Now You Know . . . And Knowing Is Half the Battle

I know more than a few people out there (some avid readers, some not . . . their loss) whom are headed out to San Antonio, Texas because some colleges are finishing up some stupid tournament that no one really cares about (okay, that's a lie; I'm just jealous that they're going and I'm not). So, for all you Bruin faithful headed out to cheer on our team in person, I thought I would help you get prepared for the weekend. Here is everything you have "ever" wanted to know about the great city of San Antonio, Texas (what's that? You've never wanted to know anything about San Antonio? Well, keep reading and maybe you'll learn something new).

For starters, San Antonio is the second largest city in all of Texas, and the seventh largest city in the United States (of America . . . if you were confused and thought you might be headed to a foreign country). Located in Bexar county, San Antonio is "in the northern part of South Texas" (I am a little confused here . . . when did we split Texas into two states? I just counted and there are still only 50 stars on the American Flag. Did we revoke someone's statehood? I bet it was New Jersey. Stupid public school/pricey-private-college education . . . a lot of good you did me).

What is now San Antonio was originally a Coahuiltecan Indian village until Spain sent missionaries to colonize the native people some 300 years ago. In 1718, the Franciscans constructed a mission, San Antonio de Valero, to convert, educate, and serve as the economic core for the settlement. In 1731, Spain sent settlers from the Canary Islands to further establish their colonial presence and over the next few years, built four more missions along the river. A lack of military support and raids by neighboring Comanche and Apaches weakened Spain's control of the original mission and, in 1794, Mission San Antonia de Valero was secularized and became a Spanish military installation . . . a little place people like to call The Alamo.

You might remember The Alamo from its leading roll in the critically acclaimed performance of the Texas Revolution. It was not but 170 years ago (1836), that 189 Texas fighters (wait, we had war planes in 1836?) held off Antonia Lopez de Santa Anna and his 4,000-plus lackies for 13 days. Most famous among them was, of course, Davy Crockett, a great American folk hero and the owner of a very fancy Double Tree resort and vineyard in Santa Barbara, California where my sister and brother-in-law held their wedding reception. He has aged quite well for having been born sometime around 1786 and does not show much evidence of "dying" at the Battle of the Alamo.

When packing for your trip, do not forget to pack your shorts and, if you are not cool enough to live in Southern California, your sunscreen. The average daily temperature for San Antonio in April is 80 degrees. The record high in April was 101 degrees, set back in 1996. As for that sunscreen, I would not be expecting much rain. San Antonio averages only 2.6 inches of rain during the month of April.

For all of you Bruin fans looking for something to do on Sunday between UCLA games (or if you're a Memphis fan waiting for an afternoon flight home), San Antonio's "Hot Spot" is the River Walk, which works its way through Downtown San Antonio and has many restaurants and bars for you to celebrate (or drown your sorrows) at. If drinking is not your thing (though, you probably don't read GameTime, TBD© then), there is also SeaWorld San Antonio, Six Flags Fiesta Texas, and the Fairmont Hotel (built in 1906, the Fairmont stands as one of the heaviest buildings ever moved intact . . . in 1985 it was moved over four days to its current location 3 blocks south of The Alamo for the bargain price of only $650k). Unfortunately, with the Final Four being played at the Alamodome, the San Antonio Spurs will be playing at the Portland Trail Blazers, so I am unable to list Evan Longoria (not to be mistaken with Tampa Bay Rays' prospect Eva Longoria) as a local attraction. If your name is Matt Leinart, and for some reason you are reading GameTime, TBD©, I would like to let you know that your local attractions are likely to be found at the University of Texas at San Antonio or Trinity University (and I hear that ITT Tech and University of Phoenix have some hot co-eds at their San Antonio campuses, so check them out too Matty).

If you are lucky, maybe you will be able to spot one of San Antonio's finest (Henry Cisneros, Alberto Gonzalez, Oliver North, and Tommy Lee Jones), or their FINEST (Lara Flynn Boyle . . . oh wait, it turns out she's just married to some San Antonio businessman . . . but I feel like that's enough, don't you?), at the Final Four. I mean, it is not very likely that they will just give up their seats to you and you will end up in a picture in Sports Illustrated, but you never know (right Jimbo?).

So there you have it; everything you need to know about the great city of San Antonio. Well, actually, I cannot say I have ever actually been to San Antonio, but it seems great. Mostly I am just hoping that everyone gets to see the Bruins play twice in San Antonio. Thankfully Florida is not around this year, but my friends all say that if John Calipari were smart (which, thankfully, he's not), he would pay for Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Corey Brewer, and Taurean Green to come sit courtside during the UCLA/Memphis game on Saturday (tip off at 6:07 EST). You can rest assured that I will securely glued to my couch by then with all throwable objects moved a safe distance away.

I hope all you travelers have a safe and fun trip to San Antonio, regardless of which team you are rooting for. But if you are not having a good time, do not bother me, I will be busy celebrating the UCLA Bruins' 12th National Championship.