I hope you all had an amazing Christmas (or holiday season for my non-Christian readers). I wanted to let you all know that I am shutting down for the rest of 2008. I am celebrating "Second" Christmas with my family this weekend, so I will be unable to get anything new out before we ring in the new year.
I hope you all have a happy, healthy and safe New Years celebration. See you all in 2008!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Christmas has finally arrived. Everyone is walking around the office handing out gifts and I feel like a retard because I did not get anyone anything. In my defense, I call last Christmas as my first witness; no one gave me anything. Maybe I should have followed the example of my buddy Nosh (thanks for the card!), who cooked and iced out (that's edible bling) enough cookies to feed a small nation. This was an amateur mistake on my part and will never happen again. My team is getting ready to head out for a holiday lunch (read: getting drunk), so I am getting you this weeks link dump a couple of hours early. Besides, I figure most you are headed out early (if you're even in the office at all) and are probably dying for some way to pass the time. So here are some things from the past week you should know about:
- I am now 100% convinced that Congress does not do any actual work. Seriously though, the Rockies did not even win anything.
- When you were 7 years old, did ever ski "fast and recklessly"?
- Student asks math teacher for extra credit assignment; math teacher follows the porno movie playbook. I am sure you know how this one ends.
- Purdue University: training great minds like Orville Redenbacher, Neil Armstrong and this girl since 1869.
- Berkshire Hathaway share fell 4.6% on Monday, closing at $136,000 per share. I totally sympathize with what the shareholders must be going through right now.
- Come this time of year, you really should not disappoint your parents.
- Nerds of the world rejoice . . . I am doing so secretly to maintain my image.
- I cannot say I was totally shocked when Jamie Lynn Spears announced she was pregnant (and provided my with a great new Guitar Hero band name: "Jamie Lynn's Baby"), but shouldn't something be done about the fact that a 16-year-old girl got knocked up by a 19-year-old boy? Or have just finally realized that a celebrities are whores?
- Holiday time is when the most wonderful culinary wishes can come true.
Holiday Greetings from GT, TBD©’s In-House Counsel
Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of subsequent holiday greetings, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of subsequent holiday greetings, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Something New, Something Blue, . . .
. . . but never something borrowed. With the help of the list of things needed to get married (as I will be, come next August), I am proud to announce the arrival of a new post (trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare, fanfare, fanfare . . . fireworks . . . thank you, you're all too kind). As usual, these words are all my own, never borrowed. Unfortunately, I have been forced to face a cruel reality, one that makes me blue (read: sad . . . see how I did that?). I share this reality with you now.
Do you remember way back when the producers of Saved By The Bell decided to make a second senior year of high school? I do, and at first I was excited. I did not know how I was going to cope with the loss of my good friends Zack, Albert Clifford, and Samuel; they were practically family. And what about getting the latest gossip from Lisa, or daydreaming about the head cheerleader/homecoming queen/swim team member/cheating Kelly, or getting annoyed with the neurotic Jessie (especially when she goes and gets hooked on caffeine pills . . . "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so . . . scared!")? So, needless to say, I was relieved to hear that senior year part two was going to happen.
Sure, some changes needed to be made. The same class coming back for a second round would have seemed a little odd. So Jessie decided it was best for her to go pursue her dreams of being a big-screen actress (if you can call taking your clothes for all your roles being an actress). Kelly also decided it was best that she go and sleep with every single male living in Beverly Hills, 90210 (no comment from Zack's people on how he's responding). Then there was the new girl in town, the "biker chick' Tori, who spent half the time being a bad-ass and half the time trying to discover her feminine side. Now, interesting enough, although the Tori episodes were filmed after the first senior year episodes, they aired simultaneously on NBC, alternating weeks. All that being said, the second senior year was a disappointment. Although the episode that features The Five Aces still ranks as one of my favorites, the second senior year left me feeling blue.
But the second senior year of Saved By The Bell is not the only thing that has left me feeling blue. This is the second year of Dean Lombardi's rebuilding plan for the Los Angeles Kings, and it seems to be worse than the first. If you take a moment to peruse the Pacific Division standings over in the right-hand column, you will see the Kings there at the bottom. The team is currently in the middle of not their first or second, but third five-game losing streak of the season and we are not even to the half way point. If I posted the standings for the entire National Hockey League, you would see the Kings at the very bottom; they are the only team that has not reached the thirty-point mark. As usual, the Kings are being let down by their defense and goaltending; they have given up the most goals (119) in the league. The team only has five players with a plus/minus rating of even or better, but only one of those five has played more than twenty games.
But like the episode featuring The Five Aces, the Kings second season under Dean Lombardi is not all bad. Their top line of Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, and Michael Cammalleri (who My Better Half thinks is rather good looking) all putting up some great numbers having scored 15, 16, and 14 goals respectively. All three are proving that are the future of the Kings and are all possible NHL superstars (Kopitar, only in his second season, is already, arguably, there). The Kings also gave 19-year-old goalie Jonathan Bernier a few games to get his feet wet before sending him back to Juniors (they were forced to do so based on some crazy NHL rule). Although he only won one of his four starts, Bernier looked sharp in all but one of the games he played. All signs point to him being the Kings goaltender of the future, and a good one at that. The Kings have also played in two memorable games this season. The staged a dramatic comeback on November 10th, beating Dallas 6-5 in overtime after trailing 4-0 midway through the third period. Then, on December 6th, they beat the Buffalo Sabres 8-2; at one point the Kings had seven goals to the Sabres' eight shots. Needless to say, it was a fun game to watch.
Through thirty-five games last season, the Kings were 12-18-5; this year, they are 12-21-2. Although all signs point to the Kings regressing this season, I am not ready to give up on them just yet (yes Dad, I'm always the optimist). There are still forty-seven games left in the season. That is plenty of time for the Kings to turn things around and at least show some signs of improvement. Do I think they will make the playoffs? No, not really; but I still believe they can have a better record than the 27-41-14 record they posted last season. Although we will not be seeing Bernier anymore this season, hopefully LaBarbara can fully recover from the rib injury he suffered a few weeks. The Kings have shown they can score, in bunches when necessary, but it is time for the defense and goaltending to keep the puck out of their net. If they can shore up the defense, the Kings are capable of making a nice run.
A lot of fans have already written off this season and, while I am not one of them, I do not blame them. But some are also going as far as saying there is no end in sight to the Kings' ineptitude. I would not be willing to go that far because you never know what will happen between now and season. Besides, if this season does not get any better, the Kings will be calling Steven Stamkos' name as the number one overall pick in the 2008 Entry Draft.
And remember, Saved By The Bell: The College Years turned out way better than anyone expected.
Do you remember way back when the producers of Saved By The Bell decided to make a second senior year of high school? I do, and at first I was excited. I did not know how I was going to cope with the loss of my good friends Zack, Albert Clifford, and Samuel; they were practically family. And what about getting the latest gossip from Lisa, or daydreaming about the head cheerleader/homecoming queen/swim team member/cheating Kelly, or getting annoyed with the neurotic Jessie (especially when she goes and gets hooked on caffeine pills . . . "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so . . . scared!")? So, needless to say, I was relieved to hear that senior year part two was going to happen.
Sure, some changes needed to be made. The same class coming back for a second round would have seemed a little odd. So Jessie decided it was best for her to go pursue her dreams of being a big-screen actress (if you can call taking your clothes for all your roles being an actress). Kelly also decided it was best that she go and sleep with every single male living in Beverly Hills, 90210 (no comment from Zack's people on how he's responding). Then there was the new girl in town, the "biker chick' Tori, who spent half the time being a bad-ass and half the time trying to discover her feminine side. Now, interesting enough, although the Tori episodes were filmed after the first senior year episodes, they aired simultaneously on NBC, alternating weeks. All that being said, the second senior year was a disappointment. Although the episode that features The Five Aces still ranks as one of my favorites, the second senior year left me feeling blue.
But the second senior year of Saved By The Bell is not the only thing that has left me feeling blue. This is the second year of Dean Lombardi's rebuilding plan for the Los Angeles Kings, and it seems to be worse than the first. If you take a moment to peruse the Pacific Division standings over in the right-hand column, you will see the Kings there at the bottom. The team is currently in the middle of not their first or second, but third five-game losing streak of the season and we are not even to the half way point. If I posted the standings for the entire National Hockey League, you would see the Kings at the very bottom; they are the only team that has not reached the thirty-point mark. As usual, the Kings are being let down by their defense and goaltending; they have given up the most goals (119) in the league. The team only has five players with a plus/minus rating of even or better, but only one of those five has played more than twenty games.
But like the episode featuring The Five Aces, the Kings second season under Dean Lombardi is not all bad. Their top line of Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, and Michael Cammalleri (who My Better Half thinks is rather good looking) all putting up some great numbers having scored 15, 16, and 14 goals respectively. All three are proving that are the future of the Kings and are all possible NHL superstars (Kopitar, only in his second season, is already, arguably, there). The Kings also gave 19-year-old goalie Jonathan Bernier a few games to get his feet wet before sending him back to Juniors (they were forced to do so based on some crazy NHL rule). Although he only won one of his four starts, Bernier looked sharp in all but one of the games he played. All signs point to him being the Kings goaltender of the future, and a good one at that. The Kings have also played in two memorable games this season. The staged a dramatic comeback on November 10th, beating Dallas 6-5 in overtime after trailing 4-0 midway through the third period. Then, on December 6th, they beat the Buffalo Sabres 8-2; at one point the Kings had seven goals to the Sabres' eight shots. Needless to say, it was a fun game to watch.
Through thirty-five games last season, the Kings were 12-18-5; this year, they are 12-21-2. Although all signs point to the Kings regressing this season, I am not ready to give up on them just yet (yes Dad, I'm always the optimist). There are still forty-seven games left in the season. That is plenty of time for the Kings to turn things around and at least show some signs of improvement. Do I think they will make the playoffs? No, not really; but I still believe they can have a better record than the 27-41-14 record they posted last season. Although we will not be seeing Bernier anymore this season, hopefully LaBarbara can fully recover from the rib injury he suffered a few weeks. The Kings have shown they can score, in bunches when necessary, but it is time for the defense and goaltending to keep the puck out of their net. If they can shore up the defense, the Kings are capable of making a nice run.
A lot of fans have already written off this season and, while I am not one of them, I do not blame them. But some are also going as far as saying there is no end in sight to the Kings' ineptitude. I would not be willing to go that far because you never know what will happen between now and season. Besides, if this season does not get any better, the Kings will be calling Steven Stamkos' name as the number one overall pick in the 2008 Entry Draft.
And remember, Saved By The Bell: The College Years turned out way better than anyone expected.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Calling In Sick Today
I am calling in sick to work today so that I can go watch the second round of the Target World Challenge hosted by Tiger Woods at Lake Sherwood Country Club. My managing partner is a big golf fan so he is more jealous than annoyed that I called in sick (I asked permission). Having already billed 40+ hours this week did not hurt my cause either. But I did not want to leave you, my avid readers, hanging without a way to get through your Friday, so here are some stories to hopefully keep you entertained:
- Having perfected her ability to flip-flop on the issues, Katherine Heigl announces she will be seeking office in the 2008 election.
- It is good to know that stupid criminals do not take the holiday season off.
- Explain to me again why paying the writers a few extra bucks for shows that appear on the Internet is not worth it?
- Angelina Jolie loves all children not birthed by her.
- Child welfare is investigating multiple abuse claims after TomKat take Suri to two Spice Girls concerts in three nights.
- Hey coach, I am not exactly sure how this will improve team moral, but I am sure you have your reasons.
- No gays in the military . . . unless, of course, we are running low on troops.
- Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious
- It's easy to do, just follow these steps . . .
Friday, December 07, 2007
This Is Harder Than It Looks...
Like learning to ride a bike, or taking the California Bar, or sharing an "intimate" moment with your lady friend for the first time, maintaining a Weblog (or "blog" for short) is harder than it looks. I understand how people can make it a full time job . . . though I still do not understand how they are able to make a decent living off of it. I do my best to find the time to keep you all entertained, and it is hard. I apologize for not having anything new for you this week, but this holiday season is kicking my behind. There I was watching the Kings beat up on the Buffalo Sabres last night (at one point in the game, midway through the second period, the Kings had 7 goals and the Sabres had 8 shots), and all I could think about was work, getting presents for people, the Victoria's Secret fashion show (average at best; though I did learn that Marisa Miller's nickname is "The Bombshell" . . . see banner picture above for visual proof or just go here), and writing a new post for you all to enjoy. It will come, I promise, but I cannot say when unfortunately. For now, I hope you enjoy the brief break from reality that I can provide you every Friday afternoon. Here are some things you might have missed:
- Stephen A. Smith says bloggers are unqualified to disseminate information. Anyone who has watched ESPN within the last three years says Stephen A. Smith is unqualified to think and speak at the same time. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce "Screamin'" A. Smith to the 1st Amendment, you know, the reason he has a job and all.
- Hillary is melting down faster than the Baltimore Ravens in the 4th quarter. Blame it on the officials Hillary.
- I demand a recount.
- I guess we should be glad that Congress is even planning to work at all in 2008.
- The Writers' Strike is still going on? I did not even notice that all the shows I watch have stopped running new episodes. I am glad it will not have any affect on next years schedule.
- Milli Vanilli may have told you to blame it on the rain, but when that fails you might as well blame it on . . . the Spice Girls?
- Protecting "the twins" since 1907.
- Dodgers are looking to sign her to a 5-year, $65 million contract.
Today we have a triple feature for your viewing pleasure, all public service announcements to prepare you for the new year:
- Parents, do NOT let your children play in youth soccer leagues. They are getting entirely too dangerous.
- Apparently mine fields are a bigger problem then I realized. (YouTube account required . . . do yourself a favor and get one).
- Some familiar faces would like to remind you to go green.
Have a great weekend everyone!
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