Oopsies

Two things:

(1) First and foremost, we would like to apologize for the complete radio silence last Friday here at GameTime, TBD©.  My Better Half and I celebrated our third anniversary last week (time flies when you're having fun) and as our gifts to each other we planned a group orgy trip to San Francisco for the Outside Lands music festival.  We flew up to San Francisco early Friday and, in all the excitement, I shirked my duties to you, our dear readers, and failed to provide you with any form of entertainment whatsoever.  If it makes you feel any better, the festival was totally uh-mazing.  It was highlighted by Muse on Saturday night, which was pretty much one of the best live shows I have seen.  I also got to see Majer Lazer, Arcade Fire, Phish, OK Go, The Arctic Monkeys, Deadmau5 (which My Better Half said sounded like one long song [shakes head]) and The Black Keys, who were, by far, the surprise performance of the weekend for me.  And it was all punctuated by the fact that I got to enjoy the weekend with My Better Half in celebration of three great years.

(B) Speaking of My Better Half, she and I dove into Season 2 of The Tudors this week (yes we're a little behind the times).  If you have not seen The Tudors, the show can essentially be broken down into two parts, (1) Henry VIII yelling, and (b) people getting it on (turns out people loved to do the nasty back then, who knew?).  Anyways, during a scene of the latter kind with Henry and Anne Boleyn, My Better Half said the following:  "Natalie Dormer (actress who plays Anne Boleyn) has an amazing rack."  I commented that I thought they looked kind of fake because they did not really move, to which My Better Half noted that it was more the position of her body preventing them from moving and they were definitely not fake.   [Editor's Note: reason no. 347,218,769 why My Better Half is better than yours . . . she's so confident in herself that she strikes up conversations about other chicks breasts.]

For the record, I am absolutely terrible at telling the difference between real and fake breasts.  Unless a woman is rocking sweater kittens pointing north of the border, I am just as likely to think someone is wearing a good push-up bra as I am to think they paid ten grand for the right to never wear a bra again.  I attribute this deficiency to two things: (1) my general lack of interest in strip clubs, porn, and the like; and, somewhat related, (b) never having seen a pair up close (to my knowledge) and/or felt a pair.  To be honest, it is somewhat embarrassing when I am totally oblivious and either my friends or My Better Half makes a comment and I am none-the-wiser.  This is a problem I would like to remedy.  So, if (1) you are a reader of GameTime, TBD©, (b) have fake breasts, and (iii) are cool with me feeling your fake rack in a totally platonic way, go ahead and drop us a line via Twitter or email.  Do not worry, I figure the whole scene will play out something like this (which will be followed by this interaction with one of my friends . . . naturally).

Well, our little corner of the world wide web is so popular, I imagine the offers from fake-breasted ladies should start rolling in any moment now.  So while we are off checking Twitter and our email, here are some things you might have missed from the week that was:

• Okay, so I am pretty sure you did not miss the news about "The U", but if you have not read the official Yahoo Sports report, I recommend you do so now.
• Now, that you are caught up on all the dirty details, this flowchart should make more sense.
• With people debating whether or not Miami should get the "death penalty" for its transgressions, I think it is time we check in with Southern Methodist University, the only school to actually receive the death penalty, and their new strip club-esque football locker room.
• Well, at least he was honest.
• The lawsuit ten years in the making has finally arrived.
• Would you look at that, intelligent life does exist inside the New York Islanders organization.
• "This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation."
• Baseball players always manage to find interesting ways to injure themselves.  Today's culprit: sleep.
• Let this be a lesson to you children, think twice before speeding on your motorcycle with multiple loaded guns.
• Robbie Keane is bringing his talents to Los Angeles.  Of course, by "his talents", I meant these. [Editor's Note: fake, right?]
• If ever there was a good reason for workers to strike, I would think "when a barrel filled with chemical products exploded" is it.
• When future law students study the First Amendment, this should be an interesting topic of discussion.

Right, the offers will start rolling in any second now . . . [checks watch] . . . well, you know, it is Friday and I am sure most of you are just trying to get out early.  So I imagine they will come in this weekend, and then we can go from there.  In the meantime, here are some videos to help you get through the rest of your work week.  Just as a heads up, this is probably, time wise, the longest collection of videos we have ever posted.  Excited?  Here we go:

• Twelve minutes of girl fails?  Twelve minutes of [mostly-drunk] girl fails.
• As it turns out, some of the most famous lines/scenes in cinematic history were never scripted; go figure.  [Editor's Note: strong language, headphones/closing of office door advised.]
• Ages ago, we brought you "Batting Stance Guy" impersonating . . . well . . . batting stances.  As it turns out, he does some other pretty solid impersonations as well.
• Ah yes, the old "racket-to-balls" trick.  Gets them every time.
• Why use just words when you can look like an idiot instead?  Thanks, ESPN.
• I would not mind seeing a few more Swingers references around here, so might as well get the ball rolling on that one.
• Not shown: me doing everything Danny MacAskill does . . . blindfolded.
• I imagine the presidential primaries will be providing Jimmy Kimmel with plenty of unnecessary censorship opportunities.  Oh look, I am right.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Commence Operation: Game Changer

One of the reasons I chose to go with complete anonymity on GameTime, TBD© is that it allows me to talk more openly about things without embarrassing people too much.  Sure, many of my most avid readers are close friends, so the anonymity is somewhat wasted.  Yet my little corner of the world wide web is open to any and all comers, and I want them to be able to enjoy this site for not only our humor, but our willingness to open about life as well.  After all, it is "a look at sports and life".

Training for four half marathons over the past year has definitely taught me a lot of things.  After all, you can go crazy if you do not have something interesting to focus on during miles ten and beyond.  Sometimes I will just focus on another runner to help me keep pace (a "carrot" if you will).  Other times I focus on things going on in my life to distract me from my legs' constant questioning of "What did we do to you to deserve this?"  But while I have mastered the tricks necessary to get through my training, I have yet conquer, perhaps, the greatest hurdle:  the overwhelming disappointment I feel in myself when a run does not go as well as I thought.

Distance running is a fickle sport.  There are so many factors that contribute to the success, or lack thereof, for any given run.  Temperature, wind, the call of nature, road conditions, and other runners are just a few.  These are things that are out of a runners' control.  But I am a competitive person, so when a run does not go as well as I had planned, I tend to be consumed by thoughts of what I did or did not do that contributed to the outcome.

If you have not guessed it by now, the San Francisco Half Marathon did not go as well as I had hoped.  I will not lie, it was my slowest of the four.  And to top it off, around mile ten I got [censored] on by a bird.  And while my Better Half and my friends are great at making me feel better, the results have been eating away at me all week.  And that is how I have gotten to this point, the start of what I call Operation: Game Changer.  If I am going to be the runner I know I can be, some things have got to change.  For starters, I did battle through a little burn out during training this time around, so I am taking the six weeks I have between now and the start of the next training period to enjoy some new forms of physical activities.  For example, I did yoga with my Better Half this week (#WINNING), and it was great.  I can also take this time to throw some weight training back into the routine, which is always enjoyable.  Sure, I still need to run to keep my base up, but I am going to embrace the opportunity to freshen up my non-running days.  Most importantly, however, is that I am going to really focus on my nutrition and finally conquer some of my life-long weight issues.  Sure, my height and broad shoulders allow me to carry my weight without looking big, but the GameTime, TBD© family has not been blessed with best knees in the business.  I have been stuck in this 225 to 230 pound zone for far too long.  If I can get back to my "playing" weight, I figure the reduced stress on my joints is going to be good for a couple extra minutes alone.

My next half marathon is the Big Sur Half on November 20th.  I actually run that half as a training run for the Surf City Half Marathon that falls on Super Bowl Sunday.  But that will be my first marker of progress, and a run I am looking forward to more than ever.  Operation: Game Changer has officially commenced.

Okay, that was probably a little heavier than you were expecting for your Link Dump introduction.  So how about we me just go ahead and get to the more entertaining portion of our show?

• Look, Michelle, reputations come from somewhere.  So maybe you need to think about your role in all of this as well.
• Feel-good, stor-y (clap, clap, clap clap clap).
• Northwestern wants your help picking its new basketball court design.  Choice E, "Are These The Only Choices?", strangely absent.
• Matt Stairs retired on Wednesday, which is only news because it allows us to revisit the greatest quote in post-game press conference history.
• I do not remember this scene from Bull Durham.
• Perhaps a couple years in college would have done him some good.
• "Walker attempted to eat eight grams of marijuana before being arrested."
• Funny, I always thought "nude recreation" was a major offered at ASU.  After all, is that not how most of its female population spends the majority of their six years there?
• I am going to go out on a limb and guess that she is probably looking for some new representation at this point in time.

I am not going to lie, while I am glad the NFL lockout is over, it has made it a lot more difficult to find entertaining stories for the Link Dump.  The crazed coverage that all the sports media outlets are giving to the NFL is getting a little annoying.  However, while the NFL coverage has limited our access to entertaining stories, it has not limited our access to entertaining videos.  Hooray!

• I played soccer for twelve years, and was definitely above average [Editor's Note: #humblebrag].  That being said, I could not do this if you gave one thousand chances (I'm guessing).
• In these fifty-nine seconds, the womens' athletic movement is set back roughly two decades.  Impressive, no? 
• Oh, and this is not helping either.
• See . . . I . . . what I meant was . . . um . . .
• A double dose of Jimmy Kimmel for you this week: (1) the always enjoyable (at least to me) Unnecessary Censorship; and (b) an introduction to Tiger Woods's new caddy.
• After watching this waterslide fail, I guess I can not be too surprised about the grammar fail.
• The best three minutes of your day.  [Editor's Note: TWSS!]

Have a great weekend everyone!

Run Away, Run Away

We here at GameTime, TBD© acknowledge that this is us today:

On the bright side, Kate Upton was out there doing what she does best (read: looking hot in a bikini) earlier this week:

So, there that is.

Anyways, long story short, The Chief is headed off to San Francisco this afternoon for his fourth half marathon in the past year. [Editor's Note: *applause, applause, applause . . . trumpets, trumpets, trumpets . . . fanfare, fanfare, fanfare*  Thank you; you're all too kind.]  Unfortunately, that means we are short on time this week and will not be able to provide you with your weekly dose of entertainment, commonly known as the Link Dump (hence the boring picture of the moderately attractive female above).  But in our effort to never leave you completely empty-handed on a Friday (see, e.g., said picture above), here is a six-second video that provides the shock-and-awe response we like around here (shock, as in "Oh my!", and awe, as in "Awwwwwwwww-[censored], did that really just happen?").  I have watched this video at least twenty times this week and it still cracks me up.

As always, we appreciate your continued support and understanding on days like this.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Gone, But Not Forgotten

[Editor's Note: yup, the bathroom scene still gets me every time.]

Summer vacation was fun while it lasted, but it feels good to be back up and running at the GameTime, TBD© offices.  After an extended break like we took, you almost forget how much fun it is to review stories and videos with an eye towards the Link Dump for Friday.  So here we are, ready to go again. [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]

I am not going to lie, I did not have a good time watching the U.S. Women's National Team lose to Japan last Sunday.  It certainly did not help in my recovery from the wedding My Better Half and I had attended the night before (I think she was still drunk during the match).  Watching that game, it was hard to believe that we were only a week removed from one of the greatest moments in soccer (of any gender) history.  [Editor's Note: still gives me chills . . .]  But while the Women's World Cup may be gone, the women of the World Cup are certainly not forgotten.  Every where you look this week, someone from the USWNT is there.  So, we figured, why not cash in on some of the hype as well?  And, well, from there, it was fairly obvious (to us at least) how best to "cash in" on said hype . . .

That is right, dear readers, it is time for the next installment of GameTime, TBD©'s favorite game, Marry-[Censored]-Kill, the USWNT Edition.  Outside of Abby Wambach and her forehead, the two other players to receive a significant amount of attention over the past three weeks were goaltender Hope Solo and striker Alex Morgan, and it was not just because of their play on the field.  [Editor's Note: that depends on what "field" you're referring to, no? BIYOMBO!]  To the surprise of many onlookers, it turned out Hope and Alex are pretty easy on the eyes (I mean just look how excited a Washington State fan got for Alex, a Berkeley alum . . . that's saying something).  So, with two of our three contestants ready for a showdown, who should join them?  I am sure there are many people out there who find Abby attractive, but short hair is not really my thing which would make the choice too obvious.  We like out competition to be stiff.  [Editor's Note: yeah we did.]  So, without a doubt, we have to go with perennial USWNT hottie Heather Mitts, who missed the 2003 and 2007 WWCs due to injury.  With that being settled, we would like to know which of these soccer ladies you would marry, [censored], and kill: (1) Heather Mitts; (b) Alex Morgan; and (iii) Hope Solo.

Let me begin by saying it was difficult to find comparative pictures of all the ladies.  Alex Morgan has been a sports blog-favorite for several years, so her Facebook photos have been splashed all over the internet.  And Heather Mitts has posed for the Sports IllustratedSwimsuit Issue with her husband, quaterback A.J. Feeley.  Hope, on the other, burst on to the hotness scene during the World Cup, so the options were somewhat limited for her.  That is why, in fairness to all, we went with photos from a team photo shoot.  That being said, the photos do not really do any of these ladies justice, so do yourself a favor and run a search in Google images (you know, "research" the topic).  When asked to weigh in, The Chief threw us a wild card.  We "type-cast" Mitts for The Chief, and what does he do?  He goes out there and says "It's a sad day when an attractive blond has to bite the bullet."  Apparently, there is something about Hope's new brunette look that The Chief "can't explain, but [he finds] her shockingly attractive."  Plus, friend-of-the-program Ballgame is absolutely in love with Alex and her pink sports bra, so the Chief could not possibly take her from him.  But, sleep with her once?  Eskimo Brothers it is.

It is never easy, is it?  For some of you, it might take a while to "research" the topic and mull over your options.  Others of you will probably just fire from the hip.  So, it is best that move on to the links for those of you who have already decided:

• The eighth and final season of Entourage premieres (premiered?) this week.  So, to help you get ready, here is a look back at the hottest girls from seasons one through seven.
• I must say, it is not very often that someone can upstage Kate Upton in a photo shoot.
• If you are in Boston and have seen the Stanley Cup, please notify Nathan Horton's wife.  She would like to have her day with the Cup. 
• Let us all hope that the second time is the charm for the LAPD.
• Seattle only lost by a touchdown?  Wow, looks like Pete Carroll has that team headed in . . . What is that you say? Wrong football? Oh.
• If you are interested in carrying Tiger's woods and balls, he is hiring.
• Hey Lute, ever heard of a little thing I like to call karma?
• There is nothing like a good, judicial verbal lashing that makes me proud to be an attorney.
• You stay classy, parents of twelve-year-old softball players.
• Speaking of softball, remember that one time Meatloaf was a softball coach?

Well, it appears that many of you enjoyed the video-heavy Link Dump we went with last week.  So, we figured, why not do it again?  After all, there are quite a few videos out there that we did not get a chance to post during our summer vacation.  So, here is another extra-large dose of videos for your viewing pleasure:

• A time-lapse video that is almost too beautiful to be real.  But it is.
• It was only a matter of time before Jim and Alec's rivalry affected innocent bystanders.
• I feel like Steve Nash and I would have a lot of fun together if we were friends.  Steve, consider this an open invitation.
• Chad Reed is rested and recovered after . . . oops . . . might need some more rest and recovery.
• A little rough on the landing, might have to settle for the bronze . . .
• . . . which means this guy might be out of medal contention altogether.
• The answer is no, you are not smarter than a fifth grader.
• It is nice to see J.T. feign humility for at least two second.
• Something tells me Susan Hendricks does not need dolls to mimic that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh, Hello There

Howdy strangers.  Did you miss us?  It sure seems like it has been a while.  What? What is that you say? It has been TWO MONTHS?!?!?!  Yikes.  My bad.

First and foremost, allow me to apologize for the unexplained shutdown of GameTime, TBD© for the past two months.  Not to make excuses (cue the excuses), but a lot has gone done around the offices over the past two months.  There is a possible announcement looming on the horizon that will likely have a dramatic impact on our little corner of the world wide web, and, while things remain in limbo, I did not want to hold out on you, my avid readers, any longer.  When you mix holding out for a final decision to be made with actual work and the various holidays, you get two months of silence around these parts.  But we are back up and running at full speed for the indefinite future, and I will obviously, as I always do, keep you all in the loop if and when any developments actually occur.

Yes, I know that does not necessarily make up for two months of radio silence, not even a sympathy post featuring a picture of an attractive female celebrity, but I do hope you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Before we get to the goods [Editor's Note: that's what she said!], I wanted to briefly update you on a couple of topics:

• The Boston Red Sox kick-off the "second half" of their season tonight with a 55-35 record and holding a game-and-a-half lead over the New York Yankees in the American League East.  After starting the season 2-10, Boston remembered they were supposed to win a lot of games this season and started doing just that.  And that has been great for my little "science experiment".  At the start of play today (read: pre-bet), my co-scientist and I were up $329.77 on the season.  But things did not always look so pretty.  We reached a season low $-123.43 on April 15th after a 7-6 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays.  From there, we did not reach positive figures until a 15-5 win over the Chicago Cubs on May 20th.  After bouncing back and forth between positive and negative territory for the next few games, we have remained in the green since an 8-6 win over the Oakland A's on June 3rd.  Since then, it has been a steady climb to current season-high of $329.77.  You may be asking how I know all of this.  Well, I can be a little anal retentive, so I have a complex spreadsheet tracking everything.  Shocking, I know.
• I am a fan of smart television; that is why most of the shows I grow to love get canceled before they should.  Since the main networks prefer to pander to the lowest common denominator, shows like Sports Night, Life, Veronica Mars, Studio 60, Friday Night Lights, and Freaks and Geeks do not survive (the average-American viewer is too dumb to understand them . . . yeah, I went there).  Which brings me to the Women's World Cup (totally saw that one coming, right?).  Perhaps the smartest thing ESPN has ever done (more on this below) was to bring Ian Darke in as their main soccer play-by-play man.  Why is that you ask?  Well, not only is Mr. Darke a genius with his calls (see, e.g., (1) "Oh, it's INCREDIBLE!"; (B) "It is an AB-solute FIRECRACKER . . ."; (iii) "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?"; and (d) and the always simple, "It's a GOAL!"), but he is actually a genius.  He displays his intelligence through his word choice and dry sense of humor, or "Darkeisms".  If you actually listen to the things he says throughout the course of the game (like when the ball is just being passed around the midfield), I guarantee you will laugh at least a half-dozen times, probably more.  For example, only a few short minutes before Abby Wambach scored possibly the most dramatic goal in U.S. Soccer history (sorry Landycakes) against Brazil, with the ball out of play and U.S defender Ali Krieger desperately trying to retrieve it, Darke dropped this classic "Darkeism": "The ball went out of play there, and a retinue of intellectuals decided they'd hand it around among themselves before throwing it back." Legen . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . dary.
  
• I am going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Part 2 tonight . . . yeah, you read that correctly.

Anyways, I apologize again for the delay in getting things back up and running.  So, without further adieu, I present to you our first Link Dump in two months to help get you through your Friday:

• In non-sports related news, for all you beer lovers out there, here are some ideas for your next vacation . . . 
• . . . and, apparently Groupon does things a little differently over in Europe.
• Sports Illustrated put together a list of the Top 100 sports-related twitter feeds not named @GameTimeTBD that you should be following.
• ESPN, raising the bar of the stupid decisions since 2011.
• But what about "Always pay cash"?
• Your feel-good story of the week comes from the (sing it Dre!) city of Compton.
• You expect me to believe that a guy with nearly a billion dollars in the bank and who is making at least $20 million in endorsements is possibly running out of money?  Right.
• "Reagan Kennedy says she's now working toward her ultimate golf goal - beating her father."  Daddy issues already?
• Dear Lord, not another Hopoate-style incident.  And for those of you now asking "What the [censored] is "Netball"?", here you go.

I am taking a calculated risk with this week's Link Dump return: less articles, more videos.  What do you think?  I figured it is the end of a long summer week, you are tired, and likely do not want to waste time reading things.  So why not go heavy with videos?  You will thank me later:

• With an assist from the bikini-clad smokeshows in the pool.
• Dear Dude, Can you please stop singing?  There is an attractive woman working the pole behind you.  Kthxbye.
• Things Dwyane Wade loses to: (1) the Dallas Mavericks; (b) basketball nets; (iii) six-year-old basketball players even when he tries to abuse his height advantage.
• We are not Giants fans here at GameTime, TBD©, but know a good number of our readers are.  So, to them, here is a reminder that The Franchise: A Season with the San Francisco Giants premiered this week on Showtime.
• Ever wonder what happens when you let Real Madrid practice at UCLA?
• Could this video have been the breakthrough in NFL labor negotiations?
• What is a talk show host to do if he accidentally books two comedians for the same night?  Follow Conan's lead.
• Wedding entrance fail? Wedding entrance fail.
• First Justin Bieber and now Rebecca Black?  How else would you expect him to respond?

It feels good to be back.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Blogosphere, We Have a Problem

It is going to have to be quick and dirty today.  [Editor's Note: that's what she said!]  Our problems are two fold: (1) Blogger, the site which hosts the greatest blog ever created . . . or what you call GameTime, TBD©, had flat-lined for most of the morning, only recently being shocked back to life (yup, I definitely watched too much of last night's Grey's Anatomy); (B) actual work reared its ugly head yesterday in the worst kind of way and has left us with a very short window to provide you, our dear readers, with a short Link Dump to help you through your Friday.

Thankfully all is not lost.  Some genius at Esquire magazine said to some other genius at Esquire magazine, "You know, I haven't seen Marisa Miller in a sexy photo shoot in a while."  So said second genius replied, "We should get her to do one."  And you know what?  They did:

It was if the Gods of the blogosphere knew things were not going to end well for us this week, so they blessed us with Marisa in all her glory.  Not only that, but Marisa finally jumped on the Twitter bandwagon this week and let us know that this is one of her all-time favorite pictures of herself.  Well played Marisa, well played.

And, of course, we all need a few good laughs on Fridays, especially Fridays like this.  And again, the Gods of the blogosphere came through for us:

• It is time to play "Count the Sexual Innuendos".  We will set the clock at 3:51.  Ready . . . GO!
• Well, it is Friday and, you know, you gotta get down on Friday.
• In N' Out is bringing tears  . . . and obesity . . . but mostly tears . . . to the people of Texas.
• That is just Roger being Roger . . . except the whole losing the match part.
• Ten points to the Rockies' announcers who spend the first thirty seconds of this video ball-washing the grounds crew.
• This is what the American League is doing to the Chief and his little "science experiment".
• Really? REALLY?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Never Mix Your Downers and Your Uppers

We have on good authority that the Chief has finally come to terms with end of the Los Angeles Kings' season and is finally ready to get things back up and running at full speed here in the GameTime, TBD© offices.  As such, we spent the better part of Wednesday and Thursday bouncing around ideas for the introduction for this week's Link Dump.  And, obviously, the topic we kept coming back to is the death of Osama bin Laden.  Now, we, like everyone else, are ready to never hear that man's name uttered ever again, but with his death, and the subsequent news coverage, we have all been reminded of just how far reaching the impact of September 11th was.  And, so we thought we would take this opportunity to share one of the many sports-related stories you may not have heard before.

Whenever someone attends their first Los Angeles Kings' game at the Staples Center, a lot of times you hear them ask this question: "Why is the Kings' mascot named Bailey?"  I am not surprised by the question; Bailey does seem like an odd name for a lion (the King of beasts) mascot.  I am more surprised with how few Kings fans actually know the answer.  So here we go:

Garnet "Ace" Bailey won two Stanley Cups with the Boston Bruins (1970 and 1972).  But his real impact in the NHL came from his career after his playing days, as a scout.  His keen eye for talent helped build the great Edmonton Oilers' dynasty of the mid-to-late 1980s.  During his time in Edmonton, he had become a mentor and close friend to the NHL's greatest ambassador, Wayne Gretzky.  In 1994, he was hired by the Kings to serve as their Director of Pro Scouting, a position he held until 2001.

On a warmer-than-average September morning in Boston, Massachusetts, Ace Bailey and fellow-Kings scout Mark Bavis meet at Logan International Airport in preparation for their flight to Los Angeles for the start of the Kings' training camp and the beginning of the season.  They board their flight with fifty-four other passengers, push back from the gate at 7:58 a.m., and officially depart for Los Angeles at 8:14 a.m.  Unfortunately, Bailey and Bavis will never make it to Los Angeles.  That is because, at the direction of Osama bin Laden, five hijackers will take over United Airlines flight 175 and, at 9:03 a.m., with the world watching live on television, fly the plane into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

Since the President announced that the U.S. had finally tracked down and killed the most wanted in the world last Sunday, news organizations far and wide began tracking down both survivors and the families of those who lost their life in the attacks of September 11th, to get their response to news.  ESPN's Scott Burnside had the opportunity to catch up with the Bailey family, who have carried on Ace's legacy through a foundation helping children battling serious illnesses.  Burnside also took the time to catch up with current-Washington Capitals head coach Bruce Boudreau, who, at the time, was the head coach of the Kings' AHL affiliate in Manchester, New Hampshire and had his own connection to Bailey.  And for those of us who cheer on the Kings every season, we are reminded of Garnet "Ace" Bailey with the presence of a lion, the Kings' mascot Bailey.

I am not going to lie, there are exactly zero good ways to transition from a story of 9/11 to the entertaining part of the Link Dump, the links.  I will say this, if you have not been following this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs, you have been missing out on the best playoffs of recent memory, games that are head and shoulders ahead of anything the NBA can produce in terms of drama and excitement.  Seriously, I can not recommend strongly enough that you try to check out some of the action this weekend.  I promise it will be worth your time.  Speaking of worth your time:

• Men in green tights have not been this entertaining since Mel Brooks did his thing.  So, NHL, stop trying to ruin a good thing.
• Please add "Wayne Gretzky Rookie Card" to your "Things That Are Recession Proof" list.
• Flutie did it! Flutie did it!
• What? Police using racial profiling? Get right out of town.
• Just a friendly reminder that, while the First Amendment gives you the right to speak your mind freely, it does not protect you from the consequences of exercising that right poorly.
• Only with the Browns. 
• "We're not moving to Toronto." But Los Angeles sure is nice in the winter.
• Heartbreak city.
• For the talent portion of the competition, Miss Michigan will demonstrate her skill with a blade.
• Your "Horrible Person of the Week" award goes to . . . 
• Anyone know when Amazon.com will be accepting pre-orders for this one? 
• The biggest mover up my list of favorite sports is cricket; twenty-fifth and climbing.  [Editor's Note: make sure you enjoy the audio portion of the story.]

The video portion of the Link Dump is always an interesting process.  Some weeks the idiots stay home so we have to dig through our archives for yet-to-be-shown entertaining videos.  Other weeks it is like there is an idiot convention on the internet and every one is rushing to one-up each other with videos.  Well, thankfully for you, this week was the latter of the two:

• Nut shot + "I pooped myself a little" = #WINNING.  [Editor's Note: normally nut shots don't require sound to be entertaining . . . watch this one without sound first, and then discover how it is eleventy billion times funnier with sound.]
• I like a man who is not afraid to put his money kidney where his mouth is.
• At what point, exactly, does one come to the decision that it is a good idea to get in front of a snowmobile rolling down a hill?  1:35 apparently  . . .
• Security guard, FTW!
• Pull-up Bar 1, Jag-Bag Trainer 0.
• You have to be awfully confident in your job performance to pull off this office prank.
• Smashville, population camera guy.
• I thought I heard a Rebecca Black reference in Obama's speech last Sunday.
• Is it lazy of us to post Jimmy Kimmel's "This Week in Unnecessary Censorship" every week?  Probably.  Will we stop? [Censored] no!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Failville, Population Fail

It has been a pretty quiet week around the GameTime, TBD© offices, what with the Los Angeles Kings' season coming to an end this past night.  The Chief is clearly still in mourning.  Just not himself.  I mean, the "brain trust" is out for the day and he still says he has "things to get done for the end of the month."  Clearly, he is taking this harder than we expected.

And, well, all you people telling the Chief that there are plenty of seats available on the Canucks and/or Sharks' bandwagons are not doing us any favors.  I mean, really, you think the Chief is going throw his support behind the last two teams to eliminate his Kings from playoffs?  The Chief has asked one Ms. Kristen Bell to respond to these offers on his behalf:

That is correct, [censored] you.  Go Preds!

Now, if you have not figured it out by now, we will not be having a full Link Dump again this week.  Yes, that makes two in a row, a losing streak.  But we do, however, have a little story to share regarding an internet sensation that developed right under our noses.  If you head to YouTube and search "double dream hands", you are going to find a series of videos parodying a white guy doing a dance he calls "Double Dream Hands".  Some of you might have already done this and be well aware of what we are talking about.  That man is John Jacobson, and the dance is absolutely real.  How do I know this you ask?  

Well, you may recall that one time the Chief revealed that little secret about him being part of a nationally-ranked show choir back when he was in high school.  But the choir was not just about crushing opponents left and right in competitions across the country.  They also participated in many events for the children in the community, and donated their time to some charities.  One such charity is called America Sings!, which is a non-profit organization that puts on non-competitive choral festivals to help raise food, clothing, and money for disadvantaged children across the country.  Well, American Sings! was founded by a composer, arranger, choreographer, and 2008 Congressional candidate; one John Jacobson.    That is right, my dear readers, your beloved Chief has met, learned choreography from, and performed on stage with Mr. Double Dream Hands himself . . . on several occasions.  So, for your viewing pleasure, we present you two original John Jacobson productions:

• The dance that started it all, the original Double Dream Hands for all of you to learn and love.
• To easy? Well, now you can rock out with Double Dream Feet.  You. Are. Welcome.

The Chief informs us that they always learned the necessary choreography over the course of a sixteen-hour, two-day weekend event with Mr. Jacobson, months before America Sings! came to town.  Pretty much the ideal weekend for your average high school student, right?  Do yourself a favor and check out some of the YouTube parodies, they are pretty solid.  And check out the clips with Ellen Degeneres as well, classic.  But do not think those are the only things we have in store for your viewing enjoyment today.  In addition to Kristen Bell rocking the black-bra-under-white-shirt look (hot, right?), and John Jacobson making you want to stand up and dance in your office or cubicle (hot, right?), we have a few extra nuggets for you:

• I do not know about you, but I always feel good just getting past "ping, pong, rally, on."  So I guess that makes this pretty impressive.
• This interview pretty much confirms everything we expected about Hollywood screenwriters.
• Oh Martin, you will always be Ned Nederlander to me.
• I guarantee you this is not the first time Melanie Collins has been invited to watch someone do their business.
• You can bet the Chief was in need of necessary censorship on Monday night.

We will do our best to get the Chief back in shape by Monday.  In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone!

Just One of Those Days . . .

Well, this happened last night and, not surprisingly, the Chief called in "sick" this morning.  He told us to close up shop earlier because it is Good Friday and "apparently that's some sort of holiday that people use as an excuse to leave work early."  Far be it from us to argue with a man telling us to go home early.

That being said, he demanded we not get too lazy and "make sure [we] send all of GameTime, TBD©'s avid readers off with a little treat for the holiday weekend."  I am not completely clear on what he meant by treat, but I am going to guess he meant this:

 

 Ah, Marisa, welcome back.  It has been far too long.  The picture was posted to her blog as a "sneak peek" of a recent photo shoot she did.  She does not reveal what shoot it was, but she casually mentions "I haven’t done something this sexy in a while."  Needless to say, we can not wait to see what the rest of the shoot looked like.  That being said, I am definitely going to try to convince my Better Half that she should be lounging around the house in high heels and her underwear from now on.  That should go well.

Also, our original intention with our "little treat" was to find a picture of an attractive female wearing a Kings jersey to remind the Chief that at least something good can come from wearing the uniform, but our search went about as well as Jonathan Quick stopped pucks over these past two games.  So, it you are an attractive female looking for more exposure, you should totally email or tweet us a picture of you in a Kings jersey and help make the Chief feel a little better.

Last, but certainly not least, do not think we would dare consider sending you off without at least a few clips for your viewing pleasure.  This is, after all, a civilized blog.  So:

• Esquire has put together a list of fifty songs all guys should know.  And to help you remember them, they enlisted Glee's Heather Morris to dance to them. So, now when you are asked what song was your favorite, you can respond "Huh? Songs?"
• Can you tell me how to get to Houston Street?
• I think Brian Wilson's beard ranks second on my list of "Most Distracting Things in the World".
• [*Mortal Kombat voice*] Flawless victory.
• Cause, you know, the blue blends right in with the ice . . .
• Note to self: Sarah Palin will not give sympathy BJs to the Democrats.

Have a great weekend everyone!

One Game Down, Down One Game

Here are some of things we learned from last night's opener of the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Shark's playoff series:

1. The Kings are down one game to none.
2. It is going to be a great series.
3. Thirty seconds into the game, My Better Half had the nerve to say: "They're good.  I mean, no offense, but that was a nice play."
4. According to random homeless guys in San Francisco, "75% of teams that have won the Stanley Cup lost game 1."*
5. There is a very real possibility that the Chief can not be friends with any of his friends/family members who are San Jose Sharks fans for the next two weeks, give or take a couple of days.  The real question is: will they want to be friends with him when it is all said and done? Mostly said though . . . 
6. Three twenty-two ounce beers with an alcohol-by-volume of 9.5% or more will render a grown man relatively useless the next day.

Indeed, the Chief walked into to work looking like a man whose team lost an overtime playoff game last night.  It truly was a sight to be seen.  When asked for comment on the game he responded: "Shhhhh, do you have to yell?  I'm right here."  I guess the body does not recover like it used to when you are an old man.  And then I had to do something I am not proud of.  I said: "Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!"

His first look made me think I was going to lose my job.  But then we caught a glimpse of the Chief we all know and love.  He chugged his venti coffee, took a deep breath, and gave us his analysis.  He was pleased with the Kings effort, blah, blah, blah.  Glad they did not get down on themselves after giving up that early goal, yada, yada, yada.  And then he touched the third rail, saying "there is no way that Jarret Stoll should be suspended for the second game", which is a rumor circulating on Twitter right now.  He claims to have watched the hit one hundred times since the game ended (we wouldn't doubt him), and he maintains that it was an unfortunate result of Ian White being in a bad position at the time of the hit.  It is unfortunate when a play like that ends in an injury, but Stoll is not a dirty player.  That being said, the NHL, like every other league, is trying to crack down on "hits to the head" and I would not be surprised if the league sat Stoll for a game.  The Chief acknowledged he would not be surprised if that happened either but maintained his position that it was not warranted and also pointed out that, "if Stoll is suspended for one game, then Sharks defenseman Jason Demers should sit for a game for his non-penalized hit on Ryan Smyth.  Last time I checked, leaving your feet is charging, and throwing an elbow at a player's head would seem to constitute a 'hit to the head' in my book.  The only difference I can see is that Smyth was not hurt on the play while White was."  Pretty impressive that the Chief can link to sources while talking, is it not?  Oh, and he makes a decent point too.

And to prove that the Chief we know and love is still in there, he finished with "Now, get that Link Dump done so we can go grab some beer and wings; I could really use a little hair of the dog."  Ask and ye shall receive:

• Allow us to introduce you to the sport of Hurling with such phrases as "fractured eye socket," "had the finger reattached," and "shattered one testicle, had to have half the second removed".
• "Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi." 
• Major League Baseball looks at the data and discovers that, apparently, high-definition television are not going anywhere anytime soon.
• Your "Uplifting Story of the Week": prognosis good for partially-paralyzed outfielder.
• Hmm . . . did I ever bet on a University of San Diego basketball game?
• But what happens to the statue when he has to return the Heisman in two years?
• NFL Network trades Joe Theismann and Matt Millen for Mike Mayock and an announcer to be named later. 
• Did you mean "train wreck", Matt?
• Want to miss the cut at the Masters?  This yardage book should help.
• Speaking of missing the cut, I am going to go out on a limb and say it will take an impressive second round out of Kevin Na for him to make the cut after this. 
• I would not mind having Sophie Horn in my next foursome . . . wait, what?
• Should be much easier for Mike Tyson to eat those children now.
• Clijsters got hurt how?
• British courts are not afraid to order gagging as part of affairs? Kinky.
• Taking the phrase "sex sells" to a whole new level.

So, anyone interested in joining us for beer, wings, and whatever sports happen to be on television right now?  Ha, trick question.  You are all too busy reading this Link Dump, enjoying those links above, and getting ready to enjoy the videos.  But, if you would like to join us, drop us a line . . . once you have watched these:

• Have you watched the intro video to Kate Upton's website?  No?  You. Are. Welcome.
• Am I supposed to be surprised an unmanned tractor wreaked havoc in a Walmart parking lot?  
• Good to see the Royals organization's ability to fail extends beyond just their baseball team.
• As the title of the video suggests, is this even human?
• If you missed the first episode of Norm McDonald's new sports show (conveniently titled "Sports Show with Norm McDonald"), then you missed this.
• And if you missed opening day at Wrigley Field, then you missed this.  Of course, you might just have been too drunk to remember.
• Sounds like Mayor Viaragosa has some interesting plans for Los Angeles moving forward.  

Have a great weekend everyone!


*No homeless people were hurt in the making of this blog.