The Joys of Jackson

Friends . . . Avid Readers . . . Country folk, lend me your eyes (or money, your choice).

It is with great pride and appreciation that I announce the arrival of GameTime, TBD©'s 100th post (applause, applause, applause . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare . . . fireworks). Thank you, you are all too kind. I truly appreciate all of you, my avid readers, who have stuck it out for the past two-plus years, allowing me and my "team" to espouse words of wisdom that have and continue to shape the landscape of the world. Contrary to popular belief, you (and not my crappy job that provides me no mental stimulation whatsoever) are the reason I have stuck it for 100 posts and you (and not the fact that this economic slowdown is likely to prevent me from finding a more challenging position) are the reason I plan on sticking it out for at least 100 more.

I am sorry there was no Link Dump last week. As you may recall, I was shipped off to Jackson, Mississippi for a week of trial monitoring. I thought I was going to have the opportunity to still get around to it on Thursday night for an early Friday posting. Unfortunately, the trial took up more hours of the day than I anticipated and, as a result, the reports I had to write every night took much longer than normal. Word on the street is that the judge has tickets to Monday night's Saints/Packers game in New Orleans and wants to have the trial done by this Friday so he can just blow off all of next week in New Orleans [I hope he realizes that Mardi Gras isn't until February and that most of the Tulane college girls will be headed home for Thanksgiving. I mean, I've been to New Orleans, at it wasn't during Mardi Gras. If you're familiar with the Toy/Summers Scale of Doability (a scientifically-verified ratings system that cuts to the heart of it: the girl is doable, a 1, or not, a 0), you might be surprised to learn that New Orleans has one of the highest densities of 0's I have ever seen, and I had one of the creators of this innovative system with me to verify the results . . . but I digress].

With the guilt of not being able to provide y'all (see what I did there?) with a Link Dump hanging over my head, I spent the better part of the eight hours it took for me to get back to Los Angeles trying to figure out how I was going to make it up to you. And with this being the 100th post, I knew it had to be something special, something that would make you recall all the past glories of GameTime, TBD©. The idea hit me like a ton of bricks . . . a ton of bricks of cool, that is. So, it is with great pleasure that I present to you the "Top 5 Things I Discovered in the (Greater) Jackson, Mississippi Area":

5. The KKK? Really? - Nothing says welcome to Jackson like a news report that the police are investigating a murder that they believe to be a Klan initiation gone wrong. I guess I must be naive because I had no clue the Klan was still in existence. Nor did I realize that they were in the business of killing people that thought they wanted to join but then changed their mind and tried to back out at the last minute. I really thought that whole white supremacist thing was about dealing with a different "problem". And I will spare you the details of how the murder went down because, based on the radio report, it was not pretty. And the police had a list of known Klan members that they believed to be the culprits. It is weird to think that, just two weeks ago, people were celebrating the election of a half-black man as our 44th President. Apparently we still have a long way to go.

4. Z106.7 FM - In the Los Angeles area, 106.7 on your FM dial is the World Famous KROQ, a station that plays a combination of rock and alt. rock music (or at least that's what I remember, I haven't listened to FM radio in about 3 years; I'm all sports talk all the time). In Jackson, 106.7 on the FM dial is Z106.7 - Jackson's Classic Rock, which, as it turns out, is the greatest classic rock station in the history of classic rock stations. Had I been able to find Dan Patrick on the AM dial, or any sports station that got reception 10 miles outside of Jackson for that matter, I probably never would have discovered the "greatness" of this station. First, I have to admit they played the greatest mix of classic rock songs all day, every day. The "greatest", however, comes from their on-air personalities. The morning show, "John Boy & Billy" (or, as I liked to say to myself, "John Boy, Really?"), is pretty much two stereotypical southerners doing things southerns do (I guess): playing the "$100,000 Pyramid" with words and phrases relating to hunting, getting excited about a new camouflage hat (like "I want to know this hat in the biblical sense" excited), and talking about their own personal brand of BBQ sauce. More importantly, their afternoon DJ openly discussed the fact that he was drunk and he had "Free Beer Friday", which was answer a trivia question related to music and win yourself a free case of Budweiser (naturally). I strongly recommend you check out their website and have yourself a listen. You will thank me later.

3. Blues 930 - I had barely settled into my hotel room, and barely paid my $9.95 for Internet service, when Agman dropped me a line inquiring: "Are you really in Jackson, MS?" My natural response was, of course, why would I lie about being in Jackson, Mississippi and he agreed that that was a fair point. Well, after spending a few minutes discussing the merits of an honor bar system in my hotel's concierge lounge (honor, of course, being inversely proportional to the quantity of bar one has enjoyed), he proceeded to inform me about a little place called Blues 930. What was described by Agman as "a shady place" was everything you could possibly expect, and more, because I had failed to read the rest of Agman's description: "in a house". There is nothing like telling your cabbie where you want to go, only to be left at a house, in a neighborhood, in a city that you have never been to before. This is one of those places where people know you are not from around town the moment your foot first squeaks the floor boards. I felt like an unwanted cowboy entering a saloon and waited for the music to abruptly cut off; thankfully it did not. Since I have full faith in Agman I figured I was in for a good time and, once again, he did not disappoint. There is no denying this place is shady (you are, after all, in someones house), and it was quite clear that they do not get a lot of visitors from Los Angeles, but it was bumping with quite a crowd and great blues music . . . on a Tuesday night. Go figure.

2. Vicksburg National Military Park - With court being dark on Tuesday because of Veteran's Day, I decide to take my trusty Ford Focus rental car (with dead turn signal, low tire pressure, and all) and make the 35-minute drive to the Mississippi/Louisiana border and the site of one of the two most important campaigns of the American Civil War. By now, you all know what a history freak I am, so you can probably only imagine how great this was for me. Your tour begins with a short video in the Visitors' Center and then you are off on a 16-mile drive through the battlefields of Vicksburg. I chose to do the tour on my own, with nothing but a park map, my camera, and an umbrella (it was, after all, pouring rain . . . like I said, history FREAK). Throughout the park there artillery and battery placements set up as where they were during Grant's 6-week siege of this Confederate stronghold (which Lincoln called the key to the war) with placards to give you an overview of the action. There are also beautiful monuments dedicated to each state, Union and Confederate, that participated in the campaign, as well as hundreds of statues and busts of the various military leaders (including Lincoln and Davis). It really is a site to be seen. I feel truly privileged to be able to say that I have now visited both of the sites of the two most important military campaigns of the Civil War, the two campaigns that ended up holding this great nation together.

1. Country Catfish and Steakhouse - The great thing about traveling for work is that your food budget is greater than what you might normally pay for food, so you can take some liberties with where you eat. So when I was looking for someplace to eat during the court's lunch break that did not have a drive-through window, my attention was drawn to the large sign and crowded parking lot of the Country Catfish and Steakhouse. Well, as it turns out, this is not really like other steakhouses that we Californians might be used. In fact, I am like 94.736% positive that they do not even serve steak at this here "steakhouse". Oh no, my dear readers, it is much better than that. We are talking buffet, and not just any buffet, but a buffet that serves food that can only be prepared in (1) a casserole dish or (b) a deep fryer. Translation: Heaven. On. Earth. Now, my Sister and my Better Half probably would not be caught dead in a place like the Country Catfish and Steakhouse, but I sure wish my Brother-in-Law had been there to share in the joy with me. For $9.62 (tax included) I had unlimited Diet Coke (a must when monitoring a trial) and an endless supply of macaroni and cheese, peas, corn, gravy, stuffing, fried chicken, fried catfish, and the ever popular fried I-don't-know-what-this-is-but-it-is-fried-so-I'll-try-it-anyway. Nothing says goodnight like a lunch at "The Catfish" and then an afternoon of listening to expert testimony about manganese exposure and the affect it has on the human brain. Ah, Country Catfish and Steakhouse, now that I have met you my life will never be the same (mostly because my stomach has lost the ability to properly digest food and I probably took about 5 years off my life expectancy).

So, as you can see, it turns out that Jackson is not as bad as one might have expected. In fact, I bet you are looking at your calendar right now trying to figure out when you have some time to schedule your vacation to Jackson. Of course, you are probably thinking about Jackson Hole, Wyoming and, well, I do not blame you.