Big Boy Work Day

As you all know by now, an early edition of GameTime, TBD©'s world-renowned (might be a slight exaggeration) Link Dump is never a good sign.  Unfortunately, the Chief is off doing "big boy" work today, so we are without our fearless leader.

But do not think you are going to be left completely empty-handed on this fine Friday.  Before heading out the door this morning, the Chief proclaimed: "It's Halloween weekend.  Make sure they at least get a pic of a celebrity in a sexy Halloween costume and some Halloween-related videos or something."  What a guy, right?  Always looking out you, our dear readers.

After significant "research", it turns out there are not a lot of A-list celebrities who have been photographed wearing your average "Slutty _______" costume.  That was quite upsetting.  We refuse to associate the likes of Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton with this classy establishment, so that has brought us to Annalyne McCord of [*googles Annalyne McCord*] the new 90210 fame.  Ms. McCord wins out because she rocked a sexy Batgirl for Halloween back in 2009 and, since we are comic book nerds (shocking, I know), that works for us.

As for the videos, well, we will just let them speak for themselves:

• In non-Halloween fail-related news, (1) a trampoline-to-pool jump ends with predictable results, and (b) not exactly the type of impression you want to make at freshmen orientation.
• Melanie Iglesias is "famous" for being a "model" and making "flipbook-style" videos of her changing in and out of clothing.  She was nice enough to make a "Halloween Edition" of the flipbook video, which is nice because she apparently considers bikinis to be acceptable "costumes".  [Editor's Note: new record for excessive quotation mark usage . . . go us!]
• Some people have way too much time on their hands.  Thankfully, some of those some people use their time for awesomeness.

Have a great weekend everyone!  Ladies, do not forget to treat your men to that "Slutty ________" costume they have been not-so-subtly hinting at for the past month. 

Oopsies

Two things:

(1) First and foremost, we would like to apologize for the complete radio silence last Friday here at GameTime, TBD©.  My Better Half and I celebrated our third anniversary last week (time flies when you're having fun) and as our gifts to each other we planned a group orgy trip to San Francisco for the Outside Lands music festival.  We flew up to San Francisco early Friday and, in all the excitement, I shirked my duties to you, our dear readers, and failed to provide you with any form of entertainment whatsoever.  If it makes you feel any better, the festival was totally uh-mazing.  It was highlighted by Muse on Saturday night, which was pretty much one of the best live shows I have seen.  I also got to see Majer Lazer, Arcade Fire, Phish, OK Go, The Arctic Monkeys, Deadmau5 (which My Better Half said sounded like one long song [shakes head]) and The Black Keys, who were, by far, the surprise performance of the weekend for me.  And it was all punctuated by the fact that I got to enjoy the weekend with My Better Half in celebration of three great years.

(B) Speaking of My Better Half, she and I dove into Season 2 of The Tudors this week (yes we're a little behind the times).  If you have not seen The Tudors, the show can essentially be broken down into two parts, (1) Henry VIII yelling, and (b) people getting it on (turns out people loved to do the nasty back then, who knew?).  Anyways, during a scene of the latter kind with Henry and Anne Boleyn, My Better Half said the following:  "Natalie Dormer (actress who plays Anne Boleyn) has an amazing rack."  I commented that I thought they looked kind of fake because they did not really move, to which My Better Half noted that it was more the position of her body preventing them from moving and they were definitely not fake.   [Editor's Note: reason no. 347,218,769 why My Better Half is better than yours . . . she's so confident in herself that she strikes up conversations about other chicks breasts.]

For the record, I am absolutely terrible at telling the difference between real and fake breasts.  Unless a woman is rocking sweater kittens pointing north of the border, I am just as likely to think someone is wearing a good push-up bra as I am to think they paid ten grand for the right to never wear a bra again.  I attribute this deficiency to two things: (1) my general lack of interest in strip clubs, porn, and the like; and, somewhat related, (b) never having seen a pair up close (to my knowledge) and/or felt a pair.  To be honest, it is somewhat embarrassing when I am totally oblivious and either my friends or My Better Half makes a comment and I am none-the-wiser.  This is a problem I would like to remedy.  So, if (1) you are a reader of GameTime, TBD©, (b) have fake breasts, and (iii) are cool with me feeling your fake rack in a totally platonic way, go ahead and drop us a line via Twitter or email.  Do not worry, I figure the whole scene will play out something like this (which will be followed by this interaction with one of my friends . . . naturally).

Well, our little corner of the world wide web is so popular, I imagine the offers from fake-breasted ladies should start rolling in any moment now.  So while we are off checking Twitter and our email, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was:

• Okay, so I am pretty sure you did not miss the news about "The U", but if you have not read the official Yahoo Sports report, I recommend you do so now.
• Now, that you are caught up on all the dirty details, this flowchart should make more sense.
• With people debating whether or not Miami should get the "death penalty" for its transgressions, I think it is time we check in with Southern Methodist University, the only school to actually receive the death penalty, and their new strip club-esque football locker room.
• Well, at least he was honest.
• The lawsuit ten years in the making has finally arrived.
• Would you look at that, intelligent life does exist inside the New York Islanders organization.
• "This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation."
• Baseball players always manage to find interesting ways to injure themselves.  Today's culprit: sleep.
• Let this be a lesson to you children, think twice before speeding on your motorcycle with multiple loaded guns.
• Robbie Keane is bringing his talents to Los Angeles.  Of course, by "his talents", I meant these. [Editor's Note: fake, right?]
• If ever there was a good reason for workers to strike, I would think "when a barrel filled with chemical products exploded" is it.
• When future law students study the First Amendment, this should be an interesting topic of discussion.

Right, the offers will start rolling in any second now . . . [checks watch] . . . well, you know, it is Friday and I am sure most of you are just trying to get out early.  So I imagine they will come in this weekend, and then we can go from there.  In the meantime, here are some videos to help you get through the rest of your work week.  Just as a heads up, this is probably, time wise, the longest collection of videos we have ever posted.  Excited?  Here we go:

• Twelve minutes of girl fails?  Twelve minutes of [mostly-drunk] girl fails.
• As it turns out, some of the most famous lines/scenes in cinematic history were never scripted; go figure.  [Editor's Note: strong language, headphones/closing of office door advised.]
• Ages ago, we brought you "Batting Stance Guy" impersonating . . . well . . . batting stances.  As it turns out, he does some other pretty solid impersonations as well.
• Ah yes, the old "racket-to-balls" trick.  Gets them every time.
• Why use just words when you can look like an idiot instead?  Thanks, ESPN.
• I would not mind seeing a few more Swingers references around here, so might as well get the ball rolling on that one.
• Not shown: me doing everything Danny MacAskill does . . . blindfolded.
• I imagine the presidential primaries will be providing Jimmy Kimmel with plenty of unnecessary censorship opportunities.  Oh look, I am right.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Commence Operation: Game Changer

One of the reasons I chose to go with complete anonymity on GameTime, TBD© is that it allows me to talk more openly about things without embarrassing people too much.  Sure, many of my most avid readers are close friends, so the anonymity is somewhat wasted.  Yet my little corner of the world wide web is open to any and all comers, and I want them to be able to enjoy this site for not only our humor, but our willingness to open about life as well.  After all, it is "a look at sports and life".

Training for four half marathons over the past year has definitely taught me a lot of things.  After all, you can go crazy if you do not have something interesting to focus on during miles ten and beyond.  Sometimes I will just focus on another runner to help me keep pace (a "carrot" if you will).  Other times I focus on things going on in my life to distract me from my legs' constant questioning of "What did we do to you to deserve this?"  But while I have mastered the tricks necessary to get through my training, I have yet conquer, perhaps, the greatest hurdle:  the overwhelming disappointment I feel in myself when a run does not go as well as I thought.

Distance running is a fickle sport.  There are so many factors that contribute to the success, or lack thereof, for any given run.  Temperature, wind, the call of nature, road conditions, and other runners are just a few.  These are things that are out of a runners' control.  But I am a competitive person, so when a run does not go as well as I had planned, I tend to be consumed by thoughts of what I did or did not do that contributed to the outcome.

If you have not guessed it by now, the San Francisco Half Marathon did not go as well as I had hoped.  I will not lie, it was my slowest of the four.  And to top it off, around mile ten I got [censored] on by a bird.  And while my Better Half and my friends are great at making me feel better, the results have been eating away at me all week.  And that is how I have gotten to this point, the start of what I call Operation: Game Changer.  If I am going to be the runner I know I can be, some things have got to change.  For starters, I did battle through a little burn out during training this time around, so I am taking the six weeks I have between now and the start of the next training period to enjoy some new forms of physical activities.  For example, I did yoga with my Better Half this week (#WINNING), and it was great.  I can also take this time to throw some weight training back into the routine, which is always enjoyable.  Sure, I still need to run to keep my base up, but I am going to embrace the opportunity to freshen up my non-running days.  Most importantly, however, is that I am going to really focus on my nutrition and finally conquer some of my life-long weight issues.  Sure, my height and broad shoulders allow me to carry my weight without looking big, but the GameTime, TBD© family has not been blessed with best knees in the business.  I have been stuck in this 225 to 230 pound zone for far too long.  If I can get back to my "playing" weight, I figure the reduced stress on my joints is going to be good for a couple extra minutes alone.

My next half marathon is the Big Sur Half on November 20th.  I actually run that half as a training run for the Surf City Half Marathon that falls on Super Bowl Sunday.  But that will be my first marker of progress, and a run I am looking forward to more than ever.  Operation: Game Changer has officially commenced.

Okay, that was probably a little heavier than you were expecting for your Link Dump introduction.  So how about we me just go ahead and get to the more entertaining portion of our show?

• Look, Michelle, reputations come from somewhere.  So maybe you need to think about your role in all of this as well.
• Feel-good, stor-y (clap, clap, clap clap clap).
• Northwestern wants your help picking its new basketball court design.  Choice E, "Are These The Only Choices?", strangely absent.
• Matt Stairs retired on Wednesday, which is only news because it allows us to revisit the greatest quote in post-game press conference history.
• I do not remember this scene from Bull Durham.
• Perhaps a couple years in college would have done him some good.
• "Walker attempted to eat eight grams of marijuana before being arrested."
• Funny, I always thought "nude recreation" was a major offered at ASU.  After all, is that not how most of its female population spends the majority of their six years there?
• I am going to go out on a limb and guess that she is probably looking for some new representation at this point in time.

I am not going to lie, while I am glad the NFL lockout is over, it has made it a lot more difficult to find entertaining stories for the Link Dump.  The crazed coverage that all the sports media outlets are giving to the NFL is getting a little annoying.  However, while the NFL coverage has limited our access to entertaining stories, it has not limited our access to entertaining videos.  Hooray!

• I played soccer for twelve years, and was definitely above average [Editor's Note: #humblebrag].  That being said, I could not do this if you gave one thousand chances (I'm guessing).
• In these fifty-nine seconds, the womens' athletic movement is set back roughly two decades.  Impressive, no? 
• Oh, and this is not helping either.
• See . . . I . . . what I meant was . . . um . . .
• A double dose of Jimmy Kimmel for you this week: (1) the always enjoyable (at least to me) Unnecessary Censorship; and (b) an introduction to Tiger Woods's new caddy.
• After watching this waterslide fail, I guess I can not be too surprised about the grammar fail.
• The best three minutes of your day.  [Editor's Note: TWSS!]

Have a great weekend everyone!

Run Away, Run Away

We here at GameTime, TBD© acknowledge that this is us today:

On the bright side, Kate Upton was out there doing what she does best (read: looking hot in a bikini) earlier this week:

So, there that is.

Anyways, long story short, The Chief is headed off to San Francisco this afternoon for his fourth half marathon in the past year. [Editor's Note: *applause, applause, applause . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare, fanfare, fanfare*  Thank you; you're all too kind.]  Unfortunately, that means we are short on time this week and will not be able to provide you with your weekly dose of entertainment, commonly known as the Link Dump (hence the boring picture of the moderately attractive female above).  But in our effort to never leave you completely empty-handed on a Friday (see, e.g., said picture above), here is a six-second video that provides the shock-and-awe response we like around here (shock, as in "Oh my!", and awe, as in "Awwwwwwwww-[censored], did that really just happen?").  I have watched this video at least twenty times this week and it still cracks me up.

As always, we appreciate your continued support and understanding on days like this.  Have a great weekend everyone!

FAIL

This is a dark, dark day for the folks here at GameTime, TBD©.  For the first time ever, we will be unable to bring you, our avid readers, your Friday escape, lovingly referred to as the Link Dump, for a second week in a row.  Fail.

But rest assured we will NEVER leave you completely empty-handed on a Friday.  Not even a crazy day of "actual work" will stop us from making sure you have at least some entertainment for your Friday afternoon.  For starters, instant visual gratification in the former of Accepted/Gossip Girl/Green Lantern-hottie Blake Lively:

She certainly is easy on the eyes . . . and proof that, yes, The Chief has an obvious "type".  Rest assured My Better Half meets that type.

Also, in light of our fail, we thought we would "celebrate" with a few videos of . . . well . . other people's fails:

• With this week's revelations about Tony Parker and Eva Longoria, I think it is safe to now call this a fail.
• Nothing brings out the fail like wedding introductions.
• Here is a nice "Is that goal regulation size?" fail.
• St. Louis Blues's goalie Jaroslav Halak allowed a total of twelve thirteen goals in back-to-back starts earlier this week thanks to our little friend fail.
• We do not usually post Christmas-related items until after Thanksgiving . . . but some fails require immediate posting.

Have a great weekend everyone!