to pass the time while the washing machine worked its magic. And that is when I saw it, right there on my DirecTV channel guide: the season finale of Jersey Shore. One word: UH-MAZING! I had never watched any of the season, but had heard plenty about it from the likes of BFF and Barnicle, one of my oldest friends. Barnicle had even hosted a Jersey Shore season finale viewing party the night before. As the show progressed, I could literally feel the brain cells in my head dying off. Then, out of nowhere, J-Woww (an actual character nickname) described her ideal man as a "juice-head gorilla", and when she went to the beach to find her some man meat, she inquired "Where are all the juice-head gorillas?" And that was when it happened, my IQ took a fifty point hit; that, and I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, I stuck around for Jersey Shore: The Reunion. I mean, who does not need to learn about the art of fist pumping? This is serious people, the beat wants to fight you so you have to beat the beat up. To think, for the longest time, I thought this was a big spoof; now I know it is real.

What I am trying to say is this: if I seem M.I.A. for the next week or so, do not be afraid. It just means my daily G.T.L. schedule has gotten the best of me. Speaking of which, I am running a little late on the daily schedule. So, while I head out to get my G.T.L. on, here are some things you might have missed to keep you entertained (and smart) for the rest of the afternoon:

• If you had Ray Maualuga in the "Next Cincinnati Bengal to Get Arrested" pool, you may collect your winnings now. Pays double if you also had "DUI in a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire."
• If you see this man in or around the Miami area on February 7, 2010, please contact your local police station. He may be rocking out a great set list.
• "Saintsmania" has permeated the city? EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES (or just take the week off).
• "This is not Detroit, man. THIS IS THE SUPER BOWL." Yes, I am offended (not really).
• I heard his wife had already bought the shears.
• Three words I never thought I would write together: transgender sodomy lawsuit.
• If you are lucky, this man will be playing for your NFL team come next season. Congratulations.
• The SEC is not a fan of fans who love their schools in moments of great triumph.
• Talk about one of your all-time backfires. [Editor's Note: Make sure to watch the video as well, and then check out what happened while the news reporter was filming his intro to the story.]
• This is a story of a cursed high school hockey rink.
• Not too long ago, Charlie Davies was lucky to be alive. Now, it is possible he will be back with the national team in time for the 2010 World Cup.
• Meanwhile, this guy probably will not make it to South Africa this summer.
• It always comes full circle with sex offenders.
• I am sorry, Jim Nantz said what?

Seriously people, one week of G.T.L. and I am feeling swolle' and looking good. All I need is some 'roids so I can complete my transformation to juice-head gorilla; just the man my Better Half has always wanted. Now, I just need to get my hair cut so I can load it up with twenty pounds of gel. I do not want it flopping around while I am out at the clubs beating up the beat. So, while I try to find my local Guido Cuts, you should enjoy this collection of clips for your viewing pleasure:

• I hope, for your sake, your college does not have to play the mighty Nanooks of Alaska, Fairbanks this season.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, I have found myself wondering what it would be like to compete in the Skeleton. Oh look, the answer.
• A decently funny Lonely Island spoof. Never thought it could happen.
• I am sorry, they have tremendous what?
• I am thankful there are people out there with may too much free time on their hands.
• Perhaps all celebration music should be this great. Oh yeah, nice goal too.
• And, yes, we can not have a post about Jersey Shore without one or two shockingly accurate representations of what the show is all about.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Great Googly Moogly

We are running a little behind schedule this morning (borderline afternoon), but that is not going to stop us from getting some entertainment headed your direction. No judge, no matter how long-winded or how meticulous, is going to stop GameTime, TBD© from getting you your weekly source of entertainment, or as you call it, the Link Dump.

Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said.], a brief comment on the Pacific 10 Men's Basketball Conference . . . or as I now call it, the Wac-10. The Wac-10 is appropriate for two reasons: (1) I think any team from the Western Athletic Conference (the actual WAC conference) could compete in the Pac-10 this season; and (b) things have gotten just down right wacky in the conference this season. Everyone (and their mother) knew the Pac-10 was going to have a down year in terms of overall performance, but no one knew it was going to get this bad. The conference is a combined 5-13 against AP Top 25 teams this year and all teams are within two games of the conference lead. California and Arizona State (really?) are tied for the league lead and Washington, the preseason favorite to essentially runaway with the league, is struggling at 3-4 in the league after last nights last-second loss to UCLA. Oh, UCLA.

It seems like only yesterday you were playing in your third-straight Final Four. After watching you struggle through your non-conference schedule (5-7), you started Pac-10 play with a surprising win over Arizona State. Then you got blown out by Arizona, and that pattern has continued; a nice win in your mid-week game, a blow out loss on the weekend. Yet I can not quit you. At 3-3 in the conference, you are right there in the mix. Now if only you would string a few nice games together with, oh, I do not know, a little effort. You might be surprised at the result.

So with that being said, I encourage you to follow the Wac-10 for the rest of the season. Not because of the great basketball you are going to see, but rather because of just how crazy-bad things are. But before you go boning (hehehe . . . bone) up on your Wac-10 information, feel free to check out some things you might have missed:

• In non-sports related [read: hot-chick related] news, the world was rocked by news that Marisa Miller would parting ways with Victoria's Secret. Thankfully, Victoria has since stated the story is false. What would we have done without this?
• I did not realize "ambiguous sexual characteristics" required the creation of "special medical centers". I thought the five o'clock shadow (amongst other "things") usually gave it away.
  
• Are you ready for the AFC and NFC championships? The Sports Guy certainly is.
• You too can see JaMarcus Russell's c-cups for just a handful of beads.
  
• Hey Rueben, how have you been spending your time since being cut by the Giants? Oh, I see.
• With all the "hostess" hoopla going on in the SEC, Mississippi State is going a different route to attract recruits. [Editor's Note: sorry in advance for the picture.]
  
• I really wish this was a link to a story by The Onion. Sadly, it is not.
• While most Major League Baseball players are trying to get off the juice, Miguel Cabrera is trying to get off the sauce.
• Maybe he can get together with Hammer.
• Sportsmanship at its finest . . . if by finest you mean fouling the other team to keep the clock from running so you can still reach one hundred points. Karma's a bitch.
  

Sorry we are a little light on links this week. Between running behind and the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is football, things were a little scarce in the creativity and humor department. So, in our infinite wisdom (someone's got to have some, right?), we have decided to give an extra large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure on this very wet Friday:

• John Daly (looking svelte as ever my man) weighs in on Tiger Woods 'cause . . . well . . . why not?
• This was the "Highlight of the Night" on Sports Centre . . . no, that is not a typo.
  
• You know that we are a suckers for a good nut shot . . . no matter how long ago it occurred.
  
• Could 2010 be the year of win? . . .
  
• . . . Guess not. Remember kids, crack kills.
• With the Olympics right around the corner, it is good remember the great moments we are likely to see (besides wardrobe malfunctions of course).
• David Letterman proves yet again he is his writers are still the funniest in late night television [Editor's Note: don't forget to watch Coco's final show on NBC tonight.]
• Speaking of Coco, he is on a mission to spend as much money as possible during his final week at NBC. Here are attempts one and two.

Have a great weekend everyone!

This Sucks

I am sorry to say, the fine folks of GameTime, TBD© have been swamped and will not be able to get you your weekly dose of entertainment and news, more lovingly known as the Link Dump. We hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us. We were looking forward to it because of all that has transpired this week (seriously, of all the weeks . . .). If by chance the storm breaks in the near future, we will see what we can do.

But rest assured, we will never leave you empty handed. Our lone offer this week is Stephen Colbert and Mark McGwire's case of "pussy eye" [Editor's Note: his words, not ours]:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sport Report - Gilbert Arenas & Mark McGwire
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

Have a great weekend everyone!

Look What I Found

Here at GameTime, TBD©, we strive to bring you not only entertaining original work and weekly news, but also inside scoops that might not be available elsewhere.

I was enjoy lunch at my office desk last Friday, reminiscing about the fabulous Link Dump we had completed earlier in the day, when I nearly choked on my sandwich [Subway, eat fresh]. I had swung by ESPN.com to see if anything exciting had occurred and Chris Mortensen was reporting that Pete Carroll was leaving USC for the open Seattle Seahawks coaching position. I will admit, I was a little surprised when the Seahawks fired Jim Mora, Jr. after only one year, and it made sense that they would only fire him if they had someone lined up already, so I could see the validity in the Mort Report's . . . err . . . report. But I believe an ESPN scoop about as often as I believe the hot bartender is actually hitting on me and not just working for a bigger tip [read: not often]. Plus, these Pete-Carroll-to-the-NFL rumors happen every year and, as a UCLA fan, I have gotten tired of hoping he makes yet another bonehead decision and actually leaves for the NFL. But when I head Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News' Inside USC claim, while it was not official (because Seattle still had to comply with the "Rooney Rule" . . . is there any bigger sham in the NFL than the "Rooney Rule"? . . . what a joke . . . but I digress, something for another day), Carroll to Seattle was a "done deal".

Even though I am a UCLA guy, I, like everyone else in Southern California, know more than a few people who attended USC. Some of them annoy me to no end, while others are actually decent human beings. One such person is my buddy TR. He is one of those rare USC alums who, while a die hard fan, is down to earth and can talk evenly about SC and UCLA (like I said, rare). He, like many of the educated, knew Pete Carroll was a . . . err . . . not nice person, but put up with it because they were winning. TR is also a guy who always knows someone. Need tickets to something? TR can get them. Want to get into the newest and hottest club? Not a problem for TR. We all have a friend like this. So when the news broke, I immediately sent TR a text to see (1) how he was doing, and (b) what, if anything, he had heard from inside the USC Athletic Department. He, like most SC football fans, was praying it was not true but promised to get back to me once he talked to his "guy in the athletic department". Well, as promised, I received an email yesterday with some interesting details. This whole thing is one big power play pulled by the Board of Trustees, who are fed up with the job Mike Garrett has done. Here is the text of the entire email fromTR's "guy in the athletic department":

"Here is exactly what is happening, in a nutshell:

The early success of Pete Carroll ["PC"] created a chain reaction at USC. Whereas before, Mike Garrett was extremely hands-on in his treatment of football, he decided to let PC run the show without any interference. Further up the food chain, the University gave Garrett free rein to give PC free rein.

PC had unprecedented control of the football program. He often talked about that fact as why it was superior to being in the NFL. He could get any player he wanted into school, he raised funds for his own projects, he decided who his staff would and wouldn't be, he pushed for upgrades to facilities, he did everything in his style, with no restrictions, etc., etc., etc.

Over the course of time, there were issues. Players acting like fools (as they often do), investigations, PR embarrassments, etc. Individually, they were able to be handled without any problems. But over time, their accumulation started to create a perception that PC wasn't in control of things and that, indeed, NO ONE was in control.

Now, when [former basketball coach Tim] Floyd was hired, Garrett (in his infinite wisdom), decided to take the same hands-off approach with basketball. His [theory] was that if you leave your coaches alone, they'll succeed. As a result, there was zero oversight over basketball, as with football. Of course, this came back to bite Garrett on the ass, as Floyd (left to his own devices) got the program into trouble.

This is when the Board of Trustees started having enough and started demanding that Garrett re-assert his control over these two sports. Then, a few other PC pecadillos hit the grapevine and by the time the McKnight story hit, the University was well on its way to going over Garrett's head to take back control of what they saw as an out-of-control situation. This is why you saw University PR and legal handling Floyd's issue and McKnight's issue.

As all this happened, a movement started growing among the Trustees to use this whole process to get rid of Garrett and replace him with someone like [former USC quarterback and current Trustee] Pat Haden. Garrett did not have control of his coaches and his coaches were embarrassing the University. [Garrett] was brought into [USC President Steven B.] Sample's office at one point and Sample ripped him a new asshole. Garret, in an effort to show he had control, started getting involved in football and basketball and the [transition has] not been good as PC hasn't had to deal with Garrett butting in for most of the last eight years.

In the end, PC left because his most coveted possession--total control--was on the way out. He would've no longer been able to get whoever he wanted into school, he was going to have to relinquish control over how he did some things and there was going to be meddling over who could be on his staff and what kind of discipline would be instilled over the program.

Feelers started coming to PC during the season and when the offer from Seattle finally came, he took it. Simple as that. It was, in his mind, the best option available to him as he would no longer be able to be himself (as he saw it) at USC. Furthermore, it is in his nature to want to compete and proving himself at his true love--the NFL--has always been in his heart.

There will be some dirty laundry aired in the next few months. [Editor's Note: As Yahoo! Sports is reporting, the NCAA has concluded it's investigation of the USC Athletic Department (focusing on football and basketball), and this same guy has assured us sanctions are coming (likely in the spring) and they will be "disastrous".] But that is really not the reason PC left (though a lot of things contributed to the effort of the University to take back control)."

Take what you will from that email, but I thought I would at least share some of my thoughts: (1) I do not care what people say, the pending sanctions absolutely had something to do with Carroll's decision to leave; (b) if we needed any additional evidence that Carroll is a douche, I think we have it; and (iii) it appears time for Mike Garrett to update his resume.

It will be interesting to see what comes of USC's coaching search. There are already reports that the search is in the hands of Pat Haden and Trustee Chair Ed Roski, not Mike Garrett, and the pending sanctions against the program and/or athletic department will not make it any easier. A lot of names are already floating around (TR is begging for Boise State's Chris Peterson, but I don't see him leaving the friendly confines of the smurf turf with all that is going on at USC with NCAA and the fact Boise St. has a legitimate shot at the national title next season). Although he is denying it, my money is on former-USC linebacker Jack Del Rio. I know he has fifteen million reasons to stay with Jacksonville, but, as noted in last week's Link Dump, his job is not exactly secure at this point in time. I would not be surprised to see some financial settlement occur, whereby Del Rio "resigns" from the Jacksonville coaching position (a man has to keep his dignity) and becomes the new coach of the USC Trojans. So, I would like offer this one piece of advice to Mr. Del Rio when he begins his formal negotiations with USC: do not forget to ask for the house on The Strand.

[Editor's Note: here's your fun fact for the day: Mark McGwire (yes, that Mark McGwire) played baseball for USC from 1981 to 1984. The starting catcher those years? Why, that would be none other than Jack Del Rio. Grab a napkin, homie. You just got served . . . with knowledge.]

Off and Running

Happy New Year everyone! The folks here at GameTime, TBD© hope you all had happy, healthy, and safe 2009 holiday season. We certainly did.

About this time of year, all the magazines are telling you how to make 2010 the best year ever. Their first piece of advise is usually to cut down on the New Year's Resolutions, make them more reasonable. Well, the just would not be the Chief's style. No, no. At current count, there are five resolutions, and most of them are the usual resolutions (loss weight, make my Better Half as happy as possible, blah, blah, blah). But on of my resolutions was brought front and center during the first week of 2010. Who could ask for more?

The resolution I am talking about now is this: I would like to see GameTime, TBD© play some role in making the (sports) blog-o-sphere a more responsible arena for the sharing of information to the masses. There is no denying that sports blogs are here to stay and that they have reached the level of mainstream media. Many have the ability to break news or bring stories to more people faster than most normal channels of media. That is why many of the creators of the more popular blogs have been offered positions with more established media outlets (ESPN, SI, etc.). But there is one thing the sports blogs tend to do that established media outlets do not: post news and information with little to no fact checking.

Case in point: if you watched the Fiesta Bowl on Monday night, these ten seconds flashed across your television screen during halftime. Almost instantaneously, the blog-o-sphere was put to action, posting links to the video, creating animated GIFs, and generally having fun at the expense of a girl who seemed to be playing a pretty uninspired cowbell (really, explore the studio space this time). I saw the moment during the telecast and thought nothing of it. I saw the ten-second clip on most of the blogs I visit regularly and thought something just did not seem right; and I was right (she's never even been to Mt. Vesuvius). For the better part of six hours, many posts, hundreds (if not thousands) of emails (I got 5 myself within the first hour from some friends), and probably millions of comments were made about "Sad Cowbell Girl". And believe you me, most of the things people said were not nice.

Yes, I know around these parts we have fun at other people's expense quit frequently; I am not claiming to be some angel. But most of those videos we post are people doing stupid things (and yes, we have more for you today . . . 2010 starts with a bang). I am not trying to say that we should stop people from putting that ten-second clip on YouTube or what not. I am just saying that many of the sports blogs out there need to realize they are part of the mainstream media now. Some people turn to them more than ESPN or CBSSports or SI these days. And yes, I dream of a day when GameTime, TBD© plays a role similar to that (maybe I should consider putting a little more time into it then . . . hey, wait a sec, that's right there at #3 on my resolution list, go figure). So it is time that we all accept a little more responsibility for our actions. Thankfully the Boise St.'s cowbell player is blind, so she will only ever know what people tell her. She will never see those things that have been written about her. But her family will, and so will her friends, and I, for one, do not want to be a part of making anyone feel sad, hurt, or angry (unless they bring it upon themselves by letting someone video tape them doing something stupid and not destroying the evidence immediately thereafter . . . then you totally get what you deserve).

I am sure 2010 is going to be a great year of sports and the bloggers of the world will play a large in that. So I am calling on all of us to make sure we take whatever extra steps necessary to ensure that we are contributing to the greatness, not taking away from it (Fox is going to do plenty of that on its own, they don't need our help). With that, here is my first contribution to 2010:

• I do not know when this picture of Marisa Miller and Brooklyn Decker was taken . . . and more importantly, I do not care. You. Are. Welcome (assuming hot attractive female blonds are your thing).
  
• The title says it all: "10 Fictional Sporting Events We'd Pay Good Money to Attend". [Bonus: includes video.]
• The NBA would like to remind you that guns do not kill people, gambling debts that lead to people brandishing firearms kill people.
  
• Let me see, that makes four career touchdowns and four career arrests. Matt Millan's brilliance astounds me.
• Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio will interview next week for the head coaching position in Jacksonville. Wait a sec . . .
  
• Apparently whales are beaching themselves in Kansas City these days. I did not even realize Kansas City had beaches.
  
• Too bad for you, I submitted my resume yesterday morning. Rest assured, Sara Tetzler, your job is safe.
• Looks like Tennessee will not be fielding very many competitive teams next year.
• If you take only one thing from this article, let it be that the Baseball Writers Association of American has a Secretary Treasurer. And they wonder why everyone else thinks they are full of themselves.
• Countless (read: 5) fans will be devastated by this news.
• Why God, why?
• Tough break for those of you who took Houston (Lee) High +134. They almost had it.

I think my favorite quote in that last story is the one where the Yates' coach talks about not wanting to be a bad coach. I totally understand where he is coming from . . . not. That guy totally deserves to get punched in the face (I hear Jim Leavitt is available to help me out). Speaking of getting punched in the face:

• It is "The Best Fails of 2009" (long, but totally worth it).
• And we have an early candidate for "The Best Fails of 2010".
• Amazing goal . . . no amazing goal . . . no, amazing goal.
• DJ Steve Porter (whose first and second appearances on GameTime, TBD© were two of your favorites last year) is back with more goodness.

Well, there you have it. We are officially off and running in 2010. Have a great weekend everyone!