Bite Your Tongue

I am not going to lie, I was a little stressed out this morning during my train ride into the GameTime, TBD© office.  The Chief usually wants to know what the Link Dump introduction subject matter is going to be first thing in the morning so he has the necessary time to research the topic before making the final edits and sending the post "to print".  Well, so many things happened this week, I was having trouble picking one.  Do I go with commentary on college basketball officiating or the latest controversy in the NHL regarding dangerous hits?  What about UCLA's complete failure to show up last night versus a lesser opponent?  To be honest, I was leaning towards the UCLA introduction.  For starters, officiating is an issue I could beat to death, revive, then beat to death again, and I would still feel unsatisfied and the Zdeno Chara hit might be a little too heavy for a Friday afternoon.  Plus, under those two topics, I am liable to say something that finally puts GameTime, TBD© on the map . . . for all the wrong reasons.  So I thought it best to bite my tongue and go with UCLA because, after all, in reliving the nightmare that was last night's game, at least I would get to reference Oregon's cheerleaders.  But then a funny thing happened while I was standing in line at Starbucks waiting to get my morning coffee . . .

I am always amazed by what people are willing to talk about while out in public.  As you know, one of the the Chief's biggest pet peeves is when people talk on their cellphones in elevators.  It is not just because he is stuck in a tiny cube and forced to listen to someone yakking away that drives him nuts; it is often the conversation the people are having.  You might recall the time he was forced to listen to a woman discuss her friends . . . errr . . . "exploits" from the previous evening (which include such classic lines as "And he just thought you'd let him stick it there the first time?").  Nasty.  Or there was the girl on the treadmill next me telling her friend all about how she was going to seduce the father of the kids she served as part-time nanny for.  Charming.  And I can not even begin to go into the ridiculous conversations I hear on the train.  I wish I could claim I was a compulsive eavesdropper, but unfortunately people just talk loud.

Which brings me to this morning, in the lonnnnnnnnnnnng line at Starbucks, where I had to listen to the woman in front of me talk to her co-worker about her ex-husband's mission to buy their child's love.  Any thing that child wants, his father buys him: video games, sports equipment, clothes, blah, blah, blah.  And she did not think it was fair because he was the big-shot executive with all the money.  How could she compete?  After about five minutes (did I mention it was a lonnnnnnnnng line?), I almost felt like I was entitled to give my opinion on the subject.  It was, after all, your classic tale of man bones secretary, wife finds out, man hires better divorce attorney, you know the rest.  For what it is worth, I thought perhaps the husband felt guilty about the trouble he brought on his family and was trying to make it up to his kid, albeit with material things.  But before I could get there, I got Captain Over Share's opinion (and I quote): "Do you think he found out I've been sleeping with Steve and is now trying to turn [our son] against me?  I mean, I know he's good friends with Steve, but Steve promised he wouldn't say a thing." You stay classy, random woman at Starbucks.

Look people, I am very familiar with the "these are all strangers, I'll never see them again, so what do I care what they hear?" line of reasoning.  But strangers or not, there is such a thing as common courtesy.  And I want to hear about your personal life about as much as you want to hear about mine.  There is so much going on in the world to talk about, why not save the personal stuff for the privacy of your office or your car? So please, random people of the world, learn to bite your tongue . . . or you might find your exploits being posted on a random blog for all my avid readers to enjoy.

Speaking of things for my avid readers to enjoy:

• In non-sports related news, apparently the internet has made it more difficult for people to hide their "I used to be a porn star" pasts.
• Your "No duh!" link of the week: apparently we should be paying more attention to women's surfing.  [Editor's Note: for the sake of . . . ummm . . . journalistic integrity, we have confirmed that, yes, Alana Blanchard doesn't mind showing a cheek or two while surfing.]
• Oh, NCAA, if there is one thing you do so well, its hypocrisy.  [Editor's Note: read both the main article and then the supplement reaction from the author.]
• Come on, Bill James, you can never completely eliminate the human element from an equation.  [Editor's Note: or, as long-time friend of the program Ballgame put it, the "crapping the bed" element.]
• Wow, it sucks to be from the Ohio Valley Conference.
• “[Stanford] accommodates athletes in the manner that they accommodate students with disabilities.”
• Apparently it has been a rough spring training for players' rides.  [Editor's Note: anyone else think we should start using the word "purloined" more often?]
• Well, I am glad we got that all cleared up.
•  For all those people out there who think it is crazy for the NBA to talk contraction, I present you with this:  Blake Griffin is able to sell out a New Jersey Nets game while Kobe and Lebron play to a half-full arena in Miami.
• Maybe he liked the view?
• I think Aston Villa should change their mascot to the "Hermit of the Holte End".
• He must be crazy. A love-hate relationship with the McRib?

It feels good to be back up and running at full capacity post-vacation.  We were planning to spend part of this Link Dump apologizing for our lack of a full Dump last week, but word on the street is that Ms. Upton was a sufficient apology.  Should we be offended?  While we debate this in the privacy of our office, here are some videos to help you make that final push to the weekend:

• WINNING!
• Tom Brady proudly invites you to "Dance Party, U.S.A."!
• Worst. Sportscast. Ever.  At least have the common decency to drop a catch phrase that will live forever, fellas.
• If being stuck in the office all day has got you down, here is a four-minute walk across the Appalachian Trail.  If nothing else, it is a beautiful look at the longest foot trail in America.
• Call the travel, ref!
• This is fantastically fake (I hope) . . . but also a reminder to be careful when stealing someone's parking spot (you know, like put your top up).
• Nothing like an awesome mash-up to get our weekend started off on the right foot.
• Someone could create a video of Jennifer Aniston sitting on a park bench reading and I would probably still post it here.  But, thankfully for you, SmartWater made a funny video with "Jen" Aniston instead.  [Editor's Note: and, yes, I would have gladly auditioned for the role of "Nut Shot Guy" . . . too much?]

Have a great weekend everyone!