Anything Exciting Going on This Weekend?

"Sanjay Collins."
"Chuck Vindaloo. Excited to be here!"

As I am sure you dedicated GameTime, TBD© readers are well aware, the "staff" that runs this here gift to mankind has quite the affinity for Wedding Crashers. And starting this weekend, and lasting all through next week, we will be relying on that piece of cinematic genius to get us by. Unfortunately it is not because we will be crashing weddings at alarming rates in an effort to constantly hook up with ridonkulously attractive women (two reasons: (1) I don't have any friends that are slick enough to pull this off, and (b) my Better Half probably wouldn't appreciate it . . . wait, I probably should reverse those . . . if only there was a way to delete that like a "delete" button, or maybe "backspace", so my Better Half would think that she's the #1 reason . . . anyone?). No, that is not the case. It is because I will be drawing on rule number seventy-six, as first laid down by the great Chazz Reinhold, "No excuses. Play like a champion!"

That is right my friends, this weekend the good folks at GameTime, TBD© are packing their bags and heading to Jackson, Mississippi . . . well, Copiah County, Mississippi to be exact, but I think Jackson just sounds sexier. Turning to my trusty sidekick, Wikipedia, I see that Copiah County's population is estimated to be at 29,317. The county encompasses 779 square miles of prime real estate, of which 777 square miles are land and 3 square miles are water (just let that sink in . . . I think they call that Mississippi math). Wikipedia was nice enough to point out that for every 100 females over the age of eighteen in Copiah County, there are 89.10 males. That means the odds are in my favor (kidding) and that I really need to find out where they keep that .10 of a man. Wikipedia did fail, however, to tell me the percentage of the population that wears overalls, the average number of teeth per individual, or why it is no longer considered the "Tomato Capital of the World". To top it all off, I am going for work, which means I can not go around making fun of people. I mean, seriously, what is the point? And that is why I will have to take my "A" game with me and play like a champion, because I do not want to throw down with any of those farmers (unless it is because of something that may or may not have happened with one of their daughters . . . baZING!).

I know, I know, I have totally bummed you out and made you crazy jealous of the amazing week I have ahead of me. But I am sure that you all have some pretty exciting things lined up. So here are some things you might have missed to help you pass the time until your rockin' weekend begins:

• Heidi versus Marisa: gentlemen, you. are. welcome.
• We here at GameTime, TBD© love a good scandal that includes the phrases "cheerleader" (I'm listening), "18-year-old" (legal, nice!), and "penises" (wait, what? Damn it!). TMZ would like us to know, however, that there are two sides to every story.
• How come "streaking" was not a tradition at my high school? I am moving to Canada.
• 52-year-old custodian really loves his moped, redefines the word "awesome".
• Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm (you read that right) and is brave enough to go on camera to discuss her harrowing tale.
• John Daly would like to set the record straight.
• Apparently Lute Olson's ex-wife is a little bit crazy.
• I will give you 100 guesses as to why Florida State safety Myron Rolle is going to miss the Seminoles' November 22nd game at Maryland, and then 100 more.
• Oregon baseball jerseys now as ugly as football jerseys (but at least their cheerleaders are still hot).
• The crappy play of the Chicago Blackhawks is systematically eliminating an entire family.
• Ryan Leaf back in the news for being . . . well . . . Ryan Leaf.
• Florida alum goes gator on her husband . . . shockingly, alcohol may have been involved.

And for your view pleasure, we break the vault wide open; we have got a little something for everyone (if by "a little something" you mean "hot chicks" and "everyone" you mean "the dudes"). But ladies, do not fear, I have got your back as well:

• Heidi Klum (twice in one post, nice) gives Guitar Hero: World Tour the Risky Business treatment; and here is the Director's Cut (when did commercials start needing Director's . . . oh, I see . . . carry on).
• It was only a matter of time before cheerleading and the Nintendo Wii joined forces. And may I add that Natalie is quite . . . um . . . insightful with her review.
• While this is an amazing catch, the real question is: why does this high school have three different camera angles?
  
• The secrets of the BCS have finally been revealed. Let us see how they worked out Week 1 and Week 2.
• In honor of Californians deciding to give more rights to animals than gay couples, we bring back the most popular GameTime, TBD© Link Dump video of all time. If you are a GameTime, TBD© reader and voted yes on Prop 8, there is the door; don't let it hit you on the way out.

Have a great weekend everyone!