It is odd what we can remember and what we can not. For some reason, I can still recall where I was when I heard the news that Chris Farley, of all people, had died (for the record, I was driving home from the local mall with mom . . . it probably helps that it was the day after my seventeenth birthday as well). I was a big fan of Farley's movies and his physical style of comedy. It was the suddenness with which the news broke that has permanently left that image ingrained in my head.
Like that day in December 1997, I will always remember that I was sitting at my desk in my office on June 25, 2009 when I received the following text from My Better Half: "wow, farrah fawcett and michael jackson both in one day" (am I the only person on this planet who makes the painstaking effort to ensure that even my text message's are grammatically correct?). I had heard that Fawcett had passed away. Most people knew it was coming after a long battle with cancer. And I had heard that Jackson had been taken to the hospital, but I had assumed it was just another one of his random illnesses. I did not even notice that, apparently, several of the support staff members of my firm were visibly shaken by the news. I can not say I was ever a huge Jackson 5 or Michael Jackson fan, but as a music lover/former performer, I appreciated the music and, to this day, have a good number of their songs on my iPod. I will even go so far as to say my favorite music video of all time is one of Jackson's (and, no, it's not Thriller). And while I may not be the biggest Jackson fan (mostly because all of his other issues factor in with me), I can not deny the global impact he had; the way he brought people of different cultures, religions, and nationalities together. And he truly was the greatest performer, at least of this generation. Even with all his legal issues of the past few years, the tributes currently going on around the world are all well deserved.
And now, to the less important, but more likely to make you smile portion of our weekly Link Dump. Here are some things you might have missed:
- A draft lottery of . . .er . . . different sorts. The kind of sorts we men prefer (if you get my drift *wink*).
- The highlight of last night's NBA draft? Kevin Love's tweets of course. Questioning of your organization's decision-making process? Check. Calling the organization outright crazy? Check. Realizing that is probably not the best career move? Check. Cracking a joke at David Stern's expense? He saved the best for last.
- Jeff Jordan makes a wise decision in what I can only imagine is a no-win situation.
- Mike Garrett thinks highly of himself (what would you expect from a Trojan?). Thankfully, the rest of us have a brain.
- A photo gallery of the Oregon Ducks' new football jerseys. No, this is not a repeat of 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 . . .
- It was an exciting week for recreational golfers: (1) they should have probably just let him play through; and (b) nothing like a DUI in your golf cart.
- Speaking of golf, do you often find yourself getting it confused with another . . . shall we say . . . "recreational activity"?
- Your sexist comment of the week goes to . . . (*spins wheel*) . . . Lleyton Hewitt. Congratulations Lleyton, enjoy the next week on the couch instead of in bed with her.
- Just to recap: killing a man, thirty days; stealing Lance Armstrong's bike, three years.
- Hey ladies, have a couple . . . err . . . problem spots you would like taken care of? Well, the Mahoning Valley Scrappers have a fan giveaway for you.
When I think of the "King of Pop", I can not help but think of some of the amazing music videos he made. Whether it be Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean, or Scream, they were are all pretty amazing. But there is still one that, in my opinion, tops them all. So we start this week's video portion of the Link Dump with my tribute to MJ:
- "You've been hit by . . . (dun, dun) . . . you've been hit by . . ."
- Listened to FM radio this morning on the drive into work (once DP was over), heard a little Boston, was reminded of this.
- Mash-ups of classic press-conference moments never get old, especially when they are good.
- Conan O'Brien is supposedly loosing viewership in the fly-over states. I wonder why?
- We are tweet-happy this week (caution: some strong language).
- Apparently that bat trick from last week was just the warm-up to this.
Have a great weekend everyone!
It has been one crazy week. My Better Half and I are getting ready to move tomorrow morning, which means I have spent all week packing up the "old" place. I also thought it would be a good time to get a lump of scar tissue removed, which means I am down to one arm during this whole process. So, between those two tasks and, of course, actual work (wait, what?), it has been a crazy week. That has left me feeling like there is no time, like there is never any time, and like I will never get into Stanford. Oh well, my college years were pretty solid as is, I guess I will just have to live with it. But rest assured, my dear readers, that, come hell or high water, at least once a week I will still have time for you. For no person should be forced to endure a Friday without a Link Dump brought to you by the fine folks here at GameTime, TBD©.
And what a week it was. The most valuable player of the week had to be the American justice system, which, in its infinite wisdom, allowed Dante Stallworth to plead out his DUI-Manslaughter case and sentenced him to thirty days in prison. So, just to recap: killing dogs, two years; killing a human being, thirty days. Now, do not get me wrong, I can not stand the thought of what Michael Vick did. He deserved what he got. But how can we be surprised that people have lost a little faith in our justice system (and think that athletes get a free pass) when something like this happens? Yes, I understand that Stallworth had to pay the family a sizable chunk of change for their civil suit, but that does not change the fact he killed someone, accidentally or not. The dude had a blood alcohol level of .12 . . . at 7 a.m. the next morning. His thirty-day sentence is fifteen days less than Paris Hilton was sentenced to back in 2007 for a simple probation violation. Sure, he will also have to spend two years under house arrest, wearing one of those nice little ankle bracelets (can I get that with diamonds? a Nike logo?), but I would hardly call that "hard time".
What I have to keep reminding myself, however, is that this was a plea bargain. Stallworth agreed to plead guilty for a reduced sentence that was offered to him by the district attorney and agreed to by the presiding judge. Michael Vick did the same thing. So, really, we should be asking the district attorney and judge why they would think this was justice being served; why thirty days for the taking of a person's life is equivalent to two years for animal cruelty of the worst kind. And that is what leaves me scratching my head.
Enough negative talk. It is Friday; a day we are supposed to be happy about. So while I go track down some Tylenol to take the pain away (where the stitches are, I'm no pill popper), here are some things you might have missed:
- Have we already forgotten that Matt Millen was the worst GM in the history of the NFL?
- Mr. Irrelevant now officially Mr. Making-It-Rain.
- Someone needs to turn Ryan Leaf's life into a movie . . . seriously.
- Need a deal on a new car? Call Ed O'Bannon.
- Since Meyer's arrival, you may have noticed that Florida football, while winning lots of games, has had a few (read: 24) run-ins with the law. Now meet their attorney; a guy who puts the word a** in class.
- This guy has a weird way of showing his appreciation for Bill Simmons. [Editor's Note: If you'd prefer to skip the Lakers/Kobe ball-washing, feel free to jump straight to point 4.]
- Are you graduating? Are you graduating? There's no graduating! THERE'S NO GRADUATING IN BASEBALL!
- Ump lets high school players experience life as a Washington Nationals' player.
- The rights to Mel Hall acquired by state of Texas, and for good reason.
- Women . . . loud grunts and groans . . . I am sure there is a joke in here somewhere. [Editor's Note: and here's a game to keep you occupied for a little bit.]
- I hope this guy remembered his swim trunks and his flippie-floppies.
- "But I guess I'd rather be alive than play soccer."
It is always nice to end on a happy note . . . which is why we have videos, and some good ones at that if may take a moment to toot my own horn. There were a lot of candidates this week, and instead of trying to narrow them down, we have decided to let you have all of them (go big or go home, right?). Say good-bye to your afternoon, cause you have some watching to do:
Have a great weekend everyone!
. . . so little time.
When I closed up shop and headed home for the night yesterday, I instantly started thinking about the introduction for today's Link Dump. I had a lot of options. I had a break through in my golf lessons that has me all fired up about getting my game back to pre-law school form (i.e., when I played for my college team). Also, on Tuesday night, I met Pete Carroll. Well, meet might be a strong verb; I really just said hi. My mother always taught me that if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. So I kept my mouth shut [things I could have said included (1) Did you thank Tim Floyd for taking the fall for you?; (b) recruiting a little young these days, aren't we (he was holding a baby)?; or (III) How's that Song Girl coach doing these days?]. I also thought about going with an apology for the lack of original content thus far this summer. I feel like I have been letting all of my avid readers down lately and the guilt is starting to weigh me down. But all of that was trumped by something that is becoming all too common in basketball (both college and professional).
When you are leading by three with less than the length of the shot clock remaining in the game, you foul. You do not let Derek Fisher dribble across center court and pull up for an uncontested three (and you certainly don't walk back to your bench afterwards with a stupid smile on your face while the rest of your team looks shell-shocked; yes, I'm talking to you Jameer Nelson). I have seen it far too many times in basketball games, with last night's Lakers/Magic game equalling that of the 2008 Memphis/Kansas NCAA Championship game. The theory is simple: as soon as the team crosses center court, you foul the person with the ball. They take their two shots from the free throw line and at best, AT BEST, pull their team to within one. You get the ball back, get to burn a second or two more off the clock, and will end up shooting free throws yourself. You make them, and force your opponent to try a desperate long range three to tie, or maybe win if you missed one. Regardless, their last second shot is not going to be easy, and the odds are in your favor.
Why is this so difficult to understand (and why is it so difficult for Boobs McGee to find her seat)? It gets me fired up every time. If I were the Magic, I would fire Stan Van Gundy and cut Jameer Nelson on the spot. I would have done the same with John Calipari in 2008 (well, I would have never even hired Calipari in the first place, but that's just me getting personal). I do not care how much you trust your defense. You take any chance of a tie, no matter how remote, out of the equation. If you allow a team to make a last-second three to send it to overtime, you have roughly a zero percent chance of winning. You could see it in the faces of the Memphis players in 2008 after Collins made his shot, and you could see it last night in the body language of the Magic after Fisher made his. You might as well not even come out for overtime at that point.
Just thinking about that idiotic look on Jameer Nelson's face has got me all fired up again. I need to go for a walk or something. So while I do that, here are some things you might have missed:
- Somehow this piece set off yet another mainstream media attack on the blogging world. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a 42-year-old living in my parents basement . . .
- Fact: you are a d-bag.
- Montana joins Washington, much to the surprise of Idaho.
- Orwellian injury disclosure policy . . . blah, blah, blah . . . shrouds of subterfuge . . . ya-da, ya-da, ya-da . . . damaged testicle . . . wait, what?
- Andy Sandberg, on a boat; Tom Brady, not.
- I can't quit you, Carson.
- Remember when the Rams had one of the most lovable owners in the NFL? That might be about to change.
- Just to recap: he did not kill nobody, or rape nobody. Oh, Manny.
- Remember this ESPN the Magazine commercial? Hopefully they listen to their advice, go with primarily female athletes.
- When running a sportsbook, are you not supposed to make money?
- There is no "I" in "team", but there is a me.
It was a banner week in terms of video entertainment. My sources kept coming up with great stuff from all around the globe. In my opinion, you all are in for quite a treat this week. I am not even going to waste any more of your time and am going to get right to it:
- If you have not seen The Hangover yet, here is some of what you have been missing.
- This Remi fellow, yeah, he is alright (and I am doing fine, thanks for asking).
- Look, I am all for videotaping your child's early years; there are sure to be great memories. But posting things on the Internet so they can then be spliced together into a comedic video is bad form (and we thank you for it).
- This video totally reminded me of Billy Madison, only in real life.
- Steve Nash: better point guard or reporter? You decide.
- No tag line I write will match the greatness of our last video. You. Are. Welcome.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Sorry for last week's lack of a Link Dump (say that ten times fast). Believe you me, there are few things in this world the Chief looks forward to more than a weekend of forced interaction with his entire firm. Anywho, we are back in the game this week.
If you did not notice, the Los Angeles Lakers are back in the NBA Finals. What is that you say? You did notice? My guess is that the eleventy-billion window flags gave it away. Is there anything more annoying than a car with a Lakers window flag? Why yes, a car with a Lakers window flag on both rear windows. Two weekends ago, when I driving home from Palm Springs, I was behind a car that had two window flags on its rear window. Predictably, one of them broke off and hit my car. For a split second, I felt like running the car off the road (not mine, hers . . . it's always women . . . ), but I thought that would be letting the driver off too easy. Instead, I took solace in thought of her reaction when she reached her destination, only to discover one of her beloved window flags had broken off. Probably not a good night to be that girl's main squeeze (though, having seen her, it begs the question: is there ever a good night?).
But more annoying than window flags, is the entitlement complex most fans and the media have about "their" Lakers. They made it this far, so the championship deserves to be theirs; it is as if Boston beating them last year is the greatest travesty of the past twenty years. How are the Lakers not as hated as the Yankees? Lakers fans are just as arrogant. I mean, Orlando has made it this far, why are they not entitled to it? For starters, they clearly have the hotter cheerleaders, and you know that is worth something . . . at least in my book. I know last night's Magic performance does not help my point any, but I do not think Orlando is just going to roll over (I hope). I think they will make a series out of this yet.
Do not get me wrong, the atmosphere in Los Angeles is always great when the Lakers make the Finals, and I hope the Lakers win (after all, I can watch the parade from my office). But lets give the other guys some credit . . . and put away the damn window flags.
So, while I stare out my office window, counting window flags on the passing cars for the rest of the afternoon (if numbers actually go that high), here are some things you might have missed:
- Apparently you can "perfect your game" with Anna Kournikova. I would rather just bid for that date with May Anderson . . . after all, my game is already perfect.
- Twenty-seven points? That is about twenty-seven too many if you ask me.
- Remember those problems with the Phoenix Coyotes we talked about a few weeks ago? Well, I never, ever, ever would have seen this coming. Ever. Shocking.
- Tough decisions must be made in these tough economic times.
- Simmons doing what Simmons does best . . . ball-washing the Red Sox of course. What did you think I meant?
- So, let us see now, looks like all this kid needs to do now is break every MLB record . . . those expectations should not be tough to meet.
- Thankfully Deadspin took the time to (1) track all of SI's "Chosen Ones" and (B) track the moonshot.
- Danica Patrick says what baseball players knew fifteen years ago, takes heat.
- Sosa has hall of fame induction speech all ready to go . . . apparently forgetting that one must be inducted to give said speech.
- "You don't even see that in tee ball." Well played, sir. Well played.
- Memphis probes alleged violations about as well as it shoots free throws.
- I love you Golden State, please [don't] draft me.
- Does that come with a happy ending?
- What are the chances that Brett Favre reads soccer news?
Boy, I do not know about you, but I am still reeling from that Gretzky news (fifty-seven, fifty-eight, sixty). That is just totally unbelievable (sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy). Regardless, let us move on to the more important stuff (eighty-five, eight-six, ninety).
- "And the pigeon is no more" . . .
- . . . which reminds me, congrats to Randy Johnson on his 300th . . . win that is.
- In honor of the upcoming SBC movie, Bruno, here is one of the best Ali G clips of all time (or you could just go and check out the thirteen greatest Bruno moments from the show . . . slightly NSFW).
- Ouch . . . that about sums it up.
- From the Vault: what is that noise?
I think my favorite part of that Randy Johnson video (one hundred ten, one hundred eleven) is the catcher's reaction. Just watch how he bails out of there.
Have a great weekend everyone (one hundred thirty-three, one hundred thirty-four)!
