I am not a big fan of change; not many people are. I do not fear change, like so many people out there do, I just do not like it. The biggest change I am dealing with right now is remembering to introduce my Better Half as my fiance and not my girlfriend. I am also coming to terms with the fact that I will never have a summer vacation again. As I flipped my calender over to May, I recalled how at this time last year (actually, this time every year for past 7 years...You know, a lot of people go to college for 7 years. I know, they're called doctors), I was getting ready to take finals and headed towards summer vacation. Sure, my summer "vacation" entailed studying for the California Bar Exam, but it was still summer and you can study outside in the sun. Now, as I stare out my office window, I see that June, July, and August are right around the corner and there is no summer vacation coming with it (ugh!).
The arrival of May also means that I have only a few more months until my lease is up and, come August, I will have to pack up all my "stuff" and move. I moved a lot when I was younger, so moving is always kind of hard for me. I usually get very attached to the place I live and hate to move. Thankfully, I do not particularly like where I am living right now (with the exception of the fact that I'm living with my Better Half), so I am actually looking forward to moving. It still, however, means yet another change in my life, and all these changes start to add up. As the changes begin to add up, I start to get more stressed. It is nice to know, then, that some things never change.
Opening the Los Angeles Times sports page this morning, it appears the Los Angeles Dodgers have once again finished April in first place in the National League West. Since I can remember being a Dodger fan, it seems as though every season, with few exceptions, the Dodgers are at or near the top of the NL West after April. You would think their fast starts would translate to success late in the season, but that is not the case. Since the Dodgers won the World Series in 1988 (I can remember it like yesterday, Gibby rounding the bases pumping his fist...the guy could barely walk), they have only made it the playoffs four times and have won exactly one (1) playoff game since then. They have been swept three of the four times they have made it to the post season since 1988. Pathetic. While I appreciate the Dodgers' early season success, I have learned to not get my hopes up. Let us wait and see where things stand in August, then I might get excited. After all, it is like my brother-in-law said after my Dodgers swept his Giants: "It's only April." (Speaking of the San Francisco Giants, I'd like to comment on Barry Bonds' chase to break Hank Aaron's career home run record. I hate Barry Bonds, more than I hate the Giants...and I hate them a lot. I have no doubt he's knowingly juiced it up in the past, and likely still does today. But here's the thing, I'm actually rooting for him to break the record. Baseball turned a blind-eye to steroids for many years...nearly a decade, if not longer. It was steroids that helped bring the fans back after the 1994 player strike. And now that baseball's most sacred record is dangerously close to being broken, by a personality (Bonds) that no one particularly likes, he's become the scapegoat for baseball's problems. I still don't like Bonds, but I want him to break the record so that major league baseball gets what it deserves....but I digress)
It is also nice to know that my Detroit Lions never change. I spent this past weekend in upstate New York visiting my grandparents, aunt and uncle. As an added bonus, my two cousins were also in town. One of my cousins is a huge Cleveland Browns fan, so we decided to take some time out of the weekend to watch some of the NFL draft. I was very excited to see what my Detroit Lions were going to do with the second overall pick (I guess it pays to have the worst record in the NFL since 2001), especially with the Raiders going after their franchise quarterback with the first overall pick. With so many options, I was holding my breath when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stepped to the podium and announced: "With the second pick in the 2007 NFL draft, the Detroit Lions select Calvin Johnson, wider receiver, Georgia Tech." [I'd like to take a moment to complement Roger Goodell on the excellent job he's done in his first year as NFL Commissioner. First, he's worked hard attempting to clean up the NFL's image, what with all the problems players have been having with the law lately (see, e.g., Adam "Pacman" Jones, Chris Henry, and Tank Johnson). He also made the classy move of inviting of Brady Quinn to stay in his private room during the draft when Quinn's stock began to stumble and the press began to pounce (I've never seen someone go from hate to love quicker than my cousin on Saturday...he was going to kill the Browns if they took Quinn with the third pick, he hated the idea of Quinn in a Browns uniform...but when they traded up for an additional first round pick to take him, it was instant man crush...with good reason I guess). We all remember watching Aaron Rodgers, a potential number one overall pick in the 2005 draft, sitting in the Green Room all by himself until he was picked 24th by the Green Bay Packers. Goodell wasn't going to let that happen.]
As you may recall, a couple of months I discussed how the only option was for the Lions to take Joe Thomas, an offensive tackle from Wisconsin. They had just traded for a right tackle and could strengthen the line with a left tackle. But at the time I was still focused on hockey and preparing for March Madness; I was not thinking straight. About a week ago, I started to focus on the draft and I began to realize taking Calvin Johnson was exactly what the Lions needed to do. First, I forgot that the Lions have Jeff Backus at left tackle. Their first round pick in the 2001 NFL Draft, Backus has started all ninety-six games for the Lions over the past six seasons. When they obtained Foster from Denver, the Lions had securely anchored their offensive line for years to come. A quarterback was not necessary that early in the draft, as quarterbacks picked early in the first round tend to be busts. Plus, Jon Kitna is more that a serviceable quarterback. He has a great presence in both the pocket and the locker room and threw for over 4,000 yards last year with Roy Williams and Mike Furrey (who?) as his primary receivers (plus, they took Drew Stanton in the second round). Yes, yes, I know it is the forth time in five years that the Lions have selected a wide-receiver in the Top 10. But as I told my cousin the day before the draft: one of the receivers (Charles Rogers) is no longer on the team; another (Mike Williams) played maybe eight snaps in the 2006 season (and was actually traded in the forth round of the draft); Calvin Johnson is, far and away, the best athlete in the draft (he's a freak); and, as the Indianapolis Colts proved last season, a great offense can win you a championship. Matt Millan, I salute you for a job well done.
Now all I have to do is start planning a wedding...breathe BAP, just breathe.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
You're My Boy, Blue!
I am currently in the process of writing two new posts, one regarding the Imus event and the other a recap of the Los Angeles Kings season. Unfortunately (while, at least for you, my readers), my free time over the last few weeks had been consumed by me planning a weekend trip to Monterey so I could propose to my Better Half (she said yes, of course...never any doubt...had to make an honest woman out of her eventually). While the writing of those posts may be slow moving, I do not want to leave you, my loyal readers, high-and-dry with nothing to enjoy. Thankfully, Will Ferrell was born.
I am a huge Ferrell fan. I know many of my family members will be shocked to hear that I have yet to see Blades of Glory (see, supra, planning engagement weekend excuse), but I plan to remedy that this weekend. I did, however, get to see Ferrell drop Meredith Vieira, host of NBC's Today, on her head while promoting the movie (you too can see it here). When I just think of all his great performances on the big screen (Zoolander, Old School, Elf, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Stranger Than Fiction), I can not help but laugh. His cameo in Wedding Crashers remains one of the most underrated performances in cinema history. I probably quote Will Ferrell, either from a movie or his run on Saturday Night Live, at least ten times a day.
So, since laughter makes everyday a little a brighter (wow, cheesiest line ever written on GameTime, TBD©), I thought I would pass along the following film short that Ferrell produced. I now present to you, "The Landlord." Enjoy!
[UPDATE: The embedded video was causing problems with the blog. I apologize for having to remove it. So, here's a link for you to follow if you would still like to watch it: The Landlord.]
I am a huge Ferrell fan. I know many of my family members will be shocked to hear that I have yet to see Blades of Glory (see, supra, planning engagement weekend excuse), but I plan to remedy that this weekend. I did, however, get to see Ferrell drop Meredith Vieira, host of NBC's Today, on her head while promoting the movie (you too can see it here). When I just think of all his great performances on the big screen (Zoolander, Old School, Elf, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Stranger Than Fiction), I can not help but laugh. His cameo in Wedding Crashers remains one of the most underrated performances in cinema history. I probably quote Will Ferrell, either from a movie or his run on Saturday Night Live, at least ten times a day.
So, since laughter makes everyday a little a brighter (wow, cheesiest line ever written on GameTime, TBD©), I thought I would pass along the following film short that Ferrell produced. I now present to you, "The Landlord." Enjoy!
[UPDATE: The embedded video was causing problems with the blog. I apologize for having to remove it. So, here's a link for you to follow if you would still like to watch it: The Landlord.]
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
And Poof...Just Like That, It's Gone
While Christmas may be the most wonderful time of the year, the first week of April is one of the worst times of the year. March Madness has once again come to an end and that means, besides Florida having won the national championship again (ugh), I am forced to work full weeks again (seriously, I think I've forgotten how to work a five day week....someone please help, I'm scared). It also marks, what I believe to be, the low point for sports every year. College sports are essentially done for the year, football is still five months away, basketball and hockey are in playoff mode, and baseball is left as the only sport to watch on television (and it's hard to watch baseball on television...and there's 162 games in a season, who wants to watch that many games?).
Making matters worse, as I look back on this year's tournament, there is a feeling of emptiness left behind. In fact, the happenings in college basketball post-tournament have been more enjoyable than the tournament was. Admittedly, I am biased by the bitter after taste I have in my mouth from the egg that UCLA laid in its second straight drubbing at the hands of Florida. But when you look back, was not the entire Final Four and Championship one big egg? What was touted by most experts as the best Final Four in years turned into three uninspired victories by teams I do not particularly care about (although Florida's victory did give Joakim Noah the chance to, once again, show the entire world just how retarded he is...thank you Joakim, your ability to confuse everyone will be missed next year). The tournament also lacked the usual "Cinderella" team that no one in the nation has heard about but wants to rout for. If you picked a bracket based on the favorites, you would have done fairly well in your pool, unlike previous years (if you're going through bracket withdraw, like I am, the boys over at Seattle's AM 950, KJR Sports Radio, have what you need...it's called "The Bigger Dance," and the winner gets two tickets to any sporting event in the world....Marisa Miller over Kate Beckinsale in the final...remember, you heard it first at GameTime, TBD©). Sure, I had a really great time traveling around with my friends and family to watch some of the games live, but I was never drawn to the television to watch other games. I only watched about twenty minutes of the national championship game, and that was because it was on at the gym while I ran on a treadmill.
On the other hand, look at what has happened since the tournament ended. Tubby Smith left all the racists in Kentucky for a more comfortable position at Minnesota. Everyone assumed that Billy Donovan would be leaving Florida after the tournament for the Kentucky job. But that did not happen. Donovan decided to stay, choosing a life of mediocrity for the next ten years (come on Billy, I thought you were smarter than that). Texas' Rick Barnes withdrew his name from consideration before Kentucky could even come knocking, which forced Kentucky to go with its obvious third choice, Mark Few from Gonzaga. This is a brilliant choice by Kentucky. What Few has done at Gonzaga with the minimal talent available to him is impressive. I, for one, can not wait to see what he does with the talent he can get at Ken...wait, what is that you say? Kentucky did not go with Mark Few? Then who?
Well, much to the chagrin of this Aggies fan, Kentucky went with Texas A&M coach Billy Gillispie. I was pretty surprised myself to see Gillispie go, considering he turned down a substantial raise from Arkansas to stay at A&M. And I am sure the disgruntled Aggies fan was extra excited to hear that Texas A&M had chosen Wichita State's Mark Turgeon to replace Gillispie. Then there is John Beilein, who left West Virginia for the vacant Michigan position after Tommy Amaker was fired. Beilein has been replaced at West Virginia by Bob Huggins, who accepted the position before the phone even finished ringing (there is no bigger Bob Huggins than my Mom....we're talking HUGE fan...ginormous...so big a fan, she's buying the Big East package from her cable provider...so big a fan, she built a Bob Huggins voodoo doll and instantly decapitated it). Both Beilein and Huggins have to pay their previous schools money for breaking their contracts. While Huggins gets saddled with a $100,000 expense for taking the job, Beilein has to pay $2.5 million back to West Virginia. All this, and the NCAA Tournament has only been done for eight days.
Wait, there is more? While some schools are losing coaches left and right, others are losing players as underclassmen declare for the NBA draft. Although the deadline to declare is not until April 29th, a slew of underclassmen have already declared. Most notably, the four Florida juniors I love to hate (Noah, Horford, Brewer, and Green) have declared, Kevin Durant declared, as did Glen "Big Baby" Davis from LSU, Spencer Hawes from Washington, Julian Wright from Kansas, and Josh McRoberts from Duke to name a few.
And then there is Aaron Afflalo. It had been a rollercoaster ride for AA since the end of the Pac 10 season, when he failed to show up for the last few UCLA games. Not what you want from your supposed team leader heading into the NCAA Tournament. Many believed he had played himself out of the first round of the NBA draft and back to UCLA for his senior season. Then AA led UCLA to an impressive victory over Kansas (not all to surprising that UCLA was overlooked by most experts once again), and many felt he had done enough to get back to the first round. But that was before UCLA played Florida in the Final Four (I just threw up a little in my mouth). As has become the norm with AA, he failed to show up for the big game. Sure he finished with seventeen points, but his first basket did not come until there was 6:13 left in the game (you read that right). He spent most of the first half on the bench in foul trouble. After watching that performance, many UCLA fans (myself included) were excited...Aaron Afflalo had played his way back out of the first round, would return for his senior year, UCLA would be returning its entire line-up, and adding the top-rated recruit in the nation. Third straight final four? Here we....oh wait, Aaron Afflalo declared for the NBA draft and will be going pro. Oh well, at least Kevin Love is still coming to town.
So, that of course, leaves UCLA with the following (likely) starting line-up for next season: Collison at point; Westbrook as the shooting guard (maybe Roll); Shipp at the three spot; big Kevin Love at four (I know what you're thinking, he should play the five spot...mark my words, he will dominate out of the power forward position...his outlets are Walton-esque); and your choice of Mata, Mbah a Moute, Aboya, and Keefe at five. Hey, this might now be so bad after all. I would think UCLA could be the team to beat next year. CBS seems to agree with me while ESPN continues to undervalue the ability of Ben Howland and the new UCLA dynasty. They should learn from Calipari, Sampson, and Self.
But that is neither here nor there because right now, I have got to figure out how to survive until next August. Any suggestions?
Making matters worse, as I look back on this year's tournament, there is a feeling of emptiness left behind. In fact, the happenings in college basketball post-tournament have been more enjoyable than the tournament was. Admittedly, I am biased by the bitter after taste I have in my mouth from the egg that UCLA laid in its second straight drubbing at the hands of Florida. But when you look back, was not the entire Final Four and Championship one big egg? What was touted by most experts as the best Final Four in years turned into three uninspired victories by teams I do not particularly care about (although Florida's victory did give Joakim Noah the chance to, once again, show the entire world just how retarded he is...thank you Joakim, your ability to confuse everyone will be missed next year). The tournament also lacked the usual "Cinderella" team that no one in the nation has heard about but wants to rout for. If you picked a bracket based on the favorites, you would have done fairly well in your pool, unlike previous years (if you're going through bracket withdraw, like I am, the boys over at Seattle's AM 950, KJR Sports Radio, have what you need...it's called "The Bigger Dance," and the winner gets two tickets to any sporting event in the world....Marisa Miller over Kate Beckinsale in the final...remember, you heard it first at GameTime, TBD©). Sure, I had a really great time traveling around with my friends and family to watch some of the games live, but I was never drawn to the television to watch other games. I only watched about twenty minutes of the national championship game, and that was because it was on at the gym while I ran on a treadmill.
On the other hand, look at what has happened since the tournament ended. Tubby Smith left all the racists in Kentucky for a more comfortable position at Minnesota. Everyone assumed that Billy Donovan would be leaving Florida after the tournament for the Kentucky job. But that did not happen. Donovan decided to stay, choosing a life of mediocrity for the next ten years (come on Billy, I thought you were smarter than that). Texas' Rick Barnes withdrew his name from consideration before Kentucky could even come knocking, which forced Kentucky to go with its obvious third choice, Mark Few from Gonzaga. This is a brilliant choice by Kentucky. What Few has done at Gonzaga with the minimal talent available to him is impressive. I, for one, can not wait to see what he does with the talent he can get at Ken...wait, what is that you say? Kentucky did not go with Mark Few? Then who?
Well, much to the chagrin of this Aggies fan, Kentucky went with Texas A&M coach Billy Gillispie. I was pretty surprised myself to see Gillispie go, considering he turned down a substantial raise from Arkansas to stay at A&M. And I am sure the disgruntled Aggies fan was extra excited to hear that Texas A&M had chosen Wichita State's Mark Turgeon to replace Gillispie. Then there is John Beilein, who left West Virginia for the vacant Michigan position after Tommy Amaker was fired. Beilein has been replaced at West Virginia by Bob Huggins, who accepted the position before the phone even finished ringing (there is no bigger Bob Huggins than my Mom....we're talking HUGE fan...ginormous...so big a fan, she's buying the Big East package from her cable provider...so big a fan, she built a Bob Huggins voodoo doll and instantly decapitated it). Both Beilein and Huggins have to pay their previous schools money for breaking their contracts. While Huggins gets saddled with a $100,000 expense for taking the job, Beilein has to pay $2.5 million back to West Virginia. All this, and the NCAA Tournament has only been done for eight days.
Wait, there is more? While some schools are losing coaches left and right, others are losing players as underclassmen declare for the NBA draft. Although the deadline to declare is not until April 29th, a slew of underclassmen have already declared. Most notably, the four Florida juniors I love to hate (Noah, Horford, Brewer, and Green) have declared, Kevin Durant declared, as did Glen "Big Baby" Davis from LSU, Spencer Hawes from Washington, Julian Wright from Kansas, and Josh McRoberts from Duke to name a few.
And then there is Aaron Afflalo. It had been a rollercoaster ride for AA since the end of the Pac 10 season, when he failed to show up for the last few UCLA games. Not what you want from your supposed team leader heading into the NCAA Tournament. Many believed he had played himself out of the first round of the NBA draft and back to UCLA for his senior season. Then AA led UCLA to an impressive victory over Kansas (not all to surprising that UCLA was overlooked by most experts once again), and many felt he had done enough to get back to the first round. But that was before UCLA played Florida in the Final Four (I just threw up a little in my mouth). As has become the norm with AA, he failed to show up for the big game. Sure he finished with seventeen points, but his first basket did not come until there was 6:13 left in the game (you read that right). He spent most of the first half on the bench in foul trouble. After watching that performance, many UCLA fans (myself included) were excited...Aaron Afflalo had played his way back out of the first round, would return for his senior year, UCLA would be returning its entire line-up, and adding the top-rated recruit in the nation. Third straight final four? Here we....oh wait, Aaron Afflalo declared for the NBA draft and will be going pro. Oh well, at least Kevin Love is still coming to town.
So, that of course, leaves UCLA with the following (likely) starting line-up for next season: Collison at point; Westbrook as the shooting guard (maybe Roll); Shipp at the three spot; big Kevin Love at four (I know what you're thinking, he should play the five spot...mark my words, he will dominate out of the power forward position...his outlets are Walton-esque); and your choice of Mata, Mbah a Moute, Aboya, and Keefe at five. Hey, this might now be so bad after all. I would think UCLA could be the team to beat next year. CBS seems to agree with me while ESPN continues to undervalue the ability of Ben Howland and the new UCLA dynasty. They should learn from Calipari, Sampson, and Self.
But that is neither here nor there because right now, I have got to figure out how to survive until next August. Any suggestions?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
An Open Apology to My Beloved Readers
My parents taught me many valuable lessons growing up, one of which was to not make promises I could not keep. (Okay, I'll admit, I'm not positive my parents actually taught me that; I may have learned it from one of ABC's sitcoms during their T.G.I.F block on Friday nights. But since I love my parents and they have continued to support me, I figured I'd give them the credit as opposed to Steve Urkel or Uncle Jesse. Fair? I think so.) And so, my dear readers, I must apologize to you. I promised you a running diary from the first day of the NCAA Tournament and I failed to deliver. I am sorry.
I have several--what I believe to be legitimate--reasons for not following through on my promise. I have been exhausted from all my extra traveling; I have been working extra hours at work to make up my lost billable hours; I have been catching up on what has been happening with my Kings; and UCLA made it to the Final Four which means I have had plenty of articles to read about the Florida-UCLA rematch (and apparently I'm not the only person out there who hates Joakim Noah...I mean, aside from the standard fellatio ESPN gives to its "chosen" few, I haven't found a single Noah supporter outside the state of Florida). But I am not here to make excuses. I let you, my readers, down and for that I apologize.
I have learned a few things and, like all people should, I will grow from mistakes. First, I have learned that the key to a solid running diary is to get it posted as soon as possible, regardless of the circumstances. The jokes do not seem as funny and memories fade as the time passes. Second, a running diary of an event attended in person is more difficult than that of one you watch on television (I assume) because you can only take notes at the live event. A running diary of a televised event allows you to have your computer with you while you watch so you can type out entire conversations as they happen as opposed to making notes. This assures you of both accuracy and maximum humor. Last, but certainly not least, do not get drunk in the middle of the endeavor. Allow me to explain.
A good friend of my mine from college, who shall be known hence forth as Money Bags (he's an investment banker in San Francisco with more money than he knows what to do with), made the trip out to Sacramento for Thursday's games. We decided to take an early lunch because Vanderbilt was destroying George Washington 30-10 with nine minutes left in the first half and there was only a one hour break between the two groups of games. So a group of us (six out of the eight attending) headed over to a Mexican restaurant walking distance from Arco. After a burrito and thirty-two ounce Corona, Money Bags and I hit up the liquor store next door to the restaurant and picked up a fifth of Jack Daniels each. When you consume that amount of liquor in the amount of time Money Bags and I did, you are going to get drunk (I can picture my Dad shaking his head in disgust while reading this, even though he was there). The problem with getting drunk while trying to keep a running diary is twofold: first, it is more difficult, if not impossible, to tip-toe the fine line that separates appropriate and inappropriate; and second, my handwriting went from perfect to illegible in seven seconds flat, making it difficult to decipher my notes (which, by the end of the Indiana-Gonzaga game looked more like hieroglyphics). My friends and I are funny enough without the help of alcohol; this was a rookie mistake. Take my advice, unless you are keeping a running diary of your fraternity's next "Century Club" challenge, leave the alcohol out of it.
So I am sorry that there will be no running diary from my first day at the NCAA Tournament. However, I am not going to leave you empty handed. There are a few moments that I would still like to relive with you:
(1) Money Bags and I offered to share some of our Diet Cokes (which tasted eerily similar to JD) with my Brother-in-Law during the UCLA-Weber State game. He graciously accepted, as we knew he would, and enjoyed the "refreshing" beverage. Rumor has it, upon returning to his seat my Brother-in-Law was chastised by my Sister (I'm not normally in the business of spreading rumors...this isn't a gossip site...but I am relying on some good, reliable sources on this one). I am speechless. What is the world coming to when a man can not enjoy a Jack & Diet in peace?
(b) There was a "dude" (censored for my younger readers) sitting two rows in front of us who was more drunk, in terms of both duration and quantity, than Money Bags and I. He spent the entire second set of games hitting on my Better Half as if I was not even there. He went so far as to invite her out to a place called the Cabana Club, which according to him was "THE happening spot," not once but twice. Fortunately for him, I do not get violent when drunk; I easily had a two-to-one size advantage and Money Bags in my corner. If it had come to blows, it would have been quick and ugly. Unfortunately for him, however, is that I do not lose my edge when drunk. I simply told him that he had been misinformed about the Cabana Club and that he should check out Faces if he really wanted to be where the action was (in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I've never been to Faces and the website should tell you why...I know about it because I lived in Sacramento for a year).
(iii) There was a nice man sitting directly in front of me who happened to be an Indiana fan. He and I had a very enjoyable discussion about Indiana basketball, where he felt the program was going under first-year coach Kelvin Sampson, and whether he was a Bob Knight fan (no conversation about Indiana basketball is complete without "The General"). Well, during our conversation about Mr. Knight, we talked about how Bobby had spent some time in Puerto Rico as head coach of the U.S. Basketball team in 1979 and how he had been arrested while there for assaulting a police officer. The arrest, however, was apparently not the most controversial part of Knight's time in Puerto Rico. This nice Indiana fan informed me that good ol' Bobby had knocked up his translator while there and had been paying child support ever since. Apparently they have a different way of saluting Generals down in Puerto Rico.
(4) As I mentioned in a previous post, Weber State has shockingly hot cheerleaders; by far the hottest in Sacramento and I am willing to wager some of the hottest in all of the NCAA Tournament. Now, I am sure you are saying "Come on BAP, there is no way you could tell for sure from your seats five rows from the top." Well, my dear reader, that is the magic of alcohol. You see, Money Bags and I, having each consumed a thirty-two ounce beer and half of one of the fifths of JD, naturally had to use the restroom prior to the game. On the way back to our seats we happened to cross paths with two of the Weber State cheerleaders. Like all good friends do, we called dibs on the respective cheerleader we preferred--Money Bags taking the brunette and me taking the blonde--on the off-chance that I broke up with my Better Half and we ran into these two girls again within the next four hours (fellas, you have got to trust me...you don't gain anything by hitting on the same girl as your friend, it can only lead to trouble). This lead Money Bags and I to discuss a new theory he's been working on to explain why I always go for the blondes (my Better Half included) and he always goes for the brunettes. He believes that a man's preference in hair color is a subconscious decision based on the color of his sister's hair. If a guy has a sister, Money Bags believes that his preference will be towards women with the opposite color. As we discussed the merits of his theory, eventually adding my Better Half and Nosh (the fourth member of our group and our gracious hostess for the weekend) to the conversation, it seemed to hold true; not in every situation, but most. For example: Money Bags' sister is blonde and he has only dated brunettes, my sister is brunette and I have only dated blondes, and I have only ever seen my Better Half's brother hanging around with brunettes. Eureka, Money Bags is on to something! We should definitely convince the government to put together some sort of Blue Ribbon Committee to dive deeper into this theory; I smell Nobel Prize.
Before I go, I would like to mentoin something that is completely unrelated to my running diary. As further proof that national broadcast stations have no clue what their viewers want and/or prefer, CBS relieved Gus Johnson of his play-by-play responsibilities for the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight. It has something to do with the contract they offered James Brown to lure him away from Fox. I am a HUGE GJ fan, and I am extremely disappointed with CBS' decision. If you watched the UCLA-Gonzaga clip I included in my last post, that is Gus making the call of the dramatic comeback. Gus gives you what every other play-by-play announcer does not: emotion. It is easy to connect with him because he sounds exactly like how you feel while watching the game. We need more Gus Johnsons, not less, calling NCAA Tournament games. So here is a link to an audio tribute to GJ made by another fan. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the smooth calls of Gus Johnson.
I have several--what I believe to be legitimate--reasons for not following through on my promise. I have been exhausted from all my extra traveling; I have been working extra hours at work to make up my lost billable hours; I have been catching up on what has been happening with my Kings; and UCLA made it to the Final Four which means I have had plenty of articles to read about the Florida-UCLA rematch (and apparently I'm not the only person out there who hates Joakim Noah...I mean, aside from the standard fellatio ESPN gives to its "chosen" few, I haven't found a single Noah supporter outside the state of Florida). But I am not here to make excuses. I let you, my readers, down and for that I apologize.
I have learned a few things and, like all people should, I will grow from mistakes. First, I have learned that the key to a solid running diary is to get it posted as soon as possible, regardless of the circumstances. The jokes do not seem as funny and memories fade as the time passes. Second, a running diary of an event attended in person is more difficult than that of one you watch on television (I assume) because you can only take notes at the live event. A running diary of a televised event allows you to have your computer with you while you watch so you can type out entire conversations as they happen as opposed to making notes. This assures you of both accuracy and maximum humor. Last, but certainly not least, do not get drunk in the middle of the endeavor. Allow me to explain.
A good friend of my mine from college, who shall be known hence forth as Money Bags (he's an investment banker in San Francisco with more money than he knows what to do with), made the trip out to Sacramento for Thursday's games. We decided to take an early lunch because Vanderbilt was destroying George Washington 30-10 with nine minutes left in the first half and there was only a one hour break between the two groups of games. So a group of us (six out of the eight attending) headed over to a Mexican restaurant walking distance from Arco. After a burrito and thirty-two ounce Corona, Money Bags and I hit up the liquor store next door to the restaurant and picked up a fifth of Jack Daniels each. When you consume that amount of liquor in the amount of time Money Bags and I did, you are going to get drunk (I can picture my Dad shaking his head in disgust while reading this, even though he was there). The problem with getting drunk while trying to keep a running diary is twofold: first, it is more difficult, if not impossible, to tip-toe the fine line that separates appropriate and inappropriate; and second, my handwriting went from perfect to illegible in seven seconds flat, making it difficult to decipher my notes (which, by the end of the Indiana-Gonzaga game looked more like hieroglyphics). My friends and I are funny enough without the help of alcohol; this was a rookie mistake. Take my advice, unless you are keeping a running diary of your fraternity's next "Century Club" challenge, leave the alcohol out of it.
So I am sorry that there will be no running diary from my first day at the NCAA Tournament. However, I am not going to leave you empty handed. There are a few moments that I would still like to relive with you:
(1) Money Bags and I offered to share some of our Diet Cokes (which tasted eerily similar to JD) with my Brother-in-Law during the UCLA-Weber State game. He graciously accepted, as we knew he would, and enjoyed the "refreshing" beverage. Rumor has it, upon returning to his seat my Brother-in-Law was chastised by my Sister (I'm not normally in the business of spreading rumors...this isn't a gossip site...but I am relying on some good, reliable sources on this one). I am speechless. What is the world coming to when a man can not enjoy a Jack & Diet in peace?
(b) There was a "dude" (censored for my younger readers) sitting two rows in front of us who was more drunk, in terms of both duration and quantity, than Money Bags and I. He spent the entire second set of games hitting on my Better Half as if I was not even there. He went so far as to invite her out to a place called the Cabana Club, which according to him was "THE happening spot," not once but twice. Fortunately for him, I do not get violent when drunk; I easily had a two-to-one size advantage and Money Bags in my corner. If it had come to blows, it would have been quick and ugly. Unfortunately for him, however, is that I do not lose my edge when drunk. I simply told him that he had been misinformed about the Cabana Club and that he should check out Faces if he really wanted to be where the action was (in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I've never been to Faces and the website should tell you why...I know about it because I lived in Sacramento for a year).
(iii) There was a nice man sitting directly in front of me who happened to be an Indiana fan. He and I had a very enjoyable discussion about Indiana basketball, where he felt the program was going under first-year coach Kelvin Sampson, and whether he was a Bob Knight fan (no conversation about Indiana basketball is complete without "The General"). Well, during our conversation about Mr. Knight, we talked about how Bobby had spent some time in Puerto Rico as head coach of the U.S. Basketball team in 1979 and how he had been arrested while there for assaulting a police officer. The arrest, however, was apparently not the most controversial part of Knight's time in Puerto Rico. This nice Indiana fan informed me that good ol' Bobby had knocked up his translator while there and had been paying child support ever since. Apparently they have a different way of saluting Generals down in Puerto Rico.
(4) As I mentioned in a previous post, Weber State has shockingly hot cheerleaders; by far the hottest in Sacramento and I am willing to wager some of the hottest in all of the NCAA Tournament. Now, I am sure you are saying "Come on BAP, there is no way you could tell for sure from your seats five rows from the top." Well, my dear reader, that is the magic of alcohol. You see, Money Bags and I, having each consumed a thirty-two ounce beer and half of one of the fifths of JD, naturally had to use the restroom prior to the game. On the way back to our seats we happened to cross paths with two of the Weber State cheerleaders. Like all good friends do, we called dibs on the respective cheerleader we preferred--Money Bags taking the brunette and me taking the blonde--on the off-chance that I broke up with my Better Half and we ran into these two girls again within the next four hours (fellas, you have got to trust me...you don't gain anything by hitting on the same girl as your friend, it can only lead to trouble). This lead Money Bags and I to discuss a new theory he's been working on to explain why I always go for the blondes (my Better Half included) and he always goes for the brunettes. He believes that a man's preference in hair color is a subconscious decision based on the color of his sister's hair. If a guy has a sister, Money Bags believes that his preference will be towards women with the opposite color. As we discussed the merits of his theory, eventually adding my Better Half and Nosh (the fourth member of our group and our gracious hostess for the weekend) to the conversation, it seemed to hold true; not in every situation, but most. For example: Money Bags' sister is blonde and he has only dated brunettes, my sister is brunette and I have only dated blondes, and I have only ever seen my Better Half's brother hanging around with brunettes. Eureka, Money Bags is on to something! We should definitely convince the government to put together some sort of Blue Ribbon Committee to dive deeper into this theory; I smell Nobel Prize.
Before I go, I would like to mentoin something that is completely unrelated to my running diary. As further proof that national broadcast stations have no clue what their viewers want and/or prefer, CBS relieved Gus Johnson of his play-by-play responsibilities for the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight. It has something to do with the contract they offered James Brown to lure him away from Fox. I am a HUGE GJ fan, and I am extremely disappointed with CBS' decision. If you watched the UCLA-Gonzaga clip I included in my last post, that is Gus making the call of the dramatic comeback. Gus gives you what every other play-by-play announcer does not: emotion. It is easy to connect with him because he sounds exactly like how you feel while watching the game. We need more Gus Johnsons, not less, calling NCAA Tournament games. So here is a link to an audio tribute to GJ made by another fan. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the smooth calls of Gus Johnson.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Do You Know the Way to San Jose?
I apologize to everyone who has been anxiously awaiting my running diary from last Thursday's NCAA Tournament action in Sacramento. This week has been rather hectic with all of my last minute travel plans. If I am not able to post it by tomorrow night, you can feel free to bombard me with comments and emails about what a terrible person I am.
I am about one hour away from leaving the office to head up to San Jose for tonight's Sweet 16 games. I am so pumped. Because I love my avid readers and wish to thank them for their unwavering support, I thought I would give you all the opportunity to share in my excitement and watch a grown man cry. ENJOY!
GO BRUINS!
I am about one hour away from leaving the office to head up to San Jose for tonight's Sweet 16 games. I am so pumped. Because I love my avid readers and wish to thank them for their unwavering support, I thought I would give you all the opportunity to share in my excitement and watch a grown man cry. ENJOY!
GO BRUINS!
Monday, March 19, 2007
The Madness of My March
Because most of you, my avid readers, are highly educated individuals, I am sure it was not difficult for you to surmise from my previous post that I love the NCAA Tournament (more commonly known as "March Madness"). The three weeks of the NCAA Tournament are usually my favorite three consecutive weeks of the year. I get a trip with my family and friends, I get to watch 65 basketball games without a single complaint from My Better Half (even she gets caught up in the Madness, which says a lot about it), and it is a three week period where gambling is not only accepted, it is encouraged. What more could you ask for?
As you may recall, I spent the first weekend of the Tournament in Sacramento watching the first and second rounds at Arco Arena (which, I might add, is a rather dull and depressing arena...I expected more from the Maloof brothers, who I learned are apparently holding out on renovating Arco because they want the residents of Sacto to foot the bill for a new arena in downtown...fat chance). I kept a running diary on Thursday to give everyone some insight on what it is like to sit through four games in one day. I was hoping it would be my first post this week, but three unforeseen events have brought about the need for this quick update (I promise to get to the running diary tomorrow night after work and I promise that you won't be disappointed). These three unforeseen events will, when combined with my already completed trip to Sacramento, result in the greatest March Madness of my life (up 'til now).
Unforeseen Event #1: While we were in Sacramento, my brother-in-law mentioned that if UCLA advanced to the second weekend, it was likely that he could get me tickets for their Sweet 16 game against Pitt, and, if they win (knock on wood), tickets to the Elite 8. Well, UCLA beat both Weber State and Indiana, advancing the Sweet 16 with their games to be played in San Jose (in what was the startling upset of the weekend, Weber State's cheerleaders were shockingly hotter than UCLA's...had I done my research properly, I definitely would have had to pick Weber State over UCLA in the pool in which I applied the "how cute are the school's cheerleaders" approach...seriously though, Weber State could have made a "Cinderella" run to the Final Four...more on this in the running diary). Not surprisingly, my brother-in-law got me the tickets and now I have two round trip flights booked for later this week on Southwest to San Jose: Thursday afternoon to Friday morning (don't want to take any vacation days I don't have to), and Saturday morning to Sunday morning. This is going to be great!
Unforeseen Event #2: My brother-in-law also invited me to the premiere of "The UCLA Dynasty," HBO Sports newest documentary that covers UCLA's decade of dominance under the guidance of John "The Wizard of Westwood" Wooden. A movie about the great UCLA teams of the past? Premiering in the middle of March Madness? How can you pass that up? Well, the premiere is tonight, so that takes away the night I had originally planned on using to post the running diary. [Update: The documentary was awesome. It premieres on HBO on Monday, March 26. You should definitely watch it (and/or record it if you have a DVR/Tivo). The producers did a great job of mixing the team's dominance on the court with the various social struggles the players had to deal with off it (i.e., Civil Rights Movement, Vietnam War, etc.). Plus, John Wooden is funny; it's a side of him I don't think many outsiders get to see. So do yourself a favor, watch it.]
Unforeseen Event #3: After two trips to Southwest.com to book my San Jose flights, I received a cryptic message from my good friend Agman. It read as follows: "Final 4 Weekend, Las Vegas, Free Rooms, Be There." Using my masterful skills of logical reasoning and deduction to decode this secret message, it was back to Southwest.com for me and the booking of my third trip in as many hours. Now I will be spending Final 4 weekend with a group of my good friends who I have not seen in several months (not to mention, my first trip to Vegas in several months). The Vegas itch is already back, and this time I get to mix it with the NCAA Tournament. How can you go wrong?
Mix it all together, let it simmer for about ten minutes, serve with a side of currently being in contention in all of my Tournament pools, and I have the recipe for a March full of Madness the likes of which have never been seen. This is great!
As you may recall, I spent the first weekend of the Tournament in Sacramento watching the first and second rounds at Arco Arena (which, I might add, is a rather dull and depressing arena...I expected more from the Maloof brothers, who I learned are apparently holding out on renovating Arco because they want the residents of Sacto to foot the bill for a new arena in downtown...fat chance). I kept a running diary on Thursday to give everyone some insight on what it is like to sit through four games in one day. I was hoping it would be my first post this week, but three unforeseen events have brought about the need for this quick update (I promise to get to the running diary tomorrow night after work and I promise that you won't be disappointed). These three unforeseen events will, when combined with my already completed trip to Sacramento, result in the greatest March Madness of my life (up 'til now).
Unforeseen Event #1: While we were in Sacramento, my brother-in-law mentioned that if UCLA advanced to the second weekend, it was likely that he could get me tickets for their Sweet 16 game against Pitt, and, if they win (knock on wood), tickets to the Elite 8. Well, UCLA beat both Weber State and Indiana, advancing the Sweet 16 with their games to be played in San Jose (in what was the startling upset of the weekend, Weber State's cheerleaders were shockingly hotter than UCLA's...had I done my research properly, I definitely would have had to pick Weber State over UCLA in the pool in which I applied the "how cute are the school's cheerleaders" approach...seriously though, Weber State could have made a "Cinderella" run to the Final Four...more on this in the running diary). Not surprisingly, my brother-in-law got me the tickets and now I have two round trip flights booked for later this week on Southwest to San Jose: Thursday afternoon to Friday morning (don't want to take any vacation days I don't have to), and Saturday morning to Sunday morning. This is going to be great!
Unforeseen Event #2: My brother-in-law also invited me to the premiere of "The UCLA Dynasty," HBO Sports newest documentary that covers UCLA's decade of dominance under the guidance of John "The Wizard of Westwood" Wooden. A movie about the great UCLA teams of the past? Premiering in the middle of March Madness? How can you pass that up? Well, the premiere is tonight, so that takes away the night I had originally planned on using to post the running diary. [Update: The documentary was awesome. It premieres on HBO on Monday, March 26. You should definitely watch it (and/or record it if you have a DVR/Tivo). The producers did a great job of mixing the team's dominance on the court with the various social struggles the players had to deal with off it (i.e., Civil Rights Movement, Vietnam War, etc.). Plus, John Wooden is funny; it's a side of him I don't think many outsiders get to see. So do yourself a favor, watch it.]
Unforeseen Event #3: After two trips to Southwest.com to book my San Jose flights, I received a cryptic message from my good friend Agman. It read as follows: "Final 4 Weekend, Las Vegas, Free Rooms, Be There." Using my masterful skills of logical reasoning and deduction to decode this secret message, it was back to Southwest.com for me and the booking of my third trip in as many hours. Now I will be spending Final 4 weekend with a group of my good friends who I have not seen in several months (not to mention, my first trip to Vegas in several months). The Vegas itch is already back, and this time I get to mix it with the NCAA Tournament. How can you go wrong?
Mix it all together, let it simmer for about ten minutes, serve with a side of currently being in contention in all of my Tournament pools, and I have the recipe for a March full of Madness the likes of which have never been seen. This is great!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Three Weeks, One Tournament, Zero Productivity
If you do not think the next three weeks are the greatest three weeks of the year, please raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? That is what I thought. March Madness has descended upon us once again, and that means it is time for me to fill out a countless number of brackets. Within the next 24 to 48 hours, I will inevitably join more NCAA pools than 99.9% of you (seriously, I'm like a virgin on prom night...I can't say no).
For me, like many addicts, March Madness begins with all of the various conference tournaments. The reason for this is twofold. First, it gives me a chance to see tournament-bound teams from the mid-major conferences play. How am I to guess who this year's "Cinderella" will be if I have not seen fifteen of the teams play? (My Better Half thinks it's just another excuse for me to sit on the couch for a week, force her to watch sports, and be useless. Mix in the fact that I was really sick last week and I was doubly useless to her...good times.) Second, it gives me the opportunity to warm up for "The Big Dance."
My family and I always attend the first and second rounds of the tournament. We select a location, enter the lottery, and hope we get eight to twelve tickets. This year we are headed to Sacramento. It is the first time I will get to watch UCLA play in the tourney. I am really excited. But believe you me, sitting through four games in a single day is a drain, both physically and mentally. It is not something you can just throw yourself into without proper preparation. That is why some of my family members (myself included) always attend the Pac-10 Tournament. It gives us the chance to acclimatize ourselves to what it takes to sit through four games in one day. (One thing that helps me get through the day is figuring out which school has the best [read: hottest] cheerleaders. I'm always surprised that, year-in and year-out, the Pac-10's "best" cheerleaders come from Oregon, hands down. With Arizona State, UCLA, and that other school from southern California in the conference, you'd think Oregon couldn't do it, but they do. My Mom tried to convince me that "that other school" had the best squad this year, but she was wrong for three reasons: (1) I'm a UCLA fan, I'll never pick a squad from that other school as the best in anything; (b) I can't pick a squad that has cheerleaders who don't know when to cheer; and (iii) did I mention they're from that other school?...but I digress.)
My favorite NCAA pool that I will participate in is the one I am the commissioner of; it is a pool involving my extended family. That is one of the great things about the NCAA tournament, it gives me a opportunity to spend three weeks communicating with the people closest to me (and nothing says "I love you" better than some good, old fashioned trash talking that comes straight from the heart...seriously, if didn't know my Dad actually cared, I'd already be crying and the tournament hasn't even started yet; he's almost too good). It is also great because it gives my Better Half the chance to beat me at something (wait a sec, that's not great). She dusted me last year; it was not even close. Even worse, she picked teams based on the people she knew who went to that school. It is not fair that one of her best friends from high school goes to UCLA and her sister goes to George Mason for grad school. I think this is why women tend to do better in NCAA pools than men (see, e.g., my Mom winning last year's family pool). I think men tend to over think the brackets while women are more concerned about who they know at the schools and how cute the players are (taking a page out of the ladies' playbook, I used the old "how cute are the school's cheerleaders" approach in one of my brackets this year...Oregon got to the Elite 8).
Most importantly, however, I am hoping this year's tournament will finally get the bad taste of last year's tournament out of my mouth (seriously, I feel bad my Better Half has had to kiss me all this time). I mean, sure UCLA made it to the finals, but they got blown out by Florida. And, as a result, we have had to endure this past year of everyone talking about how great Joakim Noah is. I hate Joakim Noah. Has there ever been a more overrated (or uglier) basketball player in the history of college basketball? We all know how Dick Vitale feels, and it is probably the only thing we agree on. Sure he played well for two or three games in last year's tournament, but this year he is only the fourth leading scorer on his team and most of his points have come when there are six minutes left in a game and his team has already secured a victory. I only saw one game this season where he had an impact on a tight game. Most of the time he just acts like a freak or throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old. I hope UCLA is able to make it to the Final Four so that a rematch of last year's championship game is possible. Lorenzo Mata will break Noah in half and Alfred Aboya will have a chance to relive the greatest moment of last year's game. And this year, I guarantee that UCLA will mop the floor with them; nobody gets the best of Ben Howland twice.
Time to dust off your dancing shoes and grab your partner, "The Big Dance" tips off in 66 hours.
For me, like many addicts, March Madness begins with all of the various conference tournaments. The reason for this is twofold. First, it gives me a chance to see tournament-bound teams from the mid-major conferences play. How am I to guess who this year's "Cinderella" will be if I have not seen fifteen of the teams play? (My Better Half thinks it's just another excuse for me to sit on the couch for a week, force her to watch sports, and be useless. Mix in the fact that I was really sick last week and I was doubly useless to her...good times.) Second, it gives me the opportunity to warm up for "The Big Dance."
My family and I always attend the first and second rounds of the tournament. We select a location, enter the lottery, and hope we get eight to twelve tickets. This year we are headed to Sacramento. It is the first time I will get to watch UCLA play in the tourney. I am really excited. But believe you me, sitting through four games in a single day is a drain, both physically and mentally. It is not something you can just throw yourself into without proper preparation. That is why some of my family members (myself included) always attend the Pac-10 Tournament. It gives us the chance to acclimatize ourselves to what it takes to sit through four games in one day. (One thing that helps me get through the day is figuring out which school has the best [read: hottest] cheerleaders. I'm always surprised that, year-in and year-out, the Pac-10's "best" cheerleaders come from Oregon, hands down. With Arizona State, UCLA, and that other school from southern California in the conference, you'd think Oregon couldn't do it, but they do. My Mom tried to convince me that "that other school" had the best squad this year, but she was wrong for three reasons: (1) I'm a UCLA fan, I'll never pick a squad from that other school as the best in anything; (b) I can't pick a squad that has cheerleaders who don't know when to cheer; and (iii) did I mention they're from that other school?...but I digress.)
My favorite NCAA pool that I will participate in is the one I am the commissioner of; it is a pool involving my extended family. That is one of the great things about the NCAA tournament, it gives me a opportunity to spend three weeks communicating with the people closest to me (and nothing says "I love you" better than some good, old fashioned trash talking that comes straight from the heart...seriously, if didn't know my Dad actually cared, I'd already be crying and the tournament hasn't even started yet; he's almost too good). It is also great because it gives my Better Half the chance to beat me at something (wait a sec, that's not great). She dusted me last year; it was not even close. Even worse, she picked teams based on the people she knew who went to that school. It is not fair that one of her best friends from high school goes to UCLA and her sister goes to George Mason for grad school. I think this is why women tend to do better in NCAA pools than men (see, e.g., my Mom winning last year's family pool). I think men tend to over think the brackets while women are more concerned about who they know at the schools and how cute the players are (taking a page out of the ladies' playbook, I used the old "how cute are the school's cheerleaders" approach in one of my brackets this year...Oregon got to the Elite 8).
Most importantly, however, I am hoping this year's tournament will finally get the bad taste of last year's tournament out of my mouth (seriously, I feel bad my Better Half has had to kiss me all this time). I mean, sure UCLA made it to the finals, but they got blown out by Florida. And, as a result, we have had to endure this past year of everyone talking about how great Joakim Noah is. I hate Joakim Noah. Has there ever been a more overrated (or uglier) basketball player in the history of college basketball? We all know how Dick Vitale feels, and it is probably the only thing we agree on. Sure he played well for two or three games in last year's tournament, but this year he is only the fourth leading scorer on his team and most of his points have come when there are six minutes left in a game and his team has already secured a victory. I only saw one game this season where he had an impact on a tight game. Most of the time he just acts like a freak or throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old. I hope UCLA is able to make it to the Final Four so that a rematch of last year's championship game is possible. Lorenzo Mata will break Noah in half and Alfred Aboya will have a chance to relive the greatest moment of last year's game. And this year, I guarantee that UCLA will mop the floor with them; nobody gets the best of Ben Howland twice.
Time to dust off your dancing shoes and grab your partner, "The Big Dance" tips off in 66 hours.
Monday, March 05, 2007
You Can't Stop Him, You Can Only Hope to Contain Him
I am not a big fan of the lottery (not the draft lottery system that various sports use, silly...the actual state lottery). I have never even played the lottery (unless you count five scratchers on my eighteenth birthday). But when a jackpot reaches $370 million, you have to get in on that action.
A co-worker of mine, Minalicious, approached me to see if I was interested in going in on some tickets with her, 50/50 style. So now I have two tickets with ten number combinations on them, Minalicious has two of her own, and I am caught up in jackpot-mania. Everywhere I go, all I hear is people talking about how winning $370 million is a life-changing amount of money. I disagree. Winning $370 million is not winning life-changing money, it is winning stupid money. A life changing amount of money would be an amount that allows you to pay off your debts, replace the old clunker known as "your car," and put a down payment on a nice house, if not allowing you to buy it out right. That is a life changing amount of money; it generally makes your life better and easier at the same time. All this can be done with anything from $500,000 to $1 million. Winning $370 million is stupid money because, assuming you save some of it, your great-great-grandchildren still will not have to worry about money during their lifetime.
Now, the $370 million posted jackpot is a little deceptive. For starters, the states finance the jackpots by selling bonds. So, if you take the lump sum payout (which you should ALWAYS do...it's a time/value of money thing, present vs. future value...not very complicated but not worth talking about here), you will only receive the initial proceeds of the bond sale, which will net you 45% -55% of the total jackpot, or $166.5 million to $203.5 million in this instance. Now, most states do not tax lottery winnings (California included), so you only have to worry about the 25% federal tax. So, if you win the $370 million jackpot, you will receive a lump sum payment between $124.9 million and $152.6 millions. Even if you were forced to split the pot with one other person (as I would), you would receive between $62 million and $76 million, also known as stupid money. [Update: Two people did win, a schmuck in southern New Jersey and a hick from the backwoods of Georgia. Minalicious and I? We won $2, which me promised will go towards tickets the next time the jackpot hits $250 million.]
So, having caught myself a case of jackpot-fever (which, unfortunately, can't be cured with more cowbell), I can not help but think of what I would do with about $69 million (just split the difference). First, I would set aside about $40 million into a trust. If that trust was to earn, conservatively, a 6% return every year, that would be $2.4 million of income every year for the rest of my life, and I would still have $29 million left to blow as fast as I can. I would pay off my loans, pay off My Better Half's loans, buy her a new car while I am at it, buy a house, give my parents a kickback for their years of endless support (not that they need it), buy my sister and brother-in-law a house, buy my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law a house, buy My Better Half's family new houses, and pay off some of my friends loans (we had a side deal). I could do all this and still have $20 million to blow, and not have even touched the $40 million trust. That, my friends, is why this jackpot is not life-changing money, it is stupid money. It allows someone to plan for the indefinite future.
Well, I am very thankful that not everyone on this planet is waiting to win the lottery before they plan for the future. In fact, the general managers of my two favorite teams are doing just that. First, Matt Millan finally appears to be reaching his stride as the general manager of the Detroit Lions. Having befuddled many Lions fans with his drafting skills, Millan is now showing that he might actually have a brain after all. With the trade for George Foster, an offensive tackle and 2003 first round draft pick of the Broncos (who tend to know what they're doing when it comes to offensive linemen) and the likely drafting of left tackle Joe Thomas with the second-overall pick in this years draft, Millan is shoring up the offensive line (which yielded 63 sacks last year, most in the league) for years to come. The Lions have also started to fill holes on the defensive side of the ball. With a core group of young and talented players, the 2007-2008 Lions just might be the surprise team of the season (but, of course, as a reader of GameTime, TBD©, you won't be surprised at all).
A co-worker of mine, Minalicious, approached me to see if I was interested in going in on some tickets with her, 50/50 style. So now I have two tickets with ten number combinations on them, Minalicious has two of her own, and I am caught up in jackpot-mania. Everywhere I go, all I hear is people talking about how winning $370 million is a life-changing amount of money. I disagree. Winning $370 million is not winning life-changing money, it is winning stupid money. A life changing amount of money would be an amount that allows you to pay off your debts, replace the old clunker known as "your car," and put a down payment on a nice house, if not allowing you to buy it out right. That is a life changing amount of money; it generally makes your life better and easier at the same time. All this can be done with anything from $500,000 to $1 million. Winning $370 million is stupid money because, assuming you save some of it, your great-great-grandchildren still will not have to worry about money during their lifetime.
Now, the $370 million posted jackpot is a little deceptive. For starters, the states finance the jackpots by selling bonds. So, if you take the lump sum payout (which you should ALWAYS do...it's a time/value of money thing, present vs. future value...not very complicated but not worth talking about here), you will only receive the initial proceeds of the bond sale, which will net you 45% -55% of the total jackpot, or $166.5 million to $203.5 million in this instance. Now, most states do not tax lottery winnings (California included), so you only have to worry about the 25% federal tax. So, if you win the $370 million jackpot, you will receive a lump sum payment between $124.9 million and $152.6 millions. Even if you were forced to split the pot with one other person (as I would), you would receive between $62 million and $76 million, also known as stupid money. [Update: Two people did win, a schmuck in southern New Jersey and a hick from the backwoods of Georgia. Minalicious and I? We won $2, which me promised will go towards tickets the next time the jackpot hits $250 million.]
So, having caught myself a case of jackpot-fever (which, unfortunately, can't be cured with more cowbell), I can not help but think of what I would do with about $69 million (just split the difference). First, I would set aside about $40 million into a trust. If that trust was to earn, conservatively, a 6% return every year, that would be $2.4 million of income every year for the rest of my life, and I would still have $29 million left to blow as fast as I can. I would pay off my loans, pay off My Better Half's loans, buy her a new car while I am at it, buy a house, give my parents a kickback for their years of endless support (not that they need it), buy my sister and brother-in-law a house, buy my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law a house, buy My Better Half's family new houses, and pay off some of my friends loans (we had a side deal). I could do all this and still have $20 million to blow, and not have even touched the $40 million trust. That, my friends, is why this jackpot is not life-changing money, it is stupid money. It allows someone to plan for the indefinite future.
Well, I am very thankful that not everyone on this planet is waiting to win the lottery before they plan for the future. In fact, the general managers of my two favorite teams are doing just that. First, Matt Millan finally appears to be reaching his stride as the general manager of the Detroit Lions. Having befuddled many Lions fans with his drafting skills, Millan is now showing that he might actually have a brain after all. With the trade for George Foster, an offensive tackle and 2003 first round draft pick of the Broncos (who tend to know what they're doing when it comes to offensive linemen) and the likely drafting of left tackle Joe Thomas with the second-overall pick in this years draft, Millan is shoring up the offensive line (which yielded 63 sacks last year, most in the league) for years to come. The Lions have also started to fill holes on the defensive side of the ball. With a core group of young and talented players, the 2007-2008 Lions just might be the surprise team of the season (but, of course, as a reader of GameTime, TBD©, you won't be surprised at all).
Then there is Dean Lombardi, general manager of the Los Angeles Kings. When DL was hired last summer, he announced that he had a plan to rebuild the Kings. The plan, he said, was to build around young superstars and he predicted it would take three to fours years to be Stanley Cup contenders. Well, DL is implementing that plan and, to be honest, you can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him.
Between my Where Do We Go From Here? post on February 20th and the NHL trading deadline on February 27th (that's right, in only one week's time), DL made four deals. The Kings lost veteran defenseman and captain Mattias Norstrom, Brent Sopel, a prospect who never panned out, a little-used forward, and three late round draft picks. The Kings, in turn, received Jamie Heward, an experienced former first round pick, a defensemen with an expiring contract, the rights to a prospect, and six draft picks. (I've always wanted to know which feels worse to a players self-esteem: being traded for (1) an unproven prospect, (b) late round draft picks, or (iii) a player-to-be-named later? Seriously, your team was so willing to get rid of you that they didn't even need to figure out who they wanted back at the present time. That can't feel good...but I digress) In all, DL has acquired two former first-round draft picks, three prospects, and eight draft picks. As it stands right now, the Kings have twenty draft picks between the 2007 and 2008 NHL drafts.
When you combine the moves DL has made over the past month with the nucleus of talented youngsters the Kings have on their roster right now, as well as those players on their AHL roster who will make the team next year, the Kings are extremely young and extremely talented. If these players are able to progress faster than expected, the Kings may be contenders next year or shortly thereafter. As an added bonus, because they will be so young, the Kings will be contenders year-in and year-out for the indefinite future.
Now, if only I could win myself some of that stupid money; I might have front row seats to enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Dick to Donovan: "My New Cell Phone's Awesome, Baby!"
The sport's machine known as ESPN is hard at work keeping a story from becoming a story...and they are succeeding. I am sure a memo went out in Bristol yesterday telling all major television and radio personalities to not talk about it. I am sure someone was on the phone with all of ESPN's radio affiliates to ensure they did not talk about it. The result? Most people do not even know what story I am alluding to right now.
What should be front page sports news cannot be found anywhere on ESPN.com, not the homepage and not the college basketball frontpage. Colin Cowherd, host of ESPN Radio's nationally broadcast show "The Herd," is a man who loves hot-button issues; he sometimes spends an entire show on just one of them. Yet, this morning, he danced around college basketball topics and eventually discussed how ridiculous it was that Syracuse fans stormed the court last night after beating Georgetown (although it was truly ridiculous, I'm pretty sure it didn't require 15 minutes of discussion on one of the most, if not the most, popular sports radio shows around the nation). Hosts Steve Mason and John Ireland of "The Big Show," 710ESPN Radio's afternoon drivetime sports talk show in Los Angeles, have a segment of their show entitled "The Big Show Interruption" where they supposedly debate the biggest sports topics of the day. While they felt the need to talk about the Clippers and whether they will make the playoffs, they did not even come close to discussing college basketball and what should have been one of the biggest topics in sports yesterday.
What ESPN did not count on, however, was GameTime, TBD© getting its hands on the story.
Love him or hate him (in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I lean towards the latter), Dick Vitale is one of ESPN's most loved and respected college basketball analysts, baby. Although he might not know anything about college basketball west of the Mississippi or north of the Mason-Dixon Line (hell, I'm not even sure he knows anything about basketball outside of the state of North Carolina), Vitale is one of ESPN's go-to-guys for major happenings around college basketball. This is why his opinion is well respected and many people want to hear what he has to say.
Vitale is slated to provide the color commentary for ESPN tonight when the University of Florida visits the University of Tennessee, a big game with the tournament right around the corner. That being so, yesterday morning News Sentinel's Sports Page, a sports radio show based in Tennessee, wanted to get Vitale's thoughts on the game. What they got, however, were Vitale's personal thoughts on Florida and its talent, as well as the contents of a "confidential" conversion Vitale had with Florida coach Billy Donovan. When hosts Mike Griffith and John Adams cut to Vitale live, Vitale did not know he was on. Instead, Vitale was in the middle of a conversation with a friend he was having breakfast with. Although Griffith and Adams were finally able to get Vitale's attention, the statements had been broadcast and Vitale was none the wiser. Griffith and Adams even tried to broach the issue with Vitale to give him the opportunity to explain and clarify his comments. That explanation, however, did not come until five minutes after Vitale had concluded the interview and had been contacted by someone at Florida. At that point, Vitale called Sports Page back, told Griffith and Adams how unprofessional they had been, and explained that his comments were merely in jest to a friend. (You can, and should, listen to Part I of the interview here, and Part II here).
Should Vitale's recanting really be the end of the story? I certainly do not think so. Obviously, ESPN has a great deal of interest in ensuring this, for lack of a better word, incident does not gain widespread media attention. A crucial part of ESPN's information comes from the personal relationships its analysts create with insiders of the various sports it covers. These "sources" expect their information to be held in confidence. So, it is a big deal that one of ESPN's most well known and highly regarded analysts would (a) be sharing this information with a friend at restaurant, as opposed to in his office or home, and (b) that he would even put himself in the situation where it could be broadcast over the airwaves. Things like this can affect ESPN's ability to get the information it needs
What about Vitale's credibility the next time he is calling a game or providing an interview? How are we to believe what he is actually saying? As the Sports Page interview shows, Vitale does not always give an opinion he believes to be true. Every interviewer will want to know how Vitale really feels. I, for one, thought the interview was great because it shows just how political people are, willing to say one thing when they believe something else just for the sake of their professional well being. Best of all, Vitale was not even willing to own up to it. I can understand denying the conversation he had with Donovan (more below), but Vitale could have at least just admitted he believes Horford is more talented than Noah. I feel like the 2008 Presidential Election is here already.
And what about the impact this could have on the Florida locker room? How hard has Billy Donovan worked to create a close bond and trust with his players, a familial atmosphere? Florida is a contender for the NCAA National Championship. It is late in the season and they have just lost two of their last three games. With the tournament right around the corner, a tear in the fabric of a team could have big consequences.
There is a legitimate story here that needs to be followed up on. Instead, ESPN is doing everything in its power to ensure this story does not get any bigger than it is. More appalling, however, is the double standard at work here; we all know that if this had happened to anyone outside of the ESPN family, you would be sick of hearing about it by now.
Hey Dickie V, I think it's time to call the fire chief, 'cause you're on fire, baby!
What should be front page sports news cannot be found anywhere on ESPN.com, not the homepage and not the college basketball frontpage. Colin Cowherd, host of ESPN Radio's nationally broadcast show "The Herd," is a man who loves hot-button issues; he sometimes spends an entire show on just one of them. Yet, this morning, he danced around college basketball topics and eventually discussed how ridiculous it was that Syracuse fans stormed the court last night after beating Georgetown (although it was truly ridiculous, I'm pretty sure it didn't require 15 minutes of discussion on one of the most, if not the most, popular sports radio shows around the nation). Hosts Steve Mason and John Ireland of "The Big Show," 710ESPN Radio's afternoon drivetime sports talk show in Los Angeles, have a segment of their show entitled "The Big Show Interruption" where they supposedly debate the biggest sports topics of the day. While they felt the need to talk about the Clippers and whether they will make the playoffs, they did not even come close to discussing college basketball and what should have been one of the biggest topics in sports yesterday.
What ESPN did not count on, however, was GameTime, TBD© getting its hands on the story.
Love him or hate him (in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I lean towards the latter), Dick Vitale is one of ESPN's most loved and respected college basketball analysts, baby. Although he might not know anything about college basketball west of the Mississippi or north of the Mason-Dixon Line (hell, I'm not even sure he knows anything about basketball outside of the state of North Carolina), Vitale is one of ESPN's go-to-guys for major happenings around college basketball. This is why his opinion is well respected and many people want to hear what he has to say.
Vitale is slated to provide the color commentary for ESPN tonight when the University of Florida visits the University of Tennessee, a big game with the tournament right around the corner. That being so, yesterday morning News Sentinel's Sports Page, a sports radio show based in Tennessee, wanted to get Vitale's thoughts on the game. What they got, however, were Vitale's personal thoughts on Florida and its talent, as well as the contents of a "confidential" conversion Vitale had with Florida coach Billy Donovan. When hosts Mike Griffith and John Adams cut to Vitale live, Vitale did not know he was on. Instead, Vitale was in the middle of a conversation with a friend he was having breakfast with. Although Griffith and Adams were finally able to get Vitale's attention, the statements had been broadcast and Vitale was none the wiser. Griffith and Adams even tried to broach the issue with Vitale to give him the opportunity to explain and clarify his comments. That explanation, however, did not come until five minutes after Vitale had concluded the interview and had been contacted by someone at Florida. At that point, Vitale called Sports Page back, told Griffith and Adams how unprofessional they had been, and explained that his comments were merely in jest to a friend. (You can, and should, listen to Part I of the interview here, and Part II here).
Should Vitale's recanting really be the end of the story? I certainly do not think so. Obviously, ESPN has a great deal of interest in ensuring this, for lack of a better word, incident does not gain widespread media attention. A crucial part of ESPN's information comes from the personal relationships its analysts create with insiders of the various sports it covers. These "sources" expect their information to be held in confidence. So, it is a big deal that one of ESPN's most well known and highly regarded analysts would (a) be sharing this information with a friend at restaurant, as opposed to in his office or home, and (b) that he would even put himself in the situation where it could be broadcast over the airwaves. Things like this can affect ESPN's ability to get the information it needs
What about Vitale's credibility the next time he is calling a game or providing an interview? How are we to believe what he is actually saying? As the Sports Page interview shows, Vitale does not always give an opinion he believes to be true. Every interviewer will want to know how Vitale really feels. I, for one, thought the interview was great because it shows just how political people are, willing to say one thing when they believe something else just for the sake of their professional well being. Best of all, Vitale was not even willing to own up to it. I can understand denying the conversation he had with Donovan (more below), but Vitale could have at least just admitted he believes Horford is more talented than Noah. I feel like the 2008 Presidential Election is here already.
And what about the impact this could have on the Florida locker room? How hard has Billy Donovan worked to create a close bond and trust with his players, a familial atmosphere? Florida is a contender for the NCAA National Championship. It is late in the season and they have just lost two of their last three games. With the tournament right around the corner, a tear in the fabric of a team could have big consequences.
There is a legitimate story here that needs to be followed up on. Instead, ESPN is doing everything in its power to ensure this story does not get any bigger than it is. More appalling, however, is the double standard at work here; we all know that if this had happened to anyone outside of the ESPN family, you would be sick of hearing about it by now.
Hey Dickie V, I think it's time to call the fire chief, 'cause you're on fire, baby!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Where Do We Go From Here?
Back when I first decided to start this blog, I weighed the various pros and cons of following a professional sports team for an entire season. I knew that the season would eventually end and that I would have to find interesting topics for my readers to follow during the offseason. Sure, the NHL draft will need to be discussed, as will many free agent transactions, but will this bring my readers back? I knew my creative juices would have to bring their "A" game from mid-April to early October. What I did not expect, however, was that the Los Angeles Kings would be suffering through their worst season in nearly a decade. Does this mean I need to go to the bullpen in the middle of the fourth when I was hoping my starter could get me through six?
Do not get me wrong, I have a fairly deep bullpen with plenty of decent middle relievers. First out of the gate (and unintentionally related to this on going analogy), most players have reported to their respective spring training locations and, thus, baseball season is right around the corner. Now, do not get me wrong, baseball is a great topic and I am sure I will spend many posts during the NHL offseason talking about it. The Dodgers had a great offseason of their own. They may have over spent on a few of their additions, but many experts believe they are now a legitimate contender this season. But let's face the facts: when the Kings play their last game of this season, there will still be 157 games left in the Dodgers season. Yeah, it is definitely too early to call this reliever out of the pen.
Maybe it would be beneficial to test out one of the younger arms, see if they have what it takes to go the distance. I do not know how many of my readers enjoy The Hills, MTV's Laguna Beach spin-off, but there is something odd about this show (BAP's Guilty Confession #1: I watch The Hills; as scripted as the scenes are, and considering the characters are about as deep as a kiddy pool, I watch the show every week...well, you can't deny that the ladies are easy on the eyes). What is odd you ask? Try this on for size: MTV is lying to you. It is claimed that leading lady LC and her roommate Heidi (don't even get me started on Heidi) live in the Hillside Villas apartment complex. Simple research reveals that the actual Hillside Villas, which are not too far from my humble abode, are no where near as nice as the apartment in which LC and Heidi live. No upstanding Laguna Beach parent would pay for their child to live there. Where, then, do they live you ask? Park La Brea, an upscale apartment complex not too far from all of their favorite hangouts and eateries. Quite frankly, I do not want a liar on my pitching staff; it is not good for team chemistry. I will send it back the minors until it is ready for the big time.
[While I'm on the subject, what is with the sad state of television shows for teenagers and young adults now-a-days? Seriously. When I was in my formative teenage years I had TNBC (the ever clever acronym for Teen NBC...wow) to provide me with shows I could learn from. TNBC featured such classics as Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, California Dreams, and Hang Time. How could you not get behind a show like Hang Time? It was a show about a high school basketball team, which played on a court that looked more like a square than a rectangle, and was coached by both Reggie Theus and Dick Butkus. The shows may have been cheesy, but they had an important message for us to take with us. Because of shows like those on TNBC, I can definitively state that I am not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby girl...but I digress.]
Maybe I should call on one of my more experienced relievers, always reliable. I could set my DVR to record all of the 90210 reruns on Soap (The Soap Opera Network), watch them, and relive all of the classic moments with my readers. It is weird, however, to see your collegiate alma mater dressed up as California University, home of the mighty Condors. And answer me this: when you were in college, did your student senate elections have twelve "political parties" running a president/vice-president ticket? Who would you vote for? The Greeks? The Latinos? The African-Americans? The Independents? The Progressives? These were actual "parties" running for elections. Of course, by this time, Kelly Kapowski had gained at least twenty pounds (no truth to the rumor that thirteen of those extra pounds were in her bra alone), changed her name to Valerie Malone, and became rather "easy." It is tough to watch an attractive young woman spiral out of control like that (Britney Spears' representatives could not be reached for comment). But, you do not want to tire out an older reliever too early; the reliable arm is more important to a late season push.
I guess I should talk to my starter, see if he has got anything left in the tank. Although the Kings have not been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs as of yet, I am a realist. The Kings were morally and mentally eliminated when they lost seven straight games going into the All Star break in late January. Normally, a team in the Kings position would be a heavy seller before the trade deadline, closing up shop and making preparations for the grand re-opening next season. That has not been the case. Sure they traded Craig Conroy and Sean Avery, but they signed Derek Armstrong (who many assumed already had his bags packed) to a two-year contract extension. Armstrong is probably having the most underrated season of all Kings players. He has already set a career high in assists and is on pace to set a career high in goals and points as well. He also has a plus/minus ratio of plus sixteen; an impressive stat in-and-of-itself, it is more impressive when you consider that the Kings have been outscored by forty-one goals this season.
More importantly, the Kings have gone 4-3-4 since the All Star break. They have earned points in eight of the last eleven games. That stretch includes a tough five game road trip to the southeast where they went 2-1-2. They followed that with a home-and-home split with Division-leading Anaheim, losing and in winning in a shootout. All this corresponds to the arrival of a 40-year-old goalie who has added some stability to the crease. The Kings acquired Sean Burke from Tampa Bay through waivers right before the All Star break. He is the fifth starting goalie the Kings have used this season, a new club record. Since his arrival, Burke has started ten games, posting a 4-3-2 record with a 2.22 goals against average and a .931 save percentage. The Kings are now only two points away from pulling themselves out of the conference cellar and four points from jumping up to twelfth in the conference.
A jump to twelfth would put the Kings one spot behind the surging St. Louis Blues, a team they will not be able to catch. I can not stress it enough, but Andy Murray should be a candidate for Coach of the Year. Since AM's arrival in St. Louis thirty-three games ago, the Blues have gone 19-9-5. After starting the season 7-17-4, AM has led the Blues back to .500. If you projected his impact out over a full eighty-two game schedule, the Blues would finish 47-22-13, good for 107 points, probably the forth of fifth seed in the playoffs, and a fifty point improvement from last season. As it stands now, with twenty-one games left in their schedule, the Blues are only nine points out of a playoff spot. The eighth seed is well within reach. It would be a turn around the likes of which has not been seen since 2000-2001 when the Los Angeles Kings surged in to the playoffs with a late season push. Is it a coincidence that that team was also coached by AM? I think not.
Hmm, I guess my starter has a few innings left after all.
Do not get me wrong, I have a fairly deep bullpen with plenty of decent middle relievers. First out of the gate (and unintentionally related to this on going analogy), most players have reported to their respective spring training locations and, thus, baseball season is right around the corner. Now, do not get me wrong, baseball is a great topic and I am sure I will spend many posts during the NHL offseason talking about it. The Dodgers had a great offseason of their own. They may have over spent on a few of their additions, but many experts believe they are now a legitimate contender this season. But let's face the facts: when the Kings play their last game of this season, there will still be 157 games left in the Dodgers season. Yeah, it is definitely too early to call this reliever out of the pen.
Maybe it would be beneficial to test out one of the younger arms, see if they have what it takes to go the distance. I do not know how many of my readers enjoy The Hills, MTV's Laguna Beach spin-off, but there is something odd about this show (BAP's Guilty Confession #1: I watch The Hills; as scripted as the scenes are, and considering the characters are about as deep as a kiddy pool, I watch the show every week...well, you can't deny that the ladies are easy on the eyes). What is odd you ask? Try this on for size: MTV is lying to you. It is claimed that leading lady LC and her roommate Heidi (don't even get me started on Heidi) live in the Hillside Villas apartment complex. Simple research reveals that the actual Hillside Villas, which are not too far from my humble abode, are no where near as nice as the apartment in which LC and Heidi live. No upstanding Laguna Beach parent would pay for their child to live there. Where, then, do they live you ask? Park La Brea, an upscale apartment complex not too far from all of their favorite hangouts and eateries. Quite frankly, I do not want a liar on my pitching staff; it is not good for team chemistry. I will send it back the minors until it is ready for the big time.
[While I'm on the subject, what is with the sad state of television shows for teenagers and young adults now-a-days? Seriously. When I was in my formative teenage years I had TNBC (the ever clever acronym for Teen NBC...wow) to provide me with shows I could learn from. TNBC featured such classics as Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, California Dreams, and Hang Time. How could you not get behind a show like Hang Time? It was a show about a high school basketball team, which played on a court that looked more like a square than a rectangle, and was coached by both Reggie Theus and Dick Butkus. The shows may have been cheesy, but they had an important message for us to take with us. Because of shows like those on TNBC, I can definitively state that I am not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby girl...but I digress.]
Maybe I should call on one of my more experienced relievers, always reliable. I could set my DVR to record all of the 90210 reruns on Soap (The Soap Opera Network), watch them, and relive all of the classic moments with my readers. It is weird, however, to see your collegiate alma mater dressed up as California University, home of the mighty Condors. And answer me this: when you were in college, did your student senate elections have twelve "political parties" running a president/vice-president ticket? Who would you vote for? The Greeks? The Latinos? The African-Americans? The Independents? The Progressives? These were actual "parties" running for elections. Of course, by this time, Kelly Kapowski had gained at least twenty pounds (no truth to the rumor that thirteen of those extra pounds were in her bra alone), changed her name to Valerie Malone, and became rather "easy." It is tough to watch an attractive young woman spiral out of control like that (Britney Spears' representatives could not be reached for comment). But, you do not want to tire out an older reliever too early; the reliable arm is more important to a late season push.
I guess I should talk to my starter, see if he has got anything left in the tank. Although the Kings have not been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs as of yet, I am a realist. The Kings were morally and mentally eliminated when they lost seven straight games going into the All Star break in late January. Normally, a team in the Kings position would be a heavy seller before the trade deadline, closing up shop and making preparations for the grand re-opening next season. That has not been the case. Sure they traded Craig Conroy and Sean Avery, but they signed Derek Armstrong (who many assumed already had his bags packed) to a two-year contract extension. Armstrong is probably having the most underrated season of all Kings players. He has already set a career high in assists and is on pace to set a career high in goals and points as well. He also has a plus/minus ratio of plus sixteen; an impressive stat in-and-of-itself, it is more impressive when you consider that the Kings have been outscored by forty-one goals this season.
More importantly, the Kings have gone 4-3-4 since the All Star break. They have earned points in eight of the last eleven games. That stretch includes a tough five game road trip to the southeast where they went 2-1-2. They followed that with a home-and-home split with Division-leading Anaheim, losing and in winning in a shootout. All this corresponds to the arrival of a 40-year-old goalie who has added some stability to the crease. The Kings acquired Sean Burke from Tampa Bay through waivers right before the All Star break. He is the fifth starting goalie the Kings have used this season, a new club record. Since his arrival, Burke has started ten games, posting a 4-3-2 record with a 2.22 goals against average and a .931 save percentage. The Kings are now only two points away from pulling themselves out of the conference cellar and four points from jumping up to twelfth in the conference.
A jump to twelfth would put the Kings one spot behind the surging St. Louis Blues, a team they will not be able to catch. I can not stress it enough, but Andy Murray should be a candidate for Coach of the Year. Since AM's arrival in St. Louis thirty-three games ago, the Blues have gone 19-9-5. After starting the season 7-17-4, AM has led the Blues back to .500. If you projected his impact out over a full eighty-two game schedule, the Blues would finish 47-22-13, good for 107 points, probably the forth of fifth seed in the playoffs, and a fifty point improvement from last season. As it stands now, with twenty-one games left in their schedule, the Blues are only nine points out of a playoff spot. The eighth seed is well within reach. It would be a turn around the likes of which has not been seen since 2000-2001 when the Los Angeles Kings surged in to the playoffs with a late season push. Is it a coincidence that that team was also coached by AM? I think not.
Hmm, I guess my starter has a few innings left after all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)