There's Never Any Time

It has been one crazy week. My Better Half and I are getting ready to move tomorrow morning, which means I have spent all week packing up the "old" place. I also thought it would be a good time to get a lump of scar tissue removed, which means I am down to one arm during this whole process. So, between those two tasks and, of course, actual work (wait, what?), it has been a crazy week. That has left me feeling like there is no time, like there is never any time, and like I will never get into Stanford. Oh well, my college years were pretty solid as is, I guess I will just have to live with it. But rest assured, my dear readers, that, come hell or high water, at least once a week I will still have time for you. For no person should be forced to endure a Friday without a Link Dump brought to you by the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD©.

And what a week it was. The most valuable player of the week had to be the American justice system, which, in its infinite wisdom, allowed Dante Stallworth to plead out his DUI-Manslaughter case and sentenced him to thirty days in prison. So, just to recap: killing dogs, two years; killing a human being, thirty days. Now, do not get me wrong, I can not stand the thought of what Michael Vick did. He deserved what he got. But how can we be surprised that people have lost a little faith in our justice system (and think that athletes get a free pass) when something like this happens? Yes, I understand that Stallworth had to pay the family a sizable chunk of change for their civil suit, but that does not change the fact he killed someone, accidentally or not. The dude had a blood alcohol level of .12 . . . at 7 a.m. the next morning. His thirty-day sentence is fifteen days less than Paris Hilton was sentenced to back in 2007 for a simple probation violation. Sure, he will also have to spend two years under house arrest, wearing one of those nice little ankle bracelets (can I get that with diamonds? a Nike logo?), but I would hardly call that "hard time".

What I have to keep reminding myself, however, is that this was a plea bargain. Stallworth agreed to plead guilty for a reduced sentence that was offered to him by the district attorney and agreed to by the presiding judge. Michael Vick did the same thing. So, really, we should be asking the district attorney and judge why they would think this was justice being served; why thirty days for the taking of a person's life is equivalent to two years for animal cruelty of the worst kind. And that is what leaves me scratching my head.

Enough negative talk. It is Friday; a day we are supposed to be happy about. So while I go track down some Tylenol to take the pain away (where the stitches are, I'm no pill popper), here are some things you might have missed:

• Have we already forgotten that Matt Millen was the worst GM in the history of the NFL?
• Mr. Irrelevant now officially Mr. Making-It-Rain.
• Someone needs to turn Ryan Leaf's life into a movie . . . seriously.
  
• Need a deal on a new car? Call Ed O'Bannon.
• Since Meyer's arrival, you may have noticed that Florida football, while winning lots of games, has had a few (read: 24) run-ins with the law. Now meet their attorney; a guy who puts the word a** in class.
• This guy has a weird way of showing his appreciation for Bill Simmons. [Editor's Note: If you'd prefer to skip the Lakers/Kobe ball-washing, feel free to jump straight to point 4.]
  
• Are you graduating? Are you graduating? There's no graduating! THERE'S NO GRADUATING IN BASEBALL!
• Ump lets high school players experience life as a Washington Nationals' player.
• The rights to Mel Hall acquired by state of Texas, and for good reason.
• Women . . . loud grunts and groans . . . I am sure there is a joke in here somewhere. [Editor's Note: and here's a game to keep you occupied for a little bit.]
• I hope this guy remembered his swim trunks and his flippie-floppies.
• "But I guess I'd rather be alive than play soccer."

It is always nice to end on a happy note . . . which is why we have videos, and some good ones at that if may take a moment to toot my own horn. There were a lot of candidates this week, and instead of trying to narrow them down, we have decided to let you have all of them (go big or go home, right?). Say good-bye to your afternoon, cause you have some watching to do:

• Models . . . on a roller coaster . . . in their underwear. You. Are. Welcome.
• I really would have thought this tragic news would have gotten more national attention.
• You should not laugh at this. Unfortunately, you will.
• Your "FAIL" videos of the week brought to you by a referee and a news anchor.
• I always felt Gus Johnson would make an excellent golf announcer.
  
• I watched this video at least five times before I believed it was real.
• SVP proving, once again, he is too good for the Evil Empire.

Have a great weekend everyone!