Shelter From the Storm

Well, a mighty winter storm has descended upon Southern California. I always find it funny that when it rains for a couple days in a room in Southern California, you would think Armageddon is upon us and the world is coming to an end. Though I do not respond the same way (I love the rain), apparently my apartment does. My apartment has thrown in the towel to the hard rain and has sprung a leak. It is nothing major right now, just a constant drip by the front door, but the discoloration of the ceiling makes me worried that something worse might be in works.

But I am not going to let that get me down. I have been having a great week and thanks to my second place finish in my firm's Fantasy Football League, a brand new Xbox 360 should be arriving at any moment. But I am not going to let the excitement of my new toy from keeping me from my GameTime, TBD© duties. So, here are some interesting things you might have missed this week:

• You might recall that, about a month ago, Screamin' A. Smith stated that bloggers should not be welcome in the sports community, were unprofessional, were bad for sports, etc. Well, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Screamin's official blog. I am sure Phil Collins, Hall & Oates, and "Hot Rod" Stewart are glad to know he is fan.
• Romosexuals of the world rejoice, Jessica Simpson has been benched . . . permanently.
• I do not know what is worse, the fact that Britain has a national memory champion or that said national champion was beaten by a chump . . . er . . . I mean chimp.
• Would-be suicide bomber straps bomb to chest, trips down stairs. Any guess how this story ends?
• If you are planning on robbing a bank and using the bus as a clever getaway vehicle, I think it would be a good idea to know the bus schedule.
• Needed: new location to cover-up a massive sex scandal. If you can help, please contact the L.A. Catholics.
• Herschel Walker was traded for 11 players over the course of his career, or, one for each personality.
• I do not have a catchy tag line for this article, it is beyond explanation.

As for your Friday viewing pleasure, I bring you a little fun and a little sadness:

• Remind me never to get knocked out in Dallas.
• In honor of Heath Ledger and in response to his truly untimely death, I present to you the trailer for his last feature film performance. Hollywood lost a true young talent this week.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Would You Rather . . .

[DISCLAIMER: I ran this by My Better Half before posting it]

Usually, when it has taken GameTime, TBD© a while to get some new original content up, I lead with an apology. Not this time. The truth of the matter is that I had been working on, what only can be described as, an epic post when two things dawned on me: (1) at one thousand words and counting the post was far too long; and (b) the topic is much more suited for the end of the National Hockey League season, not pre-All Star break. So, I copied and pasted what I had written into a word document and put it on the shelf for a period time. Thankfully, a new topic fell into my lap this morning.

For those of you of have been following my weekly "Link Dump" column, you way recall that last week I made reference to the "Would You Rather" desk calendar my soon-to-be Mother-in-Law gave me in my Christmas stocking. I flipped through it on Christmas and found that I enjoyed most of the ones I read, so I decided to bring it into my office so I could have a little entertainment first thing in the morning. What I did not realize, however, is how many of the days would make for interesting discussion topic, especially on GameTime, TBD©. I thought I would start with today's "Would You Rather" which reads:

Would you rather have sex with Eva Longoria OR have sex with Rachel Ray and have her cook for you each night? (Emphasis in original.)

My gut instinct was to go with Eva Longoria, but I thought there might be more to this. For starters, neither of these two ladies have made my "Celebrity 5" list (you know, the list of celebrities that, if the opportunity arose, you could hook up with and not have to suffer any adverse consequences from your significant other? My list is fairly exclusive and actually has only two people on it right now. I am sure you all know who they are by now, they are displayed prominently on my header. To this day, My Better Half claims Marisa Miller is naked in that picture and I have to remind her that GameTime, TBD© is a family friendly, sometimes PG-13, environment so I would never include a naked picture of someone . . . but I digress). This means that I do not really hold either of these women in high esteem. So, they would have to work for it. And now you see my dilemma: according to the language of the question, Rachel Ray IS willing to work for it. What to do?

When searching for the answer to important questions like this, there is only one place to start: Ask Jeeves. Having asked Jeeves the original question, his first response is that Eva Longoria is rumored to have a sex tape. Nice! Point, Longoria. But as it turns out, Jeeves does not actually answer questions, he is a search engine in disguise. Who knew? So, I must turn to the ultimate source of information, the all-knowing (and ALWAYS correct) Wikipedia. As it turns out Eva Longoria is on her second marriage (San Antonio point guard Tony Parker, a French dude) and her first husband was some soap opera star (who I'm sure can only be described as a tool); she has also been romantically linked to an ex-N'SYNC singer and an ex-N'SYNC back-up dancer (wow, a back-up dancer?). Rachel Ray, on the other hand, is still on her first marriage and, although there are rumors of a divorce, I appreciate that she has not been around the block and back again . . . at least publicly. Point, Ray.

In terms of hotness factor, there really is no debate. If you know me (and if you know My Better Half), you know I like petite women. Eva Longoria fits that description; she is small but, at the same time, does not look emaciated. Rachel Ray, although not large by any stretch of the imagination, has a set of shoulders that makes it look like she could be playing linebacker in the National Football League (and while I am here talking about manly features of women, I'd like to know why so many women want to have biceps bigger than men? Seriously ladies, not attractive. Stick to the toned look; the heads you turn will have more looks of lust than fear). And having reviewed both women's spread in men's magazines online (Longoria appeared in Maxim, Ray in FHM), it is safe to say that Eva Longoria has much better "assets" (Zing!). Point, Longoria.

But then we get back to the fact that Rachel Ray is willing to work for it; she will cook for me each night. I can only speculate that that would mean a gourmet meal seven nights per week. Now, most of you would think that this is a good thing (like My Better Half said in responding to the question, "I'd tolerate the sex with Rachel Ray because a girl's gotta eat"). Now, I would normally agree with that line of reasoning, but if you have been following my other life (yes, I know, I've been blog-cheating on all of you and I'm sorry), you know I am in the middle of an aggressive weight loss program. So, that being said, a gourmet meal every night is probably not the best for me right now. Sorry Rachel, but point, Longoria.

So there you have it, apparently I would rather have sex with Eva Longoria. Like my teachers always told me when taking a multiple choice test: trust your gut instinct, it is right more than it is wrong (I probably would have done better on the SAT and LSAT if I had). It also would have saved you all from having to read this, just like if the question had been "would you rather have Marc Crawford or Andy Murray as the Los Angeles Kings head coach?" That one is a no-brainer, Andy Murray any day of the week and twice on Sunday . . . just like Longoria and I. But she is still not on my list.

It's A Long Weekend

I am trying to get my weekly link dump up a little earlier today because many of you probably have plans for the long weekend. You might be heading up to the slopes to get in some skiing, or taking the weekend as an opportunity to visit some friends you do not get to see very often. As for me, it is business as usual this weekend because come Monday morning, I will be back at work slaving away just like any other Monday.

I got a "Would you rather . . . " desk calendar from my soon-to-be Mother-in-Law for Christmas, so I decided to bring it to work to provide me with some daily entertainment. My friends and I always used to play a rousing game or two of "Would you rather . . . " when we would travel or were up late and in that "special" state of being. Anyways, with all the news that has been swirling lately, I found it ironic that today's question was "Would you rather . . . as a child, be reared by Britney Spears or K-Fed?" Wow! You ask this question 12 months ago and I think everyone would have picked Britney without blinking an eye. Who would have ever thought that K-Fed, the tool of all tools, would have come out on top? Though it was tough to do this week, here are some non-Britney related things you might have missed:

• Of all the things the fraternity likely did over the past year, you are going to get upset about some midget wrestling?
• I appreciate that the Girl Scouts are trying to make their cookies a little healthier, but don't you think they should start with the crack cocaine they have packaged as "Thin Mints"? Seriously, I could put down a box of those things without breaking a sweat.
• Death to Bobby Fischer: Checkmate!
• When are people going to learn? If you are going to commit a crime of some sort, do not put a video of it on YouTube or MySpace (also, I wouldn't recommend taunting the authorities at the same time; for some reason, they don't really like that).
  
• U.S. Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-umbass . . . err . . . I mean, D-Ohio) grills the Chairman of the Federal Reserve about his involvement in the subprime mortgage crisis . . . under belief he his actually U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.
• Democrats continue putting your tax dollars to good use . . . if by "good use" you mean in a way that helps the American people in no way, shape or form.
• Having finally put the sex scandal behind them, the Vatican moves on to the next most pressing issue facing the Church: Is Harry Potter evil?
• I can total see how PETA thinks the two are related (crickets . . . crickets . . . crickets).

And for your weekly viewing pleasure, I have a couple of totally unrelated, yet very enjoyable, clips for you:

• And, he's out.
• Am I supposed to be impressed? Well good . . . cause I am.

Have a great (long) weekend everyone!

[Late update for those of you still working this afternoon: Jimmy Carter wants you to know how he feels about the state of America at this moment.

Thanks for the Memories!

Do not fear, I am not closing shop. Rather, this is my fiftieth post here on GameTime, TBD©, and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you, my avid fans and dedicated readers, for checking in every once and a while and having the decency to tell me that you actually enjoy what you are reading. As I am sure you know, the path to fifty was not straight and clear; it was filled with twists and turns, and ups and downs. But I made it and I am really looking forward to the next fifty. I am currently working a post regarding the Kings' (awful) performance thus far this season and rumors are circulating the apartment that My Better Half is preparing to make her long-awaited debut (I guess it is only a matter of time before you want to hear less of me and more of her . . . it's a common occurrence in my life, no hard feelings). We also have a few special features lined up for you in the coming months, but only when the time is right. I thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for all your support and I am looking forward to all the things to come. As for what is going on in the world, here are some things you may have missed:

• Seattle place-kicker Josh Brown is going to wear hot pants during this Saturday's game at Green Bay (with bonus photoshopped pic here).
• The passing of Sir Edmund Hillary (and his fantastic teeth) makes me wonder: what about Tenzing Norgay?
• I have never been so proud to be able to call England the land of my birth . . . only in London baby!
• The battle for Earth has begun; it was only a matter of time.
• The subject of the joke is not offended but Al Sharpton is . . . enough said.
• Good idea: stealing knives from a store. Better idea: try to sneak them out in your pants. The result: obvious.
• Here is a better idea, don't get pregnant in high school.
• I am sure this makes it all better.

I hope you are a soccer fan because for your weekly viewing pleasure I have a couple soccer-related clips for you:

• So it IS as obvious as it looks on television.
• Since when have soccer teams had mascots? (warning: visible man junk for a brief moment or two . . . but great ending).

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Update: My Better Half wanted me to link everyone to this video of a 4-week old polar bear rolling around a crib with a . . . wait for it . . . stuffed polar bear. You'd think because it's CNN there would be reporting along with video. Nope, just any noise the little guy makes. I'll admit, he's pretty cute, but I hope My Better Half's first post is a little more entertaining. Zing!]

Welcome Back!

Sorry this post is coming out a little later in the day than usual. I hope your New Year has gotten off to a good start and that your New Years resolutions are still going strong. I know it has only been four days, but I am still going strong with my resolutions. My week has been thrown off by the 1st of January falling on a Tuesday. When I came back to work on Wednesday, I kept thinking it was only Monday and I would get bummed out about having a full week of work. But then I would remember it was Wednesday and that made me happy again. It was a very Office Space moment. But that did not stop some random stuff from happening, so here are some of the things you might have missed:

• Even though she got knocked up at age 16, for a while there I thought Jamie Lynn would turn out better than Britney. As expected, I was wrong.
• Speaking of Britney (but not of her apparent mental breakdown), the hits just keep on coming.
• Completing the Spears trifecta, this may mark the first time in history that K-Fed has ever given support to a woman.
• ESPN takes USC's d--k out of its mouth long enough to declare it the best team in college football . . . shocking.
• Jennifer Garner named West Virginian of the Year, exploiting her hotness to barely edge out "The One Guy with High-Speed Internet" and "Chicken Raping Zeke."
• It may only be the 4th of January, but it is never to early to have our first candidate for 2008's Dumbest Criminal of the Year.
• Think that real estate slump might make it easier to find an affordable place in New York City? Think again.
• Here is everything you need to get ready for this Sunday night.

Unfortunately, the New Year has not brought with it a slew of entertaining clips (but the year is young). I do have one, however, that I think you will find enjoyable:

• People are campaigning for everything now-a-days.

Have a great weekend everyone!