Hello friends. Well, sadly, actual work has once again reared its ugly head, and that has left the writers here at GameTime, TBD© without enough time or oversight to bring you your weekly dose of entertainment, also known as the Link Dump. But what would a Friday be without a little entertainment and, more importantly, a heated debate amongst friends?
As most of you know, the Chief is a legs and butt man. A woman with a nice set of stems will drive him wild. This developed mostly out of (1) his love for petite women, and (b) his fear of the damage that can be caused by a set of large knockers. Do not get me, he is not about turn a blind eye to what a woman has going on up top (after all, a lot of them paid good money for those), but he has an unnatural fear of getting knocked unconscious by an arrant boob shot to the head. [Editor's Note: seriously, try as you might, you will never be able to convince me that a set like these couldn't kill a man. I mean, I could think of worse ways to go, but still . . .]. Plus, a nice pair of legs and a shapely butt usually tend to indicate that the woman takes care of her body, so you are likely to find the rest of her very appealing as well.
Well, if we are talking about the Chief's preference in women, and we do not have enough time for a full Link Dump, that can only me one thing. That is right, dear readers, it is time for GameTime, TBD©'s next installment of M-F-K: the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee ("IBTC") Edition. So, we would like to know who of these "IBTC" members you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Kristen Bell; (b) Keira Knightley; and (iii) Natalie Portman.
We asked the Chief to provide us with his analysis, so here we go. Three beautiful women, all with great legs and butts [Editor's Note: boy, researching for this post was really tough . . .], and a top half proportionate to their body? You can not really go wrong here. That being said, those of you who know my preference in women, and know my Better Half, know that I will be marrying Kristen Bell. No point in trying to pretend otherwise. As part of our inevitable prenuptial agreement, I would negotiate a clause requiring her to walk three feet in front of me at all times just so I could constantly be checking her out her backside. I mean, is that not why we gentlemen live by the motto "ladies first"? Personally, I think the Japanese culture got it backwards by making women walk behind their husbands. You can not enjoy the view that way.
As for which one I [censored] and which one I kill, that is a bit trickier. If you had presented this scenario to me a couple of years ago, it would have been simple, Natalie Portman gets to taste the goods and Keira Knightley meets an untimely end. Natalie Portman was my first celebrity crush, dating all the way back to her roll as Matilda in The Professional. [Editor's Note: we're only 6-months apart age wise, so that isn't as creepy as it sounds . . . I hope.] The funny thing is, while Natalie Portman has peeked career-wise over the past few years, her curb appeal has dropped a little in my book. First, she went all boy haircut on us, and then she decided to go and get herself knocked up. Keira Knightley, on the other hand, is the model of consistency. The movie she is in might not be is not very good, but she is going to look good doing it and her accent rocks. All that being said, you know I am loyal to a fault. I wish I knew how to quit you Natalie Portman. [Editor's Note: her being in like eleventy billion movies this year isn't helping, that's for sure.] So, dear Keira, as good as you looked as pirate, it is time for you to walk the plank while Natalie walks my plank (Hey-OH!).
So, with that, we must cut things short and get back to life in the real world. We hope you are able to enjoy your Friday afternoon and the heated debate we know you are about to have with those around you. But with all this talk of legs and boobs, we thought we would leave you with one more relevant video, compliments of Spring Break 2011: "She's top heavy guys, she's top heavy."
Have a great weekend everyone!
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