There is a little phrase in the "business" that you might have heard: burying the lead. It refers usually to an article or segment in which the author bores the reader for a while before dropping the bomb. That is not our style here at GameTime, TBD©, especially when the story is one we feel is deserving of comment. It is very likely that most of you have already heard about the college kid who dunked on LeBron and Nike's subsequent pitiful attempt at justifying a cover-up. Too bad for them, Ryan Miller (no relation to Ryan Miller, Buffalo Sabres goalie) knows how to read. Go figure.
Before I get to my point, a little disclaimer: I have know idea what it is like to be a world-wide superstar (as far as you know . . .). It is sad to me that Nike, which has gone out of its way to make brands out of the likes of LeBron James and Tiger Woods, attempts to control every aspect of these peoples, which usually ends up making things worse. They are so concerned about image, that they forget these are people. I have had two opportunities to be in close proximity to Tiger; once when he was by himself and once when his Nike handler was present. During the latter encounter, it was like Tiger's less-personable, not as fun twin brother had showed up. I get it Nike, you have invested hundreds of millions of dollars in this guy. However, last time I checked, the Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery. I do not think you have to worry about Tiger doing something to tarnish your image, unless you think winning every tournament he enters will tarnish your image, or hitting shots that are a Nike advertisement in-and-of-themselves (though, he could use a few "high-fiving" lessons).
So, instead of dehumanizing these people who are making you millions of dollars in profit, why not humanize them instead? I get it, you think LeBron is the greatest thing to come along since sliced bread; and no one will deny that he is an amazing basketball player. And now some college kid has gone out there and dunked on him. Oh no, stop the press, Armageddon is upon us. I am not positive but I think I once read about Nostradamus predicting such an event will result in Earth's gravitational forces being pulled out of whack, thus resulting in the end of human life as we know. Or, at least, that is what all your actions seem to indicate is going to happen. He got dunked on, big deal. Poor Frederic Weis has to live with this for the rest of his life, but something tells me he will survive. Let Jordan Crawford have his fifteen minutes of fame, even if it is at LeBron's expense. From what I hear, the kid was even wearing LeBron's shoes. So why would you not want that out there? I would not think less of LeBron because of it, and I am pretty sure most everyone else out there feels the same way. I would even go so far as to say that letting LeBron make fun of himself with this might make him even more appealable.
Nike, it is time to get over yourself. Oh, an it is also time to learn that it is okay to let Tiger sign more than five autographs at a time. He does not have to sign one for me, but I saw more than a few kids out there who think Tiger stiffed them on an autograph when really it was his handler moving him along. Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I think it is time I go burn all my Nike golf gear and replace it with Adidas gear . . . er . . . maybe I should think about it for a while first. So, while I consider the pros and cons of that, here are some things you might have missed:
- I had such high hopes for this "Best Bikini Body" bracket, but then I saw they had Marisa Miller as an 11-seed in a bracket with Jennifer Aniston as a 1-seed. You are telling me this is ten seeds better than this? I must still be drunk from last night.
- Our thoughts and prayers go out to Phil Mickelson yet again. That guy can not catch a break (though he still has no problem catching a donut or two . . . too soon?).
- Monty 1, Pirates (not of Pittsburgh) 0.
- SI wrote a timely piece on PEDs in sports . . . 40 years ago.
- I am sure the government will help Lenny Dykstra blow through bankruptcy just like it did GM.
- I am sure the people of Florida will have no problem footing the $2.4 billion (yes, with a "b") bill for the Marlins' new stadium, what with our booming economy and all.
- I caught a foul ball once (if by caught you mean garbing it after it bounced of my Brother-in-Law and landed in my Dad's lap while he hid like a little girl) and gave it to my Grandma for free. And somehow I think that relates to this.
- When the hearings for my Supreme Court nomination begin, you better believe David Cone will be on my witness list. Wait, what?
- It is good to see Ochocinco and the NFL getting along so well.
- The United Football League wants you to get excited about their "enhancements".
- I am at a loss for words right now. These people wanted to lose their money in Vegas and Vegas said no thanks?
- This story is from Georgia . . . enough said.
- And this story is from Rick Reilly . . . too much said.
- If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. A tree branch, however, is a whole different story.
- A word of warning for anyone traveling to Australia anytime soon: they take their pooping in hotel hallways very seriously over there.
- "Taking some punishment" (that is not a euphemism).
- This girl can handle my driver anytime she wants (that may or may not be . . . you decide).
- Le Tour de France is back, time for a video of a professional biker and a corner.
- Looks like I will have to find a new place to get my tiny guitars and novelty sombreros. Thankfully, however, Vegas already has the three-foot plastic margarita glasses. [Editor's Note: language is borderline NSFW . . . if people speak Spanish.]
- Bruno comes out today and . . . would you look at that . . . Bruno did the Top 10 List on last night's Letterman.
- Something tells me this is not real; but I will let you be the judge.
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