I . . . Was . . . Ruh-ning

Announcer Voice: "Hailing from Redondo Beach, California, he measures in at six feet, two inches and weighs a svelte 230 pounds. He runs a popular sports blog out of his mom's basement office. Wearing bib number [censored], please welcome Th-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ef!" [*fanfare, fanfare, fanfare . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . applause, applause, applause*]

That is right, my friends, in just under ten weeks [Editor's Note: TEN WEEKS?!?!?!?!?!], the Chief will hit the streets in his first official half marathon. I do not know how it happened exactly, but one Monday, a little over a month ago, the Chief walked into the office and declared "I'm running the San Francisco Half Marathon." At first there was laughter; it was just the Chief trying to lighten the mood around the office on a Monday. The look on his face, however, made it clear this was not a joke. The laughter was not because we thought he could not do it. This is a guy who can accomplish anything he actually sets his mind to. It is just . . . well . . . the things he normally sets his mind to do not involve running 13.1 miles. Beat Goldeneye in a single night? Sure. Tackle the "Century Club"? Naturally. Create a moderately successful blog focusing on hot chicks and sports? Consider it done. But, run a half marathon? Get out of here.

Well, as it turns out, he was serious about it, and is now seriously preparing to pound major pavement on July 25th. He has spent the last month working on his overall fitness (something he has been doing most of the year) and this week he started his official ten-week training program. His goal is to finish in under two hours, which translates to just over nine-minute miles. He did run cross country in high school, so that is not a completely unrealistic goal. But high school was ten years ago [Editor's Note: TEN YEARS AGO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!] and about fifty pounds. Regardless, we are behind him one hundred percent and we hope sincerely hope all our dedicated readers will get behind him as well . . . except, of course, for all of our hot female readers. The Chief would like you to stay in front of him . . . you know, as motivation. Especially my Better Half . . . wait, what?

Anyways, we think he can do it. And we will do what ever we can to make sure he keeps pushing through all the ups and downs of training. That means we better get started on finding ways to keep him motivated (A video remix of Forrest Gump running to Flock of Seagulls? Sure, why not?). So while we start our search for motivation (and, please, feel free to email us with anything you think might help), here some news stories you might have missed from the past week:

• We lead off with a hot girl from Massachusetts [Editor's Note: They exist?] with a sports connection. What could be better?
• Finally, someone was willing to write a well thought out piece about performance-enhancing drugs . . . to which the average person will respond: "Oh yeah? Well, Barry Bonds still sucks."
• At this point, it appears Armstrong is the only person in the Tour de France NOT using PEDs. Interesting . . .
• Daniel Nava [Editor's Note: who?] is hopelessly devoted to Erin Andrews. GameTime, TBD©, on the other hand, is just hopelessly devoted to pageviews.
• The sad truth that baseball games take far too long was recently scientifically proven as true as only such things can be scientifically proven: an amazing bet amongst friends.
• It is always nice to see a local sports team support the other local teams of the other sports. And then there is Pittsburgh. First there was the unsolicited offer to buy. Then there was the article by someone who has never heard of the concept "proportional response". And now its the public/other journalists turn to respond. You stay classy, Pittsburgh.
• Huh, a country enforcing its own immigration laws with little-to-no uproar. Weird.
• "They call it importing." As Mike Florio astutely points out, the Government would probably call it something else.
• Golf Cart 1, NFL Lineman 0.
• Anyone who thinks you can capture Gus Johnson's greatness in a non-live situation is sorely mistaken. Yeah, I am talking to you EA Sports.
• Dear Fellow Australian Rules Footballers, It is cool if you are gay, but please keep it to yourself . . . forever. Sincerely, Dude Rocking Bleached Hair With A Dark Beard.
• Shrimp with a fake gun versus giant rugby player with a chair. Who you got? [Editor's Note: with video goodness.]
• Snap into a SlimJim a second wedding.
• Guerdwich Montimer was truly committed to his lie.

You know, all this PED talk has got us thinking: maybe we should consider a little HGH/blood doping regimen for the Chief during his training. What do you think? Do you think they drug test amateur runners for inconsequential half marathons? Okay, we are just kidding . . . but seriously . . . kidding . . . seriously. You know what we think? You will enjoy this regimen of entertaining videos:

• If your coffee was not enough to get you going on this Friday . . .
• "Dude Perfect" (those basketball trick shot "dudes" from Texas A&M) now has corporate sponsorship. Really?
• This Nike commercial for the World Cup has been described as "bloated, overwrought, meta-referential, but sorta awesome". Indeed.
• Preteen? Wipes out on skateboard. Board? Snaps in half, jabbing him in a tender area. Balls? "[F-bomb]ing bleeding!" [Editor's Note: Language is, obviously, NSFW. If you want to see just how (un)supportive this kid's friends are, feel free to check out the full version. Maybe he should have stopped after the second try, no?]
• A week old, but still funny.
  
• WHAT?!?!?! No new "Week In Unnecessary Censorship"? What are we to do? Go with an old one? Good call.
• Wasted guy versus flip flops. Who you got?

Have a great weekend everyone!