Can some one please tell me when we stopped wishing people a happy Thanksgiving and started wishing them a happy turkey day? I mean, I know I just did that, but I am trying to make a point here. Have our lives become so distraught that we really do not have anything to be thankful for and, thus, must rejoice only in the fact that we get to eat a lot of turkey? As you may recall from the early, pre-awesome banner pic days of GameTime, TBD© (read: 2006), there are a lot of things to be thankful for around the GameTime household.
Well, as I mentally prepare myself for the tomorrows food-a-thon (somehow, I got put in charge of bringing vegetables and dip to snack on . . . thus, implying that some one might actually eat vegetables on Thanksgiving), and as I look back on the year that was, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. For example, both my Sister and Sister-in-Law recently announced that they are expecting (they, didn't clarify exactly what they were expecting, but they seemed to know exactly when they were expecting it . . . when are women going to learn that they need to be more specific?). My Sister is expecting whatever it is she is expecting sometime around May 12, 2009, which, in turn, resulted in the following conversation with my Brother-in-Law:
Me: So, May 12th, eh? [Every now and then I reach out to my non-existent Canadian roots.]
BIL: Yeah, pretty exciting.
Me: Well, what are you going to do when the Sharks are playing in the Stanley Cup finals?
BIL: I figure I really only have to be there for the actual delivery, so I'm not too concerned about it.
Me: Good point.
BIL: Plus, unless the NHL decides to give the Sharks a bye all the way to the Western Conference finals, I won't have to worry about them playing past the 2nd round.
Me: At least your team gets to play in the 2nd round.
Obviously, my Sister was not very pleased with this conversation, even if we were joking. But that is just how our minds work. You give us a date and we can come up with a reason why some sports-related event might get in the way; I am not proud of this, it is just how our minds work. It is a curse.
I am also thankful for all the support all of you, my avid readers, continue to give. Since we only have a three-day work week, there will not be a Link Dump this week. But that does not mean that those of you who are not traveling today do not need a little entertainment to help get you through your (un)productive Wednesday (that's a whole lot of negatives . . . I'm not sure I even understand what I just said). And believe-you-me, entertainment is what I have for you. It may only be one video, but I believe I may have stumbled upon something that is the video equivalent to pure gold. My Better Half was having a rough day yesterday, so I showed her a sneak preview. After watching, she asked me two questions: (1) were all athletes of the 1980s homosexuals? and (b) how did I become such a die-hard sports fan if I had to deal with things like this? I, naturally, responded: (1) Dude, it was THE 80s! (speaking of the 80s, haven't you always wondered what the end of The Shawshank Redemption would be like set to an 80s-style montage?) and (b) we did not have YouTube back then.
So, without further adieu, I present to you five minutes and fifty-seven seconds of uninterrupted sexual innuendo brought you by the artist-formerly-known-as the Los Angeles Rams.
Good luck getting this one out of your head for the rest of the day!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Talk to you next week.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Ah, Memories . . .
Most people out there think that the day law students dread most is the start of their state's Bar Exam; but they would be wrong. The day law students dread most is, at least in California, today: Bar Exam results day. In just a mere six hours, California Bar Exam takers will overflow the state bar's website with traffic as they anxiously type in their name and exam code. What awaits them is one of two screens: (1) This name does appear on the July 2008 pass list; or (b) This name does not appear on the July 2008 pass list. Bad grammar aside, one word is all you need to look for. Considering the fact that most people are three . . . neh, seven . . . sheets to the wind by the time they are check their score, that one word is hard to spot. Throw in the fact that at least one person you know is going to think they failed because they mistyped their number, and you have the makings for one crazy 30-minute period.
I enjoy days like today. Not because I am a sick and sadistic person who likes to watch his friends suffer through the last hours of waiting (you can't imagine how it feels counting down to results first in months, then weeks, then days, and, finally, hours . . . I know more than a few people who teetered on the brink of insanity). Rather, I enjoy it because it allows me to think back to the day I got my results. A good friend, and law school classmate, was getting married in New Jersey the weekend bar results came out for me. My Better Half (who had a harder time dealing with the wait than I did) and I flew out to visit some other friends on Thursday, and spent all of Friday wandering the streets of New York City while my friends were at work. Since I was back east, results would not be posted until 9:00 pm, which means I had plenty of time to jump right past seven sheets, ultimately hitting about twenty-two sheets by the time 9:00 pm rolled around.
So there I was, at an Italian restaurant waiting for a mafia don to get knocked off, having drinks (oh, and some dinner) with my Better Half and friends when the clock struck nine. I calmly explained to my friends that there was no rush, I would check when we got back to their place, we should all just enjoy dinner (which, I should mention, my Better Half was not doing). One of my friends offered up their Treo as a way for me to check and, while I first declined, the twenty-seventh adult beverage I had consumed (it's always the 27th that jumps up and bites you) seized control of my brain and I agreed to check right there, in the restaurant, in front of my four friends, my Better Half, and approximately seventy-five strangers. Needless to say, I passed. It took me a while to realize the screen had switched to the results, I my ability to read was at about a sophomore level, but with the help of my Better Half I was able to confirm that my name did, in fact, appear on the July 2006 pass list.
So, while my friends are anxiously watching the clock tick closer to 6:00 pm, and while you all are anxiously watching the clock tick closer to Happy Hour, here are some things you might have missed:
I enjoy days like today. Not because I am a sick and sadistic person who likes to watch his friends suffer through the last hours of waiting (you can't imagine how it feels counting down to results first in months, then weeks, then days, and, finally, hours . . . I know more than a few people who teetered on the brink of insanity). Rather, I enjoy it because it allows me to think back to the day I got my results. A good friend, and law school classmate, was getting married in New Jersey the weekend bar results came out for me. My Better Half (who had a harder time dealing with the wait than I did) and I flew out to visit some other friends on Thursday, and spent all of Friday wandering the streets of New York City while my friends were at work. Since I was back east, results would not be posted until 9:00 pm, which means I had plenty of time to jump right past seven sheets, ultimately hitting about twenty-two sheets by the time 9:00 pm rolled around.
So there I was, at an Italian restaurant waiting for a mafia don to get knocked off, having drinks (oh, and some dinner) with my Better Half and friends when the clock struck nine. I calmly explained to my friends that there was no rush, I would check when we got back to their place, we should all just enjoy dinner (which, I should mention, my Better Half was not doing). One of my friends offered up their Treo as a way for me to check and, while I first declined, the twenty-seventh adult beverage I had consumed (it's always the 27th that jumps up and bites you) seized control of my brain and I agreed to check right there, in the restaurant, in front of my four friends, my Better Half, and approximately seventy-five strangers. Needless to say, I passed. It took me a while to realize the screen had switched to the results, I my ability to read was at about a sophomore level, but with the help of my Better Half I was able to confirm that my name did, in fact, appear on the July 2006 pass list.
So, while my friends are anxiously watching the clock tick closer to 6:00 pm, and while you all are anxiously watching the clock tick closer to Happy Hour, here are some things you might have missed:
- It is always nice to know that integrity is alive and well in at least one professional sport.
- Pete Carroll? A whiner? Get right out of town.
- Former Bucs cheerleader arrested for what we here at GameTime, TBD© like to call a normal Saturday night (with bonus glamorific mug shot).
- It was only a matter of time before people started comparing the the 2008 Lions to the the 1976 Buccaneers.
- Come for the headline, stay for the article (or don't, your choice).
- I can not decided what is worse, the fact that there is a Paternoville Coordination Committee or that said Committee thinks (drunk) college kids are going to be affected by sub-freezing temperatures.
- At some point you have got to ask yourself, exactly how badly do I need this thirty dollars?
- The Fresh Prince used to live right down the street from my high school but he never showed up for a pep rally. Hmm, must be the magical power of Tony Romo.
- Speaking of Romo, I think Cowboys fans are going to start questioning his decision making capabilities after he chose to spend two hours in a dark room with a homeless guy instead of Jessica Simpson.
- You stay classy New York Yankees.
- Eri Yoshida wants to follow in the footsteps of the "great" knuckleballer Tim Wakefield . . . with only a few minor differences (ironically enough, winning not one of them).
- Here is a tip, maybe you should not stand so close to the sideline on a throw in.
- Working out the BCS rankings for Week 3 and Week 4.
- For my male readers (and female readers who might swing that way), a look at why the Denver Nuggets' off-the-court entertainment is more enjoyable than the entertainment on the court.
- Oh, the joys of a father who desperately wanted a son, but got a daughter.
- Twenty reasons gymnastics is fantastically-awesome.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The Joys of Jackson
Friends . . . Avid Readers . . . Country folk, lend me your eyes (or money, your choice).
It is with great pride and appreciation that I announce the arrival of GameTime, TBD©'s 100th post (applause, applause, applause . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare . . . fireworks). Thank you, you are all too kind. I truly appreciate all of you, my avid readers, who have stuck it out for the past two-plus years, allowing me and my "team" to espouse words of wisdom that have and continue to shape the landscape of the world. Contrary to popular belief, you (and not my crappy job that provides me no mental stimulation whatsoever) are the reason I have stuck it for 100 posts and you (and not the fact that this economic slowdown is likely to prevent me from finding a more challenging position) are the reason I plan on sticking it out for at least 100 more.
I am sorry there was no Link Dump last week. As you may recall, I was shipped off to Jackson, Mississippi for a week of trial monitoring. I thought I was going to have the opportunity to still get around to it on Thursday night for an early Friday posting. Unfortunately, the trial took up more hours of the day than I anticipated and, as a result, the reports I had to write every night took much longer than normal. Word on the street is that the judge has tickets to Monday night's Saints/Packers game in New Orleans and wants to have the trial done by this Friday so he can just blow off all of next week in New Orleans [I hope he realizes that Mardi Gras isn't until February and that most of the Tulane college girls will be headed home for Thanksgiving. I mean, I've been to New Orleans, at it wasn't during Mardi Gras. If you're familiar with the Toy/Summers Scale of Doability (a scientifically-verified ratings system that cuts to the heart of it: the girl is doable, a 1, or not, a 0), you might be surprised to learn that New Orleans has one of the highest densities of 0's I have ever seen, and I had one of the creators of this innovative system with me to verify the results . . . but I digress].
With the guilt of not being able to provide y'all (see what I did there?) with a Link Dump hanging over my head, I spent the better part of the eight hours it took for me to get back to Los Angeles trying to figure out how I was going to make it up to you. And with this being the 100th post, I knew it had to be something special, something that would make you recall all the past glories of GameTime, TBD©. The idea hit me like a ton of bricks . . . a ton of bricks of cool, that is. So, it is with great pleasure that I present to you the "Top 5 Things I Discovered in the (Greater) Jackson, Mississippi Area":
5. The KKK? Really? - Nothing says welcome to Jackson like a news report that the police are investigating a murder that they believe to be a Klan initiation gone wrong. I guess I must be naive because I had no clue the Klan was still in existence. Nor did I realize that they were in the business of killing people that thought they wanted to join but then changed their mind and tried to back out at the last minute. I really thought that whole white supremacist thing was about dealing with a different "problem". And I will spare you the details of how the murder went down because, based on the radio report, it was not pretty. And the police had a list of known Klan members that they believed to be the culprits. It is weird to think that, just two weeks ago, people were celebrating the election of a half-black man as our 44th President. Apparently we still have a long way to go.
4. Z106.7 FM - In the Los Angeles area, 106.7 on your FM dial is the World Famous KROQ, a station that plays a combination of rock and alt. rock music (or at least that's what I remember, I haven't listened to FM radio in about 3 years; I'm all sports talk all the time). In Jackson, 106.7 on the FM dial is Z106.7 - Jackson's Classic Rock, which, as it turns out, is the greatest classic rock station in the history of classic rock stations. Had I been able to find Dan Patrick on the AM dial, or any sports station that got reception 10 miles outside of Jackson for that matter, I probably never would have discovered the "greatness" of this station. First, I have to admit they played the greatest mix of classic rock songs all day, every day. The "greatest", however, comes from their on-air personalities. The morning show, "John Boy & Billy" (or, as I liked to say to myself, "John Boy, Really?"), is pretty much two stereotypical southerners doing things southerns do (I guess): playing the "$100,000 Pyramid" with words and phrases relating to hunting, getting excited about a new camouflage hat (like "I want to know this hat in the biblical sense" excited), and talking about their own personal brand of BBQ sauce. More importantly, their afternoon DJ openly discussed the fact that he was drunk and he had "Free Beer Friday", which was answer a trivia question related to music and win yourself a free case of Budweiser (naturally). I strongly recommend you check out their website and have yourself a listen. You will thank me later.
3. Blues 930 - I had barely settled into my hotel room, and barely paid my $9.95 for Internet service, when Agman dropped me a line inquiring: "Are you really in Jackson, MS?" My natural response was, of course, why would I lie about being in Jackson, Mississippi and he agreed that that was a fair point. Well, after spending a few minutes discussing the merits of an honor bar system in my hotel's concierge lounge (honor, of course, being inversely proportional to the quantity of bar one has enjoyed), he proceeded to inform me about a little place called Blues 930. What was described by Agman as "a shady place" was everything you could possibly expect, and more, because I had failed to read the rest of Agman's description: "in a house". There is nothing like telling your cabbie where you want to go, only to be left at a house, in a neighborhood, in a city that you have never been to before. This is one of those places where people know you are not from around town the moment your foot first squeaks the floor boards. I felt like an unwanted cowboy entering a saloon and waited for the music to abruptly cut off; thankfully it did not. Since I have full faith in Agman I figured I was in for a good time and, once again, he did not disappoint. There is no denying this place is shady (you are, after all, in someones house), and it was quite clear that they do not get a lot of visitors from Los Angeles, but it was bumping with quite a crowd and great blues music . . . on a Tuesday night. Go figure.
2. Vicksburg National Military Park - With court being dark on Tuesday because of Veteran's Day, I decide to take my trusty Ford Focus rental car (with dead turn signal, low tire pressure, and all) and make the 35-minute drive to the Mississippi/Louisiana border and the site of one of the two most important campaigns of the American Civil War. By now, you all know what a history freak I am, so you can probably only imagine how great this was for me. Your tour begins with a short video in the Visitors' Center and then you are off on a 16-mile drive through the battlefields of Vicksburg. I chose to do the tour on my own, with nothing but a park map, my camera, and an umbrella (it was, after all, pouring rain . . . like I said, history FREAK). Throughout the park there artillery and battery placements set up as where they were during Grant's 6-week siege of this Confederate stronghold (which Lincoln called the key to the war) with placards to give you an overview of the action. There are also beautiful monuments dedicated to each state, Union and Confederate, that participated in the campaign, as well as hundreds of statues and busts of the various military leaders (including Lincoln and Davis). It really is a site to be seen. I feel truly privileged to be able to say that I have now visited both of the sites of the two most important military campaigns of the Civil War, the two campaigns that ended up holding this great nation together.
1. Country Catfish and Steakhouse - The great thing about traveling for work is that your food budget is greater than what you might normally pay for food, so you can take some liberties with where you eat. So when I was looking for someplace to eat during the court's lunch break that did not have a drive-through window, my attention was drawn to the large sign and crowded parking lot of the Country Catfish and Steakhouse. Well, as it turns out, this is not really like other steakhouses that we Californians might be used. In fact, I am like 94.736% positive that they do not even serve steak at this here "steakhouse". Oh no, my dear readers, it is much better than that. We are talking buffet, and not just any buffet, but a buffet that serves food that can only be prepared in (1) a casserole dish or (b) a deep fryer. Translation: Heaven. On. Earth. Now, my Sister and my Better Half probably would not be caught dead in a place like the Country Catfish and Steakhouse, but I sure wish my Brother-in-Law had been there to share in the joy with me. For $9.62 (tax included) I had unlimited Diet Coke (a must when monitoring a trial) and an endless supply of macaroni and cheese, peas, corn, gravy, stuffing, fried chicken, fried catfish, and the ever popular fried I-don't-know-what-this-is-but-it-is-fried-so-I'll-try-it-anyway. Nothing says goodnight like a lunch at "The Catfish" and then an afternoon of listening to expert testimony about manganese exposure and the affect it has on the human brain. Ah, Country Catfish and Steakhouse, now that I have met you my life will never be the same (mostly because my stomach has lost the ability to properly digest food and I probably took about 5 years off my life expectancy).
So, as you can see, it turns out that Jackson is not as bad as one might have expected. In fact, I bet you are looking at your calendar right now trying to figure out when you have some time to schedule your vacation to Jackson. Of course, you are probably thinking about Jackson Hole, Wyoming and, well, I do not blame you.
It is with great pride and appreciation that I announce the arrival of GameTime, TBD©'s 100th post (applause, applause, applause . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare . . . fireworks). Thank you, you are all too kind. I truly appreciate all of you, my avid readers, who have stuck it out for the past two-plus years, allowing me and my "team" to espouse words of wisdom that have and continue to shape the landscape of the world. Contrary to popular belief, you (and not my crappy job that provides me no mental stimulation whatsoever) are the reason I have stuck it for 100 posts and you (and not the fact that this economic slowdown is likely to prevent me from finding a more challenging position) are the reason I plan on sticking it out for at least 100 more.
I am sorry there was no Link Dump last week. As you may recall, I was shipped off to Jackson, Mississippi for a week of trial monitoring. I thought I was going to have the opportunity to still get around to it on Thursday night for an early Friday posting. Unfortunately, the trial took up more hours of the day than I anticipated and, as a result, the reports I had to write every night took much longer than normal. Word on the street is that the judge has tickets to Monday night's Saints/Packers game in New Orleans and wants to have the trial done by this Friday so he can just blow off all of next week in New Orleans [I hope he realizes that Mardi Gras isn't until February and that most of the Tulane college girls will be headed home for Thanksgiving. I mean, I've been to New Orleans, at it wasn't during Mardi Gras. If you're familiar with the Toy/Summers Scale of Doability (a scientifically-verified ratings system that cuts to the heart of it: the girl is doable, a 1, or not, a 0), you might be surprised to learn that New Orleans has one of the highest densities of 0's I have ever seen, and I had one of the creators of this innovative system with me to verify the results . . . but I digress].
With the guilt of not being able to provide y'all (see what I did there?) with a Link Dump hanging over my head, I spent the better part of the eight hours it took for me to get back to Los Angeles trying to figure out how I was going to make it up to you. And with this being the 100th post, I knew it had to be something special, something that would make you recall all the past glories of GameTime, TBD©. The idea hit me like a ton of bricks . . . a ton of bricks of cool, that is. So, it is with great pleasure that I present to you the "Top 5 Things I Discovered in the (Greater) Jackson, Mississippi Area":
5. The KKK? Really? - Nothing says welcome to Jackson like a news report that the police are investigating a murder that they believe to be a Klan initiation gone wrong. I guess I must be naive because I had no clue the Klan was still in existence. Nor did I realize that they were in the business of killing people that thought they wanted to join but then changed their mind and tried to back out at the last minute. I really thought that whole white supremacist thing was about dealing with a different "problem". And I will spare you the details of how the murder went down because, based on the radio report, it was not pretty. And the police had a list of known Klan members that they believed to be the culprits. It is weird to think that, just two weeks ago, people were celebrating the election of a half-black man as our 44th President. Apparently we still have a long way to go.
4. Z106.7 FM - In the Los Angeles area, 106.7 on your FM dial is the World Famous KROQ, a station that plays a combination of rock and alt. rock music (or at least that's what I remember, I haven't listened to FM radio in about 3 years; I'm all sports talk all the time). In Jackson, 106.7 on the FM dial is Z106.7 - Jackson's Classic Rock, which, as it turns out, is the greatest classic rock station in the history of classic rock stations. Had I been able to find Dan Patrick on the AM dial, or any sports station that got reception 10 miles outside of Jackson for that matter, I probably never would have discovered the "greatness" of this station. First, I have to admit they played the greatest mix of classic rock songs all day, every day. The "greatest", however, comes from their on-air personalities. The morning show, "John Boy & Billy" (or, as I liked to say to myself, "John Boy, Really?"), is pretty much two stereotypical southerners doing things southerns do (I guess): playing the "$100,000 Pyramid" with words and phrases relating to hunting, getting excited about a new camouflage hat (like "I want to know this hat in the biblical sense" excited), and talking about their own personal brand of BBQ sauce. More importantly, their afternoon DJ openly discussed the fact that he was drunk and he had "Free Beer Friday", which was answer a trivia question related to music and win yourself a free case of Budweiser (naturally). I strongly recommend you check out their website and have yourself a listen. You will thank me later.
3. Blues 930 - I had barely settled into my hotel room, and barely paid my $9.95 for Internet service, when Agman dropped me a line inquiring: "Are you really in Jackson, MS?" My natural response was, of course, why would I lie about being in Jackson, Mississippi and he agreed that that was a fair point. Well, after spending a few minutes discussing the merits of an honor bar system in my hotel's concierge lounge (honor, of course, being inversely proportional to the quantity of bar one has enjoyed), he proceeded to inform me about a little place called Blues 930. What was described by Agman as "a shady place" was everything you could possibly expect, and more, because I had failed to read the rest of Agman's description: "in a house". There is nothing like telling your cabbie where you want to go, only to be left at a house, in a neighborhood, in a city that you have never been to before. This is one of those places where people know you are not from around town the moment your foot first squeaks the floor boards. I felt like an unwanted cowboy entering a saloon and waited for the music to abruptly cut off; thankfully it did not. Since I have full faith in Agman I figured I was in for a good time and, once again, he did not disappoint. There is no denying this place is shady (you are, after all, in someones house), and it was quite clear that they do not get a lot of visitors from Los Angeles, but it was bumping with quite a crowd and great blues music . . . on a Tuesday night. Go figure.
2. Vicksburg National Military Park - With court being dark on Tuesday because of Veteran's Day, I decide to take my trusty Ford Focus rental car (with dead turn signal, low tire pressure, and all) and make the 35-minute drive to the Mississippi/Louisiana border and the site of one of the two most important campaigns of the American Civil War. By now, you all know what a history freak I am, so you can probably only imagine how great this was for me. Your tour begins with a short video in the Visitors' Center and then you are off on a 16-mile drive through the battlefields of Vicksburg. I chose to do the tour on my own, with nothing but a park map, my camera, and an umbrella (it was, after all, pouring rain . . . like I said, history FREAK). Throughout the park there artillery and battery placements set up as where they were during Grant's 6-week siege of this Confederate stronghold (which Lincoln called the key to the war) with placards to give you an overview of the action. There are also beautiful monuments dedicated to each state, Union and Confederate, that participated in the campaign, as well as hundreds of statues and busts of the various military leaders (including Lincoln and Davis). It really is a site to be seen. I feel truly privileged to be able to say that I have now visited both of the sites of the two most important military campaigns of the Civil War, the two campaigns that ended up holding this great nation together.
1. Country Catfish and Steakhouse - The great thing about traveling for work is that your food budget is greater than what you might normally pay for food, so you can take some liberties with where you eat. So when I was looking for someplace to eat during the court's lunch break that did not have a drive-through window, my attention was drawn to the large sign and crowded parking lot of the Country Catfish and Steakhouse. Well, as it turns out, this is not really like other steakhouses that we Californians might be used. In fact, I am like 94.736% positive that they do not even serve steak at this here "steakhouse". Oh no, my dear readers, it is much better than that. We are talking buffet, and not just any buffet, but a buffet that serves food that can only be prepared in (1) a casserole dish or (b) a deep fryer. Translation: Heaven. On. Earth. Now, my Sister and my Better Half probably would not be caught dead in a place like the Country Catfish and Steakhouse, but I sure wish my Brother-in-Law had been there to share in the joy with me. For $9.62 (tax included) I had unlimited Diet Coke (a must when monitoring a trial) and an endless supply of macaroni and cheese, peas, corn, gravy, stuffing, fried chicken, fried catfish, and the ever popular fried I-don't-know-what-this-is-but-it-is-fried-so-I'll-try-it-anyway. Nothing says goodnight like a lunch at "The Catfish" and then an afternoon of listening to expert testimony about manganese exposure and the affect it has on the human brain. Ah, Country Catfish and Steakhouse, now that I have met you my life will never be the same (mostly because my stomach has lost the ability to properly digest food and I probably took about 5 years off my life expectancy).
So, as you can see, it turns out that Jackson is not as bad as one might have expected. In fact, I bet you are looking at your calendar right now trying to figure out when you have some time to schedule your vacation to Jackson. Of course, you are probably thinking about Jackson Hole, Wyoming and, well, I do not blame you.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Anything Exciting Going on This Weekend?
"Sanjay Collins."
"Chuck Vindaloo. Excited to be here!"
As I am sure you dedicated GameTime, TBD© readers are well aware, the "staff" that runs this here gift to mankind has quite the affinity for Wedding Crashers. And starting this weekend, and lasting all through next week, we will be relying on that piece of cinematic genius to get us by. Unfortunately it is not because we will be crashing weddings at alarming rates in an effort to constantly hook up with ridonkulously attractive women (two reasons: (1) I don't have any friends that are slick enough to pull this off, and (b) my Better Half probably wouldn't appreciate it . . . wait, I probably should reverse those . . . if only there was a way to delete that like a "delete" button, or maybe "backspace", so my Better Half would think that she's the #1 reason . . . anyone?). No, that is not the case. It is because I will be drawing on rule number seventy-six, as first laid down by the great Chazz Reinhold, "No excuses. Play like a champion!"
That is right my friends, this weekend the good folks at GameTime, TBD© are packing their bags and heading to Jackson, Mississippi . . . well, Copiah County, Mississippi to be exact, but I think Jackson just sounds sexier. Turning to my trusty sidekick, Wikipedia, I see that Copiah County's population is estimated to be at 29,317. The county encompasses 779 square miles of prime real estate, of which 777 square miles are land and 3 square miles are water (just let that sink in . . . I think they call that Mississippi math). Wikipedia was nice enough to point out that for every 100 females over the age of eighteen in Copiah County, there are 89.10 males. That means the odds are in my favor (kidding) and that I really need to find out where they keep that .10 of a man. Wikipedia did fail, however, to tell me the percentage of the population that wears overalls, the average number of teeth per individual, or why it is no longer considered the "Tomato Capital of the World". To top it all off, I am going for work, which means I can not go around making fun of people. I mean, seriously, what is the point? And that is why I will have to take my "A" game with me and play like a champion, because I do not want to throw down with any of those farmers (unless it is because of something that may or may not have happened with one of their daughters . . . baZING!).
I know, I know, I have totally bummed you out and made you crazy jealous of the amazing week I have ahead of me. But I am sure that you all have some pretty exciting things lined up. So here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time until your rockin' weekend begins:
"Chuck Vindaloo. Excited to be here!"
As I am sure you dedicated GameTime, TBD© readers are well aware, the "staff" that runs this here gift to mankind has quite the affinity for Wedding Crashers. And starting this weekend, and lasting all through next week, we will be relying on that piece of cinematic genius to get us by. Unfortunately it is not because we will be crashing weddings at alarming rates in an effort to constantly hook up with ridonkulously attractive women (two reasons: (1) I don't have any friends that are slick enough to pull this off, and (b) my Better Half probably wouldn't appreciate it . . . wait, I probably should reverse those . . . if only there was a way to delete that like a "delete" button, or maybe "backspace", so my Better Half would think that she's the #1 reason . . . anyone?). No, that is not the case. It is because I will be drawing on rule number seventy-six, as first laid down by the great Chazz Reinhold, "No excuses. Play like a champion!"
That is right my friends, this weekend the good folks at GameTime, TBD© are packing their bags and heading to Jackson, Mississippi . . . well, Copiah County, Mississippi to be exact, but I think Jackson just sounds sexier. Turning to my trusty sidekick, Wikipedia, I see that Copiah County's population is estimated to be at 29,317. The county encompasses 779 square miles of prime real estate, of which 777 square miles are land and 3 square miles are water (just let that sink in . . . I think they call that Mississippi math). Wikipedia was nice enough to point out that for every 100 females over the age of eighteen in Copiah County, there are 89.10 males. That means the odds are in my favor (kidding) and that I really need to find out where they keep that .10 of a man. Wikipedia did fail, however, to tell me the percentage of the population that wears overalls, the average number of teeth per individual, or why it is no longer considered the "Tomato Capital of the World". To top it all off, I am going for work, which means I can not go around making fun of people. I mean, seriously, what is the point? And that is why I will have to take my "A" game with me and play like a champion, because I do not want to throw down with any of those farmers (unless it is because of something that may or may not have happened with one of their daughters . . . baZING!).
I know, I know, I have totally bummed you out and made you crazy jealous of the amazing week I have ahead of me. But I am sure that you all have some pretty exciting things lined up. So here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time until your rockin' weekend begins:
- Heidi versus Marisa: gentlemen, you. are. welcome.
- We here at GameTime, TBD© love a good scandal that includes the phrases "cheerleader" (I'm listening), "18-year-old" (legal, nice!), and "penises" (wait, what? Damn it!). TMZ would like us to know, however, that there are two sides to every story.
- How come "streaking" was not a tradition at my high school? I am moving to Canada.
- 52-year-old custodian really loves his moped, redefines the word "awesome".
- Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm (you read that right) and is brave enough to go on camera to discuss her harrowing tale.
- John Daly would like to set the record straight.
- Apparently Lute Olson's ex-wife is a little bit crazy.
- I will give you 100 guesses as to why Florida State safety Myron Rolle is going to miss the Seminoles' November 22nd game at Maryland, and then 100 more.
- Oregon baseball jerseys now as ugly as football jerseys (but at least their cheerleaders are still hot).
- The crappy play of the Chicago Blackhawks is systematically eliminating an entire family.
- Ryan Leaf back in the news for being . . . well . . . Ryan Leaf.
- Florida alum goes gator on her husband . . . shockingly, alcohol may have been involved.
- Heidi Klum (twice in one post, nice) gives Guitar Hero: World Tour the Risky Business treatment; and here is the Director's Cut (when did commercials start needing Director's . . . oh, I see . . . carry on).
- It was only a matter of time before cheerleading and the Nintendo Wii joined forces. And may I add that Natalie is quite . . . um . . . insightful with her review.
- While this is an amazing catch, the real question is: why does this high school have three different camera angles?
- The secrets of the BCS have finally been revealed. Let us see how they worked out Week 1 and Week 2.
- In honor of Californians deciding to give more rights to animals than gay couples, we bring back the most popular GameTime, TBD© Link Dump video of all time. If you are a GameTime, TBD© reader and voted yes on Prop 8, there is the door; don't let it hit you on the way out.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
A Profound Statement of Democracy?
I tried, I promise I did. I even went through the trouble of preparing a post about what it is like to watch the Detroit Lions on a Sunday that I was going to post today to distract me. But I could not bring myself to do it. With Election Day finally here, there are some things I have got to get off my chest. So, against my better judgment, and for ONE day only, GameTime, TBD© goes 100% political (hey, if Curt Schilling can do it, why can't I?).
Now, I am not about to try to convince you to vote for one candidate over the other; it is not my place to do so. Rather, this is just a general discussion about some frustrations I have with the current state of our political system. If you want to have a discussion about who I voted for (in keeping with my tradition of full faith and disclosure, it was McCain), feel free to drop me a line or give me a call and we will do lunch. I am more than willing to discuss my reasoning with you. I am not, however, about to use this site as a soapbox for views about the candidates. I am already risking enough negative comments just by stating who I voted for. If I were to go into a full-fledged point/counter-point, who knows what names I would be called. But if you do want to discuss things with me, make sure you are a prepared, after all I have spent the better part of the past six months having nightly debates with my Better Half, which segues nicely to my first point (isn't nice how it worked out like that?).
I have no problem with people who agree or disagree with me on voting for one candidate over the other. We are all entitled to our own opinions and I will never fault you or think less of you as a person simply because we do not agree. Your right to your own opinion goes beyond our Constitution. Is our right to our own opinion not one of the very foundations by which we asserted our independence from Britain? "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." As my buddy Barnes put it yesterday, "ain't no thang" if you agree or disagree with me over the issues. So if you want to talk about the election, let us talk about the issues, and not the other things. I feel bad for people who are not voting for Obama simply because he is black and/or think he is a Muslim, or the people who do not think a woman is cut out to be Vice President. Even the discussion of "The Bradley Effect" playing a role in today's election makes me sick. How have we, as a nation, not moved past these things already? How is it that we still judge people by their race, gender, or religious beliefs (and when did I become such an idealist? Man, the Republican party is going to revoke my privileges)? So I will talk to you about the issues, and only the issues. But like I said, I have gone twelve rounds with my Better Half, multiple times, and I am still standing (and, amazingly enough, still married to her . . . it's magic). So make sure you bring your "A" game. There is also one other requirement for me to talk with you . . .
You also must have, or be planning to, vote. If you are eligible to vote, and do not, I do not care what you have to say. You blew your chance. How many articles have you read were someone says something like "I am voting because this election will mark a significant change in the lives of all Americans"? We interrupt this rant for some late breaking news: EVERY ELECTION MARKS A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN THE LIVES OF ALL AMERICANS. Here in California, they are worried that they might not have enough printed ballots because voter turnout is expected to reach 80%. I can not decide what is worse, the fact that we are unprepared for such a high voter turnout, or the fact that we are excited that voter turnout is going to reach only 80%. Why is it that the 2008 Presidential Election is any different from the mid-term elections we will have in two years? Yet I can guarantee you that voter turnout in two years will be significantly lower than this election. As an avid GameTime, TBD© reader, I know you have read the United State Constitution. So you know that the Framers of this great nation made the Executive Branch of the government the weakest of the three branches, because we were trying to move away from the royalist model that put absolute power in just one place, and they made the Legislative Branch, or the "People's Branch", the most powerful. Since we live in a Republic (wait, you didn't think we lived in a Democracy did you?), the representatives we elect carry most of the power. So why then are mid-term elections treated like the ugly step-son? Since I turned 18, I have not missed a single opportunity to vote, not one. I have voted in three different presidential elections, three gubernatorial elections, including a recall, five school board elections, five congressional elections, and I have voted on a countless number of (stupid) propositions (usually "no" . . . but this is not the time for me to get into California's problems). I vote . . . even when my vote does not count.
Confused about that last statement? I cast my one vote for McCain, yet it will not impact this election. I cast my vote for McCain, yet everyone knows California's fifty-four electoral votes are going to Obama, just as they went to Kerry, Gore, and Clinton in years past. Somewhere in Indiana, Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio, and Virginia, however, people are celebrating the value of their vote. That is the "beauty" of the Electoral College; first to 270 wins. This, I believe, is why voter turnout remains much lower in the United States than it is in other countries. This, in turn, creates a perpetual cycle of discontent with our government while making no effort to change things, until things get so bad we blame everything on one person (even things that aren't his fault), all-the-while ignoring the failures of the people whose job it actually is to take care of us, which results in a knee-jerk reaction against anyone and everyone even remotely associated with the national "villain", and gives nearly absolute authority to one party. Sure they might reduce the national debt, even while increasing government spending to never-before-seen levels, but that is only because they are going to tax us like we have never been taxed before (oops . . . started to get a little soapboxy there . . . my bad).
By now you are probably wondering why I am wasting your time. While, for starters, I hope you do not actually feel like I have wasted your time. More importantly, though, I am frustrated with everything that has gone on with this election. This campaign has gone on longer than any previous campaigns, and it has gotten more coverage than any previous campaigns. But are we really going to be better off because of it? Both candidates are promising you that if they are elected they will bring change to Washington because they know that is what you want to hear. And I am tired of it because, here is the thing: this one, single election is not going to change a thing. Our nation is facing serious issues, but these are not new issue. We face these issues year-in and year-out. This is not the first economic recession our nation has dealt with; this is not the first time a person's civil liberties have been attacked; this is not the first time we have been in an unpopular conflict. So why can all of our candidates get away with making it seem like it is? Only when we begin to demand more from all of our elected officials, not just the President, will things start to change. Only when every election, for every elected office, is as hotly contested as this year's Presidential election, will things start to change. It is time we demand that our public officials do there job or get of the way of those people who will. Do that, my dear readers, and I promise things will actually change.
Thus endth the rant.
Now, I am not about to try to convince you to vote for one candidate over the other; it is not my place to do so. Rather, this is just a general discussion about some frustrations I have with the current state of our political system. If you want to have a discussion about who I voted for (in keeping with my tradition of full faith and disclosure, it was McCain), feel free to drop me a line or give me a call and we will do lunch. I am more than willing to discuss my reasoning with you. I am not, however, about to use this site as a soapbox for views about the candidates. I am already risking enough negative comments just by stating who I voted for. If I were to go into a full-fledged point/counter-point, who knows what names I would be called. But if you do want to discuss things with me, make sure you are a prepared, after all I have spent the better part of the past six months having nightly debates with my Better Half, which segues nicely to my first point (isn't nice how it worked out like that?).
I have no problem with people who agree or disagree with me on voting for one candidate over the other. We are all entitled to our own opinions and I will never fault you or think less of you as a person simply because we do not agree. Your right to your own opinion goes beyond our Constitution. Is our right to our own opinion not one of the very foundations by which we asserted our independence from Britain? "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." As my buddy Barnes put it yesterday, "ain't no thang" if you agree or disagree with me over the issues. So if you want to talk about the election, let us talk about the issues, and not the other things. I feel bad for people who are not voting for Obama simply because he is black and/or think he is a Muslim, or the people who do not think a woman is cut out to be Vice President. Even the discussion of "The Bradley Effect" playing a role in today's election makes me sick. How have we, as a nation, not moved past these things already? How is it that we still judge people by their race, gender, or religious beliefs (and when did I become such an idealist? Man, the Republican party is going to revoke my privileges)? So I will talk to you about the issues, and only the issues. But like I said, I have gone twelve rounds with my Better Half, multiple times, and I am still standing (and, amazingly enough, still married to her . . . it's magic). So make sure you bring your "A" game. There is also one other requirement for me to talk with you . . .
You also must have, or be planning to, vote. If you are eligible to vote, and do not, I do not care what you have to say. You blew your chance. How many articles have you read were someone says something like "I am voting because this election will mark a significant change in the lives of all Americans"? We interrupt this rant for some late breaking news: EVERY ELECTION MARKS A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN THE LIVES OF ALL AMERICANS. Here in California, they are worried that they might not have enough printed ballots because voter turnout is expected to reach 80%. I can not decide what is worse, the fact that we are unprepared for such a high voter turnout, or the fact that we are excited that voter turnout is going to reach only 80%. Why is it that the 2008 Presidential Election is any different from the mid-term elections we will have in two years? Yet I can guarantee you that voter turnout in two years will be significantly lower than this election. As an avid GameTime, TBD© reader, I know you have read the United State Constitution. So you know that the Framers of this great nation made the Executive Branch of the government the weakest of the three branches, because we were trying to move away from the royalist model that put absolute power in just one place, and they made the Legislative Branch, or the "People's Branch", the most powerful. Since we live in a Republic (wait, you didn't think we lived in a Democracy did you?), the representatives we elect carry most of the power. So why then are mid-term elections treated like the ugly step-son? Since I turned 18, I have not missed a single opportunity to vote, not one. I have voted in three different presidential elections, three gubernatorial elections, including a recall, five school board elections, five congressional elections, and I have voted on a countless number of (stupid) propositions (usually "no" . . . but this is not the time for me to get into California's problems). I vote . . . even when my vote does not count.
Confused about that last statement? I cast my one vote for McCain, yet it will not impact this election. I cast my vote for McCain, yet everyone knows California's fifty-four electoral votes are going to Obama, just as they went to Kerry, Gore, and Clinton in years past. Somewhere in Indiana, Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio, and Virginia, however, people are celebrating the value of their vote. That is the "beauty" of the Electoral College; first to 270 wins. This, I believe, is why voter turnout remains much lower in the United States than it is in other countries. This, in turn, creates a perpetual cycle of discontent with our government while making no effort to change things, until things get so bad we blame everything on one person (even things that aren't his fault), all-the-while ignoring the failures of the people whose job it actually is to take care of us, which results in a knee-jerk reaction against anyone and everyone even remotely associated with the national "villain", and gives nearly absolute authority to one party. Sure they might reduce the national debt, even while increasing government spending to never-before-seen levels, but that is only because they are going to tax us like we have never been taxed before (oops . . . started to get a little soapboxy there . . . my bad).
By now you are probably wondering why I am wasting your time. While, for starters, I hope you do not actually feel like I have wasted your time. More importantly, though, I am frustrated with everything that has gone on with this election. This campaign has gone on longer than any previous campaigns, and it has gotten more coverage than any previous campaigns. But are we really going to be better off because of it? Both candidates are promising you that if they are elected they will bring change to Washington because they know that is what you want to hear. And I am tired of it because, here is the thing: this one, single election is not going to change a thing. Our nation is facing serious issues, but these are not new issue. We face these issues year-in and year-out. This is not the first economic recession our nation has dealt with; this is not the first time a person's civil liberties have been attacked; this is not the first time we have been in an unpopular conflict. So why can all of our candidates get away with making it seem like it is? Only when we begin to demand more from all of our elected officials, not just the President, will things start to change. Only when every election, for every elected office, is as hotly contested as this year's Presidential election, will things start to change. It is time we demand that our public officials do there job or get of the way of those people who will. Do that, my dear readers, and I promise things will actually change.
Thus endth the rant.
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