When a guy starts dating a new girl, there is one moment we all fear: meeting her friends. I believe this moment ranks higher than, say, going to the first family gathering or having her mother call your dorm room at 8:00 a.m. on a weekday morning trying to track her daughter down (not that I would know how that feels . . .). For a guy, meeting the friends is never easy because we know, as soon as we leave, we are going to be analyzed in more ways than you ever thought possible. Not even a coroner will dissect us as thoroughly as her friends are about to. In some strange way, it is her friends that will decide whether your relationship is merely a trade deadline acquisition or a long-term contract extension. But here is what the women seldom understand: as important of role as your friends play in deciding whether we are a keeper, your friends help us decide if you are a keeper because, if we can not stand your friends, we will never want them around, and that is probably a deal breaker.
I got lucky. My Better Half has some pretty spectacular friends that I have really gotten to know and call friends of my own now (I promise, I did not do anything wrong last night and I am not in trouble). Sure, she had her share of nut-job friends, but they were nice enough to weed themselves out over time. But her closest friends, BFF (really girls? is that best you could do?), Anime (what? she lives in Japan . . .)Fitty Cent (old joke) COW (sorry A, blame the Better Half, she wanted everyone to know you're a citizen of the world, so you get COW), and Q (no, not that Q) have become an equally important part of my life (marriage, go figure . . . just kidding . . . but seriously . . .). I have been realizing just how close I have gotten to some of My Better Half's friends more recently as Q and I started up a friendly back-and-forth regarding my Dodgers and her newly-beloved Phillies. Since I am not that big of baseball fan, it was all in good fun. I even went so far as to say (actual text) "even though I hate the Yankees, I hope the Phillies lose [Game 1]". Well that did not go so well for me, and that is when things got taken too far. In what I am hoping was only a momentary lapse of judgment, Q did the unthinkable: see attacked the Los Angeles Kings [*dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn*]. The fair-weathered Philadelphia fan (that's right, she's a bay area transplant . . . she sold out her bay-area teams for the greener pastures in Philly . . . once the teams started winning . . . convenient) went and got personal. Can you even name half the Phillies line-up? Do you know who the Eagles play on Sunday? Do you even know how long periods are in a hockey game? I will give you a hint: less than five days. You call yourself a fan? I just hope there was enough room on the bandwagon for you to get a comfortable seat. Who's your daddy now, Q?
Whoa, sorry about that; might have gotten a little carried away right there. But let this be a lesson to all you out there. Tread lightly when dealing with the Chief. There is a reason the old saying "there's a competition and [the Chief's] in it" came along. He rarely lets someone get the better of him. You have been warned, Q. And no, I do not know if one day we can be friends Q. Buts that is mostly because I do not know how you are going to feel when the Yankees win the World Series, when the Giants beat the Eagles on Sunday (but Donovan will still have a good game . . . my Fantasy Football season is depending on it), and when my Kings trounce "your" Flyers on November 18th. Oops . . . it got away from me again. While I take a breather and try to cool myself down, here are some things you might have missed:
After discovering the economy had grown 3.5% in the third quarter, Congress decided there was nothing else left to fix with the country and moved on to more important things, like the NFL.
The NBA put the kibosh on Tim Donaghy's book. But that does not stop Deadspin from having excerpts.
Remember in 1999 when Rick Pitino said Antoine Walker would never have to worry about money again? Just add that to the list of things Pitino got wrong in Boston.
"It was an innocent mistake. [Male] Parents have been very understanding."
Alright, things seemed to have calmed down a little. It looks like the worst is behind us . . . for the time being. But let us not focus on the negative. Let us focus on the positive: tomorrow is Halloween and that means half-naked women. We are in a good mood today and we want to make sure you are too. So we are heavy on the videos for your viewing enjoyment today. You. Are. Welcome.
[Editor's Note: Fore score and, roughly, seven years ago, The Chief set out to write a season preview for his beloved Los Angeles Kings. One draft turned into two, two turned in five, and I think he lost all sense of reality somewhere around draft thirty-seven. Yes the season is now nine games old, but that has not stopped him. So, finally, we present to you the Kings' season preview . . . yes, some references maybe a little dated, but do not blame the messenger.]
It has been a while since we have been able to provide our avid readers with some original content; the type of witty banter you have all grown to love. Lucky for you, a perfect storm of events occurred and have left me with some time. So I thought I would take advantage of this opportunity to get back into the saddle.
For those regular readers out there (you're still there right? Hello? Testing . . . testing . . . 1, 2, 3. Is thing on?), you know how big a fan of Saved by the Bell I am. For those of you stumbling across my little corner of the worldwide web for the first time, I will sum it up for you in one word: ginormous. I could not get enough of it growing up . . . hell . . . I still can not get enough. I do not care how many times I have seen an episode, if Preppy, Screech, Kelly, Lisa, "I'm So Excited", and Abnormally Cruel are on the screen, I am watching. I watched the high school years on Saturday mornings (yes, even their second senior year) and the college years when it went primetime (would you look at that . . . Professor Zolaski is in this episode of NCIS I'm watching . . . told you too much time . . . the perfect storm). When Zack and Kelly finally got hitched, I was watching (in my brother's dorm with him and his roommates).
I was such a big fan, I even tuned into SBTB: The New Class. Believe you me, it takes a big fan to sit through those episodes. The story lines were not as enjoyable, the "escapes" never as funny, and the women not as attractive (though Natalia Cigliuti certainly has grown up nicely . . . how you doin'?). Regardless, I was there. Every Saturday morning. Still a fan. What can I say, I am loyal to a fault.
My loyalty to the Los Angeles Kings is much the same. Not long after my family moved to Southern California, a guy named Gretzky rolled into time. You may have heard of him. His golden locks were not all that different from Zack Morris's hair (pre-The College Years . . . MPG, what were you thinking?). With "The Great One" in town, life was good for us Kings fans (Malibu Sands good), culminating with a trip to the Stanley Cup finals. But then Bruce McNall got into some legal trouble, had to sell the team, Gretzky got traded for three hockey sticks and a bag of peanuts, and the new class arrived. And for a while, things were not so great. Yet there I was, a fan nonetheless; still telling Mom before every season "They're going to be good this season; this is their year." No matter how bad it got (oh, it got bad), I was still going to or watching games. There was a glimmer of hope during the reign of Murray I (we already had a better Bayside, I just didn't know it 'til now), but he was the scapegoat for poor decision made at the top. And then there were the wasted Crawford that make me nauseous just thinking about them. But Dean Lombardi had a plan (a reunion if you will), has stuck to that plan, and last year saw the promising beginning of Murray II's reign. Though they faded at the end of the season, a sign of a young team, the Kings were in the playoff hunt for much of the year and showed improvement. That is why, when asked that annual question by Mom, I joyfully proclaimed "They're going to be real good this year; I guarantee playoff hockey."
The 2009-2010 NHL season is going to be a good one for the Los Angeles Kings. They have a lot to build on from last season. Murray II brought a defense-first mentality and the results were impressive. Last year the Kings allowed the fourth fewest shots per game (28.1), and ranked eleventh in goals-against-average (2.76 per game) and goals allowed (226). Their penalty kill, which finished dead last in 2007-2008, improved to seventh overall (82.9%) [Editor's Note: never mind that they're dead last after 10 games thus far this season]. But with the defensive focus, the offense struggled and registered the third-fewest goals in the league (207 or 2.52/game). Most notably, however, the Kings were the third youngest team in league last season. They have a nucleus of players under the age of twenty-six: Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown, Drew Doughty, Jack Johnson, Jonathon Quick, Wayne Simmonds, Oscar Moller, and Matt Greene, just to name a few. The biggest surprise of the year was clearly Drew Doughty, the Kings first-round pick in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft (2nd overall). He registered twenty-seven points (6 goals, 21 assists) in eighty-one games played. Paired with veteran Sean O'Donnell, Doughty showed marked improvement throughout the year. With this core of young players returning, there is plenty of reason to be optimistic . . . but there is more.
Lombardi made two crucial off-season acquisitions I believe will dramatically improve this team. The first, a trade with the Colorado Avalanche that brought Ryan Smyth (yes, with a "y") over to Los Angeles. Smyth gives the Kings something they have not had for a long time (ever?), a player who makes his living in front of the net, making life miserable for the opposing goaltender. His presence should open up the ice more for players like Kopitar, allowing him to use his phenomenal offensive skills more consistently. [Editor's Note: would you look at that, 16 points (8 goals and 8 assists) through 10 games for Kopi . . . and Smyth's 14 points (6 goals and 8 assists) aren't too shabby either.] Additionally, he will provide an important veteran leadership role for the forwards, much like O'Donnell has done for the defense. Speaking of defense, the second acquisition of importance was the signing of Rob Scuderi, who helped lead the Pittsburgh Penguins to its Stanley Cup victory last season. [Editor's Note: "This is Rob Scuderi. I didn't come to L.A. to finish second." Love that attitude.] Scuderi adds another veteran defensive-minded defenseman to compliment the Kings' arsenal of young, offensive-minded defensemen. [Editor's Note: single-handedly saved two goals last night against the Stars.] Mark my words, these two acquisitions will be the most-talked about acquisitions in the league by the time the season comes to an end.
As for last year's breakout player, I may or may not have missed the mark a little bit. Okay, I was way off. Brian Boyle did not even finish the season with the Kings, shipped off to the Rangers in a trade deadline move. That is a little embarrassing on my part. I hope to do better this season, but my breakout pick is a little risky. Look for Teddy Purcell to be the breakout player for the Kings this season. Purcell has good size (6' 3", 202 lbs), great speed, and great hands. Purcell has scored in buckets for the Kings' minor league affiliate in Manchester the past two season, but his scoring touch has not transferred to the NHL during is brief stints with the Kings over that time. I see that changing this season and I am predicting a twenty-plus goal season for Purcell. [Editor's Note: 2 goals, 1 assist through 10 games . . . it's a start.] Of course, there is always the chance he will not perform and either be sent back to Manchester or shipped off to another team. So this goes out to you Teddy: do not prove me wrong, please.
Last, but certainly not least, is the big question going into every season for the past ten years: what will the Kings' goaltending be like. It has been the position that has plagued the Kings the most of my years as a fan. Well, I am happy to stay it is not as big of a question this season. Last season, Jonathan Quick came out of nowhere to post a respectable 21-18-2 record in forty-four games, with a 2.47 goals-against-average and .914 save percentage. Quick was one of the main reasons the Kings stayed in the playoff hunt late into the season and comes into this season as the clear cut number one goalie. He will be backed up by Erik Ersberg, who managed an 8-11-5 in twenty-eight games with a 2.65 goals-against-average and .900 save percentage. Together they are a pair of goalies capable of keeping the Kings in every game. And do not think I have forgotten about Jonathan Bernier, the Kings' first-round selection in 2006 (11th overall), who has all the makings of a franchise goalie and will get a full season of experience down at Manchester after spending the previous seasons in junior hockey. Do not be surprised if the Kings move Ersberg sometime during the season and we see Bernier serving as back up. This will be his team sooner than later.
Which brings us to the final question: where will the Kings finish the season? Will it be another season of SBTB: The New Class or will we finally get the original cast reunion we have been waiting for? As I told Mom, the Kings' are going to be real good this season, [Editor's Note: 6-4-0 through 10 games, tied for 1st in the Pacific with Dallas and Phoenix . . . What? The Coyotes? . . . It's early.] and that means I will be seeing all of you at the Staples Center in mid-to-late-April when the Kings are busy eliminating the some poor, unsuspecting team from the Stanley Cup playoffs. Will they finally raise the Cup this season? Don't be silly, baby steps . . . that comes next year.
So, with the successful revival of my golf game, I decided to look for other facets of my life that could use a little retooling. The first thing I stumbled across was my physical fitness. It is not like I am terribly out of shape, but I have added a few pounds since the end of summer. That being said, I think my physical fitness level peaked back during my sophomore year of college (9 years ago? Really? Man, I'm old). Money Bags and I were working out in some fashion almost everyday (MB had this diabolical sprint workout he loved to do . . . me, not so much . . . but it certainly made me faster). As I see, every year since then, there has been a small slip in my fitness level. No more. I have officially started "The Streak" (currently standing at 2), which will be the number of days in a row I am able to work out (gym, I'll be kicking your [censored] after work . . . put it on the bulletin board). When the first streak ends, I will simply start a new one, trying to best the previous. Hopefully by Christmas I will be well on my way back to where I want to be.
A 5k race series "bringing fitness, beer and flirting together for a big finish line party"? Sign me up.
I have been struggling in my NFL Pick 'Em Pool this year. Hopefully The Sports Guy's week 6 preview can help.
I know a trap when I see one; so does Michael Vick.
Were you, like me, shocked to discover Michael Sims-Walker was not playing even though you had him in your starting Fantasy Football line-up? He had his reasons.
I do not know what is more interesting, the allegations in this lawsuit or the background of two of the attorneys involved. You decide.
Justice, Pitino style: "Any time you defy a police officer, it's serious. They will be punished and are being punished right now. But no, they will not miss game time."
Before proceeding to our weekly video selection, a quick GameTime, TBD poll: would you prefer future post only relate to sports, or would you like to see a broad spectrum of topics covered? Think it over, discuss it amongst yourselves, and let me know. In the meantime, enjoy these videos as the rest of your week slowly comes to an end:
. . . three days, 63 holes (I'm such a slut), lots of money. Last year, I was invited to a golf tournament started by one of the partners of my firm and his friends, which has lasted about twenty years now. It runs Saturday through Monday, in which you play eighteen holes on Saturday, twenty-seven on Sunday, and eighteen more on Monday (if you can still swing your club by that point . . . HEY-OH!). The whole thing is handicap adjusted, and matches you and a teammate (this year I'm bringing my good buddy Coop, Coop-a-loop) for all the money. Even better, we get to play three great courses: Rancho San Marcos (Saturday), Alisal Ranch (Sunday), and Sandpiper (Monday). Do not be jealous . . . okay, be a little jealous.
I have been looking forward to this weekend for the past fifty-one weekends. You see, it was at this tournament last year (my first invite) that I discovered my swing had too many flaws to make it in the long run. My game went all David Duval circa-2002 on me and I pretty much embarrassed myself and my buddy Hizzle the whole weekend. I realized my swing had become a house of cards, and the more I tried to fix it myself, the more hitches and hiccups I put that served as little more than temporary patches. I never thought about giving up the game, and for the first time in a long time, I did not just go by a new club to make me feel better. I found myself a golf teacher and, over the past five months, I have torn my swing down and built it back up. I may not be scoring as well as I would like to heading into this weekend (my handicap is the highest it has been in over a decade), I know that comes mostly from only having played two rounds in the past three months. As I get out there more, I know more scores will come down as I remember all of my course management skills. However, I am confident going into this weekend because my ball striking (Matt Holliday knows a thing or two about ball striking) is back to where it was in college and I am hitting the ball longer and straighter (for the most part) than I may ever have. Since the tournament is handicap adjusted, the scoring will take care of itself. Yes, my short game still needs a lot . . . nay . . . A LOT of work (hence the not scoring well), but that will come with more time spent on the course (and less time putting from the rough . . . HEY-OH!). More importantly than all that though, I have remembered how much fun golf actually is; I remember why I fell in love with the game in the first place. So now I have focused, confident, and ready to hand it to three challenging course (read: get it handed to me), all with a smile on my face.
Friday Night Lights, the best show you (or anyone else for that matter) are not watching, returns October 26th on DirecTV's The 101. A cast easy on the eyes does not hurt either.
Speaking of easy on the eyes, Esquire went and did this. Gentlemen, you. Are. Welcome.
[We interrupt our Link Dump for some non-sports-related news.] What do you do when you have your Miss Teen Louisiana crown striped after a pot bust (note to self, remember to not leave identifying items behind when pulling the old dine-and-dash trick)? This of course. [We now return to our regularly scheduled Link Dump.]
Let me see, that is three more medals for the United States and one gold for New Zealand.
Last night was a tough night for St. Louis fans all around.
Well, it is hard to deny, I am in a great mood right now. I have a three-day weekend ahead of me just so I can golf. It does not get much better than that. But since I know not all of you are as lucky as I am right now, I feel it is only appropriate we provide you with only the finest videos for your weekly viewing enjoyment. Let us say we call it a special gift to you, our dedicated readers, because the Chief is feeling it today.
With playoff baseball finally here, it is time we enjoy one of the best calls in the history of the game.
The chief is indisposed at the moment with actual work . . . go figure. He was hoping to be able to prepare everything at the same time, but that does not seem possible. We sincerely apologize for not being able to bring you your weekly dose of entertainment. Check back later, however, as we are hoping to have our Kings' season preview up soon as opening night is tomorrow night.
Hope you all have a great Friday and an amazing weekend!
